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I’ve been duped. Tricked. Lied to. Taken for a ride to disappointmentville by a fancy I’ve held for years. In reality no one told me a falsehood. Like most times I find myself disillusioned, I did it to myself. A starry-eyed dreamer, I tend to put things onto such a pedestal that once attained, they can’t measure up to expectations.

Who can forget the Chia Pet of the 70′s that I saved and saved for. Don’t even get me started on sea monkeys. I had such high aspirations for them after seeing them on the back page of Mad Magazine. The promise of joy died quickly because the only time they moved was when I shook them out of the bag into their simulated habitat. Ant farms, the bass guitar, a shiny pastel jacket that I thought would be an absolute chick magnet. I was amazed when I found that on the discount rack and wore it proudly to school with my sleeves pushed up, only to find that the world had moved past Crockett, Tubbs, Miami Vice, and the style I flaunted. That first new car I had to have post-college before I understood the stranglehold sixty easy payments could be. I won’t even mention women of my youth, like Hilda* the friendly barkeep. For a foolish lad, women are the most dangerous sort of thing to deify.

I could go on. There have been a litany of things I prized – nah, idolized – right up until I got my grubby mitts on them.

And so, now, I am disappointed with baldness. I have always wanted to shave my head but been dissuaded by my lovely wife, who likes hair on my head, but not on my chin. If you recall my rant about Tom Selleck, I have never truly been satisfied with my hair. Current circumstances gained me quick approval to remove it and I did so excitedly.

I don’t like it and here are my grievances:

1. I always assumed it would be low maintenance. It is not. To my dismay, the hair on my head grows as fast as the hair on my chin. Who knew?

2. I thought it would save money – no shampoo, conditioner, or gel. See complaint number one, razors aren’t cheap and every shave seems to chew through one.

3. Who knew the skin under my hair was even pastier than the rest of me? I’m told paint stores can mix approximately 140 shades of white, welcome to Pure White.

4. When I was twelve, my football team had to get me an adult helmet, then pad the sides because my cranium was so long. Any time I hit someone, the thing wobbled side to side. Head shapes don’t change, they just expand. Let’s play a little game, shall we? I like to call it:

 “Which one is Mark’s head?”

♦

Surprisingly difficult, is it?

So you can see why I’m disappointed. Like most broken things in my life, I have no one to blame but myself. I lifted baldness onto a throne it simply cannot occupy. Fortunately, I can grow my hair out to fix this monstrosity…but not quite yet. Part of me feels a little like a rebel since this has been against the marital rules for so long. And that, I like.

*Name changed to protect my stupidity

On 1 December 1860, Charles Dickens published the first installment of Great Expectations in All the Year Round, the weekly literary periodical that he had founded in 1859. Perhaps Dickens’s best-loved work, it tells the story of young Pip, who lives with his sister and her husband the blacksmith. He has few prospects for advancement until a mysterious benefaction takes him from the Kent marshes to London. Pip is haunted by figures from his past — the escaped convict Magwitch, the time-withered Miss Havisham, and her proud and beautiful ward, Estella — and in time uncovers not just the origins of his great expectations but the mystery of his own heart.

A powerful and moving novel, Great Expectations is suffused with Dickens’s memories of the past and its grip on the present, and it raises disturbing questions about the extent to which individuals affect each other’s lives. Below is a sequence of podcasts with Robert Douglas-Fairhurst, editor of the Oxford World’s Classics edition of Great Expectations, recorded by George Miller of Podularity.

Title page of first edition of Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, 1861

- What was going on in Dickens’s private life at the time?

[See post to listen to audio]

- Both Dickens and Pip were haunted by the ghosts of the past.

[See post to listen to audio]

- Are gentlemen in Victorian England born or made?

[See post to listen to audio]

- Why was Dickens persuaded to change his original ending to the novel?

[See post to listen to audio]

- Why does Great Expectations continue to hold such appeal for readers?

[See post to listen to audio]

- If you loved this novel, try…

[See post to listen to audio]

Charles Dickens was one of the most important writers of the 19th century and 2012 is the 200th anniversary year of his birth. The Oxford World’s Classics edition of Great Expectations reprints the definitive Clarendon text. Robert Douglas-Fairhurst’s new introduction ranges widely across critical issues raised by the novel: its biographical genesis, ideas of origin and progress and what makes a “gentleman,” memory, melodrama, and the book’s critical reception.

