As Roseanne Roseannadanna used to say, "it's always something."

Sometimes you write a play and although it seems like it has good-bordering-on-great possibilities, it languishes in the maybe-some-day file. The play at issue, "The Lemon", focuses on the trials and tribulations of a woman attempting to get help to remove her car, a "lemon"  stalled in a busy intersection blocking traffic.

A 15-minute comedy play-ette as I like to call my short but sweet stories, it has been tinkered with over the years including modifications to strengthen the flow of dialogue. The saga involves the use of a public pay phone and therein lies the problem.

In order to make my plays relevant, frequent updates are done, however - as frequently mentioned in my blogs, it's always the 'howevers' that get you in the end - this is a situation requiring a reappraisal of its viability.

Public pay phones are becoming a rarity and according to Wikipedia, "since 2007, the number of payphones in the United States in operation has declined by 48%. In July 2009, AT&T officially stopped supporting the Public Payphone service. Over 139,000 locations were sold in 2009."

In this play-ette, the main character (Penny) is attempting to convince the user of the pay phone to allow her to arrange for her "lemon" to be towed to a garage since her cell phone is dead. Here's what I mean:

PENNY
I don't believe this! How many more things can go wrong, today?

SOUND: car horns. PENNY looks off into the distance and makes an obscene gesture with hand

(cont'd. PENNY)  'Blow it out your nose, idiots! You'll get more out of that!' I don't believe it. Get a new cell phone and forget to charge it.

(aside to female in phone booth)

PENNY (owner of car/lemon)

Been adding to "Seeds" although not as often as I like or should. Progress is dependent upon sudden brain storms or those rare but very welcome "eureka!" moments that give clarification to the story line.

Somehow, and after reading over what currently exists, there seems to be - at least in my mind - that the direction the play is taking, is too predictable bordering on blech. The subject, an accidental meeting of two people in a park, one of whom seems to have what could be classified an unusual gravitation to pigeons, is interesting. However - as mentioned numerous times in this blog, it's always the 'howevers' in life that get you - it's too ordinary and needed a shake-up. So...

A new character has been added. Elwood P. Dowd had his rabbit, Harvey, and now Sylvia Perkins has joined his league with her friend of a feather, Mr. Bird, a pigeon.

Following yet another run in with Hal, a  park supervisor, who wants to maintain cleanliness and limit the appearance of pigeon poo in his territory, Julie feels a moral responsibility to help Sylvia. The two return to Julie's apartment and at the mention of the word "bath" and a failed attempt to remove Sylvia's weather-worn rain coat, Mr. Bird suddenly puts in an appearance, in a manner of speaking.  Maybe it'll work and maybe it won't - hav'ta see where this will take me, if anywhere.

Yet another snippet of dialogue from "Seeds." Julie attempts to convince Sylvia to stay for supper and warm up

In recognition of the up-coming U.S. Thanksgiving holiday.

Still making progress with "Seeds" but there are signs of a slow down, which is par for the course. It's the point where that distressing word, "blocked" begins to seep through  the conscious writing areas of my brain  and plant doubts like, "maybe the story line isn't strong enough" or plant questions that include "do you know where you're going with this?"

Rather than plug away and continue to write as is suggested in writing manuals and advocated by writing professionals, I use this as a time for reflection. Translation: time to take a rest and think about stuff. Important stuff like an analysis of the characters names and whether they match their personalities. The issue of  "Hal" the latest character addition, is on the analysis block. Initially, Hal was "Chuck" and before that he assumed the temporary name of "Steve." Not that there's anything wrong with any of the above-mentioned names but the names had to have a certain mental image to match the dialogue.

The female characters are also under scrutiny including "Sylvia" who was one of the two players in the original short version of "Seeds" Assessing her character strength and longevity involved walks around the neighborhood repeating her name to decide if the name suited her personality. Did receive some suspicious looks from passer-bys but that's goes with the play writing territory. Somehow, "Julie", was never in question and seemed right - so far.

At present I'm thinking as to whether should there be a head pigeon leading the park pigeons into a rebellion and if so, whether she/he should have a name. Further thoughts require a deep study into a strong pigeon name. Perhaps "Mac" or "Xena"..."Sunny" and whether the pigeons should have the ability to communicate to their humans in English or stick strictly to their well-known, "brrpps."

It's always a good thing to have one's writing priorities in the right place.

My muse paid me a visit this week and it's about time, too. It's been somewhat of a dry spell pursuing the continuing story of Julie, the park jogger, and her chance meeting with Sylvia, the ultimate pigeon lover. The story is slowly developing in an on-again, off-again fashion.

Yet another snippet:

An encounter with Hal the park supervisor, warns Sylvia that more significant steps will be taken if she refuses to cease and desist the feeding of her feathered friends.

 

Been adding dialogue and fleshing out the characters in the extended version of "Pigeon Feed" a.k.a. For the Birds. Always amazed while in the writing process, how some plays (few and far between) write themselves and the characters almost dictate the direction they should take.

Meanwhile, here is a snippet from the opening of the play. The best way to describe it would be a comedy/drama, in that as in life, there are elements of comedy mixed with drama. Formatting is strictly to share this piece from the play.

And so, the playwright, after many (many) re-writes of her play, ponders the next move assisted by the play characters who have a big invested interest in her decision.

SCENE:    Writing desk with computer set-up. Large coffee mug nearby

AT RISE:  Playwright sits in front of computer staring at screen,  evaluating if/and or what changes are required to play


PLAYWRIGHT
I dunno. Somehow, something doesn't feel right... Maybe I should just delete this play altogether

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
Say what? You've been re-working this play for how many years and now you want to erase all traces of us as if we never existed? What did we ever do to you?

