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...Petals from A Born Dreamer's Heart This blog is my author blog, where you can join me in my journey as a poet, as an author, as a young woman... Anything about life, love, dreams, poetry and writing maybe discussed here. So pick the petals as you walk... :)
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1. Giveaway…! June 7th – 18th!

So there, here’s letting me know you, shortly, in the midst of a busy life, that ‘The Torrent from My Soul’ ebook is available for FREE on the Smashwords site. That’s for 9 more days though!

So here’s where you go to get your copy…. (Click on the cover image below). The free copy there includes digital formats EPUB, MOBI/KINDLE, LRF, PDB, etc. But for PDF ebooks with my own perfect formatting, please contact me. :)

You can leave a message in any of the contact forms available to message me – in this blog, in the website or in my FB page.

TFMS cover 1+2

 

 

Hope you enjoy the book and share the news that it’s FREE till JUNE 18th morning! :)

Have a great day!

Love, Sana


2 Comments on Giveaway…! June 7th – 18th!, last added: 6/10/2014
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2. As Promised…

The Torrent from My Soul: Poems of A Born Dreamer, my first collection of poetry is once again out there for you. And that too with a fresh look and a better soul. For now, it is available on Smashwords, where I created the ebook in various formats. It is not an unknown platform and yeah, they will soon distribute it to other retailers like the Amazon and even Flipkart in India. TFMS cover 1+2 The ebook formats available are EPUB, MOBI (KINDLE), PDB, LRF and PDF. But for PDF ebooks, I would rather that you own a copy that I specially formatted to make it comfortable to read as well as have a decent appearance, instead of the one available on Smashwords. However, if you are using reflow option, it wouldn’t matter much.

The PDF from Smashwords is not so great as the font size is pretty small for the page size and they have done nothing more than save it as PDF like anyone can do on MS Word. So, I have made a better format with front page cover included in the PDF file. And if that’s the copy you want, drop me a message on my website. Or here through the contact form.

So there, let me know. :) Those who find any difficulty in getting the ebook, contact me. I will make sure you get a copy.

This post was written yesterday but it’s been raining cats and dogs here since 2 days and electricity gave up on us often. And my internet went berserk last night but I couldn’t post it. The rains have stopped for now but thank God for the chill. It’s a much-awaited relief from this year’s cruel heat. So there, I will give myself some rest now.

Goodnight…

Love, Sana


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3. Another Monthly Peek!

Well, here I am with another peek after a week less than a month later. :)

While editing my novel, I always had this thought of my first book ever. As I had already mentioned in previous post, the book is no more in print. But since it’s more important to have the book out there and available to read, I have decided to publish an ebook of “The Torrent from My Soul: Poems of A Born Dreamer” through Smashwords. So I have been busy formatting the manuscript accordingly, and of course, designing a cover image.

The cover of the previous print version was a tad bit academic in appearance. Perhaps drab even. So, I decided to try something on my own since I am someone who knows the book and the poetry within throughout. I can’t expect designers to do cover designs after reading the book. None of us can. But this time, everything is at my own disposal. I want my earliest poetry out there to those who would love to read it. Once more. So here’s the cover image that came from my laptop and a day’s work. Yeah, it’s just a day’s work. :) As the poet I can connect the cover to my personal poems. And some of my closest friends who have read the whole book have voted for this cover design.

So… Here’s it!

TFMS cover 1+2So let me know how this looks as any random book. If it looks good enough to pick. ;) I am off again, till I hear from you guys. Ciao!

Love, Sana


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4. A Writer Can…

Well… take a break to really do something with her writing.

Albeit that wasn’t exactly why I was away. But I am humbled to see a few comments that sound so wonderful and really encouraging here on some posts and from people I haven’t come across yet. :) Thanks for dropping by though the blog has been literally dead for months.

What has been happening with my life may not be particularly interesting to the bunch of you but it’s not that boring. I will give the headlines, just to justify my not-so-noted absence.

  • I passed out college and is an intern doctor now, happy to have actually begun collecting failures and experiences (Both are inevitable and important in the development of a Homeopathic Phyician, the former more than the latter.)
  • I got married. And yeah, that’s a huge change.
  • Poetry has got blocked somewhere inside me and has been lost for months now.
  • I terminated the book contract of my first book “The Torrent from My Soul”. The book is not in print anymore. It does sound like a bad writer but it’s a brilliant decision I made in my entire life. Because my poetry and I deserve better than that publisher’s money making agendas. Sorry, but carnivores do exist in all fields. That’s one of the things I did for the first time and the last – falling prey to anyone. (If anyone is interested in reading that first collection of mine, please let me know in comments or as a message, I would be happy to get you a digital copy of its revised edition as soon as possible.) :)
  • After long, I have been reading – and yes, with better sense of what’s good and what’s not good enough (nothing is too bad, but we have to classify just to make sure we know the difference and utilize time instead of wasting it).
  • And there – the last but not the worst or least important – I began the journey of truly editing Amidst Sandcastles – my novel. Which was finished many times. Edited many times and yet got rejected because of one single reason. Probably the most amateurish reason, because, mistakes could be corrected, style could be polished – all without losing the story and its essence – but length reduction? That’s a long story. Really.

