Usually, when I buy a new car, I try to pick a color that is a bit unique. Of course, that's generally impossible, unless I'm up for a custom paint job. But inevitably, once I pick a color, it seems like there's more of that color car than any other. And I'm momentarily disappointed, until common sense returns and I realize that it only seems so prevalent because I'm actually paying attention.

When I first got my license and drove around Strongsville on my own (on my hour-long trips to the grocery store to pick up milk for my mom), I would look around at the other drivers and know I was one of the youngest drivers out there. It was special, realizing I had joined this elite group - adults. And it humbled me, made me feel young, right when I was feeling so grown up because I was joining their ranks.

I kept driving, and didn't think much more about it, until one day many years later, when I looked at the driver of some random car and thought, "Holy crap, that kid is too young to be driving!" I was still the same person, still younger than a majority of drivers. But suddenly, in my twenties, I found that my ranking as the runt of the driving litter was overtaken by a whole new generation of drivers.

I must admit here, I think, that I have liked each year of my life better than the year before. Sure, there are years that have sucked - like when my mother-in-law was diagnosed with and underwent treatment for breast cancer, so in retrospect, if I were plotting a graph with Year on one axis, and Happiness on the other, that year would have had a definite dip - but I'm not one to dwell in misery for long, and will instead find the positive (like discovering The Gathering Place for my mother-in-law and looking for ways to help her) and try to make the most of any moment (or keep busy enough to not notice).

So when I found myself thinking young drivers look too young, I didn't despair and think 'oh my, I'm so old!' I just laughed at myself for being so stunned at the concept of aging, and carried on.

My youngest child will be 5 this summer. And I'm thrilled. My husband loves the baby and toddler years, and bemoans the passing of that era (though he agrees that we're DONE!!!!!). But me? I'm not so sad. I took pictures and videos. I wrote anecdotes in my journals. I can wander down memory lane whenever I like. And I am so loving who they're becoming, loving the development of independence, and especially appreciating all the potential they have to hold interesting conversations and to share experiences (like reading the entire Harry Potter series together), that I don't regret for a minute that the years when I had to tend to their every need are ending. And really, if I miss cuddling with a baby, that's what friends are for.

We had a couple come over for dinner earlier this week with their 5 month old. The mom was feeling bad because they happened to have come during the baby's Witching Hour (in our house, that was roughly 6-8pm, leading up to bedtime. That was roughly the same for this kid). She kept apologizing about all the crying and fussing, until I reassured her that for me, as a mom of 3, I just fully appreciate that it's "not my kid". It truly doesn't bother me at all when someone else's kid cries or fusses. I'm happy to help, and I feel bad for the kid and parents being miserable, but it certainly doesn't bother or annoy or irritate or irk me at all. It's not my kid; my kids don't need me at the moment; I can relax. I can CHOOSE what to do with my moment. Mind you, I do spend most of my week "choosing" to go drive the kids around the Greater Cleveland Area to soccer practice/games, doctor's appointments, and/or school functions, but that's beside the point.

Nonetheless, while I have been thoroughly enjoying, for the past year or so, being able to hop in a car with my boys and just take off on a whim, without having to worry about packing a diaper bag or snacks or anything, it wa

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So I got an email recently that someone is coming to Cleveland over the long weekend, and would I have any advice on where to visit. The visitors have a 5 year old son and a 1 year old daughter.

I was starting to draft an email and realized that this isn't an uncommon question, so I may as well save the information to make it more accessible. So, here's my Kid-Friendly Visitor's Guide to Cleveland:

Things to See/Do

1. Memphis Kiddie Park. It's a real dinky mini amusement park off I-480 & Tiedemann Road. It's meant for kids up to age 7 (2 of my 3 kids have outgrown it but still will go and repeatedly ride the little roller coaster. there's a train ride, merry go round, and a few other little carnival-type rides. Visit Website.

2. The Metroparks. Not far from there (1/2 mile, perhaps) you can go into the Metroparks and have a picnic, hike around a bit, and enjoy the great outdoors. The Metroparks around here are really nice, and quite varied in the things you can explore. On the west side of Cleveland, there is more rocky terrain (around Rocky River); on the east side, you can hike along/through Chagrin River; there's short, flat trails, long hilly trails, and everything in between depending on your interest (and stroller needs). Visit Website.

