Another long gap without an update. I apologize. I do have a good reason, though; my husband and I had our first child in late March. I thought maybe maternity leave would give me time to write; I didn’t realize that both sleep dep and a newborn would combine forces to make that not happen. An unanticipated C-section (and the recovery that followed) didn’t help things, either. (I guess the pro is that I now have the firsthand experience in having surgery, as well as a baby…”research” complete on that front!) Finally, we also purchased and moved into our first home – and right after that, I went back to work to do a 4 week summer school stint to help make up for what I called the “maternity deficit.” (My job does not give me paid time off for maternity leave; after all the sick leave is cashed out, paychecks are just docked for all the days out. While it was pretty neat to get to “end” a school year at Spring Break, as the baby was due immediately after, the pocketbook was sad.)

Things have been quiet, then, on the writing front. However, in April I did start to reread the PIT books for the first time in aeons. (I think for PIT5 and PIT4…maybe even PIT3, it was the first time since they were published.) I’ve been pleased by how well they’ve held up so far. I get some weird memories, too – I remember writing a lot of that stuff, where I was in my life or whatnot. And yet there are swaths of prose and parts that I have no recollection at composing and am surprised by some of the developments with plot, etc. (Yes! You do forget after a while!) It’s also taken me since that time to get through the first 3 books. Again, free time is limited. I’d like to say that once I finish the rereading I’ll jump back into writing PIT6, but I have no idea if that will be the case. After summer school wraps (in two days), I will have 7 weeks left of summer break – which will also dovetail with my husband’s break as well. (He, too, is a high school English teacher; he’s been home caring for our son while I’ve been working this month.) We’re not doing any epic traveling in that time, but we will be hosting some houseguests and being at the beck and call of a baby, and that stuff takes priority.

I miss the characters, the world, and the act of writing itself. I just haven’t even attempted it in about a year with everything that’s happened. (A year ago I was wrapping up summer school; then had a 3.5 epic road trip; then started feeling “off” and found out I was pregnant; then the school year started up; etc.) I’m still trying to figure out how writing will fit into my life now. Everything really did kind of begin to grind to a halt 5 years ago, during the period where I lost my job, moved back home, met my husband, and started “living life” instead of living through my imagination. Escapism lost its appeal to me. (But, man, what a way to escape it was, and it was a form I embraced since the age of 9!)

I have fairly good intuition, and something tells me that writing and I aren’t quits forever. I need to be patient. My family certainly has been supportive of me, both with writing and my writer’s block. I suppose I simply need to feel inspired and need to sort of unplug from the day-to-day worries and demands to just let my imagination roam about. Perhaps part of that inspiration will happen with my son as he continues to grow and I witness childhood through his eyes.

In the meantime, the most writing I’ve been doing is blogging about once a week about my life. Which is better than nothing.

Summer Break is once more upon me...sort of. Normally, I'm filled with all sorts of delicious ideas on how to spend time now that school isn't taking up about 80% of my free time! However. I am almost certainly going to get a summer school gig that will take up the 4 weeks of June. Then, my husband and I are venturing on a 3.5 week road trip to the West Coast. So that leaves about 3 weeks after that before the clock resets and a new school year begins. So.

I do have some plans to try and obliterate the Writer's Block. One thing I want to do is actually sit down and reread all the PIT books. Shockingly, I rarely do this. Once I write something, it's like I lived it...I've "been there, done that." I find it incredibly hard to read something I've written once its published because, to me, it's done. There's nothing more I can do with it. I think I've read PITs 1 - 3 before post-publication...but I don't think I've done that with PIT4 and I KNOW I haven't done that with PIT5. So I'm hoping that "project" will help reignite my connection with the characters and the world of O'Hara, Ore.

I remain about 80% of the way through Draft 1 of PIT6. At this point, finishing it is the biggest goal I can hope for, let alone the plans for publication before, say, 2020. I cannot offer any guesstimations as to when that will happen.

Still here. Still hoping to write. We'll see what happens.

Hello -- I am still alive!

It's been a pretty ridiculous amount of time since I last updated. I apologize. Life has been crazy the last few months, and I'm once more in the thick of a school year. When that happens, any hope at writing tends to evaporate. I am trying to curtail that, however. For one thing, I'm the creative writing teacher at the high school where I work. I really should be setting a better example for the students as I walk them through the aspects of the craft. (Last semester, I had a huge class of 27; this semester is much more manageable with just 14 teens.) For another, I need writing for my own mental health. It's to a point now where I feel like I'm losing my touch...like a muscle that is no longer getting a workout and is starting to atrophy.

Other outside forces are conspiring to urge me as well. One of my current students decided to pick up my books at the school library and has pulled me aside a few times to ask me various questions (about PIT) and gaze at me in an different way that is NOT typical of most students who likely see me as "just an English teacher." (I do not make a secret of my "double life," but nor do I mention it a lot.) I need to continue these stories...for myself and for the others who invested time in reading them.

