How to use this Page

Well, I swore I'd give contest-entering a rest, but I can't resist the critique ones!! I need all the help I can get there. lol

Great interview and so timely. I need to revise my manuscript one more time for voice. I follow Natalie's blog. It's really helpful. Thanks for the contest.

Excellent interview - and what an opportunity with the contest!

Awesome interview!! Thanks for the contest :)

Great interview. I have had some very nice rejections from Mrs. Fischer in the past. Her criticism is spot on. I'd love to win this critique. As she said, MG voice is the hardest to nail. Good luck to all participants.

Such great information, thank you :-) I hear so many different views on voice, but this one just rings true with me ^_^

I've been thinking a lot about voice lately, so I appreciated this interview. Thanks for the great contest opportunity!

Thank you for the interview and for the contest. It is a great opportunity with a great agent!

What a great interview! Thank you. And thank you and Ms. Fischer for such a great opportunity. I'd love a first chapter critique.

What a great opportunity! Thanks guys. And a wonderful explanation on voice, language and style. I agree voice is the hard part.

Fantastic interview! I love your posts. You guys do such a great job keeping us informed on all things Kid Lit!

I love that she said "Don't be afraid to let parts of yourself shine through into your characters." I don't see how I COULDN'T put the smallest bit of myself into each of my characters.

Great interview! Thank you so much!

This interview was excellent, and thanks for the opportunity to win a critique. :)

Sounds like some good advice. I'll give it a go.

Excellent interview...it's so great to get inside an agent's head, isn't it? And thanks to you both for the critique giveaway!

Thank you for this interview, and thank you Natalie for offering up a critique!

Fantastic interview and I think I just fell even more in love with Ms.Fischer - the Fifth Element is one of my faves too :)

Great interview - thanks for the opportunity!

Thank you! Voice it the hardest thing to nail, especially if I try to hard. Hope I'm getting it right!

I'm learning so much about voice with Natalie's interviews and with your workshop. You all rock! Thanks for supporting us writers by offering wonderful workshops, contests, and guests like Natalie Fischer. :D

Great interview! Every time someone talks about how important voice is, it makes me feel better, because while I'm still agent-hunting, I've been given great feedback concerning my voice. It makes me hopeful and motivates me to keep trying :)

Thanks for the interview and the opportunity Natalie!

Happy writing all!

Great interview - and contest opportunity. Sign me up! :_

This was a great post and interview. Voice is definitely the most pulling-your-hair-out hardest thing to get straight.

Um, and I gave my given name when I signed up (it looked official, so I went with my legal name) for the chapter critique, so when there are no comments from Stephanie Marchi, I'm her...

I loved The Fifth Element! It was a great combination of quirkiness, visual beauty, and mayhem.

Hi Marissa and Martina - and hi Natalie

Really interesting interview. I think the most difficult part of creating a voice, is creating one that is different from your own natural voice - or at least convincingly different. Writing in character is like acting - takes skill and practice.

:Dom

Great tips! And can I say that I love Natalie just because she loves the Fifth Element? Such an under-rated movie. It has a high cheese factor, but still....gotta love it. One of my faves.

I think voice has got to be one of those elusive things to define but which I rely on to hook me into a story. Lovely contest. I'm in!

I love the Time Traveller's Wife. Such a fab book. Thanks for the contest :)

Nice interview -- thanks!

J.K Rowling's gift was to create voice without being in the first person. That is damn hard.

Voice can be such a tricky thing. Thanks for these tips!

Excellent advice, Natalie! Voice is definitely the hardest to nail down, but one you do, everything else kind of falls into place, so it's worth spending time on.

And I love the fact that you love ELLA ENCHANTED!

Thanks for the interview and the contest! I completely agree with the part about Southern dialogue being annoying - I like a little, but a lot makes it sound like the author has never actually been to the South. I read a YA book (won't say which one) that's set in contemp Virginia and all the girls were basically saying, "Why, I do declare!" I think the author must have written the book after watching Gone with the Wind.

A great interview and fabulous contest!

Great interview! That's the best description of voice I've heard so far.

I've learned so much for this interview! Thank you so much!

Michael

Hmmmm.. a six figure deal is on my wishlist for 2011 as well. Coincidence? =)

Thanks for this! Great explanation of voice. :)

Awesome interview. I loved the explanation of voice and style. :)

Great interview, her blog is also an awesome spot :)

Ah, voice. Everyone wants it, no one can define it. Thank you, Natalie, for your perspective. You've definitely given this writer some ideas about what makes a writer's voice shine.

Are you kidding me? A critique from Natalie Fischer? How awesome is that??? And this interview is sooo helpful. Off to check my WIP now :)

Thanks for the great look at voice. I hadn't heard someone talk about how voice is different than just language or style, but that concept makes a lot of sense. Thank you!

You guys are so awesome!

Fantastic prize, hope I win :)

Thank you for the wonderful interview--and the great prize opportunity. Happy blogoversary!

Great tips on voice. I find it easy in some chapters, and much harder in others.

I love the point about the voice being what makes you remember those characters - so true!! :)

"Voice is a point of view, a perspective. . . emotion, history, a sense of place, and senses."

This is brilliant definition of voice. It's so concrete. I've never heard it put this way. Thanks Natalie!

The interview was helpful. I thought to give contests a break, but this one is worth it.

Great insight on voice! Thanks!!

Great interview, great contest, great opportunity. You kind of rule. :)

Awesome! Thanks for the great interview. ;)

Great interview and great contest! Happy blogiversary!

Great interview! And great tips on voice too (which is, imo, the hardest thing to work on in writing)!

Thanks so much for giving what you do to the writing community! Great interview. Great prize!!!

Great interview. Thanks for the contest

Great discussion on voice. Thanks for shedding more light on the subject.

I've never been one to reread a book but I am one that will forever be swayed by a personal recommendation. Fifth Element is now in my queue, many thanks.

Great opportunity :)

I love finding blogs with so much great information--happy anniversary! I blogged about your contest, but I didn't see a cutoff time/date, so I just said you were planning on awarding the critique on Saturday.

Thanks for the opportunity!

One of the best posts on voice I've seen! It's such a hard thing to define or even put into words... so thanks! Awesome contest too!!!

Wow. That is the best explanation of voice I've seen! Most people just say something like, "Well, um, it's kind of just how you write, you know?"

Great advice and just what I needed right now. I'm editing my novel and trying to get a unique voice down is more difficult than I realized, but this explanation helps.

