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1. Find and Replace Tool

One of the most useful tools to utilize during the revision phase of your first draft is the Find and Replace tool. The instructions here are for Word for Windows, but a similar function should be available for other word processing programs.

Within Word, you turn it on by simply clicking on [Control] and [F] at the same time (the letter F not the function key).

When revising, it is a good idea to save the draft as a new version each time in case you make a major mistake and need to go back to the previous version. You do this by selecting [Save As] and entering the Your Title Rev 1 (2,3,4,5,6,7, etc). When you have completely finished all editing and revising, save it as Your Title Final File.

1. If you do a quick rough draft you may have lots of blanks with placeholders **fill in here** or other placeholders (XXX) (#) for names, places, dates, locations, etc. Searching for ** or your placeholder cues will quickly take you from one placeholder to the next.

2. Develop a list of repetitive words. It may change and/or grow with every book you write.

3. Develop a list of adjectives. We all have personal favorites. You can use the starter list in Story Building Blocks III and add to it as you go.

4. Develop a list of adverbs or search for *.ly. This might take a while. 

5. Develop a list of body language words and emotion words. Fill in your placeholders or make certain that your characters aren't yawning, grimacing, frowning, or sighing on every other page.

6. Search for passive language by looking for the word was. I guarantee this will take a long time. Make certain to enter a space before the word was followed by another space: [ was ], otherwise every word containing the letters was together (wash, swash, twas) will be highlighted.

7. Use [Find] and [Replace] to change the name of a place or character. Use [Find Next] rather than [Replace All]. Why? Here's an example.

Let's say you want to replace the word format with method. The program searches for all the places the combination of letters appears. It may change words you never intended: information becomes inmethodion.

If your character's name is May and you decide to change her name to Sally, you end up with, “I sally not want to,” instead of “I may not want to.” The word maybe becomes sallybe. You see the problem.

8. Don't mass delete.

A quick way of deleting a word is to use [Find], but never [Delete All] or you could end up with gibberish. Let's say you want to remove all the "could have"s.  Go to each one individually. You may have to reword the sentence so it still makes sense.

9. If you make a mistake, [Control] [Z] or [Undo] is your best friend. It can, however, take you back further than intended. Which leads us to ...

10. Save frequently with [Control] [S].

Saving after every change slows you down too much, so I don't advise it. You should save the file frequently enough, perhaps at the end of each page, to mitigate heartache if your computer goes haywire, turns off in the middle, or you unintentionally select [Undo] and an entire paragraph disappears. Weird things happen.

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2. Narative Summary


There is an art to narrative summary. Ideally the information should be related through the point of view character's lens, not an info dump, like this:

The city was founded in 1779 by tea and sugar plantation owners who commissioned elaborate mansions on top of the hill with a view of the inlet that was large enough to dock their ships. Small villages soon cropped up along the periphery to house the tradesmen needed to service their needs. Over the centuries, the spaces between were filled until it became a crowded, mish-mash of squalor and grandeur.

This passage provides the information, but dully and through the prism of the writer, not the character. 

Info dumps are often found in prologues, epilogues, summaries of what happened in previous books, long dialogue passages, as you know dialogue, long explanations of how things work, and extensive backstory.

Here are a few examples of how to use narrative summary effectively.

1. Narrative summary helps you skip ahead.

Sometimes you have to provide important background, condense time, and relate events that don't deserve a lot of page time through narrative summary. 

The call came at five o'clock on a Saturday. Dick never forgot the pitch of the sun through the pines or the way his boots sank in the mud as he arrived at a scene to view his first corpse. After fifteen years, he'd seen so many bodies, in myriad locations,and every season.He no longer got the shakes, or the sicks, or the rapid pulse, but the scent of pine, dirt, and dying heat still filled his nostrils when he received a summons. Funny how some things stuck. He snapped on gloves and booties before ducking under the yellow tape blocking a snow-drenched alleyway in the heart of downtown Chicago. "What've we got?" 

Narrative skips over the boring bits. Shift it into real-time when possible, particularly if you find paragraphs of it. Use specific details and strong word choices.

1) Narrative summary can offer new information or recap necessary information. 

