For the mom who doesn't know where her kid is tonight. The aunt raising her nephew because her sister would rather have a boyfriend than a kid. The parent whose children are using drugs. Or the grandma mommy who has a toddler with anxiety disorders. For the daughter who's been abandoned by her parents. The wife who just received the dear Jane letter from her spouse. Or the teenage girl standing outside the abortion clinic. For those struggling to understand why a loving God would allow such cruelness in the world.
He hears you.
He knows your pain.
He is right by your side.
He knows your every thought
and loves you anyway.
Jesus went to the cross for you friend. He loved you enough before you ever entered your mother's womb to lay down His life as a sacrifice for whatever you are facing right now. And He will still love you whether you make the correct decisions or not. Whether your faith is of a mustard seed. Whether you are contemplating suicide or checking into the local rehab. Jesus is with you, my darling. And He will not ever go away. Cling to Him. He is right beside you. Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel His presence. He really is right there. I know, because when I am at my lowest of lows, I feel Him when I don't feel as if I am loved by any other.
It's one o'clock in the morning, and I woke (I mean wide awake) up and immediately began to think about all the ludicrous circumstances and people in my life. I don't normally go around name calling. But there are just some, you know the ones.
Yesterday somebody I am (for lack of a better word) over decided to assert themselves. For once, in my hormonal state (which, by the way, is no excuse) I went off. I posted on facebook with a mile long status, letting people who pretend to be parents have it.
Within eight minutes, I deleted the post.
Why did I delete it? I have a plethora of reasons, my lovelies. Beginning with the fact that where your heart is, there also is your big mouth. My heart was not in the right place. I want to do everything I do in excellence, and going off the way I did only proves that I am every ugly word the other party has conjured over a bonefire of me. Quite frankly, I removed it because- I am still a Princess and I shouldn't have gone there.
I've been in a season of life where my heart wants to forgive and FORGET the immorality of others. To truly release them of all sin against me. A place where I walk away and pray instead of shooting off the snarky mouth I've won many contests and battles for. A bright, sunshiny area filled with unicorns and rainbows? No. More like a valley of duct tape crosses that rip excess lip hair when removed.
Don't get me wrong. Plenty of people have stepped into the arena. They've given me ample reason and opportunity to throw flaming darts (arrows?). In most cases, I would be humanly justified to jump them in a public forum such as facebook. Or Walmart. Yes, definitely Walmart. You notice, though, the key word is humanly.
I didn't say spiritually. Spiritually I would do well to just turn the other cheek (again) & hit my knees and pray for that person. And although I deleted the post eight minutes later, spiritually I failed.
For days, I have dreamed of going to Ireland. I have tossed ideas to and fro in my mind. How would we manage to backpack across the northern hills with a two year old in tow and still (quietly) see all that nature has to offer? I've gone over preparations and itinerary repeatedly. I calculated how many copies of my new book (it will be available about three weeks before Christmas) I would have to sell in order to afford a three week hiking getaway.
I've thought about how Christmas will be tough in a brand new tiny house. We could easily make plans to be somewhere different. Just hubby and me, our kids, and grands. I've planned the few meaningful items I long to purchase for them. I've even considered holiday meals and cookie baking.
And then my thoughts move on to the ones who always insist upon ruining every holiday celebration. Not anymore.
The Lord has afforded me a do-over on top of this glorious mountain. He has shown me new areas of ministry and avenues to start my own Indie publishing imprint. I am two semesters away from my degree. I have studied (researched, dug, invested) and proven myself worthy. Now that I am geographically less than three thousand feet away from what could possibly be my dream come true- am I going to do anything less than excellence? NO.
If you can't run with the footmen, soldier, what will you do when the horsemen come?
I will no longer chase empty battles to the fighting plains. They tire one out and leave them with little strength to fight for the things that really matter.We must go after our dreams/callings with our whole hearts and stop falling for the simpleminded tactics of the enemy, Satan. Draw our own lines in the sand. Place our weapons of warfare in the Father's lap.
In a nutshell, if I love then I must show that love. Sometimes showing that love means to close the door to old things and people. And to close that large opening in the front of my face. To openly react to the same old actions is not showing love (or excellence) at all. In order, sometimes, for our lives to change, our hearts must also change.
Sometimes the Lord has to bring us to a place of remembrance.
That place where you remember why you got up this morning.
The place where you remember you are called.
The place where you know you are also equipped,
because you are called.
He helps you to remember why you are doing this.
He reminds you of Whose you are.
He makes you to know your worth and value in the world.
He tells you that you are His.
He makes your heart warm again when it grows cold.
He knows you are hurting, child.
He tells you that you don't have to make anybody happy but you.
He then gently whispers in your ear that their opinions
never mattered in the first place.
Only be gentle, tender-hearted, and please
Him.
Forgive.
My darlings, stop trying to live for the world.
Stop trying to bring back yesterday.
It's dead and gone.
A beaten horse.
Stop trying to relive the good.
Stop trying to replay the bad.
Live in today my lovelies.
Because you don't know if you have a tomorrow.
Remember Who you belong to.
And if you don't belong to Him, you can.
All you have to do is ask.
Or rather, accept the invitation.
A feast, forever, party, eternal fellowship
with the most Gentlemanly Being
that ever lived.
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.
Revelation 3:20 (KJV Purple edition)