For over 100 years Oxford World’s Classics has made available the broadest spectrum of literature from around the globe. Each affordable volume reflects Oxford’s commitment to scholarship, providing the most accurate text plus a wealth of other valuable features, including expert introductions by leading authorities, voluminous notes to clarify the text, up-to-date bibliographies for further study, and much more.

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The other day I finished a YA novel by one of my favorite authors and felt as if I’d scraped my knees on the bottom of the pool. Until I turned the last page, I hadn't realized–or maybe hadn't wanted to admit–that I’d been swimming in shallow water. From the beginning, the story had all the requisite ingredients. Intriguing plot-line. Quirky characters. Lots of snappy dialogue. And it gave the

• The Interaction. I never would have dreamed of being able to communicate with others not only in my position, but real authors - ones I enjoyed reading! And then there are the agents and editors that so generously give of their time on Twitter and blogs, even workshops. What other industry has such an open and sharing network of kind and like-minded people at your disposal? 
• The Reaction of Family and Friends. I figured my family would be supportive (they better be). But extended family? Friends? I held back on telling people for a long time. Then came my first publication. A short children's poem called "Ode To Mud" in Stories For Children magazine. Suddenly I had enough confidence to whisper to a few people what I was doing... And wow! I'm lucky to have such supportive people in my life. I believe there was only one person who looked at me like, oh no, you think you can write? I still hesitate when others ask what I do, but I've trained myself to say "I'm a writer." Because I am. Of course I now have my fair share of people asking me to proofread their reports and things. But I don't mind.
• The Depth of Learning Involved. I joked with my husband recently that I probably have the equivalent of a self-taught Masters degree. But really, it's probably true. I'm not putting down anyone's graduate program, I'm just saying, I've put so much effort into studying craft over the last few years that I'm amazed at the amount of information swimming in my head. I love that part of it though! And I look forward to continuing my education.
• The Emotional Rollercoaster. I was an actress for a time, so I'm no stranger to the whole expect rejection thing. But this is different. For one thing, it takes more time to get that rejection, which is probably what I personally have had the hardest time with. On an audition, you know pretty quickly whether you made it to callbacks or not. But wow, when you DO get an acceptance? Or a good review? I'll take a smattering of those soaring feelings in exchange for all the waiting any day.
• The Friendships. I've made some of the best friends of my life doing this. They really "get" me and I get them. I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. It might sound sappy, but it's true! You know who you are.

We don’t like to talk about quitting or giving up on our dreams. But let’s be honest. Will every wannabe writer eventually land big contracts,  snag a well-known NY agent, and be sent on ten-city book tours? No.

Maybe your dreams are more modest, but you’ve worked at breaking into publishing for years. Should you continue the struggle? For how long? How do you know when to quit?

Asking the Wrong Question

I came across an excellent discussion from a blog post that is several years old, but the advice is timeless. Called “When to Quit,” it’s a lengthy article by Scott Young on this subject. I hope you’ll read it to the end.

One factor the article said to consider was how you feel on a day-to-day basis as you pursue your dream. How is the process affecting your life, your character, your growth? “So if you are pursuing your dream and you don’t think you are going to make it, the question of whether or not to quit doesn’t depend on your chance of success. The real question is whether pursuing this dream is causing you to grow. Does this path fill you with passion and enthusiasm? Do you feel alive?”

You may not agree with all his views, but I guarantee that the article will make you think–even if you have no intention of quitting. It might lead you to make a course correction however. And it will make you evaluate why you’re pursuing your particular dream–and that’s always a good thing!

If you have a minute, give me your reactions to the ideas in his article.

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St. Patrick's Day was very cute on Thursday. Even the babies were into it!

I know that for a writing blog I should write about “show, don’t tell,” but today I’m going to digress and do “show and tell” instead.

When I started writing thirty years ago by taking the ICL writing course, I had a newborn, a two-year-old and a five-year-old. I found that babies and bylines could mix.

Ta-Da!

Last week I discovered that principle all over again with the arrival of my youngest granddaughter.

I want you to meet Elayna Joy, who was born last Tuesday night. I got to hold her when she was about an hour old. I’m blessed to have this baby living just a ten-minute walk away!

