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When I checked the post on Saturday I saw a familiar A4 white envelope with the address written in my own handwriting. Now usually this means one thing another rejection. Well it was in a way – it was the short story assessment from Writer’s Forum magazine. The form is broken down into different sections including opening, title, characters, language and ending. Then there is a choice of description that the reader can pick with a score next to it. For example title: Suited the story – 10, room for improvement 5, and try again 0. There are also four sections for the reader to add more detailed comments. Finally there is a page of typed general hints that are not specific to your entry and then a total and explanation as to what the overall scores mean. My story ‘Ninety nine per cent’ about the space chimp programme scored 150 (out of a maximum out of 230.) Ham the space chimp This meant it qualified for second read and there was also a tick next to highly commended (130+) . The form explains: “After an initial assessment the manuscript is either rejected or passed to another reader for a second opinion. At that stage it is either rejected or short listed for the attention of the editor and publisher. My story scored better for the early parts but the reader felt it needed a more exciting finish. This seemed a very fair comment to me as I can struggle with the endings of some short stories and I may well take another look at my story. They also said: “Confident writing, great premise for story, good characters in the chimps, lots of research and accurate detail.” But they went on to say: “But what is the theme? Too ambiguous for short story,” with some suggestions as to what needed fixing. Overall I was pleased with the comments and thought they were excellent at showing where improvements could be made. Writers’ Forum run a writing competition every month in their magazine including the application form – which can also be downloaded from their website at www.writers-forum.com Entry is £10 (£7 for subscribers) including a critique like mine. It did take a little while for them to reply. You also need to include biographical details (50 words maximum) and if chosen they will need a photograph of you. Stories should be between 800 and 3000 words. The Prizes are: £300 1st prize, £150 2nd prize and £100 3rd prize.

Recently several friends have been on the receiving end of some very bad blurb etiquette and they have requested that I set the world straight about how blurbage should actually work. I live to serve.

What is a blurb? It’s the little quotes that typically appear on the back of a book saying how wonderful it is. For instance here is what Libba Bray has to say about How To Ditch Your Fairy:¹

Justine Larbalestier has a super-cool writing fairy, and I am vastly jealous! Thoroughly entertaining, totally enchanting, wickedly funny, and 110% doos, How To Ditch Your Fairy had me grinning from page one (when I wasn’t laughing out loud). And as soon as I can figure out how to do it I’m going to ask to swap fairies with Justine.

—Libba Bray, New York Times Bestselling author of A Great and Terrible Beauty

A while back I talked at length about my policy on blurbs. The short version is: Yes, I am happy to look at books and if I love them I will blurb them.² Turns out that there are other aspects of blurbage that I did not cover. Mostly because I did not know these things happen. But apparently they do.

1. Never offer to swap blurbs with an author. “Hey, I have a book coming out. If you blurb it I’ll blurb your book!” This is a terrible idea. I may be a blurb purist but all the authors I know only blurb books that they enjoyed reading. They do not blurb books because that person blurbed their book and they especially don’t do that for someone who has never had a book published before and therefore has no track record. Blurbs are supposed to help to sell books but they’re useless if no one knows who the blurber is.
2. If the author who agreed to look at your book does not get back to you DO NOT bug them. There are several reasons for not blurbing a book such as not liking it, not having time to read it, and losing said book. Putting the author in the position of having to explain which reason applies is not fair. No author wants to explain to another why they didn’t like their book well enough to blurb it. Just assume it was lack of time.
3. There is nothing wrong with receiving a blurb from a friend unless of course that’s the only reason they’re doing it. I blurbed Cassie Clare’s City of Bones because I could not put it down. I loved it. The reason I know some of the wonderful writers who have blurbed me—Karen Joy Fowler, Samuel R. Delany, Libba Bray, Holly Black—is because I love their writing. They are my friends because of writing. None of them would blurb my books if they weren’t into them. It’s not worth our reputations to blurb books of varying quality. Every author I know has said no to blurbing a book by a friend. It’s awkward, but not as awkward as having your name eternally on the back of a book you don’t love.
4. Never claim to have a blurb from an author if that is not the case. If the author in question has agreed to look at your book with the possibilty of providing a blurb that DOES NOT mean they are going to blurb you. I looked at several books last year and blurbed none of them. The author has agreed to read your book NOTHING more. If you go around boasting that you have a blurb when you don’t odds are it will get back to the author, who will then be much less inclined to blurb you. This is a very small industry. Word gets around.

This last point leads to a bigger point: Anyone who advises you that lying: claiming blurbs you don’t have, doctoring your publications list, claiming non-existent connections etc. etc. is a good way to get “your foot in the door” is full of it.

Don’t do this. Not ever.

Finding out that someone you have NEVER met is using your name to get ahead is vastly cranky-making. Also in the age of the internet it’s almost impossible to get away with these shenanigans. Google knows when you lie.

I think that about covers it, but if I’ve missed anything do please let me know.

1. My apologies for the skiting, but I love this blurb.
2. In practice I do not blurb many books because I do not love very many.

One of my authors was briefly heartbroken for the last two weeks because her pride and joy--her book, which, obviously, I believe in very thoroughly--had been rejected and rejected again by everyone we approached to blurb it. It's an important book on an important topic, and my author began to question--was it her content? Did she mess up? Did she not write well enough? Was the topic less