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1. Big catch up post

Home from the road. Today was quiet, all walks and bees. (While I was away Lorraine and Sharon had a Bee Adventure. Today I checked on the bees and they were all happy.)

Book Expo America was terrific but amazingly long -- my Friday began around 6.00am (getting ready for the author breakfast) and finished around 11:15pm (shortly before the end of the Audie awards, at which I was a presenter), with, on the way, a two and a half hour signing and an hour signing and a Graveyard Book meeting about how we're going to do the US tour in the autumn (the plan is to do a reading tour rather than a signing tour, closer than the Cody's event I did for Fragile Things which you can watch at Fora TV -- http://fora.tv/2006/10/02/Neil_Gaiman).

The first signing was a bit of a mess -- they'd scheduled it for the second the breakfast was meant to have ended, but it ran late and I was the last speaker and so didn't even get up to talk until after that, and they'd given out 350 tickets for an hour's signing (10.2 seconds per person ) with no real thought as to how they'd get those people through the line in that time. Which was why it was a two and a half hour signing instead of being an hour signing. The second signing, of The Dangerous Alphabet with Gris Grimly, was a lot less hectic (and we met Berkely Breathed, signing at a nearby table, and I got to be a fanboy).

I loved the breakfast -- Jon and Eoin and Judy and Sherman are the best and funniest people, and my only regret was that we didn't get any time together afterwards.





The breakfast. Left to Right: Me, Jon, Eoin, Sherman, Judy. Jon Sczieska is mostly hidden by a photographer. Also, it's pronounced Sheska.



At the end of the breakfast all 1200 people descended upon us (well, it felt like it). I signed one book before I was swept away to do my own signing...




Judy Blume and me. She was so funny and so nice and so very, very sharp.





Gris Grimly and I signed Dangerous Alphabets for people. He asked if we could trade the portraits we did of each other in the back of the book, and I had to admit that I suspected that I'd left the one I did of him in Dave McKean's studio, as I drew it there, and Dave scanned it for me and we sent it off. So I shall investigate.


Saying hello to (and exchanging Douglas Adams reminiscences with) Berkeley Breathed. I signed a book for him. He signed a book for me. I love my life

[Coincidentally, as I typed that, the phone rang. It was Berkeley Breathed trying to get an email address for me that worked, as he'd been given my old bigfoot.com address, which I've stopped using as it worked, well, barely. I just got to tell him how the person buying Bloom County collections from Forbidden Planet in 1985, that was me!]

Saturday was less stressful but just as crammed. Entertainment Weekly had asked for a photo of me for an upcoming special issue, and they sent a stylist and some clothes along. I went into this very warily: this is the third EW shoot since the blog started. The first was at the House on the Rock in 2001, and was a bit of an endurance test: I stood beside the World's Largest Carousel for several hours unable to communicate with the photographer over the noise of the music; the next was in 2003, and was again something of an endurance test: I almost bit through my tongue and the resulting image was a very good photo of somebody who didn't look like me at all secretly sucking on an ice cube to stop the bleeding.

This time it was... pleasant. Christopher McLallen was the photographer, and he was great. No clenching of teeth or whirring fans, no eternal carousel music and huge automatic drums making it too loud to talk or think. They put me in a black jacket and a black on black stripy tee shirt, and then in a pin-stripe suit that felt so Gomez Addams I found myself humming the Vic Mizzy TV theme (not the song, but the bit of incidental music where people walk up the path to the house) while the photos were taken.

I don't really ever wear suits, but if I did, I'd wear that one.



The nice lady you can see in this picture (who has had to run out every few minutes to unrumple or uncrease me) is Joey Tierney, the stylist. Just behind me, Heather the assistant is moving a light.

From there to a PEN event, to a CAA event, to a Harper Collins event, and finally to dinner, which I found using my phone and the new magic free version of Google Maps for phones that turns your phone into a GPS system.

...

Right. Lots of links and things to post, so I can close some tabs....

Claudia Gonson does a mix tape.

Harlan Ellison on Studio 360.