We'll see how the latest experiment and attempt goes. Maybe if I make it a 2014 resolution to finish a first draft, it can get done!

-K

Now that the busiest part of summer is past, I've been making a solid effort at getting back into writing. This basically means setting aside at least 1 hour/day for me and the laptop to go to town. I've had a setback or two with trying to wedge that in -- a couple of days, it was impossible to adhere to the structure -- but mostly this has been successful. In fact, on Day 2, I wrote almost two full pages in the hour, which was the most I put out in months!

PIT6 is actually 75% done…the first draft is, that is. This is a fact a lot of people don't know. (Writer's block only sunk its teeth into me in a big way about a year ago, and I am increasingly convinced a huge part of it had to do with the thyroid condition I was diagnosed with in early May. Particularly since a large portion of the block was due to numbing fatigue and an inability to focus.) If I can keep on making that hour a day a priority for the next month -- we've got about 4 weeks until the school year calls us back -- then it is possible I could have a first draft finally done by mid-August. (And then revisions would need to take place before it would be Beta-ready.)

It feels good to be wading back into this again, and I've really missed the time with Sam and Meg. Tomorrow I'm getting a jump on some preliminary research for PIT7 -- yes, I know when and where that story will go…most of the books are outlined in sketches of sorts for the entire series run -- and I should be getting more fun research for PIT6 squeezed in before school begins once more. I love hands-on research -- it's the best kind!

-K

O'Hara, Oregon does not exist in any capacity. Period. I came up with the name to the fictional hometown of Sam and Meg back when I was 13 or 14 and writing a story that involved a magical pen. (I had no idea such a device had been done and done and done before, incidentally.) I liked the alliteration of the name so I shamelessly stole it from myself when I started writing the first PIT a few years later. I saw it as a small town in Oregon and, years later, settled on a precise geographical location for it. (It's situated near Sublimity, Ore, which is nearish Salem.) Most of the geographical stuff was dictated due to the fact that I needed to reference locations and distances to other towns, like Portland.

I did not grow up in a small town. I grew up on the fringes of Beaverton, Oregon, which packs a population of around 90,000 people now I believe. To get super technical, I was actually growing up in Aloha, OR -- but no one knows where that is, and it was more or less unincorporated Beaverton for a number of years.

At the age of 33 --last year -- I found myself transplanted into a town that is so very O'Hara in nature, I feel like this is an ongoing research project. The town in question is not in Oregon, but the size of it is so delightfully O'Hara-ian. One school district encompasses the town. (My employer!) There are 6 elementary schools, one middle school, and two high schools that are, technically, on the opposite sides of town. When you leave your house and hang around in the town, you will and do run into the same people. (Oh, to go to the grocery store without running into any of my students….!) The town where I live -- just a stone's throw from Colorado Springs -- has a downtown district of a couple blocks (literally) and was established back in the 1800s thanks to the railroad. (Trains -- huge long trains -- still run routinely through.) Unlike O'Hara, it doesn't rain a ton -- snow is more prevelent in the winter months, and feet of it! -- and the elevation is quite high.

Small towns, I have also discovered, have some interesting things happening that you don't see so much in large suburbs. For example, the teenage population is incredibly restless and keen to get out of the town as much as possible. Cars are critical for the sanity. The area actually does have a fairly serious drug problem -- aflluent homes + bored teens = a lot of "better living through chemestry." Crime does happen, but not often the serious kind. (There was a murder several months ago of a very prominent local official, and the thing made national news. That was sort of bizarre, seeing the town where I live with that kind of press.) I haven't met a TON of people who have lived here for generations -- my town is mostly experiencing surges of growth now as a bedroom community for people in Colorado Springs and even Denver -- but there are definitely those who have lived here for a decade or two that remember dramas that went on over the years. (The building of the Wal Mart; the controversy when the school district built a second high school.)

I'm curious how much living here will affect my portrayals of O'Hara, since I now am up close and personal with small town-itis. I suppose we'll see.

On the cusp of summer vacation -- we administer our final exams to students next week and, after Memorial Day, are free until mid-August -- I can finally say with some confidence that THE END IS IN SIGHT with my long, unwanted break from writing. Because, for the most part, since about the time school started I've written little to nothing this year. For someone who has considered "writer" akin to her bloodline in terms of identity, this is a shock. Or, to put it another way, in the last 9 months I've written the least I have since I was 12 years old. Yep.

One aspect of cause was the crazy circus my life was from 2010-2012. Job loss due to a terrible economy, moving back in with Mom and Dad at the tender age of 31, falling in love, trying to search for a job, going back to school part-time to add another certification, etc. I mean, I had no consistent schedule, no routine, no place that was sacred to writing. So things fell apart over time.

Another cause was life since last summer. Moving 1300 miles. Starting a new job within two weeks of the move. (Teaching full-time is NOT for the lazy…believe me!) The adjustments that come with a new workplace, new state, a new category for the relationship. (We got engaged in November and will marry in little more than a month.)