I was afraid to lose it. Afraid to actually face it. But then I began looking at it with my new eyes that are less emotional and sensitive now, may be even less creative and more practical – that’s indeed less fanciful (I am pretty sure it has everything to do with the constitutional Homoeopathic treatment I took for a health problem and not being able to write even plain, let alone exceptional, poetry anymore.). It is quite undesired, but the reduced emotional turbulence is indeed a relief at times. And that’s pretty much why I was able to cross-read my novel and how its elephantine word count has been reduced by a good 50K – which is, well, not close to done yet.

But – here, this is for those aspiring writers out there – I am not established yet, but I think having done this does make me person enough to say this:

If you feel something is impossible, it is probably possible when you start to think instead of feel. It has undoubtedly helped me. But of course, leave thinking part to the end. Because your writing- story or whatever – needs you with all the feeling to get real. Just evade melodrama – it’s cheesy. And cheesy can get mouldy. :)

Few things I learnt while searching for editing tips and length-reduction ideas that I practised:

  • There’s a lot you wrote that can happily go down the drain. No one expects you to give account of what your hero or heroine does every other second. No reader expects you to fill in every gap in their minds.
  • Once you have done with your most precious darlings – which are probably the best parts you loved writing – examine how many times you have appeased yourself saying the same things over and over again. We tend to repeat things we love, naturally. I found many instances in my novel that was kinda written again and again to justify particular scenarios. Trust your readers’ memories – they will remember the strengths, weaknesses and motives of your characters. Make your characters unforgettable, that’s your job. You are their creator, not their defense lawyer.
  • Think well over the number of POV’s in your story – it was a huge matter in my novel – obviously, the more the POV’s are, the longer the book gets. As long as a particular  POV is not necessary to advance your story, maybe – just maybe – it’s time to create another junk folder. I am glad that this occurred to me because, since both the hero and heroine are important to me (of course, the relationship with your story and characters gets personal), I tend to write the same scene in both of their POV’s. That’s a huge chunk of repetition. Of course, there’re many other opportunities to reveal how one of them had felt at that time, while we describe from the other’s angle.

Well, it’s a tad bit unfair to write a LONG post on how to SHORTEN your writing. So I guess, I will get back to work. Being the intern doctor on night duty shift alone without company or patients can get boring (It was election-day today, so people haven’t been as sick as usual since morning. That makes me wonder if they get sick more often when they are sure the doctors are working?), but that’s where the joy of being a writer comes. Call me crazy, but I am never alone. :)

Take care everyone! And oh, by the way, let me share a small quote that will prove many a writer’s reasons right. I shared it on my FB page already but, I love it too much:

“Fiction gives us a second chance that life denies us.” 
-Paul Theroux, novelist (b. 1941) 

Love, Sana

Reading now: Honour by Elif Shafak, a Turkish writer. Awesome one at that, if you love a daring book, which is not so commonplace.

honour-elif-shafak

What are you reading? :)


6 Comments on A Writer Can…, last added: 4/13/2014
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5. Reflections After 25 Years of Breathing… (And Much More!)

“The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

Blossoms

I guess the time to contemplate whether you have lived or just existed through the last 25 years is not exactly on your birthday. But I have chosen today, lest the thoughts vanish in another moment.
And yeah, today is uneventful (Except for the dinner date with my husband this evening). Nevertheless, I am in a state of disbelief.

I don’t want to just fade away. I would like to leave a trail and say that I have travelled this way one day. And a worthy way at that. In another time, in another set of mind and dreams, in totally another range of attitude that I think I had had, my concerns would have been different.

I have to admit that there was a time when I thought of 25 as so big and grown up. Everyone of us have. And there was a time when the visions I had of myself at 25 included another home, a baby, a job, and several other matters that held the title ‘Settled’. But life looks so far – not so far, still far – from any of these. Instead, here I am still just as giggly when I got together with my best girl friends from school last week. Just the same – looking no different – may be better – than last year. (I owe one to love and happiness.)

Weird or not, nothing is that close to our plans. Or better yet, assumptions. I don’t think a book was in the picture back then. But today as I reflect upon what has happened and what has remained and yes, what has been promising… I see beautiful views. Perhaps nothing is the same as I had one wished for. Most things are more than I wished for.

I have a book with my name printed on it. :)

I see myself working to have more of those tangible dreams. :)

I have readers. From places and spheres I have never been to. :)
I have friends that I have found to have remained across time, changed and distances.  :)

I have my family with me. And I have a loving husband waiting there for me to start our life together once done with college. :)

I have a part time job that I like, one that gives me the satisfaction of being self reliant and helpful. :)

And yeah, I’m finishing my degree in one of the noblest medical sciences ever found – Homeopathy. :)

I am 25 and I have a list of good things to think of.
But still I had this pang when I sort of chose to think that I am closer to 30 now than I was last year. That’s a pretty twisted thing to think. May be it’s the feeling that I haven’t done all that I can – could have – in this span of time. But how do you measure that? No space for comparison in that matter because each of us are different.
This pang of a need to leave a mark before leaving is perhaps what drives me.

