Viewing Blog: Things Only Kids Would Understand (copyright Jill S. Burrus), Most Recent at Top
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I'm beginning to collect and gather my poems so that they are in one spot! This is nowhere near everything, but it's a beginning! Enjoy!
Also, constructive criticism is appreciated! :)
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Humphrey
I HAVE A PET GORILLA
HE REALLY ISN’T MEAN
MY FRIENDS SAY HE’S VANILLA
THAT’S ANOTHER WORD FOR SWEET.
MY GORILLA’S NAME IS HUMPHREY
I GOT HIM FROM THE ZOO
HE JUST DIDN’T SEEM TOO HAPPY
HE NEEDED SOME PLACE NEW.
I KNELT DOWN RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM
AND I GOT DOWN REAL LOW
I SAID, ‘DO YOU LIKE BEING IN A CAGE?’
AND HUMPHREY’S EYES SAID NO.
SO I TOOK OL’ HUMPHREY BY THE HAND
AND WHAT A BIG HAND IT IS AT THAT!
WE STROLLED RIGHT OUT OF THE ZOO THAT DAY
AND HUMPHREY NEVER LOOKED BACK.
I TAKE HIM PLACES WITH ME
AND HE’S USUALLY REALLY GOOD
MY MOM THINKS I SHOULD SEND HIM BACK
BUT I‘M NOT SURE I SHOULD.
THEY DIDN’T LET HIM EAT MINT ICE CREAM
OR JUMP ON HIS PARENTS BED.
THEY NEVER LET HIM CHEW BUBBLE GUM
OR CALL HIS COUSIN NED.
HUMPHREY LOVES TO GROOM HIMSELF
WITH MY DADDY’S BRUSH
I THINK HUMPHREY IS A TERRIFIC FRIEND
MY MOM SAY’S HE’S TOO MUCH.
HUMPHREY SAT ON THE COFFEE TABLE
AND IT SMASHED INTO SMITHEREENS
HE CLIMBED ONTO THE REFRIDGERATOR
AND SQOOSHED OUR TANGERINES.
HE FOUND MY MOMMY’S MAKEUP CASE
AND TRIED HER LIPSTICK OUT
BUT HE SCHMEARED IT ON THE BOTTOMS OF HIS FEET
HE COMPLETELY MISSED HIS MOUTH!
WHEN HUMPHREY TIED MY BED SHEETS
UP TO THE NEIGHBOR’S ROOF
AND SWUNG BACK AND FORTH FROM HOUSE TO HOUSE
THAT WAS MY MOMMY’S PROOF.
‘WE NEED TO TAKE YOUR FRIEND BACK HOME
WHERE HE CAN BE HIMSELF.
HE REALLY ISN’T HAPPY HERE
JUST LOOK AT HIM…ON THE SHELF!’
I TOOK OL’ HUMPHREY BY THE HAND
AND WE HAD A HEART TO HEART
I TOLD HUMPHREY IT WAS TIME TO GO BACK
IT WAS VERY HARD TO PART.
WHEN WE GOT BACK TO THE ZOO THAT DAY
HUMPHREY LOOKED OKAY
HE GOT INTO HIS HABITAT
AND ACTUALLY STARTED TO PLAY!
IT SEEMS THAT HUMPHREY JUST NEEDED ME
TO SHOW HIM A REAL GOOD TIME
AND I GUESS I NEEDED HUMPHREY TOO
THAT SILLY GORILLA OF MINE!
There’s a Kid Under My Bed
I am a monster
and I’m only 5
I will tell you a secret
I can no longer hide.
I am afraid of the dark
I don’t like my room
There’s too many shadows
And they all seem to move
I tried to tell mom
She said it’s all in my head
But that doesn’t make me
Want to go to bed.
At night when I lay there
I can hear him beneath
There’s a kid under my bed
who won’t let me sleep!
I’m not sure what he looks like
But his eyes look real green
He doesn’t try to talk to me
I don’t think that he’s mean.
There’s another in my closet
I think they are friends
they whisper and play
this is not for pretend!
