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Do good writers “tell” stories? Well, not exactly.
Good writers “show” stories. To “show” a story instead of just “tell” it, you should include details that make the reader feel he is experiencing the story right along with the characters, rather than just hearing about it.
There are several ways to do this – through dialogue (we “show” the reader what the characters are saying to each other), through action (we “show” what the characters are doing), and through sensory details (we help the reader see, smell, taste, touch, and hear what is going on).
This is telling: Mary was sad.
That doesn’t show us much. It just tells us how Mary felt. But, can we really envision what’s going on with Mary? Probably not.
This is showing: Mary felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Then her eyes watered and her bottom lip started to quiver before she burst into tears.
This lets us “see” what’s happening to Mary, then we can figure out that she must be sad.
As writers you want to “take” readers to the action in the story.
Help them to feel as if they’re experiencing it firsthand.
For that, you need details.
And the best way to include details that “show” what’s going on is through action and dialogue.
But we can also “show” a scene through sensory images – describing how a particular time and place smelled, how it sounded, what it felt like, tasted like, and looked like.
Try These Practice Exercises
Each of the following sentences is “telling.” Change each one to “show” things – with dialogue or action, or sensory images, or a combination of all three.
1. My room was a mess.
2. It was a beautiful day.
3. Mark had a terrible cold.
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How did you do? Need some help?
Here are some sample changes to the sentences above that “show” instead of “tell.”
1. Where was my homework? I looked under the pile of Legos behind my bedroom door. Nope. I pulled dirty clothes, shoes, a green sandwich, and a rubber ball from under my bed. Not there either.
2. Sun soaked into my dark hair and sweater. I leaned back and took a deep breath. The smell of saltwater taffy and the sea filled me, and the breeze tickled my cheeks. I listened to the children laugh and the seagulls argue.
3. “Achoo!” Mark sat up in bed. His head throbbed and his nose dripped like an ice cube in July. He shuffled to the mirror. “Achooo!” SPLAT! At least he couldn’t see his puffy face through the goo. Mark shuffled back to bed.
Once you get the hang of “showing” instead of “telling,” you’ll never want to go back to simply “telling” a story again. “Showing” things in a story really makes every scene come to life for the reader.
If you need more help writing stories for children, join the Children’s Writers’ Coaching Club. Find out all the benefits of membership in the club here now!
