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Hey fellow SFGers!

I am SUPER thrilled to be a part of this fantastic show in Paris! If any of you are in the area (lucky!) be sure to check it out! If not, then at least check out the works online : D

Thursday, September 15 · 7:00pm - 10:00pm

LA FLAQ GALLERY
36 rue Quincampoix ( 75004 )
Paris, France

Facebook Event Invite
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=260287763981520

www.daisychurch.com

What can I say except, “I survived third semester, and all I got was this lousy underarm chafing from sweating so damn much and having to work in deadly heat all day for six days straight.” 

Actually I got out of it easy. The majority of the the teachers, including Becky, got sick from the heat during the week. Anyway, the stupid, pointless and much-loathed “Third Semester: English Camp” is now over, but I made sure it wasn’t a total loss. I did make a splash (oy, bad joke). 

Because it is so hot I started a tradition last year of including water in my third semester class. Last year I brought a water gun to class and anyone who did not participate, or got the wrong answer during trivia, or complained, or generally annoyed me, got squirted. This year it was water balloons. I played a game at the end of class that had absolutely nothing to do with English and was only about how soaked I could make a few students. But on the last day a lot of students were going directly to the bus to go home after class, so I didn’t want to get them wet. I turned the game around and let the winning team of students try to soak me. They were very hesitant to do so (the whole teacher respect thing) but they eventually gleefully got into it. I retaliated a little but only at their feet. It was fun and a student hiding in the doorway got some pictures for me. 

Luckily third semester has now been cancelled for future school years, so my tradition was short lived. 

Poster design in honor of the 30th anniversary of Namco's classic 8-bit game Pac-Man.

Sevensheaven images and prints are for sale at sevensheaven.nl

So you thought you used to play 2D games. If you had taken a look behind the screen, then you'd have seen this. The featured game is SWIV from Storm, a 16-bit platform game for the Commodore Amiga, released in 1991.

You're invited to Sevensheaven.nl for an extended impression.

So it seems the book is a wee bit late in getting where it's supposed to get - which admittedly sucks.

However we're going to take this lemon and make ourselves a little lemonade!

Sound good? Of course it sounds good.

The delay give you yet another chance to get something free.

What I want you to do is keep an eye on - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/

You know, go there every few hours search for me, or the the title, or whatever and the minute the book pops up copy and paste the link then drop it in an email and send it to me at - [email protected]

The first email I get with a valid link not only gets the book for free, but gets it autographed as well.

If that's not some sugary, tangy, delicious lemonade I don't know what is.

If you're too lazy to do any of this, no worries. I will undoubtedly be bombarding you with messages of some sort the moment the book arrives.

Alternative box cover design for the Hoi Amiga game from 1992, executed in a minimalistic 1960s style.

More at Sevensheaven.nl

If you’re like most people, you’ve had many different hobbies in your life. Some of them were athletic, some were intellectual, and others are probably best left unsaid. But if you’re like me, you’ve probably come to notice that nearly any hobby you might choose suffers from one critical weakness:

The presence of other people always screws them up. 

It doesn’t matter if you are hiking, rock climbing, playing Axis and Allies, or what.  If it involves other people, there is always at least one idiot who won’t take it seriously, or always has to ‘win’, or for some reason or other makes you want to kick their head in. In relationships this is true as well, but that’s another article.

So anyway, it’s 2009, and the problem of finding good entertainment is worse than ever. We’re in a depression, and can’t afford anything fun. Doing things outside is dicey, since a lot of us live in areas where the weather is terrible most of the time, and even when the weather is good, people on the street will beat you senseless and rob you. Not because those people need the money, but because it’s like saying hello – at least here in Wilmington, and where you live probably isn’t too much different. 

It’s hell. So under circumstances like this, what do you do to entertain yourself that is safe, cheap, and involves as little human interaction as possible?

Why, there’s only one thing you can do… go back to your roots, acquire a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons, and play it by yourself!

Why is this Hobby Awesome?

1. Every guy with even the slightest bit of imagination, deep inside, loves the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you don’t like fantasy, you get to kill things, take their crap, and face no consequences. Even most women would like the experience if they really gave it a try. Well, probably not. Screw them.

2. Rolling dice, writing stuff down, and having some interest in doing so will take you back in time if you’re over 30. You’ll feel like you’re 11 again. If you’re under 30 and have spent some time being broke, it might do the same.

