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By: Mark Myers,
on 7/17/2014
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I hate greeting cards. Oh sure, I’ve been touched by the sentimental commercials. Maybe I shed a tear, maybe not. But they didn’t inspire to me buy a card or like them.
The only cards that resonate with me are blank cards. In this day and age, if someone takes the time to write their own thoughts out and mail it – that is a treasure.
What greeting cards really say in their flourishing font is: “I’m lazy!”
Write this in your card: “I was too lazy to set a few minutes aside to put my own thoughts into words, so here are some prepackaged, canned, inauthentic thoughts that a wanna-be romance writer who hasn’t shaved in weeks and smokes big cigars in Spokane thought were relevant just for you, my sweetest. Please say ‘Awwwww’ and kiss me.”
Frankly, greeting cards are disingenuous at best.
When I was a kid, they were just speed bumps to the present. Oh sure, I would pretend to read them on my way to disemboweling the wrapping paper that stood between me and the gift. I liked the ones Aunt Eunice would underline so I could skip most of the words – kind of a cliff notes version. Later in life, she began underlining every word, including the price and printing information – which made it less helpful. Of course, by then she was wrapping up ten year-old toasters and place mats for presents, so haste was less of a concern.
Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you
-Henry Kissinger
Greeting cards and I have a turbulent history. Since I am negatively disposed against them, they do their best to shame me at every turn. Instead of bowing to their convenience and paying the price, I try to take the time to write personal notes, especially to my lovely wife. But there are instances when I run out of time and am forced to rush into the store and get one. When this happens, I treat it like a commando raid – rush in, select the victim, and get out before anyone gets hurt. I choose based on color and frill, often neglecting to check the sentiment inside – time is what I lack, anyway. With that method, it is pretty easy to stay away from sympathy and get-well cards, but sometimes (okay, most of the time), the sentiment of my selection doesn’t match the occasion or is age inappropriate. That is where The Hallmark Conspiracy comes in.
Take this week. This week marked her birthday. I had a great present in advance, but completely forgot the stupid card until the day of. So I put on my camo, blacked my eyes and descended upon the grocery store. Although every fiber of my cheap being steered me to the 99¢ rack, I’ve been warned about those and went all out – $3.99! I found the birthday section, saw one with a cute little boy and girl on it and dashed out of the store.
Here is what I got:
Hastily altered in the driveway – think she noticed?
Mis-shelved! The card was mis-shelved! I swear I was in the birthday section!
Swine greeting cards!!!!!!
Someday society will truly be paperless and I won’t have to deal with these verbose phonies. Until then, I’ll shred a few in effigy and steer clear of the aisle altogether.
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by Sally Matheny  |
| Beating the Odds & Staying Married |
He was the annoying little brother of one of my high school friend. The first time I went to her house, he and his friend hid then pelted us with multi-colored marshmallows. I’ll never forget his first three words to me. Pressing his palm to his forehead, he flexed his little arm and said, “Feel that muscle!” He acted like your typical ten-year-old, except he was thirteen at the time.
That took place back in 1979. By 1989, we were vowing to love one another for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and in health—and only death could separate us.
Wow. That’s a heavy promise. Most can’t really imagine what the worse, poor, or sick days will be like when they’re standing there in the blissful moments of their wedding day.
Yet, the divorce statistics are staggering, even among evangelical Christians. Studies report the chances of divorce increase with every year of marriage. So, what’s the secret of those who are beating the odds and staying married? Moreover, are they happily married?
A plethora of sources offer marriage advice, but one must choose wisely. Our primary source must be of the highest standard. So, what does the Bible say about marriage? A great article in Christianity Today answers this. After the scripture is discussed, the article concludes with a quote by author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"
Hmm…there’s a thought. Quite often, we enter marriage with high expectations of what our spouse will provide towards our happiness. Sometimes our focus on God blurs. We seek fulfillment and affirmation solely from our spouse. Because we are all imperfect humans, this strategy ultimately will fall short.
How often do you hear people say they are not happy in their marriage? They don’t love one another anymore. Things aren’t working out as they had planned. One feels they’re carrying the whole load. Each blames the other. It’s too much work.
Promising to love each other through the stretches of illness, the not-so-wealthy days, and the all-inclusive “worse” days guarantees us that not every day is going to be happy.
Success for a long-lasting marriage boils down to how you define love. If you base it on the world’s standards, your marriage will most likely be an uphill battle in which everyone loses.
 |
| An example of the purest love. |
If we vow to love one another, in the presence of God, shouldn’t we strive for Hisstandard? If we want an example of the purest love, we need not look any further than that of Jesus Christ. Not one of us is perfect. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to follow Christ’s example. Daily pouring our hearts out before the Lord and asking Him to fill them back up with His power to help us love our spouses the way He does. This is not just praying for God to give you a feeling. It takes work.
Yes, work. Our sinful nature has a tendency to look towards our own selfish desires first. It takes a conscientious effort to put our spouse’s needs before our own. It’s easy to love them when they act loveable. Learning how to treat a spouse with love, despite how he/she behaves towards us—that’s not easy to do at all.
We must learn from the Master, who shows love to us when we are so unworthy. A successful marriage, one that has a continual undercurrent of joy, is based on a couple’s resolve to choose to love each other in thoughts, words, and deeds regardless of the surrounding circumstances.
My husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this summer. Is he still annoying like he was the day I met him? Sometimes. Have I ever treated him in the same manner? Absolutely.
