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Trolls. They only exist in fairytales, don't they? Trip trap trip trap go the three Billy Goats Gruff over the Troll's bridge. The youngest goat is allowed to pass by saying that his middle brother is bigger and more tasty. The middle brother is allowed to pass by saying that his older brother is biggest and yummiest. And what does the older brother do? Why he tosses the Troll over the side of the bridge with his great big horns and watches him smash on the rocks below, making the bridge safe forever.
If only it were as easy to get rid of trolls on the internet. In case you don't know what an internet troll is, here's a basic definition:
"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response."
Internet trolls are clever. Sometimes they use what seem like reasonable arguments to draw people in. Often they act 'hurt and wounded'. Always they have an agenda, whether it be garnering publicity, provoking other people into online fights, or just plain old nastiness. What they love best is to be fed more material (ie comments) for them to get their sharp, cruel teeth into. They are vindictive, destructive, and a part of internet life I absolutely abhor.
I have been 'trolled' on this very blog. I won't say where or when, but it was one of the most upsetting experiences I've ever had - and the worst bit was feeling so totally helpless when it all kicked off. Luckily we managed to shut it down quite quickly, but not before some damage had been done and feelings badly hurt. My mistake was to 'feed the troll' by trying to be reasonable, polite and patient with his comments for far too long. This was a mistake. I've learned from it.
So why am I writing this post now? Because in the last month two authors have spoken out about their own experiences of being trolled and cyberbullied. One is Cassandra Clare, and you can read her account of what happened to her
HERE. If you don't know what cyberbullying is, here's another basic definition:
Cyberbullying is "the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner." Cyberbullying methods include "communications that seek to intimidate, control, manipulate, put down, falsely discredit, or humiliate the recipient. The actions are deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior intended to harm another." I would include "passive-aggressive behaviour" along with "hostile".
The other person who has been trolled and cyberbullied very recently is Debi Gliori. Her piece about the campaign against her and her newest picture-book,
The Tobermory Cat is
HERE.
To be honest, both these stories make me angry, mostly because I hate any sort of bullying with a passion. I'm glad Cassandra and Debi were brave enough to come out and expose their tormentors, though, because too many people are scared to come forward and say something.
This is what bullying does. It isolates, makes you feel alone and frightened, is a small, insidious whisper in the brain, telling you that no one is on your side, that everyone hates you, and if you tell, everyone will hate you more. Cyberbullying is trolling whipped up into a campaign. It's much easier to hide behind a keyboard than to physically bully someone. You can even do it across borders, across continents.
No author should have to suffer it. No child should have to suffer it (though too many do, and die because of it, as in the
recent case of Amanda Todd's suicide). Not one single human being deserves to be bullied or cyberbullied. Ever. Full stop.
Although I maintain that 'feeding the trolls' is not a good idea (and by 'feeding' I mean engaging with them on a longterm basis), I also believe that we should stand up in public and support, reasonably, politely and firmly, those who have been trolled or cyberbullied. Many of us have done so in Debi's case. Nicola Morgan has written an excellent piece on the ins and outs of intellectual property law
HERE, and now the
Guardian has also picked the story up.
If all of us stand together and keep saying no to each cyberbully and troll as we come across them, then maybe we, like the eldest Billy Goat Gruff, can use our horns to throw them down onto the rocks under the internet bridge and defeat them one by one. Unfortunately trolls and their cyberbully cousins are very resilient. I fear it'll be a long job, but I, for one, will keep on trying. I couldn't live with myself otherwise.
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Social Media has been a positive force for youth. It lets them express themselves, helps them overcome social isolation and it gives them the ability to influence the world without the freedom granted by adulthood. There is a darker side to social media as well. The most evident in recent years has been cyber bullying, but it’s not the only issue.
There have been three recent rape allegations connected the service Skout. In response, the company has decided to suspend the teen branch of their service. Teens who are avid users of the service are moving against the shutdown. The teens believe that the shutdown won’t help anything. Teens will simply lie about their age and use the adult service, and they correctly assert that their creeps on Facebook too.
Facebook is choosing to take a different path. They acknowledge the fact that minors will use their site regardless. In fact, 38% of minors using Facebook are under the required age of registration, 13. So Facebook is working to create a version for their site for minors. It is a version that gives them unique privacy setting and controls. You can find more on that, and why people feel Facebook isn’t doing it out of pure altruism here.
Many of those creeps use the same method that they did on Skout on Facebook and other sites. Child Predators who target teens and children using Social Media frequently lie about their age in their profiles, and they use pictures of themselves or others as teens as profile pictures. They don’t just say their teens in a chat room, they build profiles around a teenage identity. They earn the trust of teens. They set up a meeting, and then they commit their crime.
