by Deren Hansen
One of the secret fears that haunt us would-be scribblers in the wee hours of the morning, when sleep is scarce and we have no choice but to peer into the existential abyss, is the question, "Is anything going to come of my writing, or am I simply wasting my time?"
The good news is that this fear is natural and common to our species. In fact, it's necessary: we'd never bother to revise and improve if we didn't have the slightest doubt about the perfection of our writing.
The bad news is that sometimes the answer to that fearful question is, "Yes."
As Chuck Wendig explains in a PG-13 post about
six signs that it's time to give up writing:
"Writing is a career that offers a tireless parade of moments emblazoned with self-doubt and uncertainty where you’re forced to ever reevaluate who you are and why you do this. You’ll often have to hold up your dream and examine it in the harsh light of day just to see how substantial it really is."
So how do you know if you'd be better off doing something else?
Chuck offers the following six signs:
- You’d Much Rather Talk About Writing Than Do Actual Writing
- You Spent Your Time Doing Everything But Putting Words On Paper
- Your Production Levels Are ... *Lone Coyote Howling*
- That Teetering Tower Of Rejections Threatens To Crush You And Your Cats
- You Got The Wrong Idea About Writing
- Writing Is An Endless Sisyphean Misery
(The "Wrong Idea About Writing," by the way, includes things like you love books, you want to work from home, you want to be rich and/or famous. "Writing," Chuck succinctly explains, "is about writing. It's about telling stories. That's why you do it.")
My aim in highlighting Wendig's signs isn't to depress you, but to make the point that until you're under contract you have no obligation to write. Specifically, you have no obligation to write novel length manuscripts and attempt to sell them to traditional publishers.
We live in a time when there's almost no limit on ways in which you can express yourself. From blogs to videos (with a detour through flash mobs somewhere in the middle), the opportunities to shout your barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world are multitudinous. (We'll ignore, for a moment, the fact that a multitude is simultaneously yawping.) Perhaps there are other media that are a better fit for your particular genius.
And if you return from the abyss with your dream intact, then it's a substantial dream that's worth pursuing.
By Mark Peters
It’s easy to find articles about words people hate. Just google for a nanominute and you’ll find rants against moist, like, whom, irregardless, retarded, synergy, and hordes of other offending lexical items. Word-hating is rampant.
So if that’s the kind of thing that yanks your lexical crank, look elsewhere: this column is all about word love, word lust, word like, word kissy-face, and word making-sweet-love-down-by-the-fire, as South Park’s Chef would put it.
These words not only float my boat; they rock my socks and warm my cocoa. I love these words, and this is my attempt to figure out why. If such analysis ruins the love, as so often happens in life, big whup. There are plenty of other words in the sea.
wazoo
We’ll never know why intelligent young citizens become proctologists (or how they break the news to Ma and Pa back on the farm) but we do know that words for the butticular region tend to be vivid and fun. Wazoo is my favorite. The OED traces it back to a friendly suggestion made in 1961: “Run it up yer ol’ wazoo!” I couldn’t agree more with a 1975 example: “Dating is a real pain in the wazoo.”
So what’s so great about wazoo? Studies show you can’t say it and be in a bad mood. Try it and see: wazoo wazoo wazoo wazoo wazoo. It’s funny and silly and a blast to say. Surely, it’s a better world with wazoo in it.
Bonus wazoo words: I am also a staunch admirer of gazoomba, bippy, badonkadonk, bottom, tush, fanny, fourth point of contact, and tuchus.
abyss
My mother always warned me to avoid two things: packs of wild dogs and the abyss. Still, I can’t stop reveling in this word. Part of the appeal is its meaning. You have to love a definition this ultra-hellish: “The great deep, the primal chaos; the bowels of the earth, the supposed cavity of the lower world; the infernal pit.” The OED’s secondary meaning is nearly as cool: “A bottomless gulf; any unfathomable or apparently unfathomable cavity or void space; a profound gulf, chasm, or void extending beneath.”
