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For the last couple of months, I’ve been posting about revision. You can find part one here, and part two here, moving from the macro to the micro.
So at this point, the biggest parts of the story should be in line. The plot, motivations, worldbuilding — it should all be in shape. You should know your characters pretty well, and the things they do should make sense. The structure of the story should be pretty sound, without too much action grouped together, or too many talky scenes grouped together . . . any of that. The story should move at a good pace that fits with the kind of story you’re telling.
But what else?
3. On to the micro.
This might seem like the tedious part, but it’s what’s going to separate the good and the great. Don’t stop just because the big stuff is in order. Dig in deeper and make that story shine. If you want to bring this back to our house analogy, imagine putting in the furniture, hanging the curtains, and picking the countertops.
a) Sentence structure.
If you notice that your sentences are all structured the same, it’s probably time to introduce some variety. Because reading the same type of sentence over and over gets boring. The reader starts to hear it in monotone. There’s no voice. It’s easy to skim.
So go ahead: make it interesting,
b) Word choice
If you’re writing a historical set in the 1500s, the characters probably won’t say “whatevs” and call one another “bro.” (And if they do, why? Make it believable.) Make sure the words your characters use are appropriate for the time period, the world, and their backgrounds.
Also, keep in mind that the words your characters use can do cool things like reflect mood, secret hopes, and whether they think the glass is half full or empty.
c) Cut the fluff.
You know those lines you thought would be important but ended up . . . not? But you still like them so you kept them? Yeah. Cut them. Sorry. This is another round of “if it doesn’t add to the story, chop it.”
So sometimes we’ll write things with a character picking up a glass in the middle of a conversation, just to give them some sort of action. But beware — sometimes those little throwaway lines can be more distracting than anything. When you’ve given yourself some space from the story, come back and chop out anything that makes you do a double take, or wonder if it’s going to be important.
If you have a block of description, figure out how to incorporate it into your characters action. Make it real. Make it tactile.
Also, cut out repeated information. Trust your reader to remember it. Unless you have a really good reason for keeping it in. There are always exceptions, of course. But a lot of times, writers will add the same information several times because they’re reminding themselves. All that is useful in first drafts, but not in the final.
d) Be consistent.
Watch out for places where your character is wearing a green dress at the start of the scene, and a blue dress by the end — without changing her clothes. Common places to look for continuity errors are distances, times, clothes, dates, character/place descriptions, and other smaller things. These can be hard to notice when you’re so close to a manuscript, so give yourself some time away. Eventually those things will pop out.
Also, try to be consistent in your words, too. Of course, spell your characters’ names the same way every time. If you call Sarah Sara a few times, the reader might wonder if they’re two different people. And, one that got me recently — I meant to capitalize House every time, but at some point thought I’d decided otherwise. As a result, I had a weird mix of both in my manuscript and had to make a lot of changes in copyedits to fix it!
So watch out for spellings, capitalizations, punctuation — other things like that. Your publisher will probably have a house style and the copyeditor will look for those things, too, but it’s a whole lot easier if you’re consistent about something. (It also makes you look more professional/careful.)
Well, I could keep going, but again this is getting pretty long. And I think I’ve covered most of what I meant to. Of course, general disclaimers apply. What works for me might not work for you, etc.
So was this helpful? Anything to add? Anything you’d like to take issue with?
This revision layer does not require you to cut all descriptions of clothes, hair, and accoutrements. Rather, it asks you to take a fresh look at your descriptions and decide if they are meaningful and powerful rather than bland and boring.
The best way to do that is to look at each character individually and each instance in which you have described them.
1. Save a copy of your draft as “Character Description (insert character Name)” and delete everything but the sections that deal with that character (keeping chapter references). It is critical that you revise at this level for your protagonist, antagonist, love interest. If you want to be thorough, do it for your secondary characters as well. Walk-ons deserve a brief look, but not necessarily a file.
If you prefer, you can peruse a printed version of your manuscript and highlight or circle the descriptions of each character separately. You could mark them with different colored ink or stick-on tabs.
The important part is that you start at the becinning of the story and read through that character looking for continuity mistakes, character definition, and consistency.
2. Have you described the character as he enters the story?
3. Have other characters described this character?
4. Are your descriptions meaningful and original or full of clichés and weak adjectives? Have you repeated the same descriptive information over and over?
5. Are there instances of dissonance or change?
6. Do words and actions illustrate the character? Do they play against type? Are you promoting stereotypes?
7. Is your point of view character’s description of someone accurate or inaccurate due to his personality, past history, or current situation? Does his opinion change?
8. Have you used clichés or purple prose?
9. Have you made changes in one area and forgotten to change them in the rest (hair and eye color, history, clothing choices).
10. Have you changed their name? Make certain it is changed everywhere! Make certain it is spelled the same everywhere.
11. Have you given them so many nicknames, terms of endearment, or shortened names that it becomes confusing?
It helps to have a character profile nearby when revising for each character listing their visual appearance, quirks, speech style, personal style etc.
You can create your own profiles or utilize the ones provided in Story Building Blocks: Build A Cast Workbook (which also include personality traits).
In addition to describing a character's phyical appearance, the words you use to describe the character reveal a lot about how he or she feels about herself and others.
1. A situation can cause Dick to view Sally in a different light. He might have a negative opinion of her at first and change his mind later. You can illustrate the shift in Dick’s opinion of Sally through description.
First impression:The chick stalked into the conference room, wearing a tight gray dress that crackled like stiff paper. Her pale hair was cinched in a tight bun that made her skin look too tight. She met his glance with cold, dark eyes and a clenched jaw. Dick straightened in his chair and ran a finger inside his collar. This witch would not be an easy sell.
