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Middle school librarians would be wise to add The Encyclopedia of Me by Karen Rivers to their shelves this fall. This memorable chronicle of one almost-thirteen-year-old girl's summer leading into her eighth grade year makes footnotes fun and reminds readers that the coolest thing to be is yourself.

Tink Aaron-Martin has decided to write a book called The Encyclopedia of Me. True to its title, the book includes detailed entries about all sorts of things, arranged in alphabetical order. As Tink leads us through her life from A to Z, we get to know her brothers (see Aaron-Martin, Sasha Alexei (Lex) and Aaron-Martin, Sebastian (Seb)), her father, her mother, her best friend (see Anderson, Freddie Blue), her worst enemies, and her new neighbor (see Boy, Blue-Haired, Who Just Moved in Next Door).

This is a great coming-of-age story. Tink makes it through a realistic mix of serious and not-so-serious dilemmas, ranging from wiping out while trying to (skate)board to dealing with older brothers to having your first crush. Tink, often called the Peacemaker in her typically chaotic household, is witty and remarkable. Though her family often frustrates her, she does love them. As she comes to realize things about her best friend, her family, and her future, she takes the time to appreciate what she has and who she is, and she's not afraid to stand up for the people she cares about, or for herself.

Tink's mother is a redhead from America; her father, British, of African-Caribbean descent. When you get to Tink's entry about herself - which comes very early in the book, due to her last name - you learn what her real name is, how she feels about being "an exotic mystery of mixed heritage," and how she deals with people who ask her what she is:

When people ask me what I am, I usually say, "I'm a human being." Then when they say, "I mean, what RACE are you?" I say I am African while fixing them with a patented look that I like to call my Are You a Racist? Face.

Tink tells it like it is. Though she sometimes holds her tongue when her best friend does something she thinks is phony or out-of-character (or, y'know, when they fall for the same guy), she's always honest with herself, and honest in her narrative. She's a very reliable narrator.

One of her brothers is stinky; the other is autistic. That's just the way they are. Mostly, they're pains-in-the-neck, because that's what big brothers are, and she loves and loathes them equally.

Then there's Kai, her new neighbor, who is interesting and nice and confusing, because Tink thinks she kind of likes him, but her best friend has declared her like for him, and that means Tink can't like him, but she kind of does, but when he says and does things that make it clear he likes Tink, that just makes her more confused, and...and...! I like the fact that Tink isn't boy-crazy, and that she's genuinely trying to figure out if she likes Kai, and how that might mess up her friendship with Freddie Blue. She describes it as "an awkward love love triangle where two of the points didn't even known they were part of the shape." (Page 133)

The writing is awesome. Check this out:

"Jealous" is also one of those words that does not fit its meaning. The real word for "jealous" should have a lot of k's and h's in it and hard sounds, like a mouthful of chewed glass. The word "jealous" sounds more like the name of a dessert made from Jell-O and something delicious. Unlike what jealousy actually is, which is the ugliest, worse feeling in the world. - Page 111

I'm more scared of karma than I am of anything else. Maybe all this is happening because I deserve to have bad stuff happen to me. Maybe I did something really awful once, and I don't even know what it was, and now it's all coming back to me like a nicely wrapped Christmas parcel full of sadness. - Page 118

On the difficulties of maintaining a friendship with someone who has changed and you might not like so much anymore:
It was like Freddie Blue and I were wrapped up together in strands like cobwebs, and no matter how hard I pulled (or how hard she pushed) to get out of the web, I was still in the web. And the web wasn't a bad thing; it was a web that I knew. And the web had been fun for my whole life! And I didn't want things to be different. Just being back at school made me want to crawl right back in and get firmly stuck in the place where I belonged. Which was with FB. Even if she was a bit spidery lately. - Page 180

I also really like a passage that takes place two pages before the end, but I won't quote it here because I don't want to spoil the terrific ending.

Complete with footnotes, cross-referencing, and the occasional stock photograph, Tink's encyclopedia has everything that it should.

I'd love to read Tink's list of twenty-six life goals. She references it early on, and reveals a few of the items on the list, but says it is "private and I'm already so embarrassed that my face is likely to melt and slide right off my skull," and while I wouldn't want to invade her privacy, it would have been cute to see that list on the endpapers after I reached the satisfying conclusion of the book. Then again, Tink lets us in on so much of her life and so many of her thoughts, she certainly deserves to keep some things private.

This book, though, you should definitely share. Give it to your middle school kids. I bet a good portion of them are prompted to write stories of their own afterwards. This would be a great book to use in both creative writing and autobiography courses. If I had found this book in my library as a kid, I would have checked it out and read it over and over again.

My favorite entries and random items include:
Aaron-Martin, Isadora (Tink)
Sparkly Unicorns and Happiness, which is an ice cream flavor offered at the ice cream shop featured in entry titled Ice Cream Incident, The
The bear photographs in the entries for Alaska and Norway, which have hilarious captions. (My pal Kristen shouldn't look at those pictures, though, because they would frighten her.)
Karma
Ballet, subtly dealt with throughout
The footnotes, especially those offering the readers prizes for interacting with the book and making accurate guesses, and other such things which sound like something I would say (and my friend Christina can vouch for that!)