I am a Muslim girl from a conservative society but I want to make that the reason for a positive difference rather than an excuse not to try.
This is a sane need, I reckon. A fair thinking.
And that’s how I decided to give change a try. I have ordered two new books from amazon.in. Two authors I have never read before (will talk about that after I get my books) but reviews tell me they are the kinds I need to read to take the leap of faith – to shift genres, to try new spheres, to believe in the capability of my own words… To be really different. To break away from myself and the box that’s my life and float away to distances and places undiscovered.

To dare to try more…

I have a story to tell – a different one that still has no shape in my mind. But I already know that to tell that story, I need to master my own thought process, muster some amount of courage. To begin that kind of change, something has got to change in my reading. I guess that’s the place to start from. To embark on my journey for a change in the literary side of the person I am.
However, for a person who was feeling dispirited and a tad bit old on her 25th birthday, there’s nothing better than being able to write a poem that’s inspirational, to self and others. :)
So, here it goes:

All It Takes

All it takes is sometimes a glance
To get on your feet and blithely dance…

All it takes is sometimes a kiss
To remember that one true promise…

All it takes is sometimes a twist
To find yourself lost in a hazy mist…

All it takes is sometimes a pause
To learn that fate isn’t always the cause…

All it takes is sometimes a song
To realize that life does not last so long…

All it takes is just the right spirit
To live today like it’s the last precious bit…

© Sana Rose 2013

Have a great day or evening, as it goes, everyone.

Love and Peace to All…

… Sana


3 Comments on Reflections After 25 Years of Breathing… (And Much More!), last added: 9/4/2013
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6. Back on Independence Day!

It’s been a long, long break. Too long for just one ‘O’. February 2012 is a month I don’t really remember much about. Seems like my last post was there. However, I had lots going on since then. Life has changed a lot – I’m sure everyone of yours has changed as well.

The changes include many things I don’t want to think about. Or mention, for that matter. And some include things like going legal with my lover of four years (We got the marriage certificate in December 2012 :) …), my old netbook turned against me and it was a long battle with Windows and Linux and all that change. Had exams in between that, to slow me down on my novel, however, I completed it earlier this year. These are just tidbits and the more interesting things are in the former list of those that I don’t want to think about. And I’m positive that you don’t really care about these stuffs. But before coming to the flesh of my post, I wanted to say a few excuses to no one in particular, so that I can think of blogging again after such a long time as one and half years.

Well, then I have been active on my FB page with updates about my writing, and even some first draft excerpts from Amidst Sandcastles (I know that’s not wise actually, but anything to feel alive! :) ).

Independence-Day-Celebration-With-Flowers

Now, the Indian Independence Day is here once more. I haven’t been thinking or writing much on the last one. But today I have a few thoughts to share. :)  

As a writer, I believe :
A word is meant to be true…
The thoughts behind the word sincere.

And the intent clear.

Hopefully, I am still waiting for a day when the word and reality shall blend…

It would be ungrateful to say India is still slaving or not independent…
But the mind is the origin of everything we do. That’s where we gotta start examining it…
Instead of making it a mere day of wishing each other ‘Happy Independence day’, it’s time to reflect upon whether you are truly free…

… From your own narrow mindedness.
… From the shackles of your own misunderstandings and wrong beliefs.
… From your own past.

… From the evil thoughts that corrupt hearts.
… From jealousy at one another.
… From self-pity, selfishness, anger and revengeful thoughts.

… From greed.
… From your own weak attitudes.
… From your own lame excuses.

The list could go on forever but the truth is that most of the dysfunction stems from these. 

This is not a lecture and not an ultimate list but find versions of these in your minds, at
your home, in your society and take one step at a time…
And then let’s wish with pride…

“Happy Independence Day!”

Wishing all fellow Indians the same and to everyone:

Smile, because you woke up today, too.  :)

With Love…
… Sana


2 Comments on Back on Independence Day!, last added: 9/4/2013
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7. Destiny and Choice

“Dying a bit everyday
Is my destiny…
But that being for you
Was my choice…..

- S.R.

 

 

There are two parts to every happening in our life. Destiny and Choice. Our life is sewn to both. But these are very much separated, too. The demarcation and boundaries are clear. And yet… don’t we often mix them up?

Yeah, it often goes like this:

You do something.
You realize it was a mistake.
You check what went wrong.
You find it was your decision or choice.
Your defense mechanism kicks in.
You look for an escape, for a justification to yourself and whosoever it may concern.
You check out all those things all over again.
You again find out that it’s your choice that went wrong.
You reflect upon what another possible reason could be.
You find the same could go wrong if that was your fate.
For once, you believe in Destiny, what’s written.
And you say, “Things went wrong, I’m so sorry but that was my fate. There was no way I could stop it…”
And when you look in the mirror the next time, you ask yourself, “Was it like that? There was nothing you could do to stop it?”
You know it wasn’t like that, but you led yourself to believe that it was destiny, fate, not your choice, not your decision, that put you in this particular situation.

Often, the choices go wrong in the long run when you give up what matters. For a temporary well-being, for a momentary escape, you often tend to choose material things over the priceless things.

