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(from Unexpectedly Bart!)

Got a second? Then read this, my favorite story of the year. 12/28/2016
I wonder — how funky is their chicken? 12/27/2016
That's one way to keep the pets away from the tree... 12/24/2016
Nothing is better than a good book for Christmas! 12/23/2016
Someone is NOT excited about reading. 12/21/2016
Did I ever mention t hat I think this is the perfect tweet? 12/21/2016
The Worst Treehouses of Portland 12/20/2016
WARNING 12/18/2016
Wikipedia's "high five" entry has a section for "down low, too slow" 12/15/2016
Pun Day! 12/15/2016
These guys are freaking me out. 12/13/2016
That's helpful. I'll set aside some time. 12/12/2016
If I had a band, I'd name it Pug 360. 12/9/2016
So what're YOU doing today? Huh? Huh? 12/8/2016
Ancient history is amazing! 12/8/2016
I am EXACTLY this good at doing skateboard tricks! 12/3/2016
Hummingbirds look weird when they finally slow down. 12/1/2016
Be careful what you ask for. 11/30/2016
Librarians at Concordia University (Edmonton) like to reflect on things. 11/29/2016
*NOTHING* is better than learning that a reader enjoyed one of my books! 11/28/2016
I guess I have to deactivate my Twitter account now... 11/27/2016
R U READY FOR THE WEEKEND????? 11/25/2016
Yiddish is the language for me! 11/25/2016
What I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving 11/24/2016
NEWSFLASH: I am really bad at making conversation 11/23/2016

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“Unexpectedly Bart!” takes a comedic spin through current events and history, with detours for the odd, the droll, and the literary. Written by bestselling humor author Bart King, “Unexpectedly Bart!” was voted the Most Benevolent Blog of the 21st Century in 1993.

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1. Got a second? Then read this, my favorite story of the year.

By: Bart King, on 12/28/2016
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It's a letter to the editor of the New York Times book review section:

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2. I wonder — how funky is their chicken?

By: Bart King, on 12/27/2016
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3. That's one way to keep the pets away from the tree...

By: Bart King, on 12/24/2016
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Happy holidays, everyone! (Via.)

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4. Nothing is better than a good book for Christmas!

By: Bart King, on 12/23/2016
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5. Someone is NOT excited about reading.

By: Bart King, on 12/21/2016
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6. Did I ever mention t hat I think this is the perfect tweet?

By: Bart King, on 12/21/2016
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7. The Worst Treehouses of Portland

By: Bart King, on 12/20/2016
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C'mon, people! You're not even TRYING.

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By: Bart King, on 12/18/2016
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It's still pretty cold out there.

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9. Wikipedia's "high five" entry has a section for "down low, too slow"

By: Bart King, on 12/15/2016
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With finger-guns!

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By: Bart King, on 12/15/2016
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"So you're saying my salivary glands are over-producing?" I gushed.

Naming a restaurant "Shenanigans" doesn't send a very reassuring message about food quality.

——————————

Doctor: Your days are numbered.

OCD patient: Cool!

——————————

I can't find a trustworthy illustrator for my new book—they're all way too sketchy.

——————————

At the Pigment Factory:

"Did you throw away the old indigo?"

"Yes. The dye has been cast."

——————————

When I open my food cart, it'll be called Haute Dogs—and the buns will be strictly upper crust.

——————————

"So this app connects you instantly with an actress who can play your grandmother for social events."

"What’s it called?"

"InstaGram."

——————————

You never know what's going on inside someone else . . . with the exception of the time you spend in utero.

——————————

TEACHER: Kids, we're going to break down their classroom door then DESTROY that homeroom!

FIRST GRADER: "But isn't that class warfare?"

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11. These guys are freaking me out.

By: Bart King, on 12/13/2016
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12. That's helpful. I'll set aside some time.

By: Bart King, on 12/12/2016
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13. If I had a band, I'd name it Pug 360.

By: Bart King, on 12/9/2016
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14. So what're YOU doing today? Huh? Huh?

By: Bart King, on 12/8/2016
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15. Ancient history is amazing!

By: Bart King, on 12/8/2016
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16. I am EXACTLY this good at doing skateboard tricks!

By: Bart King, on 12/3/2016
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17. Hummingbirds look weird when they finally slow down.

By: Bart King, on 12/1/2016
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18. Be careful what you ask for.

By: Bart King, on 11/30/2016
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After all, the Oldham Council members never guessed they'd get a suggestion that was so brilliant, it would change their lives forever!

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19. Librarians at Concordia University (Edmonton) like to reflect on things.

By: Bart King, on 11/29/2016
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20. *NOTHING* is better than learning that a reader enjoyed one of my books!

By: Bart King, on 11/28/2016
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THANK YOU, ROSALIA!!

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21. I guess I have to deactivate my Twitter account now...

By: Bart King, on 11/27/2016
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My hands are for one thing only: playing sax pic.twitter.com/ncuJJUBBAg
— Kenny G (@kennyg) November 26, 2016

Because THIS is the ultimate tweet!

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22. R U READY FOR THE WEEKEND?????

By: Bart King, on 11/25/2016
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I didn't think so.

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23. Yiddish is the language for me!

By: Bart King, on 11/25/2016
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Provenance unknown.

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24. What I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving

By: Bart King, on 11/24/2016
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Today, I’m thankful for professional journalists. I’m thankful for the New York Times. I’m thankful for fact-checkers and scientists. They’re going to be more important than ever for the next four years.

I’m also grateful to my parents, who subscribed to two daily newspapers when I was a kid. I ended up doing a “compare-and-contrast” on news coverage almost unthinkingly. ("Ooh, this comic page reflects the editorial board's values!" 😀)

Finally, I appreciate everyone who understands its their civic duty to:

 a.) PAY ATTENTION 

b.) subscribe to a good newspaper or support journalism in an active way. 

Below are some of my favorite news sources; feel free to share yours.

• The Washington Post
• National Public Radio
• ProPublica
• PBS: NewsHour
• PBS: Frontline
• FactCheck.org• Mother Jones
• Taegan Goddard's Political Wire
• Public Radio International
• FiveThirtyEight
• Vox
• Salon and Slate
• The New Yorker
• The Atlantic
• The Telegraph
• BBC News
• The Guardian
• The Independent
• The Globe and Mail
• Der Spiegel

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25. NEWSFLASH: I am really bad at making conversation

By: Bart King, on 11/23/2016
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Anyone who works with the public develops the ability of making lightweight conversation. My skills in this regard were called upon at last weekend’s Wild Arts festival.

A woman stopped by my table and chuckled over the Mischief book. Intuition told me she was a teacher, so I asked if that was the case.

“How did you know?” she replied. “I’m a counselor.”

“Oh, I’m pretty immature, so I can spot these things. Are you a school counselor?”

“Yes! Sort of.”

“What grade or age kids do you work with?”

“Teenagers who are 18 or 19.”

“Oh, young adults! I can only imagine the kinds of problems mature people like that might have.”

“I’m a drug and alcohol counselor.”

“Ah.” Pause. We avoid eye contact. “Now I can imagine it.”

Mercifully, she left shortly afterwards. But please don’t worry, it wasn’t awkward at all.

(EDITORIAL CORRECTION: It was hideously awkward.)

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