Final impression: Sally slipped into the conference room. Her navy dress was wrinkled after having spent the night balled up on his bedroom floor. A few of her whiskey-colored curls escaped a hastily gathered knot. Her smile flickered then faded. Dick squirmed in his chair and ran a finger inside his collar. The memory of all that hair spread out across his body left him flushed and shaky. He shuffled the papers in front of him. Sally had yet to sign on the dotted line, the tantalizing witch.
2. Personality clashes may cause Dick to view Sally in a negative light, even if she is runway model gorgeous. If Dick and Sally have a turbulent history, Dick thinks Sally's designer dress and shoes are an affectation rather than a turn on. These moments create tension.
3. Looks and personality are not synonymous. A character may not have symmetrical features or a svelte waistline, but she is lovely to know and a joy to be around. Her good nature makes her attractive to the viewer. A well-manicured, stately matron may have gutter sensibilities and a lewd sense of humor. Stereotypes are boring. Shake it up. I, for one, am tired of the perfect hero with sculpted abs and the tall, stacked heroine in four-inch heels.
4. Characters project a false self to protect their inner child. An insecure person might make sure every hair is in place. A secure person might not care how she looks.
If Dick's socks don't match because he accidentally pulled a blue and a black sock out of the laundry basket, how secure he is determines whether he delivers a blistering counter-attack when Sally points it out or bursts into genuine laughter over the error. Make sure your characters are multi-dimensional.
5. Look for instances where your point of view character analyzes another character. How does he feel and react when that person is around? Is there a dichotomy between his reaction and how he should feel? Dissonance creates tension.
For more information on character building, check out: Story Building Blocks II: Crafting Believable Conflict in e-book and paperback.
Story Building Blocks: Build a Cast Workbook in e-book and paperback.
0 Comments on 5 Tips for Defining Characters as of 1/1/1900
I'm just ruminating over my last three poems, where I got going on a set of Spoon, Knife and Fork. Atypically for me, all three are rhymed, similarly metered, and all share a basic 4-line stanza. I could keep going like this for a while, I guess, picking kitchen items and writing each its little ditty (see all the "Deeper Wisdom" poems featured at Today's Little Ditty, of which "What Does the Knife Know?" is one).
But would that make a readable collection, a saleable collection? When I started typing this, I was planning for the answer to be "NO; that would be a little boring and samey and in a way unchallenging for both writer and reader," and then I was going to contrast that with any collection of "traditional" haiku, which would be therefore by its very nature boring and samey and unchallenging, and then I was going to wonder why haiku collections don't seem that way.
And then as I entered that second paragraph, I got walloped upside the head by Jack on one side and Shel on the other, and A.A. Milne appeared to wag his clever ghostly finger in my face, reminding me how many, many classic poems and entire volumes of poetry for children are rhymed and metered and kind of about the same things (although not usually kitchen items).
Now I'm wondering what it is that makes me want a new shape, a new rhythm, a new challenge each time I begin a poem. I never cook the same recipe or meal the same way twice, and at school I'm forever devising new greetings, new center activities, new routines (and creating a lot of work for myself). While I craved novelty as a kid, I understand that for many students, sticking with one thing for longer is what's needed for competent mastery, and that too much "new" can be stressful.
Well, it seems that in the spirit of my OLW for 2015, I'm revising my 2nd-paragraph thinking. I still think it's important for young writers to learn that poetry is not all rhythm and rhyme, and that for most beginning writers those things are hard to pull off and probably best avoided. But golly, when 2/3 of a class of kindergarteners need to be TAUGHT to hear rhyme instead of having grown it into their bodies, and in the knowledge that I am not a beginning writer myself and quite enjoy the challenge of hewing to a rhymed and metered form, perhaps Spoon, Knife and Fork are suggesting a less varied--but no less tasty--diet of poetry for now.
Revision (with apologies to A.A. Milne)
Heidi Heidi Mordhorst Mordhorst: As teacher and poet she Took great Care to seek freedom, Craving the novelty. Heidi Heidi Said to herself, "Self," she said, said she: "You must never get stuck at the end of the town called Free-Verse Poetry."
HM 2015 all rights reserved
Today's Little Roundup is with Paul at These 4 Corners. Hope to see you there!
You’ve seen the commercials. There’s a woman with limpity blahsville hair. Her shoulders, schlumpy. Her eyes, rolled. She blows a puff of air upward from her lower lip and ruffles her scruffy bangs–the universal breath of disgust. Then, some product whooshes onto the screen. It’s a bottle of glamorous, sexy-smelling hope for hair. Ms. Lackluster snatches the wunderproduct, suds it through her sorry locks and voila! Cue the fans to blow a mane so magnificent as to make Fabio throw in the towel.
What if there was a “product” that could do the same–give shine, volume and manageability–to your writing? Good news! There is. It’s called Critique Group.
Here’s how this amazing product works:
Shine. Nothing will give your writing that dazzling sheen you desire like a robust critique. Your group can help you snip those dry, split ends created by worn or useless verbiage, identify stronger verbs and methodically polish your work.
Volume. Receiving regular feedback on your work helps to fuel your momentum, which hopefully, results in higher word counts and more pages than you may have accumulated as a solo act. So luxurious!
Manageability. Critique groups, regardless of how you arrange them, typically come with a schedule for sharing your work. Knowing you have these deadlines can help you plan, set goals and make the whole writing process more aimful instead of aimless.
You say you don’t have a critique group of your very own? Instead of pulling out your hair, let’s find you a group ASAP.
Consider these ideas for either starting or connecting with an established group:
Use social media. Let Facebook friends or Twitter followers know you’d like to join or start a group.
