Today is my daughter Maddy's birthday. She was seven when I started this blog. She's about to turn sixteen. We went out this morning (well, technically yesterday morning) together looking for a car for her - she's spent the last month on the internet, hunting for cars in the price range I've given her than she wouldn't be ashamed to be seen driving. And she found one, and we test-drove it, and now she's going to be a girl with a car, and I feel just a bit older, because my youngest child is driving.
I wish she'd come and guest-blog some more, but she says she's self-conscious, as she meets strangers who tell her how much they like it when she blogs, and she would hate to disappoint them. She's the funniest person I know, has the sweetest disposition and the sunniest smile, and I love being with her, whether we're going around the world together having adventures or just watching The Big Bang Theory.
HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, MADDY GAIMAN
..........................................................................................................................................................................
I'm flying to the UK on Sunday for the Doctor Who table read on Tuesday. This morning I was sent the producers' "this is what we can afford" edited draft of my Doctor Who script. I'll do a polish on that. And then we're pretty much done. I think. I hope. I pray.
(Seeing a few people have asked, writing a Babylon 5 episode was much simpler: I think it was two drafts. But it was all existing sets and basically no special effects. My Doctor Who episode is Bigger in every way, inside and outside: I've asked them for the impossible, and they've knocked themselves out to give it to me, and when they can't they've managed to somehow give me the very improbable.)
...
Neil,
I am preparing to have about 12 super reluctant Jr High boys listen to a CD of the Graveyard Book, as they follow along in their books. I haven't been able to find any lesson plans on this book. Will you please take a minute to tell us a little about the background of this book, and maybe some additional graveyard ideas you left out. We are pretty excited to get started.
Thanks, Dianne the Librarian
I asked Elyse Marshall from Harper Childrens, and she said:
posted by Neil
Two of my children have grown up and gone away, and I have one left at home (here seen piloting her invisible plane, in a photo by Kyle Cassidy). And it's Father's Day, which seems like the best time to mention how much I enjoy, and appreciate, being a father. I've learned more from being a father than from anything else I've done, any books I've read, anything I've studied, anyone I've spoken to. It's a good thing being a father, if you enjoy it, which I do. So this is where I say thank you to Mike and to Holly and to Mads, for teaching me so much. And for being smart and loving and funny.
Last night Maddy told me she has Planned Things for today. I do not know what these things are. She and her friends have not yet woken from their sleepover. Last night I used them as guinea pigs to test out some BPAL prototype scents Beth had sent in my direction. Last year's
Snow Glass Apples scent and booklet was a huge success when it was released at Comic-con, both as a scent and as a snapped-up CBLDF benefit unique thing (
here's a CBLDF link to what appears to be the last few copies/bottles in the world). This year's scent is remarkable. I forgot it was meant to be a secret, and cheerfully unbagged the cat on Twitter, but will be slightly more circumspect here and say only that it is a scent that will accompany a short story that appears in
Fragile Things and
M is Magic, concerning the eating of things.
(Beth,
Goddess of BPAL, sent me three different versions of the scent in question, and let me choose. I picked the version with Raisins and Smoke, but without Beer. For some reason the beer made it smell like coconuts, when applied to skin. Everything Beth does is alchemy and magic as far as I am concerned.)
Over on CBC's
Definitely Not the Opera, the wonderful Sook-Yin Lee interviewed me about being a father and being a son, and that's now up in their Father's Day special. (It's a really good interview, much of it stuff I don't recall being asked in interviews before. It starts about 55 minutes in, and ignore the awkward link-edit at the beginning that makes it sound like I'm saying that my small son and I were newlyweds.) The MP3 file is at
http://podcast.cbc.ca/mp3/dnto_20090620_17235.mp3
This writer has a list of "Five Things Someone Else Should Do."
http://www.omnivoracious.com/2009/06/leave-an-idea-take-an-idea-five-things-someone-else-should-totally-do.html
(Sorry about the awkward link). Among them is "Ideas in Abundance," taking Madoc's outpouring of ideas in "Calliope" and actually writing stories around them. Have you ever considered authorizing such an anthology?The writer in question is the remarkably brilliant China Mieville, who is smart and prolific and a nice guy to boot.
