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Today is the first day of my fourth and final semester in Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. If you have read my previous posts on VCFA, you will know that the biannual 10-day Residencies I attend are like entering a different world - Brigadoon, as Tim Wynn-Jones called it my first Residency. Students and faculty spend a week and a half perched atop a hill in Montpelier, Vermont discussing children's books, writing, and all the magic and frustrations that go along with it.

This Residency was bitter-sweet, knowing this is my last semester and my second to last Residency. I am excited, anxious, and a little bit scared at the idea of not having the magic of VCFA to guide me. But those are sentiments for six months from now. I still have to survive this semester with my new advisor, Rita Williams-Garcia.

Rita Williams-Garcia. Let me say it again - Rita Williams-Garcia. If you are not familiar with her, let me just say that recently her publisher has been scrambling to redesign the cover of her book One Crazy Summer so they can fit all the award stickers on it!

Now imagine me, sending my manuscript - which has never been read all the way through by anyone but me - to Rita Williams-Garcia. I'll just say, "Yikes!" But I know Rita's comments - even if she kindly tells me to start over from a blinking cursor - will teach me, inform me, and guide me to become the best writer I can be. And isn't that what all of this is about?

As I drove home yesterday, my head filled with ideas, inspiration, and eagerness, I gradually had to re-enter my Real Life. As I ticked off the states - Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, and New Jersey - as the snow gradually got dirtier, the temperature inched higher, and the traffic got heavier, I left the magic of VCFA/Brigadoon behind. By the time I got to the NY/NJ border, I was thinking about doing laundry, going to the grocery, and the dentist appointment I have next week.

This morning I am back at my computer, not quite ready to surrender to Real Life. I'm trying to recreate the wonder of the last ten days. The laundry still isn't done, I haven't been to the grocery, and I'm thinking of canceling that dentist appointment.

"Never give up! Never surrender!" (Galaxy Quest)

It has been over two years since I've written about perspective, but given the events in my personal and writing life in the last few weeks, it's time to remind myself that everything has to be kept in perspective.

Life for me has been pretty darn good lately. I'm in my third semester at Vermont College of Fine Arts. I will graduate in July with an MFA in Writing for Children and Young Adults. My picture book, BENNO AND THE NIGHT OF BROKEN GLASS, published in January 2010 by Kar-Ben, has received starred reviews from both School Library Journal and Jewish Book World. I have five Author Visits lined up between now and the end of November for Jewish Book Month. A few weeks ago I learned that BENNO will be going into a second printing. And I learned last week that BENNO was awarded a Gold Medal in the Multicultural Picture Book category by Moonbeam Children's Book Awards. Life is pretty darn good! So why do I need perspective? Because as good as my writing life has been, my "other" life has been, both, even better, and profoundly sad.


Last week my daughter got married. It was a glorious weekend. Probably the happiest weekend of my life (so far). All our friends and families were together to celebrate. It doesn't get much better than watching your children grow up - whether they're heading off for their first day of kindergarten, starring in a high school play, graduating college, or walking down the aisle. Life's events are to be cherished and enjoyed. Two days after the wedding, I got on a plane to Florida to say good-bye to a cousin of mine who is dying of colon cancer (PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - if you are over 50 get a colonoscopy!). We had hoped that she would make it to the wedding, but that was not to be. After deciding to stop treatment in early August, the doctors expected her to have six months and with pain medication they were to be a good six months. But life doesn't always work out the way we expect it to.

And that's where perspective comes in. Yes, My writing life is great right now. My personal life is great right now. But all of it can change in an instant. Getting published is not the be all and end all of our lives. Yes, some of you may say, "Well, that's easy for her to say. She's published." But I truly believe it. Writing is a part of my life. It is not my life. My full life is a combination of friends, family, activities, hobbies, and beliefs. Not one thing defines me. I think that keeping perspective keeps me on an even keel. No one could have been happier at their daughter's wedding than I was at mine. And no one could have been sadder bidding farewell to a loved one than I. But by keeping a balance of what's good in our lives with what's bad, makes it all easier.

So, the next time a rejection arrives in the mail - and there will be rejections - throw a hissy-fit, threaten to stop writing, say nasty things about the editor or agent who turned down your gifted prose, eat a box of chocolates, drink a bottle of wine, and then remember the good things in your life. Drag yourself back to your desk and send your masterpiece out again.

Oh, yeah, and when I get my next rejection. Remind me of this post!

Someone I know from VCFA is about to have her second book published. (She gave me her permission to blog about this as long as names were omitted). Her first book, which I loved, is a YA with a male protagonist. This second is a middle grade, again, with a male protagonist. The publisher/sales department of the second book (different from the first) asked if she would consider using her initials instead of her full name on the cover for marketing reason. They assumed/thought/suspected that "impulse" buyers would be more inclined to pick up a book about a boy if the gender of the author were not blatantly female.

My gut reaction was "Heck, yeah!" But when you stop and think about this, the ramifications are huge.