Let’s examine a universal stuff – Break up. :) After making all the mistakes, you realize, the person you love isn’t the same anymore. That you are not the same anymore. That you both need different things in life. We have two roads diverged here.

To stay. To let go.
To hold on to the debris. To walk away from what stinks.
To go on and let yourself rot. To break up and be fair to your heart.
There are always choices, aren’t there? No argument there.

While some manage to walk away, many stay back, wondering how to do it. How to just put a full-stop, after all this time together, all that they shared. True, it’s not that easy. Where would the promises go when you walk away? Where will the memories go? They don’t have a place to go, except where you go… But, what if staying just kills a small part of you every other moment, throwing you into a dark ocean from where the longer you stay, you can’t find a safe shore? Isn’t that frightening? Sometimes, it’s what you do that matters, not how you do it. In cases like this, to pinpoint. Because there aren’t many ‘how’s there… Only what happens in the end needs to be counted since both are likely to be hurt in the end anyway. Whether you make it quick or put it off till it will hurt more.

Now, that was dealing with a negative situation. But there are some simpler things that can take up our discussion now. Like loving someone itself. Something like my verses I stated in the beginning. :) And like, you’re walking with a friend and when you share a moment of happiness, you reach out and hold hi

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8. Love and Other Healers…

Life is such that only few of us hold onto what matters, only fewer even think of what matters. In the long run, we forget so much that we call it change. What changed there? Did we or the things that mattered? Does one change alone? Or both together?
Again, where do things go wrong as we go on? Where did things go wrong when we finally find ourselves in some strange place, where we haven’t been planning to go to?

We are the ones changing, no doubt. Everything else is relative to our aspirations, our needs, our dreams and our actions. When these things change, naturally what we get, what we experience changes, too. I have heard from more than one people that Love doesn’t exist anymore. Some are just too scared to believe in Love (or persons?). Either because of what they are seeing around them or because of their own painful experiences with love.

Yeah, Love is often about taking risks. Often about giving the other person the power to destroy you or revive you, as we have read in numerous text messages. But not to believe in Love anymore? A guy who was hurt in a past relationship said, “There’s no love. All is just an act.” I felt sorry for him. It was just the other day, when I had posted some sappy stuff in my FB status.
He is wrong, I stated. I told him that. Because, Love isn’t something you should generalize based on just your experience in life with a single person of the opposite sex. Where do other categories of love fall, when you say there’s no love anymore? The love that’s not a romantic love between you and a man/woman?

There are more people with love, living love, knowing love, sharing love in this world than those who don’t. It’s a fact. In one way or another. And one woman’s betrayal doesn’t mean every woman is deceptive. It only means that, that certain woman doesn’t deserve you. And likewise, one man’s ditching doesn’t mean all men ditch their women. Or that you’re not worthy to be loved or good enough. You could always be a princess to another man who is worthy of your heart.

All these are things everyone of us know. It goes without saying. But still, people are reluctant to believe it. Afraid that they might get hurt. Basic human defensive instinct. But, how long… how long will you live in fear? How long in disbelief? Not believing in Love, straying away from its path and looking at it with contempt is a more dangerous situation than murders and other crimes. In a way, isn’t all those crimes coming from a lack of love itself?

And yet there are some who are being pushed to believe that Love is about Lust, Money and Power. Even Lust is not about Money and Power. Then how will Love be? Lust is about the material aspect of your body. Money is about the material aspects in everything. Money is necessary but more money could be a tad bit too attractive and might repel you from the more important matters in life. And Power… It’s again something totally different from lust and money.

There are two kinds of Power, I believe. Like in most things. Positive and Negative. There is Power in Knowledge and Love. There is power in knowing other people’s secrets and lust and money. So, I wouldn’t say gaining power isn’t good. It depends on what kind of power you attain – whether it’s the gentle power of love and perseverance, like that of a mother’s, or whether it’s the destructive power of secrets, money and lust, like that of a seductress’.
Love, the word in itself, is tender. It sounds like something you want for life. Something that’s as subtle as your breath…

I have been writing for

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9. Hang On, What’s Happening?!!

Well, this is an unplanned post that wordpress is forcing me to do. I will repost my FB status (edited) here to save time since I am totally attracted to my bed right now. I could use some good sleep. But I have to resolve this first.

Just yesterday, there were only 15 followers here on this blog, as per the email notifications I have received so far. Today, when I checked the blog some minutes back, I happened to see the flabbergasting development. “Join 943 other followers” in the right hand side column. As you can see, there are only 610 page hits (who knows if that’s true, now?) so far since it’s a new blog. Will you guys please check if you’re seeing the same number and let me know? It’d be sad to see it go back down to 15 after seeing this huge number. :D I know it’s a goddamn untimely technical problem. (Not that I don’t believe in my own writing ;) )

And better yet, IF there are 943 followers as this number claims, heya there! At least 940 of you will be getting email with this post in it. So just let me know how many of you’re getting it. :D That’s way cooler. Oh, my God… ROFL!

Now do you have any doubts like whether I should bother, or why I should?

