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Viewing Blog: Francis Ford Iowa, Most Recent at Top
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Hi. My name is Daniel Kraus. I'm a novelist and filmmaker. When I was growing up in Iowa, I made movies with my friends. Many of them were remakes of movies I liked, like MISERY or THE GODFATHER. Others were originals. All of them were awful. Now, to lead up to the publication of my new book, THE MONSTER VARIATIONS, I'm blogging my old movies chronologically for your enjoyment. Let's feel the pain together.
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1. THE END.

CLOSED FOR BUSINESS

[Comments remain open.]

Keep updated @
danielkraus.com (books),
workseries.com (movies),
& Facebook.

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2. THE END.

CLOSED FOR BUSINESS

[Comments remain open.]

Keep updated @
danielkraus.com (books),
workseries.com (movies),
& Facebook.

0 Comments on THE END. as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
3. A Final Word



I've posted 35 movies. Logged 51 posts. Re-edited a masterpiece. Handed out awards. World premiered lost films. Written another novel. Finished another documentary. It's been a hell of a year.

Out of all this effort, one bona fide superstar was born: Joe. Above is a recent discussion he and I had about creating (and, almost 20 years later, reliving) the Danman Productions. You ought to watch it. It's funny. It's insightful. It ends with a montage set to the Perfect Strangers theme song. Wait, that last one caught your attention?

Francis Ford Iowa has been a ridiculous amount of fun. I'm sad to see it end. But end it must, because there is simply nothing left to post. Maybe someday I'll return to this project--after all, there remain a few unproduced scripts--but for now, it's time to move on.

Good night, sweet prince.


4 Comments on A Final Word, last added: 4/24/2010
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4. A Final Word



I've posted 35 movies. Logged 51 posts. Re-edited a masterpiece. Handed out awards. World premiered lost films. Written another novel. Finished another documentary. It's been a hell of a year.

Out of all this effort, one bona fide superstar was born: Joe. Above is a recent discussion he and I had about creating (and, almost 20 years later, reliving) the Danman Productions. You ought to watch it. It's funny. It's insightful. It ends with a montage set to the Perfect Strangers theme song. Wait, that last one caught your attention?

Francis Ford Iowa has been a ridiculous amount of fun. I'm sad to see it end. But end it must, because there is simply nothing left to post. Maybe someday I'll return to this project--after all, there remain a few unproduced scripts--but for now, it's time to move on.

Good night, sweet prince.


5 Comments on A Final Word, last added: 5/10/2010
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5. WORLD PREMIERE: Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part II

Fifteen years after being shot, the sequel to Sex, Drugs, & Film is finally complete!

A LITTLE BACKGROUND FIRST...

Filmed simultaneously with Part One, it was supposed to have been edited directly afterward. But because of the limitations of ye olde reel-to-reel editing, the first one took months. I didn't have the time, patience, or stamina to go through that again, and so into storage the tapes went. I recall Matt N. being particularly pissed about it. (All better now, Matt?)

When I raided the vaults last month, no discovery was more exciting than a group of VHS tapes labeled "INTERVIEWS." Just as shocking was the ridiculous amount of documentation on the project: the original handwritten script, the revised typed script, exhaustive transcripts of the interviews, notes on editing and b-roll, and more. I'm a little bit in awe of how seriously I took all of this. I guess I'm still taking it seriously. Maybe I always will.

* * * * *

NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!

This sequel centers upon The Godfathers: Part Two and how it was the downfall of Danman Productions. Whereas the first half was more about my cast's twisted web of relationships, this one is more about me. Oh, and the lethal cocktail of drugs, blackmail, sex, psychosis, chauvinism, paranoia, and vengeance that hastened my collapse.



Really, though, it's the other stuff in here that had me rolling. The security-camera video of me going ballistic. The blurred interview with "Employee X." Joe's directorial debut. Clips from my proposed Vietnam epic. A long-lost interview with my mom. There's enough here to delight me for another who

3 Comments on WORLD PREMIERE: Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part II, last added: 4/21/2010
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6. WORLD PREMIERE: Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part II

Fifteen years after being shot, the sequel to Sex, Drugs, & Film is finally complete!

A LITTLE BACKGROUND FIRST...

Filmed simultaneously with Part One, it was supposed to have been edited directly afterward. But because of the limitations of ye olde reel-to-reel editing, the first one took months. I didn't have the time, patience, or stamina to go through that again, and so into storage the tapes went. I recall Matt N. being particularly pissed about it. (All better now, Matt?)

