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Calling all kids' book folks--writers, illustrators, booksellers, librarians, editors, etc. What has been the most OUT THERE story idea you've ever heard? I'm talking about those times when you're at a gathering and someone overhears that you have something to do w/kids' books. Then they immediately launch into the "I have a GREAT idea for a kids' book that I KNOW will get published soon..." and all you can do is sigh.

I'll start -- I was at a party a while back and a seemingly normal guy told me about his story idea. It was about a selfish child who loses her precious red shoes. She needs to be taught a lesson... (so far okay) and THEN things got interesting. "The girl whines that she can't find her shoes and Jesus comes in the form of a giant hand which comes from a cloud to tell her she doesn't need the shoes and she should learn her lesson..." This guy with beer in hand blabbed on and on about Jesus and shoes and even bunnies may have been involved, though I'm not sure. Then he said "So, you think you could help me with it?" "Help you?" I said. "Yeah, he replied, "help me get it published....

Originally published September 26th, 2006

Some (ah-hem…many) truths about being a children’s book author (or at least some truths about me). In no particular order.


Petrified of…

1) Running out of ideas

1) Getting burnt out

2) Reading a bad review that is in some small way right

3) Reading a bad review that is completely wrong but your editor says it’s not professional to send hate mail

4) Doing a story hour and noticing there’s a kid in the back who doesn’t care to listen!... or worse, throws spit balls and says something bad about your mama

5) Never meeting that goal to become a moderately successful and semi-known author

6) Not making the next sale and going back to living off of the credit cards and eating pasta 6 out of 7 days of the week (7 is reserved for being luxurious—McDonald’s 99 cent menu)

Worried publisher will…

1) Lose too much money on the books

2) Lose faith in the author

3) Not agree to make changes to the book’s design

4) Use ugly fonts

5) Continue to use the ugly author photo you mistakenly gave because you were sleep deprived

Sick of…

1) Pulling all night-ers

2) Not having time or energy to keep the work area clean

3) Tripping over random computer wires because you don’t have time to figure out where to put them

4) Accidentally drinking yesterday’s coffee

5) Constantly being reminded of work because the “office” is in the “home”

6) Publishers not understanding that creativity can’t be forced—a deadline can’t be made if the author or illustrator is having a mental block! It’s not like accounting! You can’t help it if your brain doesn’t want to be clever or smart or creative today!

7) Going to the doctor’s or the bank or the library or the bookstore or a wedding or the park or a family reunion or on the bus or the bathroom or the soup isle and meeting someone who has a story that he/she thinks would make for the BEST KIDS’ BOOK EVER!!!!!!

8) People asking if it’s okay if they mention you in his or her cover letter

9) People asking for editors’ names and phone numbers

10) Hearing that kids mostly spend their time watching TV and not appreciating a good story on paper

11) Reading that Madonna’s books are on the bestseller list

12) Reading that Madonna is now hiring Rembrandt to illustrate her new book because her spiritual advisor brought him back to life for the very occasion.

11) Reading that 5 more celebrities will be writing about their childhoods because they think when they stuck a cookie up their nose at the age of 6 it was much funnier than when you did it…because they’re celebrities.

12) Knowing your books are just as good or better than the ones selling like hotcakes but no one has heard of your books so Joanne Smith will settle for what’s on the cardboard display with the flashing lights and toilet flushing sound because she’s in a rush and her kid’s is getting whiny and your

I ask myself this question a lot. I also often ponder who knows what kids will like and why and then I ask if it’s possible to entirely determine what the picture book age will like at all. Do authors know best? Do editors know best? Librarians? What about those pesky reviewers? Consider the picture books you liked as a kid. Why did you like them? Was it the story? The illustrations? Was it the way your mom or dad read to you? Can an adult read to a child in a certain, excited way that will make them like the book despite the so-so storyline? I asked my mom why she never read us kids Dr. Suess, for example. She said “Because I never liked Dr. Suess. I read to you kids the books that I liked.” Then again, as I recall, there was a book that my little sis LOVED that I know my mom got bored with pretty quickly. It was called Bear By Himself. None of us could figure it out… yet she loved it.

