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By: Tonto Fielding,
on 5/9/2011
Blog:
Hillbilly Vampire
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Theodore Ramsey Kneebone, the worlds leading forensic anthropologist, upon a cursory inspection of the remains of the burial of an old man found with three heads placed on his chest, discovered in the jungle of New Guinea, declared his expert opinion. “Here we have what might appear to be an ancient find with considerable implications to the advancement of archeology. Contrary to what my colleagues may believe, the truth is that this site contains the remains of a shipwrecked Swede prone to saccadic eye movements, who was often considered to be whimsical or quirky, smoked discarded cigarette butts off the street, was opinionated and outspoken concerning past Miss Sweden contestants, had a mischievous sense of humor, and a predilection to cannibalism.”
