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Thirteen “B” Words that Describe my Life

Scrolling through my life, one letter at a time.

By the way, this makes my 69th TT.

1. Boring - I’m not a thrill seeker. The most excitement I have all week is renting a new movie. I don’t like to spend a lot of money so I’ve conditioned myself to be satisfied with doing free stuff- like reading, riding my bike or surfing the web (which isn’t necessarily free, but you get the idea). Though I’m not exactly boring to hang out with, I’m not someone who will keep you awake, either.

2. Blessed - I have an awesome family. Not a perfect family, but an awesome family. Though my oldest son is hormonal, moody and sullen, I still catch glimpses of his true personality and that usually holds me over until the next bout of crappy behavior. My youngest is a sweet, thoughtful, goofy, small kid who is constantly surprising me. My husband is a kind, thoughtful man who is okay with me staying home and making virtually no money (I’m working on that, honey!)

3. Bitchy - I’m a fairly nice person (emphasis on fairly), but I do indeed have hours moments when I’m, um, a tad on the snarky side. This usually occurs a week before that time of month and I have learned to take Pamprin when those moments rear their ugly heads.

4. Bubbly - Though I am boring and can be bitchy, I can also be bubbly when the occasion calls for such behavior. But it’s a fun, carefree bubbly, not the kind of bubbly some women get so that you feel like poking them with a needle just to allow all that excess happiness out.

5. Bloated - This is an ongoing condition with me. I have digestive problems (my mother thinks it’s gall bladder related, but we won’t go there until it gets REALLY bad) so I constantly feel bloated and puffy. As a result, I rarely feel sexy.

6. Believable - I’m an excellent liar. In fact, if this was an admirable trait, I’d put it on my resume. I can make anybody believe anything - with a straight face and sincere eyes. Seriously. Did I tell you about the time I participated in a Missouri beauty pageant? No? Some other time then.

7. Baloney - Most of the stuff you read on this blog? Baloney. I’m not exactly lying (though I bet you’re wondering now), but I rarely tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help me God. Oh, and I hate baloney - both literal and figurative. The actual baloney meat makes me feel bloated (see? Always bloated), but the figurative baloney I get from people drives me insane. If you’re going to lie, then lie WELL, for pete sakes.

8. Berate - I berate my children people all the time. Though I pride myself on being an optimistic person, I simply can’t stomach wishy-washy, stupid people. Here’s a thought, think about what you want to say before opening your mouth. Please, do us all a favor. Seriously.

9. Beverage - I absolutely, positively MUST have coffee every day - sometimes twice a day. There’s really no justifying this weakness nor trying to explain why; I simply must make it so.

10. Business - For the past two years, I’ve designed and maintained websites for six area schools, three restaurants, one financial company and have narrated classes for an online school in New York. I’m currently working on offering blog templates (sometime in the next decade) and submitting some of my writing. That’s what I do - that’s what I am.

11. Baggage - I don’t have a lot of emotional baggage. True, I’ve had some pretty shocking things happen to me in the past, but I’ve been pretty successful at leaving my baggage on the carousel and dodging the occasional phone call to come pick it up. Life is too short to dwell on past mistakes - move on.

12. Bullet - I wear bulletproof vests. I bet you didn’t know that about me, did you. Even if you looked closely (and this is assuming I’d allow you to get close enough to try), you wouldn’t see it. I’ve bulletproofed my heart and there is simply no way anything, or anybody, can puncture it. Okay, that’s not entirely true - there are ways, but they aren’t obvious so I’m not worried about anyone trying. How’s that for vague?

13. Blogger - I’ve become a full-time blogger. At least, I feel like a full-time blogger. I spend an unhealthy amount of time online and I’m not ashamed to admit it (okay, maybe I’m a tad ashamed). I adore blogging and I adore quite a few bloggers. I feel like I’m part of a community and even though I’ll most likely never, ever meet 98% of the people I’ve “talked” to online, I consider them friends. Blogging is better than Prozac - not that I’ve ever tried Prozac. *cough*

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Thirteen Things about Karen

First published January 5, 2006

1. I’m a recovering chocoholic.

2. I’m addicted to my computer.

3. I can’t go a block without getting carsick (as a passenger).

4. I love children - especially mine.

5. I love dogs - if they belong to someone else.

6. I have no patience for stupid questions. (How do you spell I.Q.?)

7. I like to make people laugh.

8. I… uh…*looks around, lowers her voice* chair dance to techno music.

9. My kids think I’m strict (they’re right).

10. My husband calls me “Karn.”

11. I fidget when I get nervous.

12. I will go bald if I don’t stop plucking gray hairs.

13. I’m a VERY good liar. (Not necessarily a good thing. ).

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Thirteen Stranger Than Fiction Truths Haven’t had time to catch up on the (strange) news? No worries, I’m here to help.

