Presents for bibliophiles are always difficult to find. The eternal, unanswerable question is: Which book to buy them when they’re likely to have already read it and everything around it?
List masters Buzzfeed have compiled a handy list of complementary gifts, for those who have read everything. Their recommendations include the:
- iPhone book doc, from which’s pages bass clearly blasts
- a text-imprinted scarf [ostensibly insert passages from your favourite book here]
- invisible bookshelves (because as any bibliophile will attest, there’s no such thing as too many bookshelves)
- a tongue-in-cheek what I call a sloppy-joe jumper (although I have no idea who this sloppy Joe was and why he warranted such an unflattering but oh-so-comfy warming device named after him). It might not be a jumper fit for public consumption, but it’s perfect attire for comfortably quarantining yourself until you uncomfortably bash out a bestselling tome (the ‘I like big books and I cannot lie’ is likely to be the only thing that will make you smile when your brain is numb and bleeding from trying to get coherent words on a page). It’s best worn with tea- or chocolate-stained boxer shorts or leggings
- a text-laden brooch that makes me want to press pages of my favourite books to shapes of props relevant to key plot points or to leading characters’ mannerisms
- a text-imprinted tea towel akin to city/surburb stop artworks that I’ve long, long coveted
- luggage tags that reference such travelogues as Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, which, frankly, lends itself to an infinite number of cultural references.
The reason I came across this list is because I’m a) procrastinating and b) brainstorming some present ideas for a friend’s impending birthday (I like to think it’s weighted towards the latter). Either way, I’m getting distracted and one-for-you-one-for-me carried away.
I’m still rather chuffed at my genius at giving my brother a Star Wars Cookbook a few Christmases ago. Recipes include Boba Fett-Uccine, Crazy Cantina Chili, and everybody’s favourite Wookie Cookies.
I’m also eyeing off the Unofficial Downton Abbey Cookbook and the Unofficial Hunger Games Cookbook, although with their focus on meaty recipes, neither is unlikely to be suitable for me. (I’ve heard an Unofficial Game of Thrones Cookbook also exists, although the same unsuitability rules still apply.)
The Zombie Survival Guide is always a winner of a gift, for both bibliophiles and those not book-inclined. I was reminded of its existence today when I arrived at my newly assigned university desk to find one of my colleagues had drawn a mindmap about how the zombie is culturally coded.
Which of course reminds me that with my return to uni, most—if not all—fun reading has had to be put away. Maybe book-themed tea towels and luggage tags are exactly what I’m going to need to see me through my degree …