The times we struggled the most in our marriage were the times we focused less on God and more on ourselves. Our marriage grew deeper (and sweeter!) once we stopped roller coasting on an emotion and began intentionally cultivating our relationship. Regular times of reading the Bible and praying together took our relationship to a much deeper level. Christ’s love is what binds us, what encourages us, and keeps us going when times get tough.
We’re beating the odds because we're not gambling with worldly "wisdom." We’ve placed our lives, and our marriage, on the winning team of Jesus Christ.
Are we happily married? Yes! Most days.
On the worsedays, we choose to dig deep, and stand on a firm foundation of true love.
By: Julia Callaway,
on 7/15/2014
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By Rachel Hope Cleves
Same-sex marriage is having a moment. The accelerating legalization of same-sex marriage at the state level since the Supreme Court’s June 2013 United States v. Windsor decision, striking down the Defense of Marriage Act, has truly been astonishing. Who is not dumbstruck by the spectacle of legal same-sex marriages performed in a state such as Utah, which criminalized same-sex sexual behavior until 2003? The historical whiplash is dizzying.
Daily headlines announcing the latest changes to the legal landscape of same-sex marriage are feeding public curiosity about the history of such unions, and several of the books that top the “Gay & Lesbian History” bestsellers lists focus on same-sex marriage. However, they tend to focus on the immediate antecedents for today’s legal decisions, rather than the historical roots of the issue.
At first consideration, it may seem anachronistic to describe a same-sex union from the early nineteenth century as a “marriage,” but this is the language that several who knew Charity Bryant (1777-1851) and Sylvia Drake (1784-1868) used at the time. As a young boy growing up in western Vermont during the antebellum era, Hiram Harvey Hurlburt Jr. paid a visit to a tailor shop run by the two women to order a suit of clothes made. Noticing something unusual about the women, Hurlburt asked around town and “heard it mentioned as if Miss Bryant and Miss Drake were married to each other.” Looking back from the vantage of old age, Hurlburt chose to include their story in a handwritten memoir he left to his descendants. Like homespun suits, the women were a relic of frontier Vermont, which was receding swiftly into the distance as the twentieth century surged forward. Once upon a time, Hurlburt recalled for his relatives, two women of unusual character could be known around town as a married couple.
There were many who agreed with Hurlburt. Charity Bryant’s sister-in-law, Sarah Snell Bryant, mother to the beloved antebellum poet and journalist William Cullen Bryant, wrote to the women “I consider you both one as man and wife are one.” The poet himself described his Aunt Sylvia as a “fond wife” to her “husband,” his Aunt Charity. And Charity called Sylvia her “helpmeet,” using one of the most common synonyms for wife in early America.
The evidence that Charity and Sylvia possessed a public reputation as a married couple in their small Vermont town, and among the members of their family, goes a long way to constituting evidence that their union should be labeled as a same-sex marriage and seen as a precedent for today’s struggle. In the legal landscape of the early nineteenth century, “common law” marriages could be verified based on two conditions: a couple’s public reputation as being married, and their sharing of a common residence. Charity and Sylvia fit both those criteria. After they met in the spring of 1807, while Charity was paying a visit to Sylvia’s hometown of Weybridge, Vermont, Charity decided to rent a room in town and invited Sylvia to come live with her. The two commenced their lives together on 3 July 1807, a date that the women regarded as their anniversary forever after. The following year they built their own cottage, initially a twelve-by-twelve foot room, which they moved into on the last day of 1808. They lived there together for the rest of their days, until Charity’s death in 1851 from heart disease. Sylvia lasted another eight years in the cottage, before moving into her older brother’s house for the final years of her life.
The grave of Charity Bryant and Sylvia Drake. Photo by Rachel Hope Cleves. Do not use without permission.
Of course, Charity and Sylvia did not fit one very important criterion for marriage, common-law or statutory: that the union be established between a man and a woman. But then, their transgression of this requirement likened their union to other transgressive marriages of the age: those between couples where one or both spouses were already married, or where one or both spouses were beneath the age of consent at the formation of the union, or where one spouse was legally enslaved. In each of these latter circumstances, courts called on to pass judgment over questions of inheritance or the division of property sometimes recognized the validity of marriages even where the spouses could not legally be married according to statute. Since Charity and Sylvia never argued over property in life, and since their inheritors did not challenge the terms of the women’s wills which split their common property between their families, the courts never had a reason to rule on the legality of the women’s marriage. Ultimately, the question of whether their union constituted a legal marriage in its time cannot be resolved.
Regardless, it is vital that the history of marriage include relationships socially understood to be marriages as well as those relationships that fit the legal definition. Although the legality of same-sex marriage has been the subject of focused attention in the past decade (and the past year especially), we cannot forget that marriage exists first and foremost as a social fact. To limit the definition of marriage entirely to those who fit within its statutory terms would, for example, exclude two and a half centuries of enslaved Americans from the history of marriage. It would confuse law’s prescriptive powers with a description of reality, and give statute even more power than its oversized claims.
Awareness of how hard-fought the last decade’s legalization battle has been makes it difficult to believe that during the early national era two same-sex partners could really and truly be married. However, a close look at Charity and Sylvia’s story compells us to re-examine our beliefs. History is not a progress narrative, we all know. What’s only just become possible now may have also been possible at points in the past. Historians of the early American republic might want to ask why Charity and Sylvia’s marriage was possible in the first decades of the nineteenth century, whether it would have been so forty years later or forty years before, and what their marriage can tell us about the possibilities for sexual revolution and women’s independence in the years following the Revolution. For historians of any age, Charity and Sylvia’s story is a reminder of the unexpected openings and foreclosures that make the past so much more interesting than our assumptions.