My mother, she tells me
that there is no such thing
as a kid in my closet
it’s only a dream.
She said I watch too many movies
and my imagination runs wild
But I’m still just as scared
When I’m hiding from this child!
I hide under my covers
and pretend to sleep
and sooner or later,
He begins to creep.
He jumps on my bed
and plays with my toys
He wiggles and giggles
He makes so much noise!!
And so my mom comes in
and says, “Go to sleep, Fred!
There’s no such thing
as a kid under your bed!”
Messy Eater
by Jill S. Burrus
Taylor Brooke
Always wore her food
She was the messiest kid
In the whole Burrus brood.
She’d have ice cream a drippin’
From every last finger
Her spaghetti o’s would stick
Her mac n’ cheese would linger.
She’d have a chocolate mustache
And a marshmallow beard
A chocolate chip chin
And a bubble gum ear.
She’d sit and she’d munch
And exclaim quite profoundly,
“I can’t help it at all…
If I wear my food proudly. I
Enjoy every bite, and savor the flavor
I don’t care if this is model
table behavior.”
Her sister Logan Paige, was a much younger
Age
She was a little bit neater in the way of an
Eater.
Logan ate quickly
And never did miss…
The chance to mow down
A big Hershey’s Kiss.
She loved to eat chips
And Dorito’s were her thing
She’d dance the whole time
She’d eat and she’d sing.
She didn’t prefer sweets…
Not much of a treat…
But she was no match for Taylor
Who never could eat neat!
The Prettiest Baby In The World
by Jill S. Burrus
The prettiest baby in the world
Will never come close to you
Our true feelings are endless
And you’re a dream come true.
The sun shines even brighter now
And rain is a shower of emotion
Wind has become our every breath
You are the waves and we are the ocean.
If we could fly, we’d soar way up
And steal the moon in the sky
We would make you a necklace of shiny stars
And put two more in your eyes.
We feel as if we are floating away
From the grasses and green, green Earth
We could swim a thousand miles for you
And be overcome with mirth.
The prettiest baby in the world
Has nothing on you, my dear.
You’ve awakened something inside us
And we think it’s become quite clear.
Words are just words, but ours are yours
And we give them to you with love in each
We bathe in your very perfection
And our love to you, we beseech.
For it is our worldly duty here
To be sure you grow up well
And we, like a great big Oak tree
Will serve, protect and dwell.
Please remember no matter what
Who it is that loves you most
In times of need, it’s us indeed
Who will help you stay afloat.
The prettiest baby in the world
And surely THE most loved
We wish you a life of pure happiness…
It'd be a fraction of what you’ve given us.
I’m NOT a Kid Anymore!!
By Jill Washington Burrus
I’m not a kid anymore!
I can think for myself!
I don’t need your help
To reach the top shelf!
I can pick my own clothes.
I can put them on too.
You don’t need to watch me
When I tie my own shoe!
I don’t want your help
When I’m riding my bike.
I want to eat pizza
Whenever I like!
I’m not tired right now!
Don’t want to go to bed.
Just let me be!
I’m alright I said!
You need to watch me
While I play outside.
You follow me around
I’ve got nowhere to hide!
I wish I were a superhero
I’d could fly far away…
To a place where everything
Goes exactly my way!
I would run in barefeet
No vegetables would exist.
I’d have a big recycle bin
For my mom’s chore list!
I could eat potato chips
And chew bubble gum.
I would ride my bike all over
And play in the sun!
I wouldn’t have a sister
Or brother, no way!
All the toys would be mine
All the games I could play!!
I would go to bed when I want…
No “ifs”, “ands” or “buts”!
I could stay up all night
Until the sun would come up.
I would eat candy all day
And cookies all night…
I’d NEVER have milk…
Milk’s good for you, right?
There wouldn’t be any dentist
Or doctors or teachers.
No “How do you do” or “Thank you”
Or “Pleases”…
Yep, my world would be empty
All except for me.
Come to think of it now…
How boring that would be!
Who would buy me my toys?
Hang up my art?