And remember:

If you say something with enough authority, people will believe you, whether you know what you are talking about or not. - Page 241

Additional notes and considerations:

Bonus points to Tink for getting her (nick)name from one of my favorite characters, Tinker Bell.

Tink's classmate Ruth should meet Jil! from the Matthew Martin books by Paula Danziger, because the first time Tink thinks of Ruth in the book, she thinks of Ruth! with an exclamation point because she is always exclaiming! About everything! All the time! As someone who uses her fair share of exclamation points when happy, Ruth, I give you bonus points, too.

I've added to The Encyclopedia of Me two of my most popular booklists: Tough Issues for Teens and Middle School Must-Haves

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I was recently interviewed at The Book Base. Thanks for reading!

How long have you been a blogger?

I’ve been blogging at Bildungsroman for close to 8 years now.

Approximately, how many books do you read every year?

I average about a book a day, so I read around 300 books a year, more if you count scripts and screenplays.

What were your favourite books as a child?

My favorite books as a child included The NeverEnding Story by Michael Ende, Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery, The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin, The Fairy Rebel by Lynne Reid Banks, and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. I was also a huge fan of The Baby-Sitters Club by Ann M. Martin.

What are you reading at the moment?

I recently finished My Not-So-Still Life by Liz Gallagher, her inspired follow-up to her wonderful debut novel The Opposite of Invisible. I am about to begin Boys, Bears, and a Serious Pair of Hiking Boots by Abby McDonald, which I picked up because, like the protagonist, I am a vegetarian and environmentalist (though she is even more “green” than I am!) I am also reading, re-reading and memorizing three scripts as I prepare for projects which are about to go into production: a webseries, a short film, and a world premiere play. (I’m an actress.)

If you had to pick one, what’s the best book you’ve read in the last twelve months?

To name only one book I’ve read this year as an overall best would be like a parent trying to pick a favorite child and feeling as those she neglected the others. The only way to make it easier is to categorize:

Juvenile fiction, realistic: The Summer I Learned to Fly by Dana Reinhardt

Juvenile fiction, fantasy: Breadcrumbs by Anne Ursu

Detective mystery meets mythology: A Hundred Words for Hate by Thomas E. Sniegoski

The paranormal meets mythology: Spirits of the Noh by Thomas Randall (The Waking, Book Two)

Historical fiction meets the paranormal: The Secret Journeys of Jack London, Book One: The Wild by Christopher Golden and Tim Lebbon

Realistic teen fiction: Doggirl by Robin Brande

The end to a series, realistic teen fiction: Real Live Boyfriends by E. Lockhart (the fourth and final Ruby Oliver book)

Non-fiction: Self-Management for Actors by Bonnie Gillespie

Who are your three favourite authors?

Christopher Golden, Thomas E. Sniegoski and Lewis Carroll.

Which book has had the greatest impact on your life?

You pose another difficult question! It would probably be any and all of my favorite childhood books: The Westing Game, The NeverEnding Story, Anne of Green Gables, and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Also, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Each reflects a different part of me, as a person and as a writer. Each holds a piece of my heart because I connected to them so strongly, and those connections remain strong to this day.

Which books are you most eagerly anticipating?

The Fallen 3: End of Days by Thomas E. Sniegoski, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark: Emerson Blackwood’s Field Guide to Dangerous Fairies by Christopher Golden and Guillermo del Toro, The Secret Journeys of Jack London: The Sea Wolves by Christopher Golden and Tim Lebbon, The Waking: Winter of Ghosts by Thomas Randall. Also, The Lost Crown: A Novel of Romanov Russia by Sarah Miller, which was released last month and is patiently waiting for me to read it on a day with no interrupt

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This week, Tink is reading George's Marvelous Medicine. It, like many Roald Dahl books, has been challenged from time to time by concerned parents. So I sat Tink down for a Jacqui Reads her Children Books That Are SURE to RUIN Them FOREVER discussion.

ME: Tink?
TINK: (reads)
ME: Tink?
TINK: (reads)
ME: TINK?
TINK: (reads)
ME: TINK!
TINK: WHAT?!
ME: I notice you're reading George's Marvelous Medicine.
TINK: It's my Accelerated Reader book. (reads)
ME: Well, you know about Banned Books Week --
TINK: (deep sigh) And this is one of them.
ME: Well, sort of. What do you think?
TINK: (reads)
ME: Tink!
TINK: (blows bangs off face by spewing air with lower lip stuck out) Here's what I think: Yes, it's maybe not so appropriate in some places. But people! It's Roald Dahl. What did you expect? (returns to reading, turning back on me)
ME: (ponders several things, including how else to celebrate Banned Books Week)

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You've seen the bios:

"So and so is a stay-at-home mom to three adorable children under the age of five, two dogs, a cat, and a bearded dragon named Louie. When not writing, she enjoys building houses for Habitat for Humanity, hand-making all her family's clothes, and acting as mayor of Dubuque. She recently finished her thirteenth solo ascent of Everest. This is her sixth novel in the past year; her first collection of self-illustrated poetry will be out in July."

Who ARE these people? WHERE did they buy their time-turners? And, while I'm asking questions with all caps, WHO THE HECK STUCK THIS EXTRA WEEK OF NO SCHOOL IN BETWEEN AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER???