3. You’ll get to use your imagination, which does not get exercised at all by computer games (except for roguelikes which you also need to play, if you haven’t already). With a pen and paper experience, you can picture the damp, dark hallways and imagine the groups confusion when surprised by some giant, nasty beastie. If you want to get all nerdy about it, you can even maintain a history of what your individual characters accomplish, so that they get some depth over time and take on some life.

4. It’s free and you can do it anywhere as long as you have a flat surface and your materials. You don’t even need electricity. As long as you have light, you can do it in a basement while drinking tea, for chrissake. Any hobby which can be performed in a basement with a cup of tea next to you is Win.

Why wouldn’t I want to tell anyone that I do this?

1. It’s Dungeons and Dragons, and you’re probably a reasonably functioning adult. You not only will get laughed at, you will also become re-acquainted with another activity that you indulged in as a kid – getting your ass kicked by people who are bigger than you are. And that’s just the men… all that is nothing compared to how girls will treat you.

2. It’s an activity which is designed for more than one person, and you’re doing it by yourself. Something like that never looks good. Does having a tea party by yourself look good? Does playing football by yourself look good? No, it doesn’t. So stay quiet.

3. You’re going to be playing a version of Dungeons and Dragons which went out of print about 20 years ago (I’ll get into why later). It means that even game nerds, who are on the absolute bottom of the social totem pole, will spit on you because they will not consider you to be relevant.

Wow! Playing a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons by myself sounds Awesome as long as I don’t tell anyone! How do I do it?

You need the following materials:

First Edition D&D Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide, and Monster Manual (All available on E-Bay for about $40 total)

Dice which have the following number of sides: (4, 6 (get 3 of them), 8, 10 (get 2 of these), 12, and 20). They should be available at your local gaming store for about $5 total. Yes, they still have gaming stores if you look. They’re like peep shows… the people who have that need, know where to go to fulfill it. And just like peep shows, you’ll see a lot of awkward, pasty looking men scuttling out of the front door with brown paper bags under their arms. Don’t look anyone in the eye.

A table, a pencil, some paper, and a room where you can be sure that no one will walk in on you. Wherever you go to look at porn is probably the ideal place for something like this, too.

Some randomly generated dungeons which can be found at http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/. The resulting dungeons are created for a rule set which is much newer than yours will be, but it’s easy enough to create house rules on any monsters/experience points which are not covered specifically in the dungeon descriptions. Commercial dungeons made for solo adventures are also OK, but there aren’t many of them and a disproportionate amount of them suck.

A critical hit table which can be found here:http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/vinifera/critical_hit_table_2e.pdf . What that will do is, if an attack against a monster (or against you) is really, really successful, it can result in an arm being sliced off or something – which adds to the flavor big time.

Then play away, Dungeon Master! Don’t read the room descriptions, just move around the map and read each description as you enter. If a room contains a secret door or hidden treasure, roll a 6 sided die for every party member – if you roll a one, the door or treasure is detected. Create groups of at least 8 characters, because with bad luck and critical hits, the mortality rate will be high.

Warnings

Dungeons and Dragons has a lame reputation for a reason. If there is anything you take from all this, read the following and be sure to remember it well!

First of all, I am not talking about playing D&D in a group. Do not finish this article then run out and join the first pack of neckbeards that you can find. You will suffer, and everyone around you will suffer, and the most tragic aspect of it all will be that it could have been avoided.

Let me explain:

D&D was originally based on miniature war gaming. When it was first conceived of, play was 99% built around the idea that you go into some dark hole, indiscriminately kill monsters who are all ugly and all bad, become more skilled, then crawl into another dark hole to apply what you learned in the last one. Simple, right? It’s more than simple, it’s Awesome. In fact, everything should work like that. Life would be much shorter, but it would be interesting and have some sort of meaning.

However, over time, the group game evolved away from that idea. Nowadays, the average D&D player is even more poorly adjusted to society than I am. They don’t like fighting monsters unless the odds overwhelmingly favor them. They throw fits if their characters die, and worst of all, they enjoy going into imaginary towns and posturing in front of imaginary villagers. This causes conversations that are so lame, so ridiculous, that they defy description. For example, once in a while you’ll get some guy who wants his character to get laid, so he sits in a tavern and tries and get with some buxom tavern wench who is, of course, being played by a another neckbeard who is sitting on the other side of the table behind a cardboard screen. Neither the person playing the male character or the one playing the buxom wench has any experience with women and dating. The banter at the table goes like this:

Keith: “OK Seth, so you go into a tavern and sit down. This girl comes over to you and she’s got really big boobs and long black hair… ummm… and she stands close to you and she’s like, ‘Hey’.”