It should support, extend, or refute the information given through dialogue and action. It can add context in a timely fashion and set up expectation. It uses a few words that work hard and lead into or trail action and dialogue. If narrative runs on for paragraphs or pages, you have some editing to do.

The carpet fibers were a dead end: could have come from any low-rent apartment anywhere in town. The call-ins were a bunch of attention-seeking loonies. No legitimate suspects. No obvious motive. No one seemed to know anything about Jane. That was the problem these days: everyone had bloody telephones and computers and social media but never talked to their neighbors. Jane worked from home and played games with virtual friends. She ordered everything online or shopped at big box stores where everyone was strange and a stranger. There were no angles to grab hold of. Who would kill a girl who never seemed to leave her flat? But girls didn't just drag themselves into the woods, cover themselves with debris, and choke themselves with their own pantyhose.

2. Narrative transitions between scenes.

Dick skipped the shower and shave and was at the crime scene by nine thirty. He stood next to the corpse lying on the ground who obviously hadn’t shaved in days either and the bath in the river hadn’t done him any favors.

3. Narrative wrinkles time.

Four days sped by in a series of dead leads and dull conversations. Dick tackled the stacks of paperwork he had successfully ignored for a month, drank gallons of coffee, and smoked endless packs of cigarettes. His anxiety grew like a bonfire as he waited for the DNA results.


Revision Tips
? Read through your manuscript. Highlight areas that contain narrative. Decide whether you should turn narrative into action and dialogue. If not, is it serving a distinct purpose? Does it support, extend, add to, or refute a proposition? Does it condense time or provide important background?
? Does it involve tertiary characters or actions that are of lesser importance?
? Does it involve clichés?
? Have you told the reader what someone thinks or feels instead of showing it?

For more revision tips on revision and narrative summary check out.

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3. Interjections

Interjections are exclamations or parenthetical words that add color to your dialogue or internal dialogue. They are set off from the rest of the sentence with a comma or set of commas. They can be followed by an exclamation point. However, if the sentence is doing its job, you shouldn't need it.

Interjections express a gamut of emotions: surprise, doubt, fear, anger, hate, happiness, joy, glee, disgust, or sarcasm. They insult, incite, and ignite.

Here are a few examples (minus profanity, which is another topic).

All right
Cool
Far out
As if
Yeh, right
Dig it
Yo
Fair enough
Ouch
Dang it
For real?
Duh
No way
Sure
Yay
Whoot
Hilarious
Screw it
Drat
Yes
Lord have mercy
Meh
Cheers
Ciao
Oops
Oy
Touche
Big whoop
Nope
Nada

My YA series Mythikas Island was set in pre-written-history Greece. Not being able to reach for any of the usual curse words, insults, etc. felt like wearing a straight jacket. I ended up typing *insert insult/curse here* and developing a list of options later.

Here are a few tips when revising:

1.  As you go through your rough draft, it is okay to insert placeholders and fill them in later. You may want to put some thought into the types of insults and interjections you characters will use.

2. It is important that the interjections fit the time and place in a historical novel. Look up the first time your word or phrase was used. Nitpickers love to point out errors.

3. When you write fantasy or science fiction, developing unique interjections helps your story world come alive.

4. Avoid overuse. Strings of expletives or exclamation points are annoying. As you read through your rough draft, highlight the interjections. If you have too many packed together, space them out.

5. You can make them character specific. People living in the same place and time with little exposure to the outside world tend to use the same vocabulary. However, each character can have their favorites or quirks.

6. If you have a diverse cast, each can have their own set of interjections, perhaps in different langauges. Avoid stereotypes. 

7. Avoid clichés . You can twist existing interjections in new ways. 

8. Interjections change as time passes. There is no way to avoid dating your book with them.

9. You can't cut them all. Your story would be lackluster without a few strategically placed verbal punches.

10. They can be used for comic relief. Sometimes after a tense moment, you need a little levity.

If you invent unique injterjections, they may become part of our language or at least the language of your fans. They may even be added to the dictionary. You could be the author of a new catchphrase.