I try. I do. I know people send their kids to play and shut the door and go write masterpieces. But I have to assume those people's children don't think up games like "Carry the Cat By Her Tail," "What Happens When Dry Erase Markers Get Really, Really Wet?" and the classic "Sit on Your Brother's Head Til He Screams." The only time my kids are silent enough for me to write without leaving one ear and some brain space available to monitor them is when they're up to something really naughty.

So today I planned myself some writing time with a playdate. That fell through. Child care? Nobody available. I planned a pool trip; at least I could jot down ideas while they played, right? We lotioned, got dressed, and biked down there. Immediately upon our arrival, someone else's kid vomited vast and chunky all over the shallow end. Pool closed indefinitely.

"Go play," I ordered when we got home. They went upstairs to play Harry Potter School. I opened Word. And it's broken. Won't start at all. I spent five minutes re-starting and swearing at it before the door to Tink's room opened.

TINK: Mom?
JACQUI: What?
TINK: Mom?!
JACQUI What?!
TINK: MOOOOOOOM!
JACQUI: WHAT?!
TINK: We need you to come be the werewolf!
JACQUI: No. I'm busy.
TINK: Please?
JACQUI: No.
TINK: (runs down stairs) PLEEEEEEEASE? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? (dances circles around living room)
DESTRUCTO: (bounces down stairs) Pyeez pyeez pyeez. (spins in nauseating circles, narrowly avoiding every pointed edge in room)
JACQUI: Stop. No. Go away. Shoo! (holds laptop like shield)
TINK & DESTRUCTO: PLEEEEEESE! PYEEZ! TWO MINUTES! PLEEEEEEEEE -- (continues until blue in the face) -- SE!
JACQUI: (Deep breathes. Closes laptop. Weeps)

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Part 357: the omen

...because I promised Tink we could do "Harry Potter camp," just she and I, this week. Today is Potions. I printed up a simple baking soda and water recipe in a fancy font and labeled it "Revealo Totalum." I told Tink we were going to learn a simple potion that you paint on a plain piece of paper to reveal secret messages, or the future.

Then last night, I snuck downstairs, took the "plain piece of paper" and, in vinegar, wrote "THE DARK LORD RISES! BEWARE! BE NICE TO YOUR MOTHER!"

Heh heh heh.

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Number of laps of the outside of our house done by Thor in his imitation of Iniesta's celebration of Spain's winning World Cup goal: 1

Number of shirts removed as part of said imitation: 1

Number of laps of our house done by my children in imitation of their father: 2

Number of clothing items removed during laps: all of them

Number of laps done naked: 3

Number of laps done wearing each other's clothing: 1

Number of laps done wearing underwear on their heads and screaming with giggles while their father chases them, trying to corral them into the bath: 1

Number of neighborhood block parties we are likely to be invited to this summer: sigh.

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I have finally learned how to be in two places at once. YES!

Wait. Let me back up for a moment and explain this properly.

I don't post much about my personal/professional life here, so even if you follow my blog regularly, you may not know that I'm an actress, a singer, and a dancer. I am pursuing a career in theatre, film, and TV while holding down a full-time job at the bookstore and doing freelance journalism and webdesign.

I am an actress, and I am a storyteller. Musical theatre, straight plays, sitcoms, hour-long dramas, films - I love all of those fields and pathways, and I dream of finding success in all of them. I want to be known and respected for my work as a performer, a writer, and a director. I will tackle any role that I find compelling. I will tell stories that need to be told.

For the past month, I have been juggling three plays in addition to my day job. I recently portrayed Tinker Bell in a new musical adaptation of Peter Pan. I was quite excited to bring one of my favorite literary characters to life with faith, trust, and pixie dust.

My two current productions are both new stage plays. The first is a dark comedy set on the night of the big homecoming dance. The show begins with a bang: a gunshot is heard before the lights come up to reveal a girl in a prom dress (me) with a gun in her hand, standing over the body of her dead boyfriend in a hotel room. Her two best friends burst into the room, and then -- well, you'll have to see it to find out. The play, which runs straight through in real time, examines the depth of the girls' friendship, testing their loyalties and utilizing both quiet truths and laugh-out-loud moments.

My character's name is Daisy. (I've decided her last name is Fitzgerald. Do you know why?) I love playing this role. It's a very challenging role, and I welcome a good challenge. She's vulnerable and fragile. She exemplifies innocence at the breaking point, and the difficulty one faces when attempting to put something back together after it's been broken.

The show opens tonight. I'm so proud of the work we've done, the energy and honesty we've brought to this piece, and the comraderie between the four of us - the three actresses and the director. I value and appreciate the input and kind feedback we've received from the writer, who attended some of our rehearsals. I can't wait to share this story with an audience.

The other play tells the story of five kids - a pair of twins and their three friends - and how they become deeply marked by the actions of their parents and of each other. My character's parents have the best of intentions, but they truly and royally botch up something which destroys their family dynamic. The first act, which features the younger characters at age 9, ends with a life-altering event. The second act begins seven years later, when the kids are 16 years old. I portray the female half of the brother and sister twinship and have enjoyed infusing her with equal parts bossiness (think Lucy Van Pelt) and sincerity. I'm also very proud of my friend, who will be making her theatrical debut in this show.