And no, I don't think I could officially authorise such an anthology (given that the Sandman is owned by DC Comics.) If someone did it, however, on the web or on paper, I would be delighted.
Hi again
I was looking at my new-from-Amazon Crazy Hair book (pretty pictures, lovely rhymes), when something seemed a bit odd. Did you change the second line? I remember you reading it three years ago, and I remember something like "I am thirty, Bonnie's three".
Now I see it's "We were standing silently" or something like that.
Just out of curiosity, am I right, and why did you change it?
ETI changed it because, when Dave had finished the illustrations (and it took him many years to do
Crazy Hair), Bonnie really did not look like she was three. Not even a little bit. And it seemed much easier, and quicker, for me to change the line than to ask Dave to repaint every page.
Hi Neil,
"The native dragons of the British Isles"
The term British Isles is a bit of a sore point.
I'm an Irish fan of yours. The term British Isles suggests Ireland as part of the Isles. We are no longer part of Britain and up to the point of the vikings you mentioned we were not part of Britain either. I know it might seem like a silly point to you but the term still strokes a lot of old wounds with people here. And I know it was not intentional, so I thought I would clarify for the future.
I hope the writing is flowing and all is well in your world,
DeclanAh, there. I managed to give offense while just trying to figure out a way of talking about the places that these stamps were sold. If it's any comfort, I wasn't thinking about Ireland while writing that sentence. (And just read the
Wikipedia discussion with fascination.)
Hi Neil -
you may want to let your readers know that in addition to the presentation pack you can also purchase postcards of the stamp designs - which will be absolutely perfect for filling the conspicuous Neil Gaiman bumpersticker void. (Seriously, please tell the Neverwear people to get some bumperstickers up - the 'How to talk to girls at parties' art or the 'lil Sandman would be fabulous... If I were creative enough, I'd make a black & white bumpersticker w/the silhouettes of the Endless on it, but alas - my skills are lacking.)
I just ordered both from the US with no problems, btw.
Thanks for the stories!
I'll get onto it. Any Neverwear suggestions should be directed at Kitty, at her blog: http://kittysneverwear.blogspot.com/
Hey Neil,
Wayward young writer here.
I have a question concerning characters. Most of the writers I respect seem to create autonomous characters inside their own mind. This process sounds mad and delightful and impossible, at the moment.
I feel that my characters are glaring flaws in my stories. I want them to feel real and sovereign to my whims, instead of contrivances.
If you have any time to bestow some advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Just a revelatory aphorism or two.
Also, thank you for so many wonderful stories. Your stuff is guiltless pleasure reading.
Sincerely,
Dan KellyWhen I was a young writer I would come up with stories, and then put characters into them. And each of the characters would often feel like, in Thurber's words, "a mere device".
I think the breakthrough for me came when I started writing comics -- because I believed in them. Because sometimes I would be using characters I hadn't created, but simply cared about. And over the next few years I learned that if you cared enough about your characters, what happened to them was interesting.
I'm not sure that's much of an aphorism, but it's important to care about them, about who they are and what they do. And (for me) for them to be people I would want to spend time with -- I don't really care whose side they are on, and they can be monstrous on the outside or, worse, on the inside, but you still have to want to spend time with them. If you met one of these characters socially would you talk to them, or make an excuse and flee?
(As a sidenote, I think the years I spent as a journalist doing interviews for magazines really helped as well. I learned a lot about speech patterns, and ways of describing people, and letting their words describe them. But more importantly, I learned that if you are actually interested, and not faking it, people will tell you anything, and you will take pleasure in their company. So my suggestion for any young writer is, talk to people, especially people you would normally avoid talking to. Find out their stories. Figure out how you would put them into stories, if you would, or just describe them with a few words.)
Hello Mr. Gaiman,
My question, or requested suggestion, is how to properly utilize personal tragedy to fuel writing. For reasons that do not bear explanation, someone that was unhealthily important to me has left, and I have continually tried to use it as inspiration, but it's having quite the contrary effect.
