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The Interests, Musings and Philosophy of Pookie the Cat
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1. Famous!

Hey dere my Kitty Friends!  I’s finally gots controls of a computer, and just in times, too.  Staff has published three ebooks featuring de mostest handsome and clever and funny and wise and inspirational kitty boy of all times….ME!  Yup!  De books feature my Antics and Attitudes, Birdie Encounters, and Haiku for de Holidays.  Check out dese covers:

kitty boy antics

kitty boy birdies

kitty boy holidays

Yup, dat be one handsome kitty.  Heh heh heh.

Will dis new-found fame affect me?  Of course not.  I plans to be de same hard-working and humble kitty I’s always been.   I plans to continue my difficult job of controlling a nearly uncontrollable staff, sleeping, eating, playing and grooming.  I has my needs of course, as any kitty does, so staff will still need to tend to dem.  Perhaps as de books find dere way to peoples’ Kindle devices and such, staff may be manipulated, um, inspired to provides me wit more of my favorite treats and toys.

I’s considering more books dey can upload on dis Amazon ting, as well as calendars featuring a whole year of my handsome self.   De work never ends, eh?!  I tinks a nap is in order.  Meanwhiles, click on de links above and lets me know what you tinks.  Mwow for now, my Kitty Friends!

 


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2. Wanted-Alive, At Least For Now…

WANTED:

Common House Mouse (hereafter called de mousie)

Crime:  Bein’ in my house

Dat’s right mousie, you’s on notice.  I be seein’ you hidin’ under de couch, whiskers a-twitchin’.  I can smells you.  You can be scamperin’ arounds under dere on your tiny little footies as much as you wants, but know dis:  I’s ready to spend de whole night stalkin’ you.  You mades a BIG mistake comin’ in to dis here house, cuz dis be MY house. 

We can play dis hidin’-stalkin’ game for a bit, but den I wants to play de catch-you-and-bat-you-around-and-let-you-go-and-catch-you-again game.  And den when you don’t play no mores, you will be a giftie for de Staff.  Yup.  Dat be your fate, mousie.  Pull up your big mousie pants and come out to play.  Heh heh heh.

Dis kinda reminds me of one of my favorites B. Kliban’s kitties, who sez:

“Love to eat dem mousies,

Mousies what I love to eat.

Bite they little heads off,

Nibble on they tiny feet.”

Mouse photo credit

 


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3. You Can’t Take De Jungle Outta De Kitty

Mrrrrwow, my fellow jungle kitties!  Sometimes I find myself back in de jungle where all kitties has spent a life or two of dere nine.  De fresh air, plenty of prey to stalk, de dense vegetation.

My Staff tinks I just be pretendin’.  Which just proves, of course, de superiority of de kitty race.  Yup.  How can dey understands what it is to be wild and free?  How can dey understand how it is to go hungry unless prey is stalked and taken?  Sometimes I just needs to roar!  Mrrrrrwwwwoooow!

Do you tinks I be kiddin’?  I may not be livin’ in de jungle right now, but I still has my ways of being king.  I tinks I might just chew on your tootbrush tonight.  Yup.  Right after I has some chow and takes a nap on your pillow. 

G’night my fellow jungle kitties.  Get out dere and roar!


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4. Purrsuasion

Mwow, my kitty friends!  Let’s chat ’bout gaining control of de computer.  It can be hard to commandeer de staff’s computer so you can blog or Facebook or check your email or website.  For some reason, dey be tinkin’ dey have dibs.  Whatever. 

My good friend Anne, in Scotland posted dis video de udder day.  It be Simon’s Cat(!) demonstrating exactly what I wants to share wit you.

Heh, heh, heh….dat Simon’s Cat!  He be so funny!  Anyways, Let’s be talkin’ ’bout tings dat staff be callin’ “irritating tactics” and what I be calls Purrsuasion.