Three short films in which I have small roles are currently taking the film festival circuit by storm. One of these films, Mastermind, will be screening at the Comic-Con International Independent Film Festival on Thursday, July 22nd @ 9:45 PM. If you dig comic books, arch villains, and anti-heroes, then you will dig Mastermind. Think of it as a non-musical version of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, if you will. I have a blink-and-you'll-miss-me cameo in the film, and I've thanked the director many times for including me, as I know this project means a lot to her, and to the writer, and to the two lead actors.

Still wondering how I'm going to be in two p

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This is Tink's new kitten, Tulip, whom we brought home yesterday from the Huron Valley Humane Society (thanks in part to Diane who chose Tink "the cuddliest, cutest one.").

She is 1.8 pounds of cute and all we could do all afternoon was stare and coo.

"How long have we been sitting here watching her?" Tink asked.

"An hour," I replied.

Tink sighed. "Oh boy," she said. "This is going to ruin my writing career."

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I went on a real bona fide kid-free vacation last week. Yup, four nights in which I got to sleep the whole night through, eat dinner slowly, and not have to do dishes. It was lovely, but the fact is, it could've been the HoJos around the corner and I would've been satisfied with the sleep part.

Three questions:

1. Do you come home from vacation all full of "things are gonna be different around here, yessiree we are gonna make some changes" ideas? I do.

2. And then do your kids do their best to ruin any relaxation or motivation you've brought home?

3. Can you guess which of the following my children did NOT fight about today?

a. Whether or not the sugary pixie stick Tink got at her end of year party is magical,
b. Whether or not said pixie stick gives Tink the power to turn Destructo into a giant pile of poop, should he choose to blow another raspberry at her,
c. Whether or not blowing a raspberry at someone, in the absence of flying spittle, still constitutes a violation of the "No Spitting" rule
d. What specific sound a giant pile of poop makes,
e. Whether or not the previous question refers to poop in the toilet or on the floor,
f. Who gets Dada to do his/her bedtime (and, therefore, who gets stuck with me), or
g. Who gets to give Mama her next backrub.

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We were punchy at bed time last night. A visit to the school end of year party, complete with cotton candy, Hawaiian Punch, and ice cream, will do that to you, especially if your mom usually controls your sugar intake enough that strawberries are dessert.

When it came time to tell stories, I told a whopper, the climax of which involved Tinkerbell convincing a gaggle of geese to rescue Destructo and her from the Huron River.

"How did they know what I was saying?" she asked.

"You spoke Geese, of course," I explained. "You learned it in Heb-goose school."

That got a good laugh from everyone. "Oh boy, " I admitted. "That's like the stupidest pun I've ever made."

"No, Mom," Tink assured me. "You've made lots of much stupider ones."

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We hear all the time about the benefits of reading to your children. The book-loving, library-using establishment wants you to think it's all fun and games. It's NOT. I know from ACTUAL EXPERIENCE. Here are just a few of the possible, disastrous consequences reading to your children, or, indeed, letting them read to themselves, can have on your health and the health of your children.

1. Children may decide it is hilarious, every time they hear the sound of fingers snapping, to strip down to their underwear, don their shirts as capes, and run around wherever you are screaming, "Tra la la!"

2. Children may ponder ingesting worms, fried or otherwise.

3. Head wounds may result from repeatedly opening the doors to and trying to fit inside of a cabinet that resembles a wardrobe.

4. You will be spied upon. And your actions will be recorded in a notebook. Depending on whether the perpetrator is Harriet or Nancy, such records may contain an overabundance of exclamation points.

5. Sever brain atrophy is a definite possibility.

6. Certain books may carry multiple deleterious consequences.

7. Your child may demand, in public, that you outline the geneology of the line of gods and half-gods descended from Cronos. Without Wikipedia.

8. Your child may threaten to punch you in the head.*

9. Child may demand a pet prairie dog.

10. Your child may learn that there are people who are different from her, that sometimes women fall in love with other women, and that the world is not the black and white moral checkerboard she has been led to believe. Also, what a scrotum is.

There is only one solution: ban them all. Ban them all, I say, and let kids engage in safe things like skateboarding and their 1,680 minutes (average) TV watching a week.

Bonus points if you know what books caused all of the above in my children...

* Sorry. So very, very sorry.

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In which we see how being the child of a writer makes you weird.

Bedtime tonight. We are discussing Tink's class production of Strega Nona.

JACQUI: How did the play go today?

TINK: It was hilarious. This kid's hat fell off and he kicked it into the audience. It landed in front of some guy... (hijinks ensue) ...and then the paper pasta came landed on a fifth grader ... (more hijinks)...and he threw the hat and it kind of floated for a minute -- the door was open and some wind had come in and --

JACQUI: Wait. Tink. When did this story stop being true?

TINK: (chuckles in acknowledgement) Yeah. A long time ago.

JACQUI:

TINK: Can I finish now? It's a really good story.

JACQUI: Yeah sure.

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of Peleus' son Achilles,
murderous, doomed, that cost the Achaeans countless losses,
hurling down to the House of Death so many sturdy souls...

In which I remember not every book has to be a classic to be good.

Tink is a great reader. She can read anything she can get her hands on. And what does she pick?

Rainbow Magic Fairies.

It kills me. As I told a friend, every time she turns a page, a piece of my soul dies. But she's happy, and she's reading, and so, well, okay. I shut up.

