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I started studying subversive books way back in September with the plan to cover lack of parental supervision, nudity, and scariness. I thought scary would be easy. But then over the course of the last few weeks, my living room turned into a Booknado!
I considered
Lion vs. Rabbit(Alex Latimer) because bullying is scary and
Extra Yarn (Mac Barnett, Jon Klassen) because an archduke breaking into your house is scary.
Vampire Baby (Kelly Bennett, Paul Meisel) seemed like a sure thing, but it's just too darn cute.
I interviewed my 4yo over juice boxes.
"I give it one dot of scary."
Geesh. Even my kid has her own rating scale for scariness and tigers roaring apparently rate low.
(*Kashmira Sheth, Jeffrey Ebbeler)
I entered a state of I-don't-know-what's-scary paralysis!!
So I decided to focus on what scares me the most:
1. The Dark
2. Scary Creatures
3. Mortal Danger
4. Real Life
Making it dark is an immediate way to add a sense of fear to a picture book, so lets face that fear first!
"As soon as the room was dark, I heard him creeping toward me."
Nighttime rooms are dark, closets in nighttime rooms are even darker, and worries of what might lurk in the closet are the darkest. When a brave little boy confronts the nightmare in his closet, he has to think fast when he makes the monster cry. Tucking the nightmare in his own bed seems to be a good way to keep other nightmares away.
"Runaway piglets are lost in the gloom."
As a parent, imagining my piglets sneaking out to explore the moonl
ight really freaks me out. But the piglets don't seem to realize the danger they are in until clouds cover the moonlight and darkness surrounds them. Once owls hoot and foxes prowl the little piglets howl for mama.
""It's dark," he said. "I think I might be lost," he said.""
Sam Bungle heads into the woods to escape his too noisy family and enjoy some quiet, serene nature. Which is lovely until it gets dark. Then creep crawly things and glowing eyes and slithery things are all he can find in the deep dark woods. Luckily his too noisy family is out looking for him.
"Lazslo was afraid of the dark."
(The Dark, by Lemony Snicket, illustrated by Jon Klassen)
Lazslo hopes the dark won't come into his room. But he has to face the dark to get a critical weapon in dark-prevention: a lightbulb. In this book the dark is threatening and real and capable of speech. Good for kids with a fear of the dark, though it mostly just scared me and reminded me to always have a healthy stock of lightbulbs.
"That tiger looks ferocious, Felix thought."
Felix's walk through the dark goes from bad to worse to oh crap when he sees a wolf...who is scared off by a tiger...who is scared off by a crocodile! A helpful bunny shows Felix how to become scary to safely make it home.
I have to admit, these books always fill with relief - the dark isn't that scary! But once I close the books and kiss little foreheads and quietly close the door except for a crack, I still run up the dark steps as fast as I can and jump into bed to avoid the outstretched arms of the monsters under my bed.
Do you have other recommendations for books about the oh so scary DARK? Please let me know in the comments!
We are talking subversive books this month, and today I want to cover the oh-so-shameful topic of
nudity in picture books.
GASP! Since nudity has caused
books to be banned, it's appropriate to consider in a subversive light.
I'm going to start with the blatant books which use NAKED right in the title.
"They brought Wilbur to a giant portrait of Grand-pah, the oldest, greatest, and most naked naked mole rat ever."
Please use your best movie commercial voice for the following: "In a world where everyone is naked, one naked mole rat dares to wear clothes." Mo turns the tables on us. He makes us feel uncomfortable not by the nudity, but by the un-nudity. And in doing so he weaves a lovely tale of being yourself.
"and ONE naked baby goes back in the bath!"
This book has been a staple in our house for six years, because it made my kids (who are champion streakers) laugh and it made me feel like a normal mom. I understood what it was like to chase a wet streak down the hall only to have that same baby roll around in a muddy puddle within hours. Plus, it has counting to ten and back, exploring the outdoors, and just enjoying life on every page.
"The sneaky cat pounced on an unsuspecting group of squirrels and gave them all wedgies -- not an easy thing to do, because generally squirrels do not wear underpants"
This book could get attacked by a critique group for many reasons.
"The MC is named Mr. Fookwire- have you read that out loud?"
"There's a lot of violence."
"There's only adults and animals."
But I want to focus on the most disturbing part. I have been haunted by the image of squirrel wedgies on page 22. I've found myself asking, "Does the squirrel wedgie move the story line along?" I've also found myself asking, "Why can I not stop staring at these squirrel buttcheeks??" But it is relevant to the story, because a wedgie so perfectly establishes the pain of the squirrels and the character of the mean bully cat Muffins.
"It may help to have on pajamas."(
Stars, by Mary Lyn Ray and Marla Frazee)
Oh you didn't see this one coming! But this gorgeous, thought-provoking, heart-warming picture book holds a secret on page 25. Yes, there is one boy with his jammies not quite on. My kids can find a butt from a mile away, so this is obviously the best part of the book. Do you need a butt? No. Is a butt-giggle a nice bit of comic relief after thinking about days when you don't feel shiny like a star? Yes, it is. And when it comes to including something relatable, why not a tushie? We all have them.
"I forgot!"
David Shannon doesn’t wait so long - by page 9, poor David is headed for school in his tighty whities. More pictures of David's wrong-doings fill every page. Even I felt a little unsure reading this to my first child. Do I want her to see cat-tail-pulling and funny-face-at-the-wrong-time-making? And what is wrong with my spawn that she is laughing at every page? But if we didn't go on a naughty ride with David, we wouldn't so appreciate the "I'm Sorry" spread at the end.
Yes, all of these books have a little bit of nudity, but they all make it necessary to the story or the experience of the book. If you have other favorite books which fit here, please share them in the comments.
I have a picture book idea which is a tad subversive - y'know, a little cannibalism, inappropriate toad jokes, poop-eating, etc. I really want to write this book. I'm positive I can decapitate a cute bunny rabbit is a very classy way. (I'm sure I've made this sound worse than it is...or perhaps not wicked enough.)
But...
Approaching the critique group with such a wild beast of a manuscript is a challenge. I'm guilty of critiquing out others subversive attempts too.
"Your protagonist cannot eat the antagonist in a picture book." (It's happened)
"Why was this child alone?" (PBs do it all the time.)