This is great article. It's good to know that 'voice' is FTW! I think that's what's so hard about 3rd person POV...how do you combine the author's voice with the character's? So complex, but so obvious when you see it done right!

Great interview and advice. Thanks Natalie!

Great interview. Very helpful. I love that Natalie is all about Voice. If I can read a book and not get caught up in all the little things, but have the voice carry me through them, it's a winner! What an awesome giveaway! Thanks and congrats on one year :)

Wonderful giveaway...Congrats on the blogaversary! Here's to many many more :)

Great blog. Glad I found it.

Great interview, very informative, and thanks for the contest. :) Major WOOHOO for the FIFTH ELEMENT! One of my fave movies.

I'm in! Thanks for a great post.

Terrific tips and contest - thanks for hosting :)

What a great interview and an awesome contest!

Voice is so hard to master! And like Natalie says, it's so subjective...

Interesting interview. Thanks for the opportunity to win a critique. I need it!

Awesome opportunity! A first chapter critique from an agent would be overwhelming. Thanks!

Marie at the Cheetah

Be still my heart; if thou had thought this to be true, thine heart would be aflutter but... I'm sure you meant:

We are going to invite those "top 25" writers who wish to do so to include a query letter as well as the first 250.

Such an open call might shut down the internet:D

But if you're serious, just write the words and I shall be upon it.;)

Anyway, this was a lot of fun. Thanks!

Thanks for the catch, Sangay! This is what I get for trying to do 16 things at once.

Martina

Thanks to Natalie Fischer for her generosity in providing comments! I'd love to post my first page, but right after I posted those first lines for the contest, I realized the first 50 pages of my book were throat-clearing--it's not about rehab at all--just peripherally! Am I allowed to post my new first page, or do I have to stick to the first five lines I posted here? Thanks!

Go ahead and post your new first page, if you want to. The point of the exercise is to help you get your mss ready. :)

Thanks--you guys are truly generous!

Thanks for the opportunity, guys! This contest was so much fun, and I'm glad I made it so far. :D

Name: Kat Zhang
Entry #: 1
Title: HYBRID

Query:

Fifteen-year-old Eva cannot move, cannot speak, cannot scream. In her world, two souls share each body. She had the misfortune of being born as the recessive, doomed to slowly lose command of her limbs and tongue until she is a voice audible only to Adie, the dominant soul. 

Eva has nearly accepted her role in life. After all, adults drilled acceptance in her from the beginning—one soul yields, the other controls. Anything else is unnatural. Besides, Adie yearns to be normal, and Eva cannot deny her that.

Everything changes when a friend reveals a startling secret: neither of her own souls ever faded, and she can teach Eva how to regain control of her body. But when these lessons are discovered, Adie and Eva are hospitalized, forced to undergo rounds of counseling and medical tests. The doctors are convinced they are mentally ill and must be cured—using whatever methods necessary. 

Even if it destroys Adie’s sanity. 

Even if it means Eva might disappear completely.

Together, Adie and Eva must reveal the truth behind the hospital’s grisly experiments and escape. Otherwise, the doctors' knives may be slicing into them next.

HYBRID, a Young Adult novel, is complete at 78,000 words.

***

First 250 words:

Adie and I were born into the same body, our souls’ ghostly fingers entwined before we gasped our very first breath. Our first few years were our happiest-then came the worries: the tightness around our parents’ mouths, the frowns lining our kindergarden teacher’s forehead, the question everyone whispered when they thought we couldn’t hear.

Why aren’t they settling?

We tried to form the word in our five-year-old mouth, tasting it on our tongue: Set-Tull-Ling.

We knew what it meant. Kind of. It meant...it meant one of us was supposed to take control. It meant one of us was supposed to fade away. I know now that it means much, much more than that. But at five, Adie and I were still innocent, still oblivious.

By first grade, the varnish of innocence began to fade. Our gray-haired guidance counselor made the first scratch.

"You know, dear, settling isn't scary," she'd say as we watched her thin, lipstick-reddened mouth. "Not scary at all. It might seem like it now, but it happens to everyone. And there's absolutely no shame in playing either role."

She never hinted at who she thought was destined for which part, but she didn't need to. By first grade, everyone believed Adie was the dominant soul. She'd move us left when I wanted to go right, refuse to open her mouth when I wanted to eat, cry "No" when I wanted so desperately to say "Yes."

Thanks for this opportunity. Here is a short keynote to tell you about the book, followed by the first page.

#29
Leah Odze Epstein
THE STANDOUT
A young adult novel @65,000 words


KEYNOTE: After her older sister gets sent away to rehab, good girl Carolena Gold steps out of her sister’s shadow and unleashes her inner Standout—infiltrating Student Government, starting up Open Mic nights, and writing poems that turn into songs for the guy she likes.


Chapter One

The first last straw was at the beginning of the summer before ninth grade, when Becca made out with Liam on my bedroom floor. I lay on my bed in the dark, staring up at the ceiling with my ear buds in, listening to my music cranked up to top volume to block out their sucking sounds.

She asked if they could come over to my house, since my parents weren’t strict, and if I could be a buffer zone because, “You know, Carolena, it’s hard to be alone with guys—they want so much.”

Sadly, I didn’t know this, but I said yes, because I liked to pretend that nothing bothered me, even though everything actually did. Since when had Liam O’Rourke become a contender in her book-of-a-thousand guys? I asked her, “Why Liam?” Her answer: “Because he’s there.”

Had Becca ever stopped to think that maybe I, who had an as-yet unwritten book of guys, liked him first? Well why would she, when I’d never mentioned that small fact to her or anyone else?

The second was what happened with Rachel, and how my parents didn’t trust me enough not to lie to me.

Later, I would realize that the “Rachel thing” had been the last last straw—the moment I decided, even without fully realizing it—that I was sick of being a doormat. That I wanted to be the one opening doors and stepping in, not the one being stepped on.

Thank you for the awesome opportunity and for your generosity judges and critiquers!

#2 Creepy Query Girl

‘How do you punish someone who’s already dead?’ Gretchen Grey tightened her grip around an umbrella handle while she waited for her parents to arrive. Her haunted blue eyes examined the London townhouse where she had grown up. Thick green ivy cast shadow around the entrance and spread towards the outer corners, almost reaching the top floor panes. Looking at it from afar, it seemed her home rested in the palm of a giant murky green claw.


A woman appeared in the doorway and opened her umbrella against the pelting rain. "Gretchen child! There's no reason to wait outside.”