Visit discussion boards and search “critique groups” to see who’s seeking. For example, you could start with the SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) and explore the Resources section.
Talk with your local children’s librarian or a writing instructor at your local community college about your desire to form a group. You may learn about others who have expressed the same. If there’s a public bulletin board at the library or community college, post a “Want Ad” there.
Go to writing conferences or take writing classes and do a little friendly snooping to find out about the groups of your fellow attendees. Who knows, they may be hoping to add a new member.
Ask other writing friends for ideas. Ask how they decided between joining a face-to-face or online group (and the advantages/disadvantages of each), how their group is structured and if they know of a group with an opening. If your friend is groupless, ask about starting a new group of your own.
If you’re already in a group and have more ideas, tips for how to structure or improve a critique group, please share.
Wishing you gorgeous “hair” days ahead!
You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children. ~ Madeleine L’Engle
A good general rule of thumb for novel word count should be:
middle grade= 30k to 69k, average word count 50k
(Examples of published books: Coraline is 30,640 and Gingerbread is 44,510 and Mockingbird is 36,466.)
young adult fiction = YA from about 55k to 85
(It seems that paranormal YA or YA fantasy can occasionally run as high as 90k because of the world-building needed. Of course there is always the exception on word counts in YA. Twilight is 118,975 and New Moon is 132,758. Beautiful Creatures is 147,695 andA Great and Terrible Beauty is 95,605.)
cozy mysteries = 75k to 90k
paranormal romance = 80k to 100k
contemporary romance = 90k to 95k
short story = 1,000 - 7,500 words (The ’regular’ short story, usually found in periodicals or anthology collections. Most ’genre’ zines will feature works at this length.) novella= 20,000 - 50,000 words
(Although most traditional publishers will balk at printing a novel this short, this is perfect for the eBook publishers. The online audience doesn’t always have the time or the patience to sit through a 100,000 word novel.)
mysteries, thrillers and crime fiction = from 75k to 90k. (Historical mysteries and noir can be around 90k to 100k. Most other mystery/thriller/crime novels should be around 90k to 110k.)
mainstream/commercial fiction= 85k to 100k
(Some chick lit can be around 90k and literary fiction can run as high as 110k.)
science fiction or fantasy = 100k
(Most editors want these types of manuscripts at 100k, which is the ideal manuscript size for a good space opera or fantasy. For a truly spectacular epic fantasy, some editors will consider manuscripts at 120k, but rarely.)
You'll find most agents and editors prefer unpublished manuscripts at 100,000. No more--no less. However, ALWAYS check an agent or publishers word count guidelines before submitting.
I thought I had picked out One Word for the year. Standing around the flickering candles of the Yule tree last evening (secretly beaming because the children have memorized all the words of our 12-day Yuletide ritual), my One Word seemed obvious: LIGHT. There was my trademark quick decision, done and dusted. (This is how I found myself married the first time.)
LIGHT is a lovely word, especially powerful at this dark time of year, with many meanings in several parts of speech, and it seemed to capture the direction I need to keep going in: a lighter grip, a lighter touch, a light heart and as much light as possible shining into my pupils (puntended).
By bedtime, though, I'd stepped back into a more practical place and realized that LIGHT was perhaps not as active a word as I need--and it certainly wasn't so pertinent to my writing life, which is where I need to put particular attention. And I thought about how a lighter grip, how an infusion of light into the work, are what's required for good revision, whether of writing or of hasty decisions. Other requirements for revision include patience, resting and flexibility--all areas where I could grow generally, and where my writing could benefit from less product and more persistence. And so--in the very spirit of revision--I changed my One Word to REVISE.
Just to make sure I was on the right track, I Googled the word and found a definition which includes LIGHT--two for the price of one! re·vise rəˈvīz/ verb
1.
reconsider and alter (something) in the light of further evidence.
I shared this decision with my spouse, who noodled alongside me, wondering about revision, envision and several other word choices, while I listened to myself do what I always do: "Just stop with the possibilities-- I've made my choice and I'm sticking with it! No time to consider anything else! Got to get on with it!" The irony is exquisite... and I reserve the right to change my mind about my One Word should the light of further evidence require it.
******************* One Word 2015
held and holding tight: getting a grip becomes a vice
time and again re-vise: letting the light in more than twice
HM 2015 all rights reserved
******************* The Poetry Friday Round-up is with Tricia at The Miss Rumphius Effect. Happy New Year--and New Words--to all!
One of the most useful tools to utilize during the revision phase of your first draft is the Find and Replace tool. The instructions here are for Word for Windows, but a similar function should be available for other word processing programs.
Within Word, you turn it on by simply clicking on [Control] and [F] at the same time (the letter F not the function key).
When revising, it is a good idea to save the draft as a new version each time in case you make a major mistake and need to go back to the previous version. You do this by selecting [Save As] and entering the Your Title Rev 1 (2,3,4,5,6,7, etc). When you have completely finished all editing and revising, save it as Your Title Final File.
1. If you do a quick rough draft you may have lots of blanks with placeholders **fill in here** or other placeholders (XXX) (#) for names, places, dates, locations, etc. Searching for ** or your placeholder cues will quickly take you from one placeholder to the next.
2. Develop a list of repetitive words. It may change and/or grow with every book you write.
3. Develop a list of adjectives. We all have personal favorites. You can use the starter list in Story Building Blocks III and add to it as you go.
4. Develop a list of adverbs or search for *.ly. This might take a while.
5. Develop a list of body language words and emotion words. Fill in your placeholders or make certain that your characters aren't yawning, grimacing, frowning, or sighing on every other page.
