by Sally Matheny
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| Smushy Kisses at Family Reunions |
Is there cringing, wincing, and gnashing of teeth at just the thought of a family reunion? Perhaps you had an agonizing experience as a child. Some crinkled stranger planted smushy kisses on your cheek. Then, pulling you away from your mother, the stranger weaved you through a chattering sea of unfamiliar faces. Finally, she anchored in front of another foreign body and the torture began.
“This is your mother’s great aunt’s, second cousin, Bertha, who first married Joe Schmitt, who was a tire salesman, but then he died, and about ten years ago she married John Brown, who manufactures straight pins in Detroit and he just so happens to be your dad’s podiatrist's first cousin! How about that?”
Excruciating. But you’re an adult now and here are three crucial reasons why you need to attend your next family reunion.
Remember
When multiple generations gather, there will always be times of remembering special moments from the past. Births, school days, weddings, funerals. While certain memories will mean more to some than others will, this is your heritage.
Even if you’re attending your spouse’s family reunion, you can learn a great deal. Maybe listening to your mother-in-law’s childhood memories will give you a better understanding of why his family celebrates Christmas the way they do. What annoyed you in the past, you may perceive differently now.
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| Too often, an unforgiving spirit is a person's only legacy. |
Pausing to reflect on the past brings joy, knowledge, and healing. Perhaps the reason many people resist a family reunion is due to a past hurt.
Aunt Bertha said or did something she shouldn’t have five, ten, or fifty years ago and for whatever reason people chose to hold onto that strife rather than letting it go. Bitterness was chosen over forgiveness. Pain over joy. Too often, an unforgiving spirit is a person’s only legacy.
What healing might take place if you go to your next family reunion?
Record
If there’s emotional or physical healing in the family, record it! Everybody has a story. A family reunion is a wonderful time to record those stories. Make a scrapbook or journal. Better yet, make a video.
Are there any veterans willing to share their experiences? Those who survived a war can instill fresh perspectives on freedom.
Who survived an accident or a disease? A problem at work or their first day of high school? Survivors bring strength and hope to the family.
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| Survivors bring strength and hope to the family. |
Ask the older ones to recall interesting tidbits about the family’s ancestry.
Even recording opinions on current events will be an interesting piece of history for the next generation.
No family reunion will ever be the same. The dynamics change. People come and go, jobs vary, and events alter our lives.
So often, we never submerge past the friendly greetings. Families need to go deeper conveying their life experiences. They inspire us and we can encourage them to keep pressing onward. Everybody has a story that can affect others. You need to share your story.
Recount
If nothing else, family members need to recount God’s blessings to the next generation. How have you seen God working in your life and the lives of others?
Describe times when God answered your prayers, when he brought healing, and when your needs were met.
Share experiences where your faith was tested and God was glorified. Consider the value others could glean from lessons you learned through setbacks and poor decisions.
If you carve out time for your next family reunion, and share the love of Christ, what eternal rewards are possible? It is not within our power to fathom how God can use us. He is quite capable of making transformations we never thought possible.
…which he commanded our ancestors
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
even the children yet to be born,
and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
and would not forget his deeds
but would keep his commands.
Psalm 78:5b-7 (NIV)
Is it time for a family reunion?
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| Live out your faith at the next family reunion! |
Reflect on what’s worth remembering, and what things are best left in the past.
Record family stories to share for generations to come. Recount God’s blessings and faithfulness.
It’s quite possible, family reunions will have a quirk or two. With a large gathering of imperfect humans, we’ll experience occasional flawed moments. For some, showing love to family is more difficult than it is to friends. God freely offers His assistance with that. He’s the master demonstrator of mind-boggling grace.
If you truly believe you’ll attend a perfect, glorious, and joyful heavenly reunion one day, then live it out at your next family reunion.
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I love the beauty of poetry and stand back in admiration of poets. For me the writing of poetry has always been an elusive art, and I have feared to tread that path.
But you are right - poetry can open eyes, and you have inspired me to have a go, trepidatiously...
Friend's House sounds like an excellent place to work. The poem First Impressions is very moving and, as you say, it gets the message out there to many people who would never read prose about the Boer War. Sometimes fewer words can be so much more powerful than a tome.
This sounds fascinating, Miriam. I'm no poet, but I like the idea of trying this.
Sue
I'm glad so many of you feel it would be good to try this. If Kim runs another workshop I'll post it on Balaclava and maybe some of you could come along. I didn't really know about this idea before working with her. Apparently found poetry is very big in Canada.
It was a lovely occasion, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, the refrain of my poem, I feel I must point out, was pirated from Gerard Manley Hopkins!
I was hugely impressed by how well and powerfully the poems made out of other people's writings came across. Miriam's was brill! And the Boer War one, in particular, also great. Thanks, Miri, for inviting me.