Sonny says, "Life is a rush!"
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By: Lou Simeone,
on 4/10/2012
Blog: Sugar Frosted Goodness (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: cartoon, surfer, surf board, surf, cartoon caricature, cartoon illustration caricature, caricature cartoon, Lou Simeone, samalou.com, cartoon illustration, cartoon artist, Add a tag
By: Laura,
on 8/2/2011
Blog: the pageturn (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: teens, trends, surfing, summer reading, surfer, Tera Lynn Childs, read alouds, sharks, storytime ideas, Tom Dunne, Tallulah Casey, HarperCollins, interviews, Libraries, Books, Authors, Picture Books, Videos, Beginning Readers, mermaids, YA Books, Illustrators, Florida, Kevin Henkes, camp, Storytime, Louise Rennison, Booktalks, beach reads, Bob Shea, Tween books, Eric Luper, Balzer+Bray, Katherine Tegen, Lisa Pliscou, Georgia Nicholson, Add a tag
By: Michelle,
on 2/28/2011
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: oed, oxford english dictionary, surfer, dude, surfers, big lebowski, The Dude, Lebowski, *Featured, Lexicography & Language, TV & Film, Cohen brothers, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Spicoli, dudeism, hollywood, oscars, Add a tag
By: octavio diaz,
on 10/13/2008
Blog: Sugar Frosted Goodness (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: beach, cat, surfing, surfer, waves, surf, SFG: Scary, Octavio Diaz, Add a tag
By: scriberess,
on 4/12/2008
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Barbie, surfing, eleanor tylbor, Ken, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, plastic dolls, play. cyber soap opera, soldier, surfer, surf board, waves, Add a tag
By: Rebecca,
on 1/2/2008
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: History, the, tolkien, alcohol, of, lord, rings, Film, A-Featured, Online Resources, Prose, hobbit, Add a tag
By: scriberess,
on 7/16/2007
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: plays, Blain, misc. parties and nightlife, surfer, life, love, humor, plays, entertainment, Plasticville, Barbie, Blain, Ken, surfer, misc. parties and nightlife, celebrities, Barbie, entertainment, Ken, Plasticville, Add a tag
By: Rebecca,
on 6/13/2007
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: blog, book, Literature, oxford, class, classic, discussion, excerpt, A-Featured, Prose, club, tess, durbervilles, lord, Add a tag
By: scriberess,
on 5/29/2007
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: plastic dolls, Blain, surfer, bandaid, life, story, humor, Australia, entertainment, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, Barbie, plastic dolls, Blain, Ken, bandaid, surfer, Barbie, entertainment, Ken, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, Add a tag
BARBIE
What are you trying to tell me, G.I.?
G.I. JOE
Hey! Is that the place where them there giant jumping mice live? ‘Cause if it is – I can get some of my men together and we can go hunt them down and…
BARBIE
Like…pleeze, G.I.! Is that all you care about? Killing and maiming? You are so violent!
G.I. JOE
Thank you. I know. Gawd I love it when you use those big words. You’re so smart, babe!
(BARBIE attempts to cradle BLAIN’s plastic head but it continually slips out of her inflexible hands and she ends up dropping his head on the ground)
BARBIE
Like…I’m soooo sorry. Blain? Are you okay, baby?
BLAIN
(mumbling)
Wha’? Hear? Surf’s up! Where’s my board…get my board please, mummy
BARBIE
Oh Blain…honey! It’s me, your Barbie doll!
BLAIN
Mummy? I have a boo-boo on my head. It hurts baaaaad
G.I. JOE
I dunno, babe! Sounds suspish..sustik… Could be an enemy. Better frisk him…
BLAIN
(dazed)
Daddy? Is that you?
G.I. JOE
Hey! I ain’t your dad! I’m a soldier and don’t you forget it. Ten-shun!
BLAIN
I see pretty stars floating in front of my eyes. Do you see them too? Let’s catch one
G.I. JOE
Stars? Oh…you mean the stars on this here u-ni-form I’m wearing! Wanna know what they’re for? See…this here one…
BLAIN
Twinkle, twinkle little staaaarrrr…how I wonder where you arrrrre…
G.I. JOE
…is for foldin’ my clothes nicely and this here one is…
BLAIN
…high above the earth so high…
G.I. JOE
…I got for brushin’ my teeth three times a day…
BARBIE
We have to get Blain to a hospital!
G.I. JOE
Hospital? We don’t need no hospital. See this here badge? I got that for First Aid. Your G.I. Joe can fix his boo-boo, lickety-split. Even faster than that
BARBIE
Like…don’t think I don’t appreciate the offer but I think my sweetie here…I mean to say, Blain here, needs a real hospital where real doctors…
G.I. JOE
Hey! Whad’ya mean, ‘real doctors’? They don’t give these here badgers…
BARBIE
…badges…
G.I. JOE
Huh? That’s what I said
BARBIE
Like…you said, BADGERS
G.I. JOE
Yeah. Badgers.