Gretchen tore her gaze away from the townhouse and looked up at the chambermaid. “You know that’s not true,” she answered softly.

Mira gave her shoulder a gentle pat. The sound of heavy steps and subdued voices drifted towards them from the interior of the London townhouse before her parents emerged.

They carried her mother's casket out first. It was a rich mahogany, etched with gold. Gretchen imagined her mother would have approved. She’d had an eye for detail that many admired.

The group of men was followed out by a second assembly. Her father's coffin was almost identical to her mother's, though a bit longer. Her father had been a tall man, after all. Gretchen's breath caught in her throat and her hand flew up to clutch Mira's as it rested on her shoulder.

‘This is all my fault.'



query excerpt:

* Fourteen year old Gretchen Grey will grow up to be the most famous and sought after medium of the nineteen thirties and early forties. 'The Life and Adventures of Miss Gretchen Grey' follows our young heroine as she travels across the Atlantic after the deaths of her parents. She arrives into the care of her paternel Grandmother; a woman who holds a surprising perception of Gretchen's 'gifts'. This alternate history story is based upon real people and places in historical New England, including characters set within the wealthy Cheney family of Manchester, Connecticut and the little known Spiritualist Camp of Lake Pleasant, Massachusetts. The manuscript in its entirety is 102,000 words. My work should appeal to young adults between the ages of eleven and seventeen.

Thanks for the opportunity, guys! This contest was so much fun, and I'm glad I made it so far. :D



Name: Kat Zhang


Entry #: 1


Title: HYBRID



Query: 



Fifteen-year-old Eva cannot move, cannot speak, cannot scream. In her world, two souls are born into each body. She had the misfortune of being the recessive, the one doomed to someday disappear. But Eva never did.

She loses command of her limbs and tongue, becoming nothing more than a voice audible only to Adie, the dominant soul. Eva nearly accepts her fate. One soul fades, the other controls. Anything else is unnatural. Adie yearns to be normal, and Eva cannot deny her that.

But Eva remains.



Everything changes when a friend reveals a startling secret: neither of her own souls ever faded, and she can teach Eva how to regain control of her body. But when these lessons are discovered, Adie and Eva are hospitalized, forced to undergo rounds of counseling and medical tests. The doctors are convinced they are mentally ill and must be cured—using whatever methods necessary. 



Even if it destroys Adie’s sanity. 



Even if it means Eva might disappear completely.



Together, Adie and Eva must reveal the truth behind the hospital’s grisly experiments and escape. Otherwise, the doctors' knives may be slicing into them next. 



HYBRID, a Young Adult novel, is complete at 75,000 words.



***



First 250 words (I've made a few tweaks since entering):



Adie and I were born into the same body, our souls’ ghostly fingers entwined before we gasped our very first breath. Our first few years together were probably our happiest. Then came the worries—the tightness around our parents’ mouths, the frowns lining our kindergarden teacher’s forehead, the question everyone whispered when they thought we couldn’t hear.

Why aren’t they settling?

Settling.

We tried to form the word in our five-year-old mouth, tasting it on our tongue.

Set—Tull—Ling.

We knew what it meant. Kind of. It meant… it meant one of us was supposed to take control. It meant one of us was supposed to fade away. I know now that it means much, much more than that. But at five, Adie and I were still innocent, still oblivious.

By first grade, the varnish of innocence began to fade. Our gray-haired guidance counselor made the first scratch.

“You know, dear, settling isn’t scary,” she’d say as we watched her thin, lipstick-reddened mouth. “Not scary at all. It might seem like it now, but it happens to everyone. The recessive soul, whichever one of you it is, will simply…go to sleep.”

She never hinted at who she thought was destined to survive, but she didn’t need to. By first grade, everyone believed Adie was the dominant soul. She’d move us left when I wanted to go right, refuse to open her mouth when I wanted to eat, cry "No" when I wanted so desperately to say "Yes."

Thanks for this great opportunity! I'm just submitting my first page.

#31
Emerald's Keeper by Holly Dodson
YA Urban Fantasy

Mandy Samkirk had no warning of the life-changing events about to unfold; only the lingering worry from a recurring dream that nagged at her thoughts. She could still feel the shadow of evil that hung like an impenetrable cloud in the sky, the smell of decay. Cries for help echoed through her mind with panic so thick it was palpable. She squeezed her eyes shut to block the memory out; the cool kitchen counter beneath her arms anchored her to reality.

“We’ve got a special surprise for you today, sweetheart,” her mother said, setting the last clean plate in the rack beside the sink to dry. The bright smile on her mom’s face had been plastered there all morning.

“What kind of surprise? Is John coming?” Mandy tried not to get her hopes up but failed miserably.

The last time she’d seen John had been at Christmas over a year ago, and that had been the first time she’d seen him since his fight with Dad. He had really looked awful too, like maybe he had the flu or something. Mandy missed him more than she cared to admit.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Her mother turned to face her across the bar, a sadness in her eyes Mandy hadn’t expected. “He’s not coming. I did try to convince him but well, you know John. He sent you a letter though.” She rifled through a stack of mail on the counter and pulled out a battered envelope, “Here it is.”

Entry #100

QUERY LETTER PITCH:
Grayson was thirteen when her aunt and uncle died, leaving an emptiness that shattered the family. Before, Grayson and her cousins Willa and Ainsley, grew up together like sisters. After, they were torn apart as their individual families tried to move on from the tragedy.

Grayson's been apart from her cousins for three years but now, in what promises to be a family-filled summer, she's headed back to Arizona to reunite with them. Despite her excitement at seeing Willa and Ainsley again, things quickly become tangled as Willa's grief resurfaces and Ainsley does her best to push Grayson away from her. In trying to deal with the ways her cousins have changed, Grayson finds herself developing romantic feelings for a childhood friend -- a boy who's now dating Willa -- and now she must decide how much she's willing to risk in order to restore the relationship she used to have with Willa and Ainsley.

SITTING ON ROOFTOPS, complete at 59,000 words, is a YA novel about family and the different types of love. It's about making the wrong turn and how to put things back together when they fall apart.

