SANTA SLIMS DOWN: a Christmas story of rebellion and compromise
By Eleanor Tylbor
My annual sharing of the play focusing on Santa's need to lose weight in order to fly on Christmas Eve.
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
SANTA CLAUS – the jolly, old elf himself who ate one too many cook
MRS. CLAUS – Santa's faithful wife, who is worried about Santa’s cholestrol
RUDOLPH AND THE REINDEER GANG
SCENE: SANTA'S WORKSHOP, TWO WEEKS BEFORE "THE" TRIP. SANTA IS CHECKING OVER HIS TOYS. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR RUDOLPH, ACCOMPANIED BY DONNER AND BLITZEN BARGE IN
AT RISE: A MUCH MORE PLUMP THAN USUAL SANTA IS SITTING AT A TABLE FILLED WITH TOYS
SANTA
This is an expected surprise, boys. To what do I owe this visit?
RUDOLPH
(moving his antlers from side-to-side defiantly)
We're here to give you a message, Santa
RUDOLPH
It’s about food
SANTA
(eating one cookie after another)
Mmm - good. Love those chocolate chips. You want one of these cookies? Why didn’t you say so? Plenty enough to go ‘round
RUDOLPH
Santa, there's something we really gotta tell you…
DONNER
- it's real important-like…
BLITZEN
…major important
RUDOLPH
(Turns around and addresses DONNER and BLITZEN)
Is there an echo, here? Did you not make me, Rudolph, the spokes-deer? Maybe one of youse wants’ta take over?
DONNER
(staring down at his feet)
And…you do a great job, Rudy. Super job
BLITZEN
You our main reindeer, man!
RUDOLPH
I mean, if one of youse guys can say it better…
DONNER
No-no… You’re the best
RUDOLPH
So lemme do the job! Cheez – everyone wants'ta be a star… Now where was I? See Santa, we're worried!
DONNER AND BLITZEN
(together)
Real worried!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
Hello? D'ya mind?
SANTA nibbles on a cookie while watching a train run around a track
SANTA
Oh my-oh-my! I love watching the train speed around the track. Um… Worried? About what, boys? Now just look at this train go. The elves finished it this morning
RUDOLPH
How can I say this nicely -
DONNER AND BLITZEN
Just tell him! You gotta!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
One more word from either of youse…
DONNER/BLITZEN
Sor-ree! We're just trying to help…
RUDOLPH
Well don't! You elected me head of the North Pole Reindeer Union so lemme do the job!
SANTA
What’s this all about, boys? Could somebody tell me?
RUDOLPH
I'm tryin' Santa, I'm really tryin’ if only these two big mouths would let me
BLITZEN
We promise we won't say another word, See? We’re zipping our mouths closed
DONNER
Maybe one word - two at the most. Sorry…
RUDOLPH
It's about your - um - well… Your shape
SANTA
(laughing)
My shape? I’m Santa! I’m supposed to look this way
RUDOLPH
It's um - very round
SANTA
(laughing)
This is not news, Rudolph. Now if you'll excuse me…I’m very busy here…
RUDOLPH
Much more than usual, Santa. Much… much… more
SANTA
I’ve always looked like this. You know that!
RUDOLPH
It hurts me to h
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By: scriberess,
on 12/16/2011
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By: scriberess,
on 12/19/2009
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: diet, play, Rudolph, eleanor tylbor, Santa Slims Down, reindeeers, Christmas, toys, humor, comedy, Santa Claus, cookies, Add a tag
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
SANTA CLAUS – the jolly, old elf himself who ate one too many cookies
MRS. CLAUS – Santa's faithful wife, who is worried about Santa’s cholestrol
RUDOLPH AND THE REINDEER GANG
SCENE: SANTA'S WORKSHOP, TWO WEEKS BEFORE "THE" TRIP. SANTA IS CHECKING OVER HIS TOYS. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR RUDOLPH, ACCOMPANIED BY DONNER AND BLITZEN BARGE IN
AT RISE: A MUCH MORE PLUMP THAN USUAL SANTA IS SITTING AT A TABLE FILLED WITH TOYS
SANTA
This is an expected surprise, boys. To what do I owe this visit?
RUDOLPH
(moving his antlers from side-to-side defiantly)
We're here to give you a message, Santa
RUDOLPH
It’s about food
SANTA
(eating one after the other)
You want one of these cookies? Why didn’t you say so? Plenty enough to go ‘round
RUDOLPH
Santa, there's something we really gotta tell you…
DONNER
- it's real important-like…
BLITZEN
…major important
RUDOLPH
(Turns around and addresses DONNER and BLITZEN)
Is there an echo, here? Did you not make me, Rudolph, the spokes-deer? Maybe one of youse wants’ta take over?
DONNER
And…you do a great job, Rudy. Super
BLITZEN
You our main reindeer, man!
RUDOLPH
I mean, if one of youse guys can say it better…
DONNER
No-no… You’re the best
RUDOLPH
So lemme do the job! Cheez – everyone wants'ta be a star… Now where was I? See Santa, we're worried!
DONNER AND BLITZEN
(together)
Real worried!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
Hello? D'ya mind?
