Congratulations, Sue Fondrie! You have written the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel in 2011.
That is, according to the good-natured judges over at the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
Here’s Sue’s amazing (and surely deserving) effort:
“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”
Sue, an associate professor at the University of Wisconsin, is the 29th grand-prize winner of the contest. The runner-up sentence was perpetrated by one Rodney Reed of Tennessee:
As I stood among the ransacked ruin that had been my home, surveying the aftermath of the senseless horrors and atrocities that had been perpetrated on my family and everything I hold dear, I swore to myself that no matter where I had to go, no matter what I had to do or endure, I would find the man who did this . . . and when I did, when I did, oh, there would be words.
According to Wikipedia (which I love, btw, I don’t care what you say), Edward Bulwer-Lytton was a bestselling 19th-century novelist who coined the phrases, “The great unwashed,” “the pen is mightier than the sword,” and the classic opening line, “It was a dark and stormy night.”
It’s my turn to enter a contest! Scroll down for my entry in the first line contest hosted by Brenda Drake over at Brenda Drake Writes. I’m ready for your critiques, fellow blogfesters! Genre: Picture Book On Monday, Mom cooked 8 … Continue reading →
I was reminded that the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton winners had recently been announced. I always enjoy these each year. This is the annual contest for the worst opening line (Since 1983). It is named after Edward George Bulwer-Lytton who wrote the famous opening phrase that Snoopy used so often: “It was a dark and stormy night . . .” [Paul Clifford, 1830].
If you get a chance check out the winners for this year at http://bulwer-Lytton.com .
One of my favs was the romance winner:
Melinda woke up suddenly to the sound of her trailer being pounded with wind and hail, and she couldn’t help thinking that if she had only put her prized hog up for adoption last May, none of this would be happening, no one would have gotten hurt, and she wouldn’t be left with only nine toes, or be living in a mobile home park in Nebraska with a second-rate trapeze artist named Fred. (by Ada Marie Finkel. Boston, MA)
HAH! (But it does make you want to keep reading, doesn’t it?)
Entries are taken all year long for the next batch of winners, so why not contribute if you’ve got a sentence that just isn’t working? Make it as awful as you can . . . who knows, you might be one of next year’s winners. And teachers, have your students–just for a fun respite from studying good writing—try writing the worst sentence they can. Have some samples of purple prose around, or first lines from genre fiction for them to imitate.
Have fun!
Ciao,
Shutta
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Oh Donna. I read that and my first thought was …” huh? rhubarb? Why in the world would she do that??”
So, you got me on your first line. I have to read on to find out why so much rhubarb all on Monday?
I wish you success with your first line.
That’s a lot of rhubarb! I absolutely need to know why. Which means your first line has done it’s job. Great work.
I know rhubarb is good for you but…
That sounds like a cute book.
Good luck.
Rhubarb? You made the reader laugh and become curious all in one line. Great job, Roland
Thank you all for the encouragement!
I love this. It’s funny and cute and I really want to find out what’s with the Rhubarb!
Thanks for your comment on my entry. (I’m lucky #13 on the list)
Yep, I’d read on to find out what in the world mom’s going to do with that much rhubarb!
Great line
Christi Corbett
http://christicorbett.wordpress.com
Great job at peaking curiosity… why 8 pounds of rhubarb.
Yum! It made me hungry for some strawberry rhubarb pie!
Okay, I’m hooked. Why did Mom cook eight pounds of rhubarb?
I’m with the rest, what’s with all the rhubarb? Like the fact that it is not a common food that kids would know about, too. That makes the reader more interested in what the book is about. GREAT job!
Thanks, y’all. I appreciate the feedback. I’ve visited many of the other contestants pages, but not sure I’ve commented on everyone’s. Still got work to do!
I love rhubarb! The only thing I can add to everyone’s lovely comments is that I’d spell out 8 unless this is a counting book.
Good luck!
Great line, now I want to know what 8lbs of rhubarb will make. A lot of rhubarb crisp? Rhubarb pie?
Thanks! I hope it catches an editor’s eye, too!
Thank you! I was wishy-washy about the number 8. I know I’m supposed to spell it out, but wondered if I should in this book. Thank you for your help!