This makes my 67th TT!

1. Bride’s Joke Breaks Off Austrian Wedding
VIENNA, Austria (AP) — Wedding jokes aren’t always funny. When a bride in Austria jokingly answered “no” instead of “yes” when asked if she wanted to marry her husband-to-be, the official performing the civil wedding promptly broke off the ceremony….

2. Calf With Two Faces Born at Va. Farm
RURAL RETREAT, Va. (AP) — One of the newest arrivals at Kirk Heldreth’s dairy farm is drawing crowds. A calf with two faces was born Dec. 27 at Heldreth Dairy Farm, and word has spread in southwest Virginia as residents flock to his farm….

3. Dutch Gym to Introduce ‘Naked Sunday’
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) — Self-conscious about what you wear while working out? A Dutch gym plans to introduce “Naked Sunday” for people who like to huff and puff in the buff….

4. Fake Employer Took Women’s Urine Samples
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — A 36-year-old Omaha man accused of luring women to his home and taking urine samples when they thought they were applying for a job was found guilty Thursday of two counts of criminal impersonation….

5. Minn. Farmer Charged After Chasing Thief
CAMBRIDGE, Minn. (AP) — A farmer who chased down a thief and held him at gunpoint until authorities arrived now faces a more serious charge than the thief himself….

6. Truck Spills 40 Tons of Cow Intestines
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — About 40 tons of cow intestines and bones spilled onto a major highway after a truck driver became distracted by his digital music player and his semitrailer tipped over, officials said….

7. Mom Allegedly Leaves Kids in Car to Tan
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — Sheboygan police arrested a woman after she allegedly left her two children in a freezing car for 20 minutes while she went tanning….

8. Man Allegedly Fakes Kidnap to Hide Crash
SAN RAFAEL, California (AP) — A man who allegedly faked his own kidnapping to keep his wife from finding out he crashed her new car could face criminal charges, police said….

9. Connecticut Man Busted Twice for Drugs
SOUTHBURY, Conn. (AP) — A Danbury man’s plans to bail himself out after a drug bust went more than a bit awry over the weekend. State police said that a small safe that Nakia Davis, 32, had his aunt bring in to the Southbury barracks not only contained $5,000 in cash for bail, but also drug paraphernalia and 16 grams of cocaine, leading to more charges….

10. Mom Accused of Driving Son to Fight Boy
FOLSOM, Calif. (AP) — The mother of a 13-year-old boy was arrested for allegedly driving her son to a fight with another boy, then cheering him on as he struck his smaller opponent. Police say the mother shouted down another woman who tried to break up the fight across from Sutter Middle School on Monday. A student caught the scene on video….

11. Child Tips Off Cops to Drug-Dealing Mom
MILWAUKEE (AP) — A 28-year-old mother was arrested after her 6-year-old daughter tipped police off to her drug dealing ways….

12. 13-Year-Old Wins Rotten Sneaker Contest
MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Thirteen-year-old Katharine Tuck’s sneakers are equal opportunity offenders. They smell as bad as they look. Now, the Utah seventh grader is $2,500 richer because of it: On Tuesday, she out-ranked six other children to win the 32nd annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest, stinking up the joint with a pair of well-worn 1 1/2-year-old Nikes so noxious they had the judges wincing….

13. School Sued Over Girl’s Socks
NAPA, Calif. (AP) — A seventh-grader might end up in court for wearing Winnie the Pooh socks to school. Toni Kay Scott, 14, was sent to an in-school suspension program called Students With Attitude Problems last year for violating a dress code, according to a lawsuit against the Napa Valley Unified School District and Redwood Middle School

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Thirteen Diet Tips

From the Weight Watcher’s Guide

This is my 66th TT!!

1. Put coffee in your milk instead of milk in your coffee. Fill your coffee with skim milk. Drink it - except for the amount you would put in your coffee. Pour your coffee into the mug. You just got 25 percent of the vitamin D you need and 30 percent of the calcium you need for the day.

2. Love junk food? Eat it if you must, but follow it with two glasses of water. Yes, the water will actually flush away some - but not all - of the sodium. You’re stuck with the fat.

3. Love pizza? Order it with double tomato and light cheese. The tomato can help prevent prostate cancer. Less cheese = fewer calories and fat.

