What is JacketFlap

  • JacketFlap connects you to the work of more than 200,000 authors, illustrators, publishers and other creators of books for Children and Young Adults. The site is updated daily with information about every book, author, illustrator, and publisher in the children's / young adult book industry. Members include published authors and illustrators, librarians, agents, editors, publicists, booksellers, publishers and fans.
    Join now (it's free).

Sort Blog Posts

Sort Posts by:

  • in
    from   

Suggest a Blog

Enter a Blog's Feed URL below and click Submit:

Most Commented Posts

In the past 7 days

Recent Comments

Recently Viewed

JacketFlap Sponsors

Spread the word about books.
Put this Widget on your blog!
  • Powered by JacketFlap.com

Are you a book Publisher?
Learn about Widgets now!

Advertise on JacketFlap

MyJacketFlap Blogs

  • Login or Register for free to create your own customized page of blog posts from your favorite blogs. You can also add blogs by clicking the "Add to MyJacketFlap" links next to the blog name in each post.

Blog Posts by Tag

In the past 7 days

Blog Posts by Date

Click days in this calendar to see posts by day or month
new posts in all blogs
Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: funny poems, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 15 of 15
1. 49-Second Poetry Prompt Guaranteed to Change Your Writing

.
Howdy, Campers--Happy New Year and Happy Poetry Friday! Today's host and my (very odd) poem are below.

To start the new year--and we hope yours is copacetic thus far--we, at the brand-ndew corporate headquarters of TeachingAuthors, will each be offering a book, a tip, a tool--something which helps us read / write /create. 

The new corporate offices of TeachingAuthors.com
Ready? Hang on for the wild ride (or better: a wild write): Esther started us off in her post telling us about Shaun Levin's Writing Map, MY WRITING LIFE. Fascinating concept, sure to set your teeth on fire.

Today, it's my turn. As regular readers know, I've been an instructor in UCLA Extenstion Writers' Program since the invention of goat cheese. Recently, UCLA Extension Writers' Program invited its instructors to offer a writing tip in under one minute. The videos that have been filmed so far can be viewed here; more will be added as they're filmed, including mine--coming soon.

What's so cool about these is that when you're feeling parched, dried-out, and California-drought-ish, wondering what in heaven's name to write, or why the heck you think you can write, simply watch one of these babies and try the tip.

I especially like this 49-second tip by poet Rick Bursky. Could you do me a favor and watch it right now? Because what comes next assumes you've listened to him.

Okay--you've watched Rick? Thank you kindly.

So today's poem is the third draft of a poem inspired by his tip. It may not be for kids, it may not be much, but I was grabbing things from all over the internet and deep in the darkest corners of my brain, and man was it fun to write!

CHANGES
by April Halprin Wayland

Once upon a time, there was
a train came down the track faster than it was supposed to
its feet shoulder-width apart, 90 degrees to the target
but Froggy didn't feel like getting
a lawyer for Teresa Giudice, who was freed at 5 a.m. Wednesday.

Ah, changes!
Ah, the ghastly smell of salmon which spoils so quickly in the refrigerator!
Ah, Old Dresser Redo, DIY Cloud Pillows, Easy Floating Shelves.
How we each, in our own little worlds,
carrot and stick,
the atmosphere of Mars,
water overflowing sidewalks of Hermosa Beach,
how we each change the world.

It's raining again
and there are mouse parts all over the house.
What has been your lollipop moment?
Have you thanked that person?
And they lived happily
A New, Easier Method To Use A Printer For Ink Image Transfers!
ever after


poem (c) 2016 April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved.

TeachingAuthors hope our tips and tools will jump-start your writing year, Dear Reader. 

May this be your Year of Yes!

Watch for a related post on our Wednesday Writers' Workout on January 13th ~

Thank you, Tabatha, for hosting PF today at The Opposite of Indifference ~


posted by April Halprin Wayland with help from Eli, who was tearing up Mouse as I wrote the poem.
Eli swears he didn't do it

0 Comments on 49-Second Poetry Prompt Guaranteed to Change Your Writing as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
2. Fav Poetry Book 2015!

.
Howdy, Campers, and Happy Poetry Friday!  Buffy hosts today--her link is at the bottom.

The topic we TeachingAuthors are tossing around now? A favorite children's book we've read this year. Esther's weighed in with a touching picture book; I'm up to bat.