In the Blink of an Eye

I almost never post personal notes, but I have permission from Elayna’s parents (Jacqui and Michael) to post some photos. And I want to take this time to say that, although babies and bylines can mix, babies grow up fast. You barely blink and they’re crawling, walking, running, and off to school. Hold them while you can. I plan to!

I’ve had hundreds of students over the years who were young moms and dads trying to balance their writing and children. I never made children and writing an either/or situation. I wanted to have both in my life, and both have brought me such great joy.

But as much as I love writing, it was never more important to me than my kids. And it’s not more important than my grandchildren either.

So today’s post is short–I’m off to rock my granddaughter!

Some of you may have already read agent Nathan Bransford’s post When Dreams Become Expectations. It brought a lot of “realness” to dreams and their connection to writer happiness.

This part of the post was especially interesting to me about what he had to say about dreams/goals:

“When you allow daydreams to fill that gap to get you through the tough times, or even when you’re just letting your imagination get the best of you, the dreams can gradually evolve into the reason you were writing in the first place. They were how you got through the tough times, so now they have to come true for it to be worth it. They start to become a crutch–take that crutch away and you fall over because you were leaning on an endlessly elusive dream.”

As writers, it’s very easy to get caught up in the grandeur of our dreams. We all do it. But we must be careful about how much weight we give to our dreams.

For me, I sometimes get frustrated with the progress of my writing journey but then again, I’m also grateful because I know how the “What-If” game can get you into trouble. Happiness doesn’t always start when you get an agent or even when you publish a book. Don’t get me wrong, when you hit those milestones, you should celebrate them and be proud of the accomplishment. But also remember that those goals achieved are always replaced with something else to achieve — and if you depend on that for happiness, you will be forever running the treadmill of the next “big” thing. And what if doesn’t happen? Then what?

I remember after getting my former agent how I got all caught up in what was going to happen next. It was exhilarating and fun — and in my head I planned all the glorious things ahead of me. When it didn’t happen, I got sort of crushed. After wallowing in disappointment, I dusted myself off and went back to the real reason I was writing novels for in the first place. It was then I realized that I had gotten caught up and it brought me back down to earth.

I still want to achieve my goals but now I’m more realistic about it and I know that it will take patience and more importantly working on my craft and making my novel the best it can be.

Every writer wants to be a success. Just remember to keep it in perspective.

How do balance your dreams and reality?

Because pessimism measures (in part) your ability to keep going and not quit in the face of unpleasant or disappointing circumstances, I didn’t expect the book Learned Optimism to have much to say to me.

My whole life has been about not quitting in the face of severe physical problems, depressing family life issues, and major publishing downturns. It’s been about taking responsibility, learning from things, and moving on.

“I’m no quitter” is as much a part of me as my hair color (under the Preference by L’Oreal) and my brown eyes. Yes, I sometimes took on too much. Yes, my health wasn’t always the best. But I always pressed on even if things looked hopeless.

That should earn me a high score on the book’s lengthy optimism test, right?

Um…no.

This Can’t Be Right!

I was shocked. I called my best friend who had read the book and asked what her score was. She got a 9–meaning very high optimism. I’m not surprised. She’s a great encourager.

I got a 0. (Oh, I got +14 on some good stuff, but a -14 on the bad stuff, effectively cancelling out the positives.) The test and research are based on what author Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. calls your “explanatory style.” It’s how you perceive the reasons behind the good things and bad things that happen to you-and your assumptions about the future.

It’s BIG

According to Seligman, “It matters a great deal if your explanatory style is pessimistic. If you scored poorly, there are four areas where you will encounter (and probably already have encountered) trouble.”

He mentioned that you’ll (1) get depressed more easily, (2) achieve less at your career than your talent warrants [listen, writers!], (3) have poorer physical health and an immune system not as good as it should be, and (4) life won’t be as pleasurable as it should be.

The author assures me that there are many ways to change your thinking in all these areas of your life. Evidently my “explanatory style” needs a major revamping. I’m looking forward to the rest of the book. It’s very research-heavy in the first half, so I may skip to the chapters on “how to fix it.”

Expect to hear more about this in future weeks! In this time of publishing upheaval and downturns, might you benefit from some “learned optimism” yourself?

You meet an editor or agent in an elevator or the banquet line. They turn to you and ask, “What’s your book about? Why are you the person to write it?”

Which One Is You?

Do you give a confident 30-second talk summarizing your book’s main points and why you’re the only one who could do the project justice?