SANTA nibbles on a cookie while watching a train run
around a track
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By: scriberess,
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By: scriberess,
on 12/19/2009
Blog: A. PLAYWRIGHT'S RAMBLINGS (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: diet, play, Rudolph, eleanor tylbor, Santa Slims Down, reindeeers, Christmas, toys, humor, comedy, Santa Claus, cookies, Add a tag
SANTA SLIMS DOWN - A CHRISTMAS FANTASY
By Eleanor Tylbor
By Eleanor Tylbor
CAST OF CHARACTERS:
SANTA CLAUS – the jolly, old elf himself who ate one too many cookies
MRS. CLAUS – Santa's faithful wife, who is worried about Santa’s cholestrol
RUDOLPH AND THE REINDEER GANG
SCENE: SANTA'S WORKSHOP, TWO WEEKS BEFORE "THE" TRIP. SANTA IS CHECKING OVER HIS TOYS. THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR RUDOLPH, ACCOMPANIED BY DONNER AND BLITZEN BARGE IN
AT RISE: A MUCH MORE PLUMP THAN USUAL SANTA IS SITTING AT A TABLE FILLED WITH TOYS
SANTA
This is an expected surprise, boys. To what do I owe this visit?
RUDOLPH
(moving his antlers from side-to-side defiantly)
We're here to give you a message, Santa
RUDOLPH
It’s about food
SANTA
(eating one after the other)
You want one of these cookies? Why didn’t you say so? Plenty enough to go ‘round
RUDOLPH
Santa, there's something we really gotta tell you…
DONNER
- it's real important-like…
BLITZEN
…major important
RUDOLPH
(Turns around and addresses DONNER and BLITZEN)
Is there an echo, here? Did you not make me, Rudolph, the spokes-deer? Maybe one of youse wants’ta take over?
DONNER
And…you do a great job, Rudy. Super
BLITZEN
You our main reindeer, man!
RUDOLPH
I mean, if one of youse guys can say it better…
DONNER
No-no… You’re the best
RUDOLPH
So lemme do the job! Cheez – everyone wants'ta be a star… Now where was I? See Santa, we're worried!
DONNER AND BLITZEN
(together)
Real worried!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
Hello? D'ya mind?
SANTA nibbles on a cookie while watching a train run
around a track
SANTA
Oh my-oh-my! I love watching the train speed around the track. Um… Worried? About what, boys? Now just look at this train go. The elves finished it this morning
RUDOLPH
How can I say this nicely -
DONNER AND BLITZEN
Just tell him! You gotta!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
One more word from either of youse…
DONNER/BLITZEN
Sor-ree! We're just trying to help…
RUDOLPH
Well don't! You elected me head of the North Pole Reindeer Union so lemme do the job!
SANTA
What’s this all about, boys? Could somebody tell me?
RUDOLPH
I'm tryin' Santa, I'm really tryin’ if only these two big mouths would let me
BLITZEN
We promise we won't say another word, See? We’re zipping our mouths closed
DONNER
Maybe one word - two at the most. Sorry…
RUDOLPH
It's about your - um - well… Your shape
SANTA
(laughing)
My shape? I’m Santa! I’m supposed to look this way
RUDOLPH
It's um - very round
SANTA
(laughing)
This is not news, Rudolph. Now if you'll excuse me…I’m very busy here…
RUDOLPH
Much more than usual, Santa. Much… much… more
SANTA
I’ve always looked like this. You know that!
Oh my-oh-my! I love watching the train speed around the track. Um… Worried? About what, boys? Now just look at this train go. The elves finished it this morning
RUDOLPH
How can I say this nicely -
DONNER AND BLITZEN
Just tell him! You gotta!
RUDOLPH
(whirling around)
One more word from either of youse…
DONNER/BLITZEN
Sor-ree! We're just trying to help…
RUDOLPH
Well don't! You elected me head of the North Pole Reindeer Union so lemme do the job!
SANTA
What’s this all about, boys? Could somebody tell me?
RUDOLPH
I'm tryin' Santa, I'm really tryin’ if only these two big mouths would let me
BLITZEN
We promise we won't say another word, See? We’re zipping our mouths closed
DONNER
Maybe one word - two at the most. Sorry…
RUDOLPH
It's about your - um - well… Your shape
SANTA
(laughing)
My shape? I’m Santa! I’m supposed to look this way
RUDOLPH
It's um - very round
SANTA
(laughing)
This is not news, Rudolph. Now if you'll excuse me…I’m very busy here…
RUDOLPH
Much more than usual, Santa. Much… much… more
SANTA
I’ve always looked like this. You know that!
0 Comments on as of 12/19/2009 7:30:00 PM
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OK you guys, listen up here. Who in the name of tossed tinsel does Rudolph R.N. Reindeer think he is.
This upstart has been around only since 1939. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen et al since the 1830s from Clement Moore's poem.
Rudy, was created by a Robert May, a copywriter for Chicago's Montgomery Ward Store, as a coloring-in book for children - remember it was depression time and money was scarce.
The popular song depicting Rudolph and his nose helping out Santa was recoded by actor/singer Gene Autry in 1949.
This commentator thinks that Rudy should know his place and stop emulating a Follywood gangster and have a little humility.
So-called ninth reindeer he may be, but he can always be replaced as a guide by a GPS.
So, reindeer, quit worrying about San ta's avoirdupois problem - that's Mrs C's department. You just do your job, pull the sleigh an' quit bellyaching, capiche?