BARBIE
They’re B-A-D-G-E-S
G.I. JOE
Badgers…badges. What’s the difference?
BARBIE
A lot. One is an animal and the other is a… Why am I bothering to explain?
(G.I. JOE checks in a pocket and produces a band aid)
G.I. JOE
(Cont’d.) Here it is! I knew I had one on me…it’s a little old but it’s still good. So where’s the cut?
BARBIE
Um… Why don’t you talk with the doctors…just to make sure of course that they know what they’re doing? Here – let’s use my cell phone to call
(KEN suddenly walks out of the woods, running towards BARBIE and G.I. JOE, holding a surf board)
KEN
Hey Barbie! Surf’s up! Grab your…
BLAIN
(groggy)
Surf…gotta surf…
G.I. JOE
At ease, soldier! You’re in no state to surf. Here – lemme put this here band aid on your boo-boo…
KEN
Oh? Who do we have here? Blain? You whale scum! Shark doo-doo…
BARBIE
Um…Ken. Can you keep that for after? G.I. Joe here, like…got a little excited and like…hit him on the head with plastic bullets
KEN
You mean…Blain here is hurt? Oh my poor ba-by boy!. I mean, the idiot. He should be in a hospital getting proper care
G.I. JOE
Hey! He is getting cared for by me! I know all about fixin’ boo-boos!
KEN
(staring at him for ten seconds)
We can transport him to a hospital on my surf board. Now you take his arms Barbie, and I’ll take his legs…
(BARBIE and KEN attempt to bend over and grasp BLAIN’s legs and arms without success. As BARBIE picks up his arms, KEN drops his legs and vice-versa)
G.I. JOE
Here – let a soldier show you how it’s done
(G.I. JOE grabs BLAIN’s arms and attempts to throw him over his soldier but misses. BLAIN is propelled over G.I. JOE’s soldier, screaming all the while)
G.I. JOE
Whooops…
(to be continued)
Question du jour: will BLAIN receive the necessary medical help he requires?
©Eleanor Tylbor, 2007
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By: Lou Simeone,
on 4/10/2012
Blog: Sugar Frosted Goodness (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: cartoon, surfer, surf board, surf, cartoon caricature, cartoon illustration caricature, caricature cartoon, Lou Simeone, samalou.com, cartoon illustration, cartoon artist, Add a tag
By: Laura,
on 8/2/2011
Blog: the pageturn (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: teens, trends, surfing, summer reading, surfer, Tera Lynn Childs, read alouds, sharks, storytime ideas, Tom Dunne, Tallulah Casey, HarperCollins, interviews, Libraries, Books, Authors, Picture Books, Videos, Beginning Readers, mermaids, YA Books, Illustrators, Florida, Kevin Henkes, camp, Storytime, Louise Rennison, Booktalks, beach reads, Bob Shea, Tween books, Eric Luper, Balzer+Bray, Katherine Tegen, Lisa Pliscou, Georgia Nicholson, Add a tag
Lest you think from our Back to School post that we’re completely over summer, we thought we’d highlight a few books that will get you through the rest of the dog days. There are still several more weeks left until it cools down, and these great reads will help you hang on to the summer days:
I’M A SHARK by Bob Shea
Even sharks can be afraid… (watch the adorable video)
DUDE: FUN WITH DUDE AND BETTY by Lisa Pliscou, illustrated by Tom Dunne
Dick and Jane…surfer style!
JUNONIA by Kevin Henkes
10-year-old Alice Rice grows up during her family’s annual summer vacation in Florida.
JEREMY BENDER VS. THE CUPCAKE CADETS by Eric Luper
Check out this hilarious video of Eric Luper interviewing Eric Luper.
WITHERING TIGHTS by Louise Rennison
A summer performing arts camp? Boys, snogging, and bad acting guaranteed! Recommend to your fans of “Glee” or Georgia Nicholson.
FINS ARE FOREVER by Tera Lynn Childs
Mermaids are the next vampires…or werewolves…or angels…! This sequel to
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By: Michelle,
on 2/28/2011
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: oed, oxford english dictionary, surfer, dude, surfers, big lebowski, The Dude, Lebowski, *Featured, Lexicography & Language, TV & Film, Cohen brothers, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Spicoli, dudeism, hollywood, oscars, Add a tag
By Michelle Rafferty
Last week we prepared for the Academy Awards by discussing words and phrases coined from film (twitterpated, to bogart, party on) as well as linguistic choices in film this year (Winkelvii, ballerina lingo, The Kids are All Right, not alright) . While watching the awards last night it occurred to me that we failed to address one of the most important cinematic words of all time: dude. Or in the parlance of our time: The Dude.
