G.I. JOE , THE 'REAL' ONE DISCUSSES THE MOVIE WITH HIS NAME IN IT
BY Eleanor Tylbor
After a stressful period of being relegated to a toy factory along with his love, BARBIE and her ex, KEN, the real G.I. JOE is quite upset that a movie has been made using his name as a draw. In a hastily called press conference, G.I. JOE with BARBIE by his side in his words, "wanted to clear the air."
"This is really bisrusting," G.I. Joe blustered waving his trusty machine gun in the air to emphasize his emotional angst. "They've gone and used my name and they didn't even ask me if they could!"
"Disgusting, Joe" the designer-dressed Barbie commented, smoothing her body-fitting dress and smiling for the photographers.
"Wha...?"
"You said, 'bisrusting'. There's no such word as bisrusting," Barbie emphasized, fixing her blond, vinyl hair and cleaning her teeth with her finger. "It's disGUSTING."
"Yeah! You're right on, babe! It is disbust...disrust...whatever she said! This G.I. Joe movie thingie isn't even a real person, like me. It's a military unit! Nobody bothered to ask me, a gen-u-ine soldier if I wanted to be in it. I would'a liked to, 'ya know!"
"Um...GI - remember you lost a foot when we busted out of the warehouse," Barbie interrupted the rant. "
"So? I could have sat at a table or something and held down the fort! Nobody would'a noticed." G.I. explained. "On top of it all, some dudes who call themselves Duke and Ripcord got jobs! But not me, G.I. Joe, the original soldier. It ain't fair!"
"I'll tell you what's not fair," Barbie intervened, "to have to walk on tippy-toes all your life, like me."
"Yeah - you're right as usual, babe. That's much worse than having your leg shot off. Hey - wanna go see the movie with my name in it? I got free tickets."
Placing a crutch under one arm and leaning on Barbie with the other, the pair left the room.
"Do you have to lean on me so much?" Barbie commented. "You're crushing my hair."
http://www.gijoemovie.com/
