As I contemplated cracking on with my novel this morning – I’m only on Chapter Three – I had a comforting thought. The exact words in my head were Synopsis as friend. My mind’s circuitry led me straight to a case study from my long gone life as a marketer. The subject was dog food.
For ten years I was a proper PAYE employee, selling the likes of frozen food, tennis shoes and booze. For the next ten years I was freelance, selling money in the form of mortgages and investments. At some point I was invited to give a guest lecture at the Chartered Institute of Marketing. Given that I was seven months pregnant, I probably should have declined. Instead I pulled on a pair of black trousers with an oh-so-attractive stretchy panel fetchingly topped by an elastic waistband (for that little known waist that is in fact directly beneath your breasts), buttoned the matching black maternity waistcoat (what joker thought of that) and drove to Cookham.
I wasn’t nervous, until I opened my mouth and realised that my lung capacity, whilst adequate for conversations where you only have every other turn and the person is close by, wasn’t up to the job. I cut short my introduction, offering the delegates a chance to say a little about themselves while I recovered my composure.
My subject was segmentation. Bread and butter stuff. I had all sorts of examples from the world known as FMCG (fast moving consumer goods), from retail and from financial services. All I had to do was teach the theory, show examples – the brilliant dog food slides were ready and waiting – and then relate it to the fields they were working in. I could do that with or without oxygen.
The first attendee mumbled her name and said that she worked on treated mosquito nets. My mind gave a sarcastic ‘yippee!’ Never mind. The others were bound to be working on cars, shampoo, biscuits . . . something I could relate to.
The conch was passed round the room. My confidence ebbed. My smile became as fixed and unresponsive as my twenty-something pupils.
It turned out that I had a global monopoly on marketers of mosquito related products.
Inside I did the equivalent of a refusal at Becher’s Brook.
Whether it was the peppering of the content with irritating little breaths, the hideousness of my maternity waistcoat or my lack of engagement with the mosquito market, by the time I got to the segmentation of the dog food market, I’d lost them. A shame, because it was my favourite part.
Here’s the gist:
Categorising dog food in terms of form – dry, wet, raw – or flavour – lamb, rabbit, chicken – didn’t help marketers understand how to make their products attractive to dog owners. Nor did using the breed, age or size of dog. Research showed that the most meaningful way of sorting the market was by looking at how dog owners thought about their dogs.
Four segments were identified that most influenced the type of dog food chosen:
Dog as grandchild – indulgence
Dog as child – loveDog as friend – health and nutrition
Dog as dog – cheap and convenient.
My audience woke up slightly. Proof that a pet can always be relied on to liven things up, be it in business or school visits. We had our first interaction of any length, a welcome reprieve for my pulmonary gas exchange. The treated net marketers had never considered the relationship between dog and master.
Had they not read The Call of the Wild? Seen Bill Sykes mistreat Bull’s Eye? Or Hagrid berate cowardly Fang? Timmy was surely as much a friend as Anne, Dick, Julian and George.
They eagerly volunteered product names and quickly slotted them into the four segments.
Cesar Mini Fillets in a foil tray – Dog as grandchild
Asda Smartprice Dog Meal. – Dog as dog
Pedigree Chum Chicken – the clues in the name . . .
In what was overall a pretty grey-with-clouds lecture, I enjoyed the little spell of sunshine. Motivation wasn’t something mosquito experts thought a lot about. They thought about geography and insects and shelter and disease and mosquito net fixing kits. They didn’t think about what might be on the mind of the traveller, setting off alone to try and find traces of the Hairy-nosed Otter in Borneo, or maybe the traveller’s nervous father, buying the very best treated mosquito net for his passionate but impractical son.
Marketers often end up segmenting by demographics e.g. age, gender, income, despite the power of psychographics like motivation, personality and attitude. Perhaps writers should lecture at the Chartered Institute of Marketing instead . . .
Quite why my inner voice chose the words Synopsis as friend, inextricably linked in my hippocampus to Dog as friend, who knows, but it made me reflect on my changed relationship with synopses.
My first few books grew in a free spirit sort of way, meandering towards a vague nirvana shrouded in uncertainty. The synopses written afterwards, if at all.
This was: Synopsis as bureaucrat.
My new book,
Hacked, out in November, was the product of a synopsis I HAD to write because the publisher, Piccadilly Press, was interested in an idea I’d mooted and wanted it fleshed out.