3. If your kids like animals, Lake Farmpark is nice. Website (on the east side of town)

4. The Zoo

There are various areas to choose from:

University Circle

University Circle has (in addition to Case Western's campus and Severance Hall, home of the Cleveland Orchestra, which I'm guessing you'll opt against with the kids):

1. Children's Museum - personally, I find it overpriced and underwhelming, but others love it. They charge admission for everyone, grown ups and kids, and there's really nothing to interest adults - at least not me - so maybe that's my issue.
2. Cleveland Museum of Art - it's free, and the renovations are gorgeous, so it might be nice just to go wander and get out of the rain for a while. And if the weather's nice, just taking in the view from the 2nd floor expanded area is nice
3. Cleveland Botanical Gardens - Beautiful indoor and outdoor garden stuff, if you're into all that nature and stuff. Plus, the outside garden is a nice place for the kids to run around.
4. Cleveland Museum of Natural History - Even if you don't want to go inside and explore the wonders of the museum, the kids will enjoy playing on Steggy outside.
5. Between the former three museums is Wade Oval, where on Wednesdays through the summer there are concerts in the evenings, and through the winter there is ice skating. But even when there are no events, this is a nice area for the kids to run around (with 3 boys under the age of 10, I'm all about scoping those out).
6. And on the other side of the art museum (closer to Euclid Avenue and Chester Avenue), is Wade Lagoon, a beautiful little spot to enjoy the beauty and for kids to run around. Pack some sandwiches and have a picnic, then walk around and feed the ducks/geese.

Up the hill, not far from there, is Cleveland Heights. This area has a few little restaurants that the kids might enjoy:

1. Dewey's Pizza on Lee Road near Cedar.

2. Tommy's Restauran

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For starters, I have to clarify that while I do enjoy listening to the radio, I am generally notoriously bad at knowing song titles and their
Corresponding artists. The radio in my car (factory original, no upgrades) does not have that nifty feature that tells me the name of the song and/or artist. I have noticed, however, that doing this allows me to recognize a musician's voice and musical style, so while I don't know the name of the singer, I know that this song is by the same guy that sang that other song.

So I liked the song 'Just the Way You Are' long before I knew it was sung by Bruno Mars. And to be honest, it wasn't until the song 'Grenade' came out that I learned his name. But once I made the connection, I couldn't help but wonder about this poor guy.

In the beginning, boy meets girl and falls madly in love. He worships the ground she walks on, and they live happily ever after.

That is, until we start episode two, in which our hero has discovered a betrayal, and realizes that she's not who he thought she was.

So the only question is, how does this trilogy end?
I eagerly await the release of his next song to find out.

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How do you fight the demons? How do you stop the doubts inside your head - those negative thoughts that tell you that what you're doing is hopeless - from growing so big that they stop you from trying? Because they're coming for me right now. I can't see them, but I can feel them and hear them. I have a family of demons inside me. I picture them as being red and scaly, with tiny pointy ears and a long pointy tail. And a big mouth. (Imagine Mushu from "Mulan", but without the friendly disposition.) It seems that my writer demons and coding demons like to talk, because much of what they say is the same. I'm a hack. I'm no good. There are plenty of people out there way better at this job than I am, and I should just give up. Because my work is shoddy, and will never be good enough for anyone else to want to partake (be it publish my story or visit my website, it doesn't matter).

I know these demons are not going to help me do better. I know that listening to them is not a good idea. Seriously, if they would just shut up, I could get back to work and make some progress - even if it's minimal - to tide me over until the next day, when hopefully they'd be too busy or tired to distracted to bother me. Of course, if these demons are wandering around inside my body, I'd hate to think of what they'd do to distract me.

A boost is what I need. How about a quick visit to Facebook, to see some friendly faces, some happy posts, and remember that I am lucky to have so many friends, and that this is a wonderful time in which we live that we are able to be in touch with people we care about, regardless of geography. Thank you, Facebook. Such a simple concept, such a simple design. Meanwhile, my website has so many more pieces and parts to it. Clearly the boulder I'm trying to push up the mountain is way too big. This site is so complicated. I need to simplify it or it just won't work.