FIRST 250 WORDS;
In seventh grade math they taught us that a triangle is the sturdiest shape, stronger than rectangles or pentagons or anything else. And that made sense to me. I understood, almost instinctively, what we spent multiple class periods on; I knew that three points were stronger than two, that the third corner gave the shape an added strength it wouldn’t otherwise have. That third corner, I knew, was needed.
I am the third corner, the point that makes the triangle work. I knew this when I was five years playing dolls with Willa and Ainsley and I know it now, a mile in the air, on my way to reunite with them after three years away. Three years apart, the corners of our triangle spread across hundreds and thousands of miles. Seb sits next to me, comic book in hand and his Bose noise-cancelling headphones (a remnant of our parents’ divorce, one of the things he stole from my mother’s boxes when she moved out) blocking out the noise of the airplane. He’s my older brother and my best friend and right now I wish he’d talk to me instead of reading. I’m nervous and I shouldn’t be nervous. I’m antsy and I shouldn’t be antsy.
“Seb,” I say.
He doesn’t hear me.
“Seb,” I say again, louder.
He still doesn’t hear me, but the girl sitting behind me does and she kicks the back of my seat. Nice.
I pull the headphones away from him. “Seb.”

Awesome openings. Great work people. Glad I'm not judging. Have a super day.

Congratulations to the top 10!

These are all so great! And Natalie is an amazing judge! Congrats to the top 10!!!

Yay! Congrats to everyone who made it this far! I can't wait to read them all!

Wow! These are awesome! Thank you so much! :-)

L.J. Boldyrev (Lacey)
#11

There’s a dead girl in the trunk and all I can think about is how white the trees are. There ain’t no street lamps on this stretch of road, but still the trees glow like they’re lit from the ground up.

“Not much farther,” Jack says.

I want to tell him he’s driving too fast, to slow down so I can get a better look at the trees, but I know we got to hurry. This dead girl won't stay dead for long.

congratulations, guys--love all these entries! Good luck.

great entries everybody!

#18 Jenn Fitzgerald

Madame Bhut’s Finishing School in the town of Whut was known across Amalthea as a respectable place to send your daughter if you were hoping to marry her to a gentleman; not for producing evil queens with ideas of world domination. That is, until Priscilla Martin escaped.

Even before she escaped, Priscilla was less than a model student. Miss Birch, the embroidery teacher, had been horrified to find that during her second week at the school Priscilla had started embroidering skulls and crossbones, instead of flowers, on all her projects. Miss Ash discovered that not only had the girl never had any drawing instruction before (which she considered a horrible oversight on the part of the girl's parents), but Priscilla was also partial to drawing dreary forests and populating them with monsters.

Congrats everyone! This was a great experience. Thank you.

These are great! Congrats to the top ten, woohoo!

These are all really good!

Congrats to everyone! These openings are fantastic!

Cambria Dillon
#28

Whoever said cell phones made life easier was full of BS. If it were true, then I wouldn’t have spent the past fourteen minutes sitting on my bed, half-naked, wondering why my thumb couldn’t do something as simple as press a button.

Girls did this sort of thing every day. Probably every minute at Pembroke, which meant I’d just wasted fourteen—no wait, fifteen—opportunities to prove to Tommy that—damn it Kendall, just do it already.

Grinding my teeth, I lifted my arm and pointed the viewfinder at my chest.

Awesome! Congratulations on making it this far, everyone!

#58

Dearest Mother;

I know you’ve been wanting to hear the latest gossip from this end of the underworld, but the truth is, that there hasn’t been much going on since his Evil Lordship succumbed to death by piano. Hopefully you’ll be pleased that I’ve been trying not to complain about the piano not landing on Grok instead (and that I’ve only been taunting him in the gruel line at breakfast). Also, no matter what you’ve heard, I was not the one who gave him that atomic wedgie.

As for the new guy - it’s not right to speak ill of the heir to the Evil Lordship, but the kid is hopeless. I don’t usually want to give up on the new evil overlord this quickly, but I’m telling you, I’ve spent several weeks observing him and I don’t think this kid has a mean bone in his body!

#11 L.J. Boldyrev, ftw.

it's written in a clearly unique voice that makes me want to know more about the narrator, the implied preceding action is so tantalizingly subtle it's almost maddening, and the narrator's reaction to the trees-as-distraction from the preceding action is, i think, very true to life.

again, this is a full story i want to read. now.

WOW, what a stunner of a fifth sentence, LJ Boldyrev! You are my fave, #11! I would SO like to read the rest of that book. Do I really have to wait until you get published???? Do you need a line-by-line critiquer? That's the kind of ms swap I tend to do. :)

Tom, Carol, wow. Thank you guys, so much!
Tracy, I wanted to say that I love your opening!
They're all fantastic but your voice really stands out to me, as does the subject matter.

Congrats to all the winners! I sure am glad I don't have to be the one to eliminate anyone. BTW, Marissa - you won my contest! Check it out.

Wow! I'm so excited to have made the top 10!!! There were so many awesome entries in the top 25.

#61

Homo sapiens sluttiwhen drunkus--the subspecies to which I apparently belong.

My best friend Ani handed me a tall, clear-glass cup of Armenian coffee, the kind her mom used for readings down at the Psychic Connection. "So did you at least use a condom?"

I shrugged. All 4’11” of her was going to kick my ass if I told the truth, that I was stupid and didn't use anything.

Congrats to this round's winners! Awesome job!

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

@ Lacey - Thanks so much for the compliment! I really like the voice in your beginning too, and love the tone you've set in your first 5. All of the entries are so good, yet so varied. I'm grateful to have made it this far, and I'm REALLY glad I'm not judging this thing! :)

Congratulations to all the finalists!

#66

Dragons are actually more curious than cats.

They proved it now, in the darkest corners of the Dreugan caves where the clan pretended to sleep. It was fairly difficult – the pretending – because of the human baby that was trying to wiggle her chubby hand into the black dragon’s mouth. Concerned about the burning acid that seeped from his tongue, he tightened his lips and gently nudged the toddler toward the blue dragon by his side, the one whose saliva was just cold and wet.

Obliging, the blue dragon pretended to yawn and left his mouth open so that the child could climb inside it.

Fabulous opening lines!

Congrats to those of you who made the top 10.

Such fantastic beginnings!

These are all fabulous- I can't imagine having to choose! Congratulations everyone who made it here. You are all obviously winners!

I'm waving the white flag here because these are so good. I wanted to say that you are all great hookers, but of course that doesn't sound right. But I'm so hooked by these. For each of these, I'm in awe of the author's ability to increase my interest with each successive sentence.

Anyway, here's mine, #57

Jacob shook the bamboo bars of his cage again, but they held fast. I couldn't look at him; not even when he whispered, "Blake, please."