Well, yes, shouldn’t I bother? It’s my blog after all… :D Who else will bother what’s happening inside it, to it?

Hoping to get this resolved soon. Goodnight for today. And have a nice day to those on the other side of the globe but on this side of the blog. :) Now, I like that.

Love, Sana

 


1 Comments on Hang On, What’s Happening?!!, last added: 2/13/2012
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10. To Trust or Not To Trust… That’s the Question, Isn’t it?

Just the other day, I was talking to my friend, who happens to be Elias again, and at some point in the funny, comfortable conversation, I told him, “I remember you had thick lashes on your eyes, do they still?” He was my classmate in 4th Grade and it wasn’t an age that really made favourable friendships between boys and girls. Years later, I met him online and though we hadn’t forgotten each other, we were different. (No one is as he was in 4th grade, a considerable years later, and in our case, twelve or thirteen.) I still remembered somehow that he loved reading. I have no idea where I ever got that information from but at times it’s weird to realize what all we remember.
Anyway, I could use it, couldn’t I? After all, I am an author with my debut book out and all.***  So, when I asked him about his eyes, he was like, :/ when he agreed to it.*** I couldn’t hold back a chuckle. I liked the expression and I told him as much. And he said, desperate to even out the embarrassment ***, “I still remember that you were an irritating nerd.”
That made me laugh even more because what else did one expect otherwise, just thinking of the sheer innocence of it? :D
It just wouldn’t register as a personal comment, because I bet that is the only thing he or any other guy would remember about the girls in their class back then, when they are nine or ten, unless they had an early crush on someone. True, that one, he confessed. :) ***
And I said, “Trust me, I’m a writer!”
And he was like, “Why would I trust a writer, when I don’t even trust my doctor or lawyer?”
That was the turning point of my thoughts and I further asked him, “Who do you trust?” knowing the answer. And I stop the exact report of our conversation here because I don’t want to make this blog his story *** ;) and because our conversation really did end with a few more texts. Though we planned to talk about it, we couldn’t as it was getting late for me. So we’ll do it another day.

Trust is like petroleum in today’s world. It takes a long time to make and evaporates in a short time. It’s exhausting due to exploitation. And we can’t really blame someone when he or she says, “I don’t trust so and so,” or even “I don’t trust you.” As much as it hurts, we might as well remember that there might be a deeper hurt in them. Or it is necessarily not about being hurt but just being not able to trust anyone or anything completely, or being unable to think of a name when they are asked, “Who do you trust?” rather than “Who do you trust most?”. Yeah, when comparison is omitted, we don’t have a lot of answers, do we? But then, maybe it’s something we can work on and build up, though it may take time. Building up trust without a negotiating contract or lease. If  it was about a lease, it would never be Trust with all its crudeness and uncertain thrill and commitment that didn’t take a signature.

Last night, I asked the same to myself. “Sana, who do you trust?”
But, fortunately or unfortunately, I had many names that I couldn’t point to one. The result is the same. I couldn’t point one name. He couldn’t point one name. Because I have too many people I trust in my life including him***. And  for him, he didn’t know. That’s how different two people a

5 Comments on To Trust or Not To Trust… That’s the Question, Isn’t it?, last added: 2/12/2012
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11. Of A Week in My Writing Room and My Views on the ‘Room’ Without A View…

The last post was like, I’ll be back in a week, with half a dozen chapters of my novel written (owing to the solitary confinement and zero networking). And it’s been a long break, but I have been back on FB early but just didn’t turn the corner to blog.

To explain my absence (if you give a damn, that is, LOL), let me tell you what I did. :) I took a silent break after the last post. I wasn’t updating the networks, nor writing any poetry. And I reduced talking to friends and texting and chatting. It was more like I talked only about my writing and talked with the specific readers who are giving me feedback, wrote to them. For two days I didn’t have internet connection itself. I made a kind of Room in my head. Where it was just Me and Words and occasionally some talk about my writing. Just like Jack and Ma in Room (Talking about that later in this post, scroll down.)
What I was trying to do was gather all my distracted and distorted thoughts from all those space out there that stole my attention and bring it to a focus. To the file titled ‘Manuscript‘ in the folder ‘Amidst Sandcastles‘. It had been stuck at Chapter 22 and the gaping gap was disturbing, even a bit fatally painful. I began writing this novel in June 2010 and it’s well past one and a half years since that and I am not done with it. So I had to do something.

Like setting the last date of June 2012. If I finish it by then, good. Otherwise, I might never finish it, because new ‘titles’ are emerging in my head every week and this started feeling a little bit stale. Finishing it before I got bored of the whole plot – it’s been in my head for too long – is the point.
However, things worked out according to my plan. Well, half of the things worked out. :D On the third evening, I took out the notepad in which I had written a paragraph about Hope. I copied it to a new word file and added another paragraph and mailed it to two  close friends. Heslin said she was waiting to read that new book that was emerging now. Elias as usual criticised about the detachment between the two paragraphs (natural since I wrote it at two different
times) but he also added that he would kill me if I didn’t use this part I wrote in some book in future. Such a threatening encouragement that I had no choice but to start dreaming about that book and recently I began that one… :D Thanks Elias. But for that, I have to get the first one done and there, the writers’ block fell down smoothly….
That evening, I completed chapter 22, jumped to 23, wrote it the next day (of course, broke my back in the chair late into the night) and a day later, I did 24, which was such a joy to write. And the passion was back, the fire burning… And then passed on the chapters to my friend, who’s keeping up with my novel as I write it. And I was half way through 25 and the block returned…….. :(