PLAYWRIGHT
That's the thing. You haven't done anything to me or for me

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
And that's our fault? Let's not forget who created us in the first place

MALE CHARACTER
May I interject?

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
It's never stopped you before. Go for it

MALE CHARACTER
Seems to me that she hasn't really created a viable outline, which could offer a direction to follow. We all need guidance, a path that will lead us to enlightenment

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
Oh do tell. And what, if anything, have you contributed in helping her along, other than your bon mots and trite writing quotations

MALE CHARACTER
Officially, I don't exist having been eliminated in the last edit but hope springs eternal that I shall be resurrected in a future story line. After all, I am the only male character and the romantic lead

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
Don't be so sure. Given the amount of times the story line has changed, you could just as easily be converted into a female role

MALE CHARACTER
Actually...thinking back...two months ago I assumed the role of Prince

FEMALE CHARACTER
A prince? I don't remember any plot involving royal characters

MALE CHARACTER
Nothing so regal. Prince was a blood hound in her attempt at writing a dinner murder mystery...

PLAYWRIGHT
...which ended up going nowhere. Maybe this just isn't going to work. Maybe...I should forget about this play, altogether.

FEMALE CHARACTER
Don't be so quick to give up!

FEMALE CHARACTER 2
Absolutely! You're on to something! This re-write will be the one. Hang in there

PLAYWRIGHT
It seems that I'm in a constant state of re-writes. Sometimes you have to see the writing on the wall and call it a day

MALE CHARACTER
Have you sent out the latest version of the play to theatres?

PLAYWRIGHT
Yup. Never heard back, as usual. It's getting to the point where I'm questioning whether I have any ability in writing plays. Perhaps it's just hopeful dreaming. Why go on in the face of reality that the odds of my play being produced are probably a gazillion to one, given the number of playwrights who are doing the exact same thing

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
Don't forget that one of your plays did have a reading. That means something

PLAYWRIGHT
But it's still not the same as a full production in a theatre with an audience.

MALE CHARACTER
You're not serious about - you know - that ominous delete button...it was merely a momentary feeling of weakness. Right? You wouldn't do that to us.

FEMALE CHARACTER 1
We're here for you! Hang in there! Our future depends on it, in the true sense of the word

PLAYWRIGHT
Could I abandon you all after all these years, members of my literary family?

MALE CHARACTER
Far be it for me to ask a favor at this point but would you, perhaps, consider re--writing the Prince character? I mean, if it's possible. Barks, growls and tail wagging aren't among my best traits.

PLAYWRIGHT
Thing is...this play really has possibilities. It has all the essential elements that make it entertaining. Maybe a few changes and edits here and there before sending it out to make its way in the theatre world. Right?

ALL PLAY CHARACTERS:
We're with you all the way, girl!

PLAYWRIGHT
Maybe just this one more theatre...or two...three at the most

It's been an on-off situation but there has been some advancement in re-writing "Old Soldiers." The characters, first introduced in a short story a while ago, caught my imagination and over the years the quartet of senior service veterans have participated in many theatrical scenarios. However - it's always the 'howevers' in life that get you - somehow there has been a lack of direction as to how their story should play out.

The necessity or impetus for turning it into a play was to enter it the BBC International Radio Playwriting Competition a few years ago. The undertaking was made even more challenging since the medium of radio requires sound effects to accompany the dialogue, in place of visual movement. It was a challenge and in spite of a successful conversion, the play didn't win or receive recognition. Still, when it's all said and done or written, it was an interesting pursuit but probably something I will pass on in the future.

My philosophy in as far as rejections are concerned is to moan/groan and agonize the reason for them not recognizing genius when they read it, following which to forget about it for a while. This allows time for introspection and objectivity upon re-reading the play in preparation for the editing process.

To this end, some decisions have or are in the process of being made as to the story line. In the original version submitted to the BBC competition, there were physical transitions to various locales, which were plausible given the medium, whereas the story now takes place in one place being the pub or bar for the entire play.

- in the initial short story,  the main character, Joe McKenna had a dog, which has been added in the updated version - so far. The rationale behind including a dog is that as a lonely, elderly and cantankerous service veteran, the dog would be his reason for his existence.
- although most of the original characters remain, a few newcomers are joining the quartet: a food/drink inspector who comes to do a regular inspection of the bar premises, a small group of young punks who take an dislike to the old soldiers, especially Joe

Here is an abbreviated version of the synopsis, which supplies some background on the characters:

"As an ex-army man and soldier, eighty-eight year old Joe McKenna is a man of habit. A widower, he lives in a small apartment with his only companion, a 12 year old dog, Daisy. The aging process is taking its toll physically and emotionally, turning him into a bitter man full of resentment towards society and what he perceives to be life’s injustices. He is a lonely soul with too much time to think about the past and knowing that the future will leave him dependent on the kindness of others.

As shared in this blog many times before, this started out as a short story, which touched something deep in my writer's soul for lack of a better way to describe it. Over the years...many years and many re-writes, it evolved into a radio play that was entered and subsequently didn't win or even place, in the BBC International Playwriting competition and then back to a play. In spite of many attempts at 'putting it to bed' permanently, somehow, it always calls me back. Maybe there's a message there or perhaps merely wishful thinking on my part. It's still a work in progress.

Be that as it may...here is the latest edit . Changed the venue of the story to one place and gave Joe McKenna a dog. Characters are basically the same but adding a few more as the story develops.  Note that there is more spacing than normal to make reading easier.

In the way of background information, Joe McKenna is a crusty, old curmudgeon who lives with and for his dog, Daisy. A few times per week, he and his army buddies drop by the local bar to talk about old times, re-live past glories and complain about their aches and pains.