But before we get to Lebowski (who, thanks to Sandra Bullock, did get a shout-out last night) let’s go back 30 years, when Hollywood gave us surfer dude. According to Matt Kohl, Senior Editorial Researcher at the OED:
The negative stigma resulted from earlier Hollywood portrayals of surf culture, which were by and large unflattering, especially with respect to intelligence. Spicoli in Fast Times (1982) is a pretty iconic example.
And then:
15+ years later, we get Lebowski from the Coen brothers. Though there are some indications of Spicoli in him: long hair, shabby attire, and a relaxed attitude toward drug-use and the law, it’s evident right away that The Dude isn’t derivative of Fast Times, Bill & Ted, or any other 80s dude convention…For the generation of viewers that fell in love with The Big Lebowski, dude took on a whole new meaning.
"Duuuude" vs. The Dude
While the Cohen brothers’ dude continues to have positive associations, religious adherence in some cases (see: dudeism, Lebowski Fest), the surfer sense of dude has seen substantial backlash in the last 5-10 years. As Matt told me:
Now some surfers won’t use the word at all. In fact, there’s a making-of feature in Riding Giants, which is one of the more high-profile surf movies to come out recently, in which the director talks about the fact that none of the surfers featured in his movie uses “dude” or any of that beach-stoner vernacular.
Where Dude Originally Came From
Oscar Wilde, the original dude?
When the term first
0 Comments on Hollywood and The Dude as of 1/1/1900
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By: octavio diaz,
on 10/13/2008
Blog: Sugar Frosted Goodness (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: beach, cat, surfing, surfer, waves, surf, SFG: Scary, Octavio Diaz, Add a tag
Cover of the October edition of The Beachside Resident.
0 Comments on SFG: Scary as of 10/13/2008 8:10:00 PM
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By: scriberess,
on 4/12/2008
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Barbie, surfing, eleanor tylbor, Ken, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, plastic dolls, play. cyber soap opera, soldier, surfer, surf board, waves, Add a tag
BARBIE, KEN & THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE
(the continuing saga of life among the plastic people)
by Eleanor Tylbor
Our story so far:
EXILED IN A WAREHOUSE DUE TO AN UNFORESEEN PRODUCT RECALL, THE PLASTICVILLE CREW WERE UNDER SEIGE BY A DEMOLITION COMPANY, SENT TO CLEAR OUT THE WAREHOUSE
BARBIE
(struggling to lift the lid of her box)
Somehow...we've...got...to...show...that...we're...here. Can't...move...this...top. If...only my...legs...would...bend...
G.I. JOE
Stop your moaning, soldier! You're part of the proudest fighting machine in the nation! Ten-shun!
BARBIE
Earth-to-G.I. Joe! Earth-to-G.I. Joe! Knock-knock! Anybody home?
G.I. JOE
Who's there? Anybody-home-who? Love 'em knock-knock jokes! Go on - tell me the punch line
BARBIE
No Joe - it's not a knock-knock joke. It's not funny one little bit! Like...we gotta find a way to tell those people we're here or else it's curtains for us
KEN
Surf's up! I hear it and the smell of salt water!
BARBIE
Ken...Ken...Ken... What you hear is the sound of heavy equipment and the smell of gasoline. Get a grip!
G.I. JOE
Yeah - get a life soldier sissy-boy! (sniffing) I just love the smell of gasoline in the morning! Hey soldiers - I think I got me an idea. I'm not quite sure yet but I feel something happening in my head. Wait a minute... Yeah - it's definitely an idea. Sometimes it's just dandruff but this time it's an idea...
KEN
Oh Gawd! We're gonna die!
(ALL THE BARBIES', KENS' AND GI JOE'S' IN THE BOXES, ECHO KEN'S WORDS)
BARBIES, KENS, GI JOES (TOGETHER): 'We're gonna diiiiie!'
G.I. JOE
(softly)
Ssssssh - quiet - everyone! The enemy is near! They think we can't hear them but I can. I've been trained to hear enemy talk. These aren't your run-of-the-mill, every-day, plastic ears, y'know! Keep your mouths shut and for gawd's sake - youze all, stop your snivelling! I can hear them... They're saying: 'Blow this place sky high!' I gotcha, you bastards! You ain't gonna get away with it! G.I. Joe is gonna blow us all to kingdom come! I got me one last grenade and...
BARBIE
No! Please! Listen to me, Joe! Babe! Soldier boy!
KEN
We're all gonna diiiiiie! I'm too young to die. I still got a lot of surfing to do!