This has happened many times. It has happed across the county. It happened on Long Island where I live in January. It is not that difficult to imagine happening, but it is difficult to dream up an effective solution overnight. The solutions being proposed right now include restricting teen access, creating an automated system the scours the net for child porn and prostitution, and new laws governing access/possible capabilities of social media. The effectiveness of this shotgun will likely save some, but the implementation must be closely watched. There is a fine line between protecting teens and silencing them.
The bottom line is banning teens from Social Media won’t help. Predators, rapists and molesters have and will always exist. Facebook may even help bring them to justice, or it could at very least provide people an avenue for closure. What does help? Have the conversations daily, and whenever possible. They may get sick of hearing it from you, but that is okay. We can’t eliminate pedophelia, as much as we want to. But maybe we can empower teens to protect themselves.
By: Anastasia Goodstein,
on 11/9/2011
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Today’s post comes from Youth Advisory Board member Emily Smucker, who, like nearly everyone her age, knows someone who’s been involved in some digital drama. The problem, ranging from name calling to full-blown cyberbullying, has been getting a... Read the rest of this post
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Cyberbullying is a reality for kids growing up today, and for the victims, it’s hard to turn off. As Internet savvy as teens are, so are bullies who can make their lives hell. But fortunately, teen media companies are getting involved, sharing the... Read the rest of this post
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I’ve been invited to participate in a panel discussion on the topic of Cyberbullying: What Every Parent Should Know.
Essentially, from what I can gather, there’s going to be a bunch of experts . . . and me.
The panelists include:
* Lydia Kulbida, Moderator. WTEN-TV news anchor. Mother of two teens.
* Lori Cullen: timesunion.com blogger. Mother of three teens. Founder of Millennial Youth, an independent, youth-run magazine housed at the Times Union
* Sandra Morley: Principal, Bethlehem Central Middle School
* Prof. Stephen Birchak: Educator, lecturer, author of “How to Build a Child’s Character – By Tapping Into Your Own”
* Lt. Joseph Donohue: State Police Computer Crime Unit. Oversees the federal Justice Department’s Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force
* James Preller: Author of more than 80 children’s books. His most recent novel, ‘Bystander,’ tells the story of bullying from multiple perspectives
FOR MORE DETAILS, AND TO REGISTER (DON’T WORRY, IT’S FREE!), CLICK HERE.
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By Dori Hillestad Butler
A few years ago, I wrote The Truth About Truman School, a novel that deals with cyberbullying. In the book, a girl named Lilly Clarke is harassed online—on a website the whole school reads, an anonymous classmate posts photos and accuses her of being gay.
She starts to avoid school, and then one day, she disappears altogether. The book is also the story of her classmates who witness the bullying and don’t know how to respond.
You may have heard that it’s Bullying Prevention Week—or Month. This year the National Center for Bullying Prevention has expanded the event to cover the whole month of October.
It’s a strangely timely decision, considering all the recent stories about bullying-related tragedies. Special reports on bullying are appearing on the websites for CNN.com, Cartoon Network and People magazine this week. Some of the stories will break your heart. You wonder what you can do—if you can do anything at all.
I want to tell you about a school visit I did last spring. I spoke to 4th and 5th graders, and after one of my presentations, this girl came up to me. She waited until all the other kids were lining up to go back to their classrooms and I was getting set up for the next presentation. She said, “Can I tell you something?”
I said, “Sure.”
She looked around, then leaned in close and whispered, “I’m being cyberbullied.”
At first I just stood there. I expected her teacher to call her over any second. But when that didn’t happen, I said, “do you want to tell me about it?”
Her eyes filled with tears. Then she said, “my friend is spreading rumors about me. She has a website and she uses it to write mean things about people, just like in your book. Now no one will talk to me. Everyone in this whole school hates me.”
She told me she and that girl had been friends since they were four. Their moms were friends, too. But now because the girls weren’t getting along, neither were the moms.
I ached for this girl.
I wondered whether she had told anyone at school about what was happening. Her teacher? A counselor? She said, “they won’t do anything because my friend’s mom helps at school a lot.”
I found it interesting that this girl kept referring to the other girl as her “friend.” She didn’t sound like much of a friend to me. She sounded like a manipulative little—okay, I probably shouldn’t say that when I’m a guest on my publisher’s blog.
I asked her whether it would be okay if I told her librarian what she’d just told me.
She wiped her eyes and said, “Just forget it. It doesn’t matter. Nobody ever does anything anyway.” Then she ran off to join her class.
I did say something to that librarian. All I could do was describe the girl since I didn’t get her name. But the librarian thought she knew who I was talking about. She said “That girl has quite an imagination. I’m sure she read your book and made up that story just so she’d have something to say to you. I don’t believe any of it is true.”