I almost went with the audio book of Madeleine L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time (read by the author!). This classic celebrated it's 50th anniversary three years ago, but it was in September, as I zoomed up the 405 freeway to pack up family memories, that I was transported by L'Engle's words...and her worlds.

But the book which electrified the poetry particles in my brain is Deborah Ruddell's inventive collection, The Popcorn Astronauts--And Other Biteable Rhymeswhimsically illustrated by Joan Rankin.


As soon as I read it, I searched for Ms. Ruddell on Facebook and (blush) sent her this fan mail:

Hi, Deborah! I just read The Popcorn Astronauts and I'm blown away by your oh-my-gosh-REALLY?? metaphors that are so out-of-the-box they leave me gasping. And inspired.  

Here's just a taste of how Ruddell sees at the world: fresh-popped kernels of corn are astronauts, a strawberry is royalty in a beaded suit, and raisins are wrinkled rocks with "the bold, enchanting taste of well-worn pirate socks." 

Raise your hand if you've ever struggled to describe peach skin. In fact, stop reading this and close your eyes. Try to imagine peach skin with fresh eyes. Can you describe it in a completely original way?


Okay--open your eyes..  Now, raise your hand if you came close to this"flannelpajamaty skin."

Here's a snippet of Jama Rattigan's fabulous book review and interview of Deborah Ruddell this spring:
Jama: Which poem was the most fun to write and why? Which poem was the hardest? Do you have a favorite?
Deborah: NO poem is ever easy for me to write. I am a slow and tormented poet! The hardest part is when I think I’ve almost got something, but it’s just out of reach. That happened with “Welcome to Watermelon Lake.” I had the image of the pink lake and the pale green shore, but making that image work as a poem was a struggle. Just when I thought I finally had it made, my editor suggested a third stanza in which I introduce the seeds! Argh!
Deborah's answer makes me feel better--I'm not alone!  And yet, look how effortlessly that poem seem to flow (click to enlarge):
In the same interview, Deborah said that the poet who most inspires her is Alice Shertle.  Me, too, me, too! 
So check out Poetry Friday at Buffy's today...then find this book and feast on it!
P.S: Check out the brand-new SCBWI Book Launch Parties!  Here's mineand here are 400+ more! 

posted joyously by April Halprin Wayland, with help from her elves, Monkey and Eli

0 Comments on Fav Poetry Book 2015! as of 12/4/2015 7:09:00 AM
Add a Comment
3. 3 Tips to Making a Living as a Writer & a Funny Story About Making Money as a Poet

.
Howdy, Campers ~ and Happy Poetry Friday!  My poem's below, as is the link to today's Poetry Friday round-up.

The topic we TeachingAuthors are knocking around this time is Making a Living as a Writer.

Carmela starts us off with a TeachingAuthors' Book Giveaway of the 2016 CWIM which includes two of her articles, once of which is aptly titled, Making a Living as a Writer; Esther addresses the many ways she's made writing pay...and other pay-offs that result, and our Wednesday Writing Workout, written by former TeachingAuthor Laura Purdie Salas, is titled Is Writing on Assignment Right for You?

So--what are my 3 Tips to Make a Living as a Writer?

1) Write a Classic.
2) Find a Secondary Occupation which actually pays.
3) Define Making a Living

(Hmm...maybe Define Making a Living should come first.)

from morguefile.com

And now for a story about making money as a poet.

I've sold poems to anthologies, testing services and magazines.  Between 1995 and 2011 I sold 30 poems to Carus Publishing Company (publisher of Cricket Magazine and many others). I'm going to brag here because it still makes me proud: in 2003 they asked me to write a poem for a progressive story in honor of the 30th anniversary of Cricket.

At the time, they paid $3 per line.

In 1997 I asked John D. Allen, my all-time favorite editor, if I might possibly be given a raise.

John's response: "As for $4.00 per line...well, I'm afraid we can't do that. Our policy is to keep the same pay scale for all poems.  Sorry. I hope that's not too much of a problem."

Okay, I wrote. Could you give me a free subscription to Cricket? My son was then eight years old.

He replied: "I wish I could offer you an author discount or a subscription credit against your sales, but I'm told I can't. We don't give out much of any discounts besides the early renewal one you checked on your form.  And shifting author payments toward subscriptions would create some sort of accountant's nightmare around here. (Actually, that's all a lie. I was told I could offer you any sort of discount I wanted, as long as the difference came out of my salary. So I thought, Well, I could make April's life a little easier, and it wouldn't cost me much--probably just the price of the cinnamon Pop-Tarts I was planning to buy for an afternoon snack. But then, well, one thing led to another, and to make a long story short, the Pop-Tarts were delicious.)