OR

Do you say, “You know, that’s a good question. I’m a lousy writer! Who do I think I am anyway, masquerading as a writer? It’s a dumb book idea.”

Of course you don’t spout that second example!

And yet, many writers do that very thing to themselves every day. That evil little voice in your head or over your shoulder whispers, “That’s a stupid idea” or “That’s been done before–and a lot better” or “You’re never going to finish that story.” And like agreeable little twits, we nod and tell ourselves, “This is a dumb idea. I’m never going to finish this. This concept was done last year–and a whole lot better!”

Then, discouraged for another day, we head for the ice cream.

Pitch It to Yourself!

The name “elevator pitch” means a short speech you have ready for that opportune moment when you can market yourself or your book idea to someone that might buy it. Every day–even many times a day–you need to pitch your writing project and yourself TO YOURSELF.

How are you going to sell your story idea to yourself? What elevator pitch can you give to yourself when you’re surprised, not by an agent or editor in the elevator, but by your own nagging questions?

• When “voice in the head” says, “This is just too hard!”
• You say, “I have done many hard things in my life. I can do one more difficult thing.”
•  
• When “voice in the head” says, “There’s too much going on in your life for you to write now”
• You say, “Writing is at the top of my To-Do list because it’s important!”
•  
• When “voice in the head” says, “Editors and agents scare me!”
• You say, “Even when I feel anxious, I can act like a professional.”
•  
• When “voice in the head” says, “I can’t write because I can’t tolerate rejections”
• You say, “NOT writing is the only rejection that matters. It’s a rejection of my dreams. I can write a little each day.”

Write Your Own Now

Take a few moments today and write at least three elevator pitches of your own, counter-acting the voice in your head. Write the pitches on cards and tape them to your computer. When the “voice” badgers you the next time, read one of your cards OUT LOUD. Several times.

And if you’re feeling very brave, add an elevator pitch in the comments section (up to three pitches) that you can begin pitching to yourself today!

Most of us start out writing because we feel a yearning, a call, a really strong desire to be a writer.

We have stories inside us burning to be told. We see the world in a slightly different way, and we want to share how we see people and events, all wrapped up in a spell-binding story.

Then What Happens?

Somewhere along the way, I’ve noticed, the calling often becomes a career mindset. It might happen with the first sale, or it might not happen until years into publication. With me, it happened after I’d had two or three novels published by Atheneum.  Status became more important than telling a good story.

Warning: this can happen to you too! Be aware of the signs and what can trigger it.

A Common Story

With me, it was financial need. It was the 80s during the farm crisis, and we were in danger of losing our Iowa farm. Suddenly sales were crucial. Advances had to be bigger and bigger. I began to worry more about whether I needed an agent than if my current book was better than the last one. Achieving excellence took a back seat to making money.

I wish I had seen it coming. Getting back to your calling-your love of storytelling-is a lot harder than maintaining it in the first place.

An Agent’s Perspective

Literary agent and author Donald Maass (in The Fire in Fiction) suggests that writers are either those who desire to be published, or those who desire to tell stories. They may start out the same, committed to making it as writer, to being the best storyteller he/she can be. He says that over time a writer’s real motivation will emerge.

Admittedly, I took the ICL course with a hopeful eye of staying home with my children and having a career too. But did that necessarily mean that I had to change from being a storyteller to a status seeker? No, I don’t think so. I think your calling and career can co-exist within you-but only if you guard your writer’s heart carefully.

What needs to stay in the forefront? A pursuit of excellence, for one thing. Keeping the writing fun for another.

Warning Signs

What are some signs that you’re moving from a storyteller to a status seeker? Maass gives some insightful signs:

• The majority of status seeker writers seek agents and publication years too soon.
• When rejected by an agent, the status seeker writer immediately offers the agent something else from his desk drawer. (Not something better-just something else.)
• Status seekers grow frustrated with rejections, thinking landing an agent is a matter of luck. Storytellers know that something is missing from their writing and they work on it.
• Status seekers ask how they can just make their stories good enough to sell. A storyteller is more concerned with making his story the very best it can be.
• With a first contract status seekers are very concerned with what they are getting for blurbs, advertising and promotion. Storytellers have a more realistic grasp of retail realities; they promote some, but then get to work on the next book.
• Status seekers go full time too soon, relying on advances for their living. Storytellers keep their day jobs for as long as it takes.

