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In CasE You Missed iT ThE FirsT TimE...




Several lakes surrounded the University campus where I went to school years ago; and the ducks owned the lakes, so they politely flapped, waddled, and quacked behind whoever had a class near their pond. -It was just one of those things in life you have to learn the hard way-

You see, the ducks considered the students who tried to sneak across campus near their home, because they were late for class, as trespassing upon their private property, -and as we all know there are consciences for rude behavior in the duck world, much like breaking the law in all societies.  Anyway, I'm sure you know what legal tender is in a ducks world- Food-     

We could hear duck wings flapping, and a chorus of quaking, before we opened our eyes each morning, including week-ends. Maybe Roosters were born to wake up farmers, and Ducks were born to wake up students- Who knows? 

Anyway, most of the ducks I knew were polite, and easy to deal with, but this educated group of ducks were different; they were were loud and aggressive, especially if you didn't pay your right of passage.  So, the best thing to do was leave the house prepared to feed them, and never, ever interrupt their breakfast. (The most important meal of the day.)

Some students believed that the ducks knew which students were going to feed them, much like a waiter knows a good tipper, so they would immediately start attacking the students who didn't have food, and peacefully surrounded the ones with a bread bag. Incidentally, most students left their house each day with their books, and a bag of bread for the ducks.

But, sometimes it was hard to remember duck rules early every morning, therefore, on occasion a student would forget to bring the ducks food. Thus, it just so happened that one students memory lapse, provided a Daddy Duck with the opportunity to teach the rest of us a valuable lesson.




In addition to entertaining the campus with the funniest thing most of us ever witnessed in public; this Daddy Duck reminded us to never, ever interfere or step on his property without his families breakfast.

Which brings me to a particular morning in question. I was sitting by one of the University lakes reading, when I overheard a couple arguing in front of a pair of ducks. The voices of the arguing couple and the gander's squawking sounded like an aggressive duck fight; and one loud enough to crack the eardrum of an elephant. 

I felt sorry for the ducks, because this duck family wasn't bothering anyone until the couple came along. They were minding their own business, trying to feed their ducklings breakfast and I suppose send them to duckling school, when these people showed up and disturbed their morning.

Therefore, it was completely understanding why the daddy duck got his feathers in a  over the human couples apparent rudeness and quickly charged in their direction.

When he approached the couple the man realized he was being challenged, so he put his hands in the air as if giving himself up for arrest, but Mr. Gander wasn't having it, and continued to advance upon the guy.

Everyone around the lake, including me, started laughing as this poor man kept shouting for help and backing away from his attacker. While the rest of the duck family squawked, the guy shouted and raised his fists as if demanding a fair fight from the creature, who continued his advance until he chased the guy down the sidewalk. -It was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my tender years, or at least, that's what I thought-

Then, later that afternoon, the weirdest thing happened, I was sitting in a boring history class, reading a novel, when I heard squawking again, only this time, I was in a classroom, so the honking, feather flapping argument, must have sounded like rocket fire in the hallway.

The classroom had three hundred theater style seats and two double doors at the entrance, so the students, including me, sitting in the seats near the entrance, could hear someone outside shouting, "Let go of me, ouch, let go of me," followed by more squawking and honking, until the double doors to the classroom blasted open, and in came the same man running from the same duck I saw that morning.
 
I was astonished- How as htis possible? Had this poor fellow been battling this duck all day? Then,  instead of rescuing their fellow student, everyone began climbing to the top seats to get away from the dangerous creature; who was doing his best to run with his head low enough to nip the man's heels and balance his wings at the same time. -The duck resembled a small airplane coming in for a landing-

The man ran up the row of seats with the daddy duck in hot pursuit nipping at his ankles... while students were shouting, "Did you forget to give him bread?"

Finally, someone latched onto both man and duck, and the situation came to a screeching, honking, feather flying halt, leaving an entire classroom of students laughing hysterically.

This daddy ducks behavior that morning was one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned without having to pay a penny or endure a consequence.

And the lesson was; there are strict rules when it comes to ducks; you should always bring bread, and never, ever interrupt a Daddy ducks, breakfast, lunch, or dinner. 