Rachel Hope Cleves is Associate Professor of History at the University of Victoria. She is author of Charity and Sylvia: A Same-Sex Marriage in Early America.
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This week I’m a little caught up in a very important milestone—my 30th wedding anniversary. First of all, I can’t believe I’m that old. And second, I’m pretty proud to have made it this far, seeing as how lots of my friends have been divorced. So even though I want to focus on writing, I’m distracted by this momentous occasion. So I thought, why not combine the two?
I've compared writing to gardening, parenting, and a host of other long-term occupations. Marriage has many similarities, as well.
Like, it’s hard. That’s kind of cheating; everything really worth doing is hard. But I think a lot of people enter into marriage in that deliriously happy stage of love where everything is sunshine and roses and they can never imagine how hard it will be at times. It’s all so easy in those new love moments. Writing is the same. I know hundreds of folks who think writing is the easiest thing in all the world. I mean, everyone does it, right? Facebook, twitter, everywhere you look, people are writing. Which is great. But they aren’t really writing that well, nor are they writing with a book length manuscript in mind. Nor do they have to revise (although sometimes they really should) or work with an editor or make sure their characters are consistent. Writing is just as hard as any other work, more so than some. No one would say playing the violin in the New York Philharmonic is so easy anyone could do it. Really good writers work equally hard on our craft as professional musicians or professionals of any kind. Because it’s hard.
Successful marriages don’t just happen. They are in need of constant attention and dedication. Same for writing (and any artistic form). You have to practice it, do it consistently, pay attention to it, and work on it. You don’t sit down, write one draft, and call it good. Just as you don’t recite your vows, buy a house, and that’s it. You have to think about it all the time. I’m constantly writing in my head, even when I’m not at the computer or with a pen in hand. I’m always asking my characters how they would react to a certain situation. I’m communicating with my work. Just as I communicate with my husband all the time about various things big and little in our lives.
Marriage is a partnership, and sometimes others are needed to help the marriage thrive: counselors, friends, family. Writing is a collaborative process, in the end. Sure, we all sit at our desks and write as solitary beings. But to bring that work to the world requires the help of critique friends, editors, agents, production staff, sales staff, etc. It may feel like a lone wolf profession, but even self-publishing authors should seek the help and support of all those people in order to produce the best work possible.
Delayed gratification is a hallmark of both a successful marriage and a successful writing life. Or, as the Rolling Stones sing, “You can’t always get what you want.” You know what I’m talking about. There’s rejection, over and over again. Even when your work is acquired, there are often years of work still ahead before it hits the shelves. Marriage works the same way. It’s not a finished product, ever. It’s always in a state of revision or work in progress. You don’t just get married and have the white picket fence dream at once. Sometimes you live in your parents’ basement until you can afford a house. Or sometimes you put off having children until you are done with graduate school. Or sometimes you never get the “dream house” you have always wanted. Sometimes you drive a broken down car instead of a new one in order to send your kids to college. Life is full of delayed gratification in order to achieve a goal or a dream. I wish more writers understood this. New writers, myself included all those many years ago, are so eager and anxious to get published that they send work out that isn't even near ready for publication. Delay that gratification and work on the writing. The rewards are great in the end.
In marriage, as in writing, it is totally acceptable to celebrate every small step toward success. Our first anniversary, we celebrated enormously. One whole year. Wow! The first time I got paid to write, I was so happy. Yes, celebrate each milestone, knowing that many more will come your way if you keep working hard, putting in the time and energy, focusing on growth and renewal, and waiting for the right time to move ahead.
by Neysa CM Jensen
(in Boise, Idaho)
By: Mark Myers,
on 5/13/2014
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I have been a good errand runner for many years. I have never minded getting those “things” that need to be got. However, the situation can be comical. Early in our marriage, I learned brand preference – often taking a boxtop as a crutch to make sure. Everything changed after our first daughter was born and the new mama needed something different. My mind isn’t programmed for different.
There I stood looking at an infinite wall of products with no idea what to purchase. I am sure she had given me instructions, but I had no purchase history, no boxtop, no clue. The wall got bigger and bigger while I shrunk into a puddle of indecision.
Until I was rescued by a wonderfully kind, large woman who took pity on me.
“You need some help, honey?” she asked.
“Well, yes, is it that obvious?” I stammered.
“It sure is. What’s the problem?”
“Well, I need to get something for my wife. We just had a baby.”
Her angelic face lit up with joy, “Oh, sweety! How wonderful! Is it a boy or a girl?”
“We had a little girl,” I replied proudly as I dug a picture out to show her.
“She’s just beautiful,” she said. And as if she suddenly plugged into an amplifier, her voice boomed throughout the store while I shrunk even smaller. “WHAT YOU NEED IS NIGHT TIME EXTRA-ABSORBANT…..”
I’ve forgotten whatever else she said. It went on for some time, I think. I will forever appreciate her help, but I have no idea why she had to tell everyone in a five mile radius of the store what I was shopping for. She was spot on with her advice, though.
I was only twenty-eight then. Why it mattered I don’t know. I couldn’t care less now. I have had to do a great deal of shopping lately – and with a wife and three teenage daughters, yes, I have purchased quite a few of those types of products. I don’t flinch anymore. In fact, I like to check out wherever a young boy is working give him to he stink-eye as he handles the carton. I have made more than one blush.
