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And this one is part of a story book I am working on.  It is a based on a six month shamanic quest.                 

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Another shamanic sketch in various stages of completion.

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This is one of a series of illustrations I did while journeying shamanisticly.  Yes, I know, its rather odd, but so are the whispers of our souls and all such inner journeys.

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It's been quite a while since I've had time to post.  I've been a hero's journey, one my soul begged for despite my mind's warning. I've done my best to breathe, face my fears, grow and stay afloat, amidst the constant shifts and changes.

Time, security and sometimes even love seem the ultimate sacrifice for authenticity. And yet, how can we as dreamers, believers, artists and explorers do otherwise?  We are driven by this great need to be genuine, to embark upon these quests propelled by our souls desire to understand, assimilate, share and express.  We do so with the risk of facing great challenges and the very palatable fear of failure.  And yet, hope whispers granting glimpses of the unknown and the possibility of achieving wonders not yet dreamed of. 
Despite another avalanche of changes, I still my mind and again lean forward to drink from the well of the unknown. I reach out embracing this new chapter of my life and the eternal quest for growth and deeper understanding.  In the days, weeks and months to come I will begin to post once more.  I will share a glimpse of various projects I have been working on.  Some posts will deal with older, unfinished projects long dormant. As with any story or particular chapters of life, sometimes they must be put aside until we acquire clearer vision and wisdom to proceed.

I wish all of us creative visionaries, artists, writers, poets, storytellers, dancers, musicians, shamans, healers,crafters of all sorts, and all of humanity, success in our endeavors to create a better, more authentic, beautiful world. Peace, love and light. <3>

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Dreams and Whispers by Vivian Hadding

I understand the reasons why you're angry
The come and go of your affection
Life is cold and you're so hungry
And forgotten myths
Still they haunt you
I don't know why
But that's the price we pay
For fairy wishes
And midnight visions
Its never easy for a dreamer
A noble cause
A knight so eager
But the princess was broken
Long before she was queen
Some fools frown and lecture
Few seldom believe
Be still and breathe, she whispers
Be still and breathe

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Oh West Wind
These were our dreams
But we a shattered mess
Chasing love, trying to believe
Fear screaming and hearts wielding
Against all odds like curtains swept aside
Oh fierce west winds you've broken all our hearts
Like panes of glass, shards small and large
Cracked pots with weeds and roses all entwined
How shall we face this bold new dawn?
With faith in freedom's light
We fight
But no, the answer lies
Tis not our right to hold so tight
Let go and trust whispers the north
And in the end all wrongs will right
Music flows and words they fall
Collect them all
Bandage our souls
West wind relax your hold
Gentle, gentle you must blow
Whispering soft soothing songs
Pick up the pieces and now we're one
You and I as eagles fly
A feather floats into my hand
Sweet kiss, reminder of a promised past
But it's all right oh gentle wind
In the end all we need is what we have.

Vivian Hadding

July 23, 2014

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Work in progress....

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Sweet Hugs and Kisses, Protection and Bliss

What is it about children that tear at your heart
Is it a curse being a Mom
We give them everything...as much as we can
Its never enough, not our love nor our time
We have precious little as we stumble half blind
Hurrying and striving to do all that we can
The dishes, the laundry, the cooking and gardening
The homework, their projects, plays, puppies and camping...
Hundreds of cookies, dozens of pies, butter cream frosting, cakes a mile high...
Pink Easter baskets, chocolate eggs, bright jack o' lanterns, paper mache'...
And what of those Christmases not long ago...hand made stockings, glittering cones,
Bedtime stories, prayers and a kiss
Promising always protection and bliss...

Then divorce like disaster takes hold of your life
In the blink of an eye nothing is right
No money for goodies, no time to bake pies...
No skating, no dancing, they give it all up
Yet you all forge onward working so hard
Struggling to make it, great sacrifice
And just when you thought you all might have a chance
Growth spurts ahead, rebellion a chant

They watch and they need you, perhaps more than before
And a year, then two passes and suddenly grown
They begin to embrace their own private lives...
Conversations gets harder, communication more strained
The fear in their eyes colder, pain harder to bear
And those innocent faces once overflowing with joy
Seem distant, demanding and so very lost

You wonder what happen, where you messed up
Instead of closer, you've all moved apart
Work always consumes you, time's not on your side
Something has severed, some bond, some tie
And no one is listening when you try to talk
The subject too tender, the memories too harsh

You must have failed them, somewhere along the line
You didn't pay enough attention
You didn't listen to your heart
You tried to understand the questions
You tried to heal all their wounds
You wanted to be a pillar of strength

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Flowing...waking up. Trying to get a feel for life....walking slowly like water sliding over rocks in a cool green pond...finding my rhythm slowly and deeply... listening to the sun in my heart. Cooking and cleaning, washing away the past....nurturing the present. Clearing out the toys, illusions, the hold of misdirected thoughts. Dancing with the wind, embracing, opening my heart.

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One of my digital illustrations, drawn on my Wacom using Painter IX. That just means that instead of drawing this on paper and painting it with traditional watercolors, I sketched it directly to my tablet and used digital watercolors to paint it.

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A story I wrote and I'm illustrating in a 5 by 5 and a half inch journal for the 2010 Sketchbook Project...

Sheagua Dreamer of the Golden Sea, by Vivian Hadding

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The Wickedness Of Love, by Vivian Hadding

How could you have betrayed our trust
Push and pulling us past our breaking point
Not just me, but our children
We, who could withstand your hate,
Your anger, your vengeance no longer
We still love you
I will always love you
But you proved too much to endure
A mountain too difficult to climb
One with fault lines constantly changing
Volcanoes erupting too frequently and without warning
Have you given any thought to the damaged you've created
The gravity of the sins your pride has cost us
But in your mind you are the only pained one
In your mind you the only one who ever worked for us
And I, I, who gave all I had that you might fly,
That you might realize your worth...
Your light hidden so deep inside
But, you took to the path of darkness,
You embraced fear
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You Haunt Me: Two Hundred Thirty Four Days,
from Songs for the Dragon King, by Vivian Hadding

You haunt me Dragon King
I am consumed by your spirit
Your heart holds my soul frozen
No other can enter there save you
For you filled me with your promises of hope
Promises of faith and a love like no other
Pure and filled with divine grace
Chasing the shadows of fear
The memories of pain
A bolt of lightning shattering
Ancient illusion and disgrace
But now you are gone
And the wind it howls within me
Lone and desolate
I hear the falcons cry
Feel the eagle's flight in the night sky
Silent and lonely, yet free and proud
The myth of the Dragon King dissolved

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