Thank -you for reading such a long post, it is one of those stories you cannot edit much. If you had time to read through it, I hope you enjoyed it, and I sincerely appreciate it. And for those of you who have read this before, please forgive me. My computer died on me...so it took me awhile to get another one, I am writing new material. 

I would also like to thank and dedicate this post to Sandee, at Comedy Plus, who redesigned my original template from 2007, which totally amazes me, to my brother, Stuart Clemmmons, and Ray Waters without which I would be out of business. I would have never dreamed I would actually meet anyone who reminds me of my blog motto written by Ralph Waldo Emerson, but these people proved me wrong. It was one of those poetic moments I will never forget.

In CasE You Missed iT ThE FirsT TimE...



Several lakes surrounded the university campus where I went to school years ago; hence, ducks usually walked students to class hoping we would share our breakfast. We could hear their wings flapping and a chorus of ducks quaking before we lifted our heads off of the pillow each morning, including week-ends. I suppose Roosters were born to wake up farmers, and Ducks are here to wake up students, entertain children and adults, and swim. However, there are strict rules when it comes to ducks; you always bring bread, and you never, ever interrupt their breakfast.

Most ducks are polite and easy to live with, but these university ducks were different; they were were loud and aggressive, especially if you didn't offer them something to eat. And most students believed the ducks knew which students were going to fed them, much like a waiter knows a good tipper. Incidentally, the ducks rush toward the best bread dropper with as much vigor, as a waitress to the table of a good tipper. Therefore, every morning most of us left with the ducks daily breakfast, or I did anyway.

It was hard to remember the rules about ducks early every morning, especially with everything else we had on our minds, but one morning a Daddy duck provided us students with a valuable lesson. In addition to entertaining the campus with the funniest thing most of us ever witnessed in public; a daddy duck reminded us to never ever interfere with a ducks breakfast.

On the morning in question, I was sitting by one of the University lakes reading, when I overheard a couple arguing in front of a pair of ducks. The voices of the arguing couple and the gander's squawking sounded like an aggressive duck fight; and one loud enough to wake every creature within miles.

I felt sorry for the ducks, because this duck family wasn't bothering anyone until the couple came along. They were minding their own business, trying to feed their ducklings breakfast and I suppose send them to duckling school, when these people showed up and disturbed their morning. Hence, it's easy to understand why the daddy duck got his feathers in a ruffle over the human couples apparent rudeness and quickly charged in their direction.

When he approached the couple the man realized he was being challenged, so he put his hands in the air as if giving himself up for arrest, but Mr. Gander wasn't having it, and continued to advance upon the guy.

Everyone around the lake, including me, started laughing as this poor man kept shouting for help and backing away from his attacker. While the rest of the duck family squawked, the guy shouted and raised his fists as if demanding a fair fight from the creature, who continued his advance until he chased the guy down the sidewalk. It was the funniest thing I've ever witnessed, so funny that the memory makes me laugh today.



Then, as if that wasn't enough entertainment for the day; later that afternoon when I was in another class in the same building, I heard squawking again, only this time I was inside a classroom.

The classroom had three hundred theater style seats and two double doors at the entrance, so the students sitting in the seats near the entrance could hear someone outside shouting, "Let go of me, ouch, let go of me," followed by more squawking and honking, until the double doors to the classroom blasted open, and in comes a man running from the same duck I saw that morning.

Then, instead of rescuing their fellow student, everyone began climbing to the top seats to get away from the dangerous creature; who was doing his best to run with his head low enough to nip the man on his heels and balance his wings without tipping over - he resembled a small airplane preparing to land on the runway.

The man ran up the row of seats with the daddy duck in hot pursuit nipping at his ankles... while students were shouting, "Did you forget to give him bread?"

Finally someone latched onto both man and duck and the situation came to a screeching, honking, feather flying halt, leaving an entire classroom of students laughing hysterically.

This daddy ducks behavior that morning was one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned without having to endure stiff consequences.

And the lesson was; there are strict rules when it comes to ducks; you always bring bread, and you never, ever interrupt their breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

TEXT Posted by Ann Clemmons