A 58 year old lady in Japan was arrested for secretly living in a someone's closet.

Thea Gilmore interviewed in the Guardian. (And I sigh, because though it's an article saying that she's one of the finest living singer-songwriters, it's in the women's lifestyle pages, rather than being the lead article in their music and arts pages.)

The end of the Endicott Studio.

Lisa Snellings Clark makes strange, magical art things out of the honey and bees that I sent her.

(And then, being Lisa, she puts the things up on eBay for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund.

Here's Bee, Honey, Drones and a Poppet

and here's the Queen bee in repose)

A miracle fruit that does strange things to the taste buds.

The Library Journal recommends books on fantastic cities and urban magic. Meanwhile the Guardian just recommends books that will take you to magical places.

Julian Gough stole Will Self's pig.

And finally,

Hi Neil,

I'm sure others have pointed this out already, but ... you should have said "the perils of therianthrophy". "Lycanthropy" refers specifically to werewolves; "therianthropy" refers to all breeds of animal shapeshifter. After discovering they're still active, I'd be careful about unwittingly insulting them ...Matt

I always wonder why people get most pedantic about things they've got wrong. I've done it myself, sometimes here on this very blog. When I was about ten my favourite article in the huge and mouldering Encyclopedia Brittanica we owned (the ninth edition) was the one on Lycanthropy. (Yes, I had a favourite 1890s Britannica article when I was ten. I am now aware this is not entirely usual.) I read it over and over and even wrote what I fancied was a highly original dramatic short story set in a police station in which a woman transformed herself into a cat (or possibly vice versa, time has fuzzed the details).

When I was ten I was the kind of child who would have taken enormous pleasure in telling you that,

LYCANTHROPY is a term used comprehensively to indicate a belief, firmly rooted
among all savages, and lingering in the form of traditional superstition among
peoples comparatively civilized, that men are in certain circumstances
transformed temporarily or permanently into wolves and other inferior animals.
In the European history of this singular belief, wolf transformations appear as
by far the most prominent and most frequently recurring instances of alleged
metamorphosis, and consequently in most European languages the terms expressive
of the general doctrine have a special reference to the wolf. Examples of this
are found in the Greek lukanthropos, Russian volkodlák, English were-wolf,
German währwolf, French loup-garou. And yet general terms (e.g., Latin,
versipellis; Russian, óboretne; Scandinavian, hamrammr; English, turnskin,
turncoat
) are sufficiently numerous to furnish some evidence that the class of
animals into which metamorphosis was possible was not viewed as a restricted
one. It is simply because the old English general terms have been long diverted
from their original signification that the word "lycanthropy" has recently been
adopted in our language in the enlarged sense in which it has been defined
above.



You can read the whole article at http://www.1902encyclopedia.com/L/LYC/lycanthropy.html

You can read the longer and different 1911 Britannica article, which states, Although the term lycanthropy properly speaking refers to metamorphosis into a wolf (see Werwolf), it is in practice used of transformation into any animal at --

http://www.1911encyclopedia.org/Lycanthropy

And now I'm going to take the dog for a walk. The next few days will be spent in the KNOW studios in St Paul recording THE GRAVEYARD BOOK audio.

(All photos by the wonderful Cat Mihos.

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2. 35 -- Smile, You're On Candid Camera!

NOTE: This blog is a continuing dialog between the two faces of rilla. The identity crisis is explained (if such a thing is possible) in the first edition. Click here to read: 1 -- Introduction


Rilla: Humph! No people in my pictures! That’s what rilla says. Does she even look at my pictures? LOOK at all these people I photographed while we were in India. There are so many everyday images I captured, so many expressions... like the shy smile of the dishwasher halfway up the mountain to the fort...


rilla: Rilla doesn't know I'm here... look at her getting all huffy at me when she thinks I'm not around. Shy smile indeed... such cheek to sneak in here and write this blog without me.
Rilla: ...and the skill of the women balancing humongous pots of water on their heads. What a feat. Can you imagine if that skanky rilla had to carry all the water she used everyday on top of her head... hah!


rilla: Me? What about her? Doesn't even want two different handles for hot and cold on the faucet... no... it's got to be a mixer... that's how lazy she is.
Rilla: And look at this old lady! Will I be able to carry such a burden when I'm her age and cross the street. Heck no, I can't even cross the street in India now!


rilla: Chicken!
Rilla: The perplexed look on this elegantly dressed gentleman... hey, she's taking a picture of me, should I smile or look wise? Seems like he did both, to end up with that perfect Mona Lisa smile!