KEN:(sung to: "Lot of Livin' to Do")
There are waves, just right for some surfing,
And I'm gonna get me a few,
Lots of curls waitin' in Hawaii,
Oh I got a lot of surfin' to doooooo!
BARBIE
Oh Ken - I love it when you sing! I almost forgot what a good voice you have
KEN
I know. Remember when I tried out for American Idol but they wouldn't let me sing to my surf board? Damn Simon! Damn Brits! What do they know about surfing? Oh babe! If only I could touch you! Remember how we used to watch the waves from your beach house, holding hands? The tips of our plastic fingers touching each other. It was magic! Waves came in...and then went out... Came in...and went out...
BARBIE
I get the picture. That seems like centuries ago! Oh why, oh why, must we deserve this fate?
G.I. JOE
Hey! As long as I got my one leg and arm - I'm gonna save us all! And don't forget I still got my teeth
KEN
...we don't have teeth, G.I....
G.I. JOE
Oh yeah. I knew that. Well...anyway. All I haf'ta do is pull this here string with my one good toe... And... Just a minute now...I'm almost there
BARBIE
No! Stop! You'll blow us all to bits!
G.I. JOE
Almost there...I got the end... just pull...
(SUDDENLY, THERE IS A HUGE BANG AND EXPLOSION. ALL THE BOXES AND THE LIDS FLY UP IN THE AIR)
KEN
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Surf's up!
BARBIE
(in mid-air)
My-my wardrobe! It's ruined! My life as a fashion icon is over! I am no longer the fashionista that everyone looks up to... The Bratts win in the end
G.I. JOE
Told you I'd get us outta here, babe! Look - there's my jeep down there! We're as good as free, babe!
(AS THEY SLOWLY FALL TO THE GROUND, ONE CAN ONLY SPECULATE AS TO WHERE THEY WILL END UP NEXT. WILL THEY BE FREE AGAIN OR ARE THEY FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE?)
EXILED IN A WAREHOUSE DUE TO AN UNFORESEEN PRODUCT RECALL, THE PLASTICVILLE CREW WERE UNDER SEIGE BY A DEMOLITION COMPANY, SENT TO CLEAR OUT THE WAREHOUSE
BARBIE
(struggling to lift the lid of her box)
Somehow...we've...got...to...show...that...we're...here. Can't...move...this...top. If...only my...legs...would...bend...
G.I. JOE
Stop your moaning, soldier! You're part of the proudest fighting machine in the nation! Ten-shun!
BARBIE
Earth-to-G.I. Joe! Earth-to-G.I. Joe! Knock-knock! Anybody home?
G.I. JOE
Who's there? Anybody-home-who? Love 'em knock-knock jokes! Go on - tell me the punch line
BARBIE
No Joe - it's not a knock-knock joke. It's not funny one little bit! Like...we gotta find a way to tell those people we're here or else it's curtains for us
KEN
Surf's up! I hear it and the smell of salt water!
BARBIE
Ken...Ken...Ken... What you hear is the sound of heavy equipment and the smell of gasoline. Get a grip!
G.I. JOE
Yeah - get a life soldier sissy-boy! (sniffing) I just love the smell of gasoline in the morning! Hey soldiers - I think I got me an idea. I'm not quite sure yet but I feel something happening in my head. Wait a minute... Yeah - it's definitely an idea. Sometimes it's just dandruff but this time it's an idea...
KEN
Oh Gawd! We're gonna die!
(ALL THE BARBIES', KENS' AND GI JOE'S' IN THE BOXES, ECHO KEN'S WORDS)
BARBIES, KENS, GI JOES (TOGETHER): 'We're gonna diiiiie!'
G.I. JOE
(softly)
Ssssssh - quiet - everyone! The enemy is near! They think we can't hear them but I can. I've been trained to hear enemy talk. These aren't your run-of-the-mill, every-day, plastic ears, y'know! Keep your mouths shut and for gawd's sake - youze all, stop your snivelling! I can hear them... They're saying: 'Blow this place sky high!' I gotcha, you bastards! You ain't gonna get away with it! G.I. Joe is gonna blow us all to kingdom come! I got me one last grenade and...
BARBIE
No! Please! Listen to me, Joe! Babe! Soldier boy!
KEN
We're all gonna diiiiiie! I'm too young to die. I still got a lot of surfing to do!
KEN:(sung to: "Lot of Livin' to Do")
There are waves, just right for some surfing,
And I'm gonna get me a few,
Lots of curls waitin' in Hawaii,
Oh I got a lot of surfin' to doooooo!
