So since receiving 'the letter' we have just been getting on with life as best we can, trying not to worry and get on with things! 'but hay who are we kidding its natural to worry even if people say everything is going to be fine... even the people that have been through it... each experience is different'. all I can do is ask my Angel's to watch over my precious bundle till the surgery is done! and I believe they will, but as a mother you still worry about all silly little things.

Blake's weight has started to drop a little I think he could have a little lactose intolerance as it runs in both sides of the family, so I took him to the Doctors who referred me to see the a Doctor at the hospital, it all turned out OK he just thinks Blake is settling and his advise was to start weaning him on baby rice.... which we tried and he didn't seem to impressed bless him. Blake's four months now and he's taking interest in everything.. he loves all his toys and even turns himself over he's got a proper little boy personality! he definitely likes cars.. he has the most beautiful smile and an even more beautiful laugh he loves silly noises!

Blake's is a very cuddly little man and believe me me when I say he's a boob man.. he loves the ladies! haha... he really makes me laugh. He's started rocking himself when he sits on your knee it is so funny! everyday is getting closer to the surgery and we went to see Mr Cadier for another meeting this time though we got to look around the ward. Mr Cadier was pleased when he looked into Blake's mouth he said it was a narrow cleft so that meant an easier job for him. The ward was really homely and its got a lovely theme it has all just been done up, the staff were really friendly too, it made me feel bit more at ease knowing where everything is before Blake's admission on the 14th November.

At the moment Me, Tia and Blake are in Yorkshire spending time with friends and family it will be the last chance to see him with his Cleft the next time he will look just like everyone else, and I just wanted everyone to see him as to me I will miss him looking as he is, its very emotional as I know it will be better for him in the future but I love him the way he is! and he's going to look so different after surgery it will be like getting to know him again. The main thing that worries me is knowing he will be going under! and that I cant be in there holding his tiny hand. I am terrified and calm at the same time if that makes any sense? I have taken lots and lots of pictures of him so when he's older he can see the before and after. I think memories are precious and I never want to forget this very precious journey.

10 Days till Blake's Surgery.....