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Spoiler Warning: If you have not read all 7 Harry Potter books, read at your own risk. (I may be an evil cousin, but no one should be robbed the experience of reading the Harry Potter series.) However, if you haven't read them by now, shame on you. Stop reading this review and go read the bloody series!

We've all heard such timeless (Disney) classics as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. These are our beloved childhood bedtime stories, our fairy tales. Well, Wizards and Witches have classic fairy tales too! Five of which can be found in the Wizarding classic The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Just like Muggle fairy tales, each of the five stories deals with a different theme and teaches a lesson. However, as a Muggle, it may be difficult to truly grasp all of the lessons taught by Beedle the Bard. To help us better understand these magical tales, Albus Dumbledore has kindly given extensive commentary on each tale. (The commentary was published without Dumbledore's consent. It was found among his other belongings after his dead.)

Anyone who has read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is at least vaguely familiar with this book of tales. Hermione receives a copy, from Dumbledore if I am not mistaken. Well, Rowling decided to publish a copy of Beedle's tales for Muggle enjoyment. All the sales go to the Children's High Level Group, a charity that provides support to children in need. The children tend to be poor, disabled, or from ethnic minorities. If you want to support a lovely charity AND get a little light-hearted reading on the side, or vice versa, this is definitely the book for you.

If you are still not convinced that this book is worth the buy, here is my criticism of the book (which happens to be mostly good).

The tales themselves are nothing special. They're mostly just cute. The stories are imaginative, but they're nothing like the books. The books are very long, detailed, and everything mentioned seems to have some significance before the series ends (which is one of the reasons I love Rowling's writing so much). These tales are short. There's no time for that kind of no-loose-ends writing. However, Rowling makes up for it by adding Dumbledore's commentary. His words are thoughtful, witty, and all around awesome! Not only does he add insight into the theme and lesson of each story. He also rambles on about little side notes (from letters between himself and Lucius Malfoy to his criticism of Madam Bloxam's revised version of Beedle's "The Wizard and the Hopping Pot"), both of which were quite humorous to say the least. Dumbledore will keep you alternating between the thinker pose (hand stroking the chin) and simply laughing uncontrollably and a variation of a giggle fit.

All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed Beedle's tales. The book is a very quick read, which was rather disappointing to me, but it's still a great little book.

I give The Tales of Beedle the Bard a respectable 3.5 daggers out of 5.







Yours without magic,
Gabriel Gethin

Melinda is entering Merryweather High School with no friends, no voice, and seemingly no hope. During an end-of-the-summer party, she called the cops. Now, all her old friends won't talk to her and all the people she doesn't know hate her blindly. Since Melinda feels that her parents wouldn't understand, the safest place to be is inside her head. Melinda at first finds a sort of comfort isolated within herself, but it doesn't last. Lurking in the depths of her own mind is a demon. A memory, of the party, which she dare not remember. A thought which she dare not say. Slowly, it eats away at her, threatening to swallow her from within. Slowly suffocating, Melinda is faced with a choice. To speak, or to surrender to the spectre that haunts her thoughts.

What makes Speak such an original work of art is its dynamic mood. At the beginning of the novel, Melinda has clearly been through something major. She also has no friends. This combination has given Melinda a depressed, cynical, and sarcastic view on high school and life in general. What makes this a good thing is the fact that Melinda presents high school in a refreshingly candid, satirical way. My personal favorite example of this is her "The First Ten Lies They Tell You In High School" list. I choose not to give them all away but among them is, "No smoking is allowed on school grounds" and my personal favorite, "These will be the years you look back fondly." This book will make you laugh, unless of course you have no sense of humor at all, which would be a shame since the comedy in this book makes really good points on high school sociology.

Dynamic means characterized by constant change, activity, or progress. So clearly, the book is not just a long satirical attack on high school. There are others moods involved. The opposite mood stems from Melinda's own subconscious. There is conflict within her. She is trying, vainly, to suppress a thought, a memory, in her mind. Doing so arguably drives her insane. She experiences agonizingly acute anxiety, dangerously deep depression, and stifling self-silence. As the book progresses, the emotions Melinda feels become more potent. In the end, the book becomes very very intense so be warned. This book is not a fairy tale filled with rainbows after storms and kisses after poison-apple-based "death."

Bottom line (figuratively, not literally): Speak is powerful. Speak is intense. Speak is witty. Speak is dynamic. Speak is a good book. It is well-rounded and it relates well to teenagers. I advise reading it at least once just for the experience of it. Even if you're not a depressed person, it's good to see the world through Melinda's eyes because there are a lot of people who see the world a similar way.

I give Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson a (relatively) unheard of 5 out of 5 stars.







Acerbically yours,
Gabriel Gethin

E. Lockhart just sent us this BAD home movie, with some Bad singing and dancing by two of the original 3 Evil Cousins, Avery and Aislinn.

Young Mazzy is living with her mother while her dad is on a week long business trip. Everything is fine... except that Dad left about a month ago and Mom never gets out of bed. Mazzy thinks she can handle it. She takes care of her mom and people bring them food too, but when the government gets involved, Mazzy is forced to talk to her dad. Mazzy knows everything is fine, but when the government disagrees, everything is not fine.