Purple prose consists of passages so cloying, over the top, or dramatic that they create speed bumps for the reader. It employs an abundance of adjectives and dense descriptive detail.
Purple prose should be weeded out when found, unless that is your preferred writing style. In which case, you may deter some readers and agents.
The worst offenders are romantic scenes, because writers try to avoid clinical terms for the acts of love and body parts. A lot of slang words are too crude and don't fit the mood of the piece.
Purple prose can be a product of weak description writing. Some writers stuff so many descriptions in a paragraph the reader forgets the topic.
1) Avoid using annoying phrases:
- bated breath (not baited!)
- cupid lips,
- framed by
- heart-shaped face
- limped pools
- manly chin
- revealed
- set off by
- steely eyes
- heaving or swelling bosom,
- tumescent member
- twirling lock of hair
- wriggling eyebrows
2) Avoid melodramatic descriptions:
Her ample bosom heaved as he slowly untied her frilled, satin night dress. His caress made her tremble like a delicate blossom in the breeze as he nibbled on the petals of her ears.
3) Avoid descriptions that go on ... and on ... and on.
She stood there, like a pale lilly, swaying in the wind, her corn silk hair floating around her heart-shaped face like golden cloud, obscuring her sky-blue eyes. The flyaway strands parted as her rosebud lips pursed and blew them aside. Her gauzy white gown clung to her voluptuous curves. She was the absolute embodiment of a seductive angel.
An effective cumulative sentence (base clause plus two or three descriptive phrases) is a master craft. Stuffing as many fluffy descriptions as you can think of into a sentence is not masterful.
? Have you used melodrama intentionally, such as in dialogue or poking fun of a situation?
? Can you tone it down?
? Have you committed purple prose abuse?
? Does the language fit the background and personality of the character uttering it?
For all of the revision tips on purple prose and other revision layers, pick up a copy of:
Last week I discovered the terms, “Blue Language” and “Purple Prose.” I hope that doesn’t make me appear dumb, but I figured if I had to look for answers than maybe some of you might be sailing in the same boat with me and enjoy reading a little about both. First I will give you the definitions and then share what Author and Agent John Cusick had to say about both.
BLUE LANGUAGE: bad language, billingsgate, colorful language, cursing, cussing, dirty language, dirty talk, dysphemism, evil speaking, filth, filthy language, foul language, obscenity, profane swearing, profanity, ribaldry, scatology, strong language, swearing, unparliamentary language, unrepeatable expressions, vile language, vulgar language (you get the idea.)
Agent John Cusick says, “teens love blue (profane or vulgar) language. (So do I.) It’s fun, funny, taboo, and often the way teenagers speak to one another. Raised by a mother who talks like a trucker, I have to check myself, when I speak and when I write, to ensure I don’t curse a…well, a blue streak. But fiction, and especially dialog, must be believable, which ironically is not always the same thing as true-to-life. At times “realistic’ teen dialog is so vulgar as to be distracting. And that’s the real problem with extreme language of any kind: it steals focus. I don’t want my readers thinking about my protagonist’s foul mouth when they should be thinking about her broken heart.
Today I struggled to tamp both purple and blue. In the scene I was working on, my protagonist and her boyfriend slip into the bushes for some hanky-panky. My first impulse was to pan away and describe the slowly spinning wheel of boyfriend’s bike as it glints in the sun. Yawn. Turning focus back to the kids, I found myself using the same blue language the characters themselves would have used to describe their actions, but the result was too graphic. I settled for skipping the play-by-play entirely and used suggestive post-romp details instead. This was the result:
They made it as far as Sweet Creek before a private path through the trees enticed them off the road. They let the bike fall with a crunch, the upended front wheel spinning freely. Twenty minutes later Cherry was brushing a mud stain from her slacks, and Lucas searched for his sock in the bushes.
“You have leaves in your hair,” he said.
“I have leaves everywhere.” She felt like a wild woods girl, a sprite. She wanted to climb into the nearest oak and fall asleep. She stretched, felt an ache above her solar plexus and winced.
PURPLE PROSE:
Purple prose is a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader’s response.
When it is limited to certain passages, they may be termed purple patches or purple passages; these are often noted as standing out from the rest of the work.
Again I quote John. He says, “I’m a sucker for purple prose. I’m not proud of it, but alliteration makes me swoon, as does a prettily described sunset or milkmaid. (Some favorite examples appear in Proust’s Swan
Blue language? That’s a new one for me. Now I can look smart to those who I critique. Seriously speaking, I love the scene you opted to do. It is subtle…and even more grapic in some odd way.