I have the kind of free time any writer would dream about, but none if it is productive, and I would like it to be.
So, again, any words of wisdom would be very appreciated. And if not, I understand given your busy schedule.
Thank you either way.I don't think immediate tragedy is a very good source of art. It can be, but too often it's raw and painful and un-dealt-with. Sometimes art can be a really good escape from the intolerable, and a good place to go when things are bad, but that doesn't mean you have to write directly about the bad thing; sometimes you need to let time pass, and allow the thing that hurts to get covered with layers, and then you take it out, like a pearl, and you make art out of it.
When my father died, on the plane from his funeral in the UK back to New York, still in shock, I got out my notebook and wrote a script. It was a good place to go, the place that script was, and I went there so deeply and so far that when we landed Maddy had to tap me on the arm to remind me that I had to get off the plane now. (She says I looked up at her, puzzled, and said "But I want to find out what happens next.") It was where I went and what I did to cope, and I was amazed, some weeks later when I pulled out that notebook to start typing, to find that I'd written pretty much the entire script in that six hour journey.
So my suggestion is, stop trying to use it and do something else. (Which sounds a bit dim and simple when I put it like that. "Doctor. It hurts when I do this. What should I do?' "Stop doing this." But you know what I mean.)
Right. Girls are stirring in rooms above. I shall make them pancakes with sliced strawberries in them.*
*When I am king I shall make out of season non-local strawberries illegal. They don't taste like strawberries. Every year in June I have to remind myself that actually, I like these things, and that sun-warmed strawberries fresh-picked in season are one of the heavenly delights of the world. It's those big red faintly starberry-flavoured things called strawberries that turn up the rest of the year I dislike.
By: Neil Gaiman,
on 5/14/2009
Blog:
Neil Gaiman
(
Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags:
bees,
Maddy,
Add a tag
posted by Neil
A beautiful Spring day. I worked on things that I'm late on, including an introduction that got away from me, and then went out with Lorraine and Maddy and checked the bees (four hives, all brightly coloured. Three hives still to go.) Then I took a few more photos, mostly of the gazebo and of bookshelves and, seeing she was there, Maddy.
Looking at the finished phots was of those odd, heart-stopping moments for a father, when you realise that your little girl has started to wear the face she'll wear as a teenager and beyond. And it seems like only yesterday she was a wee thing hiding in the leaf-pile next to you...
circa 2002
...and then, and it seems like no time has passed at all, and she's a very long way from the leaf-pile.
And I must stop blogging as I am falling asleep...
posted by Neil
Two small things:
Firstly, I've meant to post for a while that if you are in the US (or have figured out a way to give a computer the impression you're in the US) you can watch the whole of
The Prisoner, the Patrick McGoohan series that was such a part of my mental landscape growing up, legitimately online at
http://www.amctv.com/originals/the-prisoner-1960s-series/. I think it's great that they've put it up. As a teenager, before videos, I collected all three of the
Prisoner novels, just to try and get back to the Village, and was unsatisfied by all of them. Finally got to watch them again on Channel 4 in the mid 80s, and they were just as good, and as odd, as I had remembered.
Maddy and I are now in Brazil. We got to the airport in Sao Paulo where the driver and Tom Stoppard were waiting, and then we drove down to Paraty. (At no point did I say to Tom Stoppard, "Funny old world innit? You wrote a film called Brazil, and now we're here." Tom Stoppard is, I discovered, who I want to be when I grow up. I did, however, tell him how much I liked his Waterstones story card.)
Anyway. All is good. We went off on a boat to an island and had a very late lunch, or a very early dinner, and after dinner I lay down on the roof of the boat as it chuntered back to Paraty and watched the sun set and slept under the stars, waking just before we docked.
I have a plan for Saturday -- I spoke to the Festival organisers and they seem happy with it. After the programme item (starts at 11:45, finishes around 1.00pm) I'll sign for whoever's there for as long as it takes. I figure this may take a while, but basically anyone there who wants a signature, whether they made it to the official event or had to content themselves with the big screen overflow or are just wandering around Paraty clutching an ancient Portuguese translation of Sandman. So if you were wondering whether or not it was worth your while making the trip to Paraty, yes, if you're here then, I'll sign your book.