A third cause, which only came to light in the last few weeks, was my health. I'm a generally healthy person; in spite of having no flu vaccine and working in close proxmity with teens, I only got sick once this school year -- a nasty cold that waited until Winter Break to attack. So when I was so exhausted these last few months, found it hard to think, found myself cold all the time, and other little aspects…I chalked it up to aging. Stress. Living at a high elevation of 7,100 feet. Living in a climate that is not as mild as the ones I previously resided in on the west coast. (Truly, the town where I live had quite a long winter…it snowed as late as May 1st!) It was only in a conversation with my mom several weeks ago, when she mentioned a family history with the women on my dad's side having problems with underactive thyroids, did I even think about going to the doctor. I requested a blood test, just to make sure everything was okay; what I found out, instead, was that things were NOT okay and I had hypothyroidism. (In laymens terms, my thyroid was underactive.) I was put on a daily thyroid medication to fix my levels and BOOM! Energy again! Clarity in thinking! No longer shivering all the time! Etc. Since the symptoms crept in gradually over time, particularly in the last year, it makes me wonder if that is connected to the writer's block. Because, truely, one reason I fell off the craft was a lack of energy and feeling like I couldn't think or focus. So that's been fixed.

Once I get my finals graded and the grades in and wrap the school year, I plan to turn a portion of my attention back to writing -- establishing a routine, an hour a day, where I go back with my characters. I figure by the time school resumes in mid-August I should have writing incorporated into some capacity once more.

I am also getting married in late June. While my last name will change in my "real life" and in my classroom, there will be no adjustment to it with my writing. My website's URL will remain the same. My e-mail address that I use for that will also remain the same. I always intended to preserve my maiden name as my pen name if it came to pass that I married. When PIT6 finally is published -- 2014? 2015? -- it will still be under Kristen Sheley.

-K

Yet another long-overdue update.

Writer's block continues to have some kind of hold on me. It's hard for me to sit down and write…I've fallen out of the habit and have to reestablish it. So progress is s-l-o-w. I'm hoping that I can start to slip it into my life again in bits and pieces…but here I am on a perfectly peaceful Sunday morning blogging instead of writing fiction!!

In a sort of weird attempt to jumpstart things, I've picked up one of my favorite authors from back in the day (Christopher Pike) and read a few new things he's done. Reading old favorites (or new releases from old favorites) does something to me…it reminds me of why I started writing in the first place and it almost reenergizes the muse. So we'll see if my experiment provides some fodder.

I'm also getting married this summer. Whoa! So clearly planning a wedding and negotiating the maze of all that is a definite sidetrack to the attention. I decided a long time ago, though, that my pen name would forever and always be Kristen Sheley, no matter what life changes would happen. So though I'll be changing my name in every other aspect after late June, I will always publish under Kristen Sheley and nothing will change in terms of my website's address, e-mail addresses, etc. (I actually like this; now I can have anonymity if I wish. A double life! Ooooo!)

-K

Oh my my my, it's been a while since I updated!

Since my last entry in July, I embarked on a 1350 mile move, away from the west coast which has been my home forever to a small town in Colorado. There, I settled down with a full-time teaching job in a high school, which has kept me quite busy. Among the classes I teach is creative writing, which is pretty neat.

Amid all the chaos -- which, admittedly, is settling down now into a consistent routine -- I've neglected my writing TERRIBLY! My significant other keeps encouraging me to write; we even struck up a deal, whereas he gets up before 9 A.M. on days he doesn't have to work and I write a paragraph. Both of us have been lousy at keeping up our ends of the bargain.

The urge to write is there; I'm feeling stuff shifting inside, which I know will be good for the writing thing. I have writ a bit, too; it's not like it's been a barren desert of nothingness. It's just extremely slow going and I have to almost sit there and meditate for a few minutes to get back there.

The urge to write is there. I still need it in my life. But I'm still negotiating as to how it will fit in with the "new normal" that is my life now.

I still have a goal of finishing PIT6. I'd like to have Draft 1 done before 2013. That may be farfetched. But if I can actually create and STICK TO a system of writing routinely, it can certainly happen.

Hopefully I'll have more progressive news to report next time I post!

Last month, in mid-June, life got interesting again when -- after two years of struggling to find another full-time teaching job -- I was finally offered a perfect job in a wonderful school for the 2012-13 school year! In Colorado. This was all good, for I had spent more than a year plotting and praying and planning for this to happen. Although I will soon be uprooted a distance of 1300 miles, and leave the west coast for the first time in, well, my whole life, I will be settling a stone's throw from my brother, his wife, and their adorable daughter. Additionally, my boyfriend is also coming along, as he is also an educator in the same subject area and age group as me. And, sadly, there are no jobs for educators in Oregon right now, especially for high school English language arts teachers!