Better yet, when I come home I have even more fun by announcing, “I got your feminine hygiene products.” There is never a “daddy’s home!” parade for that proclamation. No one comes running. They don’t want to hear that from their father. So I deliver them personally to their rooms and make the announcement individually. Lots of rolled eyes and groans.
I don’t mind buying that stuff anymore, but I do have one regret. With four daughters, why didn’t I have the forethought to invest in that stock? If I had done that, I truly would be the King of Feminine Hygiene!
Photo attribution: Geni (Photo by user:geni)
By: Mark Myers,
on 4/24/2014
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I made a discovery amidst my family’s unfortunate new reality. Since I am not a genius, I am sure most of you already knew what I just found out. However, it solved a long-standing conundrum for me.
I’ve been doing the dishes in my domicile for about a decade. There are two reasons and both pertain to my lovely wife. First, her hands get dry and cracked sometimes after she washes dishes. It isn’t a big deal to pitch in and do something, so I figured I could help AND save money on expensive lotions. The second reason is that she said I never looked sexier than when I’m elbow deep in soap suds. If that ain’t reason enough, I don’t know what is.
We have this long running argument about the necessity of some pots, pans, and utensils to the cooking process. I believe that she has an evil plan to soil every dish we own – thus my dirty kitchen apocalypse theory. She discounts my hypothesis and doesn’t seem to care anyway. I still maintain that chocolate chip cookies shouldn’t require seventeen items to make. Yet every time I smell them cooking, I know I have seventeen new items to wash.
All of that leads to today’s brilliant finding. She had been at the hospital with our youngest for two weeks. It has been a rough stretch with me playing Mr. Mom. Thanks to the generosity of others, I have yet to cook (a fact that makes my other daughters very happy since my culinary expertise doesn’t extend past piling things on bread.) I noticed during the last few days that I didn’t have many dishes to wash at all. Bonus!
We finally got to bring our sick baby home this week and, lo and behold, within an hour the sink was full of dirty dishes. Nothing could dampen the joy of the reunion, but I admit I was slightly peaved. So I playfully confronted the offender with the revival of my dirty kitchen apocalypse theory.
My lovely wife didn’t flinch, just laughed and waved me off.
“But I haven’t washed this many dishes in two weeks,” I complained to her back as she walked away.
“You have to cook to make dishes,” she replied over her shoulder.
Ahhh, so that explains it.
And off I go to fill the sink with suds, hoping she’ll take notice.
photo credit: Mysid (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
By: Mark Myers,
on 4/17/2014
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There was a young husband who took a young wife to live in a shoebox beside a busy thoroughfare. The young man attempted to treat his wife with utmost sincerity and kindness, but often found that his tongue got in his way. Dull and ill-advised words suitable only for bachelorhood unfortunately found their way from his mouth to his young bride’s ear.
While the ever-patient bride overlooked most of the offenses, the stupid young husband constantly felt it necessary to pay penance for his outbursts by aiding his wife in her chores. After one particular peccadillo, the husband took it upon himself to do the laundry.
Knowing at least that colors and whites must go separately, he sorted the clothes into piles and decided to begin with the whites. In went the slightly dingy load while the hopeful husband added soap and waited nearby. When the buzzer rang, he jumped to his feet expecting to pull out gleaming white clothes. What to his wondering eyes did appear, but a washer full of pink. Pink, the color of panic. Nothing was the same as it had gone in.
With his bride due home soon, he frantically searched the load to find an offending single red sock. Casting it aside, he loaded the machine with bleach and ran the whites through once more. Bing – cycle over, no change. Pink panic.
A key at the door
A smiling bride
A kiss before the confession
Disappointment, accusation, regret
“My favorite shirt!” she exclaimed as she held up a blushing blouse. “Ruined!”
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” pled the husband. “I’ll buy you another. What else can I do, my darling?”
“I will tell you what you can do,” she fumed. “You can promise you will never, ever, ever do the laundry again!”
“I swear it, my love,” promised the young man on bended knee. “I will never touch dirty clothes for as long as you’ll have me.”
One score and two years later, the older husband is still bound by his oath and forbidden to use the washing machine with the following exception: his rag towels.
With a family so large, the machine seems to run day and night, but can he help? Not besides folding.
I ask you the following, was the young naïve husband really so foolish decades ago, or did he craft a cunning plan sure to guarantee a life of marital slackness? Could you place that much credit for forethought on the brash youth who couldn’t keep his pie-hole closed? Would the wife’s version tell a different tale?
By: Mark Myers,
on 3/9/2014
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Spring seems to have found us here in Georgia this weekend. While it is a simple fact that God smiles on The South sooner than the northern regions, I hold no illusions that spring is here for good. But yesterday found me in shorts cleaning up the yard. We live on a couple of wooded acres and green is beginning to peek through the gloomy brown – in my neighbor’s yard. I however was cursed with a dreaded black thumb. I follow some photography blogs displaying the most beautiful flowers from tropical locations, so I thought I would give you my best effort.
These are my gardenias. Are implies a current state of being, so I suppose I should say these were my gardenias. I don’t know what happened to them, they just shriveled up and turned brown like everything else I put in the ground. Our once vibrant hydrangeas look more like flaking twigs than actual plants. My grass – brown in every season unless you include moss and weeds. Every time I go to the orange store, I tell my friend Lou the dilemma and he recommends a plant that can’t be killed. I used to take them back with their return policy, but I’ve become embarrassed to do so anymore.