So, was the publisher thinking that boys won't read books written by women? Or that girls won't read books written by men? I think someone needs to stop and explain that boys are certainly reading books by Kathryn Lasky, Lowis Lowry, and Cornelia Funke. And girls are certainly reading books by Rick Riordan and Eoin Colfer. (But, oh, never mind, we shouldn't worry about girls because girls read everything . . .?) And are they assuming that young male readers or "impulse" buyers can't figure out that sometimes "J.K." is code for - "I'm really a woman, but am using my initials so you boy readers out there don't know it"? And what does it say about female writers - that we should hide our identity? That we should encourage boys to only read books they suspect are written by men? And what should a writer do - Stand on their ego and refuse to change at the risk of not selling as many books? Or be a team player despite the ugliness of the situation and the idea of it making their guts roil?

Personally, I still think I would use my initials if asked, or write under my middle and maiden names, which sound fairly androgynous. (With a last name like mine, it would be pretty hard to think if I suddenly started using M.B.T. Wiviott instead of Meg Wiviott that someone wouldn't it figure out). I think it's a personal decision. Some people just like their initials! And other's don't.

I could go on, but I won't. I'd like to hear from you all. What do you think? I'd especially like to hear from people who write under their initials? (J.A. and J.L.???) Why do you choose to use your initials?

Oh, yeah, and my friend . . . she's going with her full name and her editor backed her up 100%.

Maha Addasi's Time to Pray, published by Boyds Mills Press, is set to hit bookstores on September 1st. Maha is a recent graduate of Vermont College of Fine Art's MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults, and although that is how I know Maha, it is not why I decided to review her book here, although it didn't hurt. I am pleased to review Maha's book because it is beautifully written, lusciously rich in culture, and (dare I say it?) educational, at a time when we all need to be more educated.

Time to Pray is a beautiful picture book aimed at children ages 7 to 9, which tells the story of Yasmin's visit with her grandmother, Teta. Not only is this an endearing story of a loving relationship between a girl and her grandmother, it is a primer on the traditions of Muslim prayer. The story follows as Teta makes Yasmin her own prayer clothes, buys her a prayer rug, and teaches her how to prepare herself to pray five times a day. When Yasmin returns home, she finds Teta has sent along a special gift which reminds her, not only of the mosque near her grandmother's home, but also the time to pray. It is a story of prayer, but also a story of burgeoning spirituality, of family traditions, and family love.

What Addasi does particularly well is draw the reader into this world, even if the reader is completely unfamiliar with a world of morning cinnamon buns, bustling market places, delicious upside-down rice, and the calls of the muezzin. Addasi's simple text and Gannon's lush illustrations create a believable and loving relationship between Yasmin and her grandmother, which should be familiar to any reader regardless of their cultural roots. Additionally, Addasi provides an explanation of prayer times at the end of the story, which explains some of the traditions of Muslim prayer and the five daily required prayer times. The corresponding Arabic translation, by Nuha Albitar, provide yet another layer to the depth of an already complex picture book, even if one can only admire the looping calligraphy.

This picture book would make an excellent gift for any Muslim child who is curious about the traditions of her own faith as well as for a non-Muslim child who is curious about other faiths.

Let's share our favorite multi-cultural books: What are they and why do you like them?

Paparazzi follow them, fans stalk them, sightings are reported, and rumors are circulated. My question is, Who cares? Why should I be interested in what Brad and Angelina, or any number of other movie stars or sports heros, are up to when in the world of children's literature, we have our own stars! And I can't recall a single time when any of them have made a headline for doing something illegal, ill-advised, or down right stupid.

I have recently returned from my third Residency at Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA Program for Children and Young Adults. A sense of euphoria, giddiness, ecstasy filled me the whole six hour drive home. Was it because I was thrilled to be going home - to be returning to my own bed and bath, where I didn't have to sleep atop my sheets in a sheen of perpetual sweat or perform feats of contortion to shave my legs in a 3 1/2 x 3 1/2 shower cell? Or because I was returning to food I could cook myself - mashed potatoes that didn't taste like a salt lick or scrambled eggs made from eggs laid by chickens and not some unidentifiable powdered substance that tastes like rubber? Or, was is because of the magic that is Vermont College of Fine Arts? I have my suspicions.

The Theme of this Residency was Fantasy! We read Frank L. Baum's The Wizard of Oz and books by the visiting faculty, Holly Black and Gregory Maguire, both notable creators of fantastical worlds. Also appearing at the Residency were VCFA's own M.T. Anderson and Jandy Nelson. Who needs misbehaving rock stars when you've got people like this to admire, stalk, and drool over? (And I did drool over M.T. Anderson. What could be more attractive than a man who wears plaid shorts and high top sneakers and sings the State Song of Delaware from his book Jasper Dash and the Flame-Pits of Delaware? And I thoroughly embarrassed myself when meeting Jandy Nelson - if you haven't read her book, The Sky is Everywhere yet, do so immediately. Blathering on about loving her book, the title of which I couldn't even remember in the moment. Was my momentary memory lapse because of the heat, lack of sleep, or my raging case of pencil envy? Again, I have my suspicions.)