"The deep dark woods seem a little scary for the 4-6 crowd." (Well... that's where the wild things are.)
So I'm becoming a student of the subversive. Today I want to look at the class of books where the parents are missing, but really aren't "missed." A great picture book rule is to get rid of the parents. But as critique partners who are parents, it is really hard to read manuscripts without thinking, where is the mother?
"A lot of good tricks. I will show them to you. Your mother will not mind at all if I do."
(The Cat in the Hat, by Dr. Seuss)
Critique: As a mother, I would certainly not want my children to think it was okay to let a strange apparently adult Cat and his two Things in the house while I'm out on a very important errand. But if I'm there, they miss this insane experience, and would never learn how well they can handle themselves in a difficult situation.
"It was midnight when the dancing and the howling began."
Critique: You can't have a small child running around climbing to the top of an apple tree at midnight! But one can't be scared of nighttime, and every child should get to experience it. And if I was there, he wouldn't have come up with such a wonderful solution to get the moon unstuck from the tree.
"A pancake here, a pancake there. One in the pan, and three in the air."(Hey, Pancakes!, By Tamson Weston and illustrated by Stephen Gammell.)
Critique: A hot stove? Rickety stool? Syrup everywhere? Danger, danger, danger! But...we've all made pancakes. We don't know how old big sister at the stove is, but we know if mom and dad had been awake, these siblings wouldn't have had the challenge of finding something to eat to overcome and show their parents how responsible they can be (cleaning up) while still being kids (hiding pancakes in the basement for later.)
"Then the sun came out and we swam together. We rode the waves as if they were horses."
Critique: So...there's a sea serpent in the bathroom and Mom hasn't noticed? What. Are there any rules in this house? You can just go the beach by yourself carrying a giant sea serpent? That's not how we roll in my house. But I've read this book 100 times, and I don't recall ever missing the parents. They don't really matter. This isn't their story; it's the story of a brief and extraordinary friendship.
Red marker in hand a lonely girl creates a boat, flies on a carpet, and saves a magical bird.
Critique: A little girls shouldn't be running around in a fantasy world, nearly falling off waterfalls, and battling knights. But, in this beautiful wordless PB, the parents sort of choose not to be in the story. They are cooking dinner and working, and there isn't enough time. I think that's very relatable. Then little children have a lot of responsibility for making their own fun, and that's an awesome responsibility to have.
What are some of your favorite PBs, new or old, which you would classify as "subversive?" I'm planning a post on "Slightly Scary" and "Nakeyness," but I'm sure there are other subversive genres I haven't considered yet.
I do really love summer, but WOW does it get busy and go fast!
I have had some great things happen in these last few weeks of summer:
1. Hugged a Dinger and a Honker at the same time.
2. Realized my irrational optimism is genetic when my dad lost his prescription glasses in a wave and my mom and I searched the ocean floor like crazy people. We found a grocery bag, a pair of underwear, 4 pairs of sunglasses, a stingray barb, and eventually... his glasses.
3. Had a red postman butterfly lay a tiny orange egg on my head at the butterfly museum. I'm pretty sure this was a message of love from my grandparents.
4. Have a pumpkin growing from last year's jack o'lantern seeds.
5. Received a magazine acceptance from
Stinkwaves for the January 2015 issue!
6. Took the bus into the city all by big girl self to attend the Children's Book Writing Intensive class at
Gotham Writers' Workshop.
7. Won a gorgeous print of Vesper Stamper's NJSCBWI
conference winning illustration which inspired my poem Allergic to Fun from her Cruel Summer Contest.
Why not celebrate Labor Day Weekend with an ode to the dangers of summer? Hope you have a great rest of summer.
Allergic to Fun
By Lauri Meyers
Annabelle hated the summer.
Maintaining her cool was a chore-
In a velveteen gown,
With a serious frown
Vacationing down at the shore.
Mom nagged her beneath the umbrella:
"Oh, Annabelle, go have some fun!"
"I better lie low,
'Cause wouldn't you know?
I break out in hives from the sun."
Her sister was sculpting a fortress.
She shoveled the sand from a ditch.
"Come help with this pail?"
"I'm afraid I must bail.
Your sandcastle's making me itch."
"A-Goo-ba-ba-Goo?" Her bro babbled.
He toddled and sprinkled her knees.
"Be careful li'l man
With that watering can-
The saltwater's making me sneeze!"
The heat was becoming excessive,
And sweat saturated her hair.
She looked to the sea.
How cool it must be...
No way was she going out there.
A triangle poked through the water.
"A shark would be brilliantly bleak."
She left her sweet shade,
Not even afraid,
And walked to the shore for a peek.
She watched the gray fin as it glided.
Excitement arose like a flame.
A dolphin then breeched,
And Annabelle screeched.
"Those beautiful things are so lame."
She stuck out her tongue at the dolphin
And wished it was something to dread.
She turned without pause,
Not looking, and was
Surprised by a wave on her head!
Her family came for assistance.
She shook and was feeling undone.
"She's having an attack!"
"Try rubbing her back!"
"She's deathly allergic to fun!"
Annabelle's skin was so clammy,
Her mother soon started to fret,
But was shocked to see
The girl grinning with glee:
"It feels really good to be wet!"
Annabelle ran to the ocean.
She'd learned about keeping her cool.
But after a dive,
She noticed a hive-
And sneezed out a salty Achoo!
I was tagged to the Writing Process Blog Hop by Telaina Muir who shared
her writing process last Monday. Thank you for tagging me, Telaina!
1. What am I working on right now?
Mainly I'm focused on maintaining my sanity until summer comes to an end and the kids go back to school. Oh, you mean what am I writing?
My three best picture book manuscripts are in the freezer right now after significant revisions in July.
I'm working on a nonfiction biography picture book, but I keep finding new research that is throwing off my story. Ugh, the
risks of research!
I have two PBs I want to try as Easy Readers. I have a feeling they may spark in that format, it's just a matter of trying something new.
I'm indulging my dark YA side with a story about a particularly wicked water witch. I was planning to submit this to
Spellbound for their Elementals theme, but I just read they are closing. Bummers.