And then yesterday she asked to go to the library. We returned the FIVE fairy books she got on Monday (because she had finished them by Monday night) and she got five more. I bit my tongue and tried to direct her towards some books whose strongest assets are not their glittery covers. Then she asked, "Where's nonfiction?"

I showed her the shelves (and gave her a mini-lesson in the Dewey Decimal System). She marched over to the books on Ancient Greece and began huffing, "Where is the ILIAD?"*

Bemused and marveling again at the power of a really good yarn to last for generations, I looked it up and we headed to section 883.

"These are all picture books," Tink complained. "I want the real Iliad."

"These are the real Iliad," I said. "It was written in Greek and people translate it. These are the real stories."

"The Iliad does not have pictures," she pointed out.

So we went upstairs to the adult poetry section and she took out this:

I decided that if I let her read Rainbow Fairy books without comment, I shouldn't say anything if she wants to try The Iliad.

"I'm going to read this," she announced.

"I believe it," I said.

"But sometimes I'm going to read these, like to relax," she said, holding up Evie the Mist Fairy.

Which is how it should be, I think.

We curled up on some cushions, Tink with her 683-page translation of The Iliad and me with The Friendship Ring: If You Only Knew, by Rachel Vail. Which is good too.


* They've been reading Trojan War stories in her reading group.

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Tink is very pleased you all enjoyed her piece on "Writers and How They Write." She will work on the next one as soon as she finishes her current book, Four of a Kind (a sequel, of course).

She is displeased, however, that I continue to call her "Tink" on this blog, as she has outgrown her obsession with Tinkerbell. Also, she is much stronger and funnier than Tinkerbell. Today, we tried to think of new nicknames for her. She suggested "Hermione." I suggested "Magoo," "Hot Shot McGraw," and "Princess Pajamabottoms," any of which I threatened to yell along with "I LOVE YOU!" when she got out of the car at school. All nickname ideas were vetoed; stay tuned.

On the topic of nicknames, Thor and I have a new one at home. Seems Tink's reading group has been studying Greek mythology/history. This morning Tink announced that from now on, she is going to address us as "Old People Of Troy."

Have a fun weekend, all.

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Long time visitors to Jacqui's Room will remember that every fall I try to catch a falling leaf* for luck. I haven't gotten to it this year, mainly because the weather went from summer to winter with just a breath of fall in between, followed by a few days of fall, some spring rain, and today is strangely, spookily still. All of this is, of course, prelude to Michigan winter, which fills my soul with dread and my attic with frozen beasts. Remind me again why I live in Michigan?

In any case, this week Tinkerbell came home from school and asked me to close my eyes and hold out my hands. When I did, she put a small, curved brown leaf on my palm.

"I caught it for you. Because it's shaped like a J and I knew you didn't have one yet."

And here I thought it couldn't get better than catching one myself. Winter? Bring it on.

* And if you're new, the leaf post is one of my favorites, and you should try it.

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In the new novel Legacy by Tom Sniegoski, a teenaged boy named Lucas finds out that his father - who has never been part of his life - is a superhero. How would you react if you discovered your parent was a superhero?

If you were a superhero, who would you be, and what superpowers would you possess? Would you like to slip into the costume of an existing superhero, like Batman, Wonder Woman, or Rogue, or would you rather be a character of your own creation? Tell us your heroic name.

Think outside the box: Instead of only picturing spandex-clad people flourishing their capes, consider everyday heroes. What can we learn from these unsung heroes?

Feel free to repost this prompt at your own blog, and leave your thoughts or the links to your own posts in the comments below!

I firmly believe that there's a hero inside each of us. As I recently posted in response to the wonderful What a Girl Wants: Holding Out for a Super Heroine post at the Chasing Ray blog: There are so many wonderful characters who save themselves rather than waiting around for someone else to rescue them. There are so many real people who do the same. The world would be a better place and populated with stronger people if we all had such personal conviction, strength, and determination, and the courage to be a hero. I challenge people every day to believe in themselves, to achieve their potential, and to strive for excellence.

That being said, I always smile when a close friend of mine calls me Supergirl. Please note that my superhero costume would be more modest than hers. It would be purple with matching fairy wings. Back in July, author and readergirlz diva Holly Cupala posted about the superhero image generator at The Hero Factory and, based on the options available, I created this.

Storywise - be the story bound in books, comics, or graphic novels, or expressed on stage or screen - I like characters who save themselves and others, rather than waiting around for someone else to save them. My favorite fictional characters tend to be are strong, bold, curious, and intelligent, such as Anne Shirley from the Anne of Green Gables books by L.M. Montgomery, Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Tinker Bell from Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie, various residents of Fantastica from The NeverEnding Story by Michael Ende, and Jenna Blake from the Body of Evidence books by Christopher Golden and Rick Hautala. True, they all needed help at times - think of Anne and the sinking dory - but they also were able to make their way through the world and the story due to their own resilience. They had strength (emotional strength, strength of character and conviction being more important to me than physical strength) and smarts. Some had more "traditional" heroic experiences: Anne saved lives, as did Jenna.

Back to the first question I posed in this piece: What would I do if I found out my parent was a superhero? I already know my mom is a hero - a single mother who raised two children, kept a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, food in our stomachs, love in our hearts, and smiles on our faces. She helped us and encouraged us. Even though I'm an adult, she is my most trusted confidante and biggest supporter. Simply put, she rocks.