I am entering my third semester at VCFA, during which I must write a critical thesis. A year ago, as a fledgling first semester, the mere thought of the critical thesis was enough to send my anxiety level to Oz. But now I feel ready, prepared by my first and second semester advisors, and psyched to be working with my new advisor Shelley Tanaka.



With the stars that shine the night sky of children's literature, and VCFA in particular, I wonder why I should need to look elsewhere for my heros. As Dorothy would say, why go looking

In just over two weeks, I'll be heading back up to Vermont to begin my third semester at Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. I finished all my school work back at the end of May, then went on a well-deserved vacation with my family. Now I'm trying to prepare for the Residency, which requires the reading of 11 20-page workshop submissions from my fellow classmates, reading an assortment of books and articles for lectures, and trying to read one or two books by the three new incoming faculty, and read something by the two guest lecturers, Gregory Maguire and Holly Black. Hummm...did I say that I'm supposed to be on break now? Oh, yeah, AND I am weaving a tallis for my future-son-in-law which will be used as a chuppa at the wedding in October.

I had hoped to use this "break" to work on my wip, trying to get it finished (G-d forbid) or at least in more polished form. But not only am I already feeling jammed for time, I've found my motivation is still on vacation.

In the VCFA MFA program, I have to turn in a packet of material every three to four weeks. I get a rush when I think of all the books I have to read, the critical essays I have to write, and the creative work that I either have to rewrite, revise, or pluck out of thin air in such a short amount of time. It's tough, but I've gotten it done every time. I have never been late and, in fact, I have on occasion, sent the material in early. So what's my problem now that I'm on break? It's as if without the pressure of a deadline hanging over my head, I figure - oh, it'll get done. But if I'm not doing it, when exactly is it going to get done??

So, I'm wondering how do other writers sustain their motivation? What suggestions, other than chaining my butt to the chair, do you have to get me back in front of my computer?? Help!

Last week was extremely busy. It started on Monday with the Jewish Book Network's Meet the Author Day. On Tuesday, my last packet for the semester was due. Wednesday and Thursday were BEA, and Friday was a day of rest. And boy, did I need it!


The Jewish Book Network's Meet the Author Day was more like Meet the Author's Hour. It was in NYC, which for me is only a quick drive away, but, of course, traffic was horrid going over the George Washington Bridge and down the FDR Drive. But being compulsive, I'd left myself enough time and wasn't late. The day consisted of 25 children's book writers who had written Jewish themed books, giving in a 2-minute presentation through which we were to "sell" ourselves and our books to members of the Jewish community who might want to invite us to their synagogues, JCCs, day schools, religious schools, whatever. There were 25 of us and we went in alphabetical order, so . . . you got it, I went last. After an hour of sitting in a hot room with my anxiety climbing the wall, I finally got up to speak, but I had no voice. I then proceeded to have a coughing fit. I was given a drink of water and told that 5 seconds had been added to my time (all in jest of course). I have no memory of what I said after I drank the water. For all I know I spoke in tongues. After the presentations were over, we got to schmooze with the attendees and had some lunch. All of which was quite nice. Then I drove home and, of course, traffic was horrid up the FDR Drive and across the GW bridge.

On Tuesday, I had to send in my last packet of work to my VCFA advisor. I did so with mixed feelings. Part of me was thrilled to be finishing what was a challenging but productive semester, and part of me was sad to be ending my work with Alan Cuymn. Alan had been a demanding advisor. He encouraged me not only to revise the opening of my wip, but to start it over fresh for every single packet (there are five packets). To say that I was sick of the opening of my story after this semester would be false. Alan forced me to slow my writing process down, to really hook the reader in the opening few pages, and to set up the story properly so that most readers would have no problems believing the premise I was creating. Alan's comments and suggestions were right on and with every rewrite the opening got stronger and better. How could I be upset with such an outcome?

Wednesday was Book Expo America. I have never been to one of these before. If you have never been, you should. What an experience! It was held in the Jacob Javits Center. The place was filled with publishers from around the world hawking their wares and thousands of librarians, teachers, writers, editors, publishers, and people who love to read wandering around. It was overwhelming, fascinating, claustrophobic, and thrilling. I meet several fellow VCFA students, including my roommate Kathleen Wilson . We wandered through the booths gathering a stack of ARCs. Yes, the publishers do literally throw books at you as you pass. I gathered a stack of ARCs I am anxious to read (see photo above), the first being Infinite Days by fellow VCFA student Rebecca Maizel. It was a fun and exhausting day. So exhausting that I couldn't go back on Thursday. After everything else going on that week, I was done.

