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Naomi S. Baron, author of Always On: Language in an Online and Mobile World, is Professor of Linguistics at American University in Washington, DC. Always On explores the linguistic and social impact of computers and mobile phones. A former Guggenheim and Fulbright fellow, she is also the author of Alphabet to Email: How Written English Evolvedand Where It’s Heading, which probes the influence of technology on English over the past 1200 years. Baron is currently studying mobile phone use in cross-cultural context.

Admit it.

Sometimes you don’t want to talk with certain people. You spy a colleague down the hall, coming towards you. He’s a notorious chatterbox, so you duck down the nearest corridor. Your sister-in-law calls as you are settling in for an evening’s television, and you concoct excuses about preparing to leave the house.

Telecommunication devices help us maneuver when we converse with whom. Answering machines (reborn as voicemail) respond for us, even when we are sitting beside the phone, listening in. Speaker phones free us to multitask – and to subject unwitting callers to larger audiences than they bargained for. Skype lets us choose who gets to see us and who may only hear our voice.

Or take instant messaging, which allows you to “block” people, leading them to believe you aren’t logged on to your IM client, when you actually are. One undergraduate I interviewed regularly blocked his mother whenever he wanted to post away messages containing raunchy language. After his friends had a day or so to take in his humor, he removed the message – and unblocked Mom.

Social networking sites add more control options. Studies of Facebook have observed how young people in America stage themselves through photographs, quotations, and relationship status – aptly illustrating Erving Goffman’s notion of “presentation of self in everyday life.” One student at my university described her page on Facebook as “more an expression of who one wants to be than who one really is. [It’s] me on my best day.” Like a puppeteer pulling the strings, she manipulates what her friends see (and presumably think) of her.

Both IM and social networking sites also redefine what it means to keep in touch with friends. College students frequently read friends’ away messages on IM to catch up on their activities, rather than picking up the phone or launching an IM conversation. Facebook has been described as “a way of maintaining a friendship without having to make any effort whatsoever,” since you can see what your friends are up to simply by viewing their pages. In fact, Facebook will notify you when the birthdays of your online “Friends” roll around, so you can post a birthday greeting on their Facebook “Wall” (think of an electronic notice board). It’s Happy Birthday without risk of personal involvement.

What’s the problem? For starters, micro-managed human interaction undermines personal courage. (“You lacked the guts to tell her to her face you have a new girlfriend, but sent her a text message?”) It also devalues the other person’s right of response, replacing dialogue with monologue.

Recently I have been studying how university students in Sweden, the US, and Italy use their mobile phones. To understand why young people choose to send a text message (rather than make a voice call), I asked students to evaluate this possible explanation: “I want to make my message short, and talking takes too long.”

The cross-cultural data were amazingly consistent. Between 68% and 73% of subjects in all three countries judged this rationale to be either a “very important” or “somewhat important” reason to send a text message instead of calling. Participants in subsequent focus groups repeatedly stressed how expedient it was to get their message out without having to “waste” time with pleasantries or risk getting into actual conversations.

Like most technologies, computers and mobile phones are mixed blessings. Internal combustion engines brought the convenience of automobiles, but they also pollute the planet. Mobile phones are invaluable for bridging distance, yet they magnify our ability to distance ourselves from others.

Admittedly, children have long posted “Keep Out” signs on their tree-houses or bedroom doors.
But consider this: Today’s college students hear their mobile phone ring, glance at the number, and proceed to ignore the call because “It’s only Mom” – a story I heard many times in the US and even in family-friendly Italy.

“Only Mom.” As communal beings, part of our socialization entails learning how to engage interpersonally. To make small talk, to empathize, to be available, even when we would rather be doing something else. Today’s communication technologies may be turning us into social control freaks, leading us to diminish the importance of open, real-time (and yes, sometimes risky or boring) discussion.

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I'm glad IM exists (and that my work doesn't block it). My 12 yr old goddaughter is visiting but I have to work. So, she's home alone in my apartment in a strange city. I left her my cell phone so I could call and check up but she was still half asleep when I left so she didn't understand that I wanted her to pick it up if anyone (i.e me) called!

Fortunately I discovered saturday night that she has MSN and she's now on my list (should I tell you how pathetic it is that we were messaging each other from a few feet away?). After trying to call my cell countless times this morning I finally gave up and signed onto meebo - and there she was online! Now I can breath easier having checked up on her. I made sure she had lunch and I also helped her put on a dvd.

Later, I'm going to become every public librarian's hated patron. Not only am I going to leave my 12 yr old cousin unattended at the library, I'm actually instructing her to go there alone! I work until 7:30 so it just doesn't make sense for me to take the bus all the way home to pick her up then to go out for dinner because the bus schedule sucks in the evening. I figured meeting her at the library was a good plan since it's right next to where I'll take her to eat (and if you think 8:30 is too late for her to be eating a) her mom regularly feeds her late and b) it's March break!

Oh, and to make this post a little more library-esque. Her mom doesn't read for leisure at all (I try!), so I feel like it's up to me to promote reading and school and stuff. I was a little disturbed when I saw my goddaughter used her friend's library card to check out books because both hers and her mom's cards have overdue fines on them. Yesterday I took her to her first used bookstore! The man at the bookstore was really helpful; I told him it was her first time so he showed us the children's area, the classic literature and the other general stuff. She picked out two books for herself and used some leftover birthday money to buy them. I ended up getting one book too, though I really wanted three!