I loved working with John.  I loved seeing my poems in BabyBug, Ladybug, Spider and Cricket. I surrendered.  Sort of.

In 1998, I responded to his suggestion that I cut a repeated stanza from a poem he'd accepted:

"I'm so glad you like the poem, "Music Critic"! I have enclosed the poem as it reads without the repetition and also another version to see if there might be some way we could keep the repetition in the poem.  Do the new repeats make it any clearer for your readers? If not, I'd be glad to omit the second stanza. I do like the repetition and will probably re-insert it if it gets published again...but I also trust your judgment for your readers.

My husband Gary, who is a CPA (deep into Tax Season as I write this) asked me to ask you if you were going to pay me for the invisible stanza."



Here is the poem John critiqued--without the repetition:

MUSIC CRITIC
(THE OCEAN’S  OPINION)
by April Halprin Wayland

This guy drags his drum set onto the sand
so that I have a front row seat
takes off his jeans jacket
snaps his wide red suspenders
and lets loose:

he is in his space
sun is on his face
gulls in the air
clouds in his hair
                                                                                               
Go man, go! 
I clap against the shore,

rise up and give him a standing ovation 
More!

published in Cricket Magazine December 1999
© 2015 by April Halprin Wayland. Used with permission of the author, who controls all rights

This poem was subsequently awarded SCBWI's 1999 Magazine Merit Award for Poetry. (You're right, John!  I take it all back!)

*  *  *


If you haven't already done so, enter our latest Book Giveaway of the 2016 Children's Writer's & Illustrators Market

Now, click over to today's Poetry Friday on my juicy little universe ~ thanks for hosting, Heidi!

posted with love by April Halprin Wayland, who just got home after a beautiful and challenging six mile hike in Malibu followed by an electric car adventure (long story)

0 Comments on 3 Tips to Making a Living as a Writer & a Funny Story About Making Money as a Poet as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
4. Apps and Resources for Writers and POETRY FRIDAY!

.
Howdy, Campers and Happy Poetry Friday!

Thank you, Margaret, for hosting today
at Reflections on the Teche


I stress when I have a blog post to write on a favorite online writing resource and no time to write it.  Can you relate?  In that case, it's nice to have a caring blog-buddy name Carmela who has extra resources in her big floppy bag and tosses me one as I frantically run by.

 This is not Carmela Martino.

In the spirit of generous blogging, Carmela has handed me
20 Inspirational Apps and Online Resources for Writers.  How cool is that for a hot summer writing resource?

Yep, there are lots of great resources on that link.  However, may I express a nagging uneasiness about certain apps?  Based on several friends' recommendations, I downloaded Evernote, which is included in this list.  I was looking for a useful To Do List app and this apparently fits the bill.

What creeps me out was that in order to access this marvelous and free app, you have to allow it to access all of your contacts. 

ALL OF MY CONTACTS?  Evernote wants the phone number of my vet?  Of my dead podiatrist who I loved so much I cannot bring myself to delete from my phone?  Of Uncle Davie? 

 Uncle Davie and Eli.

Evernote wants/GETS all these precious people?

I couldn't do it.  I couldn't surrender my peeps for a free app.

PRIVATE
by April Halprin Wayland
I'm not openin'
my phone book 
to apps.
And I'm hopin'
your phone book
is snapped.
poem © 2013 April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved


Now I'm off to my critique group.  Wish me luck!  And if you find that one of these resources is particularly wonderful, please let us know...and remember to enter our contest to win a copy of our very own Jill Esbaum's newest book!  Click for all the dino details: Angry Birds Playground: Dinosaurs. You still have time--the contest ends June 18th!
Dive into your summer writing!

drawing © 2013 April Halprin Wayland. All rights reserved

April Halprin Wayland

9 Comments on Apps and Resources for Writers and POETRY FRIDAY!, last added: 6/18/2013
Display Comments Add a Comment
5. Revision! A LINGO poem! Poetry Friday! and a Play Doh exercise!

x

Howdy, Campers!  Happy Poetry Friday!
Poetry Friday is hosted by Secrets and Sharing Soda this week.
Thank you, Katie!

Our topic this week is REVISION, inspired by The International Reading Association (IRA)'s "Revision Week"--September 5-9, 2011.  Visit the IRA's Engage: Teacher to Teacher Blog this week to read/hear comments about revision from several well-known children's authors, including Cynthia Lord and Kate Messner.