This week is filled with my usual life. And next week we are going on vacation! The whole family - our

This is my cat. His name is Slide. He's not like other "cats." He thinks he's a dog. He's personable and likes to be with people. While I'm working he's usually close by, contentedly watching, like he is here in this picture above. He's an indoor cat, much to his dismay, because every time he goes outside he gets beaten up. So, after an expensive trip to the vet and four days in the cone of shame (wish I had a picture of that) we decided to keep him indoors. He's generally okay with that, except now.



Here he is expressing his displeasure with the fact that it's beautiful outside. Spring has sprung! The sun is shinning, the birds are chirping, the squirrels are frolicking and he's stuck indoors! Trust me, it's hard to work with a cat looking at you like this - even when he's not sitting right in front of the computer monitor.

So how does any of this relate to writing?

It relates because I'm feeling just like Slide. Spring is distracting - especially after this winter. I'm working on revisions (I wasn't kidding in my comment to Robin's post when I said I'd been planning to post on Revisions), and it's hard. Really hard. And it's made even more difficult by the distractingly nice weather. People will probably want to take me out and tar and feather me, but I'm missing the cold, dark, snowy days of winter when all I wanted to do was stay inside and write and read.

So, I'm wondering how you manage to keep yourselves focused on writing, when it's so darned nice outside?!

This past weekend I had two book signings in local book stores. I was nervous. I was excited. Here are a few things I learned:

1) Book signings and readings are more exhausting than you think they're going to be.
2) Reading a children's picture book to a group of adults is REALLY hard.
3) Don't be nervous. No matter who's in the audience, you know more about your book than they do.
4) Stand up straight. (I saw in photos I have very bad posture).
5) Have someone take pictures of you while you're reading, signing, or interacting with the group so you can see if you have bad posture.




6) Hold the book out to the side while reading rather than in front. First, it's difficult to read upside down and second, the audience doesn't want to look at the top of your head. (This was a great tip from a school librarian).
7) Bring a favorite pen.
8) Bring slips of paper for people to write the names of whom they want the book addressed to, so you don't spell any names wrong.
9) Appreciate the people who come to your first book signings. No one is going to love and support you more than they do.
10 Have your husband/wife/partner/significant other take you out for dinner afterwards to a restaurant with a good bar!

Last week I sent off my last packet of work for the semester to my advisor Sharon Darrow. If anyone had told me how fast this semester would past, I would never have believed them. If someone else had told me how much I would learn in a five month period, I wouldn't have believed them, either. If yet another person had told me (and I think people did tell me this) how much I would learn from writing critical essays and how I would come to enjoy them, I would have thought that person had drank too much Kool-Aide. But the truth is, the semester flew by, I learned more than I could have imagined, and yes, I do love writing critical essays!

People, VCFA alums, told me the program would change me, not only as a writer, but as a person. I know I have changed as a writer. So here is a brief summary of what I learned.


First, I'll get those nasty critical essays out of the way . . .
I am not lying when I say I came to love them. I really learned how to read as a writer. So much so, that it is now difficult for me to read anything without picking it apart. And you might ask how I, a lowly newbie in the published world, can have the chutzpah to criticize well-known, successfully published authors? I do it because not every book appeals to every reader. (Which is another thing I learned and I'll get to it later in the post.) For the books I loved, I picked them apart to find out what it was I loved about them, what did the writer do to pull me in, how did she create a main character that I cared about, worried about, and subsequently, went on a journey with? With books that I did not love so much, I look at what it was I didn't like? What worked, what didn't. This is the heart of a critical essay. Learning what works for you as a writer and a reader, examining that closely and then applying what has been learned to your own work.

A sub-lesson in all this reading (FYI - I read 52 books this semester) is that it is impossible for one book to appeal to all readers. Which is why there is currently a surge of vampire, wizard, faery, magical nether-world books. Some people LOVE Stephanie Meyer's TWILIGHT series (I didn't) while others love Cynthia Leitich Smith's YA gothic fantasies TANTALIZE and ETERNAL (I did). Both have love stories with immortals and humans, both have characters who must exert blood sucking restraint. But they are very different and beyond being in the same genre cannot be compared (unless it's in a critical essay, which maybe I will write next semester). So, the lesson I learned from this is that it doesn't matter if an idea has been done before. The trick is to make it your idea, with your emotions, characters, and situations. It doesn't matter that ghost stories have to done to death (no pun intended) my current wip is different.

I also learned this semester to plumb the depths of my soul for my characters' emotions. The story I am currently working on is more personal than most of my other works, but, the emotions of my character are not my emotions. Still I must feel them. Even with my historical works, while I have never watched a heretic burned to death, I can feel the revulsion my 15th century character, Rat, feels as he watches. I need to find my own emotions, turn them, twist them, and make them Rat's. Emotion pulls a reader into the story. Emotion makes the reader care.

