I've said here before that adverbial dialogue tags are a bit like bay leaves - you put 'em in at the beginning to get the flavour right, but you gotta take 'em out before you serve up.
But if used in a safe, controlled environment, adverbs can be fun! As evidenced by the existence of the Tom Swifty. Those of you who follow me on Twitter will have already seen these, but for the rest of you, here are my attempts:
'I just closed my eyes for like, FIVE SECONDS,' protested Little Bo Peep sheepishly.
'Do you hear the people sing?' asked Les miserably.
'You call this a seafood platter?' said Melissa crabbily. 'Where's the lobster?'
'You know there's a reason why nothing rhymes with orange,' she told the redhead gingerly.
'You know, there's something missing from this bouquet,' muttered Jo lackadaisically.
'This one is really loud - it goes up to eleven,' said Jacob amply.
'You see, I am a professional linguist,' he said cunningly.
'One for you, and one for your little dog,' clanked the Tin Man heartlessly.
'Here, why don't we swap gloves?' said the kitten intermittently.
Lili padded up to the edge. 'What is that frog sitting on?' she pondered wetly.
Your turn!
7 Comments on 'Whaddya mean, no adverbs?' asked Tom swiftly., last added: 11/10/2008
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"You're wrong - I brought this book back on time," she returned patronisingly.
oooo fun! Jelly was explaining these on the weekend. I particularly like the incomplete bouquet. I want to play...
'I suppose some people prefer having all the windows closed,' said Lady Alice stuffily.
'I assure you that this solar hot water heater will save you money in the long run,' said the sales rep energetically.
'It's done now and there's nothing I can do about it,' said Britney Spears baldly.
'What are you going to do, bleed on me?' said King Arthur disarmingly.
'It's really quite a short pool, isn't it,' said Ian swimmingly.
"Oh, you can cast your spell on me any time,' said Ms Granger charmingly.
‘Does anyone have an apple?’ Eve asked fruitlessly.
‘How much for these two crosswords?’ puzzled Penny quizzically.
‘Well - one plus one equals two,’ Albert answered summarily.
‘Three! Five! A beautiful set of numbers,’ Mr Fibonacci added sequentially.
‘Eleven,’ Nigel countered cryptically.
This is kind of addictive.
"Like a bridge over troubled waters," burbled Garfunkel artfully.
"But it's only a third of the amount I asked for," protested Demi fractiously.
"Mmm, good coffee, Mario,' said Mario belattedly.
"You should throw this whole idea off the back of a boat!" said Scott sternly.