SO many things go into what influences kids… the same as adults. They watch TV and then want the next superman book. That’s why they can’t be trusted to pick out books for themselves at the bookstore! I’ve watched them in action.
Mom says—pick out one of these books that you’d like Mommy to read…
Kid—goes straight for the spinner rack
Mom—Honey, no, not Scooby Doo
Kid—Ignores mom and continues pulling out Scooby Doo books
Mom—Honey you’re making a mess. Please put the books away and come sit down so we can read a story
Kid—continues making a pile and starts shoving Scooby Doo books in mom’s face
Mom—shakes head
Kid—knocks down the whole rack of books and booksellers come running.
Mom—gives up on reading a book and lets kid buy a sticker book
Hmmm, maybe kids aren’t reading at all! This is why authors are poor!

Anyway, one thing I do know—children’s book authors are in touch with that inner child. They REMEMBER being a child probably better than most people. They will never forget their likes and dislikes. It’s not enough to witness your kid doing something cute and then turn it into a story. Kids don’t want to read about themselves all the time. They want to live out their fantasies… get out their frustrations… and so on. Let's just hope all those parents aren't buying sticker books!

Originally published September 14, 2006

I was working on some sketches for one of my new book ideas and I was at work while I was doing this. My character - ME - fell into a small child while on roller skates and and flew into the air. I was trying to figure out what kind of expression I, as a teen, might have. Mind you my cartoons have little lines for mouthes and so you'd think it wouldn't be that difficult a task but sometimes it is - especially when I just have one line to play with! I realized while doing this that i must make the facial expressions to create them on paper. I was contorting my face into all sorts of lovely forms while standing at the register. I wonder if anyone noticed?

Do other artists do this too?

Daniel Pinkwater loves this book. He reads the whole story and then talks about it. Listen here!



Um... I'm glad he likes a good suicide story. I've always been puzzled by this book. Puzzled and FASCINATED. I have to run out the door but more talk on this later! But listen to this story and check it out. Then we can "discuss." Or I'll discuss and you can read....

It’s my turn to post and just as suspected, I can’t come up with a thing to say. Certainly nothing insightful like the previous posts by the wonderful and talented others. I’m going to take this opportunity to throw some random thoughts and questions your way. Consider this sort of a free association.

My first question is––if you are a writer, what would you do if you won the Newbery? If you are an illustrator, what about the Caldecott? I’m afraid, sadly, that I’m the type of person who can never truly enjoy things for what they are. This is a conversation I posted on my personal blog––

What would I do if I became successful?
On Monday, while at work, a coworker asked what I would do if I ever won the Caldecott.
"Yeah, like that would happened," I said.
She said "You'd pass out, wouldn't you?"
I said "I would never win. It's like winning the lottery. It's not gonna happen."
"But you'd pass out."
"No, I wouldn't."
"Yes, you would."
"No, that wouldn't happen. This is a silly conversation."
"You'd pass out. I would."
"IF that happened, and I got the phone call, then I'd think someone was prank calling me. I'd tell the caller they were mean and that it's not cool to do something like that. Tricking people is not nice"
"Well, once you realized that it was for real, you'd pass out."
I thought for a moment. "No, I'd worry about giving a speech. I'd worry about what I was supposed to wear. I'd worry that I wouldn't be able to get up early enough to make it onto the Today Show."

My second random thought is I guess more of a complaint––I can’t stand that 3 out of the 4 publishers I’ve worked with want the cover before any interiors. Obviously you want the cover to reflect the book as a whole… but how can you do that if you don’t know what the rest of the book will look like! This is a constant problem. It is also a problem when you’re not quite sure what you want your characters to look like and keep changing your mind. Okay, the “you” in this rant is obviously a fill in for “me.” If there are others out there who feel the same way, speak up! It’s time we illustrators take a stand!

Here’s another random thought––I often forget how large my desire and desperation was to be published. At the tender age of 22, fresh out of RISD, ALL I wanted was to be published! I didn’t care if I was successful or had money or anything else. That was my one goal. I remember when I got the “phone call.” Actually, it was a phone message. I had just moved to NYC and was not mature enough to leave normal voice mail messages. Instead, I did accents. One week it sounded like a southern belle lived in the little Williamsburg ghetto-style apartment while the next week one could swear it was someone from Englad. Confusing? Yes. Funny? I thought so! I think my editor-to-be called back three times before leaving a very discombobulated message. She said something like “Um…I don’t know... um... I don't know if I have the right phone number… this is…um…I’m looking for Meghan McCarthy. This is so-and-so from Viking Children’s Books and I