But the greatest impact on me this semester was learning about POV. Simple. Basic. Everyone who thinks they are a writer should know about point of view. Yes, everyone should know, but it's much more complex than I originally thought. POV is more than through whose eyes the story is told. It sets the tone of the story and the limits in which the story can be told. If you're using first person, everything has to be through that character's ey

My husband and I have been spending a lot of time in cemeteries lately. Not because anyone we know has died (thank goodness), but as tourists. That might sound ghoulish, but it was not our intention.

In the last month we've been to Arlington National Cemetery, Christ Church Burial Grounds in Philadelphia, and Lafayette Cemetery, pictured above, in New Orleans.

Comparing the three cemeteries is like comparing apples and oranges. Arlington National Cemetery is 200 acres of pristine and uniform graves. It provides a snapshot of our national history. Did you know that the property once belonged to Robert E. Lee? I particularly enjoyed the section where the nurses are buried. Hundreds of women who served during war time. Their names alone are worth the trip - Phoebe, Constance, Betty, Gertrude. In comparison, the Christ Church Burial Ground is 2 acres with some 4,000 graves, including five signers of the Declaration of Independence and victims of the 1793 Yellow Fever outbreak (I've added Laurie Halse Anderson's FEVER to my TBR list). The Lafayette Cemetery in New Orleans is unlike any other cemetery (well, any cemetery above sea level). In New Orleans, tombs are used. So walking through the cemetery is like walking through a town - row upon row of tombs dating back to 1833.

So, what the heck does our morbid fixation with cemeteries have to do with writing?

I've been reading a lot of ghost stories lately. As part of my work for VCFA, I have to read roughly ten books every four weeks. For the last packet, I read all ghost stories. For the packet due in October, I'm reading stories that have Death as a character. Why? My current WIP is a ghost story and I've never written a paranormal story before. So I need to learn how others have done it.

Some of the books I've read in the last month are:
GHOSTS I HAVE BEEN by Richard Peck
GHOSTS OF KERFOL by Deborah Noyes
THE KILLER'S COUSIN by Nancy Werlin
RUINED by Paula Morris (which prominently features the Lafayette Cemetery).
SKELLIG by David Almond (not really a ghost story but a GREAT book)
THE GRAVEYARD BOOK by Neil Gaiman

What I've learned from all this reading is that there are as many types of ghosts floating around in writers' imaginations as there are writers, and comparing them is like comparing cemeteries - apples to oranges. Some ghosts are menacing and scary and kept me up at night (THE GHOSTS OF KERFOL), some are loving and kind (THE GRAVEYARD BOOK), some are helpful (THE KILLER'S COUSIN). What it means is that I can have my ghost be any kind of ghost I want her to be. The only rules that exist for ghost stories are the ones created by the writer for their specific world. The ghosts must be true to that created world.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll know that I've had a change of heart when it comes to reading YA. I never used to read it. Now, it's ALL I read. I read with a highlighter in one hand and stack of post-it-tabs in the other. When I'm done with a book it's marked all up and has all kinds of papers sticking out of it. I learn something from every book I read, even the ones I don't particularly like. The really good ones inspire me. And, the cemeteries have inspired me as well - through the ambiance of their hallowed ground and the voices of all those souls. After visiting all these places it is easy to believe in ghosts.

So I wonder, if I find inspiration from graveyards and ghost stories, where do other writers, whether you're writing contemporary, historical, sci-fi, whatever, get their inspiration? What are you reading and what have you learned?

I recently returned from my first 10-day Residency as part of my work at VCFA's MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. What an experience! If you read this blog regularly you'll remember that I was in a bit of a panic - mostly about sharing a dorm room, trekking down the hall to use the bathroom, and showering with a crowd. I shouldn't have been. Somehow, believe it or not, I survived dorm living and actually enjoyed it (well, "enjoy" might not be the right word...let's just stick with "survived"). This is my side of the dorm room. Trust me when I say my roommate's half was neater.

But surviving dorm life is the easy part of the 10-day residency. Surviving the Rez, as it is fondly called by us fortunate enough to be a part of the VCFA community, is truly an achievement. It is ten days packed, jammed, crammed, crowded, loaded, stowed and stuffed with "stuff". I learned more in the 10-day Rez than I have learned in my previous 10 years of writing. How is that possible, you might ask? It's magic...

In the opening lecture, Tim Wynne-Jones compared Rez to Brigadoon, a magical place that rises out of the mist every 100 years. VCFA rises from the mist of Montpelier, Vermont every six months. It truly is a magical place.

While Tim spoke of magical places and trusting your inner genius, Alan Cumyn spoke of what makes a good story and cheese sandwiches. Cynthia Leitich-Smith lectured on mysteries where good triumphs over evil, brains are better than brawn, and life is sacred. Louise Hawes spoke about the communion between writer and reader, and Rita Williams-Garcia spoke about finding archetypal experiences in refreshed images. Sharon Darrow spoke about digging deeper into our emotions and the emotional baggage carried by writers and readers alike. Through these lectures and the others I found myself amazed at how much I had to learn, and wondering how I had ever thought I was writing stories before.