  • Mwowing:  Dis be de easiest.  Go into a room where staff and computer aren’t and mwow.  A lot.  Use different pitches and volume.  Staff will yell your name and ask you to be quiet or come into de room where dey are–don’t do it.  Dey will eventually get up to see what be buggin’ you and dat’s where you dash in and switch users on de computer. 
  • Walking on staff:  Hop up on de chair or couch or whatever staff be sittin’ on and walk back and fort and back and fort over dey lap.  Be sure to let your tail brush across dere face.  Sometimes stop and lay on dey hands to make de typing difficult.  Staff will give up and set de computer aside to snuggle wit you.  Dat’s when you hop down and go fur de computer.
  • Chewing:  Chew on de side of de computer.  Chew on anyting stickin’ out of de USB port.  Pretend to chew on de cord–don’t actually chew on de cord my kitty friends, dat be dangerous!  Again, staff may give up becuz you be so pestery and set de computer aside.
  • Loud disturbance:  Go to a different room from staff and knock someting over.  Staff will yell and come to investigate.  Opening cupboard doors works, too.  Especially if you open dem just a bit and let dem slam closed repeatedly.
  • Visual distraction:  Hop up on some place where staff sez you’re not supposed to be in a place where staff can see you.  Dey will yell at you to get down–don’t.  Make dem set de computer aside and come “scare” you off dat place.

You can be see dat dese purrsuasions work, cuz I be a-bloggin’!  Heh heh heh!  What  techniques do you be usin’ to get your way, my kitty friends?   Mwow!

 

 

 


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5. New and Improved!

Hey, my kitty friends!  I be updated my blog wit a new look!  I picked de grey color to match my handsome self.  What do you be tink?!

I hasn’t blogged in a very, very long time, and it be my goal to be not let dat happen any mores.  I’s had a pretty good summer so far, wit de catchin’ of de mousies, de stalkin’ of de birdies, and de taunting and manipulatin’ of de staff.  I has a new lair up in de high reaches of de house:

Dis be in a corner over-looking de big drop-off behind a speaker tingie.  I be hidden, but in a purrfect place to spy on de staff.  I can hear what be happenin’ downstairs–like when my chow bowl be gettin’ filled, and I can be keepin’ an eye on dem if dey be up here too.  In de mornings, dere be a sunbeam right here.  I be tryin’ to lay down a nice layer of my furs to be makin’ dis place even more comfy, but de staff keeps takin’ it.  Whatever.  (Notice de hairs I placed on de speaker tingie just dis morning…heh heh heh!)  I am Pook.  I sleeps where I wants and puts my furs dere to claim my territory.  Yup.

I hopes you be havin’ a good ole summer too.  Later, my kitty friends!  Mwow!


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6. De Feline Art of Supervision

Mwow my kitty friends!  Dere are may ways a kitty controls and manipulates dere staff in de efficient operation of de household.  One of de most importantest be supervising de things you take interests in.  I be very interested in anything dat involves water, so I’s using dis as today’s example.

Yesterday, staff went to de cupboard and got out de green pitcher to water de plants.  Plants be very needy and must be watered just so or dey will die; AND water should not be wasted, especially when it could be shared wit de kitty in de house.  SO…in order to make sure de plants get what dey need and I gets what I wants, I make it my habit to follow staffs around when dey be watering.  I make sure I sees how water is placed in de pitcher and exactly where it goes in de plant’s pot.  I put my face as close to de water as I can.  NOTE:  Dis involves some risk of getting water poured on you, but it must be done!  I also be sure dat staff is properly intimidated into doing dere job correctly by always keeping a superior scowl on my face….like dis:

Notice de icy stare, de look dat implies ‘you best be doin dis right or dere will be consequences.’  Use dis pic to practice dis look on your own, my kitty friends.  Practice dis until you can do dis without thinking.  You’ll be glad to be havin’ dis skill to keep your staff running your household efficiently.

I hope dis post has been helpful to you, my kitty friends.  Please share other techniques you finds helpful in gettin your way….I mean techniques you be usin to supervise de efficient operation of your household.  Yup, dat’s it.  Mwow til later!


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7. The fog comes on little cat feet…

Mwow my kitty friends!  I hasn’t blogged in a whiles.  It not be my faults, though.  Staff left me here for days with only temporary staffs to check on me and sees to my needs (which are many!).  I should have had tons of times to be bloggin’. 