Also, I love looking into the abyss—except when I make the void jealous. The void is very insecure, you know.
buttmunch
When it comes to a perfect marriage of humor and stupidity, you can’t get any better than Beavis and Butthead, and I have yet to greet the day when I get tired of hearing their litany of immature, silly insults, such as dumbass, bunghole, peckerwood, dillweed, dillhole, and butt dumpling.
For me, the dumbass laureate of these words is buttmunch, so I was pleased to learn its origin in the DVD extra “Taint of Greatness: The Journey of Beavis and Butt-head, Part 1.” As B&B creator Mike Judge tells the tale, “Standards at MTV said no to assmunch. So I said, how about buttmunch? So we started saying buttmunch so many times, and then I just inadvertently said assmunch once. And they just heard buttmunch so many times that assmunch didn’t sound like anything new, so then assmunch slipped past ‘em. And that’s the story of assmunch and buttmunch.”
higgledy-piggledy
My marginally reliable memory told me I first saw this magnificent word in a Bloom County cartoon. Lucky for me and the
Name: Michael Dahl
Occupation/role at Stone Arch Books: Editorial Director and Acquisitions. I oversee all the editorial operations at Stone Arch, including list planning, story development, and working closely with the editors. I also handle submissions from new authors, acquire manuscripts, and manage freelancers. I’m also the author of the Library of Doom series.
Years at Stone Arch Books: I joined Stone Arch a few months after it began, in 2005.
Education: I went to school at Augsburg College and the University of Minnesota, graduating with a BA in English Literature and Theater.
What's your favorite SAB book?
There are so many! I guess my favorite graphic novel (so far) is Journey to the Center of the Earth. I’ve loved Jules Verne since I was in 4th grade. The art for this book is fantastic; the sea monsters are truly awe-inspiring. My favorite high-interest novel is Spies, a David Mortimore Baxter book. David is such a charming, likable, and real kid, and this particular story is funny and serious and smart all at the same time.
What was your favorite book when you were a kid?
I read constantly as a kid. I even read the dictionary – for fun. Yes, I was that nerdy kid in class who knew the difference between entomology and etymology. Bugs and words, two of my favorite subjects at the time. I was also a big fan of Edgar Rice Burroughs, J.R.R. Tolkien, and Pilgrim's Progress. But the book that made the biggest impact on me when I was in 5th grade, and beyond, was Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None. She had me spellbound until the very last page. She was a genius.
What were you like as an elementary/middle-school student?
I was the bookworm. More like the book fanatic. Whenever I did a book report, I wrote it in the style of the book’s author. My teachers told me that I didn’t need to “embellish.” I really went overboard when I gave a presentation to the class on a book about ancient Egypt and asked for volunteers to be mummies.
What's your favorite thing to do in your free time?
Besides reading, you mean, right? Visiting graveyards and haunted houses. It’s an activity that combines history, biography, geography, the unexplained, and heaps of fresh air.
Tell us a memorable Stone Arch Books moment from the past year.
I was fortunate enough to speak at the EncycloMedia conference in Oklahoma City this past fall. I gave a presentation on graphic novels and how teachers can use them to get kids excited about reading and increase their comprehension skills. I was amazed when I walked into my room several minutes before the talk and found it was standing room only. It was a great audience. And afterwards, dozens of teachers and librarians told me that they had never considered adding graphic novels to their collections until they had attended that workshop. It was gratifying to be able to show people what an incredible new art form (and teaching tool) graphic novels have become.
What’s the best part of your job?
Working with a team of talented, creative people. I love brainstorming, collaborating with smart, enthusiastic editors, designers, authors, and illustrators, and creating something that we couldn’t do separately as individuals.
What’s the hardest part of your job?
Working with a team of talented, creative people.
This is the first in a multi-part series, which will spotlight the members of the Stone Arch Books staff. Drawing of Michael Dahl by Brann Garvey.
Good thoughts. Since I don't seem to have any of those problems, and because my publisher is waiting for me to give them something awesome, I guess I'll just keep writing...