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I read Running Out Time by Margaret Haddix Peterson, a former journalist, after a week of reading Lois Lowry's books The Giver, Gathering Blue and The Messenger. I didn't start to think about similarities between them until I noticed a quote on the back of Haddix's book by Newbery winner Richard Peck (A Year Down Yonder, 2001) that reads, "If Ray Bradbury had written The Giver, the result might

Author/Illustrator: Tom Tierney

Anyone following the election knows that every Republican nominee had been desperately trying stake claim as the heir apparent to Ronald Reagan. Mitt Romney had the looks, but not the soul. Fred Thompson had the acting chops, but not the stamina. Mike Huckabee had the charm, but not the stature. (I'm not even going to bother with Giuliani and Ron Paul... the rest of the country isn't, why should I?)

Now, for all intents and purposes, there is one GOP candidate left standing: John McCain. And now, thanks to Tierney's book, McCain can actually put on Reagan's clothes and try to convince America that he is Reagan's true successor.

Though I don't see it happening. Reagan's greatest asset was his gift as an orator--he was such a great speaker that he fooled the country into thinking that a silly idea like Trickle-down economics made sense. As for McCain, his speeches sound about as convincing as a 4th grader reading the book report that his mom wrote for him.

But still, let's take a look at how McCain might conjure the spirit of Reagan to convince America that he is as paper-thin as the Gipper himself.

Straight Shootin' John McCain

I am the candidate that is not afraid to tell it like it is. I shoot straight from the hip. I drive the Straight Talk Express. And the straight truth is that despite my better judgment, I have no choice but to pander to my party's base in order to secure the Republican nomination.

If that means supporting the Bush tax cuts, so be it. If it means fudging my stance on torture, why not? If it means denouncing evolution, bring it on! In fact, if I did see a dinosaur, I would shoot it dead and serve it at my next fundraiser to prove just how straight I can shoot... at whatever it is the base wants me to take aim at.



Damage Control McCain

What, this picture? I've told you already that Ms. Iseman and I are merely acquaintances. I am saddened and frustrated by the obvious liberal media bias being perpetuated by the New York Times.

I also find it comical--if a bit flattering--that anyone would believe that a man of my age would still have any sexual impulses left. Because my friends, let me assure you... when it comes to little John McCain, he's been little John McCan't for some time now.


Bedtime for Bonzo McCain

My friends, we live in dangerous times. We must take care not to let our guard down lest we allow the terrorists to win. Just like Ronald Reagan held firm when caring for an unruly chimpanzee named Bonzo, I, as your Commander In Chief vow to accept the challenge and stare the great ape of terrorism in the eye. And trust me my friends, I won't be the first to blink.

The Democrats don't have the backbone to put Bonzo to bed. But I assure you, the American people, that when I am President, I will not rest until we get the monkey of terror off our backs and we put the issue to bed once and for all.


When I consider the prospect of another neglectful Democratically-led country, I think back to something the great Ronald Reagan once told me. He told me, "Johnny, whether you're babysitting a chimp or battling terrorists, you can be sure of one thing: If you turn your back for even one second, you are going to get feces thrown at you." So America, the choice is yours: do you want to get feces thrown at you? I didn't think so.

I'm still proofreading the second volume of ABSOLUTE SANDMAN. It's not just proofreading the comics -- I just finished going through the script for Sandman 23 -- the first time I'd read it since I wrote it back in 1989...


Which means I'm not writing the story of how "Ivory Bill" Stiteler and I figured out what was wrong with the house network (unsurprisingly it sort of had something to do with the photo back in this icy entry), and I'm barely blogging about the Cornish Tamworth Racing Pigs and my puzzlement over the animal rights spokesperson's quote at the end of the article, which seems to come down in favour of killing the pigs as long as they don't have to race. If I was a pig, I can confidently assert that I'd rather race than be eaten. And I'm not going to blog about the campaign to get Northampton's Finest Son an honour of some kind (http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/AlanMoore/) which seems very sweet, but frankly I'm not interested unless they make him Official Wizard of England. Now that would be an honour. An MBE, on the other hand doesn't seem the sort of thing that Alan would need.

Over at http://www.birdchick.com/2007/05/memorial-day-bee-update.html you can see photos and even some videos of Bill, Sharon, Lorraine and Cabal the wonderdog a bee-ing on Saturday in my absence. That's a blog entry. (This isn't.) And Sharon was so impressed by Clan Apis that she's decided to write a graphic novel about Peregrine Falcons, and is looking for an artist -- learn more at http://www.birdchick.com/2007/05/seeking-comic-book-artist.html.



I know you're fond of the Web Elf, and we're all fond of the Web Elf for doing such a great job with the site -- but if things ever get tough, and you've got to let her/him/them go, you could always be your own webmaster, like this author:


http://noonebelongsheremorethanyou.com/


I've never heard of her, have no idea if her writing's any good, but that's a great idea for a site -- if I wasn't poor and all, I'd run out and buy her book right now. And thanks many times over for your own site, it's the best!-- Teresa C.


Yup. That's the kind of website that makes you want to buy the book and give chocolates to the author. How cool.



How did you get ahold of so many Jack Benny recordings?-Ticia



I think I got them at http://www.otrcat.com/jackbenny.htm

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Now back to proofreading (and colour-checking, and obsessing over details on) A Game of You...