She also appreciates Tom's sense of humor, but that's another story and will be told another time. :)

This just in: Legacy made the ALA BBYA & the ALA Quick Pick nomination lists! Woo hoo!

Learn more about Legacy by Tom Sniegoski:
http://www.sniegoski.com/legacy.html

Learn more about the author:
http://www.sniegoski.com/

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As you can imagine, Tink can be a little, um, creative when detailing how her day at camp or school has gone. And now this:

JACQUI: So what did you do at school today, Captain Destructo?
DESTRUCTO: I play on playground.*
JACQUI: Ooh!
DESTRUCTO: I go on ti-yah swing.
JACQUI: Great.
DESTRUCTO: Den dere a fi-yah drill.
JACQUI: A fire drill?
DESTRUCTO: Yeah. Dere fi-yah at my school!
JACQUI: There was a fire at your school?
DESTRUCTO: Yeah, but Grover come.
JACQUI: What?!
DESTRUCTO: It Super Grover! He fly down and save all the friends!
JACQUI: He did?
TINK: No, he didn't.
DESTRUCTO: He spray all the friends with his hose!
JACQUI: He did?
TINK: No, he didn't.
DESTRUCTO: He save everybody!
JACQUI: He did?
TINK: No, he didn't.
JACQUI: Tink. Enough.
TINK: Well, he didn't!
JACQUI: I KNOW THAT. But let him talk.
DESTRUCTO: (who has been talking all along and has, in fact, not taken a breath in three minutes) And den the friends all got to fly to Sesame Street on Grover's back and...
TINK: That wasn't GROVER!
JACQUI: Tink, that is your problem?
TINK: It wasn't Grover.
JACQUI: (fumes)
TINK: It was Oscar.

* But you have to imagine that he says 'l' like 'y' and it is absolutely adorable.

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Earlier today, I was wondering if perhaps one kid-free hour a day is not enough time in which to finish a novel, shower, work out and blog. In my head, I was penning a bloggy apology for once again having no Thursday inspiration for you.

And then this:

TINK: How is your book going, Mama?
JACQUI: Good, thanks for asking. But I had to cut the skeleton scene we worked on. It just didn't fit, you know?
TINK: Too bad.
JACQUI: But thanks for helping anyway; it got me thinking about other ideas.
TINK: I need your help with MY book, Mama. My series, actually.
JACQUI: You're writing a series?
TINK: Yeah, it's a series of silly books. There are going to be five of them. (sounding exactly like me when I am wrestling aloud with a plot problem) I already know what's going to happen in all of them, but I need some help with good titles. Can you think of some?
JACQUI: Well, what happens in them?
TINK: In the first one, the big idea has to do with the funky bunny village. Wait! I know. The first one is called The Funky Bunny Village. And the second one is going to be Charlie McKey is Not a Funky Bunny.*

Charlie McKey is Not a Funky Bunny. I LOVE it. Is it plagiarism if you steal from family?! Who will write me this book?

* FYI, rest of the series includes: Everyone Does Not Like to Play With Charlie McKey, Wait Up Charlie McKey, and The Funky Bunny Village Rises Again.

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I have important writing to do today involving disruptive beagles, 26 pounds of macaroni and cheese, and a tattered copy of The Canterbury Tales.* But I have to report an update on Tink's Fairy School.

Yesterday on the monkey bars, I learned that Tink is still accepting applications from her fellow students for fairy school. Apparently she has three students. Only one of them has made it to Level 12, where she will be taught to fly. The other two have been unable to advance past Level 11's invisibility challenge. Several other students have been denied spots in the class due to failure to believe enough or to having at some point chased girls. Sadly, class has been disrupted for disagreements: certain fairies swing from side to side too much when they skip a bar on the monkey bars, making it impossible for other fairies (who are less skilled at skipping but more skilled at not swinging) to pass them. This is fairy-frowned upon.

Also, one of the students wondered aloud if I knew that Tink only sleeps one hour a night, during her special one hour sleep time. After that she awakens and spends the rest of the night in fairyland.

Further revelations about fairyland were suspended while the girls pretended to be humans playing soccer. I will keep you updated as I gather more.

Meanwhile, I writhe with jealousy at how much more fun they have all day than I do.

---
Oops. Poem. I love love love Charles Ghigna's What's a Poem?, from today over at GottaBook.

* Have I mentioned a million times yet how much fun writing this book is???

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Really, the best part of being a writer is sometimes you write a chapter and are so in love with it that you laugh out loud at your own jokes when your critique group reads it aloud.* I love my new chapter.

Meanwhile, Tinkerbell was so charmed that I used her idea and then told you about it that she has made a generous offer to all visitors to Jacqui's Room.

Presenting, your thorny plot problems -- solved! Simply describe to Tinkerbell what has happened so far in your book and she will tell you what should happen next. You can email me or comment here, and Tinkerbell promises to plot your story for you. So next time you are stuck...ask Tinkerbell.

* And if you have as cool a critique group as I do, they don't then laugh out loud at YOU.

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In which I show why my children have no chance of turning out normal.

Tink is experimenting with sass. She's been testing us with "whatever" and eye rolls and other things that make me want to THROW HER somewhere. So last night she got sent to her room.* When she came down, she had on a straw explorers hat, a peasant skirt, knee socks with bright blue socks over them, and a pillow case full of her belongings.

