We spent this weekend at the Phoenix Comicon and had a lovely time. I got to see many friends, tons of fantastic costumes, and we felt as though we had a grand adventure.

One of the things I love about Comicon is that while it exists to promote comics, film, games, etc., it has evolved to be all about people embracing exactly the things that got them beat up for on the school playground. An extreme celebration of everything geek. A minority group struggling for acceptance that is coming into it’s own.

Gendered and genderless themes abound here, as they often do. The problem of well defined gender roles and gender identification has always been a bug of mine. Raised during the period of FREE TO BE YOU AND ME my childhood was mix of tradition and breaking tradition. (Sesame Street was AWESOME too.) Or as I like to think of it; moving towards the light and evolving.

Yes, men have always had the power, but in this game of strict gender roles the only thing equal is the screwing over that we all get–men included. I attended a panel on bullying that was given by Kids Need To Read. A great organization that promotes literacy. One of the things that was said contributes to bullying is the absence of the father in the house. The way I see it, what contributes greatly to bullying and the absence of the father is those damned gender definitions. As a society we are groomed to reject anyone who does not fit into the defined roles of man and woman. Scared that our kids won’t be accepted, we criticize them in order to shape them into acceptable human beings. Because it is important, often survival depends on being accepted by the societal group. However, this is bullying pure and simple.

I watched a show on television about a tribe of people in the South American jungle. They are fierce warriors. This training starts at birth. The parents and older siblings tease the small child and poke them with sticks until they cry and then they ridicule them in order to make them tough. I see no difference between this and what we do to our children at times.

A while ago when I was standing in line at a convenience store, a boy was reacting to being told ‘no’ by his father for something he’d asked for–as children often do. The father turned to him with a fierce expression and said; “You sound like a woman!”

“You (insert any verb here) like a girl!” Holy emasculation Batman! ANYTHING BUT BEING LIKE A GIRL!!!

I have had conversations about the differences of male VS female with people. I get that there are people who are masculine and feminine and it’s a good thing too. But for the love of everything emotionally healthy, there is little difference. We are all human and men are just as emotionally angsty as women. Oh yes they are, and it’s all good.

We have such strict standards for the men in our lives. Who can blame them for giving up and leaving?

This is another thing I love about the comicon; gender freedom. Whee! But it isn’t complete, there was plenty of porno-misogynistic bullshit to go around. Lots of women offering themselves up as idolized body parts coupled with the men that love to hate and exploit them. Much more creepy than any creeping soul sucker from a nether dimension bent on killing off the human race from the latest video game who was also crawling around the conference hall. I would rather hang with the zombies than the hooter-seekers.

In one of the break-out sessions, two of my author/illustrator friendso were talking about illustrating. As I listened to these two beautiful men speak on the heels of the bullying presentation, I realized that here were two great examples of people who have survived and transcended that damned male gender gauntlet.

Adam Rex who is a brilliant artist and author infuses humor and emotion into his work. With gentle affection, fearless creativity, and dry humor that’s relentless with spot-on hilarity. As I sat and listened to him, I could him leading Peter out of Neverland and then watching Adventure Time with the Lost Boys. This man always inspires me, but his connection to his readers is solid and essential.

James Owen who has a wicked sense of humor, insane business ethic, and is also brilliant and creative. James has taken up motivational speaking in addition to the reams of art and writing he puts out. I’ve seen grown men weep at his talks.

I know the reason for the tears. FREEDOM. As a woman, I understand this intimately. Men are long due societal freedom from the oppression of terms like “manly man”, “a good man”, “boys will be boys”, and that oldie but nauseating “don’t be such a girl.”

There is an importance for boys to see that a man can also be a fully-formed functioning human who is openly emotional and creative and confidant. Both of these men are fantastic examples of this. I want to clone them and send them to every school around the globe. Fortunately, they aren’t the only ones and I’m hoping that one day soon our society will shift over to the place where men don’t feel as though they must flee, drink/drug themselves into oblivion, or commit suicide.

Another “good man” and resource for putting a stop to bullying and/or supporting your child who is struggling with bullying or their school work is Rick LaVoie. The man has a ton of educational experience and is fantastic as what he does.

I’m looking forward to next year’s comicon and a brighter, gender liberating, future.