This was: Synopsis as unwanted dependant.
I developed the beginning, middle and end of the story, my lovely publisher made a few suggestions and then I forgot about the four-page plan until there was a problem, at which point I reluctantly referred to it.
The synopsis for the sequel, however, is printed out and has its own space on my desk. It feels reassuring. Trustworthy, but not prescriptive.
857 words in, with 50 000 ish to go, I’m glad that I’m not alone.
This is: Synopsis as friend
I even enjoyed the discipline of writing it.
Tracy Alexander
The press coverage of the poll that last week named Enid Blyton as Britain’s favourite author couldn’t avoid mentioning the many criticisms of her work as “sexist, racist and simplistic”. But I’m surprised that so far no-one has (to my knowledge) seen fit to point out that the Famous Five, those four determinedly upper-middle-class kids with their equally upper-middle-class dog, are members of what is probably the most dysfunctional family in children’s literature.
‘Nonsense!’ I hear you scoff. [Oh, wasn’t it you? I’m sure somebody just scoffed ‘Nonsense!’ Well, whoever it was, let’s hear how the rest of the scoff goes:] ‘The most dysfunctional family in children’s literature surely has to be one created by, oooh, Dame Jacqueline Wilson, at a guess. Or perhaps Melvin Burgess. But surely not the Kirrin clan? Okay, George has gender-identity issues and Julian’s a bit bossy and superior, but as a family there’s nothing really wrong with them.’
I beg to differ. Take a look at the opening chapters of Five on a Treasure Island and you’ll see what I mean.
The story begins with Anne, Dick and Julian being told by their parents, ‘You’re not coming on holiday with us. We’re off to Scotland and you’re going to stay with your Uncle Quentin (Daddy’s brother) and his family.’
To me, even this seems a little strange. It’s not as if Scotland won’t let children in, after all. But it gets much weirder. You see, although the eldest of these three kids is eleven, they have never met Uncle Quentin before.
Let me just repeat that with a bit of unnecessary capitalisation: They Have Never Met Their Father’s Brother Before. Over a period of eleven years, and despite the fact that they live within driving distance of one another, these two brothers have never made the effort to get their families together. But more than that, until the holiday plans are made, the children don’t even know they’ve got a ten-year-old cousin. The family with whom the children are to spend their summer are clearly Never Spoken About.
It gets worse. A mere few days after the children are told the news that they’re being abandoned for the summer and sent to stay with people who, though blood-relatives, are complete strangers, it all happens. Off they go to Kirrin Bay, where Mummy and Daddy drop them off, scarper without so much as stopping for a cup of tea, and are Never Seen Again.
Actually, I can’t be certain that it’s absolutely never. They may, over the course of the next 21 books, pop up for half a page at some point. But effectively they are from this moment forward written out of their children’s lives. At the end of the summer Julian, Dick and Anne return to boarding school; every holiday from then on is spent either at Kirrin Cottage, or fending for themselves and dependent for survival on the kindness of rosy-cheeked farmers’ wives. They are effectively cast adrift from their nuclear family, cut off apart from the odd letter telling them they still can’t come home.
But what’s really strange is that, as a child who lapped up the Five’s adventures, I never noticed how bizarre this family set-up was. In fact, I think it was one of the things I loved about them - they got to do things without Mummy and Daddy telling them they couldn’t.
Thinking about it, much of my favourite reading as a child took place in a parent-free world. The Pevenseys disappeared off to Narnia without their Responsible Adults, for instance. James Henry Trotter lost his parents to a ravenous rhinoceros, while Mr and Mrs Bucket couldn’t take Charlie to the Chocolate Factory themselves and sent him with his Grandpa instead. And now that I’m a writer of children’s books myself, I seem to have a need to get rid of the parents as quickly as possible. In none of my own books do the parents figure hugely. Even when - as in my latest book, Bansi O’Hara and the Bloodline Prophecy - they are crucial to the plot, they’re offstage for most of the action.
The thing is, parents get in the way. They stop children having adventures. And what would be horribly damaging for a child in real life can be wonderfully liberating in the world of the imagination.
21 first graders miss five minutes of recess and don't mind a bit.