I learned about psychic distance, extended metaphors, pause button violations, and the ever elusive objective correlative. A lot of this is instinctual, but now I can imagine how much better my writing will be now that I am aware of what I am doing. And I've only finished the first Rez! I have four more!

There are 18 students in my class. We range in age from 23 to...well, let's just say to way past 23. We come from all walks of life and from all over the country, plus one Brit. Some of us are published, some of us are not. Some of us are new to writing, some of us are not. Some of us are teachers, some of us are not. What we all have in common, what everyone at VCFA has is common, is our love of children's literature. With this single thread to bind us together we forged new friendships - friendships built on trust and respect.

I was never so happy to come home to my own bed, my own bathroom, my own cooking, as when I came home from my first Rez (if for no other reason than my face broke out immediately upon moving into the dorm, as if it knew it was in a place built for adolescence). I am ready to get to work, to push myself to produce the creative and critical work for each of my "packets", due every four weeks. And I am already counting the months until I return again to Brigadoon to see what magic is worked on me then.

This is my new bookcase. I love it! (I've been looking for an antique glass-fronted bookcase that didn't cost a fortune for years. But that's another post for another blog). I bought it because I've accumulated so many books that my old bookcase was filled and piles of books were amassing on the floor around the bookcase. Now look at all the empty shelf space begging to be filled! I love to read and lately, in the last year, I've been reading lots and lots of YA (see previous posts To Read or Not to Read - Parts 1-3). But now I find myself with a problem.

It is fear. Fear of Incorporation. Fear that I am never going to have an original idea again. Fear that I am taking bits from each of the books I've read and putting them in my new story. For example, if I have my main character see the school psychologist during school hours, is that stealing from Courtney Summer's CRACKED UP TO BE? If a character enjoys anagrams, is that too much like John Green's AN ABUNDANCE OF KATHERINES? Or if the MC feels as if no one understands her, is that copying from David Klass's YOU DON'T KNOW ME? And what if I want to add viral infected zombies, is that too close to IN THE FOREST OF HANDS AND TEETH? These are a few of the YA books I've read recently and I'm now calling into doubt every plot point I've imagine for my WIP. Did I think of that on my own, or was it something I read in someone else's story?

This, for me, is the dilemma of reading in my genre. I understand that the points I've picked out are small and insignificant. They can and do happen in real life (except for maybe the viral infected zombies) and given a believable and original set-up it makes perfect sense to fit these details into a story. And, given a believable and original set-up even the zombies could fit into a story. I just don't like second guessing myself. Maybe I should write a story that "steals" one component from every book I've read? A viral infected zombie who is misunderstood and has to visit the school counselor at lunchtime, but can only communicate through anagrams. Hummmm....maybe not.

I suppose I need to remember that there are no new stories to tell, only new ways to tell them. Now I'm off to the bookstore!

I have been writing seriously for roughly 13 years. I've attended countless conferences and workshops, I've read a bookcase full of books on writing, and I've revised and submitted, revised and submitted so many times rejection is beginning to feel normal. It's a feeling I don't like.

So, I've decided to challenge myself to improve. Starting in July, I will be attending the Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Check it out at Vermont College of Fine Arts.

I am thrilled! I am anxious. I am excited. I am scared.

I am thrilled to be accepted into a program that includes so many successful and respected writers. I hope I don't stand gaping at everyone.

I am anxious about putting my work out there where they can read and critique it. What happens if someone tells me I'm never going to make it?

I am excited for the opportunity to learn more about my craft. To take my writing to the next level and challenge myself to be the best writer I can be.

But I am most scared about living in a dorm with a roommate and having to walk down the hall to use the communal bathroom. I am a creature of habit. I have my ways. Besides, do you have any idea how many times I have to get up at night to pee? In addition, my husband tells me I snore. What happens if I snore so much my roommate can't sleep? Also, I am, probably like most writers, a bit of a loner. I like my private time. Where does one get private time when sharing a room and a bathroom? It's not even like the kids were little and you could lock yourself in the bathroom just to get away.

If a student has a medical condition they can request a private room (still with the bathroom down the hall). Do you think being a prima dona is a medical condition?

People have told me that attending Vermont has changed their lives, not just their writing. I don't mean to be cynical, but sharing a bathroom is definitely going to change my life!

Seriously, though, I am excited to be starting this new phase in my life and I hope my stubborn prima dona self learns as much as my writing self.

In September, my youngest child went off to college. It was quite an adjustment for me, more than I ever expected. Suddenly I had time on my hands. Most people would find this to be a blessing. That was not my experience. I found myself wondering how I was going to fill the day. Acquaintances offered their opinions on what I should be doing with my new found time. One suggested volunteering. A very valuable consideration, but there are two non-profit organizations with which I have been involved for more than ten years, so I did not feel the need to find another organization just to volunteer. Another suggested returning to the work force. But I haven't worked in close to 20 years and therefore, am no longer qualified for anything more than being a greeter at Wal-Mart, which holds no appeal. A good friend, who had recently entered the land of empty-nest herself, told me to take my time figuring out what I wanted to do. "Don't rush into anything," she said. "Find something you're passionate about." So I took her advice...