But no. 

Staff left her computer lid closed.  While fog can come on cat’s feet, cat’s feet cannots open de lid of a closed laptops.  I be tried everythings to be openin’ it….I be chewed on its, I be mwowed menacingly at its, I be puffed up and be lookin’ threatenin’, I dropped my toys on its, I be even took a naps on it.  None of these things will open a closed laptops.  Who knew? 

I’s had more den a few naps and–look there’s a birdie!

What was I sayin’?  Oh, yup…I’s been distracted since de time dey left and de time dey gots backs, so now I don’t even knows WHAT I wanted to blogs about.  Mwowhatever. 

Sometimes random thoughts is better.  Here.  I be sharin’ de rest of de poem abouts de cat’s feet.  Dat Carl Sandburg…he must have been a great staff for some lucky kitty friend to be writin’ so nice about de cat feet.

Fog  by Carl Sandburg

The fog comes

on little cat feet.

It sits looking

over harbor and city

on silent haunches

and then moves on.

There.  See hows de kitty is like de fog?  Kitties be de perfect subject for all kinds of great literatures.  I be sharin’ more of de great literary works about cat-hood in future posts.  Mwow til thens, my kitty friends!


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8. Helplessly Hoping

Mwow, my fellow thirsty kitty friends.  Dis be a picture of me taken by Staff who obviously has no empathy what-so-ever.  I be patiently waitin’ by de sinks for a drinks.  Staff KNOWS I’s preferin’ to drinks there, rather than go all the way out to de kitchen to my water bowl.  I’s be feelin’ a bit put out by dis, and as I do sometimes, I be borrowin’ some music and alterin’ de lyrics to suit de moment:

Helplessly hoping,

His staff hovers nearby.

Awaiting a word,

Gasping at glimpses

of generous true spirit

He leaps, wishing he could

wit his paws, turn de faucet on hisself.

Wordlessly watching

He waits by de sink

and wonders

at de empty space inside

Heartlessly helping hisself to a snarky look

He scowls

Are staff comin’ to helps or not?

He is one kitty

He is too thirsty

He is three minutes waiting

Staff is for de turning on of de faucet!

OK….so it don’t exactly match CSN&Y’s lyrics, but you gets de picture.  (Apologies to CSN&Y–find de true lyrics and a Youtube video of Helplessly Hoping HERE)

So, my fellow kitty friends, if you be have a better technique to gets your ways wit drinkin’ from where YOU wants too, lets me know.  Mwow for now.


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9. Pesky Pookie (heh heh heh!)

Mwow my Kitty Friends!  I be writin’ today from a very satisfied place. I totally messed wit staff today!  While under de guise of sweet, pathetic, you-left-me-downstairs-all-alone-ness, I mwowed pathetically from beneaths the balcony at staff on de computers upstairs.  I was invited ups of course, and I was ever so “thankful” and rubbed on staff’s legs for a bit…..but den!  I hops up on de chairs behinds her and snagged de jeans label off de back of her jeans and ran offs wit it!  Heh heh heh!  She comes runnin’ afters me and takes it away from me–but no matter, I has other plans.  She goes back to her bloggin’ or whatever and I goes and hides under other staff’s desk an’ starts to noisily chews on stuffs…heh heh heh….she has to gets up to sees what I’s doin’ and so I’s come out from de desks and I’s like, “What?  I’s not doin’ anything…”  Heh heh heh!  I keeps up dis kinds of pestering until she chases me downstairs…..at least that’s what she thinks she did.  I was just ready for some nappin’ and prefer to nap on de bed, so I left.  Pestering staffs is an art, but it makes me sleepy.  How do you pester your staffs, my Kitty Friends?  Let me know–I’ll haves a looks at de comments after I naps for a bit.  Mw–y-a-w-n–ow…..


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10. Mysteries…..hmmmmmwow?