For more information on revision, pick up a copy of:

http://www.amazon.com/Story-Building-Blocks-III-Revision/dp/1475011369

http://www.amazon.com/Story-Building-Blocks-III-Revision-ebook/dp/B007SPPL68


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4. Purple Prose



Purple prose consists of passages so cloying, over the top, or dramatic that they create speed bumps for the reader. It employs an abundance of adjectives and dense descriptive detail. 

Purple prose should be weeded out when found, unless that is your preferred writing style. In which case, you may deter some readers and agents. 

The worst offenders are romantic scenes, because writers try to avoid clinical terms for the acts of love and body parts. A lot of slang words are too crude and don't fit the mood of the piece. 

Purple prose can be a product of weak description writing. Some writers stuff so many descriptions in a paragraph the reader forgets the topic.

1) Avoid using annoying phrases:

  • bated breath (not baited!)
  • cupid lips,
  • framed by
  • heart-shaped face
  • limped pools
  • manly chin
  • revealed
  • set off by
  • steely eyes
  • heaving or swelling bosom,
  • tumescent member
  • twirling lock of hair
  • wriggling eyebrows

2) Avoid melodramatic descriptions:

Her ample bosom heaved as he slowly untied her frilled, satin night dress. His caress made her tremble like a delicate blossom in the breeze as he nibbled on the petals of her ears.

3) Avoid descriptions that go on ... and on ... and on. 

She stood there, like a pale lilly, swaying in the wind, her corn silk hair floating around her heart-shaped face like golden cloud, obscuring her sky-blue eyes. The flyaway strands parted as her rosebud lips pursed and blew them aside. Her gauzy white gown clung to her voluptuous curves. She was the absolute embodiment of a seductive angel.

An effective cumulative sentence (base clause plus two or three descriptive phrases) is a master craft. Stuffing as many fluffy descriptions as you can think of into a sentence is not masterful.

REVISION TIPS


?  Have you used melodrama intentionally, such as in dialogue or poking fun of a situation?
? Can you tone it down?
? Have you committed purple prose abuse?
? Does the language fit the background and personality of the character uttering it?

For all of the revision tips on purple prose and other revision layers, pick up a copy of: 

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5. Literary Essays

I started thinking about the next unit of study, Literary Essays, that I’m going to teach in March (even though my students are only half-way through their fiction unit of study). Therefore, I spent some time creating my students’ collection folders yesterday. Here’s a peek at what they look like: [...]

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6. Long Time Passing

Children's Picturebook Collecting offers the following statement:
Based upon our experience, there are fewer key collectible picturebooks on the online market than a year ago, continuing a trend we have seen over the past couple of years.

Try a search on any of the metasearch book finding websites, such as ABEBooks, Addall, Bookfinder, or the ABAA, for first edition Caldecott Medal books, or Beginner Books, or I Can Read Books, or Seuss books. Sort the results from high price to low price (the thought being the high priced books would most likely be first editions), and see how many books turn up. The results will show that many first edition books are not currently being offered for sale.

Entirely possible. They go one to explain why this might be. Well worth a glance by your eyes, if you like.

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7. Pokemon & Popular Culture _ CLIP 37

In This Show: Pokemon, Popular Culture and Discourse Analysis Coming Up in Next Week’s Show: Podcamp New York! Let me know where you are: Click on ‘Join the CLIP Frappr Map’ in the menu bar. Post a comment: Click the comment button below or leave a voice mail by clicking ‘leave me a message’ in the menu bar or by calling [...]

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8. Childhood Revisited _ CLIP 27

On Today’s Show: Reflections on listener feedback Mark Blevis includes CLIP in his top 10 Most Underrated Podcasts List! CLIP is nominated for the Podcast Peer Awards in the Education category. Thanks To: Mark Blevis and Andrea Ross of Just One More Book, Charles Cadenhead of Mostly News and Desperate Husbands, Dave and Heather Delaney of Two Boobs and [...]

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9. We Know How McDonald’s Thinks _CLIP 25

On Today’s Show: Unpacking the Happy Meal in a Kindergarten Classroom CLIP is nominated for the Podcast Peer Awards in the Education category. McDonald’s is Podcasting…Hmmmm Thanks To: Charles Cadenhead, Andrea Ross, Andy Bilodeau Podcasts/ Podcasters Mentioned: Just One More Book Just One More Book Mostly News Mostly News Desperate Husbands The AndyCast Let me know where you are: Click on ‘Join the CLIP Frappr Map’ in [...]