BARBIE
Oh Ken - I love it when you sing! I almost forgot what a good voice you have
KEN
I know. Remember when I tried out for American Idol but they wouldn't let me sing to my surf board? Damn Simon! Damn Brits! What do they know about surfing? Oh babe! If only I could touch you! Remember how we used to watch the waves from your beach house, holding hands? The tips of our plastic fingers touching each other. It was magic! Waves came in...and then went out... Came in...and went out...
BARBIE
I get the picture. That seems like centuries ago! Oh why, oh why, must we deserve this fate?
G.I. JOE
Hey! As long as I got my one leg and arm - I'm gonna save us all! And don't forget I still got my teeth
KEN
...we don't have teeth, G.I....
G.I. JOE
Oh yeah. I knew that. Well...anyway. All I haf'ta do is pull this here string with my one good toe... And... Just a minute now...I'm almost there
BARBIE
No! Stop! You'll blow us all to bits!
G.I. JOE
Almost there...I got the end... just pull...
(SUDDENLY, THERE IS A HUGE BANG AND EXPLOSION. ALL THE BOXES AND THE LIDS FLY UP IN THE AIR)
KEN
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Surf's up!
BARBIE
(in mid-air)
My-my wardrobe! It's ruined! My life as a fashion icon is over! I am no longer the fashionista that everyone looks up to... The Bratts win in the end
G.I. JOE
Told you I'd get us outta here, babe! Look - there's my jeep down there! We're as good as free, babe!
(AS THEY SLOWLY FALL TO THE GROUND, ONE CAN ONLY SPECULATE AS TO WHERE THEY WILL END UP NEXT. WILL THEY BE FREE AGAIN OR ARE THEY FUGITIVES FROM JUSTICE?)
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By: Rebecca,
on 1/2/2008
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: History, the, tolkien, alcohol, of, lord, rings, Film, A-Featured, Online Resources, Prose, hobbit, Add a tag
On January 3, 1992 J. R. R. Tolkien, author of some of the most beloved fantasy books in history, was born. To celebrate his birthday I decided to learn a bit more about him. Oxford Reference Online led me to The Oxford Encyclopedia of Children’s Literature which contained this great biography. Check it out below. And no, I am not yet counting the days until The Hobbit movie is released!
Tolkien, J. R. R. (1892–1973), British scholar of Anglo- Saxon and medieval literature and writer of fantasy fiction, most notably The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. The enormous success of the latter novel has been decisive in establishing fantasy fiction as a popular literary genre that straddles the boundary between children’s and adults’ literature. Although few of his works were written expressly for children, most are accessible to teenagers and young adults, undoubtedly the largest group among his readers. (more…)
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By: scriberess,
on 7/16/2007
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: plays, Blain, misc. parties and nightlife, surfer, life, love, humor, plays, entertainment, Plasticville, Barbie, Blain, Ken, surfer, misc. parties and nightlife, celebrities, Barbie, entertainment, Ken, Plasticville, Add a tag
BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
By Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: BARBIE, worried that G.I. JOE is “losing it” and concerned that she might end up losing BLAIN, her ex-but-maybe-with-a-little luck Australian surfer boyfriend who has been rendered semi-unconscious as a result of plastic bullets to his head, has broached the subject of breaking up with G.I. JOE
BARBIE
Did you hear what I said, G.I.?
G.I. JOE
Whad’ya mean?
BARBIE
Whad’ya mean, what do I mean? I meant exactly what I told you
G.I. JOE
(deep in thought)
Uh-huh. What did you say, again?
BARBIE
Um… Let me think…
(BLAIN, gains consciousness and picks up his head)
BLAIN
She means she wants to break up with you, mate!
BARBIE
Blain! You’re back! Oh praise be!
BLAIN
Mummy? I gotta go potty!
BARBIE
Like…maybe I spoke too soon
G.I. JOE
What does he mean?
BARBIE
Silly! That’s just Australian for he hast’a pee!
G.I. JOE
Good because I thought he was saying that you wanna leave me. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do if you ever did… Leave, that is
BARBIE
(nervous)
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
By Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: BARBIE, worried that G.I. JOE is “losing it” and concerned that she might end up losing BLAIN, her ex-but-maybe-with-a-little luck Australian surfer boyfriend who has been rendered semi-unconscious as a result of plastic bullets to his head, has broached the subject of breaking up with G.I. JOE
BARBIE
Did you hear what I said, G.I.?
G.I. JOE
Whad’ya mean?
BARBIE
Whad’ya mean, what do I mean? I meant exactly what I told you
G.I. JOE
(deep in thought)
Uh-huh. What did you say, again?
BARBIE
Um… Let me think…
(BLAIN, gains consciousness and picks up his head)
BLAIN
She means she wants to break up with you, mate!
BARBIE
Blain! You’re back! Oh praise be!
BLAIN
Mummy? I gotta go potty!