You know how God builds a perfect union from two dissimilar parts? One member of the marriage might be outgoing and the other shy, or one might be cognitive while the other is emotional. Then they join together like pieces of a puzzle and complete each other perfectly (sorry for the cheesy Jerry Maguire reference, but while I’m at it, enjoy…)
In a cruel twist of fate for botanists everywhere, my lovely bride has a matching black thumb. Potted plants seem to be a popular thank you gift here and she’s received a number of them over the years. All we have left is a bunch of pots filled with what I call soil of death. She kills indoor plants while I slay the jungle outside. Nothing is safe in our homestead. Thank you, God that we have a supermarket and don’t rely on subsistence farming. We’d all starve for sure.
So while my friends up north are mired in snow, we are seeing the sun in our little slice of heaven. Maybe it likes us because we don’t need it for photosynthesis. I don’t know, I just like wearing shorts again.
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on 9/5/2013
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When the news broke earlier that co-writers JH Williams II AND W. Haden Blackman (and not just Williams, as some sites reported) had quit Batwoman due to editorial interference, it was clearly going to be a big issue for the day. What’s been most worrying THOUGH is how quickly people have attempted to spin this into a story about homophobia — rather than a story which is more accurately about editorial edict.Both are obviously issues, but they have different ramifications. By focusing on an issue which is only tangentially related to the real issue, we’re doing Batwoman’s creative team and even DC Comics a major disservice. This isn’t an outright attack on homosexuality, but an attack on creator-control. It’s important that we focus on what’s actually going on here, rather than escalating a false claim about DC as a company.
In the joint letter posted to their websites this morning, the co-writers specifically noted that their reason for leaving the book was because of editorial differences. They included several examples of such differences, which meant several of their storylines had to be altered – their planned Killer Croc origin storyline which had been in the works for months, their current arc on the series…. and the wedding between Batwoman and her fiancee Maggie Sawyer.
This has been the part of the letter most people have brought attention to. Yet when asked immediately afterwards by Andy Khouri, Williams made it clear that DC were unhappy with the MARRIAGE part of the storyline, rather than the GAY part.
This has been reiterated by DC themselves – when I asked them for comment, they sent the following response:
As acknowledged by the creators involved, the editorial differences with the writers of BATWOMAN had nothing to do with the sexual orientation of the character.
While DC has been guilty of many things, an anti-gay agenda hasn’t been one of them in recent years. Batwoman has been one of their most critically acclaimed books (making the creative change even tougher to take) winning several GLAAD awards along the way. While the gay character Bunker in Teen Titans hasn’t been without problematic portrayals, he was also an attempt to integrate the DCU.
On Twitter, the issue was discussed by Williams, journalist Andy Khouri and out writer Jim McCann:
While potential homophobia is a legit issue to question, it doesn’t seem to be the case, and it has diverted attention from what the real problem here would be – that DC appear to have an editorial system which is strangling creators, and forcing them to leave. Andy Diggle, Gail Simone, Joshua Hale Fialkov, Rob Liefeld and more have spoken at their unhappiness with DC’s editorial team over the last year, with the majority of them quitting books because of the problems. It’s got to the point where one prominent DC writer actually DMs his friends to say that his script hasn’t been edited.
Dark Horse’s Scott Allie also took to Twitter for a series of much-recommended posts about the subject, which you can find here. He points out that an anti-marriage policy isn’t a bad policy for a company to have – the problem is when editors don’t implement policy clearly. As has been stated by the creators but subsequently overlooked by many, the issue here is that DC’s editors allowed the story to move forward, when they knew ultimately it wouldn’t be allowed to go anywhere. As noted in conversation with Gail Simone:
While it’s tempting to dump on DC for everything they do, it’s important to stick to the subject here, a problem which is real and tangible, rather than a problem being trumpeted by various well-meaning people. LGBT representation is an important issue – but it’s a tangential aspect of this storyline, rather than the main focus.
By: Mark Miller,
on 5/24/2013
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Today, we have the pleasure of talking with N.Y. Times and USA Today best-selling author Hugh Howey. He is the author of the award-winning Molly Fyde Saga and I, Zombie, but is perhaps best known for Wool.
Woolintroduces readers to the Silo Saga and a ruined and toxic landscape, where a community exists in a giant silo underground, hundreds of stories deep. There, men and women live in a society full of regulations they believe are meant to protect them. Sheriff Holston, who has unwaveringly upheld the silo’s rules for years, unexpectedly breaks the greatest taboo of all: He asks to go outside.
His fateful decision unleashes a drastic series of events. An unlikely candidate is appointed to replace him: Juliette, a mechanic with no training in law, whose special knack is fixing machines. Now Juliette is about to be entrusted with fixing her silo, and she will soon learn just how badly her world is broken. The silo is about to confront what its history has only hinted about and its inhabitants have never dared to whisper. Uprising.
Woolis available in hard cover, paperback, eBook and audio book. It is on the fast track to be a major motion picture and, at last count, has been picked up by 28 countries for translation. Amidst this whirlwind of success, Hugh was nice enough to answer a few questions about the man behind the books.
Mark Miller: In meeting other authors, I have found that our life story can sometimes be as interesting as the ones we create. Can you tell us a little about your life? What did you do before you were an author? How did that help you become an author?
Hugh Howey: I’ve had numerous jobs and careers. My main gig was as a yacht captain, which allowed me to see quite a bit of the world, meet fascinating people, and get in some wild predicaments. I think each of those helped me be a better writer. Roofing for two years was a great way to daydream and also a great job for wanting one where you worked from home in your pajamas.
MM:Roofing in your pajamas probably doesn’t work too well, but you might be able to get away with it on a yacht. Life experience is key to writing and it sounds like you’ve had some good ones. What about your hobbies, pajama-clad or not, do they add to your writing in any way?