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10. Social Action Text Set & Podcasting_CLIP 22

On Today’s Show: Tonight’s show is the final installation of a three part series, which was recorded on the beautiful island of Hawaii, at the International Reading Association’s Regional Conference which was held there a few weeks ago. What is a Text Set? A Social Action Text Set Expanded Podcasting and Educational Settings Please Support Kamehameha Schools Click here [...]

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11. Negotiating Social Action Projects_CLIP21

On Today’s Show: Tonight’s show is part two of a three part series, which was recorded on the beautiful island of Hawaii, at the International Reading Association’s Regional Conference which was held there two weeks ago. Negotiating Spaces for Critical Literacy Social Action in a JK Classroom Upcoming Shows NOTE: Some of the audio had to be re-recorded on [...]

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12. From Kid-watching to Podcasting _ CLIP20

In this week’s show: This week’s show is dedicated to my Hawaiian colleagues: Mahalo to my Hawaiian colleagues and friends especially Liana Honda, JoAnn Wong-Kam, Anna Sumida, Alice Kimura, Joyce Ahuna-Ka’ai’ai, Meleanna Meyer, Kathy Wurdem, Avis Masuda, and Malia Chong. This show is dedicated to you! I left Hawaii in awe of your passion, and commitment [...]

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13. Everyday Texts and Popular Culture _ CLIP19

The view from our lanai. In this week’s show: Aloha from Hawaii! Thank you to Liana Honda (President Aloha State Council for Literacy) Dedication to Denny Taylor and my Literacy colleagues at Hofstra University CLIP is Charles Cadenhead’s Podcast Pickle pick of the day for Tues., Nov. 14! Podcasts Mentioned: Mostly News, Desperate Husbands, Podcast Pickle, Just One More Book. Music: Little Rock Getaway [...]

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14. Handy Manny:Latino Role Model or Stereotype _ CLIP 9

Handy Manny: Latino Role Model or Stereotype? In this show: Happy Birthday to Andrea and Lucy, Tools for thinking about Disney’s “Handy Manny” Special Thanks to : Kevan Miller for the station ID. Music: Happy Birthday by Craymo Podcasts Mentioned: Just One More Book Websites Mentioned: Latin_Know, Vivir Latino Participate in the show. Subscribe and listen in iTunes XML Feed Location : feed://www.bazmakaz.com/clip/?feed=rss2 Let [...]

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15. Re-thinking “The Way Things Are” _ CLIP 7

Re-thinking “The Way Things Are” In this show: Critical Insights on “You, Me, and Dupree”, Cheerleader by Deirdre Flint Music: Cheerleader by Deirdre Flint from the Podsafe Music Network Special Thanks to : Sarah Vander Zanden, Bloomington, IN, for the Station ID Podcasts Mentioned: Podcasts for Educators ,Catfish Show, Just One More Book, Andycast Participate in the show. Subscribe [...]

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16. Unpacking Stereotypes _ CLIP 6

Unpacking Stereotypes Continued… In this show: Clip is on the Educational podcasting for teaching and learning Directory of the UK , Problematizing the Wild Indian Stereotype, Jesse James : Diga and the Earth is Crying Music: Earth is Crying by Jesse James and Diga Special Thanks to : Kelly Winney, from Windsor, ON, for the Station [...]

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17. Multi-media Text Set _ CLIP 3

A Multimedia Text Set Recorded and produced on the road in Mississauga, ON, Canada. Reminder: CLIP is now at www.clippodcast.com In this show: A critical literacy blog from the UK, “A is for Aunty”

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18. Three to Five-Year-Olds Take Social Action _ CLIP 1

Welcome to CLIP! In this show; introducing the podcast and 3-5 year olds take social action. Music : Little by Little by Justin Gordon and Quit My Day Job by Geoff Smith Participate in the show. Subscribe and listen in iTunes XML Feed Location : feed://www.bazmakaz.com/clip/?feed=rss2 Let me know where you are by clicking on ‘Join the CLIP Frappr [...]

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