More details are given in his book to distingui

My daughter’s expecting her first baby, and it’s fun watching her during this “nesting” season. Today it struck me how much her preparations for a new life are like those plans made by writers who want to write for a lifetime.

Time to Make Changes

My daughter’s changes have included preparing the baby’s room and getting the proper baby equipment. She is also handing over a ministry at church that she runs (and loves), but feels she can’t devote enough time to after the baby is born. And she plans to stop working. I asked if they could afford that, and she said they’d been budgeting for this eventuality for years. (Bless her husband.)

All this nesting has been a dual venture. Her husband is involved, from going to doctors’ appointments and setting up the nursery to being a careful financial planner. They’re on the same team.

Writing Season Preparation

If you want to be successful at your writing and even turn it into a career, you’ll need to make similar changes. The easiest one is setting up a writing space (whether it’s a spare room or just a corner of the bedroom) and acquiring the proper equipment (computer, printer, Internet access).

You may have to give up some volunteer activities for a while, or cut back (or cut out) certain hobbies. For a while, maybe you can’t plant huge gardens or run marathons or belong to three book clubs. Your may also hope to quit your day job. If that’s the case, you’ll need to do like my son-in-law and have a strict budget (probably for years) to prepare for the income cut.

Lastly, involve your family. Writers’ lives always run smoother when the immediate family members are on the same team. Find ways to involve everyone so they don’t feel neglected.

It’s Temporary

My daughter’s nesting season won’t last forever. One day when she’s an old hand at the skills she’ll acquire to balance home and baby, she will (slowly, I hope) begin to add some “extras” back into her life. Maybe not everything, but some things she misses the most.

Likewise, the things you give up so you have time to devote to your writing is for a season. Once you have the writing skills well in hand, you will be able to slowly add back into your life a few of the things you miss most. But give sufficient time to your “writing season” first. You’ll be glad you did!

I love flying for the simple reason that you get to read on planes and in airports. Last week I re-read an old favorite If You Want to Write by Brenda Ueland (originally published in 1938). Reading some of her comments, you’d think she was writing in the 21st Century.

Chapter Ten has a lengthy title: “Why Women Who Do Too Much Housework Should Neglect It for Their Writing.” The chapter is about doing too much (unnecessary stuff) for others and neglecting your writing.

The More Things Change… 

While most of us today have enough modern conveniences that housework isn’t the time-consuming drudge it used to be, we’re trying to juggle home, day jobs, carpooling, throwing kids’ birthday parties, running the school’s bake sale, and a thousand other things. Some things are truly important to your child’s and family’s welfare, but much of it isn’t.

Let me quote Brenda Ueland and see if you agree: “They [wives/mothers] are always doing secondary and menial things (that do not require all their gifts and ability) for others and never anything for themselves. Society and husbands praise them for it (when they get too miserable or have nervous breakdowns) though always a little perplexedly and half-heartedly and just to be consoling. The poor wives are reminded that that is just why women are so splendid–because they are so unselfish and self-sacrificing and that is the wonderful thing about them! But inwardly women know that something is wrong.” 

That Was Then! Or Was It?

You might say, “But that was 1938!” Yes, but judging from the letters I get from mom/students, things haven’t changed all that much. We break our necks trying to keep up with whatever “expert” says a good wife or good mother does. We still “people please” and try to live our roles perfectly–instead of choosing what is the more excellent use of our time and doing that well.

My children (and now my kids and grandchildren) have always come before my writing. But in order to find time to write, I had to stop making my own pickles (like good farm wives did back then), running every children’s program at church, sewing costumes for plays, making applesauce out of the bushel of half-rotten apples given to me, painting my kitchen ceiling that was stained, and a host of other things. I wanted to write! Something had to give.

What About You?

Today I believe the pressures are much higher. Young parents are expected to have their children in several social groups starting in preschool, have big birthday parties for the kids, and be at everyone’s beck and call. Do you find that true in your life?

Could this be why you don’t have time to write? Does your family knowingly (or unknowingly) put pressure on you to give up all of your activities in favor of theirs? Or is the person putting pressure on you to be everything for everybody…you?

The second that I saw this cover at ALA in Denver, I knew I wanted to read this book. The title, the illustrations, everything called out to me. Unfortunately, there were no arcs left while I was on the floor, but I kept thinking about it. Now, loving a cover and title has backfired on me before, but I was hoping that this time would be different. A few reviews popped up in the blogs and I knew for sure that I wanted to read it, so I ordered my copy and waited for it to arrive!

