"Cat Poo Cookies"I received a plate of these from someone who shall remain anonymous. A whole plate full! On a doily with tinsel even.
Now I ask you ~ does this look like cat poo, or does this look like cat poo? You be the judge.
(I happen to know they're actually chocolate and butterscotch and corn flakes, but if you didn't know...)
Here are some tips for the holidays, free to you my faithful readers:
Before you make that roaring holiday fire, be sure the damper is open in the chimney.
I will say that again. BE SURE THE DAMPER IS OPEN.
Because if it isn't, you will get a house full of smoke, and your smoke alarm will go off REALLY REALLY LOUD and scare the bejesus out of everyone, and you will be running back and forth trying to decide whether to throw water on the fire (which makes more smoke, who knew?), or get the ladder so you can reach the smoke alarm and yank the bloody batteries out to make it shut up, or open the door to let the smoke out, while cats are running for cover with their paws over their ears, and you wonder if the neighbors have called the fire department because surely they can hear the alarm and oh god you hope they don't come because you're in your nightgown and its not pretty.
Also, you will have soot marks on the bricks to clean up afterwards (except they won't be kinda blurry like this.)
Now I ask you ~ does this look like cat poo, or does this look like cat poo? You be the judge.
(I happen to know they're actually chocolate and butterscotch and corn flakes, but if you didn't know...)
Here are some tips for the holidays, free to you my faithful readers:
Before you make that roaring holiday fire, be sure the damper is open in the chimney.
I will say that again. BE SURE THE DAMPER IS OPEN.
Because if it isn't, you will get a house full of smoke, and your smoke alarm will go off REALLY REALLY LOUD and scare the bejesus out of everyone, and you will be running back and forth trying to decide whether to throw water on the fire (which makes more smoke, who knew?), or get the ladder so you can reach the smoke alarm and yank the bloody batteries out to make it shut up, or open the door to let the smoke out, while cats are running for cover with their paws over their ears, and you wonder if the neighbors have called the fire department because surely they can hear the alarm and oh god you hope they don't come because you're in your nightgown and its not pretty.
Also, you will have soot marks on the bricks to clean up afterwards (except they won't be kinda blurry like this.)
Which brings me to my next tip ~
Don't lose the directions to your digital camera. If you do, after fiddling blindly with the controls and not having a clue what you're doing, you will end up with photos like this:
I swear to you, this is not photoshopped. I was trying to take a picture of the sooty bricks, and it gave me a message (which I've never seen before) that said "slow shutter" and it wouldn't take the picture, wouldn't take the picture, wouldn't take the picture, and then after about 20 seconds, with me moving the camera around, it finally "clicked" and this is what I got.
Its kinda cool, but don't ask me how I did it.
My other tip to you bakers is to not double a recipe that's already generous, because you will end up with way too many of whatever it is and unless you own a bakery or know a lot of people to give them away to, you will be saddled with enough peanut butter cookies to last until next Christmas.
This is what I have to show for my baking efforts. The aforesaid peanut butter cookies, real shortbread (all I have left are the 'edges' because I gave away all the 'inside' pieces), and killer chocolate cookies. The chocolate ones have pepper in them. I know! No, they don't taste like pepper. But they pack a whollop and are really like nothing I've ever tasted. They'd go well with a hearty Cabernet or just a plain glass of milk or a cup of strong coffee. Can you tell what my diet will be for the next few weeks? Gee, I hope Santa brings a Thighmaster.
And with that, I will leave you all for a few days of no blogging while I go eat cookies and "do" Christmas and enjoy peace and goodwill and hopefully smoke-free fires.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah and good cheer for whatever else you do or don't choose to celebrate, everyone!
6 Comments on Cookies and smoke, last added: 12/25/2008
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Who knew??
This is a very funny, jolly post, and I am laughing with you...oh...you aren't laughing?
Then I guess I'm laughing at you.
This is hilarious!
And I have *always* remembered to open the damper. Really. Always.
ahhhhahahahahah.
Please save some of the shortbread edges for me. I am an edge person.
And when you get a minute...hahahahahahahah...not running around closing dampers...hahahah... I would love a copy of the pepper cookie recipe.
Merry Christmas, Paula. :)
Hahaha! You are about a year too late with that advice! I did that last year...and yes I did pour water on the fire so I could close the damper! Wet ashes are a mess!
Your cookies look great. I've got some to share with you if you need any more!
Enjoy your Christmas Paula!
Fun post!
Merry Christmas, Paula! Enjoy your time with your family and friends.
You are special,
~Fannie
Looks like cat poo to me! I hope the soot didn't get onto everything else in the room like it did the bricks. Hey, a diet of cookies and decadent beverages, sounds good to me - it's Christmas after all... :-)
Have a wonderful holiday Paula and merry Christmas!
Wow - you've been industrious! That one about never lose the camera instructions - very wise!
Happy Christmas.
I've never heard of cat poo cookies.... but kitty litter cake is popular around here... and, believe it or not, it's yummy! Those cookies look so good I wish I could reach into the monitor and take one off the plate.