I want to give away a free copy of the book.
Why? Well, because I'm a heck of a guy, that's why.
However, giving away something requires a contest, and contests are more often than not a pain in the poop cheeks of those putting them together.
If I'm going to do a contest I want to keep it simple - because I'm lazy.
To enter all you have to do is finish the following sentence:
"I really, really want a free copy of "Forts" because..."
That's it.
Just tell me why you deserve to get the book for free and email it to: [email protected]
In the end, I'm the judge. I'll pick my favorite and when the book is released you'll not only get it for free, but I'll sign it and maybe even draw a little something on the inside cover. I'll do whatever you want. If you feel like you really need me to put on some lipstick, pucker up and give it a kiss I'll do that too.
Keep in mind however that asking me to do such a thing would be horrifying, and confusing request - no doubt instantly transforming you into a grade-A weirdo in my eyes.
Who knows, maybe you're cool with that? Maybe that's exactly what you're going for? I'm not here to judge really, just give away free stuff.
Make your response funny, give me a sob story, threaten my life and the lives of those I love - I don't care - do what you have to do in order to convince me that you deserve a freebie over the other dudes sending emails my way.
You could even bribe me, though that would seem to defeat the purpose.
THE DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSIONS IS MARCH 15, 2010. I'll announce the winner a few days later.
See, nice and easy. It'll take you all of fifteen seconds. Get to it.
Steve
Nature has ways of providing us with sick entertainment. Everyone who has had a garden has at one time or another dug up a uniquely formed carrot or potato. We find these abnormal growths entertaining and interesting, abnormally formed animals and humans draw our eyes even more so.
The most famous deformities are Siamese Twins. Most do not survive. Undoubtedly without medical aid none could be born naturally and the mother too, would die. For more information (and freaky pictures) on Siamese twins click here!
Another deformity can be caused later in life, as the result of the polio virus. The virus travels through the bloodstream and into the brain. Although it has been halted in many areas thanks to vaccinations, it should be noted that the below photo was taken as recently as 1995. It primarily strikes young people and can leave them paralyzed.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Polio_sequelle.jpg
Hypertelorism is a genetic deformity that causes body parts to be placed farther apart. Most often the eyes are abnormally wide set, as we see in the seven year old girl below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypertelorism
Another famous freak is the freak accident, as when a skier crashes into a tree. Particularly funny to witness, not too funny to be involved in. A free accident is typically one that nobody could have predicted, or something that happens very rarely, and should have been easily avoided.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Freak_accident_-_entire_photo.JPG
Freak storms are an other freak event we just love to watch, over and over. As long at it is not happening to us. Below we see a tsunami that hit Thailand in 2004.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:2004-tsunami.jpg
Some people are noted for being freaks. For some this is a good thing, while others are bullied or teased, shunned by society for having the guts to be different and live their life the way they would want. Obviously some people are freaks because of natural physical deformities, as mentioned above, but these are the people who have the stigma of being freaks only because their behavior is different than what is the cultural norm. Below we see a man who even calls himself a freak, this is John the freak at Hempfest in Seattle.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Seattle_Hempfest_2007_-_John_the_Freak_01A.jpg
Because it is today considered socially unacceptable to put freaks on display, the once common “Freak Show” in circuses and fairs is getting harder and harder to find. While some freaks in the past were probably real, others may have been faked. If today we saw this picture (below) we would question if the remainder of the person was simply hidden under the sand.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:FreaksPoster2.jpg
None the less there is something in the human psyche that longs to look at freaks for one reason or another. We need to watch train wrecks, disasters, and to look at deformities. This is nothing new, we can look back to older renderings showing freaks, sometimes in tasteful ways. Below we see Lazarus and Joannes Baptista.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lazarus_and_Joannes_Baptista_Colloredo.jpg
Finally I leave you with Jo-Jo the dog faced boy. Not a very nice name for this lad who served in side shows due to his abmornal hair growth on his face. The problem is actually known as Hypertrichosis. In minor forms it causes single abnormal hair growth on people even so that a person may have one abnormally long hair on their arm or leg, or a patch of long hairs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Jeftichew-14.jpg
