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My oldest hit the double digits this Friday, and oh, what celebrating there was!

I was all ready for that. I'd made one cake, bought another, wrapped the presents, gotten the house ready for the onslaught of ten year who would pour into it the next day. We were ready to celebrate.

What I wasn't expecting was the trepidation. Not mine. Hers.

DD: Mama, should I be excited?

Me: (trying to hide surprise) Sure. You're turning ten. That's a big deal.

DD: I don't want to get older.

Me: Why not?

DD: I like being nine. I want to be nine for forever.

Me: Really?

I didn't totally get it. I was one of those kids who was nine going on nineteen. So come Saturday night, I went into the slumber party/night of silly 10 year old fun trying to catch glimpses not only of the allure of kiddom she sees but of its magic.

You know, I must have been blind as a kid. There was a Jupiter Jump, cookie cake, water balloon fights, sleepover with ten girls, movies - The Indian in the Cupboard, Hotel for Dogs, Marley and Me - gummy bears, popcorn, donuts, swinging, and laughing. Oh, was there laughing!

Most of all, there was abandon. Abandon to swim in it all, in the moment, in the fun, the silliness, the excitement, and the total exhaustion.

What was I thinking trying to grow up so fast??

I understand now why she is worried about getting older. Worried about losing that part of childhood and all that goes with it.

She's a smart kid, smarter than her mom. Hopefully, some of adulthood will eventually appeal to her. But after Saturday night, I get why there's no hurry getting there. There's so much to see until then. I'm glad I get to see it with her.

The bookstore called this week to let me know that my copy of Jo Knowles's (jbknowles)  LESSONS FROM A DEAD GIRL had arrived.  I read it in two sittings and... wow.  Just wow.  This is a beautifully written book.  Not an easy book to read, though.  In fact, from the perspective of a mom and a teacher, it's downright scary.  But it's important.  And...well...wow.

Laine is an ordinary teenager with a gut-wrenching secret that haunts her from the very first page of LESSONS FROM A DEAD GIRL and haunts readers long after the last page is turned. The "dead girl" in the title is Laine's friend Leah -- a friend who steals away Laine's childhood through an abusive relationship that escalates so painfully that you want desperately to step into the book and shout, "NO!"

When I met Jo at the New England SCBWI conference last spring, I told her I was excited to read her book and wondered if my 7th graders would like it.  She let me know that it was recommended for ages 14 and up, and she was right.  This book is definitely an older YA -- one I'd recommend for high school rather than middle school readers. It made me feel anxious and uncomfortable, but it also made me reflect on the nature of friendship and kids -- why some of our kids' friendships can become so frighteningly destructive, and why they don't turn away.

What makes this book remarkable is the way it portrays the fear, guilt, and confusion of abuse, without completely demonizing the antagonist. At the end of this gut-wrenching story, there remains room for forgiveness and for hope. LESSONS FROM A DEAD GIRL has a rare gift of being a compelling page-turner and an important novel all at once -- a book that teens will tear through in a sitting or two and then think about for years.

Thanks to d_michiko_f and cfaughnan, I have lots of photos to remind me of our amazing weekend together. Thanks for sharing, you guys!!

So, Friday morning and most of the day involved me working in the kitchen and later throughout the house trying to cook and clean and get ready for the party. Poor Debbi and Cindy were here for a writing retreat but I'm afraid I didn't give them a very quiet setting.

Here I attempt to cut some avocado. Cindy has a more crazed photo of me with a knife. But I didn't want to scare anyone.


Mid-morning, a van pulled into the driveway to deliver two amazing bouquets of flowers from my editor.They were stunning and totally made the house seem ten times more festive. Thank you Joan!!


When all the dips and things were finished, I had to leave very specific instructions for Peter to get everything out, since I'd be at the signing when guests started to arrive. I carefully added sticky labels to every serving dish with instructions for what went where. I never bothered to check if he got it right. ;-)


I didn't realize I was so anal. Huh.

Labels and instructions in place, it was off to the booksigning. Cindy was nice enough to drive. As we made our way down the road, I burst into tears. All that stress and anxiety kind of just fell out of me. I had to turn Cindy's air conditioning on to try to get rid of my splotchy face. So embarrassing. I guess the reality of this dream coming true finally hit me. How lucky to be in the car with two dear friends who understood.

We managed a parking space right in front of the bookstore and on the window was a little flyer about the signing. Through the window we could see a small table with my books displayed all around a beautiful bouquet of red roses. I thought they were from the store at first, but then discovered they were from my dad's cousin and his wife. THANK YOU Bill and Julie! They were magnificent!!

So, here I am being an author.



Also waiting for me was my number one fan.


Here's Debbi. :)


And here are LJ pals jeannineatkins, cfaughnan, and d_michiko_f showing me some love. Thanks you guys!!!!!


Here are my top buyers for the evening. SIX books. (Do I have the best in-laws or what??)


The two hours in the store went by like a flash. It was so much fun to see friends and family wandering the store, chatting, and just, well, being there for me. Thank you all so much!!!

Then it was time to party. Yay! The first person I looked for was good pal slatts. We found him!