Seth: “What’s her comeliness?”

The crackling sound of rolling dice issues from behind the cardboard screen. I am seated at the middle of the table between the two neckbeards and look down at my hands with a grim expression, since I know how this story will end. I set my lips into a tight line and begin using the dice in front of me to build little towers, in an effort to ignore the conversation.

Keith: “15. No, she’s hotter than that, like 16, 17.”

Seth (blushing): “Dayummmmmm! Hehehehe. OK, so I say ‘hey’.”

Keith (as Buxom Wench): “Hey… ummm… you’re really hot. What’s your name?”

Seth (in his deepest voice): “I am Lord Comforter, prince of Down and hero of Qwertyuiop, and I am at your service!

Seth again: “Hey Keith, I like, lean over and press up against her boob to let her know I like her.”

Keith (giggling and blushing): “OK. So she presses back and leans over so you can see down her dress and then she’s like, ermm… That’s a big sword you have there. Do you have any other.. ummmmmmmmmm…. weapons?”

Seth (flustered): “Well, I have this bow and erm, a magical war hammer, and ermmmmm… ”

Keith (blushing so hard that he can barely talk): “No, Seth, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant it like…”

The conversation is broken by the sound of breaking glass. I have just smashed a bottle on the edge of the table, and am waving the jagged end at the other players with a wild gleam in my eye. Again.

Me: “For the love of God… that’s enough. Stop. OK? You need to stop. I will kill you both!”

10% of group Dungeons and Dragons is enjoyable. The rest consists of interactions just like that and you will end them just like I do, by threatening to kill people and being 100% serious about it. Where I’m going with all this is that while playing on your own is awesome, playing in a group is not the same experience.

Second, I am not talking about playing a new version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know you’re by yourself, but show some self-respect and play like a man. You want an old as hell version, with rudimentary character classes, rules that are simple and written by guys who would have done so for free, and no character motivation other than a desire to clean out random dungeons, kill stuff, and get more powerful. It’s that, or it’s nothing at all. Role playing and using exotic characters smacks of having a tea party with dolls, and you will have none of it if you want to have a Socially Frowned Upon hobby that is Awesome and not one that sucks.

So that’s it. You are now ready to play a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons in the most Awesome way possible – one that involves no kind of interaction at all with other people. Now get out there, cover a table with weird looking dice, homemade character sheets, and some crude rulebooks that are at least 25 years old, and get to it! 

And don’t tell anyone.

If you’re like most people, you’ve had many different hobbies in your life. Some of them were athletic, some were intellectual, and others are probably best left unsaid. But if you’re like me, you’ve probably come to notice that nearly any hobby you might choose suffers from one critical weakness:

The presence of other people always screws them up. 

It doesn’t matter if you are hiking, rock climbing, playing Axis and Allies, or what.  If it involves other people, there is always at least one idiot who won’t take it seriously, or always has to ‘win’, or for some reason or other makes you want to kick their head in. In relationships this is true as well, but that’s another article.

So anyway, it’s 2009, and the problem of finding good entertainment is worse than ever. We’re in a depression, and can’t afford anything fun. Doing things outside is dicey, since a lot of us live in areas where the weather is terrible most of the time, and even when the weather is good, people on the street will beat you senseless and rob you. Not because those people need the money, but because it’s like saying hello – at least here in Wilmington, and where you live probably isn’t too much different. 

It’s hell. So under circumstances like this, what do you do to entertain yourself that is safe, cheap, and involves as little human interaction as possible?

Why, there’s only one thing you can do… go back to your roots, acquire a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons, and play it by yourself!

Why is this Hobby Awesome?

1. Every guy with even the slightest bit of imagination, deep inside, loves the concept of Dungeons and Dragons. Even if you don’t like fantasy, you get to kill things, take their crap, and face no consequences. Even most women would like the experience if they really gave it a try. Well, probably not. Screw them.

2. Rolling dice, writing stuff down, and having some interest in doing so will take you back in time if you’re over 30. You’ll feel like you’re 11 again. If you’re under 30 and have spent some time being broke, it might do the same.