BARBIE
Like…maybe I spoke too soon
G.I. JOE
What does he mean?
BARBIE
Silly! That’s just Australian for he hast’a pee!
G.I. JOE
Good because I thought he was saying that you wanna leave me. I mean, I don’t know what I’d do if you ever did… Leave, that is
BARBIE
(nervous)
Well… You know, G.I. sometimes – um – two people – um – who have been seeing each other – um – for too long… I mean, who know each other a long time, need to – um…um… Need a rest from each other. Know what I’m trying to say?
G.I. JOE
(thinking deeply)
No
BARBIE
What I’m trying to say is… Perhaps we should go our own ways for a while - but just for a while of course
G.I. JOE
Of course – I get it!
BARBIE
(relieved)
Whew! You do?
G.I. JOE
D’ya think I’m stoopid or something? Of course I understand!
BARBIE
You’ll always be a friend, G.I. and even though we may be apart, you’ll be close in my heart
G.I. JOE
You wanna go shopping by yourself. Right? I mean, I could drive you if you want but I’ll wait outside. That’s okay. I won’t go in with you and force them to serve you first if that’s what you want. I’ll just wait outside in my tank on guard ‘til you’re finished
BARBIE
(whistfully)
Oh G.I. That’s not exactly what I had in mind
G.I. JOE
So you want me to go in and help you choose clothes like always?
BARBIE
Not! Look G.I. – let me make this so you understand. Sometimes two people who’ve known each other for a long time like us…
G.I. JOE
Yeah – we been friends since we were kids and I got my first weapon. Remember? I used to walk you home and nobody would bother you when I’m around. No-one!
BARBIE
That’s exactly what I mean, G.I.!
G.I. JOE
You want me to walk you home, again? I could y’know! All you gotta do is ask! We could hold hands and skip…
BARBIE
(frustrated)
No G.I. I don’t need you to walk me home anymore! In fact I don’t need you! That’s the point!
G.I. JOE
I don’t get it
BARBIE
That’s the problem in a nutshell!
G.I. JOE
(lost in thought)
You want I should crack open some nuts for you? I mean, that’s weird but look – if my Barbie wants nuts…
BARBIE
(to herself)
…don’t finish that sentence, Barbie… Here’s it is. Plain and simple. We have to stop seeing each other
G.I. JOE
You want I should close my eyes?
BARBIE
(very frustrated)
No G.I. I want you and me to take a rest from each other!
G.I. JOE
You mean…
BARBIE
You go your way and I’ll go mine
G.I. JOE
Oh. So… It’s…him, isn’t it?
(points at the still unconscious BLAIN)
G.I. JOE
First it’s Ken and now this…this…surfer dude is trying to steal you away from me!
(BLAIN stirs and lifts his head)
BLAIN
Daddy? I wanna go surfing!
G.I. JOE
Well… He’s gonna have to fight me for you. (does karate chops in the air) My hands are a lethal weapon, y’know!
BARBIE
I know – oh how I know!
G.I. JOE
Where’s my weapon…
BARBIE
Please – no more violence. That’s the problem, G.I. That’s your way of handling everything
G.I. JOE
Hey! A soldier hast’a do what a soldier…
BARBIE
…hast’a do. I know. Go! Please leave – now –before things get out of hand, again
G.I. JOE
(pulling up BLAIN by the hair)
Hey – you! Surfer dude! You ain’t gonna get my Barbie without a fight! Got that?
(G.I. JOE drops BLAIN’s head, which falls on to the ground)
BLAIN
‘Mary had a little lamb…little lamb…little lamb…’
G.I. JOE
See Barbie? He’s a sissy, through-and-through. Who’s Mary? Your girl-friend, sissy-boy? Well – I’m off
BARBIE
That’s the truest thing you’ve said in a long time
G.I. JOE
I’m gonna prepare to defend your honor.
BARBIE
No – please! I don’t want that…
G.I. JOE
Sorry babe but a soldier has’ta…
BARBIE
…been there, heard that
(a familiar voice suddenly breaks the tension)
KEN
Hi-dee-hi-and ho-di-ho, people. Never fear - your Ken is near
BARBIE
Oh gawd! Just what I need now
(Question du Jour: With Ken’s arrival, will the situation become even more complicated than it is? Will Ken take sides and if so, who will he support: his old “friend” or a fellow surfer?)
G.I. JOE
(thinking deeply)
No
BARBIE
What I’m trying to say is… Perhaps we should go our own ways for a while - but just for a while of course
G.I. JOE
Of course – I get it!
BARBIE
(relieved)
Whew! You do?
G.I. JOE
D’ya think I’m stoopid or something? Of course I understand!