When I raided the vaults last month, no discovery was more exciting than a group of VHS tapes labeled "INTERVIEWS." Just as shocking was the ridiculous amount of documentation on the project: the original handwritten script, the revised typed script, exhaustive transcripts of the interviews, notes on editing and b-roll, and more. I'm a little bit in awe of how seriously I took all of this. I guess I'm still taking it seriously. Maybe I always will.

* * * * *

NOW, ON WITH THE SHOW!

This sequel centers upon The Godfathers: Part Two and how it was the downfall of Danman Productions. Whereas the first half was more about my cast's twisted web of relationships, this one is more about me. Oh, and the lethal cocktail of drugs, blackmail, sex, psychosis, chauvinism, paranoia, and vengeance that hastened my collapse.



Really, though, it's the other stuff in here that had me rolling. The security-camera video of me going ballistic. The blurred interview with "Employee X." Joe's directorial debut. Clips from my proposed Vietnam epic. A long-lost interview with my mom. There's enough here to delight me for another who

0 Comments on WORLD PREMIERE: Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part II as of 1/1/1900
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7. Abandoned Projects

When I wrote (longingly! wistfully!) about four missing masterpieces, I was relying on the old noggin, which I guess isn't what it used to be. The recent unsealing of the vaults revealed that I was far more prolific than I remembered. Below I break down seven astounding projects that never saw the light of day.

DYING FOR DOLLARS
This totally forgotten episode of "Tales from the Creep" was supposed to have been shot between 4-D and Sitter Splitter. Why did I abandon it? Maybe it had something to do with the story's unrelenting grimness: four down-on-their-luck friends pool their money and play a game of Russian Roulette so that the winner will have enough to survive on. Cheery, eh?

As you can see above, Moe (to be played by Shad) was supposed to have his thoughts audible to the audience, a technique I didn't pull off until Breakdown: The Eugene Brinkmeister Story. And though this script got two giant X's slashed through it, I did work a similar Russian Roulette scene into The Godfathers: Part Two. Score: Dan, 1. Life, 0.

GREED
My recollection of The Wager got two things wrong:

  • The title was actually Greed. Though the script has been lost to time, the title card (seen above) makes that fact pretty darn clear.
  • The style of the title card indicates that it was not, in fact, an entry into my "Tales from the Creep" canon. Rather, it was a second episode of The Twilight Zone. Diversification--it was key to my profitable business plan.
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
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8. Abandoned Projects

When I wrote (longingly! wistfully!) about four missing masterpieces, I was relying on the old noggin, which I guess isn't what it used to be. The recent unsealing of the vaults revealed that I was far more prolific than I remembered. Below I break down seven astounding projects that never saw the light of day.

DYING FOR DOLLARS
This totally forgotten episode of "Tales from the Creep" was supposed to have been shot between 4-D and Sitter Splitter. Why did I abandon it? Maybe it had something to do with the story's unrelenting grimness: four down-on-their-luck friends pool their money and play a game of Russian Roulette so that the winner will have enough to survive on. Cheery, eh?

As you can see above, Moe (to be played by Shad) was supposed to have his thoughts audible to the audience, a technique I didn't pull off until Breakdown: The Eugene Brinkmeister Story. And though this script got two giant X's slashed through it, I did work a similar Russian Roulette scene into The Godfathers: Part Two. Score: Dan, 1. Life, 0.

GREED
My recollection of The Wager got two things wrong:

  • The title was actually Greed. Though the script has been lost to time, the title card (seen above) makes that fact pretty darn clear.
  • The style of the title card indicates that it was not, in fact, an entry into my "Tales from the Creep" canon. Rather, it was a second episode of The Twilight Zone. Diversification--it was key to my profitable business plan.
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
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9. Circle

All that stuff about how The Godfathers: Part Two was the final Danman Production? Yeah, that wasn't true. Circle, which utilized the same company of actors, was technically the last movie. I could've sworn it wasn't branded with the illustrious Danman seal, but the recent vault discovery revealed that I was only half-right. See for yourself:


"Aneurysm Films" was a sad little attempt to reinvent myself post-Godfathers. Yet I couldn't bring myself to totally abandon the Danman moniker. Thus, as the closing credits read, "A Danman Production of an Aneurysm Film."