My back log of critiques-received-not-yet-edited pieces needs to be addressed...but I have a few new ideas which are drawing my attention away. No sense fighting the muse, so I'm starting two new projects this month.
I'm going to a Gotham Writers Workshop Children's Books Intensive in two weeks using a Christmas gift certificate. Christmas in August!
2. How does my work differ from others in the genre?
I'm trying to create a few boy-friendly characters in a pink-saturated market. (Even though my mom keeps saying, "you should write something like Pinkalicious!" Yes, thank you, Mom.)
3. Why do I write what I do?
(a) I'm a concise writer from years of business writing, so the picture book format is comfortable.
(b) My little gremlins tend to inspire age-appropriate stories.
(c) I must be a tad lazy, because once I figured out I could have an amazing intellectual experience and my heart warmed in 500 words, it does seem unnecessary to write more than that.
(d) I suspect my brain is not quite wired correctly giving me a bizarre sense of humor which is best displayed in picture books.
4. How does my writing process work?
 |
I wouldn't mind being stuck
in a creme egg instead of
revisions.
(image by chidsey via freeimages) |
I make a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, both literally and figuratively. Most of my ideas come together like that: My kids do something ridiculous which provides a relatable situation. Someone says a funny thing which gives me a refrain or character. I have a deep adult thought which provides the emotional current. Then I mash them together with a poop joke. Delicious!
My process is 10% writing, 90% revising. It has occurred to me it would be much more efficient to write better first drafts, but ideas just don't come out that way. I spend a lot of time being stuck, which happens when you are dealing with so much jelly and poo
. When I'm stuck I:
(a) Storyboard on the back of a door
(b) Draw plot arcs with a rainbow of colors
(c) Write the action on index cards and move them around
(d) Highlight manuscripts in various ways- dialog of a character, passive verbs, each action to check for build, etc.
(e) Field trip to nature or other appropriate setting.
(f) Stick it in the freezer.
(g) Ship it off to my critique group to help.
(h) Read or reread a writing book until the problem becomes clear.
(h) Play with my kids so my muse can think without all the pressure.
At some point (around revision 14) the story starts to get polished.
I’m tagging Shar Mohr. We are both members of the
Yellow Brick Road Critique Group. Check out
Shar's Writing Process on August 18
th. Then hop over to another YBR member Joy Moore's site on August 25
th. Thank you both for hopping and for being such helpful critique partners.
I flew around time yesterday. The wild journey began with a radio station playing all the hits of my life - those key songs that spark a memory. Songs which are inextricably intertwined with a memory cause instant transportation to that moment any time the rhythm starts.
Many of my Song Warps are clearly YA memories, and I don't kiss and tell. But there are a few more appropriate ones:
Copacabana, by Barry Manilow. Year: 1978. Setting: My Grandpa's living room: imagine dark paneling, those little vintage glass bottles in assorted colors, large floral print couches, and a wooden parrot. My grandpa had hands the size of basketballs from years of working on the railroad, fighting in Normandy, and a long career in construction. But he always held my tiny hands gently when we danced to the Copacabana. *sidenote* It's funny to think we were actually listening to a Top 40 hit and not an oldie as I always thought of it- like me dancing with my girls to Roar.
The Warrior, by Scandal. Year: 1984. Setting: Barbie doll house in the basement. For this particular song, Barbie always dressed in her jean jacket, because it made her look tough. I don't recall exactly what Ken had done, but he had messed up real bad and Barbie needed to show him how she felt by belting out the Warrior and stomping around in ridiculously high heels.
 |
| (via wikipedia) |
All I Need, by Jack Wagner. Year: 1984.
Setting: Sitting cross-legged by the record player in my living room. This was my very first 45 record that was all mine and not shared with my stinky big sister. (if you are "age challenged," here's a helpful link to define
record.) It was of critical importance, because when I found out we were moving to a new town, I put this on repeat for HOURS. I probably was leaving behind some sort of third grade boyfriend, but mainly it was a good sorrowful song for crying to.
Grease Mega Mix. Year: 1997. Setting: College formal dance. My date (though we went as 'friends') and I did an electrifyingdance. I guess he was the one that I wanted, because I went ahead and married him. And we are still friendsJ
These songs strike such a specific emotional chord, I can harness the power in my writing by just plugging in a relevant song when I'm writing.
I know you each have awesome song warp songs, so hit me with a good song and memory in the comments. Consider it your writing inspiration for a day.
After I posted the conference recommended books,
Romellecommented she couldn't wait to hear about the rest of my experience. *winces* You see, my plan was to put the book list out there and then not have to actually share anything else about the conference. Without any big news (y'know, like an agent or a contract) I wasn't sure my conference experience was anything other than pretty standard:
- I learned a ton from excellent presentations,
- I met agents and editors which is a million times better than their online bios,
- I saw old writing friends and made new friends,
- I ate a lot of cheesecake.
Yep, pretty standard really. But I guess I can be brave and share my other experiences.
I had a manuscript critique with an editor. She gave me an excellent critique which was well worth the money. Then she asked about me (isn't that so nice when people do that?) which of course I wasn't prepared for. (Funny, I'm pretty close with myself, but it's always so hard to talk about me.) She also asked if I had an agent. Perhaps she was making polite conversation, but I heard "You should get an agent!" So that was nice. But the best part: an actual quote in her critique: "I think poop is funnier than poo." She gets me. She really gets me!
 |
(by Billy Frank Alexander
via freeimages.com) |
I pitched to an agent for the first time, which was not nearly as scary as I expected.
(It was Jill Corcoran, who is really kind of awesome. She should just put that in her bio.). After the pitch, she asked if I had the manuscript with me (I did!) She read the whole thing right there (it's a pb, so it only took 1 minute of the 4 allotted minutes.) And she offered a helpful suggestion to amp it up. So that was a pretty solid way to spend a few minutes.
Unfortunately, I spent the next minute picking up all the papers I dumped out of a folder while attempting to smoothly extract my manuscript. She didn't seem to mind. Oh and when I got home that night I realized I had worn edgy gold earrings and a dainty silver necklace all day. (NEVER dress before drinking coffee.)
And no one told me. (For future reference, if you see something, say something!) I like to think my hair was in front of my ears, or perhaps I just looked like one of those artsy creative types.