6. Search for passive language by looking for the word was. I guarantee this will take a long time. Make certain to enter a space before the word was followed by another space: [ was ], otherwise every word containing the letters was together (wash, swash, twas) will be highlighted.
7. Use [Find] and [Replace] to change the name of a place or character. Use [Find Next] rather than [Replace All]. Why? Here's an example.
Let's say you want to replace the word format with method. The program searches for all the places the combination of letters appears. It may change words you never intended: information becomes inmethodion.
If your character's name is May and you decide to change her name to Sally, you end up with, “I sally not want to,” instead of “I may not want to.” The word maybe becomes sallybe. You see the problem.
8. Don't mass delete.
A quick way of deleting a word is to use [Find], but never [Delete All] or you could end up with gibberish.Let's say you want to remove all the "could have"s. Go to each one individually. You may have to reword the sentence so it still makes sense.
9. If you make a mistake, [Control] [Z] or [Undo] is your best friend. It can, however, take you back further than intended. Which leads us to ...
10. Save frequently with [Control] [S].
Saving after every change slows you down too much, so I don't advise it. You should save the file frequently enough, perhaps at the end of each page, to mitigate heartache if your computer goes haywire, turns off in the middle, or you unintentionally select [Undo] and an entire paragraph disappears. Weird things happen.
Last week we talked about what tone is, and isn't. This week we'll try to define it with examples.
You are writing a Romance.
Let's say Dick, your narrator, is at a company picnic in a park. The sky is clear. The grill is smoking. His coworkers are drinking beer and it is mid afternoon. How does Dick feel about being there? If he is an extrovert and happy with his job, he is lightheartedly milling around, joking, laughing, and downing brews with the best of them. He has a great time, until he learns something that turns his happy place into a not so happy place. Like the fact that his rival, Ted, got the promotion instead of him. Dick worries that Ted’s promotion gives him a leg up with the girl of both men’s dreams. Dick leaves feeling determined. He rushes to call Sally before Ted can. The tone in this story should reflect Dick's upbeat point of view and competitive attitude toward the situation. If your romance is light and breezy, Dick views this obstacle as a fun challenge. He finds a way to woo Sally, no matter what comical lengths he must go to. There is tension, but it is a funny situation. If your romance is a tragedy, Dick views this scene as one more nail in his coffin. There is tension, but it is bleak, foreshadowing inevitable demise, and somber.
You are writing a Thriller.
Dick is at the company picnic in the park. The sky is overcast and threatening rain. The barbecue smoke makes his eyes water and nose run. He hates hotdogs. He hates his co-workers. He wishes he never had to see those drunken slobs ever again; but he grins and bears it until he can steal the research documents. So, he sips water. He smiles, nods, and bides his time. When he feels everyone is drunk enough, he goes back to the office and begins the search. In this example, Dick views the situation as dark and bleak. He focuses on the negative. The picnic is something to be endured to meet his goal. The overall tone of the story focuses on the tension, the hurry, the risk. There may be light moments, but there is no doubt that the situation is serious and the consequences are high.
You are writing a Literary novel.
Dick is at the company picnic in the park. He desperately needs the promotion. He has child support and outrageous alimony to pay. He can't afford to be unemployed. The sun burns. He sweats profusely. The smoke is suffocating and the stench of roasting steak makes his stomach churn. Dick circulates. He shakes hands and fake smiles at his coworkers until his jaws hurt. He finds out Ted got the promotion. In fact, Dick’s department is being cut. Dick is grateful when it starts raining so he can leave and drown his sorrows in a bottle of Scotch. In this example, the tone could be comic or tragic. The reader walks away, wryly acknowledging that bad things happen to good people, or walks away ruminating on the evils of cruel corporations. There is tension. It is either released by continual humor, or you emphasize the pathos of modern living along the way.
Revision Tips
As you read through your manuscript, consider the narrator's tone. Can you identify it? Do you want the story to be breezy, syrupy, gripping, horrifying, or funny?
What is your genre? Does the tone correlate?
Look at your descriptions and setting. How does the point of view character view the situation? Is it consistent with the tone you have adopted?
Do the details that your character focuses on and the words he uses to relate them support the tone?
Is your tone consistent? Do you find yourself handling the material as dramatic in one scene and slapstick in another?
For these and other tips on revision, pick up a copy of:
Seven years ago, I began offering the beta version of PlotWriMo for novelists who were word drunk from NaNoWriMo. Over the years I continued refining and perfecting the steps to help writers revise all those words generated in November into a compelling story with a plot (and all other novelists and memoirists and screenwriters alike struggling to create a pleasing stories for readers).
Earlier this year, I partnered with Jill Corcoranand incorporated her insight and love of concept and knowledge about the inside of publishing into entire video series of the program. The feedback and "ah ha" moments we have received have been enormously rewarding and makes all the time and hard work worthwhile.
Sample of incredibly gratifying "ah ha" Moments from Writers Using PlotWriMo to Revise their Stories "Now, what did I learn from the videos? Goodness, what did I not? It's all about the structure. Being a pantser doesn't work when you are revising (Not sure it would work for me - ever), but you have to be clear in your journey. I also learned to forgive myself. To keep writing. And that we can learn from our mistakes and become better writers."
"Jill (video 4, I think) explained what agents meant when they say "They didn't connect" and it was like a lightbulb had been screwed in my head-- I failed to meet all of the essential elements of a scene. There was always something about my former MS that I could never pinpoint that felt off, and that was just it! I needed more emotional development, conflict/ tension, dramatic action and clear goals PER scene."
"I watched the Revise Your Novel in a Month videos and really began to understand the difference between crisis and climax and the key ways to develop each part of the plot."