Hmmmmmwow, my Kitty Friends.  Lately I’s been a-ponderin’ some perplexin’ situations.  No matter how longs I ponder, I’s can’t seem to come to the sense of these things:

  • Why does staff not want me to drink from de sinks when theys washin’ up?
  • Why does no water come outs of de faucets when I licks dem at night?
  • Why does staff keep movin’ my water dish back to de wall after I’s positioned it where I likes it–in the middle of de hallway?
  • Why are de birdies outsides where I can’t get dem?
  • Why do we has to has glass in de windows?
  • Why does staff get perturbed when she’s fillin’ my chow bowl (just cuz I likes to eats at de same times)?
  • Why does toys end up backs in de basket after I’s placed dem all over do house in convenient places?
  • Why does de birdies taunt me so?
  • Why does staff not likes it whens I runs betweens their feets when they’s tryin’ to gets somewhere?

Ah my Kitty Friends, I just can’t figures these things outs.   Hmmmmwow.  Do you thinks it be because I falls asleeps when I’s a-pondering?  If yous knows de answers to any of these things, please comment backs.  I’m feelins likes a naps right nows……mwow til later!


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11. Sustaina-kitteh-bility

Mwow all you socially responsible kitty friends!  I’s been playin’ wit the cap off of a water bottle lately.  It be roll-y and it be slidin’ all over, and it be havin’ a scooped out place I’s can be pickin’ up in my teeth or wit my claws, it be makin’ a cool noise if I drops it offs the bed….it be pretty fun!  So I gots to thinkin’ abouts all my toys, and some of my bestest ones are bottle caps, rubber bands and pieces of string.  Don’t get me wrongs–I has a serious appreciations for dem Kitty Hoots toys wit de catnips in ‘ems, but I’s a socially responsible kitty and wanted yous to know dat you don’t needs store-bought toys to be havin’ funs–sometimes de mostest funs are had wit things you just finds arounds the house.  It be good to re-purr-pose some things, y’know my kitty friends?  It be good for the kitty and it be good for the earth.  (Just be sures Staffs knows to still gets you a new catnip-y toys sometimes.)  Mwow.


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12. A New Kitty Friend

Mwow my Kitty Friends!  I’s was playin arounds on the couch last nights and staff was on Facebooks.  She has made friends with a kitty in Singapore named SatsugaiCat.  At firsts I was a bit jealous, y’know?  But thens, I was reading what this SatsugaiCat writes, and she is one wise kitty.  I’s thinkin’ if I’s ever in Singapore I would be visiting this kitty for sures!  Until thens, I’ll be following SatsugaiCat as her fan.  Maybes she’ll be my friend, too!  (Or as she says, “fwen”)  Here, Kitty Friends–be SatsugaiCat’s fan  and while you’re at it, be my Facebook friend, too!   Mwow til later!  Sees you on the interwebs!


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13. Cat Royale


Mwow all my kitty friends and loyal subjects of the realm.  I’s blogging today from the highest vantage point to date…the new second-story tower of my castle.  Staff and they friends has been working on this project for some time now, and I must say, it pleases the King!  Grey-haired staff has been so kind as to produce a throne befitting my royal status.  Oh, he claims it is his, passed on to him by his father (whatever); but as you view the photo below I’s thinkin’ you’ll be agreein’ with me–it is MINE!  I sleeps here, I ponders here, I naps here, I rule from here.  Do you has your own throne, my kitty friends?  If not, it is high time to claim what is rightfully yours.   So sayeth the king of the realm…..Mwow for now!  (you may imagine me waving a kingly wave, the bottom of my paw facing me)

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14. Secrets…..


Long time no mwow, my kitty-friends!  Here are my excuses: I’s been one lazy kitty boy.  It’s cold.  They’s been lots of constructions goin’ on at my place.  It’s cold.  I’s just not been inspired lately.  It’s cold.  So, why’s I breaking my long silence?  Let me tells you a secret…..