3. You’ll get to use your imagination, which does not get exercised at all by computer games (except for roguelikes which you also need to play, if you haven’t already). With a pen and paper experience, you can picture the damp, dark hallways and imagine the groups confusion when surprised by some giant, nasty beastie. If you want to get all nerdy about it, you can even maintain a history of what your individual characters accomplish, so that they get some depth over time and take on some life.

4. It’s free and you can do it anywhere as long as you have a flat surface and your materials. You don’t even need electricity. As long as you have light, you can do it in a basement while drinking tea, for chrissake. Any hobby which can be performed in a basement with a cup of tea next to you is Win.

Why wouldn’t I want to tell anyone that I do this?

1. It’s Dungeons and Dragons, and you’re probably a reasonably functioning adult. You not only will get laughed at, you will also become re-acquainted with another activity that you indulged in as a kid – getting your ass kicked by people who are bigger than you are. And that’s just the men… all that is nothing compared to how girls will treat you.

2. It’s an activity which is designed for more than one person, and you’re doing it by yourself. Something like that never looks good. Does having a tea party by yourself look good? Does playing football by yourself look good? No, it doesn’t. So stay quiet.

3. You’re going to be playing a version of Dungeons and Dragons which went out of print about 20 years ago (I’ll get into why later). It means that even game nerds, who are on the absolute bottom of the social totem pole, will spit on you because they will not consider you to be relevant.

Wow! Playing a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons by myself sounds Awesome as long as I don’t tell anyone! How do I do it?

You need the following materials:

First Edition D&D Players Handbook, Dungeon Masters Guide, and Monster Manual (All available on E-Bay for about $40 total)

Dice which have the following number of sides: (4, 6 (get 3 of them), 8, 10 (get 2 of these), 12, and 20). They should be available at your local gaming store for about $5 total. Yes, they still have gaming stores if you look. They’re like peep shows… the people who have that need, know where to go to fulfill it. And just like peep shows, you’ll see a lot of awkward, pasty looking men scuttling out of the front door with brown paper bags under their arms. Don’t look anyone in the eye.

A table, a pencil, some paper, and a room where you can be sure that no one will walk in on you. Wherever you go to look at porn is probably the ideal place for something like this, too.

Some randomly generated dungeons which can be found at http://donjon.bin.sh/d20/dungeon/. The resulting dungeons are created for a rule set which is much newer than yours will be, but it’s easy enough to create house rules on any monsters/experience points which are not covered specifically in the dungeon descriptions. Commercial dungeons made for solo adventures are also OK, but there aren’t many of them and a disproportionate amount of them suck.

A critical hit table which can be found here:http://www.angelfire.com/dragon3/vinifera/critical_hit_table_2e.pdf . What that will do is, if an attack against a monster (or against you) is really, really successful, it can result in an arm being sliced off or something – which adds to the flavor big time.

Then play away, Dungeon Master! Don’t read the room descriptions, just move around the map and read each description as you enter. If a room contains a secret door or hidden treasure, roll a 6 sided die for every party member – if you roll a one, the door or treasure is detected. Create groups of at least 8 characters, because with bad luck and critical hits, the mortality rate will be high.

Warnings

Dungeons and Dragons has a lame reputation for a reason. If there is anything you take from all this, read the following and be sure to remember it well!

First of all, I am not talking about playing D&D in a group. Do not finish this article then run out and join the first pack of neckbeards that you can find. You will suffer, and everyone around you will suffer, and the most tragic aspect of it all will be that it could have been avoided.

Let me explain:

D&D was originally based on miniature war gaming. When it was first conceived of, play was 99% built around the idea that you go into some dark hole, indiscriminately kill monsters who are all ugly and all bad, become more skilled, then crawl into another dark hole to apply what you learned in the last one. Simple, right? It’s more than simple, it’s Awesome. In fact, everything should work like that. Life would be much shorter, but it would be interesting and have some sort of meaning.

However, over time, the group game evolved away from that idea. Nowadays, the average D&D player is even more poorly adjusted to society than I am. They don’t like fighting monsters unless the odds overwhelmingly favor them. They throw fits if their characters die, and worst of all, they enjoy going into imaginary towns and posturing in front of imaginary villagers. This causes conversations that are so lame, so ridiculous, that they defy description. For example, once in a while you’ll get some guy who wants his character to get laid, so he sits in a tavern and tries and get with some buxom tavern wench who is, of course, being played by a another neckbeard who is sitting on the other side of the table behind a cardboard screen. Neither the person playing the male character or the one playing the buxom wench has any experience with women and dating. The banter at the table goes like this:

Keith: “OK Seth, so you go into a tavern and sit down. This girl comes over to you and she’s got really big boobs and long black hair… ummm… and she stands close to you and she’s like, ‘Hey’.”