Anyhow, those foibles don't really matter - it's the writing first, right?
Hey how about you tell me embarrassing things which have happened to you at conferences to make me feel better? You're such a palJ
I have finally returned to my normal self after having my brain imploded with amazing information at the NJSCBWI Conference last weekend. I shared Picture Books on Monday. Here were the YA and MG recommendations I noted from agents and editors at the conference. (Fewer because I mostly hit PB-focused sessions)
YA
 |
I already ordered this one. I have to admit
I hadn't heard of it before. It is an art-focused
book, but was recommended for
for picture book writers, too! |
When Mr. Dog Bites, by Brian Conaghan
MG
Writing
Please let me know if you wrote down any other recommendations at the conference which I should add! Enjoy your summer reading.
I had the best weekend at the NJSCBWI Conference. My brain is so full, I can barely make sentences... but it only takes basic zombie skills to type up a list of the books I heard recommended by editors and agents. I'm sure many of you are looking for summer reads, so enjoy! (I'm actually looking for some brains to eat...isn't that a weird craving?)
Picture Books By Author/Illustrators
Extra Yarn, by Mac Barnett and illustrated by Jon Klassen (one of my FAVORITES)
 |
I came home with this beauty from
Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen |
The Dark, by Lemony Snicket and illustrated by Jon Klassen
Chicks Run Wild, by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen and illustrated by Ward Jenkins
Whoa! That was ever so slightly more work than I had imagined, and my fingers are aching. Gotta go get some brains in this zombie to refresh!
I'll post MG, YA, and writing book recommendations in the next post.
If you were at the conference, did you write down any other recommended books?
I'm in a frantic period right now - combination of school almost out, summer fun beginning with camping this weekend, and my NJ conference next weekend. For me this is a peak time, where I push myself on revisions, start thinking about summer submissions, and daydreaming about sharing book-love with an agent.
But with the excitement of a conference comes the post-conference-collapse-on-the-couch. And with the excitement of submissions often comes the dreaded-rejection-letter. So I needed to take a moment this morning to remind myself of the journey I'm on and embrace its peaks and valleys.
With the help of Sharpie, I present:
I had no idea when I wrote that first word what an exciting adventure writing would be! Yes the lows are totally turds-in-the-pool, but the highs make it worth the swim. (Not my best metaphor, but successfully explains the high rates of cholera among writers.)
Ahh, take a deep breath, focus on the long term, and write on!
My kids hosted an inspiration session yesterday for me which was much needed to break up the routine of prepping for the NJSCBWI conference in two weeks (squee!!) Sometimes my anal-nerdy-financial-analytic self takes over, and I make binders, research agents, prepare my journal, etc. These steps are important, but if I forget to feed my creative self before a conference, well then it's all for naught.
I was sitting in the living room, minding my business, when I realized I was on a tractor ride.
"You should buckle up," my 4yo said. "Can you do it by yourself?"
"Um, yep. Click. Click. Hmph. I can't get this last buckle." I had slept 9 hours the night before for the first time in months, so I put a little more into my role play than usual.
"I'll help you. Click.See? It was easy." 4yos have a way of letting you know you've been condescending in the past.
"Thank you. Where are we heading?"
"To see the hippos, of course." She opened her Ranger Rick magazine to show me. "They like water."
Tractors and African animals weren't connected in my mind, but why not.
 |
"How about a big hug?"
(by sveres via freeimages.com) |
"I think I'd like to hug a hippo. Unless he was yawning."
"If I had to kiss a shark, I'd kiss him on the cheek not on the lips," she said still using Ranger Rick as tour support.
After visiting three animals, I had to unbuckle and grab some paper.
"Remember when we saw these ca-coons in Mexico?" (she meant raccoons to refer to the coatis, but ain't she cute?)
"I have zebras on my farm."
"Slow down, sweetie. Mommy can't write down all these ideas that fast."
"Here comes a bump," she said and threw a pillow at me, which caused a chain reaction of spilling coffee and the ideas-in-marker bleeding across the page.
But it didn't matter. She had woken my creative brain.
And I learned a valuable lesson about drinking coffee on tractor rides through animal sanctuaries.
How do you keep your creative mind awake through all the not-so-creative tasks which publishing involves?
I have to admit I've been hoping to get the Sunshine Award because my 4-H nickname was Sunshine. Awww! I know. I'm adorable.
Imagine my happiness when my lovely friend
Leslie Zampetti nominated me! Leslie and I first "met" in the online critique group "
The Yellow Brick Road." We officially met in person at the NJ SCBWI Conference a couple years ago, with a classic "
Squeee! Oh my gosh! Is it really you!" *insert gigantic hug here* Her blog posts pack a double punch with great posts and the blog title "Rear in Gear" to kick you in the pants to sit down and write.
For this award you need to share 10 interesting things about yourself. Now, like Leslie, I find this grueling for everyone, on account of my terribly boring self. And even worse I've
shared things before, so I felt obliged to come up with new things. Ugh. I'd rather eat boogers.
1. I don't eat boogers. I may or may not have a kid who does, but I'm not saying because it's not nice to out your children publicly.
2. I once watched monkeys throw poop for 20 minutes. They were literally dumping right into their hands and tossing in one motion. Like a semi-automatic poop gun. My husband scuffed his shoes dragging me away.
3. For story research I've asked 63 strangers what dandelions smell like. This is harder to answer than you may think. I've gotten lemons, salt, candy, dirt, poop, and a lot of "I dunnos." If you know the answer, please comment!
4. The thing I dislike the most about aging is I've started getting dizzy swinging. What the hokie-pokie-turn-yourself-around is the deal with that? Sidenote: Mom, sorry for making fun of you for getting dizzy when I was little.
5. On the bright side of getting older, I'm only about 30 years away from being able to wear ridiculous hats every day. I should probably start collecting now.
6. I have blamed accidental toots on my children, spiders, and dirty sneakers. But that's not so unique...you know you do it too.
7. I like prime numbers. So I'm stopping at 7.
I'm nominating some newer writing friends who have brought SUNSHINE to me this year!