BARBIE
You’ll always be a friend, G.I. and even though we may be apart, you’ll be close in my heart
G.I. JOE
You wanna go shopping by yourself. Right? I mean, I could drive you if you want but I’ll wait outside. That’s okay. I won’t go in with you and force them to serve you first if that’s what you want. I’ll just wait outside in my tank on guard ‘til you’re finished
BARBIE
(whistfully)
Oh G.I. That’s not exactly what I had in mind
G.I. JOE
So you want me to go in and help you choose clothes like always?
BARBIE
Not! Look G.I. – let me make this so you understand. Sometimes two people who’ve known each other for a long time like us…
G.I. JOE
Yeah – we been friends since we were kids and I got my first weapon. Remember? I used to walk you home and nobody would bother you when I’m around. No-one!
BARBIE
That’s exactly what I mean, G.I.!
G.I. JOE
You want me to walk you home, again? I could y’know! All you gotta do is ask! We could hold hands and skip…
BARBIE
(frustrated)
No G.I. I don’t need you to walk me home anymore! In fact I don’t need you! That’s the point!
G.I. JOE
I don’t get it
BARBIE
That’s the problem in a nutshell!
G.I. JOE
(lost in thought)
You want I should crack open some nuts for you? I mean, that’s weird but look – if my Barbie wants nuts…
BARBIE
(to herself)
…don’t finish that sentence, Barbie… Here’s it is. Plain and simple. We have to stop seeing each other
G.I. JOE
You want I should close my eyes?
BARBIE
(very frustrated)
No G.I. I want you and me to take a rest from each other!
G.I. JOE
You mean…
BARBIE
You go your way and I’ll go mine
G.I. JOE
Oh. So… It’s…him, isn’t it?
(points at the still unconscious BLAIN)
G.I. JOE
First it’s Ken and now this…this…surfer dude is trying to steal you away from me!
(BLAIN stirs and lifts his head)
BLAIN
Daddy? I wanna go surfing!
G.I. JOE
Well… He’s gonna have to fight me for you. (does karate chops in the air) My hands are a lethal weapon, y’know!
BARBIE
I know – oh how I know!
G.I. JOE
Where’s my weapon…
BARBIE
Please – no more violence. That’s the problem, G.I. That’s your way of handling everything
G.I. JOE
Hey! A soldier hast’a do what a soldier…
BARBIE
…hast’a do. I know. Go! Please leave – now –before things get out of hand, again
G.I. JOE
(pulling up BLAIN by the hair)
Hey – you! Surfer dude! You ain’t gonna get my Barbie without a fight! Got that?
(G.I. JOE drops BLAIN’s head, which falls on to the ground)
BLAIN
‘Mary had a little lamb…little lamb…little lamb…’
G.I. JOE
See Barbie? He’s a sissy, through-and-through. Who’s Mary? Your girl-friend, sissy-boy? Well – I’m off
BARBIE
That’s the truest thing you’ve said in a long time
G.I. JOE
I’m gonna prepare to defend your honor.
BARBIE
No – please! I don’t want that…
G.I. JOE
Sorry babe but a soldier has’ta…
BARBIE
…been there, heard that
(a familiar voice suddenly breaks the tension)
KEN
Hi-dee-hi-and ho-di-ho, people. Never fear - your Ken is near
BARBIE
Oh gawd! Just what I need now
(Question du Jour: With Ken’s arrival, will the situation become even more complicated than it is? Will Ken take sides and if so, who will he support: his old “friend” or a fellow surfer?)
©Eleanor Tylbor, 2007
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By: Rebecca,
on 6/13/2007
Blog: OUPblog (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: blog, book, Literature, oxford, class, classic, discussion, excerpt, A-Featured, Prose, club, tess, durbervilles, lord, Add a tag
By Rebecca OUP-US
To get you all excited about June’s Book Club pick, Tess of The D’Urbervilles, I decided to excerpt the first page. An important revelation is made that affects Tess throughout the whole book. So stop procrastinating and go read!
On an evening in the latter part of May a middle-aged man was walking homeward from Shaston to the village of Marlott, in the adjoining Vale of Blakemore or Blackmoor. The pair of legs that carried him were rickety, and there was a bias in his gait which inclined him somewhat to the left of a straight line.
0 Comments on Oxford World’s Classics Book Club: Tess of The D’Urbervilles as of 1/1/1990
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By: scriberess,
on 5/29/2007
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: plastic dolls, Blain, surfer, bandaid, life, story, humor, Australia, entertainment, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, Barbie, plastic dolls, Blain, Ken, bandaid, surfer, Barbie, entertainment, Ken, G.I. Joe, Plasticville, Add a tag
BARBIE, KEN AND THE REST IN PLASTICVILLE
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
By Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: Having revived BLAIN, the Australian surfer dude and love of BARBIE’s life, G.I. JOE has asked BARBIE about the geographical location of Australia
(The continuing story about life among the plastic people)
By Eleanor Tylbor
SCENE: Having revived BLAIN, the Australian surfer dude and love of BARBIE’s life, G.I. JOE has asked BARBIE about the geographical location of Australia
BARBIE
What are you trying to tell me, G.I.?