HH:I’m a nut for photography. It definitely adds to my writing. It teaches you to see the details in the world. You also learn to tell a story with a single snapshot.
MM:I believe you share some of your photography on Facebook. You definitely share your life. Being a world traveler and best-selling author, how different is that life now versus about a year ago?
HH:Not so different when it comes to work. But a year ago, I was living in the mountains of North Carolina. Last June, my wife and I moved to south Florida when she took a different job. So that’s changed quite a bit. I now see more sand and far less snow!
MM:Less snow is always good. I will say, at least snow melts. Sand always seems to be hanging around and winds up in some odd places. You traded the beautiful mountains of North Carolina for the beautiful waters of South Florida. Even with the move, it sounds like you are traveling as much as ever. With all the travel and book tours, like Germany and Australia, what do you miss most from your old life? Does your wife have any thoughts on the subject? Does it affect her in any way?
HH:I miss the steadiness of my writing routine. Travel makes writing difficult. I think my wife gets worn out from me being away from home so much. Since I work from home, I normally keep up with the cleaning and food prep. I also watch and entertain the dog. So it’s a lot more work for her when I’m gone. Plus, I think she misses me. A little.
MM:That is a very familiar routine to me, except for the globe-trotting. Maybe you should try adding some children to the mix…but let’s change the subject. Many consider Wool a must read. When you open a book, what do you consider a must read? What elements are you looking for to make it a must read?
HH:For me, I have to learn something. It has to expand my mind. I mostly read non-fiction, but I read a work recently that blew me away with its prose and plot. It’s called Lexicon by Max Barry, and it comes out in June. One of those books you want to read a second time.
MM:Max is an Australian author and is also known for his online political simulation game Nation States. It sounds like he will be making his mark soon. There are so many up and coming authors these days with changes in independent, digital and self-publishing. There are also a growing number of authors and aspiring authors that write fan fiction, Amazon recently made an announcement about it. You have even posted about Wool fan fiction and seem to encourage it. How do you feel about other writers creating stories in your world? Have you written any fan fiction? If so, can you name the franchise?
HH:I fully support it. Of course, I would never ask or expect anyone to write fan fiction in my world, but when people approached me about it, I gave it my full blessing. The idea of charging money for the fan fiction came from me. I just feel like artists should be bold enough to ask for a dollar for their hard work. And a lot of the fan fiction is better than the source material. I haven’t written any fan fiction, but it’s something I’m keen on now that I’ve seen it work the other way. My first foray might be a Dr. Who episode, just for fun. Maybe I’ll shop it to the studio and see what they have to say. :)
MM:I can picture it now – the TARDIS materializes in a cave; the Doctor and his companion walk out and discover they are at the bottom of an enormous spiral staircase. Or maybe Firefly? After all, you are a captain. Also, don’t think I’ll let your “fan fiction is better than the source material” comment go unnoticed. It is something I have seen from you on more than one occasion: you appear to be a modest, genuine person. It is refreshing. You are as much an author as you are a fan. Allowing for a fanboymoment, are there any established authors that you would like to see write a story in your franchise? Any with which you would like to co-write anything?
HH:Oh, I would hate to suggest that anyone write stories in my franchise. That would have to be up to them. If I co-wrote something with another author, it would ideally be my wife. I’m trying to convince her to publish some self-help shorts. She’s a psychologist with a gift for helping people, and books could reach a much wider audience.
MM:There’s that modesty again. You wear it well and you seem to have a great relationship with your wife. Isn’t that every husbands’ dream to write with his wife? Or at least every husband that is an author? I even have a concept when I can convince mine to join me. We have covered quite a bit already, but I wanted to rewind a little and ask have you always wanted to be an author? And looking forward, where do you see yourself in five years? Still writing or pursuing another goal?
HH:Yeah, this has always been a dream of mine. In five years, I see myself on a sailboat, sailing around the world. Writing as I go, of course.
MM:With Shiftclimbing the charts, it looks like your long term goals are coming sooner rather than later. As you try to hold your laptop steady, bobbing on the Caribbean waves, can readers expect more stories from the silo? What others stories are you looking forward to sharing with the world?
HH: There’s one more book coming out in the series entitled Dust. It will be out August 17th of this year. And then it’s on to other stories.
MM:Every good story deserves to be a trilogy, at least. Whatever those other stories might be (hopefully one Dr. Who episode), this is only the beginning for you. Congratulations on everything so far and thank you for taking the time to be here today. I would like to end with a fun question: If you could be any fictional character, who and why?
HH:I’d be Han Solo. It’s everything I knew from being a yacht captain, but in outer space. That’s the job for me. With a Wookie for a best friend, which is like a dog, but better. A dog you can talk to and play chess with. Sign me up!
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By: Kirsty,
on 1/28/2013
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By John Knowles
If you become wealthier tomorrow, say through winning the lottery, would you spend more or less working than you do now? Standard economic models predict you would work less. In fact a substantial segment of American society has indeed become wealthier over the last 40 years — married men. The reason is that wives’ earnings now make a much larger contribution to household income than in the past. However married men do not work less now on average than they did in the 1970s. This is intriguing because it suggests there is something important missing in economic explanations of the rise in labor supply of married women over the same period.
One possibility is that what we are seeing here are the aggregate effects of bargaining between spouses. This is plausible because there was a substantial narrowing of the male-female wage gap over the period. The ratio of women’s to men’s average wages; starting from about 0.57 in the 1964-1974 period, rose rapidly to 0.78 in the early 1990s. Even if we smooth out the fluctuations, the graph shows an average ratio of 0.75 in the 1990s, compared to 0.57 in the early 1970s.