The challenge was to write a poem about animal relationships. Researching zebras & ostriches, sea anemones & hermit crabs, and other symbiotic relationships got my juices flowing. Upon finding the crocodile and plover bird's tooth-cleaning relationship, my head filled with bits of lines and rhymes.
 |
"Wait, wait. Let me get this straight.
So, you thought I would let a bird
just fly into my mouth, and
I wouldn't eat it? Dude.
Have you had chicken wings?
They are awesome!
Bwa, ha, ha, ha!"
(by Yan81 via sxc.hu) |
My draft needed another term for jaws/ mouth/ teeth of crocodiles to complete a rhyme...which led me to the internet...which led me to a crocodile specialist and his discussion called "The Myth of the Plover."
"This guy is a quack!" I yelled to no one in particular, clutching my almost finished poem.
Alas, further research confirmed there is no evidence of this partnership except for in a doctored photograph and an old story.
"Son-of-Crocodile-Dundee!" I yelled in a poor Australian accent.
So the plover and the crocodile weren't really friends, but darn it, I was invested in this relationship or at least in finishing the poem. And thus the ending was born.
Plover's Lunch
By Lauri Meyers
Please open up wide.
I'll flutter inside
To pick out all your scraps.
Forgotten to crunch,
The rest of your lunch
Still stuck in toothy gaps.
A bit of fresh fish
Is really delish
A perfect birdy treat.
A dentist like me
Is helpful you see
To keep incisors neat.
But wait just a sec.
I'll take a raincheck.
Your fishy grin seems cruel.
It's giving me pause-
To eat in your jaws
Would make me quite a fool!
So there you have it-- an important lesson learned on the risks of research!
Have you had any research mishaps?
I'm in the middle of
NaPiBoWriWee so there's no time to talk!!!
Actually I do have a little bit of time because I'm shocked to say National Picture Book Writing Week is getting a little bit easier. In this my third year of NaPi, I cooked for my family twice (so far) and cleaned the house yesterday! (usually we fall into a state of squalor during this week)
NaPiBoWriWee is a challenge to write 7 PBs in 7 days with
Paula Yoo and guest posts to inspire you. This year's theme is diversity in kidlit. Even if you can't participate in the challenge stop in and read some of the posts. If they don't grease your writing axle, I don't know what will.
5 Reasons NaPi is easier this year
I have notebooks of ideas from PiBoIdMo and my wanderings throughout the year.
I'm less chicken about research which I've learned even the most fictional picture books still require some digging.
I have a better handle on picture book structure. So these early drafts are like puzzles - get the frame done, sort the colors, and call it a good start.
I don't freak out when my mind goes in a MG direction. I enjoy writing MG and no one cares if a MG short story slips in there with my PB drafts.
Most importantly, I've accepted that I'm a really ugly first draft writer. Of course accepting this means accepting the following months (years) of editing.
Knowing how you write makes you feel a little more comfortable in your skin.
I better get back to draft 5!
I love, love, love
Susanna Hill's contests. But what do I love more than her writing contests? Her illustration contests.. because I don't even have to enter! Ahh, that's a relief. No revising my fingers to the bone to meet her itty bitty word limits and chocolate-induced constraints. Thankfully, I love revising. *wink, wink*
No, the best part is actually getting to see my story The Princess and the Stinky Cheese come to life at the hands of amazing artists. (And all the finalists' stories too - a total of 42 illustrators participated!)
I have learned so much watching this contest unfold. How critical it is to inspire illustration without dictating it. The importance of smart details. The amazing number of ways artists can demonstrate the stinkiness of cheese!
Each artist took a unique approach to the story. Each one found a detail to add to enhance the story and to make it their own. Thank you Susanna for hosting and to each of the artists who participated.
I thought it would be fun to see the story and all the different illustrations in one place. Hold on to your noses...
The Princess and the Stinky Cheese
By Lauri C Meyers
"If you don't find a princess to marry soon," the Queen said, "I'll be forced to give the crown to the dog."
"Mother, your ridiculous "true princess" tests are the problem," Prince Plumbottom whined. "Let's see. Merida didn't feel the grain of rice in her pillow."
"Snored like a bear."
"Fiona couldn't taste donkey snot in her soup."
"Gobbled it down like a dragon."
"Even if a princess passed your test," Prince Plumbottom said, "Princesses are so boring. I want to marry a daring lass!"
"Very well, son. We will look for a true princess who is also daring. I know just the right test."
"Here comes a girl now, and she has a branch in her hair!" he clapped his hands. "This young woman has had an adventure." The prince skipped over to the soaking wet maiden.
"Hello, I'm Prince Plumbottom."
"Hello, I'm Princess Peabody," she said. "I was tracking a rattlesnake, but I fell into the river and now I'm quite lost."
"A rattlesnake? How daring!" the prince squealed. "Won't you join us for lunch?"
Princess Peabody wiped her muddy face with a napkin. She was about to blow her nose, but stopped when she heard the Queen whisper "Stinky Cheese Test" to the prince. She had heard of queens like this.
"Cheese, dear?" the Queen asked.
"Oh, it's a lovely green," Princess Peabody said. "But it's not nearly stinky enough."
The prince beamed.
The Queen thumped on the table. "Cook! Bring the stinkier cheese!"
The cook held a handkerchief over her nose and presented the stinkier cheese.
"Yummy. It smells like an ogre's shoe," the princess said. "But my Kingdom has much stinkier cheese."
The Queen's face turned red. "Guards! Find the stinkiest cheese in the land!"
The knights returned with a metal trunk which smelled like a dragon's armpit.
"Open it!" the Queen commanded.
The knights closed their armor masks and reached with a sword to open the chest. The stench was so horrific, so terrible, so ... stinky that everyone fainted.
Everyone except Princess Peabody.
She fed the stinky cheese to the royal dog who didn't mind the smell at all. Then she blew her nose, finally clearing it of river mud.
The Queen came to and saw the empty cheese plate. "A true princess!"
Prince Plumbottom declared, "A daring princess!"
"Burp!" The dog agreed. And they all lived stinkily ever after.
**There are two more great illustrations by
Ellen Injerd and
Laura Miller which I will post too if I get their okay...but you can see them by clicking on the links!**
I had a lovely, uneventful, swimming and eating
vacation. The only very slight problem was my notebook. It was pretty enough with nice Mexican-ish stripes. And the paper felt satisfyingly sturdy and smooth. The only problem was the blankness of the pages.