Darn, the demons noticed me. It made me compare my future site to an established website. If that's not going to discourage me, I hate to think of what will. Mind you, I know how to recreate Facebook, and that fact ought to make me feel better, but instead, the demons remind me that it wouldn't do any good since Facebook is already created, so it's really a useless skill.

Fine. Something else then... I could walk away for a while, take a break. But I only have half an hour until the boys are done with school, so if I take a break now, that's it for the day. And what have I really accomplished?

Sometimes, earlier in the day, I can get up, walk to another room, perhaps walk the dog, break for a quick lunch, or talk on the phone for a few minutes. But I just took two weeks off, and really need to get work done.

Well, here's the thing. Here's how I'm going to fight these demons. I'm going to listen to them. I'm going to hear what they're telling me, face my biggest fears of the day, and use these fears to make sure they don't paralyze me tomorrow. I've made a list of all the failed items I've discovered on my website today - all the so-called proof that I'm a bad programmer - and I'm going to fix them, one by one, tomorrow. I've made a list. It's not a complete list (since I'm not done discovering all my flaws), but it doesn't have to be. I just need enough to have a plan tomorrow morning.

Without a plan, I have to wander. And when I wander, my demons come out of their cages and lead me astray. And once there, I have to listen to them. I can't help it. But then, when I listen, they quiet down. Perhaps I just "trick" them into returning to their cages because they think that they won, or maybe they want to help and this is the only way they know how (much like, sometimes, as a parent, I offer advice to my kids in a less-than-nice way - "for their own good"). Or perhaps they are firecrackers that will explode and then fizzle down to nothing.

But in case you were wondering, I talked my demons down while typing this. I don't kn

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"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood. "
- Ralph Waldo Emerson, from "On Self Reliance"

I read this essay when I was in high school. It was in one of my textbooks, and I loved the excerpt so much that I photo copied it and taped it to my bedroom wall, above my desk. (Yes, I was a nerd. I believe I've long established that.)

Anyhow, why am I bringing this up now? Because I would be a fool not to learn and grow.

When I was fourteen years old, I became a vegetarian. I was a huge fan of Howard Jones, and had just read some article about why he was a vegetarian, and I was so moved by it that I declared myself vegetarian. The leftover chicken (which was delicious earlier that day) did not sway me. The bacon we had for breakfast the next day did nothing. And for a long time - five years, in fact - I remained a vegetarian. Finally, during my freshman year of college, I recognized that my vegetarianism had shifted from its original lofty origins to being purely about pride. I had been vegetarian for so long, and had worn it as a badge, using it to characterize myself. But the moral reasons, the care for animals, that was only secondary - or tertiary. I found myself wanting to eat meat, but not feeling like I could because I had been such an obnoxious vegetarian for so long that I was afraid of what people would say (damn those "people", pretty much all in my head).

So on my birthday, my family came to my dorm to pick me up and take me out to dinner. And I let my brother (a life-long chicken-and-rice eater) order for me. As I turned nineteen, I put my foolish pride aside and returned to the rank of omnivore. I don't know if I realized then, or if it's just retrospectively that I recognize, that I had forgotten Ralph Waldo Emerson's message.

I am not a mountain, nor a building, nor some law that needs to remain firmly rooted and unchanging. It is my right as a human to change. It is the right of others to judge me for my inconsistent declarations, but then it is my right to ignore them. Frankly, the best lesson that semester was that nobody really noticed the change. It was refreshingly humbling to learn that something that had seemed so important to me really didn't matter to anyone else (because I wasn't preventing anyone else from eating what they wanted to eat, so who really cares).

I bring this up now - not to wax philosophically about Michael Vick and whether I believe he has changed or not - but to retract an earlier declaration I made on Facebook. (See, there is a point to this post).

I'm not going to self-publish "The Gandhi Gang". At least, not yet. My husband has challenged me to acquire at least ten more rejection letters before I give up on traditional publishing. I had a definite goal in mind: sell 1000 copies of my book to be listed as a published children's author in the Society of Book Writers and Illustrators Directory. And I had started strategizing how I would go about doing that. I figured, with my website, I'm encouraging writers to self-publish their stories, so if I'm going to talk the talk, I ought to walk the walk. Show that I too am willing to self-publish my work. But have I really given it my all? Am I simply being too impatient to give my story the chance? Perhaps.