The shift was supposed to mark a new kind of maturity, I suppose, but those serious line-readings? And that semi-serious script? Total disaster. Made when I was a college freshman, Circle kicked off three years of humorless, uninspired experiments. Compared to the rollicking ambition that was Godfathers Two, the movie was a minor effort.



So minor, in fact, that I remembered it incorrectly as a "short film." Clocking in at forty-some minutes, it's actually one of my longest pictures. Drained after the months and months of shooting Godfathers Two, I vomited up a story that I could shoot in just a few days. That's all I cared about anymore. Man, I was done.



Aside from Matt N. and Joe proving themselves impervious to bad scripts, Circle's only innovation was that my co-star Tony set me up with an editing booth so that I add songs in post-production. Unfortunately, we screwed up the levels and the whole movie runs hot.

2 Comments on Circle, last added: 4/6/2010
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10. Circle

All that stuff about how The Godfathers: Part Two was the final Danman Production? Yeah, that wasn't true. Circle, which utilized the same company of actors, was technically the last movie. I could've sworn it wasn't branded with the illustrious Danman seal, but the recent vault discovery revealed that I was only half-right. See for yourself:


"Aneurysm Films" was a sad little attempt to reinvent myself post-Godfathers. Yet I couldn't bring myself to totally abandon the Danman moniker. Thus, as the closing credits read, "A Danman Production of an Aneurysm Film."



The shift was supposed to mark a new kind of maturity, I suppose, but those serious line-readings? And that semi-serious script? Total disaster. Made when I was a college freshman, Circle kicked off three years of humorless, uninspired experiments. Compared to the rollicking ambition that was Godfathers Two, the movie was a minor effort.



So minor, in fact, that I remembered it incorrectly as a "short film." Clocking in at forty-some minutes, it's actually one of my longest pictures. Drained after the months and months of shooting Godfathers Two, I vomited up a story that I could shoot in just a few days. That's all I cared about anymore. Man, I was done.



Aside from Matt N. and Joe proving themselves impervious to bad scripts, Circle's only innovation was that my co-star Tony set me up with an editing booth so that I could add songs in post-production. Unfortunately, we screwed up the sound levels and the whole movie runs hot. 0 Comments on Circle as of 1/1/1900

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11. The Vault of Horror

What you are looking at is an artifact of untold value. It is the original handwritten script to Kat Killer, the very first Danman Production. All over it are the scribbles, revisions, and doodles of yours truly. From whence did this veritable Shroud of Turin come? From a cardboard box in an Iowa basement, where I conducted (one last time) the final, ultimate search for all surviving movie materials. What I found - in both quantity and quality - will shock you.

First, let's take a closer look at this seminal screenplay.

Even as a teen I had an innate sense of drama. Look at the first three words I ever wrote: "Guy walks in." Guy? What guy? Walks? Walks how? In? Into where? So many delicious mysteries to be solved! Kat Killer was just one of the many scripts, notes, tapes, and figments of esoterica that I uncovered. Like the explorer who first disturbed the fetid air of King Tut's tomb and glimpsed that first gleam of gold, here is what mine eyes did see:

The Francis Ford Iowa project has been a nostalgia trip of epic distance, but up until this point my memories had been reliant on the finished films themselves - there was no scrap of behind-the-scenes matter. Suddenly, I was faced with the ample evidence of my hurried tomfoolery, my hasty compromises, and my dependence upon a certain exclamation:

Not a single script I found didn't have someone screaming "Noooooooooo!!!!!!" at some point (if not multiple points). For example, there were several such wails of protest in Misery. Oddly enough, the script itself was titled Misery II. It was my first remake, so I must have toyed with the idea of considering my movies as sequels rather than copies. Anyway, note the "Noooo!!"

Even more incredible is the promotional material that survived. I've already shared t

4 Comments on The Vault of Horror, last added: 3/31/2010
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12. The Vault of Horror

What you are looking at is an artifact of untold value. It is the original handwritten script to Kat Killer, the very first Danman Production. All over it are the scribbles, revisions, and doodles of yours truly. From whence did this veritable Shroud of Turin come? From a cardboard box in an Iowa basement, where I conducted (one last time) the final, ultimate search for all surviving movie materials. What I found - in both quantity and quality - will shock you.

First, let's take a closer look at this seminal screenplay.