My girls helped to remedy the situation. Filling that first blank with anything is always a relief.
This portrait of me (quite accurate, no?) really got me motivated.
Finally, the book - Wild Mind: Living the Writer's Life by Natalie Goldberg provided the trigger for my pen to move. At the end of Chapter 2 Natalie encourages writers to complete a timed writing session. To kick it off, write "I remember." Anytime your pen hesitates, start another "I remember" sentence. This was an effective way to trick me into writing just to write.
Now here's the kicker. Natalie suggests using "I don't remember" sentences every so often. When you're exploring a topic, this switch of perspective can highlight deeper insights than your basic memory.
For instance I started writing about how I used to collect cans and bottles around the pond next to my house and take them to the recycling center for 50 cents a pound. Which is a nice little reminiscence. But I don’t remember anyone telling me to do it. I don't remember what I spent the money on. And I don't remember ever getting in trouble for sometimes not emptying all of the black pond goo out of the bottles (which would have ever-so-slightly increased the weight.) There's incentive, stakes, and risk in the story which I might not of dug around for otherwise.
I'm only half way through the book, but so far it is an engaging read full of helpful "try this" exercises.
Now, enough vacation, time to get to work!
Oh dear, I'm going on vacation tomorrow, and I realize it already appears I have been on vacation! It's been almost two weeks since my last post, how does that happen so fast?
Well, like they say, time flies when you're having fun, and 2014 has been fun!
I had my first short story "Copernica" published in the January edition of Spaceports & Spidersilk. If you enjoy daring post dragon apocalypse teen angst, then this is for you! (
Smashwords or
Barnes & Noble)
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| (footprint by clblood via sxc.hu) |
I learned a lot during ReViMo (Revision Month) in January, and I'm still having a good time in ReViMo's Facebook group. Plus I won the Children's Book Academy's
Grammar Groove course with Miranda Paul. Her lessons have been very helpful far beyond grammar advice.
I won 3
rd place in Susanna Hill's
March Madnessstory (Yay! Thank you everyone!) and had a great time writing about Princess Peabody, too.
[Insert break here where children get strep throat and the main bathroom is being remodeled while picture book edits start to pile up.]
April is bringing the first
RhyPiBoMo, and holy cow is Angie Karcher putting on a poetry show. She has guest posts by poets and also creates an educational poetry lesson with each post.
Plus I completed my registration for the NJ SCBWI conference in June (which if you've registered for a conference before you know involves 26 1/2 pieces of paper, cross referencing of times and agents and workshops, and leaving time for kidlit socialization - dizzying!)
I think a brief vacation in the warm sun after a great start to the year and the ALL-WORK-AND-NO-FUN-MAKES-JACK-A-DULL-BOY kind of winter we had. I've decided to not bring any revisions (officially) with me, though I'm sure my relaxed brain will be gnawing on the stories anyhow. I will be bringing an empty notebook which I hope to not bring back empty.
Happy Spring Break!
I always have a blast with Susanna Leonard Hill's seasonal contests which offer both the inspiration to write and a fun block party atmosphere with a great community of writers.
The March Madness Contest: Write a children's story, in poetry or prose, maximum 400 words, that is a fractured fairy tale. You can post entries until Monday March 24 at midnight. So fracture a fairy tale and come play! I'll be bringing a stinky cheese plate...
The Princess and the Stinky Cheese
By Lauri C Meyers
"If you don't find a princess to marry soon," the Queen said, "I'll be forced to give the crown to the dog."
"Mother, your ridiculous "true princess" tests are the problem," Prince Plumbottom whined. "Let's see. Merida didn't feel the grain of rice in her pillow."
"Snored like a bear."
"Fiona couldn't taste donkey snot in her soup."
"Gobbled it down like a dragon."
"Even if a princess passed your test," Prince Plumbottom said, "Princesses are so boring. I want to marry a daring lass!"
"Very well, son. We will look for a true princess who is also daring. I know just the right test."
"Here comes a girl now, and she has a branch in her hair!" he clapped his hands. "This young woman has had an adventure."
The prince skipped over to the soaking wet maiden.
"Hello, I'm Prince Plumbottom."
"Hello, I'm Princess Peabody," she said. "I was tracking a rattlesnake, but I fell into the river and now I'm quite lost."
"A rattlesnake? How daring!" the prince squealed. "Won't you join us for lunch?"
Princess Peabody wiped her muddy face with a napkin. She was about to blow her nose, but stopped when she heard the Queen whisper "Stinky Cheese Test" to the prince. She had heard of queens like this.
"Cheese, dear?" the Queen asked.
"Oh, it's a lovely green," Princess Peabody said. "But it's not nearly stinky enough."
The prince beamed.
The Queen thumped on the table. "Cook! Bring the stinkier cheese!"
The cook held a handkerchief over her nose and presented the stinkier cheese.
"Yummy. It smells like an ogre's shoe," the princess said. "But my Kingdom has much stinkier cheese."
The Queen's face turned red. "Guards! Find the stinkiest cheese in the land!"
The knights returned with a metal trunk which smelled like a dragon's armpit.
"Open it!" the Queen commanded.
 |
(Happy Dog by vikush via sxc.hu
with cheese by halifaxsxc via sxc.hu) |
The knights closed their armor masks and reached with a sword to open the chest. The stench was so horrific, so terrible, so... stinky that everyone fainted.
Everyone except Princess Peabody.
She fed the stinky cheese to the royal dog who didn't mind the smell at all. Then she blew her nose, finally clearing it of river mud.
The Queen came to and saw the empty cheese plate. "A true princess!"
Prince Plumbottom declared, "A daring princess!"
Burp! The dog agreed.
And they all lived stinkily ever after.
I have been planning to interview my local children's librarian for a long time. Unfortunately, it took over a year for me to shower on the same day as story time. (Hey, I have to make time to write somehow...sorry personal hygiene.) I'm so glad the day finally came, because I enjoyed every minute of my time with Linda Lawrence. She was full of wonderful insights and some great quotes.