So despite all the encou

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To whom it may concern,

I would like to offer my services as a Musical Grammarian. I understand that this is an unusual concept, so let me explain. I enjoy listening to the radio, and often listen to popular music on the radio. I am no music connoisseur, but can appreciate a good beat, catchy tunes, and decent lyrics. The last item, however, is where, I believe, songwriters sometimes struggle. In attempting to convey a certain thought or a feeling, lyricists often sacrifice grammar for the sake of rhyme. And while I can appreciate the need for a good rhyme with proper cadence, musicians need to bear in mind that if they do wish to be heard by the masses, they must accept responsibility for educating said masses, and accept their roles as de facto masters of the English language. Thus, they must themselves master the English language.

Many may scoff at the idea. "I create music," they may argue. "not grammatical textbooks." (Okay, I really doubt anyone would ever state that particular sentence, but I think the message is clear). But already our next generation of leaders is more familiar with texting abbreviations and lingo than with proper sentence structure (please feel free to correct me if I am wrong - in complete sentences). And by providing a catchy tune with memorable lyrics, you - the musician - hope to have listeners everywhere singing your song over and over again, even when the radio or iPod is turned off. And as such, you should recognize that in the middle of English class, when your fan is asked by the teacher (or exam) to provide the proper word to fill the sentence "just between you and ___", that this impressionable youth that saved up his/her allowance money just to get your album (or download your tune from iTunes) or get concert tickets to your show doesn't get a C instead of a B because you chose to use "I" to rhyme with "sky".

In case you don't believe the problem exists, let me back up my statement with a few examples of poor English language choices in popular music:

1) Ironic - Alanis Morrisette (1996): Click here to read a decent rundown of how accurate the song really is in defining what irony is (it isn't). But to sum up, 1) I appreciate the irony of a song about irony not accurately defining irony, but 2) applaud the attempt. If it ended up serving as a decent jumping point in English classes everywhere to discuss the fine points of what irony is and isn't, then that's cool.

2)If You Love Somebody, Set Them Free - Sting: Again, I know I'm going way back on this one here, but this one really irks me since Sting started off as an English teacher, so there really is no excuse for not coming up with grammatically correct lyrics (to be clear: "Somebody" is singular, "Them" is plural. They just don't belong together!) I understand wanting to appeal to both genders, but this isn't the way. Pretend to talk to one person (and thus pick one gender) and let people attracted to people of the non-mentioned gender figure it out for themselves (see, "people" and "themselves" are both plural, so it's okay), record two versions of the song, or come up with some other solution. Be creative. You know you can. Or rather, you could have. It's too late now. I just hope that whenever someone thinks to remake this song, that songwriter bears this is mind (or perhaps that is why it hasn't been remade).

3) Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie: "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket". Hopefully this is obvious. If not, let me suggest "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses his blanket." As this is a fictional child conveying the extent of missing, it doesn't need to be globally approachable. It could just as easily be "her", but then would that convey that a girl child misses a blanket much more than a boy child would, thus implying weakness or depen

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I recently read this article in the NY Times (Full Disclosure: a friend posted a link to the article on Facebook) titled Toddlers' Favorite Toy: The iPhone, which proves, without a doubt, that the iPhone is a dangerous, dangerous thing, and that our children are going to grow up as spoiled zombies with no social skills. Experts all agree that iPhones, the television, and video games are the worst things in the world for our children, and that those of us who have allowed these devil's playthings into our homes and into their hands are horrible, irresponsible parents.

Okay, perhaps I'm editorializing a little bit, and I may seem a little defensive. But here's the thing: I'm a software engineer. I'm working on building a website where children can read stories online, where parents can find stories they like for their children to read online. I have three active sons. And in our house, we have three working computers, two televisions (only one of which is ever used), a Nintendo Wii, and three Nintendo DS's. We also own a portable DVD player that we allow our kids to watch movies on during long road trips. So yes, I may have taken the criticisms in the article a little personally.