We've written LOTS of posts on revision, because, of course, we're always revising.  ALWAYS.  Also, ALL WAYS.  

Oy.   12 Comments on Revision! A LINGO poem! Poetry Friday! and a Play Doh exercise!, last added: 9/10/2011
Display Comments Add a Comment
6. A Play Doh Poem for Poetry Friday (and a Play Doh writing exercise, too)

~
Howdy, Campers!  Happy Poetry Friday!
Poetry Friday is hosted by Karen Edmisten this week.
Thank you, Karen!

I was fiddling and with dactyls and double dactyls this week.  A dactyl contains three syllables: one stressed followed by two unstressed (/ - - ). So, for example, the word marmalade (MAR-ma-lade), which we say with a stress on the first syllable, is a dactylic word.  The phrase, "Talk to me!" is also a dactyl.

The rhythm of a dactyl makes you want to dance.  It's light and suits playful topics.

Dactyls remind me of pterodactyls.  But that's not where I went.  Instead, I took out a handy can of Play Doh and opened it. WOWZA!
photo from Morgue Files

I read a bit about Play Doh's inventor and history and then, in honor of National Play Doh Day, (September 18th), I wrote this poem:

AN ODE TO DOH
by April Halprin Wayland

Play Doh, invented by Joseph McVicker,
is putty that's squishy and spongy and soft
and supple and yielding and malleable colors--
its bouquet bewitches, it lingers, it wafts

across much of our planet--
over two billion sold!
There's even a fragrance (and who wouldn't want it?)
a perfume in honor (it's fifty years old!)

The recipe's classified--
water and flour, and a sprinkling of salt?
I can fiddle with Play Doh for hour after hour
and if I'm not writing, it's McVicker's fault!

poem (c) 2011 April Halprin Wayland, all rights reserved

Display Comments Add a Comment
7. Adding Flavor . . .Food Into Fiction

Happy Poetry Friday! 

A new poem and a Writing Workout are below. 

But first a brief commercial interruption. 

This is a gentle reminder about those goals you set for the New Year in conjunction with the contest to win my book, NEW YEAR AT THE PIER.   Remember that post?  Remember your goals? 

We’re expecting you to report back to us during the first two weeks in January.  If you didn't win the book last time, you'll have another chance in January when you report on your progress. How did you do? Who or what helped you? Who or what hindered you?

And now back to our regularly scheduled program.

I asked my nephew Josh, who’s a high school science teacher, how I could introduce this week’s topic of food and fiction.

“Well, you could have them write a poem in ketchup,” he said.  That’s Josh for you. (Wouldn’t you love to be in one of his science classes?)


Message written in ketchup

 And actually, that was a very good place to begin, because I’m quite comfortable writing in food.

The night before anyone in our family has a birthday, I sneak down to the kitchen and write “Happy Birthday” in raisins.  It’s tradition.  I mean, who wouldn’t want to wake up to a raisin birthday card, really?


You guessed it...raisins!

I told Josh this.  He said, “Then you could write a poem about what happens to it when the birds come.”

Wow. 

I thought about my best friend, author Bruce Balan who’s sailing around the world on a catamaran.  (To be specific, he just left the Minerva Reef - a ring of coral less than 3 miles across, 250 miles southwest of Tonga – heading 800 miles to New Zealand.)

And I wrote this poem:

BIRD DAY CARD
by April Halprin Wayland

You’re at sea.
I’m on land.

6 Comments on Adding Flavor . . .Food Into Fiction, last added: 12/3/2009
Display Comments Add a Comment
8. The Macaroni Necklace

Lynzie Anne Mc Kenzie was a very creative girl,
She made a macaroni necklace for her teacher Mrs. Pearl.
'It's the dumbest gift I've seen!' Laughed little Tony Maloney,
'Nobody wants a necklace made from macaroni! '
'Stupider than Jupiter' said Tony with a smirk.
But Lynzie just ignored him cause she knew he was a jerk.
Oh Mrs. Pearl just loved it and she wore it every day,
Then she bought a matching bracelet and earrings in late May.
Soon people came from miles around to buy what Lynzie made,
'A fashion craze invented by a girl in the first grade! '
She sold three to Oprah and after the show was done,
She sold one to Madonna to wear on VH1.
She sold a broach to The Queen and a pendant to Vanna White,
Who wore it as she waved and smiled on TV every night.
From Timbuktu to Waterloo from what I understand...
Folks bought oodles of her noodles, her work was in DEMAND!
Featured on the shopping channel they sold out the first day.
Lynzie Mc Kenzie started a frenzy; what else can I say?
'Stupider than Jupiter, ' Tony's words were dumb and reckless,
But Lynzie had the last laugh with her macaroni necklace!


