What do the recent federal election in Canada and the new year’s eve attacks on women in Cologne, Germany have in common? Political leaders caught micromanaging the intimate details of women’s lives. Read my article “What Women Wear Daily: Male Aggression” for more.
The post Huffington Post piece: women living with male aggression appeared first on Cathrin Hagey.
By: Sinead O’Connor,
on 8/21/2015
Flash forward to 2010. I was now a tenured full professor. I was working with two young male Ph.D. students who in some ways reminded me of myself thirty years earlier—inspired by feminism, wanting to have an impact on the world. Both Tal Peretz and Max Greenberg had, as undergrads, gotten involved in campus-based violence prevention work with men.
The post Learning from Chris Norton over three decades—Part III appeared first on OUPblog.
By: Sinead O’Connor,
on 8/20/2015
In my 1980 interview with Chris Norton, he spoke of the tensions of being a pro-feminist man, of struggling with how to integrate his commitments to feminism with his daily life as a carpenter, where he worked with men who didn’t always share those commitments. He spoke of Men Against Sexist Violence’s (MASV) internal discussions of sexism and pornography, and of his own complicated relationship to feminism and other progressive politics.
The post Learning from Chris Norton over three decades—Part II appeared first on OUPblog.
By: Sinead O’Connor,
on 8/19/2015
The guy at the front of the room was saying stuff I’d never heard a man say before, especially to a room full of young college guys. Through my basketball-player-eyes, I sized him up to be at least 6’5” with the broad shoulders of a power forward
The post Learning from Chris Norton over three decades—Part I appeared first on OUPblog.
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By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 5/26/2014
Recently a 22-year-old man killed his roommates, then shot and murdered a number of women, and wounded others, because he felt he’d been rejected sexually and was furious that he was still a virgin. He called it his “war on women.”
According to LA Times, in a video he made before the attacks (now removed from YouTube) he said: “”I’m 22 years old and still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. And through college, 2 1/2 years, more than that actually, I’m still a virgin. It has been very torturous,” he said. “The popular kids, you never accepted me and now you will all pay for it. Girls, all I ever wanted was to love you, be loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted sex, love, affection, adoration.”
Wow. Scary.
It’s like the Montreal Massacre. A man killing women for being women. For not giving them what he wanted. Another tear through our society, our souls. This horrifies me. It should horrify you, too. Men are not automatically owed sex or praise or anything else by women just because they are men. But our culture encourages and promotes the sexualization and objectification of women and girls–and the dominance and “superiority” of men. Still. To this day.
Most women have experienced some form of sexual assault in their lives–many from men they know. At least 1 in 3 girls have been sexually abused or raped, and I think that is a very conservative estimate, given how frightening and hard it is to talk about, and how often people don’t believe a child when they speak out.
Yes, boys are sexually abused, too. But what we’re talking about right now is the misogyny–the hatred of women–that is steeped into our society, so that most young women can’t walk down a street without being harassed, or fearing sexual assault. Where women are expected to put out. Where women are still blamed for rape, and where rapists are still let free and not punished for their crimes. Where girls and women are still considered second class.
If you’re on social media, especially Twitter, you may have seen #YesAllWomen trending. It’s in response to these recent murders, and also to the hatred and violence against women that is such a part of our culture. Gina Dening wrote about this beautifully: “Because every woman has a story about being a victim. Every woman has a story of a time when she needed to decide between fight and flight.” Read her post. It says SO much more–so perfectly.
I also really appreciated and loved Chuck Wendig’s post Not All Men, But Still Too Many Men on how men saying “not all men” are missing the point, and that our society is built on violence against women. We KNOW not all men are rapists or bullies or murderers or child molesters. But for so many women, we have to face or have had to face threats from men all our lives.
I did. I experienced daily and nightly rape by my father, other family members, and his friends. He used me in child porn and child prostitution to gain money and prestige among his friends and among the cult he and my mother were a part of. Rape, abuse, and torture were my normal growing up–for most of my life. I lived in fear and terror. And yet I always fought it.
I argued with my high school sociology teacher, telling her and the class that women were not ever to blame for rape, not even if they walked down a dark alley alone or wore skimpy clothes. I was verbally shot down by my teacher. I fought back against my abusers, always–but also tried to stay alive. I didn’t think I would survive and become an adult–but I’m glad I did. It’s gotten a lot better.
But I still am not comfortable in my body. I still am afraid out on the streets after dark. I still experience harassment as a woman and a lesbian. I am still affected in so many ways by the rape and abuse and objectification I experienced as a child and teen and even later.
So I am thrilled to see #YesAllWomen trending–thrilled to see women speaking out about the violence and harassment they experience, thrilled to see men and women listening, and many responding positively. I believe so strongly in the healing power of bringing painful things to light, of talking about them, and of working to create change. I believe we can make positive change together…even if it takes a very long time. And I still hope for a day when the hatred will end.