I still can't believe this talk with my daughter's first grade classmates went this well. And I have you to thank for it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
When I first arrived in my daughter's classroom, I discovered Ms. Teacher reading a book to the class. Actually, she was holding up a book, while the children sat on the
I can't believe it. My one year blogiversary is here! What's really weird is how much has changed over the past year, but how much things haven't changed at all.
My first post was about my Christmas preparations, or not...and I find myself in the strange position of being in Groundhog Day. I'm still in the same place when it comes to Christmas. Candace tagged me for a meme, which I haven't gotten around to, and probably won't get to due to my sheer panic of to do's.
What was amusing about my first post is how thrilled I was that people commented. It wasn't until a few months later, my sister admitted to writing a couple of comments to encourage me. And I'm so glad she did. Because blogging has been a wonderful experience, and I have loved every moment of it. And you, my blogsphere friends, have enriched my life, more than you can ever know. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Back to my Christmas preparations. In my mind, I have a magical Christmas ready and waiting for my family....great holiday music echoing throughout the house; amazing presents bought, wrapped and mailed out if necessary; the house totally decked out in all it's Christmas splendor; the heavenly smells of baking underway. Instead there is total chaos in my house. Santa's elves certainly did not visit here yet. No great music blaring away. A few little presents bought. None wrapped. Some mailed out thanks to Amazon.com. Still haven't taken pictures of kids to show everyone how cute they've gotten. Thus, no holiday cards mailed out. My kitchen is a total mess since I decided to do a kitchen makeover by painting the gross cabinets. And I'm expecting 18 people over on Christmas Eve. What was I thinking? (This paragraph is straight from my first post. And a year later, I'm still at this same point. Even to the kitchen cabinets--which I finally painted an off-white, but never got the cabinet doors to align the right way--thus, all of my mess is exposed for all the world to see.)
I love Christmas. What I don't love are the expectations, the pressure of having the perfect Hallmark holiday, when chaos is filtering in everywhere my eye can see.
I love Christmas music. Our current family favorite, is the Celtic Woman - A Christmas Celebration. The kids even like it, which surprised me.
I love baking cookies and making my mother-in-law's secret chocolate sauce to deliver to friends and neighbors. The smiles and gratitude are worth all the effort of a messy kitchen.
I love finding gifts for people that I know they will appreciate. And that's tough, in this land of materialism, where it seems the more expensive things are, the better. This makes me sad and I have a strange need to try to shelter my children from it.
But I am then hopeful when I read books like Frindle by Andrew Clements, and am encouraged by how much a great teacher can impact a child's life. Frindle, by the way, is a wonderful book. I would recommend this for your child's reading list. I read this book last night, and it of course reminded me that I needed to find a special gift for the teachers in my children's lives.
So tell me, what teacher gift ideas can you share with me?
I had a little nut-tree,
nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear;
The king of Spain's daughter came to visit me,
And all because of my little nut-tree.
I skipped over water,
I danced over sea.
And all the birds in the air
couldn't catch me.
-Mother Goose
My four year old just learned this rhyme in preschool and has been entertaining us at dinnertime with this song. Every day for a whole week. She loves rhymes and if you can put it into song, it is even better.
A few weeks ago, I came home to find a surprise package from a publisher. I was pleased to see
Mother Goose's Little Treasures by Iona Opie and Rosemary Wells, pictured on the left. Thank you, Candlewick Press.
Iona Opie is considered to be a world authority on children's rhymes. She has collected some little known treasures for this lovely book. These sweet rhymes are perfectly paired with the charming illustrations of
Rosemary Wells. My children have all grown up with Rosemary Wells--they are huge fans of
Max & Ruby and
Timothy Goes to School.
I have to admit, I've never heard of most of these nursery rhymes, so it was interesting to read them. Children who are learning to read will enjoy following along with the
large, easy to read type in a color similar to this. Children will delight in the charming watercolor illustrations, many which have the sweet animal characters Rosemary Wells does so well. Now I have to figure out if we can put any of these into song.
Mother Goose's Little Treasuresby Iona Opie and Rosemary Wells
Published: August 2007
Book received from Publisher
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When we went to our favorite bookstore last week, my first grader immediately saw this paperback book,
Emily's First 100 Days of School by Rosemary Wells and really wanted it. MC is a numbers girl and couldn't wait to dive into this book. This oversized paperback picture book is jam packed with learning opportunities for math, reading and writing. Add the colorful drawings and delightful stories, and your kindergartener or first grade child will discover how fun the first 100 days of school can be.