The interviewed actually started with Linda asking about me. Which was so kind. She must have established I was nervous, or perhaps she shares that universal librarian curiosity.
As usual I humble-fumbled through it: "oh I've written some things...maybe someone will like to read them one day...or maybe not...I blog about stuff...I had a short story published...it was about dragons and cake and stuff..." [Note to self: start practicing verbal pitch before NJ SCBWI conference!!!] But still, it gave me a chance to settle in and ask some questions.
Lauri: How did you become a Children’s librarian?
Linda: I graduated as an English major. My father was screaming at me to find a job, so I looked at what I loved which was books and reading. I found out to be a librarian, you needed your masters. So I went to Simmons College in Boston. But I knew there was only one choice for me- children’s librarian.
I moved with my husband to Fair Lawn, New Jersey. By chance the library needed a children’s librarian. I was there for four years then had an 18-year hiatus while I had my two children.
Around the time my youngest was in first grade, I felt like I needed to work again. So I looked into being a media specialist. To be a media specialist, I needed to have a teaching degree. So I went to William Paterson University to complete my studies and student teaching. But I didn't end up with a media specialist job.
Instead, I saw an ad in the paper for “substitutes” at Wayne Public Library. When I interviewed I said “I only want children’s.” And she said, “Great, we need someone for children’s.” I started as a sub then moved into a part-time role. Following the renovation of the library in 2000, they added a full-time children’s librarian, and I got the job.
Lauri: What drove you to be so passionate about the children’s section?
Linda: It wasn't so much the books, but the clientele I wanted to work with.
I was also the children's librarian at the same time the first Harry Potter book came out. We were all very excited when we read it. That’s really when fantasy got hot, and it still is.
Lauri: As a children's writer, I think I am blessed with the robust children's section here at WPL. Does the Children's Department own the purchase decisions?
Linda: Yes, the children’s department owns the purchase decisions. I've been very lucky with freedom to make choices. This year was the first year our budget was reduced, which forced me to be more picky. Having the local library consortium helps also. We can't carry every book, but the consortium lets us lend books from other libraries.
Lauri: What resources do you use to make purchasing choices?
The School Library Journal is helpful, but used to be treated as the only source. Shelf Talker and Publishers Weekly are good sources which come in my email.
For nonfiction, I go by what people are coming in for and asking for.
I look for topics in catalogs that are hot right now. If trucks are in high demand, a new truck book will interest me.
We also use the Brodart Company (Lauri note: Brodart provides collection and other services to libraries.)
I like things that are readable. I call myself a "librarian of the masses." I'm looking for what "sells." Even though I'm not technically selling the books, I want books people want to borrow.
Lauri: My favorite place is the New Books shelf. Do you have a favorite spot in the Children's department?
Linda: I've always loved reference. I used to read and reread the materials to learn as much as I could and prepare myself for the questions kids would ask.
I see my job today as much more "readers advisory" than reference. When children come in looking for a book, I start by asking, "Tell me something that you like." It can take 25 minutes with some kids until they find the right niche. But once they find it, they are here all the time.
Lauri: You must regularly weed out books as well. How do you decide?
Linda: We have to make room for new books. I'm doing a big weed right now. Children's hasn't been weeded in awhile. There is a report which shows "no circulation for 5 years." I also look if topics are dated, if the book is in bad condition, etc.
Lauri: Thank you so much for meeting with me and sharing your story. It looks like storytime is out and I can hear my kids calling. (yes, this is how it went!)
Linda: Thank you. I'm always here for questions.
Hey, did you hear that? I can ask more questions! Do you have any more questions you would love to know about from a librarian's perspective?
I live by the list.
I'm the kind of gal who puts it on her to-do list to make a little purse for her to-do list so her to-do list can carry its own to-do list.
In fact, any day they'll surely cast me in my own reality show called "Extreme Listing!" (...In the next episode Lauri gets so overwhelmed she forgets to put "shower" on her to do list, and you won't believe what happens!...)
The To-Do list is of course the nephew of Action Plan and the grandchild of Goal Setting. Without goals, I probably wouldn't do anything at all. Without tracking against goals, I probably wouldn't even care. So I treat my listing as seriously as a squirrel gathering nuts in fall.
Since it's my 2ndBlogiversary today (hooray!), I thought it be informational (nerdy?) and fun (like a Star Trek convention) to share my two years of writing by the numbers.
Here's what I've done as a part-time writer (~15-20 hours a week):
All those lists of lists of lists really keep my writing life productive. Though I still have A LOT of polishing yet to do on those drafts, it's nice to take a break and celebrate what has been accomplished.
But now I have to get back to work!
What helps you be a productive writer?
OH...bonus feature. Here's a picture of me really turning 2.
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My Mom let me hold the knife.
You could do that in the 70s. |
My 6yo's birthday last week seriously cramped my writing time. I worry when days pass without writing. Will I forget how to write? Will my pen weep ink on my desk? Will my ideas elope with some other writer?
I was also having a hard time pulling the party together. My mantra for this year was "keep it simple," like the good ol' days: pin the tail, hit the piñata, sing the song, eat the cake, and GO HOME! But instead of simple my plan just looked loosey-goosey. It needed structure. It needed...a story!
With that inspiration I got a little writing time and pulled the party together. You'll have to resist judging the literary merit of the following Little Mermaid-inspired party surprise:
"Stop the music! I just received a letter from Ariel."
I know you are having a birthday party, but Scuttle flew in with news: Ursula is trying to overthrow my kingdom!
I'm away on my honeymoon with my true love, Prince Erik. So, I need your help. Will you help me stop Ursula? Wonderful! I knew you would.
First, you'll need to get past her guards. Try to blend in by dancing, but stop if the music stops.
Now, go see King Triton. If he says "Triton Says" follow his instructions carefully.
Now, find my grotto and write the right names on my human treasures. (Renamed a Schnoggle-splat to flip-flop, dingle-hopper to fork, etc.)
Finally, you need to make a potion to keep Ursula away for good. On the count of 3 pour your octopus goo (vinegar) into your sea urchin dust (baking soda + jello powder.)
Hooray! I knew you could do it. To celebrate, Sebastian hung a piñata of treasures for all of you to share. Thank you for saving us!