You kitties know that we has our secret ways of manipulating our staffs, and that staffs are oblivious to these secrets.  You knows, when we do stuff for what we really wants, and for making them thinks we wants somethings else.  Lately, one of my staff has figured out one of my secret manipulations.  I’s don’t know whether to be disappointed or pleased.  I’s made it a habits to jump ups on the bathroom counter and get all comfy in one of the sinks.  Sometimes I evens licks the faucets–making staff think I’s thirsty.  but I’s not thirsty.  Nope.  I’s wanting to be cuddled.  (Now don’t you go gettin’ all self-righteous on me about kitties not really needin’ that sorts of thing–I see ya smirkin’ and winkin’ at each others.)   So, as I was sayin’…Staff figured out I wasn’t thirsty and picks me up and cuddles me for a bit.  After she put me down I’s didn’t know what to do, so I just wondered off like I’s had business elsewhere….I’s a-wonderin’ if staff knows about any other secrets….hmmmmm.  How ’bout you, kitty-friends?  Any of you have a similar experience?  Comment back and lets me know, K?  Mwow til the next time!

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15. I has my needs, y’know


Mwow.  Just Mwow.  Y’ know I’s not a complainer, my kitty friends…so you’ll be understandin’  the seriousness of what I must now say:  What’s up with all the early morning noise, scary machines, strangers, and…..worst of all….dogs!?!?  Right outside my window perch.  All summer.  First, staff got a case of the crazies and tore up the flowers where the little birdies would come and play–result? No birdies outside my perch.  Then, a stranger in a scary yellow machine comes and digs a huge hole–result? No birdies, and so much noise, my perch is unusable for napping.  Nearly every morning I’s awakened by the irritating tinkling of dog tags and then the running and barking and growling–right outside every window as they chases each other and pesters lizards and bugs–result? No birdies.  So.  I says again.  What. Is. Up. With. That?  I’s don’t think it’s too much to ask to have my tasty little birdie treats to stalk and watch outside my window perch.  I has my needs.  I’s thinkin’ it’s time to stop the insanity while there’s still a chance the little birdies will come around, but I’s not holding out much hope. Staff has some sort of plans for the big hole, they’s been talking to the dog’s people about it.  Seems like I’s gonna be denied my birdies just so staff can have something called ‘addition’…..mwowsighmwow….In the meanswhile,  I’s gonna thrash…er…I mean, play with a kitty hoots birdie for now….they’s pretty fun.  I’s likin’ one with pink feather-y stuff on its head right now….

birdieSee–like this one, ‘cept mine is a bit, um, “used”.  Check out one for yourself at Fat Cat, Inc–Dem Dum Birdies:  http://www.fatcatinc.com/html_site/1_dem.shtml   Hey, thanks for lettin’ me get that off my chest, my kitty friends.  I’s feelin’ a bit better now.  Mwow til next time!

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16. Mwowin’ in the Wind


Groovy Greetings all you cats and kittens!  I’s got some great news!  Staff has built me my very own concert hall!  They’s callin’ it a front porch, but I’s here to tell ya that the accoustics are amazin’!  I’s been out there a-yowlin’—I means a-singin’ and my music carries all through the house and out into the yard!  I’s startin’ ta think of myself as the feline Bob Dylan, yup a Kitty Troubador, folk-mwower extraordinaire!  Check out what I plan to open my concert with:

How many birds must a cat stalk down,                                                                         

before you can call him a cat?

Yes, and how many times must the birdie land,

Before he lands in my mouth?

Yes, and how long will treats be kept in a canister,

before canisters are banned?

The answer, my kitty friends, is mwowin’ in the wind’

The answer is mwowin’ in the wind.

I’ll be a-mwowin’ nightly from the windowsill of my new concert hall.  Staff has already been askin’ for encores!  I’s hopin’ to get a band together and go on the road instead of goin’ to the “kitty hotel” next time staff travels.  Thinkin’ I’ll cut ya loose now, my kitty friends, to work on some new songs.