TINK: Hello? Is anyone home?
DESTRUCTO: My play trains, Tinkerbell.
JACQUI: I'm glad you're back.
TINK: I'm not Tinkerbell. I'm Sarah, a traveller.**
JACQUI & THOR: ????
TINK: Yes, I travel all over. I have no job, so I must, um, travel. May I stay here a bit?
JACQUI: Certainly, you are welcome to rest your weary head in our home as long as you'd like, so long as you do not say "whatever."
THOR: From where have you travelled, Sarah?
TINK: I come from a small village in the Southern Canadian rainforest.
THOR: The Canadian rainforest?
TINK: Yes.
THOR: There's no -- (gets hit with dishrag).
DESTRUCTO: My play trains! My play trains, Tinkerbell!
TINK: Who is this Tinkerbell? Is she your daughter?
THOR: She was our daughter.
JACQUI: But we sold her to the circus monkeys*** because she was acting like a poop.
TINK: No! (whispers) Pretend I am just on vacation.
THOR: She is just on vacation.
JACQUI: With the evil circus monkeys we sold her to.
THOR: Who promised they wouldn't eat her.
JACQUI: Or beat her.
THOR: But frankly, they'll probably cut her up and sell her for parts.
JACQUI: Especially if she starts acting like a poop again.
TINK: Stop!
JACQUI & THOR: (snort snort giggle)
DESTRUCTO: MY PLAY TRAINS!
TINK: Is this your son? What is his name?
JACQUI: His name is Hambone. And I am Queen Pajama McHoogie.
TINK: Is there something shorter I can call you?
JACQUI: Yes, you may call me "Yes, Mama. Anything You Say Mama."
THOR: And you may call me Master of the Domain.
TINK: Those names are too long.
JACQUI: Then you may just call me Yes Mama.
THOR: And you can call me Master Dada.
TINK: How about just Dada?
THOR: Okay. Dada...Master.
TINK: How about something without Master in it?
THOR: Okay, you may call me Dada, Lord of all the Realm.
TINK: Sigh! What is this toy?
THOR: It's a special toy made out of the bones of our last house guest.
JACQUI: It's a tradition.
THOR: Yes, at the end of your stay, we decapitate you, steam you, and melt your bones into a mold shaped like a train.
DESTRUCTO: My play train.
JACQUI: Sarah, please hand the train back to Hambone. I mean, Prince Hambone, future Lord of all the Realm.
THOR: Master.
JACQUI: Master.
DESTRUCTO: Master.
TINK: Nnnnngh!
JACQUI: Where's she going?
THOR: I have no idea.

* "Go to your room" being the last "yes, I'm a mom" moment I hadn't yet experienced...
** You must read Tink's words in slightly British formal book speak.
*** Yes, I know, this is a terrible thing to say and probably offensive to actual circus monkeys. Apologies.

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Look! I'm on time this week with my review for Elise's Banned Book Challenge. For explanation, read here.

On to
Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week Two:
In the Night Kitchen
by Maurice Sendak

Mickey slides through the floor into the night kitchen, where he gets mistaken for milk, flies away in a plane made of dough, and dives into a milk jug to make sure we have cake in the morning.


My review: This book is weird. It's like Where The Wild Things Are in its dreaminess and fantastic imagination. However, it doesn't have the very familiar emotions that WWWTA has, so I found it a harder book with which to connect; where we know Max and see ourselves in him, we don't know much about Mickey except that he has really fun dreams.

I discussed it with Tink:

TINK: It's fine. I like it. It is funny. The thing I do not like is that at the beginning it looks like they (the bakers) are giants. But they are not, because that is a milk carton, and they are smaller than that. So I don't know what they are.
JACQUI: Tink, this is another one of those books some people think kids should not read.
TINK: Why?
JACQUI: Well, do you see this page?
TINK: Yeah. (has clearly not noticed boy is naked, or doesn't care) What about it?
JACQUI: Well, you can see his penis.
TINK: (giggle giggle) So?
JACQUI: So I guess those people don't think you should, um, I'm not sure. Maybe they don't want you to know what a penis looks like.
TINK: (overcome with giggles)
JACQUI: You know what some librarians did? They put a sticker right there, so kids couldn't see.
TINK: You are not supposed to put stickers in books.
JACQUI: No, you are not.
TINK: It's just a penis. (giggle so hard she snorts)
JACQUI: (to herself) Take that, book haters...

Note: I have since reread this book to Tink. I swear she never noticed Mickey was naked until I said something. Now, on every page, she points and says, "penis!" and cracks up. Sigh.

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Elise Murphy started it. She vowed to read a banned or challenged book a week until October 4, in honor of the ALA's Banned Books Week. She invited her readers to join her Banned Book Challenge.*

You should know that the topic of other people, particularly hateful, closed-minded people, telling me what it's okay for my children or me to read gets me so worked up that I can't post intelligently about it or I would end up in a big, bad-word-laden snabblefrug. My heartrate is skyrocketing just mentioning it here. Breathe, Jacqui, breathe. You can play with your closed-minded voodoo dolls later.