"PlotWriMo is the closest “formula” for structuring a book I’ve ever discovered. It’s like an algebra equation for writing – if you’re missing any of the energetic markers you can’s solve for X."
"It’s helped me re-envision my own work and I can’t stop myself from dissecting every movie and book I’ve read since."
"I've learned a lot through the PlotWriMo series. I've always struggled with revision, but the PlotWriMo series has helped me organize my revision so that I am going deeper than I ever have before at making my story shine."
"I watched PlotWriMo and learned about EMs, concept and that the antagonist OWNS the middle."
“Ah, ha” Moment: The exercise of writing down all of the themes, and getting down to the grittier ones. And when I found my darker theme was about loss, and the threat of losing someone you love. I couldn’t believe when I went back and looked at the Energy Markers and found that common theme. I’m working on deepening the scenes with metaphors and thematic significance."
"Don't start drafting until you're happy with the concept and markers."
"As for what I learned, viewing both the crisis and the climax from my antagonist’s point of view gave my story dramatic action and the depth it needed to bind the story and pull in the reader."
"Yet my greatest aha moment came with the challenge of writing the concept, giving my story definition. As a young woman I took my family on some exciting adventures, wounds and all, and the only dream still intact in the end was my passion and desire to be a writer. I couldn’t just throw out my concept because it wasn’t good enough, or my life wouldn’t be either. Crafting my concept, meant validating what I had done and why, all the parts and pieces."
"I really had an "aha moment" when Martha Alderson talked about the end mirroring the beginning."
The icing on the proverbial cake is all the great success we hear from writers like the one writer who secured an agent (having the amazing opportunity to chose from 3 offering her contracts). As she writes: "No word of lie - it is absolutely thanks to Jill Corcoran and Martha Alderson! The last round of revisions changed everything! I just thank god I have the videos and future classes for other books! I have worked like a dog on this book, but the videos and Martha's book really changes everything. The advanced workshop kicked my butt in the best way possible and made me really rethink some things and made the work so much better!"
0 Comments on Plot Whisperer Martha Alderson's PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month with Literary Agent Jill Corcoran as of 12/14/2014 5:04:00 AM
Having such fun on the blog tour! Love reading everyone's comments and feel incredibly gratified to know how much PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Monthhas supported and changed writers lives. I feel like I'm glowing from the testimonials… Join us for revision tips, meet new writers and perhaps win a prize.
(To learn more about PlotWriMo and for some "ah ha" moments from writers using the video series to revise their novels, click here.) (To visit the other participating blogs scroll down to Day #2 and #1 blog posts)
We have 4 new blogs for you to visit today on our PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Monthblog tour. Comment to enter and win an observation spot in an upcoming Office Hours. We'd love you to tweet about your participation and use the hashtag #PlotWriMo.
When: Starting today and running daily through Friday, Dec. 5th
What: Blog Tour for PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month offers tips and ideas for revising your story. Visit new blogs and meet new writers (we'd love you to tweet about your experience on the tour and use the hashtag #PlotWriMo).
Who: All writers interested in or needing help revising your stories, including writers word-drunk from NaNoWriMo.
Where: Today's 2 participating blogs, please visit and comment to enter to win an observation spot in an upcoming Office Hours.
Why: Revising a novel, memoir, screenplay can be a daunting prospect. PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month offers tried and true methods that have worked for hundreds of writers (for more about PlotWriMo AND "ah ha" moments from writers who have or are currently viewing the video series, clickHERE).
I've written before about stop words, those words which are so common we don't notice them. These words can clog up your story and they're insidious because you don't realize they're there. There's a bunch of them, including "really," "very," and "even."
But the worst is "just."
I was reading an ARC recently and there was a "just" on almost every page. One page had six ... Six!
Since it was
0 Comments on Just Don't as of 11/30/2014 3:12:00 PM
Resist the temptation to rush through writing the end just to finish your story. Use wisely the few days that are left to you this month (keep in mind you can continue writing in December to finish your fast draft all the way to the end while at the same time taking part in PlotWriMo). The beginning quarter of your story informs the end and the end informs the beginning. Forget all you've written of the middle for now. Focus on the how the beginning and the end thematically support each other, how the beginning foreshadows the end and how the end satisfy the intent you established when writing the beginning of your story.
Examine who the character is portrayed to be in the beginning. What could she not do then and what she must do now at the end? How has who she presented herself to be in the beginning changed or transformed and into what?
See you December 1st and the beginning of PlotWriMo blog tour to re-vision your story.
There is an art to narrative summary. Ideally the information should be related through the point of view character's lens, not an info dump, like this:
The city was founded in 1779 by tea and sugar plantation owners who commissioned elaborate mansions on top of the hill with a view of the inlet that was large enough to dock their ships. Small villages soon cropped up along the periphery to house the tradesmen needed to service their needs. Over the centuries, the spaces between were filled until it became a crowded, mish-mash of squalor and grandeur.
This passage provides the information, but dully and through the prism of the writer, not the character.
Info dumps are often found in prologues, epilogues, summaries of what happened in previous books, long dialogue passages,as you knowdialogue, long explanations of how things work, and extensive backstory.
Here are a few examples of how to use narrative summary effectively.
1. Narrative summary helps you skip ahead.
Sometimes you have to provide important background, condense time, and relate events that don't deserve a lot of page time through narrative summary.
The call came at five o'clock on a Saturday. Dick never forgot the pitch of the sun through the pines or the way his boots sank in the mud as he arrived at a scene to view his first corpse. After fifteen years, he'd seen so many bodies, in myriad locations,and every season.He no longer got the shakes, or the sicks, or the rapid pulse, but the scent of pine, dirt, and dying heat still filled his nostrils when he received a summons. Funny how some things stuck. He snapped on gloves and booties before ducking under the yellow tape blocking a snow-drenched alleyway in the heart of downtown Chicago. "What've we got?"