Even as a teen I had an innate sense of drama. Look at the first three words I ever wrote: "Guy walks in." Guy? What guy? Walks? Walks how? In? Into where? So many delicious mysteries to be solved! Kat Killer was just one of the many scripts, notes, tapes, and figments of esoterica that I uncovered. Like the explorer who first disturbed the fetid air of King Tut's tomb and glimpsed that first gleam of gold, here is what mine eyes did see:

The Francis Ford Iowa project has been a nostalgia trip of epic distance, but up until this point my memories had been reliant on the finished films themselves - there was no scrap of behind-the-scenes matter. Suddenly, I was faced with the ample evidence of my hurried tomfoolery, my hasty compromises, and my dependence upon a certain exclamation:

Not a single script I found didn't have someone screaming "Noooooooooo!!!!!!" at some point (if not multiple points). For example, there were several such wails of protest in Misery. Oddly enough, the script itself was titled Misery II. It was my first remake, so I must have toyed with the idea of considering my movies as sequels rather than copies. Anyway, note the "Noooo!!"

Even more incredible is the promotional material that survived. I've already shared t

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13. Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part I

Danman Productions was dead. Long live Danman Productions!


[Note: first 7 minutes has a bad echo--fight through it!]

It was three years later when I found myself in a college class called Video Art. If the title doesn't tip you off, it was the kind of class that would enrage any tuition-paying parental unit. Situated in a basement within a decrepit building about three miles off campus, the class was about as underground as education gets in a major state university.



Not many film students knew about Video Art (and the A grades they handed out like candy), so it was mostly populated with performance artists who made blurry videos involving copious nudity and/or menstrual blood and/or feces. Bored to tears one day while watching an "art film" about fisting, I had a revelation: Danman Productions! Mockumentary! Interviews with my old buddies! No fisting! Just fun!



Taking the approach that Danman Productions was "the most controversial, cutting-edge production company in the industry's history," this Behind the Music-style doc traces the studio's rise from avant-garde outsider to household name to tabloid fodder. An uncredited (and English-accented) Matt K serves as the narrator, while nearly every Danman player shows up to take sides on the enigma that was Dan: brilliant visionary or drug-addled despot? (Yes, I make an appearance, too, offering up fatuous proclamations like: "Fear was about Vietnam.")



The ongoing thread detailing the feud between Shad and Joe is pretty funny. Also funny is Mike, supposedly driven to an obsession with monkeys by the lunacy of The Bastard Chicken Clock from Hell

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14. Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part I

Danman Productions was dead. Long live Danman Productions!


[Note: first 7 minutes has a bad echo--fight through it!]

It was three years later when I found myself in a college class called Video Art. If the title doesn't tip you off, it was the kind of class that would enrage any tuition-paying parental unit. Situated in a basement within a decrepit building about three miles off campus, the class was about as underground as education gets in a major state university.



Not many film students knew about Video Art (and the A grades they handed out like candy), so it was mostly populated with performance artists who made blurry videos involving copious nudity and/or menstrual blood and/or feces. Bored to tears one day while watching an "art film" about fisting, I had a revelation: Danman Productions! Mockumentary! Interviews with my old buddies! No fisting! Just fun!



Taking the approach that Danman Productions was "the most controversial, cutting-edge production company in the industry's history," this Behind the Music-style doc traces the studio's rise from avant-garde outsider to household name to tabloid fodder. An uncredited (and English-accented) Matt K serves as the narrator, while nearly every Danman player shows up to take sides on the enigma that was Dan: brilliant visionary or drug-addled despot? (Yes, I make an appearance, too, offering up fatuous proclamations like: "Fear was about Vietnam.")



The ongoing thread detailing the feud between Shad and Joe is pretty funny. Also funny is Mike, supposedly driven to an obsession with monkeys by the lunacy of The Bastard Chicken Clock from Hell

0 Comments on Sex, Drugs, & Film: The Rise and Fall of Danman Productions - Part I as of 1/1/1900
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15. The Danny Awards!

When I posted about aborted projects, I forgot The Danny Awards. They were to be Danman's answer to the Oscars, complete with clips of the nominated films, shots of my actors crossing their fingers and looking tense, and, of course, bloated and tearful acceptance speeches. It was pretty much impossible to pull off without editing equipment, so the idea died.

Tonight, I bring it back to life. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to...

THE DANNIES!!!

Who's that good-looking fella in the tux? Why, it's me, your host!

It's my privilege to finally be able to honor the very best of the very worst. The four awards I'll be presenting tonight are:
  • Most-Deaths Award (aka "The Corn Syrup Award")
  • Danman MVP (aka "The I-Was-Just-Always-There Award")
  • Best Worst Actor
  • Best Worst Film
No extended opening musical number here. These actors have waited long enough for their overdue recognition--so let's get this show started!


