If it's worth having, it's worth the wait.
Oh, my lovelies. This Princess has gained much after migrating south a decade and a half ago. I have developed a great love for country roads and mountain views. Listened to amazing stories and sermons. Lived in many places. Had mission trips and grand adventures. Written novels and painted murals. Taught youth and made friends wherever I journeyed.
But my toughest and most beloved task was raising and educating my five oldest children.
I finished homeschooling three years ago. I thought I would love the day hubby and I were alone, but empty nest caused a deep depression. The reality of it tortured me. I love teaching kids hands-on, through the arts. I ached inside to minister again. I almost forgot my calling. Not just to write good stories and create art.
But my purpose.
The vision God gave me a long time ago.
Ah, yes, my school...
I continued to pray.
To take classes.
And Pray.
Fast.
And bang my head against the wall
wondering if the voice I heard was imaginary
and I needed to just hide in a corner.
And write a sonnet.
Or something.
I quit on the idea, but God, in His wonderful timing brought me a miracle over a thousand square feet in size on an acre of land. The owner offered it at a modest price. I will own it. Once we raise the money to put in a well and septic we will open the doors to my castle-shaped school.
Students will focus on the arts while finishing their high school diplomas.
I will still build towers on either side for our gallery.
We will plant a community garden.
I will drop the ceilings and build two partial lofts.
One for a prayer loft.
The other for sleeping space when needed.
In between will be barn beams where I will hang twinkling icicle lights and banners and buttons and baubles and whatnot.
There's room for my two-story upcycled Jesus (jungle gym) statue.
I have my safe place for kids to create. A haven for the troubled wanderers and creatives. Our little piece of heaven on earth. My tiny Kingdom where I will teach my royal subjects to be Kingdom dwellers, and I will lead them to the King.
It doesn't look like much yet, my darlings. It will be the most eclectic and energetic Holy Ghost acre in this county.
At long last, when I least expected, my lifelong dream is fulfilled. Praise the Almighty God. For He is good.
Until later, my darlings. Be royalty always.
Princess Jae
As much as I dislike entering blog posts from a phone, I don't regret taking a summer break from internet. Her Majesty and I have shared many new adventures over the last few weeks, including treasure hunting at the beach and the river.
Today she took an early nap. This gave me time to do some editing. As she later woke (always when I'm at a crucial scene), I scrambled for activity. Aha! The art kit... She loves watercolor as much as Mommy.
I noticed right away she was struggling with the tiny brush. I had an idea. I found a colorful watercolor brush from my own collection. She's old enough now to occasionally share Mommy's tools.
We must allow our children to express themselves. And I must trust my child's artistic instincts. The more room we give a child to grow, the more they will desire to learn and accomplish.
Selah.
It's one o'clock in the morning, and I woke (I mean wide awake) up and immediately began to think about all the ludicrous circumstances and people in my life. I don't normally go around name calling. But there are just some, you know the ones.
Yesterday somebody I am (for lack of a better word) over decided to assert themselves. For once, in my hormonal state (which, by the way, is no excuse) I went off. I posted on facebook with a mile long status, letting people who pretend to be parents have it.
Within eight minutes, I deleted the post.
Why did I delete it? I have a plethora of reasons, my lovelies. Beginning with the fact that where your heart is, there also is your big mouth. My heart was not in the right place. I want to do everything I do in excellence, and going off the way I did only proves that I am every ugly word the other party has conjured over a bonefire of me. Quite frankly, I removed it because- I am still a Princess and I shouldn't have gone there.
I've been in a season of life where my heart wants to forgive and FORGET the immorality of others. To truly release them of all sin against me. A place where I walk away and pray instead of shooting off the snarky mouth I've won many contests and battles for. A bright, sunshiny area filled with unicorns and rainbows? No. More like a valley of duct tape crosses that rip excess lip hair when removed.
Don't get me wrong. Plenty of people have stepped into the arena. They've given me ample reason and opportunity to throw flaming darts (arrows?). In most cases, I would be humanly justified to jump them in a public forum such as facebook. Or Walmart. Yes, definitely Walmart. You notice, though, the key word is humanly.
I didn't say spiritually. Spiritually I would do well to just turn the other cheek (again) & hit my knees and pray for that person. And although I deleted the post eight minutes later, spiritually I failed.
For days, I have dreamed of going to Ireland. I have tossed ideas to and fro in my mind. How would we manage to backpack across the northern hills with a two year old in tow and still (quietly) see all that nature has to offer? I've gone over preparations and itinerary repeatedly. I calculated how many copies of my new book (it will be available about three weeks before Christmas) I would have to sell in order to afford a three week hiking getaway.
I've thought about how Christmas will be tough in a brand new tiny house. We could easily make plans to be somewhere different. Just hubby and me, our kids, and grands. I've planned the few meaningful items I long to purchase for them. I've even considered holiday meals and cookie baking.
And then my thoughts move on to the ones who always insist upon ruining every holiday celebration. Not anymore.
The Lord has afforded me a do-over on top of this glorious mountain. He has shown me new areas of ministry and avenues to start my own Indie publishing imprint. I am two semesters away from my degree. I have studied (researched, dug, invested) and proven myself worthy. Now that I am geographically less than three thousand feet away from what could possibly be my dream come true- am I going to do anything less than excellence? NO.
If you can't run with the footmen, soldier, what will you do when the horsemen come?
I will no longer chase empty battles to the fighting plains. They tire one out and leave them with little strength to fight for the things that really matter.We must go after our dreams/callings with our whole hearts and stop falling for the simpleminded tactics of the enemy, Satan. Draw our own lines in the sand. Place our weapons of warfare in the Father's lap.
In a nutshell, if I love then I must show that love. Sometimes showing that love means to close the door to old things and people. And to close that large opening in the front of my face. To openly react to the same old actions is not showing love (or excellence) at all. In order, sometimes, for our lives to change, our hearts must also change.
There's room for my two-story upcycled Jesus (jungle gym) statue. 