It’s what I work towards through my books. Through speaking out on social media. Through the way I live my life. And it’s what I hope you’ll work towards, too. Greater compassion. Equality. An end to the violence and hate. All of us being able to live without fear.
I know. It sounds like a dream far too big, impossible, to happen. But I still hope for it. I have to. I hope you will, too. And I hope you’ll also speak out.
Other YA authors are tweeting and writing about #YesAllWomen:
And Kim Baccelia has written about it in her post
There are also many articles about #YesAllWomen in the media, including:
Time
and many others.
And you can search for the latest #YesAllWomen hashtags on Twitter.
By: Alice,
on 3/8/2014
On Saturday, 8 March, we celebrate International Women’s Day. But is there really anything to celebrate?
Last year, the United Nations declared its theme for International Women’s Day to be: “A promise is a promise: Time for action to end violence against women.” But in the United Kingdom in 2012, the government’s own figures show that around 1.2 million women suffered domestic abuse, over 400,000 women were sexually assaulted, 70,000 women were raped, and thousands more were stalked.
The United Nations talks about a context of deep-rooted patriarchal systems and structures that enable men to assert power and control over women.
In a nutshell, this means that men’s violence against women is simply the most extreme manifestation of a continuum of male privilege, starting with domination of public discourse and decision-making, taking the lion’s share of global income and assets, and finally, controlling women’s actions and agency by force if necessary.
Throughout history and in most cultures, violence against women has been an accepted way in which men maintain power. In this country, the traditional right of a husband to inflict moderate corporal punishment on his wife in order to keep her “within the bounds of duty” was only removed in 1891. Our lingering ambivalence over the rights and wrongs of intervening in the face of domestic violence (“It’s just a domestic” as the police used to say) continues more than a century later. An ICM poll in 2003 found more people would call the police if someone was mistreating their dog than if someone was mistreating their partner (78% versus 53%). Women recognise this culture of condoning and excusing violence against them in their reluctance even today to exert their legal rights and make an official complaint. The most recent figures from the Ministry of Justice show that only 15% of women who have been raped report it to the police. And when they do, they’re likely to be disbelieved: the ‘no-crime’ rate (where a victim reports a crime but the police decide that no crime took place) for overall police recorded crime is 3.4%; for rape it’s 10.8%. All this adds up to a culture of impunity in which violence can continue.
And it’s exacerbated by our media. When the End Violence against Women Coalition, along with some of our members, were invited to give evidence to the Leveson Inquiry, we argued that:
“reporting on violence against women which misrepresents crimes, which is intrusive, which sensationalises and which uncritically blames ‘culture’, is not simply uninformed, trivial or in bad taste. It has real and lasting impact – it reinforces attitudes which blame women and girls for the violence that is done to them, and it allows some perpetrators to believe they will get away with committing violence. Because such news reporting are critical to establishing what behaviour is acceptable and what is regarded as ‘real’ crime, in the long term and cumulatively, this reporting affects what is perceived as crime, which victims come forward, how some perpetrators behave, and ultimately who is and is not convicted of crime.”
acts of violence against women?
The UN Committee on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW) says in its General Recommendation No. 19 that states may be responsible for private acts “if they fail to act with due diligence to prevent violations of rights or to investigate and punish acts of violence.”
Due diligence means that states must show the same level of commitment to preventing, investigating, punishing and providing remedies for violence against women as they do other crimes of violence. Arguably, our poor rates of reporting and prosecution suggest that the UK is not fulfilling this obligation.
The last Government developed a national strategy to tackle this problem and the current Government has followed suit, adopting a national action plan that aims to coordinate action at the highest level. This has had the single-minded backing of the Home Secretary, Theresa May — who of course happens to be a woman. Under this umbrella, steps have been taken to focus on what works — although much more needs to be done, for example on the key issue of prevention –changing the attitudes that create a conducive environment for violence. Research by the UN in a number of countries recently showed that 70-80% of men who raped said did so because they felt entitled to; they thought they had a right to sex. Research with young people by the Children’s Commissioner has highlighted the sexual double standard that rewards young men for having sex while passing negative judgment on young women who do so. We need to rethink constructions of gender, particularly of masculinity.
End Violence Against Women welcomes the fact that the main political parties now recognize that this is a key public policy issue, and we’ll be using the upcoming local and national elections in 2014 and 2015 to question candidates on their practical proposals for ending violence against women and girls. We need to make sure that women’s support services are available in every area. And we’ll be working on our long-term aim of changing the way people talk and think about violence against women and girls — starting in schools, where children learn about gender roles and stereotypes — much earlier than we think. We hope Michael Gove will back our Schools Safe 4 Girls campaign. We also look forward to a historic milestone in April, when the UN special rapporteur on violence against women makes a visit to the UK to assess progress.