MOST DEATHS AWARD
It took me a long time--a very long time, you have no idea what I've gone through--to tally up every death scene in Danman Productions. When I finished scorekeeping, I discovered a shocking three-way dead heat between myself, Joe, and Jami, with eight deaths each. So who deserves the award?

Not me. I often killed myself off early so that I could spend my time running the camera (witness my hasty demise in such films as Night of the Living Dead and The Blob). And Joe? As my most persistent leading man, Joe's death-count was but a statistical residue.

Therefore, the award goes to... Jami!

With an atypical amount of enthusiasm from the director (and pints of my sticky blood substitute), Jami got strangled, stabbed, and shot (repeatedly). Plus, he complained about it a lot, someth

4 Comments on The Danny Awards!, last added: 2/19/2010
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16. The Danny Awards!

When I posted about aborted projects, I forgot The Danny Awards. They were to be Danman's answer to the Oscars, complete with clips of the nominated films, shots of my actors crossing their fingers and looking tense, and, of course, bloated and tearful acceptance speeches. (See the original handwritten list of nominees here!) It was pretty much impossible to pull off without editing equipment, so the idea died.

Tonight, I bring it back to life. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to...

THE DANNIES!!!

Who's that good-looking fella in the tux? Why, it's me, your host!

It's my privilege to finally be able to honor the very best of the very worst. The four awards I'll be presenting tonight are:
  • Most-Deaths Award (aka "The Corn Syrup Award")
  • Danman MVP (aka "The I-Was-Just-Always-There Award")
  • Best Worst Actor
  • Best Worst Film
No extended opening musical number here. These actors have waited long enough for their overdue recognition--so let's get this show started!


MOST DEATHS AWARD
It took me a long time--a very long time, you have no idea what I've gone through--to tally up every death scene in Danman Productions. When I finished scorekeeping, I discovered a shocking three-way dead heat between myself, Joe, and Jami, with eight deaths each. So who deserves the award?

Not me. I often killed myself off early so that I could spend my time running the camera (witness my hasty demise in such films as Night of the Living Dead and The Blob). And Joe? As my most persistent leading man, Joe's death-count was but a statistical residue.

Therefore, the award goes to... Jami!

With an atypical amount of enthusiasm from the director (and pints of my sticky blood substitute), Jami got strangled, stabbed, and shot

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17. The Godfathers: Part Two

At long last, here it is. The final Danman Production.



Originally, this epic sequel clocked in at 2 hours and 40 minutes. Neither you, I, nor the internet had any interest in uploading that much crap, much less watching it. So I decided to recreate the so-called “Director’s Cut” that vanished circa 1998. By simply tightening, trimming, and reordering, I have eliminated 90 minutes.



You read that right. The version here is 70 minutes long and it breaks my heart. When I set out to shoot a feature-length film at the age of 18, this was how it was supposed to look. When I screened it for my stupefied friends, this was the movie I saw. It’s been 16 years, but The Godfathers: Part Two is finally done.



Although the first 30 minutes are too concerned with which gangsters are on which team, the rest of it is somewhat of a revelation. The torture scene, the seduction scene, the Russian Roulette scene, that blood-soaked finale—I’ll just say it. The kid behind the camera was starting to get it.

But it was too late: college had arrived. Like most of my friends, I packed my bags and a day later found myself sitting alone in an unfamiliar dorm room. I could sense it in the frat-house screams coming from across the street and the laughter booming through the wall: I was no longer the big fish. I was something much, much smaller.



The Godfathers: Part Two was my attempt to hold on. If I could keep Danman Productions together, then I still had a tether on my old life. I organized the script around which friends I had access to at college and which friends I could meet back in my hometown on holidays and weekends. It was massively complicated and I threw myself into it. The more elaborate the task, the less time I had to recognize that something big was ending.

19 Comments on The Godfathers: Part Two, last added: 2/3/2010
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18. The Godfathers: Part Two

At long last, here it is. The final Danman Production.



(Watch or embed the full YouTube playlist.)


Originally, this epic sequel clocked in at 2 hours and 40 minutes. Neither you, I, nor the internet had any interest in uploading that much crap, much less watching it. So I decided to recreate the so-called “Director’s Cut” that vanished circa 1998. By simply tightening, trimming, and reordering, I have eliminated 90 minutes.