I just finished reading my friend Larry Dane Brimner’s latest book BLACK & WHITE, THE CONFRONTATION BETWEEN REVEREND FRED L. SHUTTLESWORTH AND EUGENE “BULL” CONNOR. This book fits in with two of Larry’s previous works; WE ARE ONE and BIRMINGHAM SUNDAY. The trio takes us through the pivotal events of the Civil Rights Movement and it’s epicenter, Birmingham Alabama. These books are written for kids who are researching and writing papers about the Civil Rights Movement and it’s key players, but I challenge anyone-adults I’m pointing at you-to pick these books up and then put them back down again without reading every page. Without examining every photo. Without reading each sidebar and image caption. Yes, it’s history and you’ve already heard all about the civil rights fights of the ‘50s/’60s, but you haven’t really seen anything until you look through the lens of Larry’s eyes at the subject.

In WE ARE ONE, we meet Bayard Rustin-advisor to the now legendary Dr. Martin Luther King. Bayard instructed Dr. King in the peaceful resistance techniques that his grandmother taught him. It was Rustin’s beliefs that guided Dr. King in the attitude that would part the sea of hatred. Like the greatest of heroes, Bayard faded into the background when it looked as though he might be used to overshadow Dr. King and the issue of Civil Rights. You see, Bayard was also homosexual which was possibly the only worse thing to be than being black back at that time. But I believe that Bayard’s work has now carried forward in spirit to help in today’s fight for gay civil rights.

Larry’s next book BIRMINGHAM SUNDAY takes us to the church in Birmingham on that horrible day a bomb went off killing four little girls, and in the aftermath-two young boys. Larry introduces us to each child and makes it clear that these were everyone’s children. We get to know these six children so that we can feel the pain and the senselessness of the loss of their precious lives. Those were our daughters and sons taken in the hot destructive path of hate that blindly cut through the church in Birmingham. The beautiful writing and the tender care that Larry lends to the narrative will touch all readers and change them for the better.

Reading BLACK & WHITE, Larry introduces us to Reverend Fred L. Shuttlesworth first and then to his nemesis Eugene “Bull” Connor. The third part of the book is the confrontation between these two powerful human

I’ve often called it the “cruel mountain.” It’s got a few stiff inclines and it’s fairly depressing to have a 3year old lap you….a couple of times. Also, that asphalt is a lot more slippery than it looks. Still, the scenery is lovely and so it makes for a challenging yet beautiful walk.

There is a mountain tower at the top and I suspect the people of the “hood” took it over as a exercise destination. The owners of the mountain don’t seem to mind.

I am amazed at the wildlife we’ve seen there. This mountain is just across the road from our house, but I only see the jackrabbits and rattlesnakes there. Trust me, I’m okay without having the rattlesnakes in my backyard and you know as soon as I typed that a female rattlesnake laid a clutch of eggs under our jungle gym and will raise her brood before I can say that ‘I’ve never seen a rattlesnake in my back yard’ again.

In addition to rattlers, we’ve seen these guys. I don’t know what they are, they’ve got just a touch of red. Maybe a king snake?

Here’s a glamor shot.

When we walk in the dark, I take a flashlight because I don’t want to step on anything. I saw a lizard someone else had stepped on, not pretty.
Here’s a scorpion.

This is actually a centipede. He was zipping around in my light circle about a million miles a second, I’m surprised I got at least one somewhat clear shot. I’ve never seen a centipede like this. It’s got all these long, crazy legs and I think I heard it ask me for another shot of espresso?

This whip scorpion was so small, I almost didn’t see it and I didn’t know what it was until I did a google image search. Incredible and creepy isn’t it? But what I didn’t notice until I took this image into my editor was the teeny tiny scorpion beside it! I suspect that we interrupted some sort of circle of life struggle here. Scary to think that we couldn’t see the little scorpion, makes me not want to stand still next time we walk the mountain in the dark.

One day we found th

At least that’s what the game tells me. Which makes me feel pretty good even though most of the time I get told that I could do better, or that I need to redeem myself.

The sedentary writer is a sad writer. Our bodies were meant to move. In all directions. And stretch. Otherwise our bodies will forget what they are supposed to do and we’ll be left with the words “I used to be able to…” falling out of our lips as we fall out of our chairs. How is the brain supposed to compose the next grand opus if it is mired down in sludge and Funyuns?

Walking works fairly well for me. Or it seemed to. It is problematic for reasons I won’t go into. A stationary bike caught my eye and I set it up next to the non-electric, fully manual treadmill that tormented me for awhile. The bike had it’s charms, but in the end we also had a parting of ways.