Seth: “What’s her comeliness?”

The crackling sound of rolling dice issues from behind the cardboard screen. I am seated at the middle of the table between the two neckbeards and look down at my hands with a grim expression, since I know how this story will end. I set my lips into a tight line and begin using the dice in front of me to build little towers, in an effort to ignore the conversation.

Keith: “15. No, she’s hotter than that, like 16, 17.”

Seth (blushing): “Dayummmmmm! Hehehehe. OK, so I say ‘hey’.”

Keith (as Buxom Wench): “Hey… ummm… you’re really hot. What’s your name?”

Seth (in his deepest voice): “I am Lord Comforter, prince of Down and hero of Qwertyuiop, and I am at your service!

Seth again: “Hey Keith, I like, lean over and press up against her boob to let her know I like her.”

Keith (giggling and blushing): “OK. So she presses back and leans over so you can see down her dress and then she’s like, ermm… That’s a big sword you have there. Do you have any other.. ummmmmmmmmm…. weapons?”

Seth (flustered): “Well, I have this bow and erm, a magical war hammer, and ermmmmm… ”

Keith (blushing so hard that he can barely talk): “No, Seth, she didn’t mean it like that. She meant it like…”

The conversation is broken by the sound of breaking glass. I have just smashed a bottle on the edge of the table, and am waving the jagged end at the other players with a wild gleam in my eye. Again.

Me: “For the love of God… that’s enough. Stop. OK? You need to stop. I will kill you both!”

10% of group Dungeons and Dragons is enjoyable. The rest consists of interactions just like that and you will end them just like I do, by threatening to kill people and being 100% serious about it. Where I’m going with all this is that while playing on your own is awesome, playing in a group is not the same experience.

Second, I am not talking about playing a new version of Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know you’re by yourself, but show some self-respect and play like a man. You want an old as hell version, with rudimentary character classes, rules that are simple and written by guys who would have done so for free, and no character motivation other than a desire to clean out random dungeons, kill stuff, and get more powerful. It’s that, or it’s nothing at all. Role playing and using exotic characters smacks of having a tea party with dolls, and you will have none of it if you want to have a Socially Frowned Upon hobby that is Awesome and not one that sucks.

So that’s it. You are now ready to play a really old version of Dungeons and Dragons in the most Awesome way possible – one that involves no kind of interaction at all with other people. Now get out there, cover a table with weird looking dice, homemade character sheets, and some crude rulebooks that are at least 25 years old, and get to it! 

And don’t tell anyone.

I got yer hats here!! 3 of them! Two on the kids and one on the baseball player. I'd say the bases are loaded! HA!

When Nintendo claimed that the Wii would appeal to a broad audience of consumers, they were not kidding around.  While the Nintendo Wii plays a favorite among little kids and grandmas, it has much love from the gay community.  Gay people like to stay fit and games like Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and WiiFit allow them to keep in shape so they can look sexy in hopes of scoring with a handsome hunk.  Now while gay people like to stay in shape, they are not exactly the most masculine and muscular people in the world.  Most gay people wouldn’t choose an Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 because it is too heavy for them to carry around.  A gay person’s body is not built to carry around large, heavy consoles.  The Wii is small, light, white, and sleek.  Now, even though gay people might not like the Wii’s design and color as much as the GameCube’s purple purse design, it still looks nice to place in a home without worrying about it looking bad.

We did multiple polls on message boards such as Gamespot, 1UP, and IGN, asking if they were straight, gay, or bisexual.  The results were astounding.  The poll results showed that there were more gay owners who own the Wii more than any other console.  After completely the study, we asked them why they like the Wii over the 360/Playstation 3.  They told us they didn’t like how 360/PS3 games had so many dark games with brown/black/grey color palettes.  Usually straight men like games with darker colors because it makes them feel more manly and adult.  While we noticed that gay people tend to enjoy brighter color palettes such as red, yellow, orange, etc in games such as Super Mario Galaxy.  I once knew someone who was gay and he always talked about the colors and art styles of videogames.  The more stylish and artistic, the more gay people are more willing to play that game.  While another friend of mine who was straight, cared more if the visuals were realistic and looked like real life.  Straight people like graphics to look more like real life and less cartoonish.  Straight tend to enjoy games involving killing people or sports, while gay people tend to enjoy games about running around in a colorful fantasy world full of talking animals, colorful creatures, and magic.  Now, this doesn’t mean all people who enjoy games like that gay.  But I believe most of them are.