It’s 1899 and Calpurnia is wilting away in rural Texas. She is eleven years old and the only girl in a family with 7 children. When her oldest, and favorite brother Harry hears about Callie’s inventive way to find earthworms in the packed Texas earth, he gives her a red leather notebook to record her findings and Callie’s summer as a naturalist truly begins.

One of the first things that she notices is that there is a new kind of grasshopper around. There were the quick emerald green ones that Callie has seen every summer, but there are also big, bright yellow ones. Callie asks everyone in her house (except for her formidable grandfather who lives with them, but tends to keep to himself studying in his laboratory) about the yellow hoppers, but nobody else has any knowledge of them at all. So Callie screws up her courage and goes to grandfather’s laboratory in order to ask him if in all his years he has seen the yellow grasshoppers before. His answer? “I suspect that a smart young whip like you can figure it out. Come back and tell me when you have.” (p.11) Callie figures that if her grandfather cannot help her, maybe Mr. Charles Darwin can, so she begs a ride into town from her brother for a trip to the library.

The librarian, however, is quite offended over Callie’s request. Without any help from grandfather or Mr. Darwin, Callie has only her own wits to help her out. After spending more time thinking about it, Callie does figure it out. Once she gets the nerve up to speak with her grandfather again, she tells him about her discovery. Her grandfather is quite impressed that Callie has figured this out on her own, and has her follow him into his library, where the children are never allowed. He hands Calpurnia his copy of An Origin of the Species and at that moment, Calpurnia and her grandfather are bonded together as scientists.

Grandfather starts taking Calpurnia on his daily outings to gather specimens, brings her in on his experiments trying to distill drinkable spirits from pecans, and he begins to tell her about the World. Over time, Callie really feels like she is a scientist. She can’t help but be disinterested in the handicrafts and cooking in which her best friend Lula seems to excel. But while her grandfather believes that Calpurnia can be a scientist, her mother has other ideas, and is soon imposing cooking and knitting lessons, and letting Calpurnia know that she will be expected to “come out” as the only girl in the Tate family. Callie feels so confused; will she have to put aside all of her aspirations in order to be a wife someday? Will she have to be like her mother, with a passel of children, taking doses of Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound just to get by?

Jacqueline Kelly has written a piece of historical fiction with depth, detail and characters that leap off the page. From the first telephone coming to town, to Callie’s grandfather’s first time sitting in an automobile, to the kerosene powered “wind machine”, readers will find themselves immersed in the sweeping changes that were happening at the dawn of the 20th century. Social commentary on class and slavery are worked in naturally, and the bold idea of evolution is front and center in the story. The heartbreaking aspect of Callie’s position of being a girl is perfectly placed and I hope that young readers will ponder their own privilege and position, or even the lack thereof upon reading this book. I slowed down at the end, simply because I wasn’t ready to let go of Calpurnia.

Simply wonderful.

Do people come up to you and ask you to tell their story? Do you walk away from school visits with loads of new story ideas that kids give you like sticks of gum? Do adults drop hints about stories you could work on?

What about your family? Are they the worst of all?

You might be a writer if...you hear "you should write this" A LOT.

"You should write this" comes out of all corners. For a while, when I was still a newbie to writing, I didn't hear it at all. It's like being the new kid on the block. People around you can't figure out if you're in the writing gig for good, or you're goofing off.

Then that first book or article comes out, and whoa, ideas suddenly come flying toward you.

I didn't know what to do with them at first. Listen and nod politely? File them away? Write them out? Where is the advice on this in the writer operating instructions booklet?

What people want me to do, I've learned through trial and error, varies greatly. Okay, they all hope I write the ideas into something, but how those ideas should turn out is what varies so much.

Kids are the best. At school visits, I get all kinds of ideas tossed at me, like so many colorful balls. I try to volley them back because, you know, I might actually be talking to the next William Faulkner or Stephen King. You never know. Maybe all they need is a little push. I've seen some amazing stuff from kids nobody would ever expect had so much writing talent. So, each time a child tells me "you should write this" I say, "what if you did?" (And then there are a few ideas, I admittedly stick in my pocket. I did mention last week we authors like to pilfer.)