Not a question, just a post on a glorious clockwork tower I thought you might enjoy.
http://cabinet-of-wonders.blogspot.com/2008/06/san-marco-clock-tower-venice.html
I was thinking the other day that it had been a while since I'd posted a link to cabinet of wonders - http://cabinet-of-wonders.blogspot.com/ - as I've been enjoying the recent grand tour, so I took this as a reminder. (My favourite recent article was http://cabinet-of-wonders.blogspot.com/2008/06/languages-of-tone-and-rhythm.html)
dear neil,
did you know that people are selling the graveyard book on abesbooks.co.uk?? is that allowed??
i've entered the epitaph competion because well i just had too what with the desperation and the sweaty paws and whatnot! Even so it feels a little like cheating, and in the unlikely event of winning a copy, i do think i might miss out on the all hallows atmosphere!
just thought i'd do a little 'grassing' seeing as i was in the neighbourhood, the stink of spoilsports to me! they wouldnt allow that with that Potter boy so why Bod?!
davey
Well, the publishers didn't send out advance reading copies with the Harry Potter books -- they were extremely strict about shops violating the on-sale date, though, which is a slightly different thing. Here you have books that people have been sent or given that they are putting up for sale on eBay or Abebooks.
The covers of the ARCs all say "Not for sale" on them, but most of the copies for sale are being sold by booksellers who got them at Book Expo America, and many of those booksellers use the sale of the various advanced copies of books they got there as a way to fund their trip to Book Expo. Which is my way of saying I can't get mad about it.
I'm most disappointed when copies proudly proclaim themselves to never have been read. The reason for the advanced reading copies is so that people can read them. So I hope the people who buy them on eBay or elsewhere read them and tell people about them, and don't just put them away in the dark as collectibles.
Is "bugger me sideways with a coracle" a real expression, or did you make it up?
You mean the two things are mutually exclusive? Everything has to be made up first... I mean, take the following as an example:
Hey Neil,
I found the most interesting thing today. I received a book order today including Creating Circles & Ceremonies by Oberon and Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart. It's a Pagan ritual book. Anyway, I was looking through the appendices and they had a section listing Pantheons of different cultures and religions. Guess what was included in the list? THE ENDLESS. I was shocked! Apparently, people have created very successful rituals using the archetypes of The Endless. I guess your characters have taken on a life of their own! Just thought you might be interested in knowing that little tidbit.
Sincerely,
Christina
Hey world! It's Maddy G-Dogg. Guess what! IT'S PICTURE TIME! WOOOOOOOO
Myself, Dad, Heather and Henry Selick. Yeah, we look cool. I know.
The Wonderful Madeleine and Henry Selick's son, Harry.
Me getting my make-up done! Oooh la la!
Henry's magnificent assistant Shelley!! And I would just like to point out that behind her, there now sits a napkin. On this napkin, written in the finest of magenta ink, is:
Maddy Gaiman is amazing!
-the world.
P.S. I ♥ Shelley
Marvelous Maddy and Shining Shelley!
Dad, me and Merrilee in a yummy little sushi restaurant! P.S. If your daughter has never tried a Caterpillar Roll, please do not persuade her to pop one in her mouth. The whole eel and avacado thing is not something that a particular 13-year-old is a fan of.
Me with my chocolate pig named Franklin. :)
That's all for now folks. Oh and by the way as I am writing this, my father, aka the brilliant yet slightly odd Neil Gaiman, is downstairs signing some books like crazy! GOOOOO DAD!
Bye. :)
Hey everyone!! Well this is Maddy Gaiman and I would just like to say that I am very tired! Today was a long day and now I totally know how dad feels after he gets done with a day of interviewing, or at things like Comicon.