Peace, love and mwows,

Pook ‘Dylan’

(Apologies and thanks to the real Bob Dylan–actual lyrics for Blowin’ in the Wind accessed from http://orad.dent.kyushu-u.ac.jp/dylan/blowwind.html )

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17. Zen Cat Wisdom


pook31

 

 

Ohmmmwow, my kitty friends.  I’s in a meditative mood.  As such I has meditated on how we kitties can enlighten the rest of the world.  Breathe deeply, and contemplate the following:

  1. Make your own fun.    This one was inspired by my talent for hiding toys from myself and then stalking them.  I never gets tired of it!
  2. Try new things.     Yesterday, I tried whapping a mousie toy with my back feet instead of the usual….it was waaaay fun!
  3. Let people know what you want.     Much as you wish they could read your mind and anticipate your every need, staff can’t know what you needs unless you tells ‘em.  I always get my nibbles and treats this way–right when I wants ‘em.
  4. Do everything with passion.       Yup.  If you play with passion, it’s always fun, even if you end up bonking your head on a table leg while chasing your toys.
  5. Appreciate the simple things.     One of my most favoritest toys is a piece of yarn.  Yup, just a green string.  Didn’t come from some fancy store; staff just cut it from a ball and gave it to me.
  6. Find a sunbeam and take a nap.     Naps aren’t just for pre-schoolers.  Everyone can obtain a better outlook toward life with a quick (pardon the obvious pun) catnap.
  7. Purr everyday.     There is always at least one thing, happening or person you can be thankful for everyday.  Take a minute or two and meditate on this gratitude and purr.

Live in the moment, my kitty friends.  Ohmmmmmmmwow………

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18. Be My Valentine, Staff


Mwow, but’s been a long time since I’s blogged!  I’s so very busy makin’ sure them birdies know I’m here, keepin’ my staff in line, playin’ with my toys and sleepin’…..I guess time has just gotten away from me. 

Since it’s bein so close to Valentine’s Day and all, I thought it’d be nice to write a post in appreciation of one of my staff.  So.  I’m appreciatin’ her because of a new toy and game she made up just for me!  She got this toy from Santa in her stocking, it looks like this:

swankiesA sort of clear plastic-y container with little Chrismas tree decorated papery things inside.  I thinks she realized that Santa meant to put it in MY stocking, cuz she has made this game for me with it:  she hides it on the book shelf next to the bed, and then I sniffs around for it.  When I finds it, I chews on it a bit and then I carry it around the house for her to see that I found it!  Then, she hides it again and I finds it again, and over and over and over!  Sometimes, when she takes it from me to hide it again, she chases me around and pretends to be mad that I found it, and pretends like they’s really hers!  She even ”scolds” me, sayin’ to “leave those alone!  Those are MY tissues!” –heh, heh, heh.  She really is good staff!  I know she respects my intelligence and detection abilities, cuz she hid it really good today….I hasn’t found it yet, but I will!  In fact, I’s off to search a bitty bit more before my afternoon nap.  Mwow for now, my kitty friends!

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19. Some of my Favorite Things


Mwow all my kitty friends!  “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens….”  Whatever…I’ll be addin’ a new line to that one: Catnip in mousies and seafood in crunchies!  Yup, I must tells you about some of my fav gifties from Christmas this year.  Santa left me lots of toys in my stocking…but I must say my fav of these would have to be the Kong Natural Mice:  White mousie is my fav of the two.  Staff was pleased, cuz these mousies is all natural–no toxic dyes or materials.  Natural-Schmatural–I’m lovin’ the catnip inside and the light-weight bat-around-the-house playability of these mousies.  MWOW!!!  Find ‘em at your fav pet store or check out their site: http://www.kongcompany.com/worlds_best.html  The only thing that would make these mousies better would be if there was a way to make them come back out of closed closet doors or out from under the stove……

Sunny, my kitty-cuz, sent me new treats from the beach!  Sunny lives in the San Diego area, and is an expert on all things beachin’.  Here be my new fav treats:  Friskies Party Mix Beachside Crunch:  I loves the mix of shapes and flavor variety (shrimp, crab and tuna) of seafood yumminess!  I even loves the names those clever people at Friskies gave the shapes–’specially the fishie-shaped one–they calls it a shrimpie!  ROTFM (Rollin’ on the floor mwowin’)!  Check out your fav pet store/grocery store for these, too, or check out the Friskies site:  http://www.friskies.com/Cat-Treats/Party-Mix-Beachside-Crunch/Default.aspx for more info on ingredients and where to buy ‘em.  These treats are SOOO good, I requests ‘em whenever I sees staff headin’ in the direction of their storage canister!  Staff thinks I’m being pushy…whatever–Oh! They’re headin’ there now–gotta go!  Mwow for now!