Narrative skips over the boring bits. Shift it into real-time when possible, particularly if you find paragraphs of it. Use specific details and strong word choices.
1) Narrative summary can offer new information or recap necessary information.
It should support, extend, or refute the information given through dialogue and action. It can add context in a timely fashion and set up expectation. It uses a few words that work hard and lead into or trail action and dialogue. If narrative runs on for paragraphs or pages, you have some editing to do.
The carpet fibers were a dead end: could have come from any low-rent apartment anywhere in town. The call-ins were a bunch of attention-seeking loonies. No legitimate suspects. No obvious motive. No one seemed to know anything about Jane. That was the problem these days: everyone had bloody telephones and computers and social media but never talked to their neighbors. Jane worked from home and played games with virtual friends. She ordered everything online or shopped at big box stores where everyone was strange and a stranger. There were no angles to grab hold of. Who would kill a girl who never seemed to leave her flat? But girls didn't just drag themselves into the woods, cover themselves with debris, and choke themselves with their own pantyhose. 2. Narrative transitions between scenes. Dick skipped the shower and shave and was at the crime scene by nine thirty. He stood next to the corpse lying on the ground who obviously hadn’t shaved in days either and the bath in the river hadn’t done him any favors.
3. Narrative wrinkles time.
Four days sped by in a series of dead leads and dull conversations. Dick tackled the stacks of paperwork he had successfully ignored for a month, drank gallons of coffee, and smoked endless packs of cigarettes. His anxiety grew like a bonfire as he waited for the DNA results.
Revision Tips
?Read through your manuscript. Highlight areas that contain narrative. Decide whether you should turn narrative into action and dialogue. If not, is it serving a distinct purpose? Does it support, extend, add to, or refute a proposition? Does it condense time or provide important background?
?Does it involve tertiary characters or actions that are of lesser importance?
?Does it involve clichés?
?Have you told the reader what someone thinks or feels instead of showing it?
For more revision tips on revision and narrative summary check out.
Revision needs to have a sense that a window of possibility is still open to allow another draft in (17). –Jeff Anderson and Deborah Dean Last month, I conferred with a fifth grade… Continue reading →
So, I’d like to take a side road of sorts in continuing our TeachingAuthors discussion on writers’ reader considerations.
Yes, indeedy, I agree with my fellow bloggers: writing with passion trumps every consideration when we are writing to tell ourselves the story.
That kind of telling is the stuff of our firstdraft, our first pass, at who and what grabbed our hearts.
Our second draft, though?
That’s the draft in which we make choices to grow a story and tell that story the best way possible to our intended reader. IMHO, the “best way possible” considers where that reader is chronologically, emotionally and cognitively so he or she can easily travel the story, can emotionally connect with the characters, can live inside the story and take its truths into his or her heart.
When I read a student’s or writer’s manuscript for the very first time, when I read my own first drafts readying to finally revise, I read on behalf of the intended young reader.
Both the story and the format must be age-appropriate, of course. But do I know who claims the story and what it’s about? Am I grounded in the story’s time and place? What kind of story am I expecting? Left unanswered, those questions will likely force the intended reader to leave the story. Language must also be considered – word choice, sentence structure, metaphorical language, as JoAnn noted when she wrote about assessing reading levels in her Friday post. And richness of language need not be sacrificed – ever (!) - for clarity.
JoAnn’s post brought a smile as I remembered my experience this past September attempting to write original poems for the newest addition to THE POETRY FRIDAY ANTHOLOGYseries (Pomelo Books), THE POETRY FRIDAY ANTHOLOGY FOR CELEBRATIONS, scheduled for an official April 1, 2015 pub date.The book features 150 poems in Spanish and English versions for preK and up, covering a wide variety of celebrations: Poem in Your Pocket Day to National Pet Week to Juneteenth to International Talk-Like-a-Pirate Day to World Bread Day to Winter Solstice.
Invited writers could choose a day that spoke to them and try their hand at creating a poem. Hmmm…National Hat Month? I loved that idea and began fingering my way through my Roget’s Thesaurus, having a high ol’ time. Here’s the poem I first submitted, in celebration of National Hat Month:
Mixed-up Mad Hatterisms to Celebrate Hat Month
Bees in your beanie.
A feather in your fez.
Pass the fedora.
Bearskin in hand.
Tom scored a tam trick!
Talking through your cap.
Tip o’ my turban.
Pass the sombrero.
Helmets off!
At the drop of a wimple.
Home is where you hang your beret.
(Copyright 2014 Esther Hershenhorn)
The anthology editor Janet Wong returned the poem, kindly reminding me of the designated preK-and-older audience.
Hmmm…National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week? That’s the ticket! I thought. I brainstormed all sorts of letter-writing possibilities and settled on our TeachingAuthors Thank-u’s.
Here’s the second poem I sent off to Janet:
A Haiku Thank You
Dear (fill-in-the-blank),
You knew how to make me smile.
Thank-u very much.
(Copyright 2014 Esther Hershenhorn)
Janet remained kind while again reminding me of the designated preK-and-older audience.
“How about St. Patrick’s Day?” Janet wrote me.“There’s St. Patrick and everyone dressed in green and folks even dye their rivers green!”
I think I got this now! I thought.And I was off and running. This time, though, after brainstorming All Things St. Patrick’s Day, I thought about my pre-K and K readers.I even Googled “St. Patrick’s Day curriculum for preschoolers” to learn the top 3 take-aways for little ones about this day.