Well we arrived at Laika studios this morning at like 10:00, ate a nummy breakfast, and went on a tour around the sets of Coraline. It was amazingly super cool!! There are sooo many sets for all the different scenes in the movie. Then I interviewed Henry Selick and my dad, then did a bunch of little TV spots for things like CNN Kids and Nickelodeon and Access Hollywood, where I would be all like "Hi! This is Maddy Gaiman. Stay tuned for an exclusive sneak-peek of the cool new 3-D animated movie CORALINE!".
After that I interviewed Georgina Hayns and Deb Cook who are the heads of the departments for puppets and costumes for the puppets. It was pretty wonderful. I love all of the puppets, too. I would never have the patience to do what the people working there do. With all the fine detailed things, and moving the puppets a tiny little bit every shot and taking a picture and then moving them a little more, my head would about explode!! That takes talent I tell you. Oh, and we also saw about 20 minutes of footage in 3-D and that was also pretty darn fantastic. The film is coming along great so far and I simply cannot wait to see the finished version!
Okay, well I better get to bed because I am pretty tired. But hopefully I will be back tomorrow with some more wonderful blogging!
Talk to ya lata skatas!! :)
Good morning! Miss Maddy and I are in Portland. Last night we went to Henry Selick's house and met his family and lots of nice people from Laika and ate lots of amazing food (and I also drank my first cup of the kind of coffee that's made from beans that have travelled through the digestive system of the civet cat [Paradoxurus hermaphroditus]).
Today it's off to Laika to visit the Coraline sets (all 40 of them) and to be interviewed for the DVD extras. Maddy will be doing the interviewing.
I have to get dressed... Here's Maddy:
Well helloooooo everyone I missed you so! Um well today we are going to visit the Coraline sets as I see Dad already mentioned, but I am very excited because everything is going to be super cool! Plus I'm going to interview people so you better watch out because the new Larry King is right here. :) Just kidding! Or am I? Anyways we have some pictures of last night's get together but I do not exactly have the camera with me right now so I guess you will just have to wait until later to see them. It will be the time of your life! Ok, well have a really great day. :)
Me again. People have sent me lots of important emails this morning, many of them letting me know that a bee truck overturned near Sacramento.
Millions of swarming honey bees are on the loose after a truck carrying crates of the buzzing insects flipped over on a highway in Sacramento.
The California Highway Patrol says 8-to-12 million bees escaped from the crates in which they were stored, swarming over an area of Highway 99 and stinging officers, firefighters and tow truck drivers who were trying to clear the accident from the roadway.
CHP Officer Michael Bradley says at about 10 a.m. a tractor trailer owned by Inter City Inc. flipped over while entering the highway on its way to Yakima, Wash. The flatbed was carrying bee crates each filled with up to 30 thousand bees.
Bradley says several beekeepers driving by the accident stopped to assist in the bee wrangling. The beekeepers called their colleagues, who responded and came to help repair damaged bee crates and get them loaded onto two new trucks.
The bees were on their way back to Washington after being used in the San Joaquin Valley to pollinate crops.
(I don't think they were swarming at all. But hurrah for the drive-by beekepers.)
And meanwhile,
It’s rare when a library topic can generate more discussion than something as big as Talk Like a Pirate Day, but damn if the Mudflap marketing campaign from Wyoming’s libraries didn’t do just that in libraryland. Talk about going where your users are….
At first I thought, “Hmmmm…not sure about this.” But then I decided I like the idea of turning the image on its head and repurposing it for our own uses. It definitely gets your attention and makes you think for a second. At least, it made me stop and think, and I certainly won’t be forgetting Wyoming’s libraries now. More info about the campaign here.
originally posted by WyoLibrarian
libraries,
marketing,
Wyoming
By: Mark Peter Hughes,
on 8/8/2007
Blog:
Lemonade Mouth Across America! Blog
(
Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags:
rushmore,
cody,
jackson hole,
tetons,
sturgis,
idaho,
tahoe,
rodeo,
real america,
legislature,
wyoming,
neighbors bookstore,
yellowstone,
oregon,
rushmore,
cody,
jackson hole,
tetons,
sturgis,
idaho,
tahoe,
rodeo,
real america,
legislature,
wyoming,
neighbors bookstore,
yellowstone,
Add a tag
10:23 AM Tuesday, Aug 7:
For those keeping track, our van has so far driven 9,024 miles since we left home. We passed the 9,000 mark yesterday, 13 miles west of Cody, WY. This is the 42nd day of our trip. We have 13 days left to go.