But that was last week, because of hearing about the impending exams on 23rd. I completed that chapter yesterday, after a 2-days’ break. And it feels good. But now I have to take a break for the Abominable Exams (AE). It is definitely not in my plans to score well, maybe just pass, b

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12. To Gather The Petals and Bloom Again…

Well, it’s just a few minutes back I thought of this. I’m taking a break. It’s too early still to be taking a break. But it’s a much needed one. Let’s get to the point – I just have to organize myself and my projects before I dive in again.

Today is the best day to start the break. The Net package expires today anyway, so I’ll just put off recharging it. Meanwhile, stay put, I won’t be away for too long. It’s me, so I am hoping that I will make it to the end of the break without babbling things at you people. I don’t know how long or short it will be. But, I’m going to make it meaningful.

(Huh?! I know…)

While I am away, don’t forget that my poetry, my blog and other stuff will still be on the net.

*Those who haven’t already, visit me.

*Those who have, and those who like what they see, share my writing and my FB page. And follow me here. Give me feedback and comments and write to me. I’ll get back.

*Those who think this blog is worth a read or a visit, follow it through email. You can read the posts in the emails itself, if you don’t want to navigate to this page to read it. I am not a frequent blogger and my blog posts don’t get many comments. (I am new here). :D So don’t hesitate to subscribe, your inbox won’t be spammed or crammed, I swear. ;)

*Those who are already picking the petals right from the beginning, I will be back soon. :) With something better and fresh.

So, adieu, till we meet again…

Love Always, Sana


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13. Let’s Drop New Year Irresolutions For Now! Better Yet…

… I haven’t decided what’s better yet. But still we could just talk about something other than New Year and resolutions and irresolution…. Everyone seems to be heavily thinking about what to do, what not to do, what to do never, and what they’d plan and never do. And the blog posts are so intent on talking about the same. So many blogs have got new readers just because of their realistic views about resolutions which will naturally be humorous. And the added humor sense of the writer and the reader makes it all a brand new funny new year! So why not just slowly drop it now? The new year is already 4 days old. :)

So, I wasn’t planning a blog post today, but I just want to share a link. My first author interview is published on a blog. :) Just take a look at it and tell me what you think.

I know a lot of it is downright silly – but the whole thing is just me. Silly or not, I am an author! :D And one particular thing that might nauseate you is mentioning Cecelia Ahern’s P.S. I Love You. To me, reading it was like an emotional treadmill. I have to confess that I couldn’t read two chapters at a go and it took me two weeks to read that book! (My book reading rate is three books a week when I wasn’t this much a writer). I would get emo in between and have to get over it before continuing it. And I had to hide the tears from my roommates. (I live in a hostel). May be I’m an oversensitive fool. Or may be she is a good author. It’s not always that a book can make you smile and cry and both at the same time throughout the book.  And that too when it’s very sad. I loved the book, no crap. But what was more inspiring was that the author was only 21 at the time of publishing that book. That is younger than the now-me. That was when I came to believe that I could do it, too.

So you get the reason. All you have to do is ask me! :)

Anyway, the interview is here:

Sana Rose: Author on Focus for The Torrent from My Soul.

And they have missed something. The thing being my book’s cover picture. :)

Trust me, I know this is too drab a cover for a debut poetry book with such an elegant title and all. But God knows it’s different! Anyway, it’s one of the reasons I am looking out to republish this book, apart from the huge cost of the imported editions of books in India. So let’s see how it pays off. :)

Meanwhile, it’s too late here and I have been very lazy to make it to the clinics in the past two days, I would better go now. Though I know 200% certainly that I am interested in sleeping in tomorrow morning, too. Sigh…

But let’s see. The mosquitoes are eating me up. And it’s past midnight. They might as well be some vampires. Yuck! I just thrashed out and crushed a mosquito on my arm. And gallons of blood… ugh! Bloody suckers – they are probably the most optimistic creatures I will ever meet.

Feasting on my B+ve b

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14. Old New Years… and Tips to those suffering from Irresolution-2012

“Sometimes, life is as meaningless as
My smiles and your tears
And our resolutions on New Years…
But the meaningfulness lies in
My tears for Your smiles
And the dreams that take us miles…”
♥ s.r. ♥

Now that the first day of 2012 is past us (to me, the second day has also ended), let’s sit down by the fire and enjoy some quiet moments of contemplation. And I have just realized that my resolutions are already different things and not just the ones I shared in my previous post and it’s only the second day of the new year. And better yet, I’m not going to announce those resolutions here (or say, plans – plan is a safer word because we don’t have to keep plans, we only have to make plans and let them go wrong.)