The next few hours were a blur of pure magic and joy, being able to visit with all my friends and family. Dear friends from my first writing group, Jeannine Atkins and Peg Davol, were there, as well as my parents and my sister and niece, my uncle drove all the way from Rhode Island, and lots and lots of other friends. I was just so touched to see so many people from different parts of my life congregating together in our home. It was a gift I will hold in my heart forever. My sister brought several bottles of champagne and she said a toast through some tears, which then made me cry so I kind of botched a thank you. And then several other people chimed in to say really sweet things. It was just... I'm at a loss for words.

And then we ate cake. (Thanks Steph!!)


And then I hugged a lot of people. Repeatedly. Like my mom.


And then people slowly cleared out, but I clung to the magic of the night. I really didn't want it to end. But it did. And Saturday was a quiet day of writing with my WWaWWa sisters, which was just a perfect way to follow up the night. And then yesterday morning they left for the airport, and the house felt very empty, but also full of great memories.

Thank you thank you thank you to everyone for making this weekend special in every way. I love you guys!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Monday Morning Warm-Up:

Write to the prompt, "If I could get out of here..."

08 CWIM Preview: Interview with Jo Knowles...

Over the next few weeks, I'll be posting previews of features and interviews that appear in the 2008 CWIM, which will be in stores in early August. (Just this minute Greg the Production Guy handed me two advance copies! A nice morning surprise.)

Today I offer an abbreviated version of my Q&A interview with debut novelist Jo Knowles. Jo's first book, Lessons From a Dead Girl, offers readers a powerful, often uncomfortable journey into the world of abuse and healing, chronicling the complex relationship between main character Laine and her best friend/tormentor Leah, who, Laine learns at the book’s opening, has died.

Jo's journey to publication was helped along by winning grants and awards including an SCBWI Work-in-Progress Grant for a Young Adult Novel in 2002, which attracted the attention of her agent Barry Goldblatt. And she won a PEN New England Children's Book Caucus Discovery Award in 2005, which lead to a contract with Candlewick. She's a member of the Class of 2k7 collective.

Would you recommend contests and grants to other writers pursuing publication?

Absolutely! There are so many good things that come out of applying for a grant. First of all, you have to write a synopsis, which is very hard but really forces you to think about your manuscript and what it’s about. I guess that sounds pretty obvious but when you do it for the first time, it’s like a revelation!

Second, I think submitting a sample of your work, say 10 pages, makes you look at those pages in a really intense way, through the eyes of the most critical reader you can imagine. Every sentence counts! Since doing this I now revise my manuscripts in roughly 10-page chunks, which usually translates to two chapters for me. I look at those chapters and work on how they stand on their own. It’s a great exercise.

Third, getting that call is the biggest thrill! At the time I got the call about the SCBWI grant I had been through some tough times in my personal life and was feeling pretty hopeless. I remember hanging up the phone and sitting on the floor and crying. It was wonderful! And then soon after that I received a letter from Barry Goldblatt (he’d read the notice about the grant in the SCBWI Bulletin) asking if I’d be interested in submitting my work to him. He’d only been in the business for about a year or so at that point, so I was really lucky! And then when I applied for the PEN award I’d sort of sunk to that hopeless place again. I’d had some close calls with revision requests, but I was beginning to feel like maybe I just didn’t have what it takes. A good friend of mine, Cynthia Lord (author of the Newbery Honor-winning Rules), encouraged me to give it a shot so I decided to take a chance on Lessons from a Dead Girl, a manuscript Barry hadn’t actually shopped around yet because I had nearly given up on it. I was totally shocked and thrilled when I got the call and found out I won.

Any tips on catching the eye of judges?

Hand in your best work. I know that sounds a bit simple, but really I think you have to make those first pages sing, just like the first pages of any book. How can your first sentence hook the reader? What would make the judge keep going? Read the pages out loud, have someone else read them to you, read all the first chapters from your favorite books and think about what it is that makes those resonate with you. Don’t just hand in any old thing for the sake of submitting. Respect the judges’ time and only submit if you have something you’ve put your all into. Also, follow the rules to a T. Don’t hand in more pages than requested. Follow the formatting guidelines. If the submissions say the excerpt should come from a completed work, don’t hand in something you’ve only written the first chapter of. Be professional.

As a first-time author, were there any surprises during the publishing process? What has your relationship with your editor been like? With your agent?

It’s funny but I don’t think there have been too many surprises. The biggest surprise was getting an offer! My editor, Joan Powers, is wonderful. She is very straightforward, asks lots of questions, and trusts me to answer them in my revisions. I certainly don’t think she ever shied away from asking tough questions, and I really appreciate that. My agent, Barry Goldblatt, is terrific. He’s become a good friend who knows and cares about my career and me. Barry has a reputation for being “brutally honest” but I think I should set the record straight right now and say he also has a huge heart. You have to be honest in this business. That may sound harsh but dishonesty will only lead to disappointment later. Barry knows that, and I think by being honest up front he is giving aspiring writers a huge gift. Writing is hard, hard work. But if you keep at it, if you keep revising, keep listening to the feedback rather than feeling it, you will get better, and you will succeed.