I want to write books for children and young adults. Duh! Didn't I already know that? Yes, and no. Finding myself with time on my hands made me wonder if this was what I was supposed to be doing, or if I should be out in the world doing something REALLY important like cleaning up cat and dog poop at the local animal shelter or directing lost shoppers to special price deals in aisle 7? When I spent day after day starting at a blank Word document I had to ask myself, how can I be a writer if I'm not writing? I came to the point of put up or shut up.

I decided to put up. I decided re-commit myself to my writing. I attended an NJ-SCBWI Workshop which I hoped would light a fire under me and I began searching for ways to improve my writing. The workshop was a success in that it definitely lit a fire. The editor I was paired with was interested in seeing one of my stories after revisions and the critique and first page session gave me new ideas for revising a second story (see my post "A Fine Line" on 2/25). To improve my writing, I decided to apply to the Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Suddenly, I didn't have so much time on my hands. I had to write two essays for the application and I had two YA manuscripts to revise before sending to editors. Additionally, I had my regular homework to do in the class I am auditing on Medieval Christianity at Drew University (a great experience but the topic for another post).

THEN, with another case of when it rains it pours, an agent kindly rejected my historical YA but expressed interest in my contemporary YA.

In all of this, I discovered something about myself. I work better under pressure. Perhaps not extreme pressure, but certainly with deadlines -- lots of deadlines. Otherwise, I procrastinate to the point of being completely unproductive.

So, in keeping with what I am learning in my Medieval Christianity class, I am undergoing a personal reformation. I am remaking myself - trying to return to my old productive self who wrote everyday, while striving to reinvent myself into the writer I want to be.

Now, having said all this, when you read this I will be sunning myself on board Celebrity's 5-day Caribbean cruise so I might not be able to respond to comments as frequently as I might like. But don't worry, I'm taking a stack of YA's to read and I will be revising my contemporary manuscript, all while drinking fruity umbrella drinks.

Last Sunday I attended a NJ-SCBWI Mentoring Workshop at which there was a First Page Session. In preparation for this I submitted a first page to my critique group. It was a revised first page of a WIP that has been IP for years. It's a project that, for one reason or another, has been difficult for me. I've stopped and started, abandoned and returned to it many times. In the current return I have decided to pretty much chuck all that I'd written previously and take on a new direction with a new main character, new POV, and essentially new everything.

My critique group trashed it.

Yes, this group of writers who I consider among my best friends literally ripped my first page apart. A first page! Quite honestly, I didn't know one could find so much wrong with a single page. Don't worry, they all did it in a nice way and started and ended their eviscerations with positive comments, but Gale still had to call me the next morning to make sure I wasn't planning on doing a Sylvia Plath. (I wasn't, just so you know).

I went off to the Workshop on Sunday with two first pages. The first from my contemporary YA which has been critiqued in so many First Page Sessions I felt confident it would not be torn to shreds in public - it was safe. The second first page in my writer's bag was the ripped-to-shreds first page of my current WIP with a few minor changes (the ones that could be managed without a complete rewrite). Standing at the desk where I was instructed to leave my first page, I couldn't decide which one to leave. My hand was on the ripped-to-shreds one, but my ego wouldn't let me pull it out. I chickened out and put the safe first page on the pile. My skin was not thick enough to weather a second shredding in less than 48 hours.

Something you should know about me is that I love First Page Sessions, often finding them the most valuable part of a conference. It doesn't matter if the first pages are accomplished pieces of writing simply waiting to find the right editor or a newbie written page that makes you cringe just to listen to it (and admit it, there's always at least one in a first page session that makes your hair stand on end). I learn something from every page that's read.

What I learned on Sunday when the editors read my safe first page was that I had some dialogue that wouldn't really happen, but conveniently allowed me to bring up a point of tension between two characters. That's a valuable criticism and something easily fixed.

But what I REALLY learned on Sunday came from other people's first pages -- To recognize the thin line that exists between starting with action, which is something we always hear, to dropping the reader into a scene without them having the slightest notion of what is going on. A Thin Line. And I understood immediately what my critique group was trying to tell me.

Now one could argue that my beloved critique group could have lightened up a little bit. On the other hand, our group has never been known to blow hot air up anyone's skirt. We all call it as we see it, which is one of the things I value most about the group.

It's another thin line, one we balance on at every meeting.

I'm not sure if I regret playing it safe on Sunday. Given that the rest of the Workshop went so well, maybe I could have weathered a second evisceration if I'd been brave enough to submit my WIP first page. It's a thin line.