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20. Handy Holiday Do’s and “Don’ts”


Mwow all you kitties out there!  I’s been thinkin’ a lot during this holiday season and has come up with a list of things you should absolutely do and things you’s should think about just a bitty bit first….we’ll call those “don’ts”, but you knows what I mean.

Do’s:

  • pay attention to all rattling sounds–might be treats or chow for you!
  • inspect anything wrapped–think catnip.
  • purr a bit more than usual, hang with your staff a bit more–insures a more abundant season for you, if you knows what I’ma sayin’.
  • rid house of any live mousie friends–see above reason.
  • Take advantage of playing with wrapping paper before it gets picked up–Staff is more patient with this if it happens after packages are UNwrapped…if you try this WHILE gifts are being wrapped, you may want to move this to the “Don’t” list–staff patience will be thin.

“Don’ts”

  • beware of getting to close to staff wrapping gifts–I was just playin’ with some ribbon (so shinycurlybouncy!) that happened to be being attached to a package, and staff threatened to curl my whiskers!
  • eating tinsel can have dire consequences–nuff said.
  • playing with toys around stoves and fridges can be dangerous–staff cooking will not be watching for you and may nearly step on you, toys can become lodged under appliances–staff loses patience after the first few rescues.

Hope that comes in handy for ya.  Please submit your do’s and “don’ts” in the comments–I’ll publish my favs.  I’s got me quite a few new toys to stalk, thrash and play with.  Stay tuned for my fav-o-rite gifts O the Season!  Stay warm my kitty friends!

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21. Help Roice Hurst


Mwow all my kitty friends out there!  I’ll bet some of you are like me and found your staff after being in an animal shelter.  Y’know the staff at Roice Hurst, where I was temporarily, are really super nice.  They provide a fantastic place for all the cats there, with towers and scratching posts and friends to play with.  They are quite attentive and spend a great deal of their time supporting the fragile egos of those of us who were homeless and temporarily without a full-time staff.  I do likes to be socially responsible, especially where Roice Hurst is concerned, and I’m appealing to all of you, my kitty friends, to help me help Roice Hurst.  I just voted in Care2.com’s online contest to make 2009 “A New Year of Hope for Animals.”  If my favorite local animal shelter wins this contest, my shelter will win a much needed $10,000 donation! Every vote helps promote the need for pet adoption to save homeless animals’ lives. Please help my shelter win and save homeless pets by voting today.  Click this link to help out my buddies at Roice Hurst:   http://www.care2.com/animalsheltercontest/76512/?refer=26165.10.1229616161.0371  You can tell ‘em Pook sent you!  While you’re at it, check out the link to Roice Hurst in my blogroll.  Hey–thanks a lot.  Mwow and Meowy Christmas!

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22. Mwow-la-la-la-la


Mwow-la-la-la-la, my kitty friends!  I feels the need to comment upon the season and all.  In this time of giving and receiving, I must say that I much prefers the receiving part.  To this end, staff is seeing to my needs quite nicely.  They has constructed an entire tree inside the house!  Said tree is decorated quite nicely with all manner of shineyglitterynoisemake-y toys….for me!!!  I thinks staff wanted to surprise me, cuz everytime I bats at one, they shoo me outta there, so as not to ruin the surprise….ain’t that so sweet?  And to think all I was planning for them was a set of matching hair-balls.  Perhaps a bit later, I’ll do me some e-shopping….or not.  They is some birdies to stalk and terrify–I mean “watch”….yeah, I’m quite the nature-lover, and with a new storm comin’ in them birdies is quite hungry and will be a-spendin’ a bunch o’ time at the feeder right outside the window….hmmm…better go check on that now.  Then maybe I’ll practice Carol of the Bells on the Butt Chimes.  That’ll set a real nice festive mood.  I guess I does my share of giving after all!