I focused on Will, leaning casually against the cottonwood tree, a smile twitching the edge of his mouth as he watched Jacob. I wanted to feel as relaxed and confident as he looked. I had to convince myself that this experiment would work, that it would fix Jacob.

Great entries--I'm a little biased but my fave belongs to my blog Sister Lacey (LJ Boldyrev)!

Lol! Thanks Kristi!

Congrats to all the finalists! Great work guys!!!

Wow, these are all really good. At least we all get something whether we win first place or not! :)

#54 S. L. Bynum (Shanika Leiann)

There was no mistaking the darkness on the eastern horizon; they were coming.
Malaysa clutched the balcony railing as she stared out over the land in the predawn glow from the sky. The tinkling of metal tubes continued to ring out in the air; they were what had woken her up.
Her mother, standing by her side, bore a terrified expression. “Those are the alert chimes--the day we have been dreading has finally arrived."

#79
Holy crap! These are totally amazing and I can't believe I made it this far. Totally honored because I love them all.


I am suffocating inside my plastic lined steel barred cage; dying with the thickening silence and quiet sobbing coming from the other room. Locked inside for more than half of the day, my body twitches for the feel of the brisk air that causes my drool to freeze to my face. Big footsteps lumber down the stairs and instinctively I cower as far back inside my cage as possible, lowering my body to the pee-stained blanket in an attempt to make my big frame small while keeping my eyes downcast. A whine slips from me when he kneels in front of the cage, as I fear he is going to haul me out and give me a good beating. He stands, glaring at me with eyes full of hatred but then turns away, and just when I think I am in the clear he gives my cage a good hard kick, forcing it to almost roll over.

#47

The bonfire in the middle of the grand plaza of New Tikal sent sparks up to greet the low-hanging stars; the stars Mau B'ah-Pakal hoped were still speaking to him, because no one else was. He had failed his friends, offended the Emperor, and worst of all - he could barely think it - had he really shoved his grandmother?

The plaza was full of people celebrating the equinox, but Mau couldn't hide in the crowd. Although he had the chocolate skin and thick black hair of his people, his forearms and the back of his hands were covered with tattoos.

Unable to see his way through the close-packed multitude, Mau looked up to the stars and, hovering over the temple-pyramid like a thundercloud, the dark bulk of the Emperor's starship.

Yay! I'm loving reading all the entries for this contest. What a great idea. Here are my first 4 sentences:

#29
The day my parents tricked Rachel into signing herself into the “Program,” they tricked me, too, bringing me with them as a decoy. I should have known something was off when my father called a family meeting the night before. The last time we had a family meeting, my father told us our mom needed to go to the hospital for a little while so she could stop drinking. That was five years ago, when I was nine and Rachel was twelve, and I still thought a sister was someone you followed around.

Congratulations to the finalists! These are so good. Best of luck to all of you as the contest narrows down!

Awww poo, I've been cut. *sigh* Super congrats to everyone still in! I can't wait to see everyones next line! And I'm SO glad I'm not the one judging this!

#31

Mandy Samkirk had no warning of the life-changing events about to unfold; only the lingering worry from a recurring dream that nagged at her thoughts. She could still feel the shadow of evil that hung like an impenetrable cloud in the sky, the smell of decay. Cries for help echoed through her mind with panic so thick it was palpable. She squeezed her eyes shut to block the memory out; the cool kitchen counter beneath her arms anchored her to reality.

Congrats to the individuals who made it to the next round. I definitely wouldn't want to be judging this. It's getting tougher with each round.

Congratulations to all the winners and thanks for hosting this fun contest!

#43 (YA)

When Mom and Dad started throwing around the D word, I never imagined an old folk’s home would become my Post Divorce Relocation. I mean as far as top choices go, it’s right up there with a land fill. The kids at my old school would say this is karma and I had it coming. And, if I’m honest about it, maybe they’re right.

#73 (MG)

Not many people look down at a dead goldfish and wonder if that’s how they looked the day they died. Then again, I suppose not many people drown and then come back to life, either.

Only four days after The Accident, I ended up crammed around a toilet with Mom, Dad and my little brother to attend Gingersnap’s funeral. Mom had told me that Derek would understand if I wanted to skip his fish's send off, which was exactly why I'd insisted on a front row seat.

Congrats, everyone! Good luck!

#11

There’s a dead girl in the trunk and all I can think about is how white the trees are. There ain’t no street lamps on this stretch of road, but still the trees glow like they’re lit from the ground up.
“Not much farther,” Jack says.
I want to tell him he’s driving too fast, to slow down so I can get a better look at the trees, but I know we got to hurry.

These are all terrific! :)

Congrats to all the entrants! There's a lot of great stuff here!

#41

I died before I was even born.

It was April 13th, not a Friday, but it might as well have been. My mom was in labor with me as my parents’ car raced down the two-lane wooded road that passes for a highway in our part of Michigan. A thunderstorm raged, blotting out the last of the sunset.

#61

Homo sapiens sluttiwhen drunkus--the subspecies to which I apparently belong.

My best friend Ani handed me a tall, clear-glass cup of Armenian coffee, the kind her mom used for readings down at the Psychic Connection. "So did you at least use a condom?"

I shrugged.

#72

We stood side by side in the dark, me holding a pack of matches, my best friend holding the gas can.
“Burn it.” Finn’s voice was soft in the eerie nighttime silence, but full of edgy anticipation. With his face hidden in shadow under the hood of his team sweatshirt, he stared straight ahead at the school van spotlighted under the tall parking lot light.

Yay! This is so tough -- so many awesome openings here. Congrats to everyone!

#28:
Whoever said cell phones made life easier was full of BS. If it were true, then I wouldn’t have spent the past fourteen minutes sitting on my bed, half-naked, wondering why my thumb couldn’t do something as simple as press a button.

Girls did this sort of thing every day. Probably every minute at Pembroke, which meant I had just wasted fourteen—no wait, fifteen—opportunities to prove to Tommy that—damn it Kendall, just do it already.

Thanks so much for hosting this event.

Grats to all the finalists.

YAY!!! #30

Ellyssa, a.k.a. Subject 62, sprinted through the dark alley after escaping from her long-term captors who she’d thought of as family for eighteen years. Not a family in the traditional sense, but family nevertheless.

The sirens piercing the night an hour earlier had finally faded, but she still didn’t stop. Pumping her legs harder, she carried onward with the messenger bag thumping against her right thigh.

#14 -

My hope of living a normal life in Lindenville faded faster than my fifteen dollar jeans the moment I got to the school bus stop. How could anything be normal after you hear you’re living with a dead girl?