From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre

See www.LouisianaBoy.com

0 Comments on The Macaroni Necklace as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
9. The Puckering Pickle Parade!

7/18/2008
From the Forthcoming book "The Puckering Pickle Parade: And Other Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre--- See www.LouisianaBoy.com

The Puckering Pickle Parade!

In a place called Pizanna,
Miss Lana-Leeanna
Makes a lip-locking lemonade!
But the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

A tart and tangy tango,
Marsh moon like a mango,
As vinegar vapors invade...
Boy, the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

So befriend and embellish,
Come garnish and relish,
The gherkins of Gooseberry Glade!
It's the pride and pure power,
(The sweet and the sour)
Of the Puckering Pickle Parade!

The Puckering Pickle Parade...
The Puckering Pickle Parade...
Pulp times are had... Dill friends are made...
At the Puckering Pickle...
Pick three for a nickel...

The Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

When it's one-fourteen in the shade...
Oh the bittersweet bounty
Of Cucumber County
Is the Puckering Pickle Parade!!!

0 Comments on The Puckering Pickle Parade! as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
10. A Piece of Sky




From the book "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" by Todd St. Pierre.


A Piece of Sky

No one can own a color; no one can own a cloud.
No one on Earth could ever, I'm glad it's not allowed!
No person owns a person, though some may think they do.
No person owns the ocean; I know this to be true !
I cannot own a sparrow, I cannot own a tree.
Even in my own backyard they don't belong to me!
No one can own the starlight; no one can own the sun.
No person owns a river, it simply can't be done!
No one can own a desert, the planets or their moons.
We’re all just One Race: Human, same words with many tunes!
No one may claim ownership to TEAR or SMILE or SIGH!
Or take away your DREAMS so...

let's share a piece of sky!

0 Comments on A Piece of Sky as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
11. PEACH FUZZ

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Performance Poetry4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre

Click Image to Enlarge (For Better Viewing!)

0 Comments on PEACH FUZZ as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
12. GROUNDED!

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids." By Todd St. Pierre

GROUNDED!

(Try sounding like your Dad as you perform this one!)

I saw the report card you brought home from work!
Punished! You're punished! You drive me berserk!
No Internet surfing! Here's my decision...
No cell phone use and no television!

Just go to your room and don't make me shout!
Go straight to your room and do not come out!
No car for a month, so give me the key!
Stop pouting this instant! I'm counting to three!

Don't disobey me! Why must you be bad?
Why can't you just be a good little Dad?
Grounded! You're grounded! You know what you did!

Hey, how does it feel, Dad, being the kid???


---It's fun to imagine trading places!---



0 Comments on GROUNDED! as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
13. Pulling Habits Out of Rats

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids"
By Todd St. Pierre.



Pulling Habits Out of Rats

I’m no genie or Houdini,
I’m The Famous Rob Kabob.
Hocus-pocus I must focus,
I must think to do my job.
First I get in this position,
While the rat sits very still.
I’m part Shrink and part Magician,
And it takes a secret skill.
People ask, "Rob what’s your job?"
But they figure I am joking,
When I tell them I help rats
To stop drinking and stop smoking.
Some rats are such nail-biters,
Still others tend to overeat.
I wave my magic wand 3 times,
And PRESTO my work is complete.
I no longer miss my old job,
Pulling RABBITS out of HATS.
I’m The Famous Rob Kabob,
I pull HABITS out of RATS!


www.AuthorsDen.com/Todd

www.JacketFlap.com/BookChild

www.MySpace.com/TMSP

www.LouisianaBoy.com

0 Comments on Pulling Habits Out of Rats as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
14. Praying Mantis Pray for Prey: Actual-Factual Poems4Kids

From "A Woolly Mammoth on Amelia Street: Read Aloud Poems4Kids" By Todd St. Pierre.

Click Image to Enlarge (for better reading)

0 Comments on Praying Mantis Pray for Prey: Actual-Factual Poems4Kids as of 1/1/1900
Add a Comment
15. By Appoinment Only

Middle management make-overs by appointment only. A modern day Pygmalion.

0 Comments on By Appoinment Only as of 1/1/1990
Add a Comment