Then I decided to try something I had heard about….I’m not sure where. DDR! The dancing arcade game has a home version. Hmmm. I used to be a dancer. I love dancing. I’m one of those house choreographers, I crank up the music and go for it with wild abandon. With a fervor and flair that would go viral on YouTube in less than half a day becoming something I would never get over. It would be shown and talked about on the news–in a BAD way, with raucous laughter. My children….and husband would have to change their names. Oh yeah, the curtains definitely get closed everytime.

Seems that even the things we love can become problematic. When you like to dance, it’s easy to lose steam. Depression also opens the door for that nasty inner critic to do her worst and the next thing I know, I’m sitting on the sidelines thinking I should be dancing but have no heart to get back up. That’s when I can hear my heart beat slow and feel my blood thicken.

Dance Dance Revolution, or DDR, is a video game. I’ll say it again, it’s a video game. I’ve mentioned DDR to family and acquaintances and I’ve gotten this reaction twice: “What’s DDR?” “Oh, that’s the video game that my 5yo daughter likes to play.” The Inner Critic turns inside me and whispers, “I told you so.”

Well, it’s either screw them or screw me and I’ve gotta tell you, I’m tired of being screwed over like that.

I bought my first DDR game and brought it home with a cold sort of attitude. It would have to earn my respect and in turn my love and devotion. I flattened out the dance mat and let my sons take it for the first whirl. After some technical snafus were fixed, I stepped onto the dance mat for my first time. I looked at the screen. Arrows flew up the screen and terror dropped down into my stomach. I was stupid and uncoordinated. For Pete’s sake! A FIVE YEAR OLD CAN PLAY THIS!!

Too many things! WAY too many things to watch and move and overcome. The music wouldn’t let me quit and trust me, I wanted to. It’s not fun to bounce off a new learning curve and roll to the bottom where that damned Inner Critic wickedly grins at you and displays that ridiculous thumb and forefinger “L” upon her judgmental forehead.

In most things I find similarities to the writing process. I found the writing metaphors in DDR to be so deep I could hardly see the dance mat to hit the arrows.

I pushed through the doubts, fears and stumbles. I’m so happy I didn’t quit. I feel fan-damn-tastic! I’ve been playing DDR on the Wii for three years now. I don’t see myse

Lady Gaga. Just that name evokes strong reactions of joy and admiration or equal amounts of eye-rolling disgust. You’ll get more than the first as a response from me concerning this powerful young woman.

I don’t always agree with her choices, but bring me somebody that you agree with 100% of the time and I would be suspicious. The meat dress? Loved the motivation behind it, but hated the execution. However, as a writer and a creative I am beyond inspired by the woman who calls herself Gaga.

She’s a one-stop shop, a “real deal.” Writer, dancer, choreographer, musician, image builder, business woman; Lady Gaga is a force and a movement.

Gaga was a mentor on American Idol. I missed the show, but since I subscribe to her Facebook posts, I get to see the posted videos of what she’s done. This video is the highlights from her mentoring the singers. It was interesting to watch how they reacted to her suggestions. The singers who listened to her took away some things they needed and a better understanding of performance. After all, it’s more than just singing, the same as writing is more than putting those words on the paper. She said to one contestant that he needed to move and set himself free because “It puts the song in your body.” I liked that image and will think about ways that I can put my writing in my own body, own it, perform it.

I felt that one of the contestants was disrespectful to Lady Gaga. He treated her as if she were the devil as he asked his god for forgiveness. While entitled to his opinion, I thought him to be rude. But I also thought for someone who wants to make a living in the performing arts, he was a hypocrite. He was not being asked to enjoy her music, but to learn from someone who is currently redefining what it is to be a pop-star. Short-sighted on his part. There are lessons here in how to behave at a writing critique and what you should be looking to take away from a crit session.

Broadway-esque performances, full force is her style. The attention to detail alarming. To say this woman is an over-achiever would be an understatement. She says that she is hard on herself. I believe that. Every interview I’ve seen with her is a struggle against herself. She works to project the character of the current project she is promoting while throwing all of the credit to her fans. Gaga deflects compliments and is constantly making fun of herself. There is no taking herself seriously in the Haus of Gaga, the serious stuff is saved for making her art. Here she is on Germany’s Top Model. Gaga, and her dancers bring down the house, as always. Then she sits down for an interview, out of breath from giving everything to her performance.