I can’t believe I’m in a hotel in Wyoming. Wyoming! To me it seems so far away and unlikely, it’s almost like being on Mars, except with cowboys. We went to an old-fashioned photo place in Jackson Hole, WY a couple days ago and had this photo taken:
Look at Lucy and Zoe's faces in particular. Don't they look like they'd shoot you as soon as look at you?
Not a lot of bookstores since my last update—not only because there aren’t a lot of antelope, rattle snakes, or bears who care for YA literature, but also (okay, mostly) because I didn’t schedule much for this leg of the trip—I wanted to make sure we enjoyed the national parks and cool cowboy stuff while putting some miles behind us.
Let’s catch up.
BURNING UP IN LAKE TAHOE, CA
When we got to Lake Tahoe, Evan still wasn’t feeling very well. Thankfully a very generous friend, Michael Zifcak, had let us use his condo in Tahoe for a couple of nights so we had a little time to rest and let Evan get back on his feet. (Thanks, Michael!) But the first night, he had a fever of 103.5 F so we ended up taking him to the local urgent care clinic. The doctor said he just had a virus and that the only thing to do was to let him ride it out. Almost immediately, Evan had a miraculous recovery. I’m not sure why, but there you are. He’s been fine, fine, fine ever since (and that was almost a week ago), and we were able to enjoy beautiful Lake Tahoe. We only wished we had more time there.
Here I am at Neighbors Bookstore, a local independent, with bookseller Sue Ottman. Support your local independents! :-)
A LONG DRIVE THROUGH A WHOLE LOTTA NOTHING
...Then back eastward through Nevada, heading toward Idaho. One thing that has impressed me as we’ve driven through the western half of this country is how much nothing there is. You can drive for hours and hours and only come across maybe one little town made up of a gas station and a couple of trailers. Really.
We drove through Carson City, the capital of Nevada, and were surprised by how little the state legislature building was. To my eye, it looked only a tad larger than your standard McMansion. It was tiny! We’ve seen a lot of state capital buildings on this trip, but this one warranted a photo. These are not big government fans...
OREGON (SORT OF)
I hadn’t realized we were going to go through Oregon, but there it was. We ended up cutting through the southwest corner—which was another long stretch of nothing. But it counted as a state! I think that brings us up to a total of 37 for the trip??
OUR OWN PRIVATE IDAHO
I didn’t know much of anything about the state except for the B52’s song and the movie Napoleon Dynamite. But the truth is, Idaho sneaks up on you. The drive from the Oregon border to Boise is one of the most stunningly beautiful that we’ve had the whole trip. Farmland, green hills, lovely countryside, lakes, clear blue skies and beautiful, sunny weather, which I’m told they have almost every day. I’m not surprised why so many Californians are moving out there.
We stayed with our friends Glenda and Bill, who live in Meridian just outside of Boise. We met them in Alaska last year in a hot tub (along with their daughter Melissa and their son-in-law Leighton—who are off somewhere eating Swiss chocolates in the Alps now), and they invited us to visit them sometime. Well, here we were! :-) They fed us and gave us comfortable places to sleep. After breakfast in the morning, we met their brother-in-law Tony and the kids got to jump in a trampoline. Thanks so much for your kindness, Glenda and Bill! See you in Boston sometime soon!
WYOMING
Wyoming made a dramatic entrance. The pictures can’t do it justice, but here they are:
MOSEYING THROUGH JACKSON HOLE
Here’s Karen…
KAREN: Jackson Hole is a cowboy village just south of Grand Teton National Park. I loved it. My favorite part was the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar, which was packed with cowboys, drinking, and two-stepping. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t let us in with three children. (Note to self: Come back another time without children!)
GROPING OUR WAY THROUGH THE GRAND TETONS
KAREN: We left Jackson Hole and spent the next fifty miles driving slowly in the dark trying not to hit any large animals who might suddenly leap into the road. There were bright blinking signs everywhere warning us about frequent fatal collisions with wandering elk and buffalo! Nice relaxing ride!