I have decided to go back to childhood days and what new year was at that time. Things have changed a lot since. And now, January is just the next month after December and it happens to have a new registration number, is all. And since there isn’t an April-May summer vacation to look forward to here in the medical college, unlike school days, life is a synonym for ‘monotonous’ and the early part of the year is insignificant. But when I was a kid, there were many things that mattered when New Year was coming. Like exchange of gifts and new year cards.

My dad has been jobless for as long as I can remember. And our huge house was sold when I was twelve. After a series of rental houses during the next three years, we at last settled in a house where we lived for the next five years. Of course, I got the best schooling, good food and nice clothes and I grew up seeing my mother grow more tired everyday. She was a teacher in a lower primary school. And she ran the family with her earnings and gave us all that she could. The things we missed out on went unacknowledged. Like family hours, talking and daily school updates and sharing of things that mattered. And I constantly fell in love (wasn’t love, I now realize), broke my heart four times in a row, since I was fifteen upto twenty. True, financial crisis can ruin a family, take the fun out of it. But not necessarily. It’s just as easy to avoid. And give your kids what they want, besides what they need. Like time, you know.

I remember how I felt when many of my friends sent me New Year greeting cards and I couldn’t send them any in return. Sometimes, dad bought us cards but it could end up in a fight if the number was odd since I have younger siblings. And I remember how my dad brought a huge card for one Eid and said to my angry little sis that it was for his friend and later gave it to me when she was asleep.

‘It’s for your best friend,’ he said. My then-best friend had sent me a beautiful card that week and I wanted to send back something equally good. That was when I was nine.

A few years from then on, things were real difficult for a girl who was in the stage of making more friends and being social and all that. And there were no more cards. And the compulsory new year gift exchange to a friend chosen by lucky-lots were mostly pens or small diaries. I felt the diary or pen that I was to gift was lame when my friends bought flower vases and timepieces and artificial flowers and showcas

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15. Resolutions-for-Never and Other Dumb Dreams with New Year Wishes!

Hello, everybody!

I have never made resolutions for the New Year, all these 23 years. Somehow, it seemed lame and funny, because knowing me, (certainly, like many of you) I am not someone who does everything I plan and resolve to do, every day or even on most of the days.
And it’s not like we can plan the next moment always, because we humans are so fragile and uncertain. We are so ephemeral and weak when we consider the single, simple fact that we don’t know when our last breath will be. But, this year, I thought, may be it won’t hurt to make some resolutions that can be done, and have to be done. Only that the list should include things that you are sure of and the validity of the list has to be ‘forever‘. :D May be then, things might work.

The nature of us human beings is such that it’s so perfectly imperfect. :) And the pursuit of perfection is such a wild goose chase, if you know what I mean. But only when we take that chance, only when we try to chase that wild goose, will we be even good at what we do, if not perfect. It doesn’t make sense when we think, ‘Whatever I do isn’t going to be perfect, so I am stopping trying.’
So, why don’t we take advantage of the human nature of unpredictability and uncertainty? Let me explain. :) I’m just saying, let’s surprise ourselves everyday. The only way to surprise ourselves is to be good, to do something good everyday.
We are as unpredictable as the first line of a poem. (I know, that’s a heavy comparison, but a good and expected one, coming from a poet.) We don’t know how we would react to a situation. We only think that we know it. We only know that’s what we are thinking. But come a moment when you’re facing a strife, or a moment of ecstasy, either we go dumb for a moment or we scream. Even as we do it, though we don’t at that moment, later it can surprise us. Come to think of it. So, surprise yourself with a deed that you hadn’t included in your mental resolution for the new year. It’s going to be fun.
:) And regarding the uncertainty – everything we do is often edged with uncertainty. Or sometimes, as far as another group of people are concerned, they have too much certainty, sureness in everything they do or say or choose.

Don’t you think a certain amount of uncertainty is actually even healthy? We do a lot of things, expect some outcome when we do all that or some kind of consequence. The point is, when we are all but full of certainty and expectations instead of anticipations and a thought of “what will be?”, we are bound to be disappointed at some point of time. So when you do something, do it with confidence but for every input you give, expect only one-third of the output. :D In more than one way, it’s the only way to reduce disappointment.

Frankly, I’m not telling you to be a pessimist on New Year’s Eve, though I know I do sound like one, but being a pessimist has its advantages. I couldn’t find a mistake in a quote I read a long time back. I don’t rem

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16. Absolutely Unplanned!

Hello, there! :)

Well, I wasn’t planning on a blog-post today, but sometimes it’s like I don’t have a choice in that matter. I just end up doing what I wasn’t planning to do on most days. :D

Speaking of the unplanned events, I looked up my file of quotes on poetry and what caught my eye today was something that’s related to “the unplanned”.

“If you know what you are going to write when you’re writing a poem, it’s going to be average.”  ~Derek Walcott

This was today’s attention-winning quote! :) And to start with, I couldn’t agree more on this. A fortnight ago, I got to talk with a local writer who had come to extract some details from me after reading my book. And he asked me, “Do you write poems based on a theme and planning it, or do you just write what comes to you at that moment?”