Thus, life has kicked into high gear as of late. Fortunately, there were about 6 weeks to prepare for this epic shift. Moving plans have been going forward. A long distance housing search was made and a wonderful place has been secured. And through it all, I've continued to work my current job, which is 20 hours/week. I will actually be working up until 3 days before I leave for CO. So writing time has been hard to come by.

However, as much as I feel disconnected and sad and angst and anxious about this writer's block, there are signs of hope and life. On the plane to and from Colorado Springs last month, when I flew out for Father's Day weekend for an informal interview that led to the job, I was able to churn out a couple pages. Without Internet, cell phones (text messaging), and television, there was really nothing stopping me from getting stuff done. I was able to sink into the story, into the characters, without much of a problem. I was stressing out more about the anticipation of writing, but "letting go" let me get there.

And while this was about 3 weeks ago, I was able to get writing done today. I was feeling kind of spacy and disconnected most of the day, which is better than my brain going a million miles a minute in trying to make lists and worry about move-related things. So I was able to slip into things quite quickly and without much effort this afternoon and get a page made.

I still keep feeling this story might be gutted when it gets to a second incarnation. But if I can finish this first incarnation this calendar year, I'd be really happy!

I also find it interesting that the ability to write is still there -- it never left, though I've worried and fretted and feared it has a lot in the last couple years. My life has changed so much in so many ways in that time, though, that it is really unsurprising that my approach and my techniques to getting to "the zone" also will have to be modified. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to find the right method. It does seem that shutting myself down in terms of external distractions *cough* the Internet and Facebook *cough* do help to a great degree. So does feeling antisocial. :-)

My relationship with writing has also changed, which I've waxed on about in my personal blog. Namely, it used to be my escape hatch from reality, the method in which I coped with loneliness, isolation, and other negative aspects of life. Now, however, my life is much richer and I am not feeling a lot of that, so I have to approach the craft in a slightly different way and incorporate it into my life from another angle. (Or, as I said before, "What do you do when you're happy and satisfied with life? What do you write about then?" So many of my stories do have elements of unrequited love/affection to them because that was all I knew for so long. That is no longer true.)

Fingers still crossed that 2013 will mark the completion of PIT6.

-K

Well, the good news is that I'm starting to feel more creative and inspired and urge-y to write. This has resulted in having PIT dreams, which is pretty rare for me. As in a once-a-year kind of rarity. When I sit down and actually put pen to paper or finger to keyboard, I slip into things in the way I am used to and don't feel so much strain or anxiety.

The bad news is that I'm currently working two jobs M-F while also conducting an incredibly vigorous job search in another state. This results in feeling absolutely exhausted when it comes to the point of the day when I actually have time to write. So I'm still making glacial progress on PIT6. (I think I've been on the same scene and chapter for two months. At least.) I drop back to just one job after mid-June, when Job #2 (part-time and temporary) ends. And since Job #1 is also part-time, one imagines this will grant me more time and energy to channel into storytelling. Because, baby, I've missed it so!

So no ETA when it comes to PIT6 wrapping a first draft, let alone being published! 2013 is still possible, though.

-K

I recently read the following book by a favorite musician of mine: Drinking WIth Strangers by Butch Walker. I'm not someone with an interest or even an iota of talent in music -- at all. I think I'm tone deaf, I sing off key, etc. My maternal grandmother was a professional singer in the 1930 and 40's, did big bands, vaudeville, had demo records, the whole bit. (She was pushed into performing, though, so the second she married my grandfather she left that business and never ever looked back.) But that gene, that talent, neatly skipped over both my mom and myself.

But I really enjoyed Butch Walker's music, including songs he wrote or produced for others, and he seemed like an interesting and intellectual individual based on his Twitter feed and blog. So I checked the book out from the library and devoured it in a few days. The stories were great, and I could strongly relate to Walker's attitude with the music industry. For I feel that the publishing industry is the same way.

For years, I've felt that self-publishing -- which people also call "vanity publishing" -- has had a shitty rap.

True confession: PIT is self-published (SP). It always has been. I tell people that I write "print on demand" or use a "small independent publisher." These facts are technically true. But because SP has such a bad mainstream rap, I hesitate to use the term and call it like it is. I can almost see the thought process of people.

Before Knowing I'm SP: OMG, you're published! That's so awesome!

After Knowing I'm SP: Oh…you are a talentless hack who can only publish by paying a lot of money.

I'm generalizing, but I know that I had these same thoughts when I'd meet Real Authors…and then my opinion of them and their work would change 100% once I found out that they got their stories out in this way. It made them seem kind of…sad and talentless.

Why did I do it, then? After college, I did the whole "query letter" thing, only to get form letter after form letter. This went on for a year. Networking has never ever been my strong point; in fact, I pretty much suck at it. One day, while at a Barnes & Noble, I saw a flyer about the publisher (iUniverse) and checked it out. I had a little bit of money I could use to invest in publishing. I discussed it with friends and family. I decided to do it because I felt the one thing holding me back wasn't that I was a talentless hack. (I've written stories for fun since I was 9, and pretty much been told since then by scores of people -- including other writers -- that I have what it takes. Either everyone has lied to me or I do have genuine talent.) No, I felt that I would put my money where my mouth is; I thought it was good, I thought it would speak to others and entertain them, so I would invest my own money as a demonstration of my confidence.