“That’s Laura’s house--you don’t belong there.”

I stared at the tall blonde who’d launched herself at me.

Adie and I were born into the same body, our souls’ ghostly fingers entwined before we gasped our very first breath. Our first few years were our happiest—then came the worries: the tightness around our parents’ mouths, the frowns lining our kindergarden teacher’s forehead, the question everyone whispered when they thought we couldn’t hear.

Why aren’t they settling?

We tried to form the word in our five-year-old mouth, tasting it on our tongue: Set—Tull—Ling.

Congratulations to everyone who passed :D I'm honored to be included here.

Wow, I didn't expect to get this far. Congrats to all the finalists!

#54

There was no mistaking the darkness on the eastern horizon; they were coming.
Malaysa clutched the balcony railing as she stared out over the land in the predawn glow from the sky. The tinkling of metal tubes continued to ring out in the air; they were what had woken her up.
Her mother, standing by her side, bore a terrified expression.

Congrats everyone!!!

#97

Life lines. Most people think of them as options game show contestants use to help themselves win a million dollars or something else just as equally lame. Me? I know different.

#18
Madame Bhut’s Finishing School in the town of Whut was known across Amalthea as a respectable place to send your daughter if you were hoping to marry her to a gentleman; not for producing evil queens with ideas of world domination. That is, until Priscilla Martin escaped.

Even before she escaped, Priscilla was less than a model student. Miss Birch, the embroidery teacher, had been horrified to find that during her second week at the school Priscilla had started embroidering skulls and crossbones instead of flowers on all her projects.

#57

Jacob shook the bamboo bars of his cage again, but they held fast. I couldn't look at him; not even when he whispered, "Blake, please."

I focused on Will, leaning casually against the cottonwood tree, a smile twitching the edge of his mouth as he watched Jacob. I wanted to feel as relaxed and confident as he looked.

#66

Dragons are actually more curious than cats.

They proved it now, in the darkest corners of the Dreugan caves where the clan pretended to sleep. It was fairly difficult – the pretending – because of the human baby that was trying to wiggle her chubby hand into the black dragon’s mouth. Concerned about the burning acid that seeped from his tongue, he tightened his lips and gently nudged the toddler toward the blue dragon by his side, the one whose saliva was just cold and wet.

#47

The bonfire in the middle of the grand plaza of New Tikal sent sparks up to greet the low-hanging stars; the stars Mau B'ah-Pakal hoped were still speaking to him, because no one else was. He had failed his friends, offended the Emperor, and worst of all - he could barely think it - had he really shoved his grandmother?

The plaza was full of people celebrating the equinox, but Mau couldn't hide in the crowd. Although he had the chocolate skin and thick black hair of his people, his forearms and the back of his hands were covered with tattoos.

#2
‘How do you punish someone who’s already dead?’ Gretchen Grey tightened her grip around an umbrella handle while she waited for her parents to arrive. Her haunted blue eyes examined the London townhouse where she had grown up. Thick green ivy cast shadow around the entrance and spread towards the outer corners, almost reaching the top floor panes.

#79
I am suffocating inside my plastic lined steel barred cage; dying with the thickening silence and quiet sobbing coming from the other room. Locked inside for more than half of the day, my body twitches for the feel of the brisk air that causes my drool to freeze to my face. Big footsteps lumber down the stairs and instinctively I cower as far back inside my cage as possible, lowering my body to the pee-stained blanket in an attempt to make my big frame small while keeping my eyes downcast. A whine slips from me when he kneels in front of the cage, as I fear he is going to haul me out and give me a good beating.

#100

In seventh grade math they taught us that a triangle is the sturdiest shape, stronger than rectangles or pentagons or anything else. And that made sense to me. I understood, almost instinctively, what we spent multiple class periods on; I knew that three points were stronger than two, that the third corner gave the shape an added strength it wouldn’t otherwise have. That third corner, I knew, was needed.

First off, I just want to say that I did not invite the aliens to drop into my backyard. At least not on purpose. So it's not like Ty and I were prepared to deal with the situation. Under the circumstances, I think we handled the whole thing pretty well.

Dearest Mother;

I know you’ve been wanting to hear the latest gossip from this end of the underworld, but the truth is, that there hasn’t been much going on since his Evil Lordship succumbed to death by piano. Hopefully you’ll be pleased that I’ve been trying not to complain about the piano not landing on Grok instead (and that I’ve only been taunting him in the gruel line at breakfast). Also, no matter what you’ve heard, I was not the one who gave him that atomic wedgie.

As for the new guy - it’s not right to speak ill of the heir to the Evil Lordship, but the kid is hopeless.

WOW! These are really awesome first lines. And they're all so different! You have quite a variety here. Congrats to everyone and good luck to those who move onto round 2. What fun:)

I can safely say that Natalie is going to have a tough time choosing the winners! These are some really AWESOME first lines!!

Good job everyone! Great lines. It is fun to see the variety.

#15 I need to know what that dream was about. Does the dream foreshadow the story? Or is the story all a dream? You can always have a wee bit more fun with your aunt than you can with your parents. This is bound to be an adventure!!!

Lots of great first lines!! I don't envy the person who has to sort through them :)

Ooh, the lines are all so interesting and diverse. This is a great contest to enter and to learn from. ";-)

Already off to a great start. So many provocative lines! It's so instructive to go through them all and learn from the ones that really jump out at you.

There are so many great first lines that make me want to read more. It's interesting to see the different ways people have approached it.

I don't know how Natalie is going to keep narrowing them down.

Thanks for this awesome contest! There are so absolutely intriguing first lines in there!- I wouldn't want to have to judge either. lol. Good luck everybody!

i love the tone of this one:

#11 L.J. Boldyrev
There’s a dead girl in the trunk and all I can think about is how white the trees are.

Great entries everyone, great variety! No one's done this yet, but I'll (be long-winded and) stick my neck out to give some critique-group-type feedback on some entries. I have to do it in 2 parts since it's long:

#24: Water churned all around like a water sprout encasing me in a prison.

--Do you mean spout or sprite? Typo? Still, this a nice image, with water churning and encasing someone, imprisoning them.

#27: The test began like all the rest, although the dead corpse look was different.

--This is nicely original, although it has a rhyming element that's slightly distracting (test, rest).

#52: If you're marked for trouble, it will trail you like a homeless dog, looking and acting like love but smelling like the shady bend of the river.