I’m currently unable to share my finally-accepted poem, “St. Patrick’s Day.”
Suffice it to say, I again had fun writing about my suggested green March 17 celebration, but… I was extremely aware of my audience’s needs.
Happy Writing!
Our young readers deserve our passion, our best writing – and – IMHO, our consideration of their chronological, emotional and cognitive needs.
Esther Hershenhorn
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Every writer I know, it seems, is either preparing now to write a fast draft during NaNoWriMo, has a jump-start on November by speed-writing now to finish by the end of the year or has given up.
With novels anywhere from 50,000 (slight) to over 100,000 words, writing a fast draft gets you to the end faster. Problem at that point is knowing you're not finished -- not by a long-shot.
One of the biggest shocks for novelists just starting out is the realization they may have to write more than one draft -- several even. You get the end of draft 1 euphoric, only to understand how much work is still left to be done. You want it to be over. You want your story perfect in the next rewrite. You even work through all 30 exercises and 5.5 hours of video instruction during PlotWriMo, revision your entire story, only to rewrite again. And perhaps again and again.
Begin now by accepting that the fast draft you write now, you may have to rewrite all those thousands of words again later. Then put your head down and get to writing. Finish by the end of the year.
Writing a fast draft demands consistent and powerful writing.
Consistent writing is a tough one to achieve for writers who insist they can only write when they’re inspired to write. Consistent writing means showing up to write whether you're inspired or dull, frightened or brave, energetic or lazy. You show up and write anyway.
A consistent writing regime is helpful, especially so writing a fast draft. A tight deadline of a month facilitates fast writing -- no time for procrastination, no time to wait for inspiration. Every spare moment must be devoted to writing or pre-plotting to succeed at completing a fast draft in a month.
PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month ~~ View your story in an entirely new light. Recharge your energy and enthusiasm for your writing. 8 videos (5.5 hours)+ 30 exercises
Interjections are exclamations or parenthetical words that add color to your dialogue or internal dialogue. They are set off from the rest of the sentence with a comma or set of commas. They can be followed by an exclamation point. However, if the sentence is doing its job, you shouldn't need it.
Interjections express a gamut of emotions: surprise, doubt, fear, anger, hate, happiness, joy, glee, disgust, or sarcasm. They insult, incite, and ignite.
Here are a few examples (minus profanity, which is another topic).
All right
Cool
Far out
As if
Yeh, right
Dig it
Yo
Fair enough
Ouch
Dang it
For real?
Duh
No way
Sure
Yay
Whoot
Hilarious
Screw it
Drat
Yes
Lord have mercy
Meh
Cheers
Ciao
Oops
Oy
Touche
Big whoop
Nope
Nada
My YA series Mythikas Island was set in pre-written-history Greece. Not being able to reach for any of the usual curse words, insults, etc. felt like wearing a straight jacket. I ended up typing *insert insult/curse here* and developing a list of options later. Here are a few tips when revising:
1. As you go through your rough draft, it is okay to insert placeholders and fill them in later. You may want to put some thought into the types of insults and interjections you characters will use.
2. It is important that the interjections fit the time and place in a historical novel. Look up the first time your word or phrase was used. Nitpickers love to point out errors.
3. When you write fantasy or science fiction, developing unique interjections helps your story world come alive.
4. Avoid overuse. Strings of expletives or exclamation points are annoying. As you read through your rough draft, highlight the interjections. If you have too many packed together, space them out.
5. You can make them character specific. People living in the same place and time with little exposure to the outside world tend to use the same vocabulary. However, each character can have their favorites or quirks.
6. If you have a diverse cast, each can have their own set of interjections, perhaps in different langauges. Avoid stereotypes.
7. Avoid clichés. You can twist existing interjections in new ways. 8. Interjections change as time passes. There is no way to avoid dating your book with them. 9. You can't cut them all. Your story would be lackluster without a few strategically placed verbal punches. 10. They can be used for comic relief. Sometimes after a tense moment, you need a little levity.
If you invent unique injterjections, they may become part of our language or at least the language of your fans. They may even be added to the dictionary. You could be the author of a new catchphrase.
For more information on revision, pick up a copy of:
The first revision is probably the most important factor in sculpting your novel. One of my favorite quotes to express this idea is by Shannon Hale who wrote: “I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.” The first revision is the building of those sand castles. There are numerous tips to a successful rewrite, but I’ve found three that I’ve put at the top of my list to make my novel better.
Conflict check.
On my rewrite, I first do a conflict check. Kurt Vonnegut once wrote that every character in a scene should want something, even if it’s only a drink of water. On my first draft, I will usually focus on the main plot point of the scene. In doing so, I miss opportunities to add tension, great and small, to a chapter. On the rewrite, I ask myself: what does every character in that scene want, and what obstacles are standing in his or her way.
Column by Allen Eskens, author of THE LIFE WE BURY (Seventh Street Books Oct.
2014), a debut thriller that Publishers Weekly called a “masterful debut” in a starred
review. Allen has been a criminal defense attorney for twenty years. He honed his
creative writing skills through the MFA program at Minnesota State University as well
as classes at the Iowa Summer Writing Festival and the Loft Literary Center in
Minneapolis. He is a member of the Twin Cities Sisters in Crime. Find him on Twitter.
I have an equation taped to my computer; it reads: “The greater the want + the greater the obstacle = greater conflict. Conflict = suspense.”
Suspense is a state of mental uncertainty. Readers have a need to resolve that uncertainty and will forge ahead to find resolution. Adding more tension and conflict creates page-turning prose. Rarely does my first draft take advantage of all of the opportunities for tension and conflict.
Transitions.