To me, SP was no different than an artist funding his own gallery show. No different than a filmmaker charging up credit cards to make her independent movie. No different than a musician paying for studio time to cut his own CD. Those are all incredibly respected ways to spread and share talent and art; why is SP looked down upon?

How is publishing your own book so different from that?

The pros of SP are 100% creative control over your product. For me, a writer who is very hands-on, this was the ideal. I could choose what went in the book and was out. I helped determine the back text, the appearance. I paid -- out of my own pocket -- for the cover art, which I had commissioned by professional artists (who were also old friends…yay for networking!). Few people know that I didn't have to do that with my cover art; the publisher covers that part from artists in their company without my needing to spend a dime. But I didn't want my "vision" and my baby to be anything less than what I wanted. Not if I was investing my own money.

Apologies for quite the gap in posts. Life has been fairly busy over the last several months. A great deal of that blame can be laid down on my taking classes to earn a Library Media Specialist endorsement to my teaching credential. (Essentially being able to be a librarian in a school.) Although it's intended as a part-time program (so that teachers can do it while they are working full time), the last phase of it that I did for 10 weeks was essentially student teaching. From early October to…well, last week, I had little social life and less of a writing life. Life was all about lesson plans and work samples and portfolios and learning new skills.

Happily, I am now done with the program and next month can add a new endorsement to my teaching credential in hopes of getting a job. With the wrapping of a year of school and homework, I should now have more time to write.

PIT6 is moving again, albeit slowly. I'm trying to build the habit of writing 1 hour/day, which is challenging when it slipped by the wayside. Fortunately, for the story, things are no longer as stagnant as they once were. Even so, I keep sensing that PIT6 may be a shorter-than-usual story. Who knows, though? New goal is to have Draft 1 done by the summer. That gives me 6 months.

In related news: web designer Davian Aw decided to give my website a makeover and the results are awesome! All aspects of my website, including the PIT area, has been made over. (The content remains the same.) Check it out here. I hope to add some new content eventually. In the meantime, KristenSheley.com now looks more 21st century.

I hope for a PIT6 release in 2013 at this point. But we'll see what the future brings!

-K

In spite of the erattic moodiness of my Muse, I am still writing.

But there's just NO WAY PIT6 will be ready to come out by Fall 2012. Unless there's a miraculous occurance. This is for a few reasons.

1) The story is still in a first draft. Still not-quite-sixty pages in. Still not at the climax yet. Etc. I'm going to guess it will be another six month (MINIMUM) to finish Draft 1. Then you add in the time it takes to get the first round of Beta feedback. And then the revisions…. It really is a year-long process.

2) My monies, or lack thereof. At this point, I still pay out of pocket for PIT's publication, including the cost of hiring a freelancing cover artist. It is NOT cheap; I've known for years I'll never go "in the black" with the costs I've fronted (unless the books are picked up by a mainstream publisher or something). I've been okay with this being a rather expensive "hobby." But considering I'm still unemployed after a year -- as a high school teacher in Oregon, I'm one of many -- there's just no way I'd have the funds to front the publication.

But the good news? I'm writing more consistently right now. This week. If I have this year "off" again from working, then I intend to really push myself to get more writing done. But having a new paperback out by Fall 2012? Eh. You may have to wait until 2013.

-KS

Yes, I live!

I just wrapped up three intense week of classes in the vein of pursuing my library media specialist endorsement. Literally, I was in classes from 8:15 - 4 P.M. M - F. I had just enough down time to do homework, eat meals, and maybe spend a little time with my family or boyfriend before going to bed to do it all over again. It was pretty gruelling -- six grad credit hours -- but I survived with my grades intact. (I think.)

Progress on PIT6, natch, fell to a trickle. I'm still on the same #$%^& scene I've been writing for the last 2 months. Not a huge exaggeration there. But today I got some stuff done, and in fact I'm at a coffee shop now to get more stuff done. This week's been fairly cluttered with Errands That I Have To Do And Could Not For Three Weeks. (Doc appointments, vet appointments, oil change appointments.) But next week is wiiiide open with free time!

I also rediscovered my brain! Strange but true. A prolonged period of unemployment that I've had -- having last worked in late May 2010 -- has made me feel that my brain is sort of running at half the power as normal. Schooling always helps rev things up, and when that happens my creativity and muse also get revved up. This resulted in not one but three outlines for three very different stories. One is a second-to-last fanfic segment that, eventually, I will sit down and write. (It's all outlined; I just need some time. Probably when PIT6 is being Betaed, which is still months away.) One is a PIT story that will likely be PIT9, the seed of which was planted by my boyfriend during a discussion on a car ride where we were waxing over time travel and the PITtyverse. And the third was a 100% stand alone original story idea. (Not PIT related. Or time travel. GASP!)