--I'm not sure what the shady bend of a river smells like, whether it's supposed to be a bad or a good smell (tho I assume bad). This dilutes the comparison cuz it's ambiguous. On the whole, this is a great line, and the homeless dog and "looking and acting like love" really work.

#57: Jacob shook the bamboo bars of his cage, but they held fast against his skinny arms.

--Technically, Jacob isn't holding the bars with his arms--he's shaking them with his fists or hands. My interest is caught though, to know why he's in a cage, and why bamboo.

#59: It wasn't the first time a good idea had come back to bite me in the ass, but i was afraid it might be the last.

--Typo, i not capped; easily fixed. Catches interest by wondering what the "good idea" is and how it went so wrong.

#64: All my crime books stated to never go inside and to call the police from a neighbor’s house, but I went in anyway.

--Intriguing line. It could just be me, but "my" crime books threw me at first, thinking the character was a writer who wrote these books. Are they really a possession instead? Also, you split your infinitive (to be verb: "to never go"), easily fixable to "never to go." This may not be a big deal since the narration is from the character's viewpoint and most people don't speak or think in proper English.

My critique-group-like comments continued:

#74: Artificial lights brightened beneath the protective red dome, giving the illusion of morning over the campus of Red Cloak School.

--Nicely lyrical, altho there's a bit of an "echo" with the red repeated in the same sentence.

#75: I looked down at my white knuckles that clutched the journal.

--This sets up good tension right off (hi, Judi!), but technically it's not someone's knuckles that clutch, it's his/her fingers or hands. Perhaps fixable if you inserted "as I" (as I clutched the journal) so it's the person doing the clutching instead of the knuckles.

#79: I am suffocating inside my plastic lined steel barred cage; dying with the thickening silence and quiet sobbing coming from the other room.

--Good mystery; we wanna know what's going on. A technicality though in that if you're hearing quiet sobbing, then there wouldn't be thick silence. "Plastic lined steel barred cage" feels like a bit of a mouthful, too. Plastic-lined would be hyphenated because those adjectives are dependent upon one another to describe cage. Also steel-barred.

#80: The man shook violently.

--We definitely want to know why this man is shaking so hard; you've created immediate interest, but a flag goes up when I see adverbs (cuz I used to overdo them all the time! now my problem is over-adjective-ing). Could you sub a phrase that is more unique? Not shaking like a leaf--that's a cliche--but a figure of speech or some more colorful way. We wanna hear his teeth rattling, see his hands trembling, watch his chin quiver. But perhaps you describe all that with your next sentence, so this may be a premature comment!

Those are my critiques, hopefully not discouraging. Just my opinion!

The ones--ignoring my own, cuz I'm biased one way or another--I think are very original and immediately compelling: #1, #6, #11, #18, #61, #73, #92, #93.

Best of luck, everyone!
Carol Riggs

Impressive list. Great contest. Good luck to Natalie deciding.

My goodness! Sheesh. I fear my To Be Read list is going to be out of control when these people are published!!

Great entries! Good luck everyone! And thank you gals for doing this!

Some of the other entries I instantly like are 8, 11, 27, 30, 65, 71, 72, 85, 95.

Well done, everyone. :)

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

I saw two people commented on liking mine. Just wanted to say thank you! :) And congrats to all and good luck!

L.J. Boldyrev #11... I REALLY want to read your book. REALLY. :)

A few others I like are:

#22 Good pull, because I both want to know the MC's name and why it would get them in trouble.

#35 I'm a sucker for oak trees so this just paints a great picture for me and makes me want to know more.

#45 Names can make or break something for me, a great combo like this is irresistible for me. Spoon? Awesome.

#59 This sounds like a slice of my life, which immediately establishes a kinship with the characters even though I haven't met them yet. Who HASN'T thought something along these lines?

#86 I love the voice already. Just stating the fact, smart-assed in the best way for me.

#93 I'm a total sucker for fairy tales, and retellings and new takes on the fairy tale archetype. Any kingdom with a gambling king and a queen obsessed with golden rose bushes is one I'd like to visit.

Well done all to entering. These are some fantastic first lines! I've picked my favorites (so hard to choose!) and will be watching to see which ones move up to the next round.

What a fun contest! Way to go Kidlit!

Rude ghosts! That book sounds hilarious. Love it : )

Wow, some REALLY awesome stuff there. Great contest.

Wow, there's so many great ones. I'd have a hard time picking just 75. And the next round isn't going to be any easier.

Can't wait to see the second sentences. :)

These are some amazing first lines. Good job everyone!

I wanted to pop on and say grats to everyone, and good luck.

I have to agree with everyone... I don't envy Natalie her task! There are so many great first lines here. What I really can't wait to see, though, is what happens with those that might be considered less of an instant Wow yet still good enough to make the cut. Will the snap of a second line push them ahead of the pack? It will be very interesting, IMHO. Now, to make a list of my faves :)

And Carol Riggs, your critique-group-like feedback was very tastefully done. Good insight.

Best of luck, Everyone!! Thanks, again, Marissa and Martina~

I like sooooo many of these! And I'm so flattered some of you liked mine--thanks! Although I could list another huge batch I'd need to read the second sentence before deciding, my top 20 (like Carol, above, not including my own) were entries 1, 6, 9, 11, 18, 21, 28, 36, 41, 45, 54, 56, 58, 66, 72, 76, 90, 93, 95, and 97. Great job, everyone!

Very nicely done. It's so easy to see the genres and target ages of so many of these.

SOME of my favourites were: 2, 9, 11, 36, 54, 66, 86

Great work everyone. :)

Huge thanks to Martina and Marissa for running this contest!!!

I know I already listed my favorites, but I love all the notes given above on specific entries! I wish I had time to go through each entry and say why I did or didn't choose it as a pick, but I've been thinking about the first lines all afternoon, realizing there were a few categories I could group them into that might help on a critique-groupish-take-it-or-leave-it level for those interested in feedback.

That said, I'm looking forward to seeing more notes here, since personally, whenever I hear something twice about my work, I realize it deserves special attention. Anyway, in a spirit of love and constructive criticism, here's my .02:

*Starts with someone waking up and/or mentioning a dream (ed/agent pet peeve): 15, 17, 31, 94.

*Word choice/tone might be too old for main character/audience: 33, 34, 85.

*Wanted to see more tension: 96, 99, 100.

*Intriguing but had to reread wording: 4, 14, 52, 55, 64, 68, 77.

*Unsure I wanted to read about this character (too scary, wanted them to be more exceptional, etc.): 2, 3, 7, 69 (p.s. my own entry probably falls into this category for a lot of people).