Rilla: Oooh... this poor lad just got caught without his helmet! Oops. The cop's taken away his license! How's he going to wangle his way out of that one? Should have known better dude! Cost you a couple of hundred at least!



Rilla: Ooh la la! Now that's style. Look at 'em high heels go.


Rilla: I love the street vendors. This kid's selling pens and soooo proud of it!


Rilla: You want color... I'll give you color!



Rilla: And get a load of this guy. He's selling... mm... he's got... mm... tiki dolls?


Rilla: Cute little ducky,


...wait a minute, she's selling the same thing... only she's a little more pushy, and has cool teeth decorations.



Rilla: Hmm... now I'm hungry. Bring on the food. Yummy, crunchy cucumber, sour-sweet barrow fruits and those little dark red ones, never did know what they were called...


Rilla: This is the kind of spread I'm looking for. Corn cobs roasted over smoldering charcoal, rubbed with lime juice, salt and chilli powder. Yummy. Dad and my favorite roadside snack. Memories.


And speaking of Dad, here's his fruit vendor,still going strong after all these years.


Rilla: Flowers for your hair anyone? Fragrant jasmine, elegant tuberose?


rilla: Sheesh, now she's trying to be poetic all of a sudden. Poor child... sigh...
Rilla: Oh and how can I forget the bull charmer! Special for the festival dussera.


Rilla: That sneaky camel. He shows up everywhere.


Rilla: The cook's granddaughter. Isn't she a cutie?


Rilla: Time for the bath and who's helping mom, it's uncle!


Rilla: This portrait is one of my masterpieces. It is from my blue period...


rilla: Blue period... what airs. Oops... oh no... here it comes... wait for it...
Rilla: WHA…? Where did this come from? Who… rilla? rILLAHHHH! How dare you touch my camera… how dare you take pictures with my precious…
rilla: You said you were putting up pictures of people, I thought I'd help...


Rilla: That's not a person... that's a, a...
rilla: The angel from the top of our Christmas tree. Isn't she gorgeous? I love...
Rilla: You haven't answered my question! How dare you touch my camera?
rilla: Your camera? When did it become your camera?
Rilla: Since it came in the mail on my birthday.
rilla: It's my birthday too you know.
Rilla: But the card was addressed only to me. It said Happy Birthday Rilla. No mention of you...
rilla: So I guess you're not interested in what the tree looks like, hey? The ornaments?
Rilla: Ornament? That's a...
rilla: Flying pig! Isn't she adorable?


rilla: And these are the ones you picked up in India.



Rilla: Good grief. Have time for such fripperies as Christmas decorations, have you?
rilla: Time must be made for such fripperies or one would go insane.
Rilla: Doesn't seem to have helped you any... Hey, look at him. He's cute. That's exactly how I feel right now with all the Christmas cookies I've eaten.


rilla: That's how you look too!
Rilla: Oh, the fireplace. Neat!

Rilla: Wait a minute. THERE'S NO STOCKING UP FOR ME!
rilla: Calm down. You can have mine. It's the red one on the right. Big deal. It's empty anyway.
Rilla: Empty?
rilla: Well, let me know the minute you discover who gives Santa his gifts and I'll hire her.
Rilla: Oh. Hey, I'll stuff your stocking, if you stuff mine!
rilla: It's a deal! I love surprises!
Rilla: So. You done decorating?
rilla: No. See, I was putting bows up the staircase. But the rest of them have gone missing. I can't find them anywhere.



Rilla: Ha ha ha.
I know who took your Christmas bows.
Smile,
bow burglars--
YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA!














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