The closing of the male-female wage gap suggests a relative improvement in the economic status of non-married women compared to non-married men. According to bargaining models of the household, we should expect to see a better deal for wives—control over a larger share of household resources – because they don’t need marriage as much as they used to. We should see that the share of household wealth spent on the wife increases relative to that spent on the husband.
Bargaining models of household behavior are rare in macroeconomics. Instead, the standard assumption is that households behave as if they were maximizing a fixed utility function. Known as the “unitary” model of the household, a basic implication is that when a good A becomes more expensive relative to another good B, the ratio of A to B that the household consumes should decline. When women’s wages rose relative to men’s, that increased the cost of wives’ leisure relative to that of husbands. The ratio of husbands’ leisure time to that of wives should therefore have increased.
In the bargaining model there is an additional potential effect on leisure: as the share of wealth the household spends on the wife increases, it should spend more on the wife’s leisure. Therefore the ratio of husband’s to wife’s leisure could increase or decrease, depending on the responsiveness of the bargaining solution to changes in the relative status of the spouses as singles.
To measure the change in relative leisure requires data on unpaid work, such as time spent on grocery shopping and chores around the house. The American Time-Use Survey is an important source for 2003 and later, and there also exist precursor surveys that can be used for some earlier years. The main limitation of these surveys is that they sample individuals, not couples, so one cannot measure the leisure ratio of individual households. Instead measurement consists of the average leisure of wives compared to that of husbands. The paper also shows the results of controlling for age and education. Overall, the message is clear; the relative leisure of married couples was essentially the same in 2003 as in 1975, about 1.05.
One can explain the stability of the leisure ratio through bargaining; the wife gets a higher share of the marriage’s resources when her wage increases, and this offsets the rise in the price of her leisure. This raises a set of essentially quantitative questions: Suppose that marital bargaining really did determine labor supply how big are the mistakes one would make in predicting labor supply by using a model without bargaining? To provide answers, I design a mathematical model of marriage and bargaining to resemble as closely as possible the ‘representative agent’ of canonical macro models. I use the model to measure the impact on labor supply of the closing of the gender wage gap, as well as other shocks, such as improvements to home -production technology.
People in the model use their share of household’s resources to buy themselves leisure and private consumption. They also allocate time to unpaid labor at home to produce a public consumption good that both spouses can enjoy together. We can therefore calibrate the model to exactly match the average time-allocation patterns observed in American time-use data. The calibrated model can then be used to compare the effects of the economic shocks in the bargaining and unitary models.
The results show that the rising of women’s wages can generate simultaneously the observed increase in married women’s paid work and the relative stability of that of the husbands. Bargaining is critical however; the unitary model, if calibrated to match the 1970s generates far too much of an increase in the wife’s paid labor, and far too large a decline in that of the men; in both cases, the prediction error is on the order of 2-3 weekly hours, about 10% of per-capita labor supply. In terms of aggregate labor, the error is much smaller because these sex-specific errors largely offset each other.
The bottom line therefore is that if, as is often the case, the research question does not require us to distinguish between the labor of different household or spouse types, then it may be reasonable to ignore bargaining between spouses. However if we need to understand the allocation of time across men and women, then models with bargaining have a lot to contribute.
John Knowles is a professor of economics at the University of Southampton. He was born in the UK and schooled in Canada, Spain and the Bahamas. After completing his PhD at the University of Rochester (NY, USA) in 1998, he taught at the University of Pennsylvania, and returned to the UK in 2008. His current research focuses on using mathematical models to analyze trends in marriage and unmarried birth rates in the US and Europe. He is the author of the paper ‘Why are Married Men Working So Much? An Aggregate Analysis of Intra-Household Bargaining and Labour Supply’, published in The Review of Economics Studies.
The Review of Economic Studies aims to encourage research in theoretical and applied economics, especially by young economists. It is widely recognised as one of the core top-five economics journals, with a reputation for publishing path-breaking papers, and is essential reading for economists.
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Bamboo
In a Chinese village, Bamboo, a simple farmer, falls in love with a peasant girl, Ming, and soon they are married. To celebrate the wedding, the newlyweds plant a grove of bamboo. When Bamboo goes to the New World to seek his fortune, his new wife is left behind to till the fields. Ming soon discovers that the bamboo she brought as a gift to her new husband is magic...
If you liked this, try:
Liang and the Magic Paintbrush
One Grain of Rice
The Lost Horse
The Magic Tapestry
Seven Chinese Sisters
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Steve Novak,
on 6/30/2012
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In honor of the long awaited release of Goats Eat Cans Volume 2, Goats Eat Cans Volume 1 is completely and totally free as a Kindle download for three days!
Three days!
Three measly days!
For three days this thing won't cost you anything more than the time of your life that you'll eventually waste reading it!
For three days you can take money from my pocket and food from my table!
For three days you can rip me off and feel good about it because I'm asking you to do it!
Hell, I'm begging you to do it! I'm on my hands in knees in a leather outfit that leaves little to the imagination with my pasty white cheeks in the air, and I'm just begging to be spanked. Hit me damn it! Hit me and watch my ass ripple like the midsection of the world's most unattractive belly dancer!
CLICK HERE and punish me like the sad excuse for a man that I am! You know you want to.
Oh, and when you're done with that, maybe you could CLICK HERE and plunk down a couple bucks for Volume 2 to thank me.