EVAN: We ended up getting to Teton National Park at 11PM and we went to a park ranger and asked him where the cabins were. The park ranger said all the cabins were full. We protested because we had a confirmed reservation. (MARK: This is true!). The ranger said sorry but we could still camp. And so at midnight my mom and dad set up the tent by the headlights of the car. The next morning when we were ready to leave we tried to turn on the car but the car battery was dead! And so we had to get the park rangers to get a truck to jump-start our battery.
AVOIDING GETTING EATEN OR GORED IN YELLOWSTONE PARK
Zoe will now describe Yellowstone Park. Note: She did this in English, so no words were changed:
ZOE: I saw a lot of buffalos and I couldn’t stop looking at them. I saw a buffalo that was in the water and it swam all across to the other side. I saw tons of buffalos and I saw just right now some cows (MARK’s comment: She means now, two days after Yellowstone Park, because we’re now driving through central Wyoming now as she’s talking and I’m typing) but not a lot of cows, just a teeny bit. And we were about to see wolves (MARK’s comment: She’s talking about Yellowstone again) but we couldn’t because we needed special binoculars ‘cause they’re far, far away. And we went in a bridge where we could see a bunch of volcanoes (MARK: Not really—they were steaming geysers with very hot springs and bubbling mud) and they were really, really stinky (MARK: from the sulphur) and we couldn’t touch them because they were lava and they were hot and if you touch them that would be weird.
Camping in Yellowstone was quite the experience...
MARK’S VERSION: Karen was very nervous about sleeping in a tent in bear country. Who can blame her, right? There were signs on every corner warning about bear safety. But Karen was way nervous. I mean way. She kept jumping at the slightest sound. And then at 4:30 A.M. she woke me up by pounding hard on my chest several times and then whispering urgently in my ear that she’d heard some kid in a nearby tenting screaming and that there was a bear outside. Now, it’s possible that there was. I don’t know. But in the morning I asked the nearby campers and nobody knew anything about it. But there I was at 4:30 in the morning, wide awake and freezing in my underwear wondering what the heck I was supposed to do about the possible bear outside our tent.
Still, she’s cute so we’ll keep her.
KAREN’S VERSION: Ok, I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to sleep with bears (especially after hearing about how some kid in Utah was pulled out of his tent by a bear a few weeks ago!). So, here I find myself putting up a tent at MIDNIGHT in the middle of bear territory…which I was constantly reminded of as I saw warnings (don’t leave food for bears, every year people are attacked by bears etc..) posted at the camp entrance, the women’s bathroom etc! On top of that, I got lost in the pitch darkness trying to find our tent…lovely. Night one without sleep. Then the next night we camped in Yellowstone and I decided not to be a wus and go with the wildlife adventure.Yeah right! Not only were there signs warning about bears everywhere, there were signs warning about getiing gored by buffalo too!! Mark thinks I’m insane, but YES, I did hear a bear growl in the middle of the night which scared the @#$% out of me!! Granted, it might not have been close by, but I heard it loud and clear! I had to pee very badly all night long, but there was no way I was leaving the tent! Later I heard a child screaming insanely (maybe he saw something, maybe the bear I heard? ….he is probably ok, but I know a kids cry and a kids scream of fear!!) Enough said, I woke up Mark and was completely panicked! But really, what can one do at 5 am in a national park, there is no where to go except to meet more bears and buffalo which come out especially at dawn! Night two no sleep. I loved Yellowstone during the day, but I think I’ll take a break from camping for awhile!
GOING NATIVE
So, since we’re driving through sagebrush and tumbleweed land, we decided to assign ourselves native names that we’d use until we left cowboy country. Did you ever see Dances With Wolves? There was much discussion and controversy, but in the end here’s what we came up with:
Karen: Flees From Bears
Me: Brakes for Buffalo
Lucy: Screeches Like Cockatoo
Zoe: Little Deer With Barbie Laptop (Zoe came up with that on her own)
Evan was difficult. We considered Pees In Woods, and Tinkles on Prickers, but we wanted something less bodily. We tried Annoys Like Mosquito but, while it does suit him (sometimes), it still wasn’t quite right. In the end we settled on Acts Like Monkey.