Gay people love to make great gourmet food and the Wii allows them to do that in a videogame such as Cooking Mama.  Cooking Mama is a great game for homosexuals because it allows you to be a great chef and create excellent meals.  And best of all, there is a lot of pink in the game’s visuals which is another reason gays will feel right at home with this game.

Another game that the gay community will love in Animal Crossing: City Folk.  This game is a gay person’s dream come.  You can be a fashion designer without worrying about people calling you a derogatory names.  Just the opposite.  The animals condone you to make the best fashion around.  Want to be an interior decorator and design wallpaper and decorate the inside of your home?  This game has it.  And not only that, the better you design the interior of your house, the better scores you will get.  Another thing that gay people will love is the ability to invite their friends into the town they created, and have a voice chat session using Wii Speak technology to talk about all the cute guys at the mall, and talk about the tightness of the new pair of leather pants that they bought.

If these games do not suit you, there is one game called Cho Aniki that will make the blood of any homosexual man get horny.  This game is called Cho Aniki for the Turbo Graphix 16 system.  You can buy it on the Wii’s Virtual Console.  I could describe what the game is about, but why should I when it only needs one picture to persuade the gay community to buy a Wii for this game.

If you need any more reason that the Wii is the most gay friendly system, Nintendo is one of the few companies to make a gay character.  His name is Tingle and he likes to skip and hop around in a tight green costume and giggle when young boys ask him for advice about their quests and adventures.

When Nintendo claimed that the Wii would appeal to a broad audience of consumers, they were not kidding around.  While the Nintendo Wii plays a favorite among little kids and grandmas, it has much love from the gay community.  Gay people like to stay fit and games like Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, and WiiFit allow them to keep in shape so they can look sexy in hopes of scoring with a handsome hunk.  Now while gay people like to stay in shape, they are not exactly the most masculine and muscular people in the world.  Most gay people wouldn’t choose an Xbox 360 or Playstation 3 because it is too heavy for them to carry around.  A gay person’s body is not built to carry around large, heavy consoles.  The Wii is small, light, white, and sleek.  Now, even though gay people might not like the Wii’s design and color as much as the GameCube’s purple purse design, it still looks nice to place in a home without worrying about it looking bad.

We did multiple polls on message boards such as Gamespot, 1UP, and IGN, asking if they were straight, gay, or bisexual.  The results were astounding.  The poll results showed that there were more gay owners who own the Wii more than any other console.  After completely the study, we asked them why they like the Wii over the 360/Playstation 3.  They told us they didn’t like how 360/PS3 games had so many dark games with brown/black/grey color palettes.  Usually straight men like games with darker colors because it makes them feel more manly and adult.  While we noticed that gay people tend to enjoy brighter color palettes such as red, yellow, orange, etc in games such as Super Mario Galaxy.  I once knew someone who was gay and he always talked about the colors and art styles of videogames.  The more stylish and artistic, the more gay people are more willing to play that game.  While another friend of mine who was straight, cared more if the visuals were realistic and looked like real life.  Straight people like graphics to look more like real life and less cartoonish.  Straight tend to enjoy games involving killing people or sports, while gay people tend to enjoy games about running around in a colorful fantasy world full of talking animals, colorful creatures, and magic.  Now, this doesn’t mean all people who enjoy games like that gay.  But I believe most of them are.

Gay people love to make great gourmet food and the Wii allows them to do that in a videogame such as Cooking Mama.  Cooking Mama is a great game for homosexuals because it allows you to be a great chef and create excellent meals.  And best of all, there is a lot of pink in the game’s visuals which is another reason gays will feel right at home with this game.

Another game that the gay community will love in Animal Crossing: City Folk.  This game is a gay person’s dream come.  You can be a fashion designer without worrying about people calling you a derogatory names.  Just the opposite.  The animals condone you to make the best fashion around.  Want to be an interior decorator and design wallpaper and decorate the inside of your home?  This game has it.  And not only that, the better you design the interior of your house, the better scores you will get.  Another thing that gay people will love is the ability to invite their friends into the town they created, and have a voice chat session using Wii Speak technology to talk about all the cute guys at the mall, and talk about the tightness of the new pair of leather pants that they bought.