So that was nice. Very very nice. I also organized my PIT series arc in terms of the stories. I think I'll ultimately have 16 books. Either 16 or 20. I know my stopping point, have known it for a while.

I also suspect more inspiration to come. My boyfriend and I have fallen in a habit of watching TV series on DVD that the other -- usually me -- has never seen. The first season of Glee. The only seasons of Firefly and Undeclared. The three seasons of Arrested Development. Etc. Next up in the pipeline is The Adventures of Brisco County Jr., a quirky western that aired on Fox in 1992. It was one of my favorite shows back in the day. I suspect the quirky western stuff will toggle my inspiration for PIT6, which takes place in about the same time period.

Inspiration leads to writing. And when I do sit down, I write. So that's good. I'm feeling less disconnected with this part of my life for the first time in months.

-K

Since the age of 13, I've written more or less every day, swept away by my imagination and possessing the ability to tune out the world at large in seconds.

Now, almost 20 years later, I find myself seized and at the mercy of something I've never encountered before: writer's block.

I always thought that writer's block was something that meant you couldn't write. Like, words wouldn't come out. It's not...quite like that for me, at least now. When I sit down and put the laptop before me and try to shut out distractions, I can write. (I wrote a page the other day.) I have a blueprint for my current project (PIT6) and I'm following it.

What is lacking, however, is that fabulous sense I once experienced where reality and fantasy swapped places. Where what was around me was less real than what was in my head. Additionally, I feel flat, uninspired, completely without any ideas. It's also hard to write; I mean, I do practically have to handcuff myself to a chair to do it.

The perpetrator for the deadly Writer's Block...I can't quite put my finger on it. Without delving too deep into my personal life, the last year has been crazy. In the past 12 months I lost my job (and have so far been unable to obtain a new one), moved back to my Oregon hometown and in with my parents, and fell in reciprocated love for the first time, which led to a relationship that is still flourishing. Taken separately, these are fairly earthshaking. Combined, it's a wonder I didn't have a nervous breakdown. (All right, the love part was a good thing!)

My relationship with writing, since I can remember, has always been one of Escape. When I'd be in school or at work, I'd write to get out of the boredom those places induced in me. When I was upset, I would turn to pen and paper to sooth. When I was lonely -- a fact I have been for most of my life -- I would spend time with my transparent non-existent characters over flesh and blood people.

Now, I'm grappling with a situation of not wanting to escape my life. When one has oodles of free time, as I do since I've been unable to land a teaching job and am on unemployment until at least January 2012, it's hard to really "escape." I mean, you're not forced to be somewhere you're not. When I'm happy -- as I have been tremendously being back with my family, old friends, and my boyfriend -- then I also feel less inclined to blur the lines of reality. I'm no longer lonely and flesh people have replaced the friends I once had only in my head.

I feel like I'm having to reestablish a relationship with writing.

I also don't know what I can do to shake this block. Part of me feels that once I'm working again, the ideas will begin to flow once more. I'm very much a person of routine, and when one's routine varies each day, it's hard to get into any kind of consistent pattern with anything. Also, the pressure on my writing (from outsiders, who are like, "Hey, now you can write full time and spend time selling your books!") to be some kind of breadwinner should also cease which, oddly, helps me write.

That all being said, PIT6 will likely not be out until 2013. I hope I can meet that deadline. I just don't know at this point. I'm eager to be rid of this writer's block; believe me when I say that writing has and does help me cope with life, and not being able to do it has made me feel emotionally constipated and anxious. The precious times I can break through and reach that writer's groove work better for me than any tea or medication.

I'll keep you posted on this journey of sorts when I can.

-K

In spite of a lack of posting on this blog (and updates on the website...a plan to rectify those soon, incidentally), life has moved on and the moving pen has continued to writ words. Below, some updates:

- PIT6, Ver 1.2 is consistently evolving. I've managed to "revise/tweak" the first three chapters so far and bounced between using the dates of 1879 and 1881 as my time travel dates. (I wound up going back to my original choice of 1881. Yeah, I'm totally decisive!) Relocating the past setting to Bodie, California, has also made things interesting. I've always been interested in that town since I first heard of it, and I visited it in July 2005. (I also learned that wow, altitude sickness is no fun. I was so excited when I got there that I ran across the town to get tickets for a tour. The town is over 8,000 feet in elevation, so I then almost fainted because my body hadn't yet adjusted to the thinner atmosphere.) Even back then, I had an idea at the back of my mind to use it in a future PIT story, so I collected and stockpiled information about it. I'm excited to use it in this story during part of it's heyday, but it's also made me compulsive with my research.

- I am almost done with the classes that have tremendously sidetracked me since early January. I'll get a break of a couple months before some summer ones begin (for only 3 weeks), and I'm eager to make up for lost time in writing the story.