I've been reading a lot of YA lately. Not just historical fiction, but all kinds. I just finished THE ADORATION OF JENNA FOX which, like another one of my favorites, UNWIND, is a futuristic story that tells such a fascinating story that the reader is sucked into new worlds at the same time being forced to think about important issues like life and death, quality of life, and medical ethics, without even realizing it. I LOVE books that encourage thinking!

So, you might wonder what I've been thinking about...

I've been thinking about my critique group. There was one small instance in JENNA FOX that stopped me. Without writing any spoilers, the MC's parents go to fairly extreme measures to hide Jenna away, but when they finally concede to allow Jenna to go to school, they send her out into the world with her real name, Jenna Fox. It bugged me that they didn't at least change her name to keep her identity secret.

I know if Mary Pearson were in our critique group and had brought a rough draft of JENNA FOX to be critiqued someone would have said, "hey, how come her parents don't change her name?" Heck! I would have said it! And perhaps, if Mary Pearson were in our group, she'd have gone back to her desk/computer and written a whole convoluted sub-plot involving the name change of Jenna Fox when it OBVIOUSLY isn't necessary.

Reading more YA has made me realize how much REALLY GOOD YA is out in the world. It's also made me realize that perhaps I am too picky in my critiques. I'm not talking about ignoring glaring inconsistencies, or plot development that doesn't develop, or MCs who have no attraction, I'm talking about small stuff that can be justified with a suspension of belief, a faith in my reader that I don't need to explain every tiny, minute detail. Let the character live and let the reader read.

I am evolving as a reader. I am finding that most of the books I've picked up I've had to read straight through because the story is so engaging that I just want to enjoy it. Then I have to go back and read it as a writer - which I confess to not being that good at yet.

So as I am learning how to be a better writer and a better critiquer, I'm wondering how other writers read. Does reading influence your writing or your critiquing?

Merry Christmas! I do not celebrate the holiday, but I do love Christmas. I love the decorations (provided they are taken down by New Year's Day), I love the attempt that most people make to be friendly and cordial, and I love the TV specials (particularly Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer). But what I enjoy most about the holiday is that nothing is open (except for movie theaters and Chinese restaurants). That may sound cliche, but for those of us who don't celebrate, it's a great thing. My family is essentially forced to spend the day together. This year is different....

Our daughter and her boyfriend have invited us to DC for Christmas. It may sound like a strange thing for Jews to do, but as I said, it's great family time. What's different this year is that our son doesn't want to go. He hates the drive to DC (which can try one's nerves) and would rather sit at home alone with the cat, play PS3, sleep until 3 PM, and watch testosterone loaded movies with lots of explosion, scantily clad women, and gratuitous violence (he is 18). What's also different is that we'll be meeting the boyfriend's mother for the first time. My daughter speaks highly of this woman, so I'm not worried, but the whole thing does sound like a set up for a YA combination of Home Alone and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - There's a story in there somewhere. Which brings me to the main topic of this post....A Plethora of Ideas.

Where do we get our ideas from? How do we decide what to work on? I currently have too many ideas rumbling around in my head. I have been working on a new historical fiction set in 15th C England (again, but this time late 15th C rather than early), but then started getting ideas to fix the problems I had with an historical YA I abandoned a year ago. Then, after doing research for a magazine proposal, I came across a tid-bit of history not well known and thought it would make a great set up for yet another YA historical - this one following two different MCs in two different periods but with the same problems. I can't decide what to work on.

I know I need to work on something new as opposed to rewriting one of my old pieces - I've done enough of that in the last year and a half, I want something fresh. But I seem to be having a hard time sustaining my interest in my current WIPs. I get all excited at the start, do the research, map out a basic plot, write the first 50 pages or so and then....peter out. Then a new idea pops into my head and it starts all over again.

So I am making a New Year's resolution to FINISH a WIP. I haven't decided which one it will be yet (I still have a week to decide). It will be my own mini-version of NaNo. I'm pledging here in "public" to have a finished novel by June 1st. Six months in a deadline I can live with. Wish me luck!

Oh, and if anyone does by chance read this post on Christmas day, I won't be able to respond to comments right away. I'm in DC!

Since Thanksgiving is two days away, it seems appropriate, and perhaps corny, to reflect on all that we are thankful for.

I am thankful for my critique group. (I am thankful for a great many other things as well, but since this is a blog about writing and critiquing, I'll spare you my list.)

I recently had an online experience that made me appreciate the thoughtful, thorough, and honest critiques that come from the members of this group. Perhaps I went into the online experience with the wrong expectations. Perhaps I am spoiled in expecting fellow writers to give constructive criticism instead of comments like, "I don't think this is well written" or "This isn't my thing". What is an author supposed to take from a comment like that? I suppose one could just ignore them, but then what is the point of them being posted in the first place?

Like many experiences in life, I try to learn something good from the bad. I've learned to keep things in perspective and appreciate what I do have rather than what I don't.

Thank you, Linda, Gale, Judy, Janice, Brianna, Valerie, Eileen, and Robin for your constructive and supportive critiques. I hope I give as good as I get.

What are you thankful for?