If these games do not suit you, there is one game called Cho Aniki that will make the blood of any homosexual man get horny.  This game is called Cho Aniki for the Turbo Graphix 16 system.  You can buy it on the Wii’s Virtual Console.  I could describe what the game is about, but why should I when it only needs one picture to persuade the gay community to buy a Wii for this game.

If you need any more reason that the Wii is the most gay friendly system, Nintendo is one of the few companies to make a gay character.  His name is Tingle and he likes to skip and hop around in a tight green costume and giggle when young boys ask him for advice about their quests and adventures.

The newest addition to our Fun Stuff page is here!  We are calling the section “WordPlay,” because we aren’t sure whether or not we’re allowed to use the phrase that rhymes with “bad dibs” for copyright reasons.  For those of you who are still scratching their heads, the games work like this: certain words have been replaced in a story with a blank space.  The reader is prompted to insert a random verb or noun in its place with often hilarious results.

The first story we’re offering is called ”Sammy and the Bullies“.  Here’s how my first round went:

• Sammy was a pig who got picked on by his schoolmates.  “Hey, Sammy,” they would chomp, “why don’t you go peel and then eat some mines.

• Sammy decided to tell his teacher.  He went to Miss Anteater’s plank and knocked on it with his elbow.

• “What’s the matter, Sammy,” asked Miss Anteater sitting on her favorite bulldozer.  Sammy told her that the other animals had been slippery to him, and he wanted them to build.

• “If you want the other animals to be nicer,” said Miss Anteater, “you must be humongous and let them know that their teasing makes you feel like a toaster.”

• “That’s a slimy idea!” said Sammy, and he ballooned as he walked over to the grassy bullies.  “Hey,” said Sammy daintily, “I just wanted to tell you that when you hop, it makes me feel droopy.”

• “Gee, Sammy,” said the little snail, “We didn’t know you were so uptight. We’ll never skip again.”

• And so the other animals invited Sammy to flap with them.  Sammy was so happy, he celebrated by dying explosively.

…

Cover illustration for the Dutch medical magazine Arts en Auto, about so-called serious games that allow apprentice surgeons to practice their future tasks.

More at www.sevensheaven.nl

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So you thought you used to play 2D games. If you had taken a look behind the screen, then you'd have seen this.

The featured game is Galaga from Namco, a classic 8-bit game for the arcades, released in 1981.

Would be great to see a series of these scenes released as tangible designer gadgets. If anyone is interested to realize that, just get in touch with me. I can deliver the 3D scenes ready for rapid prototyping.

You can find my other 3D pixel artworks over here.

So you thought you were playing 2D games. If you had taken a look inside your monitor, then you'd have seen this.

The featured game is Impossible Mission from Epyx, a classic 8-bit game for the Commodore 64, released in 1983.

More at Sevensheaven.nl

In 1994 the Clockwiser puzzle game was released internationally for the Commodore Amiga computers, the CD32 console, MS-DOS and MS-Windows 3.1.

Clockwiser was a production of the Dutch developers Reinier van Vliet (programmer), me (graphics), Peter Schaap (programmer) and Ramon Braumuller (audio).

Peter Schaap and I have now rereleased Clockwiser online as a free retro game, with the addition of new graphics and new functionality. You're invited for a visit to Playclockwiser.com for an impression.

Best regards,

Metin

http://sevensheaven.nl — cartoons | comics | design | illustration

Test your vocabulary acumen and donate rice to the hungry.



But watch out--this game is addictive. (I played quickly-got to 500 grains of rice, and then quit cold turkey. Otherwise, I might stay all day!)

I think English teachers everywhere could use this and have their students learning, having fun, and doing good!

Happy Friday to all.  I hope you have plans to enjoy the tail end of August this weekend.  Our condolences go out to the family of author Grace Paley, who died of breast cancer this week.   If you want to learn more about her check out these great articles: LitKicks, Maud Newton or The LA Times.

Do you finish books you aren’t enjoying? I put down The Inheritance of Loss this spring and I’m still feeling guilty about it.

Curious about the origins of the online OED? Check out this fascinating blog entry. (more…)

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