I was stunned. Those tears weren’t real?
Of course the librarian knows the girl and I don’t. She could be absolutely right.
But what if she was wrong?
It’s hard to believe some kids are bullies, but sometimes it’s hard to know when a kid is a victim, too. Which is all the more reason why it’s important to take bullying seriously—in every instance.
Yes—it would’ve bothered me to find out the girl was playing me. But it would bother me a lot more to see this girl’s picture in the news.
I hope it never comes to that.
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Yesterday in Ypulse Essentials, I cited a lengthy feature that ran in the New York Times' Style section, reg. required, on middle schools, cyberbullying and the difficult question of how, if at all, educators can step in to resolve abusive... Read the rest of this post
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Great post, Lucy. It's really important to stand up to hate behaviour. And to do it with dignity. That's what you and I and others have been trying to do. I think we've done a good job. You will have noticed the patient moderating I exercised on my blog! Not easy. I wanted no further anger from anyone to anyone, though it's been really hard to disguise how upset I still do feel about any nasty behaviour by person or persons unknown towards someone who had done nothing wrong.
Well said! Excellent blog
I second what Leslie and Nicola say.
Thank you all. And you're right, Nicola , dignity and politeness are essential in these cases.
Well said, Lucy. I was shocked at the recent cases of authors coming under this kind of attack. From reading the troll posts, it seems to me that there is an obsessive, irrational quality to this kind of behaviour, driven by jealousy, resentment, feelings of all kinds of inadequacy. I agree that it is probably a mistake to 'feed the trolls' but, on the other hand, if we do and say nothing, it's a bit like tolerating racist comments, for example, in everyday life. I guess the weapon we have as bloggers is removal, that's why presumably they set up their own sites. I had no idea that there were 'hate blogs' - what a waste of time and energy and what sad, sad lives!
Very well said.
Great post. We don't have to respond to them - but we can stand together to support anyone on the receiving end of this.
Hear hear.
I think people use the phrase "feeding the trolls" loosely. Standing up and saying, "This is happening and this is wrong - look how wrong and nasty it is" is not feeding trolls. It is drowning them in decency.
Let's be honest, the underlying motive in Debi's case is money. The troll has bluntly asked, "What's in it for me?" and encouraged his friends, neighbours and anyone else gullible enough to get involved with his crusade to overstep the boundaries. Many people (including the fabulous Nicola) have explained why he has no basis for any kind of claim but still he persists. In some cases, he will wilfully subverts what others say in support of Debi to further his own argument.
I took part in a BBC local radio debate last night which touched on the subject of trolls and we couldn't agree on a solution. But I think each and every one of us making a reasoned stand to cyber bullying is an excellent start.
I agree its right to make a stand. I also think there comes a point when you have to withdraw from debate not just for personal sanity but because most trolls want to be noticed more than anything else - that's kind of why they troll.
I'm not sure if that was how Tobermory Cat started; he may have actually felt he had been treated unfairly but it is how he has continued.
I think the most important thing is to support the bullied victims of such abuse.
@Nicky: "I agree its right to make a stand. I also think there comes a point when you have to withdraw from debate not just for personal sanity but because most trolls want to be noticed more than anything else"
I think this kind of sensible balance is probably quite difficult to consistently get right, but I absolutely agree that it's what we should aim for.
And, Nicola, I am in awe of your hostly skills.
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Thank you for posting.
Well, said Lucy. I would just add that, when dealing with trolls, we must keep our dignity and not descend to their level of abuse, no matter how mad they make us. And also remember that the pen is mightier than the troll, so we can write them to death! (Politely of course)
Excellent post, Lucy.
This kind of bullying is just not acceptable and needs to be exposed - but how to do it without contributing to the exposure that it seems the trolls are looking for?
I soppose that bringing it into the public arena for debate, so that those who are being targetted feel they are supported and less alone, is a good start.
Thanks Lucy - and Nicola. I hate seeing people being bullied or unfairly criticised.
This thing about trolls looking for exposure - I don't buy it. Trolls are just trolls. They get their kicks from thinking they are great. They aren't great. They are cowardly and pathetic.
Brilliant post Lucy.
I've had a bit of experience of trolls too (in fact, I think it was the same ABBA post that you referred to) and it was horrific.
I think it's extremely hard to figure out the right way to deal with any kind of bullying or 'trolling'. But one thing I do know is that support from others makes everything feel much better. So hurrah for you - and others - for these blogs that are openly standing up for what's right.
xx
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I know what you mean about how upsetting this sort of thing can be. Interestingly, when it happened to me, my confronting my bullies publicly by writing a post about the things they said, and sending them the link to read it, drew a line under it. Nothing heard since.
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