G.I. JOE
Hey! Is that the place where them there giant jumping mice live? ‘Cause if it is – I can get some of my men together and we can go hunt them down and…
BARBIE
Like…pleeze, G.I.! Is that all you care about? Killing and maiming? You are so violent!
G.I. JOE
Thank you. I know. Gawd I love it when you use those big words. You’re so smart, babe!
(BARBIE attempts to cradle BLAIN’s plastic head but it continually slips out of her inflexible hands and she ends up dropping his head on the ground)
BARBIE
Like…I’m soooo sorry. Blain? Are you okay, baby?
BLAIN
(mumbling)
Wha’? Hear? Surf’s up! Where’s my board…get my board please, mummy
BARBIE
Oh Blain…honey! It’s me, your Barbie doll!
BLAIN
Mummy? I have a boo-boo on my head. It hurts baaaaad
G.I. JOE
I dunno, babe! Sounds suspish..sustik… Could be an enemy. Better frisk him…
BLAIN
(dazed)
Daddy? Is that you?
G.I. JOE
Hey! I ain’t your dad! I’m a soldier and don’t you forget it. Ten-shun!
BLAIN
I see pretty stars floating in front of my eyes. Do you see them too? Let’s catch one
G.I. JOE
Stars? Oh…you mean the stars on this here u-ni-form I’m wearing! Wanna know what they’re for? See…this here one…
BLAIN
Twinkle, twinkle little staaaarrrr…how I wonder where you arrrrre…
G.I. JOE
…is for foldin’ my clothes nicely and this here one is…
BLAIN
…high above the earth so high…
G.I. JOE
…I got for brushin’ my teeth three times a day…
BARBIE
We have to get Blain to a hospital!
G.I. JOE
Hospital? We don’t need no hospital. See this here badge? I got that for First Aid. Your G.I. Joe can fix his boo-boo, lickety-split. Even faster than that
BARBIE
Like…don’t think I don’t appreciate the offer but I think my sweetie here…I mean to say, Blain here, needs a real hospital where real doctors…
G.I. JOE
Hey! Whad’ya mean, ‘real doctors’? They don’t give these here badgers…
BARBIE
…badges…
G.I. JOE
Huh? That’s what I said
BARBIE
Like…you said, BADGERS
G.I. JOE
Yeah. Badgers.
BARBIE
They’re B-A-D-G-E-S
G.I. JOE
Badgers…badges. What’s the difference?
BARBIE
A lot. One is an animal and the other is a… Why am I bothering to explain?
(G.I. JOE checks in a pocket and produces a band aid)
G.I. JOE
(Cont’d.) Here it is! I knew I had one on me…it’s a little old but it’s still good. So where’s the cut?
BARBIE
Um… Why don’t you talk with the doctors…just to make sure of course that they know what they’re doing? Here – let’s use my cell phone to call
(KEN suddenly walks out of the woods, running towards BARBIE and G.I. JOE, holding a surf board)
KEN
Hey Barbie! Surf’s up! Grab your…
BLAIN
(groggy)
Surf…gotta surf…
G.I. JOE
At ease, soldier! You’re in no state to surf. Here – lemme put this here band aid on your boo-boo…
KEN
Oh? Who do we have here? Blain? You whale scum! Shark doo-doo…
BARBIE
Um…Ken. Can you keep that for after? G.I. Joe here, like…got a little excited and like…hit him on the head with plastic bullets
KEN
You mean…Blain here is hurt? Oh my poor ba-by boy!. I mean, the idiot. He should be in a hospital getting proper care
G.I. JOE
Hey! He is getting cared for by me! I know all about fixin’ boo-boos!
KEN
(staring at him for ten seconds)
We can transport him to a hospital on my surf board. Now you take his arms Barbie, and I’ll take his legs…
(BARBIE and KEN attempt to bend over and grasp BLAIN’s legs and arms without success. As BARBIE picks up his arms, KEN drops his legs and vice-versa)
G.I. JOE
Here – let a soldier show you how it’s done
(G.I. JOE grabs BLAIN’s arms and attempts to throw him over his soldier but misses. BLAIN is propelled over G.I. JOE’s soldier, screaming all the while)
G.I. JOE
Whooops…
(to be continued)
Question du jour: will BLAIN receive the necessary medical help he requires?
©Eleanor Tylbor, 2007
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