Crazy ass-obsessed cheapskates.
By: Hazel Mitchell,
on 5/5/2012
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Illustration Friday and today's warm up sketch.
Toodles!
Hazel
I know I'm a day behind with the posts. No worries, I'll be all caught up by Sunday.
Today is my parents' wedding anniversary. Thirty-five years and still going strong. They're high school sweethearts, which means they've actually been together longer than 35 years. From what they tell me, their relationship started out as friendship and progressed into something more.
Thirty-five years is a LONG time. Not all couples make it that long. According to statistics, only 50% (or some high percentage like that) of married couples stay together. I am so glad my parents are a part of the group that has stayed together. Although their mushiness is something kids - even grown kids - would rather not witness from their parents, I'm glad to see they're still in love. I must admit, their mushiness is kinda cute. But don't you DARE tell them I said that.
They've made mistakes in their marriage; some I know...some I don't know. BUT I still consider them to be models for what a strong, godly marriage is supposed to look like. Watching my parents, I learned how important it is for couples to put God first in their relationship. I learned how a real man treats his wife and how a wife can be submissive without being a doormat. My father treats my mother like a queen. He's very protective of her...of all his girls (Mama, my sister, and I). My future hubby has some big shoes to fill. My mother knows when she needs to step back, but at the same time, she'll let Daddy know when he's wrong. She knows when to submit, even when she doesn't want to. We joke and say Mama is really the one who runs the house, but make no mistake. My dad is the head of the household as God intended him to be.
I pray that, when my time comes to be married and have a family, my marriage is as strong as my parents. No, each generation is supposed to be better than the previous, right? So, I pray my marriage is even stronger than my parents'...and that's pretty strong.
I absolutely adore my parents and am so blessed God chose me to be their child. My parents are all kinds of awesome and they deserve every good thing that comes their way.
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Shari Lyle-Soffe ,
on 4/2/2012
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By: Mark Miller,
on 10/12/2011
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I am involved with a new Christian radio station preparing to go on the air in Central Florida. As this is a non-profit, it will rely heavily on volunteers and pledges.
WTYG 91.5 FM will broadcast out of Sparr, FL, but we still need a little help. Maybe you've heard of Kickstarter? It's a great website for fundraisers of all sorts. Well, we started a campaign and you can get to it at this link:
Besides the satisfaction of helping spread a good message, I wanted to give you an extra incentive. We all know money is tight these days, but if you can spare a little for a good cause, then I want to share my writing with you.
For anybody that donates $5 or more, I will send you not one, not two, but three eBooks!
0 Comments on Getting On The Air as of 1/1/1900
28 years ago today I began my longest relationship. We were together almost 19 years, meaning we broke up in June of 2002. We stayed together about 17 years too long for our mental health. But we are still friends, still bound together in deep ways. We were friends for 3 years before we became lovers, and we would have married had marriage been allowed between two women. And now we would be divorced. Divorced friends. We share the same values, same politics, same ideals. We kept house alike, both love animals, enjoy the same movies. And we make each other laugh. We had many good times, unfortunately they were outweighed by the anger.
We never cheated on each other. There was no alcohol, or drugs. No physical abuse. Well, almost, a couple of times, but we got that in check. But there was emotional abuse and plenty of it. So we saw couple counselors for years. We learned all the communication devices. We tried living apart. For years.
And finally I called an end to trying. After a couple of years I tried with someone else for a few months -- and got my heart broken. I don't want to try again. I think I'm too old. Or maybe I tried too long and too hard for too many years. So today, I'm going to celebrate the anniversary of the day I embarked on a great adventure of love. It was a rocky road, and it didn't last as a marriage, but the friendship endured. That in itself is worth celebrating. Cheers!
By: Mark Miller,
on 8/14/2011
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I have, in my writing career, come to be associated with some truly amazing people. The list is too long to name them all and I wouldn't want to forget anybody. Let me say these are not only talented people in the world of books (authors, publishers, promoters), but also some terrifically kind and generous folks. These are people that work hard and always have a positive word.
There is one person I would like to single out and call my friend, although we have never met face to face. Giovanni Gelati
is a blogger, book reviewer, author, publisher, promoter and graphic artist. He is affirming, generous and supportive, but also aggressive in helping his friends/authors with their promotions.
You may find his reviews of my work to be a little bias based on what I said above, but I am humbled by his kind words of my two most recent releases.
Daniel's Lot
is my adaptation of the faith-based motion picture about a man tested in his personal and professional life. He turns to his faith and finds an amazing answer. The movie is available on DVD
and soon to be on syndicated cable TV.
Meant To Be
is the debut story for Mark Miller's One, a spiritual anthology of true stories. The series, which I am honored to headline for Trestle Press, will explore beliefs from around the world and how we all must live on this one planet.
You can read the review for Daniel's Lot at this link:
Gelati's Scoop Reviews Daniel's Lot
You can read the review
By: Mark Miller,
on 8/8/2011
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0 Comments on The Yin and Yang of Love as of 1/1/1900
Yeah, there is nothing quite so personal as a good inside joke. I wish I always had time to pay proper homage to the important folks. Someday.
Busted? No, BUSTED! :D
Ditto on the commercial greeting cards…BUT! You can’t beat a Hallmark store for a bit of time-out humor if you travel a lot. If I have an hour or two between appointments, I will pop into a card store and read the humor cards to give myself a calorie-free perk me up.
Capital B. You are correct, sir.
That’s not a bad idea. I ink most of the greeting card stores around here have closed, though.