4. Do eat a healthy snack about 3pm every day. You’ll have more energy and eat less for dinner. Ideas: Yogurt and fruit, crackers and cheese, hard-boiled egg, an apple etc.

5. Love fruit? Always eat it with the skin on. (This doesn’t apply to oranges and bananas, you silly.)

6. To make sure you drink enough water every day, fill a half-gallon bottle in the morning. Take it to the office. Drink it before you go home.

7. Wash your meat. Yeah, you read that right. Washing it removes up to 50 percent of the fat and cholesterol. Here’s how you do it: After you brown ground beef, move it to a colander and rinse it with hot tap water.

8. Love salad? Instead of drowning it in dressing, keep the dressing on the side. Dip your fork in the dressing first and then in the salad. Eat. That really cuts down the fat!

9. Love seconds? Go ahead - but only the vegetables. Eat at least 3 servings of veggies every day. More is even better.

10. Spread out your fat intake throughout the day. The immediate cause of most heart attacks is your last fatty meal.

11. Always eat dessert! (Now that’s a diet tip.) Just make sure it’s a small amount. Sweets signal your brain that it’s time to stop eating.

12. Eat salmon once a week. It’s rich with omega-3 fatty acids, which help prevent heart attacks and ward off depression.

13. Love a bedtime snack? Make it a bowl of dry cereal. It will make you sleepy and give you a fiber boost.

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Thirteen Signs of a Well-Designed Website Banner designed by me!

Considering I’m in the middle of revamping my professional website, these things are uppermost on my mind right now.

1. Is it easy to find information and to get back to where you started?
You know, it’s funny. But speaking as a designer, I think this is the number one thing designers forget - making the information easy for users to find. After all, isn’t that the purpose of a website?

2. Do you like the navigation system?
This is one reason why I dislike Flash sites. Oh sure, they are fun to look at, but they’re not practical. By the time the navigation loads, you’ve lost interest (and this is assuming you even know WHERE the navigation is).

3. Are the pages accessible (no broken links)?
There is nothing more frustrating than wanting information only to be directed to a “page can not be found” error. Grr.

4. Are the pages and overall design consistent?
It’s important to make your site design consistent throughout the entire site. Why? Because if the designer changes design on some pages, users will think they have left the site and are now browsing elsewhere. Result? Lost customer.

5. Are there a contact page and site map and can they easily be found?
This ranks right up there with burying information - I can’t tell you how many websites I’ve visited with no contact info - anywhere. If you want people to interact/buy products, they need to know who to contact!

The site map is uber important as well. If a site is large, then site maps can help guide a user to the page he/she desires quickly and efficiently.

6. Is there enough relevant information on the site (eg. details about the company including location, what they do, the people, policies, etc.)?
Again, first offer the information (think like a user) and then make sure the user knows where to find it.

7. Are things aligned properly?
Tables are the backbone of a website. Without them, graphics and text will shoot all over a user’s monitor. Why? Because not everyone uses the same size monitor.

8. Is the text easy to read?
Fancy fonts and bright colors do not have a place on a website. They are hard to read and often times detract from what’s important - the text and/or the product. It’s also not a good idea to use a dark background with white text - it tends to sear images into the user’s brain and hurts the user’s eyes.

9. Do the pages load fast?
No one has time to sit around for ten minutes and wait for pages to load. Typically, if pages do not load in under 30 seconds, the user will move on. (I do that on blogs sometimes - a lot of grapics and flashy buttons load slowly and if I’m feeling impatient that day, I don’t bother sticking around to wait for everything to load).

10. Are the pages short, so that it’s not necessary to scroll horizontally, and there’s little or no vertical scrolling?
Absolutely, positively NO horizontal scrolling. You can only make a page so big, any bigger and users have to scroll. A HUGE no-no. And keep vertical scrolling to a minimum.

11. Do links open onto the same page?
I have to debate this one. It depends. If you’re referencing another website for various reasons, then I think making the page open into a new page is beneficial to the website owner. When the user is through reading the reference page, then most likely, he/she will want to come back to your site and resume his/her activities. Making a page open into a new page allows the user to easily go back to your site. However, it CAN get old having several windows open at the same time, so use sparingly.

12. Is there a portfolio you can view?
When considering purchasing services and/or goods from someone, it’s important to know others have trusted and hired that individual. It also helps the user see what sort of style that merchant has so the user can decide if that style suits him/her.

13. Question: What website design/layout impresses you the most? What is the worst website design/layout you’ve ever seen? (Please leave links! I would love to see examples!)

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The Photo Contest! - Theme: A Special Mom Moment - Prize: Busybodies item!