- Tomorrow (Friday 4/15) I'm doing an author talk for a middle school in the Portland-area. I'm actually terrified -- talking about myself, about PIT, about the writing process may be "easy" but I suffer from stage fright. In many ways, talking about this subject matter (which is pretty much about me) is far more difficult than teaching lessons to classes of 40 high schoolers. Really, it is. This is why I haven't done very many things like this and why I rarely seek it out. If people approach me, I always say yes (unless there's some kind of scheduling conflict or whatever), but I'm incredibly, insanely lazy when it comes to promoting myself. This is why I need an agent!

- I do plan to update the website soon (in a few weeks) once things settle down. I also have some other ideas that deal with digital media that may come up soon. Stay tuned....

Think that's about it for now! Hopefully I'll update more frequently than once a month next time!

-K

It's been hard going in the writing world for me lately. I suppose what's been plaguing me mostly is what is commonly called "writer's block." For me, writer's block isn't an absence of ideas -- especially since I outline stories before I start writing them. No, for me writer's block is essentially an absence of passion, of feeling that oh-so-important sensation in my soul that compels me to write and fills me with the endorphins I get from a writing high.

Unfortunately, because most people (including me!) associate writer's block = no ideas, I tend to not notice when it strikes me. I've figured the last few months my ennui was simply due to the changes in my life. (For example, last fall I began my first relationship, and a part of me always feared that a successful romantic relationship would kill off any writing yen I had. Like being happy and fulfilled with that area of my life would terminate inspiration. In spite of the block occurring, I never really blamed it on that, though. My boyfriend is absolutely supportive of my craft and constantly encouraging me to write on my projects.)

The epiphany, when it came, happened in the last week, more of a trickle of sorts with fairly simplistic routes.

Simply put: I wasn't feeling the story.

When I conceived PIT6's plot back years ago, I had a particular setting in mind for it. (The California gold rush.) I built the whole story around this aspect. Then I realized that historically speaking, it wouldn't work. I required the use of the 1870s - 1880s for my time period; the gold rush in California was around 1850 and over by 1860.

So, I changed things a bit. I focused on cowboys and ranching of that time. Except...I never felt really interested in that, and I just felt bored by it.

Only on Saturday, when I was watching the History Channel talk about state formations in the west did it occur to me -- who said it had to happen in Sacramento during the Gold Rush? There were other states...other areas of CA. This, I realized, was the issue, and now that I realized I had a solution, my inspiration flooded back.

The last couple days I've done a flurry of research and, ironically, will be able to use my original idea and the state of California, along with a specific location in the state that has fascinated me and I've been able to visit. And I can use the late 1870's. Ideas are flooding me, making me excited, making me feel stupid for not seeing connections earlier.

What I need to do now is strengthen my outline and then go over the 40 pages I've already written -- yes, only 40 since September! -- and adjust things accordingly to go with the new setting and time and place and plot. I'm excited. Rejuved. I think this is just what I needed!

Stay tuned!

-K

Wow, I have been a neglectful writer! I apologize.

January and February hit me with a wallup. Part of this was due to the fact I began my part-time Library Media Specialist Endorsement classes, to add some hireability in different ways to my teaching credential in Oregon. Although it is just two classes which are essentially online, the pace of keeping up with the coursework around things like a social life and volunteering took some getting used to. I've recently fallen into a habit of writing around Monday in the afternoon and, if I am good and efficient, again later in the week when my homework is out of the way. The classes wrap up in April, so I imagine after that I'll have more writing time before picking up a couple summer courses in the program.

PIT6 has developed slowly. It's being a bit of a difficult birth. Part of that is due to inconsistent writing time. (See above.) When you pretty much forget some of the little details that you wrote a month ago, or are constructing a scene in fits and starts, it just...doesn't flow well. This is a first draft, though, and my first drafts are always "all over the map," as I call it. I'm not sure about the likelihood of having a first draft done by August, though. Really, that may not happen this time around.

Beyond that, no real writing developments to share. I'm going to be participating in a writing function in the area in another month, but when that gets closer, details will be shared.

-K

With the beginning of a New Year, I thought for one of my resolutions, I'd try to write a little every day. Such a thing used to come naturally to me. And it does, still...in the form of blogging or e-mails. When it comes to writing fiction every day, well...in the era of social networking and free Wi-Fi, it's harder than it used to be for me. Adding to it all is that my "office" at home is in a corner of my parents' living room, where I'm living currently. It offers 0 in the way of privacy and a lack of distraction.

So, anyway, yes. I did see a spike in progress...but then, this week, I began my couple classes on the road to earning a Library & Media Endorsement (which will allow me to expand my teaching skills beyond just secondary language arts with the ability to also be a school librarian, once I've completed the necessary classes and taken a test), so now I have homework and readings to tackle. (The classes are almost entirely online.)

In spite of distractions and suchlike, progress is being made. Just...slowly. Still possible to have the first draft done by the end of the summer (my goal) but only if I get things seriously moving along.

I also do need to promote PIT5 more. Yes.