*Solid work, but I'm not the target audience; i.e., probably the next reader's favorite (the most über-subjective of my already subjective categories): 5, 10, 16, 20, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 39, 42, 43, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 53, 57, 59, 60, 62, 65 70, 73, 74, 79, 81, 83, 84, 87, 89, 92.

*Good but I needed more info (my anxious-to-see-the-second-line category): 8, 12, 13, 19, 22, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 44, 63, 67, 71, 75, 78, 80, 82, 86, 88, 91, 98.

Hope this helps!

I want to go through all the submissions, but I'm not sure if I'll have time for that so I'll just list my TOP TOP TOP FAVORITES right now.

7, 11, 16, 22, 36, 86, 95

Thanks to M&M (&N) for the contest opportunity! Thanks to those who liked my 1st line!
Here are the few that really grabbed me: 2, 3, 6, 22, 36, 65, 78.
Many of the others seem to be a genre I'm less interested in. I think seeing our 1st lines like this really illustrates how subjective this is. And it will be so interesting to see the 2nd and 3rd (etc) lines to see if our opinions change. I know I don't choose books to read by the 1st line only. So I'm looking forward to getting hooked later.

I love contests, they're so much fun. Thanks for hosting this.

For me, was hooked by these sentences: #1, 11, 18, 25, 29, 34, 52, 64, 65, 98. I tend to look for situations that intrigue me, and I wanted to know more about these. They are completely subjective to my tastes, of course. Others were well written, and I'm looking forward to line 2.

Thanks again!

I'm with Vicky in a way. I never understood the push in school to judge a book by the first paragraph. Unless it's a ten sentence paragraph and there's no hope of smaller ones on the page.

It always takes me a few paragraphs to really be absorbed. Before that I can easily be distracted by something as simple as the wind picking up.

I'm a front and back cover person. If it has a dark and foreboding cover, I'll flip it and read the hook. If I like it, I'm on it.

However, if I'm not into by the end of the first chapter, I stick it in the donate box.

My picks for intriguing content and why:

6: We've all had similar wishes, so it helped me immediately identify with the character.

25: While I think the flow of this sentence can be better, I know I'm going on a grand adventure kind of like, King's "The Body"

36: This is so not my kind of book, but I know it has an audience. So, based on that line, yes, I want to know why.

61: I admit it took me a minute to figure it out, maybe divide or hyphenate the slut when. Nobody really wants to think too hard especially in the first line. But I thought it was cleaver and might make a fine learning experience for Y adults, something I'm all for. No preach teaching.

86: I really like this voice and idea, but without the wordiness. We live in twitter world and every word needs to count and still keep the voice. ex: First off, I just want to say I did not invite the aliens into my backyard.

That's my five.

Oh and I hope not to disappoint Ara.:)

Gah! Contests like this are infuriating when you're within sight of "completed", but not quite there yet.

*glares at manuscript* Why aren't you finished yet???

Oh well, good luck to those who qualify.

Josin, Are you in revision stage or writing stage? If you are in sight of the end of a revision, I suspect it would be okay to enter. Since there will be five rounds of judging, the final winners won't be posted until July 23rd.

M & M

So...wip's may be allowable? *crosses fingers* woohoo!

Sounds like such a fab contest. Why, oh why aren't my revisions done yet.
Good luck to everyone.

It should be query ready by the end of this month/beginning of next, but I'd hate to enter and then not make it. Safer just to wait until all is shiny.

:-)

So very cool. Just retweeted it for you. :)

Great contest. Ditto what Josin said (1st comment) -- minus the "completed" part :)... If you'd be willing to postpone a couple of months :).

Good luck to the entrants.

Josin,

I applaud your caution and wisdom. This is a great opportunity, but there will be other opportunities, too. It's more important not to waste the agent's time and the time of the authors who will be providing the additional critiques. I have learned this lesson the hard way, believe me. NEVER query or submit anything until you have revised it, polished it, critiqued it, beta tested it, AND let is sit for a good long time. Rinse. Repeat. You don't want to kick yourself the way I have.

Sugar, see above. If the manuscript is done and you are putting in final, final edits, that's one thing. But if you haven't had it critiqued or beta read and then given a chance for the revisions to stew, please do not enter.

Thanks, everyone! We're looking forward to your entries.

Martina

Can you give us a hint about the submission procedure? Will there be a special form on the site, or by email?

Thanks for this awesome opportunity, M&M (&N)!

Vicki,

Great question -- we will put up the rules post and schedule at 6:00 a.m., and open the comments section at 8:00 a.m. for the first 50 submissions. Once we reach 50, we will shut off comments. (Only the first 50 will count if we go over--we both do actually have real jobs, too. :D) We will then reopen comments at noon for another 50 submissions.

Clear as mud?

This is so fabulous, ladies. I just don't think I'll be ready. Yikes. I thought I would be and then the other day a new opening scene that fits perfectly came out of nowhere. I knew I had to add it. I need to let it sit. Dang. But best of luck to everyone. My time will come.

I met P.J. Hoover after Book Expo! :-) Excited about the contest!

Setting my alarm to wake up on time for this on Thursday morning! OMG I'm nervous already.

Can't wait. :) Can we only enter once?

Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse

I'm waiting this one out and will be cheering from the sidelines...need to get the polishing gear out this summer.

GOOD LUCK to all those who have got their work in prime condition!

Well, I'm a little nervous to post stuff in a comments section. Any way to calm my fears????

I've got it on my calendar.

Wait, is this the tag line we're sending or an actual line from the novel? Sorry to be dense.

Oh, I can't wait!

Me and 300+ other MG/YA writers. :D

JayceeKaycee, good luck! You know what they say about the early bird ;)

L.J., PJ has been so generous. Whoever gets a crit by her is one lucky person!

S.A. and Ann Marie, you're such good sports! We'll be sitting on the sidelines... do I dare say with jealousy? :)

Angela, we ask that you post one opening line for the Eastern Time and hold out for any other entry until the second window. If after an hour (say 1 PM ET), it's not filled up, please post a different novel opening :) We just want to try and give as many people as possible a chance. Thanks for a really good question!

Julie, you're not dense! Yes, the actual opening line from your novel :) Best of luck!

Stina, we're so excited, too! You've got the same shot as the next writer!

What a wonderful idea! I'm so excited... and nervous :)

Thanks for the contest. I'm not sure I get what happens with lines 2-5 if you post the first one. Sorry.