When I get good grades in school,
Who will tell me I’m smart?
Who will clean up my cuts
If I fall off my bike?
Who will know without fail
The kind of cake that I like?
When it’s raining outside
Who will drive me to school?
I can’t pick my own clothes -
I’d look like a fool!
I guess I was wrong,
I need them I see…
Without them, I’m not really sure where I’d be.
Don’t get me wrong
I’m not changing my tune!
I will tell them what I told you
I’ll tell them real soon!
I’m a big kid now!
I’m no longer a baby!
*yawn* Soon as I’m done with my nap
I’ll tell them all…maybe.
Picky Pants
By Jill S. Burrus
Susie Persnickety sat in her room
“I don’t want to eat broccoli, and I
Can’t stand those mushrooms!”
She sat with arms folded,
Her lower lip poking out
“I will NOT have steamed carrots
And you can keep those bean sprouts!”
Her dinner just sat there
Getting cold and furry
But Susie just sat right on - she was
In no kind of hurry!
“I like chocolate and candy
And all sorts of sweets.
I don’t eat creamed corn
Or those slimy red beets.”
“If you give me what I ask for
We could avoid this fight.
I ask you for my favorites
Almost every single night!”
“I want ice cream lasagne with
Chocolate chip topping.
Lollypop jello and pancakes a sopping.”
“Pizza pot roast made
in an Easy bake oven.
Bubblegum pudding
With marshmallow a fluffin’!”
“After my dinner, I will then
Take a nap…
And when I awake,
We’ll work on my snack.”
Cranky
By Jill S. Burrus
I’m a cranky kid this morning
Please don’t bother me.
Mom woke me without warning
Can’t she just let me be?
I don’t want to talk
Don’t want to think.
Don’t want to eat
Don’t want to drink.
I just want to sit here and
sulk and pout.
I want peace and quiet
Please don’t shout.
Don’t ask me questions
Don’t make any noise
Don’t offer me t.v…
Don’t offer me toys.
You see me sitting here
Just leave me alone.
Nothing good to say…
You won’t like my tone.
What’s that you say?
You’re making pancakes?
With blueberries and butter and
Strawberry fruit crepes?
You have orange juice and
Milk on the table?
Well, I suppose I can move
I guess now I’m able…
I feel much better now
Not so grumpy anymore
Life’s not so bad…
Not so hard being 4!
Cookin’ Octopus
by Jill Burrus
So, in case you ever wondered…
In case you got to scritchin’…
Don’t ever take your octopus
And put him in the kitchen.
What a massive mess you’ll find
As he cracks a dozen eggs…
Octopi can be one heck of a guy
But he can’t control his legs.
His first leg opened the fridge door
The second grabbed the juice
The third one held the pancake mix
The fourth just swung all loose…
The fifth one shook the frying pan
The sixth one propped him up…
The seventh leg slung toast at us…
The eighth one filled my cup.
The first leg slammed the fridge door shut
The second one spilled the juice
The third one shook the pancake mix
The fourth one… still no use
The fifth one threw the frying pan
All the way up to the ceiling…
The sixth one caught the pan down low
And sent my mommy reeling.
The seventh leg, well, it wasn’t much help
Clearing off the table
It grabbed one corner of our table cloth
And dumped it on Aunt Mable.
The eighth leg tried
To wipe us dry
But it completely failed.
My brother tried to mop it up
My sister completely bailed.
Mommy sat and cried and cried
Daddy just stood there stunned
Grandpa blotted his furrowed brow
Grandma came undone
Aunt Mable told the octopus,
“You better get to hitchin’!”
And I vowed I’d never let another octopus
Come anywhere near our kitchen!
Erin McShearin
By Jill Burrus
Erin McShearin
had nothin’ to wear and
she didn’t much care
for that.
She had a hat
and a coat
with the buttons all broke
and her pants were all worn
where she sat.
Her shoes had unglued
at their sight,
she “poo-poohed”
and she would never
wear a pin-stripey shirt.
She turned up her nose
flung the outfit mom chose