You read that right. The version here is 70 minutes long and it breaks my heart. When I set out to shoot a feature-length film at the age of 18, this was how it was supposed to look. When I screened it for my stupefied friends, this was the movie I saw. It’s been 16 years, but The Godfathers: Part Two is finally done.



Although the first 30 minutes are too concerned with which gangsters are on which team, the rest of it is somewhat of a revelation. The torture scene, the seduction scene, the Russian Roulette scene, that blood-soaked finale—I’ll just say it. The kid behind the camera was starting to get it.

But it was too late: college had arrived. Like most of my friends, I packed my bags and a day later found myself sitting alone in an unfamiliar dorm room. I could sense it in the frat-house screams coming from across the street and the laughter booming through the wall: I was no longer the big fish. I was something much, much smaller.



The Godfathers: Part Two was my attempt to hold on. If I could keep Danman Productions together, then I still had a tether on my old life. I organized the script around which friends I had access to at college and which friends I could meet back in my hometown on holidays and weekends. It was massively complicated and I threw myself into it. The more elaborate the task, the less time I had to recognize that something big was ending.

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19. Coming Soon: The Godfathers Part Two

The Godfathers: Part Two was so big, it required hype. Above is the sole existing copy of the promotional artwork drawn by Matt K. As you can see, I began to gather the signatures of all the cast members during shooting but never finished. I hope to remedy that one day.

Okay. Prepare yourselves. Here it comes.

7 Comments on Coming Soon: The Godfathers Part Two, last added: 1/13/2010
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20. Coming Soon: The Godfathers Part Two

The Godfathers: Part Two was so big, it required hype. Above is the sole existing copy of the promotional artwork drawn by Matt K. As you can see, I began to gather the signatures of all the cast members during shooting but never finished. I hope to remedy that one day.

Okay. Prepare yourselves. Here it comes.

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21. Dirt 2



What can one say about perfection? I choose to say nothing.

3 Comments on Dirt 2, last added: 1/7/2010
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22. Dirt 2



What can one say about perfection? I choose to say nothing.

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23. Chuckles the Clown





You can feel the panic in these final few videos. College was probably only weeks away. Friends were departing. There was hardly anyone left to put in front of the camera. The result was improvisational garbage like this that was more about my need to keep the tape rolling than it was anything else. The sole impetus for this was that I had come into possession of a clown outfit. (What, such things never happened to you?)

I just deleted a bunch of text about how bad this movie is and I'll tell you why. Yeah, sure, this is one painful flick. My accent is something that should be hunted down and killed. I barely knew what a documentary was, much less a mockumentary. But at the end of the day, this was probably the only Danman Production that revolved around a character rather than a plot of irretrievable complexity. Good effort, me.

This was prized in Danman lore for one reason: that basketball shot. Holy crap. I was supposed to miss. Yet somehow I sunk it. Jami's still smarting from it, I guarantee you.

2 Comments on Chuckles the Clown, last added: 12/30/2009
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24. Chuckles the Clown





You can feel the panic in these final few videos. College was probably only weeks away. Friends were departing. There was hardly anyone left to put in front of the camera. The result was improvisational garbage like this that was more about my need to keep the tape rolling than it was anything else. The sole impetus for this was that I had come into possession of a clown outfit. (What, such things never happened to you?)

I just deleted a bunch of text about how bad this movie is and I'll tell you why. Yeah, sure, this is one painful flick. My accent is something that should be hunted down and killed. I barely knew what a documentary was, much less a mockumentary. But at the end of the day, this was probably the only Danman Production that revolved around a character rather than a plot of irretrievable complexity. Good effort, me.

This was prized in Danman lore for one reason: that basketball shot. Holy crap. I was supposed to miss. Yet somehow I sunk it. Jami's still smarting from it, I guarantee you.

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25. Merry Christmas


During the latter days of Danman Productions, I was a subscriber to Movieline. There wasn't much in the way of video stores in my town, and it fell to this mag to open up to me the world of cinema. It was where I first heard of Quentin Tarantino, for example, which then led to Harvest of Wrath. An unfortunate chain of events, I realize, but still.

So it is with some sense of wonder that I report that Movieline has named my movie Musician one of the "7 Masterpieces of the '00s You've Likely Never Seen." Thanks for the Christmas gift, Movieline. You've made that nerdy teen dorking around with his video camera back in the 1990s very happy.

1 Comments on Merry Christmas, last added: 12/26/2009
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