YEE-HAWING AT A CODY, WYOMING RODEO
Three hours west of Yellowstone is Cody, Wyoming where, last night, we got to go to a rodeo.
LUCY: We got the best seats in the rodeo. And suddenly lots of cowboys, horses and bulls came on and got knocked over. And then they were chasing baby cows and they tied them up by their feet and their heads and it was unbelievable because all the cowgirls lost and all the cowboys won. I wished at least one of the cowgirls won. Then this clown called out for all the kids to come down to the rodeo stage and me and my brother and sister went down there. There was lots of dirt. The clown said for all the kids to roll around in the dirt. Me and my brother did but Zoe didn’t. It was fun. There were lots of baby cows running around with ribbons around their tales and I was chasing after them but then my new cowgirl hat blew off and kids were about to step on it so I went back to get it. My brother would have caught the cow but he had flip-flops on. And then we went in line to get our hats autographed and the three cowboy clowns signed my hat. It was really good. It made me really happy.
EVAN: What was really interesting was that they put little kids on the bulls and they did bull riding and barrel racing. I think I’m going to do that when I get back to Cody.
VENTING A BIT ABOUT THE REAL AMERICA
I’m going to gripe just for a moment.
So, the rodeo MC made a political joke putting down a major presidential candidate (I don’t want to get political here so I won’t say who the put-down was directed at, but it rhymes with Shmillary and it involved a cow) and then he asked the crowd, “Anybody here from the east coast?” A huge roar followed—I’m guessing more than half of the people in the stands. Then the MC followed up with, “I’d like to welcome you to the United States of America. This is the real America.” Huh? So, the east coast isn’t the real America? What’s up with that? And I might point out that the vast majority of the space in the middle of the country is empty. Empty as in nothing at all. Nada. No people. No towns. No buildings. Nothing. Shall we review?...
So, yes, of course Wyoming is part of the real America—and a lovely part, too—yet I can't help pointing out that if you look at where the majority of the American people actually live, well that’s nearer to the coasts. And we citizens of the coasts represent the real America as much as that rodeo MC does.
Okay, I’ve said it and now I feel better. Thanks for humoring me. I’m done griping.
BACK ON THE ROAD
4:34 PM: We’re driving again, roaring down I-90 near Gillette, Wyoming heading toward South Dakota. Flees From Bears is at the wheel. Penelope, our minivan, is still doing okay. I think the occasional rattling is coming from her exhaust pipe, which shakes a bit when we’re idling. Its probably missing a screw or something, but every now and then I push the exhaust pipe in with my shoe and the rattling gets better. All good. :-)
SOUTH DAKOTA, MT. RUSHMORE, AND THE STURGIS MOTORCYCLE RALLY
12:09 AM Wednesday, Aug 8:
We made it into South Dakota around 7:30 this evening and then booked it over to Mount Rushmore before the sun set. We made it!
Here we are doing the obligatory impression of Mt. Rushmore:
We didn’t have any hotel reservations (we’re living life on the edge) and it turned out that this week just happens to be the huge annual Sturgis motorcycle rally, attracting about 100,000 Harley Davidsons in around the Mount Rushmore area. I have to admit, we were sweating it out for a little while, but in the end we did manage to get the last room available in the last hotel in Keystone, SD, where I’m posting this blog. It’s biker heaven out there. There’s loud partying, loud engines, and more bikes in the parking lots than I may have ever seen before. Karen, Zoe, and I walked around outside a few minutes ago and talked to a few bikers.
We have a wake up call for tomorrow at 7:30 AM. We have 650 miles to drive through the badlands. I can't wait! Next stop…Minneapolis!
--Brakes For Buffalo
LEMONADE MOUTH (Delacorte Press, 2007
I AM THE WALLPAPER (Delacorte Press, 2005)
www.markpeterhughes.com
