This week, we continue to add to our collection of rhetorical devices.
Parallelism uses balance and three beats following a sentence or clause with a phrase that starts with a similar kind of word (adjective, adverb or noun).
The book was damaged1, damaged beyond all hope of repair2. (balance)
Jane loved him more for it1, more than she loved her books2, more than she loved herself3. (3 beats)
Personification attributes an animal or inanimate object with human characteristics.
The book hid its secrets from her.
Phatics are used to begin or interrupt the flow of a sentence without adding meaning to it and act as speed bumps. They are used to strengthen the connection to the reader and can impart a confidential tone. It can raise or lower the dramatic potential of a clause, it can emphasize an important claim, certify content, or negate content. Be sure they are not used to preface an information dump. They include, but are not limited to:
- after a fashion
- after all
- after all is said and done
- almost inevitably
- amazingly enough
- and I agree that it is
- and whatnot
- as a matter of fact
- as everybody knows
- as I believe is the case
- as is widely known
- as it happens
- as it turns out
- as I’ve pointed out
- as unlikely as it may seem
- as we can see
- as you can see
- at any rate
- believe it or not
- curiously enough
- fittingly enough
- for God’s sake
- for some reason
- for that matter
- hi
- how are you
- I am reminded
- I can’t help but wonder
- I might add
- I suppose
- if conditions are favorable
- if I may call it that
- if time permits
- if truth be known
- if you get right down to it
- if you know what I mean
- if you must know
- in a way
- in a sense
- in my mind
- in point of fact
- in spite of everything
- in the final analysis
- it goes without saying
- it is important to note
- it is important to remember
- it occurs to me
- it seems to me
- it turns out
- just between us
- just between you and me
- let’s face it
- let me tell you
- make no mistake
- my Lord
- not to mention
- of course
- one might ask
- or as unlikely as it may seem
- shall we say
- strangely enough
- to a certain extent
- to be honest
- to my dismay
- to everyone’s surprise
- to no one’s surprise
- to my relief
- to my way of thinking
- to some extent
- what's up
- we should remember
- when all is said and done
- you know
- you know what
Next week, we will contine to stock your prose shelf.
For the complete list of spices and other revision layers, pick up a copy of:
Nightmare on Toast - the new riddle and personification poem at ps4k.com
So what's it all about?
What are the sword and 4 daggers metaphors for?
What exactly is that stinking, tummy-rumbling monster coming down the street?
But most importantly, who/what is the poem about?
There are lots of clues, even in the title...
Still stuck?
Click the link to find out. Then read the poem again to see if it makes sense now you know!
Last week we talked about a few poetic tools you could use while writing. Here are a few more:
METAPHOR:
This is when a writer says one thing, but actually is saying something else. Floyd Cooper speaks in metaphor in Coming Home: From the Life of Langston Hughes when he calls a train the old iron snake.
SIMILE:
Here the writer compares one thing to another with the word like or as. Example: I was as mad as the bumblebee Ferdinand sat on. My friend Eileen Spinelli is great at using similes. Here’s one from Something to Tell the Grandcows. Emmadine has travel to the South Pole and “Her teeth chattered like spoons.” Or how about this one from Rupa Raises the Sun by Marsha Wilson Chall, “the sun broke across the sky like an egg yolk.”
Ann Whitford Paul says in Writing Picture Books, “We write in metaphor and simile to give the reader a visual image instead of a plain description. ” Metaphors and Similes cut down on the words that would be necessary to describe what we want to say. This is a great tool for the picture book writer, especially, because editors are wanting shorter and shorter picture books. This is what Ann does when she want to create a unique, visual, and tone-perfect Metaphor or simile. She numbers a piece of paper from 1 to 10 and then she free associates until she has 10 possibilities. If she doesn’t like any of them, she continues 11 to 20 and keeps going until she creates one that seems perfect. Do I hear a few groans?
PERSONIFICATION:
With this tool we give human characteristics to something that is not human. If I say, “The book held me in its grasp all the way to the last page.” Everyone knows what I mean, even though books do not have arms. How about? “The icy finger of winter slipped down my shirt.” Winter doesn’t have fingers.
Want to try your hand at identifying the metaphors, similes and personifications below?
1. The moon is a bowl of breakfast cereal.
2. I ran, but danger ran faster.
3. Ryan didn’t want to go to Katie’s party, so he moved slow as a snail.
4. Jacob felt like a rabbit caught in a trap.
5. The tree is our umbrella, keeping us dry from the rain.
6. The quilt spoke stories of love and loss.
ANSWERS: 1. Metaphor 2. Personification 3. Simile 4. Simile 5. Metaphor 6. Personification
HOMEWORK: Now pull out that same manuscript from last week and read it through again. Did you use any of theses techniques? Do you see a place where you could use one of these tools to make your story more interesting or maybe even cut out a few words or lines? Give it a try. What do you have to lose?
Talk tomorrow,
Kathy
Filed under:
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Writing Tips Tagged:
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I am SUCH a fan (and user) of similes,metaphors and analogies, in general
Typically, the cliches enter my mind first, but I quickly push on to discover possibilities. I don’t do it the way Ann Whitford Paul does, actually making a list, but I go from one to the next and the next ’til I like what I’ve got.
Btw, this is at least the second time you’ve mentioned this book, Kathy, so it must be good!
“The icy finger of winter slipped down my shirt.” Great stuff
Thanks, Kathy!
Donna