I wanted in on the challenge. But I already have too many books on my To Read list. So, I decided I would choose from amongst the many horrible, permanent-emotional-injury-causing banned and challenged picture books. I promised Elise I'd read one to my children each week, and post about it on Friday.** Which gives us a new temporary weekly feature here in Jacqui's Room:

Jacqui Reads Her Children Books That Other People Think Are Bad For Them

Week One:
And Tango Makes Three
by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell, illustrated by Henry Cole

The story of two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo who fell in love and raised baby Tango together. Based on a true story.


My review: I love this book. Borrowed it from the library and went out and bought it today. The story-telling is simple and straightforward, the illustrations adorable. The whole book rings with love and you can't help but get caught up in it.

I discussed it with Tinkerbell after we'd read it:

TINK: It was awesome.
JACQUI: What did you like about it?
TINK: Everything. I love everything. Can we read it again?
JACQUI: No, it's bedtime. Some other time. What did you not like about it?
TINK: Nothing.
JACQUI: Tink, there are some people who think kids shouldn't be allowed to read this book.
TINK: Why?
JACQUI: Well, remember when we talked about how there are some people who think men should only be allowed to fall in love with women, and women should never marry other women and all that?
TINK: (not at all making the connection) Yeah?
JACQUI: Well, those people worry because in this book a male penguin falls in love with another male penguin.
TINK: So?
JACQUI: So, those people worry that if you read this book you'll think it's okay for people who are the same to love each other.
TINK: So?
JACQUI: So they think then maybe you'll want to go out and marry another girl and be in love with her and they think that would be bad, bad, BAD.
TINK: That is dumb.
JACQUI: I think so.
TINK: Tango is so cute, Mama!
JACQUI: (to herself) Take that, book-haters...


*No, the challenge is not to see how many times I can use the words "banned books" in a tongue twisting paragraph. That part was accidental.
** Yes, I am well aware that Friday was yesterday. If only this were the only thing on which I am at least a day behind...

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I am thinking of Proust today, and of his remarkable ability to describe subtle, very specific moments of human emotion.

Tinkerbell turns six this weekend, in case you are one of the two or three people in the world to whom she has not already announced it. She's having a Spiderwick Chronicles theme birthday party.* Everyone is asked to dress as his or her favorite character in the Spiderwick books. Tink is going to be Mallory, I am to be the green-eyed elf, the Mighty Thor has been asked to impersonate an ogre, and Captain Destructo is, of course, a house brownie. Our whole house will be transformed into Spiderwick mansion, with the forest outside decorated** to hint at fairies and unicorns living there. The cake will be covered with spiders, enough for each of the 11 guests to have one, and will read "Happy Birthday" in the same font as the book covers. The kids will go on a giant scavenger hunt, pound flowers into handkerchiefs to dye them, and have the best. party. ever. At the end of it all, Tink will be six, 6, SIX! No more baby five-hood, good bye, she will fly away on big, grown-up fairy wings.

Or so she sees it. We will try. But the disconnect between how kids imagine their birthdays and how birthdays can ever really be is vast and disappointing, I know. And the feeling I am pondering comes at the birthday party. It's the "this is not how the party is supposed to go" feeling. It's the "this house doesn't look like the Spiderwick castle, and the field sprites are paper, and my friends are supposed to be doing what I say, not playing in the forest, and hey! I feel the same just like I did when I was five, and where is my big moment? Where is the Magic Moment that was supposed to happen? And, now I have to wait a whole year which might as well be forever to do it right this time?" feeling. It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Today, I am thinking about that feeling. That exact moment when you realize just how vast the disconnect between your dreams and reality is. Before you get depressed about it, when you are stunned and casting around for someone to blame. You know that feeling?

In the meantime, anyone have good ideas for a Spiderwick birthday cake???

*the books, not the movie, which she's never seen and probably won't for a while given that she still sometimes freaks out during the chase scenes in Curious George
**in an eco-friendly way, of course

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... but I certainly didn't stay up until 1:30am to finish Eclipse all in one night and Breaking Dawn* the next. No sirree, not me. I was busy reading Faust. What kind of dunderhead would stay up all night to find out if Bella picks the vampire or the werewolf when she has a book to revise, children to raise, a ... blog ... to ... wri ... zzzzzzzzzzz.

I hate myself.

I was so tired that I didn't realize what Tinkerbell was doing during the following conversation until it was too late:

TINK (to new friend's dad): You are very tall like her.
DAD: Yes.
TINK: And you have black hair, with like, some silver in it.
DAD: (laughs indulgently)
TINK: And you have that thing, that bump.
DAD (and JACQUI): ????
TINK: You know, that thing. You have that bump like her.
DAD (laughing less): What bump?
TINK: There.
JACQUI: (looks, notices small raised mole on new friend's dad's nose; reacting in slow motion due to Twilight-related exhaustion, thinks: Does she mean that mole? Who is "her?")
TINK: So you look just like her!
DAD: Who?
JACQUI: (catching on)(slow mo) Tiiiiiink! Noooooooo!
TINK: The wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz! You look just like her!


Coming soon to Jacqui's Room: How to End Your Novel, The Least You Need to Know: Agents, and Faust: the Jacqui's Room production...

*the third and fourth books in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight quad-rilogy? four-logy? series
** Oh, and for any fans out there. The answer to your next question is "Jacob. Definitely." Sigh.

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