-K

With the holiday insanity upon us, I've been a bad writer in promoting my new book. Seriously. I vow that this will be rectified after the New Year. Yes.

In the meantime, PIT6 is monopolizing more of my attention. People have been curious as to the title, and time period premise. I've known both for quite a while, but it's not my habit to mention other writing projects that far ahead of time. Also, it seems like everyone has their own opinion and no matter what, people will find fault with things like titles or ideas.

Anyway.

PIT6 = Partners in Time #6: It's All Relative. I came up with the title before PIT5 was even done, strangely enough. And I was smart enough to write it down so I wouldn't forget about it!

Time Period = California in 1881. Originally I was trying to hit up the 1860s to deal with the Gold Rush, but...it wasn't quite working for other plot requirements I had. (The CA gold rush peaked in the 1850s.)

And the epigraphs, as they are currently:

We all grow up with the weight of history on us. Our ancestors dwell in the attics of our brains as they do in the spiraling chains of knowledge hidden in every cell of our bodies. - Shirley Abbott


Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart. - Washington Irving


If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

In spite of this gappy space between posts, I have been making progress on PIT-related stuff.

I recieved my books (FINALLY) from the publisher, so I'm trying to get them out to all my Betas. I'm also trying to get some local stores to carry the titles, or at least PIT5. These are current, ongoing works in progress.

I've been working on PIT6. Not as much as I'd like to have been doing, but a portion of the last few weeks involved Thanksgiving and family from out of state being in town, so that definitely curtailed any progress. In fact, I've been on the same chapter for...like, a month. I'm trying to reestablish a habit of writing an hour or so every day instead of an hour or so every week. Once I build habits, they tend to stick, but you have to ride out that week or two first when you're trying to get assimilated to new things.

I'm also thinking of tweaking the (real) location I put PIT6 in, mostly because I find trying to use a real town's history is a bloody pain in the ass. Fictional towns are so much better, unless you intend to use a (well documented) historical city. I can't tell you how many hours I spent researching 1700's Kingston and 1850s Boston for brief scenes in other PIT stories.... So this will require some minor backtracking on my part to modify that, but nothing seriously major. As one who did major, serious, hardcore research on the fictional Hill Valley, California of 1885 -- from Back to the Future Part III -- I may wind up "using" some of the interior layouts of some of the buildings for my fictional town. (I doubt anyone would notice this, though.) I've actually got photos of the bare sets from the Western town they built in Sonora, CA (and which has since been destroyed by, ironically, a bolt of lightning sparking a fire) so that would be fabulous for descriptive purposes.

In the meantime, if you are looking for holiday gifts, might I suggest any and all of the books??? ;-)

-K

Well, it took a while, but I managed to get my (softcover) book sample on Friday for PIT5! This meant I could then OK the other copies to come to me that are part of my freebees. Ironically, I still do not have a copy of the book for myself; the softcover one went right to my parents (who, pretty much, probably deserve it considering they're, you know, my parents!). I haven't yet received my hardback copy yet, but I did see one in person last night and it looks awesome! If you like collecting books, I highly recommend shilling out the extra $$ for the hardback one! (And not just because they're mine!)

Still working on the press kit. I got rather sidetracked last week.

Still working on PIT6, too.

And, finally, if you read PIT5, please review it for Amazon or B&N if you can!! Thank you in advance!

-K

If you are into eBooks or Kindles, Amazon.com has PIT5 listed for that purpose here! Graphics (of the cover art) are still being invisible for the Amazon & B&N website listings for hardcover and softcover, but they [the books, I mean] are there for your ordering pleasure.

I'm starting to pull together my presskit, which I hope to have in functional order next week. Then I will beg pitch to bookstores to try and get a book release function going and some press or media. Whatever updates to share will be put here, as well as on the PIT Facebook page.

PIT6 is coming along in fits and starts...right on schedule, I suppose.

-KS

Just a quick update: PIT5 is now listed as being for sale on Barnes & Noble's website. They have it as both hardcover and softcover. (Still waiting for eBook!)

I find it sort of hilariously appropriate that the release date of the books is listed as October 26, 2010...25 years after Marty McFly went back in time. I think Sam Foster would totally approve!!

-K

Long time, no post. But I was waiting until I had something worthy of news to share. And now I do.

So, Partners in Time #5: A Change of Course is officially OUT and FOR SALE. I noticed that the publisher had it listed for softcover and hardcover today. It should be listed as an eBook shortly. It will also be on Amazon, B&N, etc, in the next couple weeks.

FINALLY. But for me, it won't seem really real until I actually get my copies in the mail. Or hear from people who got there's.

Real Life has been a bit of a distraction as of late, but I'm still working on PIT6 in dribs and drabs. I'll debut the title and the trio of epigraphs soon. I'm not trying to be coy, I know what they are, but I'm trying to focus on PIT5's developments still.

I also need to start getting on the ball about promoting the book in the greater Portland-metro area. Any developments in that area, you can find here on this blog.

-K