As Nelson Mandela said: “For every woman and girl violently attacked, we reduce our humanity. Every woman who has to sell her life for sex we condemn to a lifetime in prison. For every moment we remain silent, we conspire against our women.” While women across the world are raped and murdered, systematically beaten, trafficked, bought and sold, ending this “undeclared war on women” has to be our top priority.
Janet Veitch is a member of the board of the End Violence against Women Coalition, a coalition of activists, women’s rights and human rights organisations, survivors of violence, academics and front line service providers calling for concerted action to end violence against women. She is immediate past Chair of the UK Women’s Budget Group. She was awarded an OBE for services to women’s rights in 2011.
On 22 March 2014, the University of Nottingham Human Rights Law Centre will be hosting the 15th Annual Student Human Rights Conference ‘Mind the Gender Gap: The Rights of Women,’ and Janet Veitch will be among the experts on the rights of women who will be speaking. Full details are available on the Human Rights Law Centre webpage.
Human Rights Law Review publishes critical articles that consider human rights in their various contexts, from global to national levels, book reviews, and a section dedicated to analysis of recent jurisprudence and practice of the UN and regional human rights systems.
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Image credit: Crying woman sitting in the corner of the room, with phone in front of her to call for help. © legenda via iStockphoto.
The post International Women’s Day: a time for action appeared first on OUPblog.
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 8/24/2012
As a survivor of incest and ritual abuse (cults), I always wanted to be saved while I was being abused. But how could I tell anyone when my life was being threatened? I was too afraid to speak aloud (they said they’d kill me if I talked). The one time I phoned a crisis line, I whispered, and it was a fast conversation. But there’s a free app now –Circle of 6–that *might* have helped me–and that I think could help a lot of children, teens, and adult women (or men) in danger, especially from something like date or stranger rape, or assault. (I think it’s harder when it’s your parents abusing you.) This app sends a text message to six friends that you pre-arrange to be your safety people, letting them know your exact location (through GPS). Depending on what you’ve decided ahead of time, this could get your friends to come pick you up, or call you to interrupt an uneasy situation or to check in on you.
There is also another app, Bipper, and Bipper For Kids, that does a similar thing.
I think these apps may help protect a lot of women and kids in danger, and help to save lives (and prevent trauma). They are also being used by people with Alzheimer’s, and even people going on long hikes or rides by themselves. Of course, you have to choose your safety people carefully. But if you have people you trust, this can help a lot.
I wish I’d had this app when I was a child and teen–though since I didn’t have anyone safe around me (cults make sure that doesn’t happen), it wouldn’t really have helped. But I can see it helping a lot of people today. The characters in my books could sure use these apps. And many of the teens who write me could have, to.
If you think these apps are useful, I hope you’ll let your friends know. We need everything we can use to help ourselves and others be safe.
Update: It looks like neither app is available for Android phones–which is what I have. BUT there are some other women’s safety Android apps. A list of safety apps for Android, iPhone, and Blackberry is here.
Some safety Android apps:
bSafe (for Android, iPhone, and Blackberry) Sends an emergency message to your chosen contacts via text with your GPS location, and one contact will call you. You can also program a fake call to you to interrupt an uneasy situation.
Guardly (for Android, iPhone, and Blackberry). Fast way to connect to your family, friends, and 911 if you’re in danger, and help them reach and locate you. You can specify exactly what the emergency is, such as “peanut allergy,” “walking home alone,” “stroke.” (Though for some reason this version isn’t compatible with either my Android phone or my tablet.) There are both a free and a paid version–the paid version connects you up to 911. (I personally think this service should be free–but I didn’t create the app.)
I Am Safe which notifies your location to your partner or parent.
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 3/14/2011
I have long been grateful to the strong women who speak out about the effects of advertising on women. Jean Kilbourne is one of those women–intelligent, articulate, aware, helping people see the horrible effects of some advertising.
There is a lot of sexist, desensitizing advertising that negatively affects women, and how people see women, leading to sexism, eating disorders and poor body image in girls and women, and adding to violence against women (including rape, porn, and more). Women are often shown as objects, parts of bodies, thin and emaciated, and ideal in a way that no woman can ever be.
I love how Jean Kilbourne analyzes the ads, and helps people see what’s really going on. It can be eye-opening, and make you think. I find it fascinating. I hope you’ll check it out.
If you found that interesting, you might also want to check out another Killing Us Softly video:
Assault against anyone makes my heart shrivel. When it’s against someone who can’t defend themselves because they are too young or not strong enough, then I’m filled with rage. No one should have to endure what you did.
Thank you, Lee. (hugging you) Yes, I wish there was no assault, rape, violence, abuse, torture ever.