But here's the thing: raising children in a technologically-advanced world is not easy, but it is no more difficult than raising children in a pre-tech world. Simply hiding all technology from our children is not going to help them in the future, not when many of the basic tools of the future will be built upon the skills they gain now from playing video games (credit goes to my husband for this point). What will the controls of cars be like in the future? Will cars still be manufactured with the same levers and manual controls of today, or might the controllers be more reminiscent of the Wii controller and nunchuk? Since they will be designed by those individuals growing up today amongst these responsive controllers, why would they not choose to integrate what they know into what they need?

My youngest son got a DS for his fourth birthday. I'm sure many of you believe that this is far too young an age for him to own one. But since both his brothers own DS's, which they would share with him, and we were heading on our long summer drive to Montreal, my husband and I decided it would be fine. Our eldest got his as a Christmas present right before we flew out to India for two weeks. The ground rules were set:

1. no playing the DS when there are other people around.


2. You must share.


3. You must take care of the DS, including charging it and keeping track of all pieces.

My kids know the rules, and they follow them if they wish to play. They are not allowed to take their DS's to school, but they did take them to their brother's indoor soccer practice, when they were expected to sit around and wait for their brother.

In other words, there are times when it is perfectly acceptable for a child to be occupied by a handheld game system, and as long as parents are willing to monitor their children's activities, and be willing to tell them 'no' if they break the rules, then the children are not going to become evil minions of Satan (or whatever it is techno-phobic parents are afraid of).

The example in the article spoke of a toddler who wouldn't get into the car to go to daycare without getting to play with the iPhone. This has nothing to do with the iPhone. Substitute the word "binky" or "dolly" in the sentence, and the behavior is the same. You may argue that the iPhone is more likely to draw the attention of the child, but that's a load of crap. The parental reaction is the issue, not the toy. To blame the toy is to set a parent up to avoid taking responsibility for teaching their child proper behavior. Yes, that sounds harsh, but each time that parent decided to reinforce the tantrum, it taught the child to have a tantrum. I do

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This is a test. This is only a test. If this were a real emergency, you would be screaming by now. If this were a real emergency, you would be jumping out of your seat and running around in circles as you tried to determine what to save first before fleeing the scene. Kids, yes. Photos? Sure, but is it safe to go upstairs to get them? What a stupid place to keep your most valuable memories! Oh no! Your computer! Everything is on there! Can you save it? Don't forget to wear shoes. Of course you didn't leave them lying by the back door. They're in the closet under the stairs. Tennis shoes? No, not without socks. No heels. Geez! Hurry it up! This is a real emergency, right? Comfortable shoes, warm, easy to slip on. Get out there! Your kids are already on the sidewalk, waiting for you. But hold on a minute, do they have their shoes, or a coat? What if the house burns down? You'll need your cell phone. And a charger. Car keys. And license. Okay, do you think you have everything you need?

But what if the kids are hungry? What if they're not outside yet? You go to the foot of the stairs and yell their names. Nothing. But does that mean they're already in the meeting place, or that they're passed out in their beds - or in the basement. Better go check. You run upstairs, dropping the pile of coats and shoes at the foot of the stairs. The first door is closed. You reach for it slowly - so if it's hot you don't burn your hand - but then you realize that if it is hot, you are still going in there if your child is in there, and you push your way in. The window is open, and the room is empty. A mess, as usual, but otherwise normal. You suspect that your child may have been smoking; why else would the door be closed and the window open? But you can't think about that right now. You rush out and move on to the next room. That door is open, and the few toys sprawled on the floor tell you that either they left it there earlier in the day or they left their game abruptly when they heard the alarm. You hope for the latter and step out, then remember a third possibility - that someone is in the bathroom. And if this is an emergency, and despite needing to use the toilet, if your child still ran outside, someone is going to need a change of clothes (because what could be worse than losing everything you own in a fire and being stuck in soiled clothes?). You run back into the bedroom (which has no visible signs of any smoke, flames, or any other natural disaster at the moment), and you rush to the dresser to grab some clothes. But, not knowing which kid was prevented from using the bathroom, you have to get clothes for everyone. And actually, if the weather dips down much more, your children will be cold, and if your house is going to be destroyed, you really can't handle an ill child or two on top of that.