My child really loves this book, so I went and picked up another copy for my book giveaway. Comment below for a chance to win this delightful paperback book! Edited to add: I forgot to add the deadline for this, which would be helpful, wouldn't it? Comment by Sunday, September 23rd at 11pm EST to be entered into this Book Giveaway.
Emily's First 100 Days of School
by Rosemary Wells
Published: September 2005
Purchased this Book
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We're already halfway through September and hopefully by now, all the children out there have adjusted to the school routine. Earlier this week, I reposted my book list for Cliques, Friendships and Self-Esteem. Today, I have some more books that would be great for boys as well. Keep in mind that adults should read these books first, and then use them as tools to help their children.
The Unwritten Rules of Friendship: Simple Strategies to Help your Child make Friends by Natalie Madorsky Elman and Eileen Kennedy-Moore: This book describes the different ways children interact with their friends, along with guidelines for parents to help their child understand their strengths to help nurture friendships.
Raise Your Child's Social IQ: Stepping Stones to People Skills for Kids by Cathi Cohen: This book is based on social skills training programs to help with social skills and awareness.
The Bully, The Bullied and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School -- How Parents and Teachers can break the Cycle of Violence by Barbara Coloroso: Learn how the bully, the bullied and the bystander all feed into each other's reaction; how to identify signs; and how each type of child can be taught to change their part in this destructive cycle.
Some light hearted books to read with your children:
Cliques, Phonies and other Baloney by Trevor Romain, ages 9-12: This easy to read book keeps it silly while exploring a tough subject for kids.
Bullies are a Pain in the Brain by Trevor Romain, ages 9-12: The colorful drawings, fun style, and question and answer section are great to open up a conversation with your child.
King of the Playgroud by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, ages 4-8
The Recess Queen by Alexis O'Neill, ages 4-8
I have a bit of a reading dilemma. Here are a sample of books in my TBR pile:
Eclipse (The third book in the Twilight series) by Stephenie Meyer -- You all know how much I loved Twilight. I'm nervous about reading the third book.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling - I loved Books 1-3, found Book 4 okay. Will Book 5 redeem the HP story for me?
The Extraordinary Adventures of Alfred Kropp and then Book 2, The Seal of Solomon by Rick Yancey - The covers of both books are all boy, cool and tough. Which frankly made me nervous. But now I find out this adventure series starts off with stealing Excalibur, King Arthur's amazing sword, and I'm intrigued. King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table was one of my favorite stories when I was younger. So much, I was irritated beyond belief at the pathetic attempt of adding King Arthur as a teenage boy in the movie Shrek the Third. Sigh.
The Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson & The Olympians Book Two) by Rick Riordan - I loved the first book, The Lightning Thief. It's fun, hip and smart. Plus great action. Will Book 2 pass muster?
Lucky by Susan Patron - An interesting combination of controversy over a word and Newbery Medal winner.
All really interesting books. See why I have a problem? What books do you have in your reading pile?
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I'd never thought about the FF parent thing before--how right you are. Dysfunctional is definitely the word. I agree too about the parental presence being a pain when you're writing. I get rid of mine as soon as possible--conferences are good when they're teenagers and can fend for themselves. But it's going to be against the law if I leave my current 8 yr old boy on his own, isn't it? I'm not even going to try and get that one past the eagle-eyed editor!
I've long had a theory that World War 2 had a massive formative effect on children's literature. The evacuation of all those children to the homes of strangers provided a context for countless adventures both real and fictional; it's everywhere in the literature of the time, either directly or indirectly. The Narnia books owe their existence to it. It's hard to imagine: half an entire nation's children sent off on parent-free 'adventures'. Some no doubt nice, some not so nice. (My own father enjoyed his, I know).
Scarpering without tea is better than being killed off.
Anyway, in translation the Five improve a great deal, and very little of the poshness gets in the way, because we know for a fact that this is what all English people are like.
Lucy: maybe this is why school stories work so well? It's much easier to have your 8-year-old escape direct adult supervision without the need for intervention from social services...
Nick: fascinating theory re. WWII - rings very true to me.
Bookwitch: "Scarpering without tea is better than being killed off." For the parents, certainly! Have you read Matt Haig's 'Shadow Forest'? I thoroughy enjoyed it, but I'll bet there were some serious discussions with his editor about the end of the first chapter!