Adults are a little trickier. They sort of expect you to write out an idea if they take the time to tell you about it. Some of them are pretty good. A friend of mine met me and my family at our most favorite donut shop on Saturday before soccer. My family and I LOVE this donut shop. Family run. The donut maker is a real artist. He makes donuts into shapes and then colors them. I've never seen anything like it anywhere. And they taste fantabulous. It's worth traveling to Tulsa just to try them. Believe me. So it's probably not all that surprising that my friend suggested (as I was on my 3rd donut) I do an article on the origins of donuts. Now that happened to be a very good idea. Because I'm just itching to get back in the kitchen and interview this donut master, if he'll let me in. Plus, it turns out, the Dutch came up with donuts. So I'm altering my trip to Europe this summer to make a pass through Amsterdam so I can photograph some Dutch donuts. That was an amazing idea. No strings attached.

The tricky part comes when it's family. My immediate family is one thing. They live with me and they've learned that I pilfer, change up, and turn into something new. If they share an idea with me, who knows what it might turn into or where. And if it's my kids, I try to put the idea right back in their hands and challenge them to write something. I don't always succeed. Case in point. My daughter was at the opera this week. Her first time. She came home with three tickets.

Daughter: (Holds out tickets with huge smile on face) "I've got something for your blog."
Me: "Thanks, sweetie. That's really nice, but why don't you write about your trip?"
Daughter: (Face falls. Hand lowers.) "But I got them for you. I collected them off the floor so you'd have more than one. Can't you use them, please???"
Me: (Guilt-ridden and seriously impressed that her journalistic skills are kicking in so early.) "Okay."
Here they are:

When it comes to my extended family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, things get really tricky. I am my family's memory keeper. Not their story teller because that would mean I could pilfer and pillage history with abandon and then turn it into anything I want. Not when it's family. I'm the historian. The biographer. The living tape recorder (if such things still exist). When my family gives me an idea, they want it transferred to paper exactly as it happened. If I don't, well, there have been some sticky moments. And disppointment. Pencil thin lips and shaking heads. Sigh. Family events mean double duty. First record then take said events back to my secret writing lab and tinker with until I infuse them with new life Buahahahahhaha. (evil mad scientist laugh)

"You should write this". We get it a lot. It's often pretty helpful. Many of us use it. But what to do about the expectations that are attached to it? Maybe we should follow the movie industry, issue a disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this piece are purely fictional. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Can I write with abandon now?

We're thinking about colleges here at our house. Which leads to talk of college majors. Which leads to talk of careers.

And here's my guilty secret: I love career counseling books. Whenever I'm feeling unsure about my own work as a writer, I break out a career book and try to find another line of work.

I used to do this quite seriously and passionately, determined to find something I could immediately channel my frustration into, but now, I do it with amusement and the same guilty pleasure that I feel trying on shoes I know I'll never buy. Yeah, those olive green oooh shiny patent leather wow those make my legs look good heels make my heart quicken, and they would work for that one dress, but really...I go barefoot most of the day. And yeah, reading about being a film editor or legal mediator is exciting, but really...just thinking about those careers is enough. I don't have to actually buy them, take them out of the store, and wear them every day to get a jolt out of it.

Not so with the writing boots. The more I read about them, talk about them, see them lined up on the floor, the more I want to stick my feet in them and tromp around.

If you want to do a little guilty career shopping, Do What You Are, based on Myers-Briggs personality type, is one of my favorite books. Guess what it says is one of the secrets to my type's success? The right shoes.

Ha! No, it actually says: "Developing realistic expectations." But that's the same thing, right?

I was doing some thinking this morning about the routines I’ll need to rehearse with my students this-coming September. My mind went from general (e.g., walking in the hallways, fire drills) to the specific (i.e., Writing Workshop). Therefore, I figured I’d post my working list of structures I want to teach my fourth [...]

I love ghost stories. And I mean ghost stories, rather than horror stories. If truth be known I am the world’s most squeamish person. I really do hate the sight of blood, which is the only reason why I haven’t seen Sweeney Todd yet. Anyway, enough of my foibles. I have been looking for an excuse for posting an excerpt from our book Mother Leakey and the Bishop: A Ghost Story, by Peter Marshall, for ages, but so far haven’t been able to come up with one. So, today I am posting it for no other reason than I really loved this book of literary detective work, and I hope you will too. Enjoy!

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