The question was easy, the answer easier. I’m best at writing unplanned lines. I don’t usually have a title to my poems when I start it. (Some poems do, and we’ll talk about that later.) Because I told my interrogator, “I often don’t know what I had just written even after finishing a poem. I read it all over again a few times to find the essence of the poem and find a suitable title.”

You have no idea how much Walcott’s quote makes me ecstatic. :D But let me say that I won’t let my poems be rated by a quote from a person I frankly don’t know. :) I leave it to you.

To me, a poem that comes unplanned and is written without knowing what it’s about would be extremely beautiful if it’s adorned by rhyming and words like dreams, hope and love. :D Well, see, I’m a very undemanding person. The poet just have to be very good and understandable. ;)

Writing mountains of verses and oceans of thoughts will be complete only when the readers understand a work. Again, that comes down to simplicity of writing. Let’s keep our poetry simple, however unplanned and unknown the topic is to ourselves. So that it reaches out to everyone alike. It’s something we must do for the sake of poetry. Keeping its beauty and keeping it simple.

Now, this is a scattered blog-post, without consistency because I’m in a hurry (I always am, I guess, I’ll try to work it out soon!) and it’s breakfast time. And my thoughts are not yet organized for today. :)Add a Comment

17. The Endless Possibilities of Poetry…

Good morning! :)

Just last night, as I retired to bed, I was thinking about what to blog about today. And this title got locked in my mind. The Endless Possibilities of Poetry. I still have no idea what I was expecting myself to bring out early this morning.  :)

However, I dug out some quotes on poetry and went through them. To get some idea. They were all good, I should say. As a poet, I can relate to those thoughts. But what surprised me was, I had a question in my mind on each quote. And even more surprising is that, though I would agree on all those quotes, I still had some difference in the base of my thoughts. Let’s examine a few of them, shall we? :) One will do for today.

“A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer…. He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it.  A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring.”  ~E.B. White

Well, E.B. White has a point there, when it comes to poems of all times – classic poetry and modern poetry, since poetry is more towards the abstract than the concrete. (Well, not exactly. Abstract on the surface, but concrete in the depth.). But maybe not mine. :)

I have heard comments (criticism, in real English ;) ) that my poems are pretty conclusive. Like, I explain myself too much in the poems. Like I give the reasons alongside the ‘why’s and the ‘so what if’s alongside the ‘what if’s. :) And that my poetry has to be a bit more indirect, which I do try, but may be my thoughts are super-shallow, not even ankle-deep. But maybe, also, the other poets are not able to be so direct (huh???) :D or afraid to be direct? LOL. That’s far-fetched, but still, it’s worth a shot – that thought. Maybe you all should examine yourself about what you write (to poets) and what you read (to readers).

And readers, choose one – of course, the tastes vary – but just let me know the one you enjoy. The direct, simple, explanatory and satisfyingly concluded poems or the indirect, complex, thought-pregnant (well, I wouldn’t say the other one is thought-devoid, but still…) and suspended poems?

Decide it asking yourself:

*Are the simpler poems devoid of any significant food for thought? Does being conclusive stop you from forming your own thoughts? (Of course, they won’t do that to the extent of watching the Harry Potter movies instead of reading the book series which is too good!)

*Would you prefer a reason to read the next poem in a book (let’s assume you have a poetry book in your hand~ if not, get one!) or would you just read it because you love poetry? If you prefer a reason, would it have been because the poem you read was conclusive and gratifying OR suspended, abstract and made you want to find an answer? The possibility lies in it that, sometimes the answer to a question formed from one poem might be scattered in various poem

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18. Starting Over On A Winter Morn…

Good morning everyone!

The sun is streaming in, creating distorted shadows of the window bars on the sand-coloured curtains in the living room.It’s late morning now and the mist just cleared away and the cold air has been warmed up. I can’t find a topic to start my first post here. But I guess, I’m not all set for talking about a particular topic this morning, fighting with a case of sinusitis and headache.

So here I’m, welcoming each and everyone of you to my new blog. I’m starting over. Every once in a while, we all have to start over with something in our lives. As this year comes to an end, I decided to start over with my blog. :) I thought, let’s get down to business now that I am really writing. Seriously writing than ever. :) So, I’m just keeping the other blog at Sana Rose Writes… for those who might want to see what I used to blab about. There wasn’t much over there, but it was something more personal than professional. Maybe because of all those roses in it. :D

And I just wanted a change. So I shifted from Blogger to WordPress. And I think this is way easier to get loaded on the browser. I sure have a website and blog pages come with it, but I chose not to use it since it takes years to get the editor loaded. The page is still getting loaded on another tab. So, that would mean less blogging.

So, I have been making a lot of plans. :)

Well, these are the plans for now. Weebly, my website toolsite is still loading. So pardon me, I will have to close it for now since I am in some hurry. And the new link will appear on the website only when Weebly is good. But of course, I shall interlink everything ASAP. The link to this new blog is on my old blog’s navtabs already. Check that out. :)

So get yourself acquainted with the stuff around here and let me know if there is anything more you would like me to add. I myself am a bit awkward here and groping around and doing experiments.

So, just drop me a comment and tell me what you think of this new place. :)

Have a great day everyone!

With Love, Sana


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