But to fit all this stuff, you're going to need a bag. So you run up to the attic (checking the door first, of course), and grab a large duffel. You run back down, three steps at a time, and slip down the last few steps. Cursing to yourself, you get up again, run back into your child's room, and randomly grab clothing from each drawer. Jeans are wonderful in any weather. A short-sleeved shirt, a long-sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt should cover any weather. Three pairs of underwear, two pairs of socks, and a pair of pajamas for each kid. If they're going to be stuck in a homeless shelter, they'll be bored. So you grab a few of their favorite books, plus a couple of books they haven't read yet that you got for them hoping they'll check them out. Then you put them back because, if they've lost their home already, they won't be in the mood to read challenging books. You'll need to find the library card. But you throw in a couple books anyhow - for yourself (since you can't exactly share your romance novels with them).

You rush into your room, and grab clothes for yourself and your partner. But you have to be careful with your partner's clothes, be

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Recently, a couple of people have asked me for ideas on what to pack in lunch boxes, and while my initial reaction is "Why are you asking me? I'm still trying to figure that out myself!" I realize that it's not unreasonable to expect me to have a clue. I am, after all, starting my fifth consecutive year of packing school lunches. It would be expected that I figure out what the heck I'm doing in that amount of time.

And so, while I'm still always looking for new ideas, I guess I do have several standards that I easily fall back on. What I'm hoping for, through writing this, is to gather more ideas.

My boys attend a school that has no cafeteria, and that encourages packing no-waste lunches - meaning that Go-Gurts, Lunchables, Uncrustables, and other pre-packaged convenient items are not an option. I will, on occasion, toss one in (usually individual yogurt containers that I inherit after the boys have stayed with their grandparents but haven't finished all the treats that were bought for their visit). But for the most part, I have whole-heartedly adopted their Green philosophy.

Lunch Boxes
Everyone probably already has a lunch box by now, but for those that are still using last year's or are considering getting a new one, I'd like to recommend the byo lunch bag - not that you need to get them customized, I'm just avoiding promoting any one store - because they are EVERYWHERE). What I like about these is that they store flat (and when I have to store 3, it matters!), they can turn inside out to clean, they have ample storage space, and if need be, they are machine washable!

Other supplies
My older kids are expected to pack any utensils they need, a napkin, and a place mat. One thing I've found is that the large collection of baby washrags that we have around the house make nice cloth napkins. I'm actually looking for cloth napkins to use at mealtime that work as well, but in the meantime, we keep our drawer of washrags - and pack the non-patterned ones in the boys' lunches.

I've also picked up a few of those cute-shaped reusable ice packs (a football, a smiley face, and a monkey, to be precise) to toss into their lunches if need be (the bags insulate for 3 hours, so it's really not even necessary).

Finally, I bought an Aladdin Mini Lunch Bowl that comes with a spoon, and does fit into the byo lunch bag.

A couple of sandwich containers, and a whole shelf full of mini-storage (1/2 cup mini-round), and we're ready to go!

Composition of a Meal
To me, a lunch needs to include one "entree" and two sides. Last year, I confess, my fallback meal (which was fine by my boys) was a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, yogurt, and fruit. But with more kids having peanut allergies, I need more options (besides, I want to save PB&J for lunch on soccer game days).

I recently bought a cookbook that boasts recipes made up of 3 or 4 ingredients. I'm hoping some of these turn into decent lunch options. I'm starting by making these foods at home first, and will test how they taste colder (because really, how warm will they really remain 3 hours later - I'll have to test that too).

To me, anything that has to be done repeatedly needs to be as simple as possible. Someone recently posted this quote on Facebook that applies here:

“Whenever there is a hard job to be done I assign it to a lazy man; he is sure to find an easy way of doing it.” –Walter Chrysler

And that's my goal: to make easy the daily chore of packing three lunches. While the school does offer pizza lunches on Friday (for which I definitely sign up), there's still a lot of lunches to be made.

Please send me your suggestions, and I will add to this list with your name. If there's a simple recipe online, include a

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I understand that I may now be considered a Troll now (http://blog.cleveland.com/anger-management/2010/07/if_you_still_are_trying_to_defend_lebron_james_in_cleveland_you_are_now_a_lebron_james_troll_get_los.html), though I am not exactly going to follow the NBA beyond listening to my kids read to me from the sports page during breakfast.