Though I often write about my
lacking parenting, I knew I had done well when a 7yo asked at the end of the party, "That wasn't really a letter from Ariel, was it?" There was just enough lilt in her question to know I helped her suspend disbelief. And that's one of the greatest joys of writing.
I don't mind subtle messages in stories, because, I mean, someone has to teach my children how to behave. (Why are you looking at me like that?) But no one likes a book that tastes like a spoonful of castor oil.
There's only one thing I dislike more: Message driven picture books targeted to moms.
You know what I'm talking about...
The ones with the mom who doesn't care that grandma's urn just got knocked off the shelf with a whoopee cushion and her mom's ashes are all over the floor. "Oh I still love you!"
Or...
"Mommy doesn't care that you nearly suffocated your brother with a post-Taco Bell dutch oven. You're still perfect to me!"
It's just unrealistic. Most moms would be yelling, "Get to your room! And don't walk on Grandma on your way!"
I really don't need reminders of my areas of lacking as a mom. Especially right now when I'm hiding in the bathroom because the kids are home on their sixth snow day.
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It seemed like a good idea.
(image by Russell Curtis via sxc.hu) |
Some people complain about the poor mother images in Disney princess movies. But I defend them. These stories give my child an excellent standard with which to compare my mothering. "Hmm, mom hasn't locked me in the dungeon or made me mop the castle floor today. She really is a great mom!"
The flaw in my rant is this short story I'm working which has an iPhone obsessed father. Hypocritical? Or fair and honest reporting of bad fathering habits?
Argh, why did I move into this glasshouse the same month I won a lifetime supply of bricks?
The
Nerdy Chicks had a great post in the fall which is still sticking with me. They shared soundbites from YALLFest, which sounds like a raucous hoedown (
a redundancy, of course there's no such thing as a boring hoedown), but is actually a YA Lit event.
I particularly sparked to
Rainbow Rowell's quote (as quoted by Jocelyn Rish):
“Writing about real things lets you work through your knots through your characters.”
So true. Writing is great therapy. It’s always interesting to see the “knots” which end up in my stories by some subconscious mechanism.
I was exceptionally blessed with "knots" in the last 12 months. The challenges haven't literally appeared in my writing, but the underlying feelings interloped on a regular basis.
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| (Image by John Byer via sxc.hu) |
I was stunned the first time this realization hit. A critique partner helped me with a query letter for a sweet, nature-inspired, quiet book.
She said, "Well, since it's about death, you should include ...."
To which I said, "What's that now?"
This was a picture book after all. But in this quiet book, I had unwittingly worked through all the sorrow of a loved one's passing. Wow.
When hard times strike, I'm like Jane Yolen's dinosaurs - I don't gnash my teeth, stomp around and roar. Nope. I tie my shoes tighter and smile because I have to. So, having the opportunity to work through difficult times with the words on the page has been an important development for me.
So when a recent critique said, "Well, it's okay, because your character's really not lost after all, is he?"
I had to take a second to think. I suppose I’m not. I mean, I suppose he's not really lost. When those times strike which make you feel a little lost, even though you followed every step on a map, know you can always find your way again by just putting your fingers on the keyboard.
So... I admit I miss things when I'm editing. I'd like to say it's because my stories engage my mind so thoroughly (which is of course absolutely true!) But more likely my brain happily overlooks areas which will cause further work. Lazy Brain.
And so I resort to my usual method: trick myself.
This time I'm trying the "find" function (ctrl+f in wordprocessing) to identify passive verb constructions. Just type in your search word and select "highlight all." Just scan the page for highlights and make a decision to keep or slash.
I started with "ing."
 |
So much friendlier than the
dreaded red pen.
(image by Colin Brough via sxc.hu) |
This search returned "cringed" and "boring" - hey, those ings are just fine.
Then I spotted "was running." Uh-oh! Delete. Replace with ran or jogged or sprinted or whatever the situation calls for.
(Not ran fast...no, no I'm still on an adverb diet)
You can also search for: was, had, has, is, are, am. (Note to apostrophacators - those who like contractions- you'll need to search for 'm, 's, 're, and 'd too.)
Some of those results might not identify passive constructions, but just weak verbs. "Is" can be replaced with something better, especially in the economy-of-words-critical picture book form.
I found this method easy and rewarding- less like revising, and more like playing a find the hidden pictures game in Highlights!
Does anyone else have any cheats and tricks to find revision needs?
I mentioned last week how my critiques and edits had been stacking up to an unmanageable pile.
So with
ReViMo as incentive I got busy.
But things got embarrassing fast. And not in an underwear showing while butt-in-chair way. Worse. I found this in one of my critiqued pieces:
He crept quietlyinto the house.
Seriously? I wrote crept quietly? What the heck was I thinking? I wanted to ensure the reader didn't think he was creeping noisily?
It gets worse.
I deleted the word quietly SIX times in one 1200 word short story. If you add in other deletions of "quickly," "slowly," "apologetically"-- 1% of the story was adverbs. The embarrassment of walking around with an atomic wedgie would be less than what I felt that first day.
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"If they don't stop feeding us corn, we should stampede
sometime tomorrow."
(image by sista via sxc.hu) |
There's more.
Began stampeding
Started scanning
Was staring
Weak verb constructions splashed all over the pages. How would cows start stampeding? Doesn't that obliterate the definition of the stampede? Were they discussing a plan to stampede in Moo-vernacular? Nope. Then, why did I write that? Do I have a deep-rooted fear of stampedes, so I wanted to take it slowly? I DON'T KNOW.
I know this has turned into a bad reality show you can't stop watching even though you want to avert your eyes. But it goes on.
Suddenly,
Luckily,
Angrily,
Reluctantly,
Cautiously,
Dreadful. Maybe when I wrote these sentences, the ideas were coming so fast I couldn't think of better ways to show what was happening. I could give myself that excuse. But I won't.
Once again I apologize to my critique partners. I didn't realize I was making you work so hard. If you are now suffering from strikethrough-itis, I promise to help anyway I can.
I don't know why these problems are so easy to find during critiques and impossible to identify in my own stories. But I hope awareness of the problem I’m facing will help me to correct this awkward situation.
Of course, it would make me feel better if you would admit to your writing problems in the comments. Happy revising!
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