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23. Makin’ Music


Mwow all you music lovin’ kitties out there!  I have a new outlet for my musical muse!  I calls it the Butt Chime.  Let me tell you the story:  My staff recently remodeled the kitchen.  In doing so, they added some cupboards (and countertop!) that weren’t there before.  Now, you know I loves to prowl the countertops, but there’s more!  These new cupboards have some sort of a thingy that holds wineglasses upside down.  Right after they were installed and staff had placed the wineglasses in the holders, I was up there checkin’ things out.  Layin’ around I was, stretching out and getting comfortable in my new space.  No one discovered me and I got bored eventually, got up and stretched.  That’s when it happened!  My tail happened to swish just right and knocked one glass into another and that one into another, blah, blah, blah, and music happened!  Yup, I invented the Butt Chime!  I’s can play it all soft-like with a tail swish and I’s can play it loud for emphasis with my butt.  My musical masterpieces always catch the attention of my staff when they’re around–that’s how talented I am!  They cheer my name loudly as I play.  When they cheer like that, I like to give them an extra treat and end my concert with the loud percussion I’m able to create by leaping off the counter and landing as loudly as possible.  I then stroll casually to where they are, full of gracious humility.  Yes….I like to place a look on my face that says, “Me?  You’re cheering for little ole me?  Aww, I didn’t do anything special–I just don’t know what you’re talking about.”  I then conclude my performance by casually walking into another room….I don’t give encores on command.  Move over Bach, make way for Pook!

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24. The Taiga’s Top Predator


Early winter nightfall.  The temperature goes down with the sun.  Pookie, the taiga’s top predator, silently stalks the barren steppes in search of warmth.  The clever Pook realizes he must burrow; burrow deeply to maintain enough body heat to survive the hostile conditions.  Ah yes.  Warmth at last.  The walls of the burrow surround and comfort like…….like…….like being all wrapped up in winter flannel sheets.  Yes.  Pook could almost imagine himself back at home, burrowed under the flannel sheets of the staff’s bed.  He remembers chuckling to himself, heh, heh, heh, as one staff calls to the other, “Come see the lump in the bed.”  Silly staff.  They can’t tell it’s me!  One then says to the other, “Where’s Pook?”  They’ll never find me, heh, heh, heh.  Wait.  What’s that sound?  Could it be an ice storm raging outside the burrow?  It rattles like chow falling into a bowl…..and now?!  That rustling…..it’s…..it’s….TREATS!  I must have them…….but I’m out in the middle of nowhere……oh……whatever.  The taiga’s top predator leaves his burrow and runs to the kitchen, leaving the frozen steppes behind….for now.  Mwow.

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25. Home Alone, Pookie Style


Mwow all you kitty friends out there!  My staff went away for a bit longer than I thought they should a couple days ago.  Oh sure, they left me with plenty of chow and water and toys to stalk, pounce and thrash….but what about my need to ignore them?  Or pester them?  Or taunt them?  How inconsiderate.  Punishment began to occupy my thoughts.  What could I do that would effectively illustrate my displeasure?  Here’s what I came up with.  Fairly complete in my opinion:

  • Walk on the counters.  I know I do this anyway when they’re not looking, but it seemed a great place to start.
  • Get into ALL of the lower kitchen cupboards.  I used to do this sometimes under the guise of mousie-stalking, until they locked the doors with rubber bands.  They forgot the rubber bands this time–heh, heh, heh!
  • Lick something random from the cupboard.  I’ll never tell……
  • Chew on forbidden plants.  Yup, those spider plants are a-lookin’ mighty raggedy….
  • Hack up a hairball.  Yup, this hairball’s for you!
  • Lounge on their pillow cases.  Deposit just enough hair to be irritating in the middle of the night.
  • Tip some water out of a water dish.  Slippery, slimy mess, heh, heh, heh!  (Besides, I’ve got a back-up dish in the bathroom sink)
  • Chew on toothbrushes.  ‘Nuff said, there–heh, heh, heh!
  • Leave toys around in strategic locations.  Eeeek!  what is that furry thing I just stepped on with my bare feet?!  Heh, heh, heh.
  • Yowl annoyingly upon their return.  You can’t rub in your displeasure enough.
  • Yowl pathetically.  Let ‘em know how mistreated you are…..then ignore their overatures.  Heh, heh, heh.

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