Another aspect of a first draft that I skimp on is my transition from one scene to another. In the haste to get the first draft on paper, I tend to jump abruptly from one plot point to the next. During the rewrite, I remind myself that transition paragraphs need to do more than move the reader from plot point to plot point. They should be eloquent and have a weight of their own.
Reading a novel is like kayaking down a river. Sometimes you shoot through rapids, bound up in the excitement of the action. Other times you float along admiring the beauty of the hills and wildlife. The pace of a novel is the balance between those two competing forces (between plot and scene). As I revise, I ask myself, do I want this paragraph to float through the valley or dive over rapids? If I am floating, I spend time on it, maybe go off on a tangent that deepens the character or enriches the scene. If I am heading for rapids, my focus should be on a shorter transition.
This is an opportunity to show your writing skill. The transition doesn’t have to be long, but it should be fresh. Take for example, the opening line from chapter four of The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She writes, “At seven the next morning the telephone rang. Slowly I swam up from the bottom of a black sleep.” A simple transition, beautifully written. In a first draft she might have written: “the phone woke me up at seven the next morning.” The small addition of “I swam up from the bottom of a black sleep” turns it from a standard transition to something enjoyable to read.
The third thing I include in my first revision is what I call my “was” edit. I use my word-find function to locate every time I used the word “was.” On my first draft, I tend to be lazy and describe things using “was.” “He was taller than me.” “She was standing on the porch, waiting for him.” These are passive voice, and they violate the “show, don’t tell” rule. But in the haste of the first draft, I will type “was” and move on.
In the rewrite, I revisit each time I use the word “was” and ask myself if there’s a better way to write the sentence. It could be as simple as changing “he was taller than me” to “he stood three inches taller than me.” Or it could be more elaborate, like changing “She was standing on the porch, waiting for him” to “She found herself pacing back and forth across the same porch planks that her mother walked thirty years earlier, waiting for a man to return from the war.” I could go even further and write a tangent about the mother that gives the reader insight into the daughter’s character. But, then again, sometimes “was” fits just right and no change is needed. At least by doing a “was” edit, I’ve forced myself to examine my choice.
There are so many other considerations to a first revision, and every writer should have their own method, but these three tips have helped me in my writing.
This guest column is a supplement to the “Breaking In” (debut authors) feature of this author in Writer’s Digest magazine. Are you a subscriber yet? If not, get a discounted one-year sub here.
Other writing/publishing articles & links for you:
Life spins a bit faster in anticipation of year's end. You intend to finish your novel, memoir, screenplay this year - simply finish. Fall is the time to write fast.
Take October to pre-plot or re-plot your novel, November to finish and December to revise. Sounds simple enough.
Forget the outcome for now. What you write doesn't have to be perfect or brilliant or even very good. In fact, the sloppier the better. For the next month and a half, simply focus on writing fast everyday and moving between writing and standing back to consider your story as a whole all the way to the end.
The more enjoyable the process of writing for you, the more likely you are to write. See a path to writing everyday you can. Write fast.
You have 1 Month and 2 weeks to get a draft written in time for PlotWriMo. Beginning December 1st, follow the exercises in the PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month video series and re"vision" and redefine the plot arc of your story.
is custom designed to ensure your success even during the busiest time of the year. (**NOTE: this is the final weekend to buy PlotWriMo: Revise Your Novel in a Month video series for $75. Price goes up on Monday!)
Begin 2015 ready for a powerful rewrite, to submit your work to contests and agents and/or to self-publish your novel.
~~~~~ More resources to support you in your pre-challenge: 1) Plot your story step-by-step with the help of
2) Read The Plot Whisperer: Secrets of Story Structure Any Writer Can Master named BEST BOOKS FOR WRITERS by Poets&Writers. The author provides insight on how to create works of fiction with powerful stories and focuses on how to devise a Universal Plot, plot lines and subplots, compelling scenes, and character transformation.
*****Knowing what to write where in a story with a plot reinforces daily writing practice and allows for more productivity in your writing. Whether writing a first draft or revising, if you falter wondering what comes next in a story with a plot, follow the prompts in The Plot Whisperer Book of Writing Prompts: Easy Exercises to Get You Writing.
Today, I write.
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Over the past few weeks, we have explored an exotic array of language spices starting with A. This week, we complete the collection with Z.
Simile compares two different things that are similar to each other using like and as. They often border on cliché. A hidden simile does not use like or as.
Jane curled up on the couch like a satisfied cat licking her lips.
Jane curled up on the couch, a satisfied cat licking her lips. (hidden)
Symploce uses anaphora and epistrophe in the same sentence or paragraph. It should appear once or twice in a manuscript for maximum impact and emotion.
Dick should have walked away. He should have put the diary down. He should never have read the shocking words. Jane had charmed him, confused him, and consumed him.
Synecdoche uses part of something to refer to the whole, a whole thing to refer to a part, a specific thing to refer to a generality, or a generality to refer to a specific thing. It is referring to a car as wheels, workers as hands, eyewear as glasses, and bandages as Band-Aids.
When it came to books, Jane preferred paper over plastic.
Tricolon repeats phrases, clauses, or sentences three times. If the phrases, clauses, or sentences increase in length with each repetition, it is called a tricolon crescendo.
It was a dark, dark, darkmoment for them both.
The book was old, oldand faded, old enough to be dangerous.
Zeugma ends a sentence with a last word or clause that doesn't fit in with the proposition. It offers a twist. It should end a paragraph for maximum effect.
Jane left with her book, her suitcase, and her pride.
Jane needed him and wantedhim and wished him dead.
Next week, we will talk about how to use them and revise for them.
For the complete list of spices and other revision layers, pick up a copy of:
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