Back in May, I defended LeBron James. Well, I was re-reading that post recently, and all in all, I still believe it. But the part that stuck out for me, in light of recent events, was where I mentioned, “We can even gang up on LeBron and call him out for being a 25 year old spoiled brat.” At the time, I said that he has shouldered the responsibilities over the years. In fact, he really has been the team (with a supporting cast that has been expected to pass him the ball and step aside when the going gets tough). I’m certainly not criticizing any of the players right now; they do their best based on how they’re coached. I’m criticizing the management as a whole. I don’t know what went on behind the scenes in the Cavs organization, but the end result is clear. A young high school graduate was handed the world on a silver platter. He was called “King James” and “The Chosen One” again and again. He was put in a bubble, with people everywhere coddling him and giving him everything he wanted. At some point, he began to believe it. We didn’t mind. We didn’t read anything into his photo shoots and commercials, because he still worked hard, trained hard, and led a clean life. We believed that he saw the humor in the titles, that they were simply ways for the media to sell their stories.

So is he spoiled? Well, according to KeepKidsHealthy.com, “There is no such thing as a spoiled child. Spoiled is an inference, a judgment that people make after noticing behaviors.” His behavior hasn’t changed; we just no longer wish to overlook it because he made a decision we don’t like. If he would have stayed, fine. We would be praising his one-hour special for raising money for charity. We predicted that he would, in fact, be staying, because nobody would have a one-hour special to announce that he’s leaving. But that assumes a different upbringing than he had.

“Parents need to change their attitudes about spoiled children and see instead a child who is attempting to satisfy his needs with an ineffective behavior. They need to change their own behaviors and be willing to take the time to teach new behaviors to their children. They need to be willing to confront, deal with conflict, and take the time to do solution-seeking.”

Applying this to LeBron, let’s look at who was in charge: Dan Gilbert. This man that sent out (or at the very least approved) a pathetic scorned-lover letter. He sent it to rally fans to continue to support the team. To say that he was emotional because he cares about Cleveland would be silly. He is, just like LeBron, looking at the bottom line. While LeBron was here, he spoiled him, letting him get away with walking off the court after a loss without shaking hands with the other team, or not paying attention at meetings. Read here for more of Dan Gilbert’s brilliant insights.

But at the same time, he also plans to build a casino in Cleveland. Never mind that casino’s are essentially a tax on the poor, Dan Gilbert has pushed hard to legalize them. His issues with James are business-related, and his letter was a media-related move aimed to keep fans spending their money on the Cavs (at least, until the casinos open). This blog echoes some of my s

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Note: for the sake of this piece, I am completely ignoring the following information from the Harry Potter Wiki:

Fans have created a timeline of the Harry Potter series from one shred of information in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. At Nearly Headless Nick's deathday party in that book, his death is stated to have been on October 31, 1492. Since the celebration was commemorating the five-hundredth anniversary of Nick's death, this seems to say the scene takes place on October 31, 1992. This timeline is reinforced in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when the graves of James and Lily Potter confirm that they were born in 1960 and died on 31 October 1981.

(Source: http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Dating_conventions)

I choose to do this because while the numbers may line up, the facts do not. While the stories were set in a Wizard’s world parallel to the Muggle world, the Muggle world does appear often in the series, where not all modern conveniences exist, thus making the magical world more advanced and appealing.

I mean, if you think about it, how is the Dark Mark (or Hermione’s DA coins, for that matter) any different from any number of online lists that instantly notify all subscribers of an event? And are any of the communication methods between magical beings (patronuses, owls (really?!), or even communicating through fireplaces) any more amazing than cell phones? And while cars definitely existed in Harry’s time, none of these cars had GPS or standard airbags.

It is this last Muggle invention, then, that I am using to help pinpoint the timeline of Harry Potter (well, this and one other indisputable source, which comes later). Apparently, the first car was invented in 1672 by Ferdinand Verbiest from Belgium. According to wiki.answers.com, this first car was powered by steam. This would be consistent with the fact that Arthur Weasley never ventured into a Muggle gas station in order to re-fuel his own car, nor did Harry or Ron seem to need to. Later, in 1796, Joseph Cugnot used a steam engine to power his vehicle. Over time, as we all know, technology changed to the point that we are now. But we can safely state that cars have existed for a while.

Fine, so the existence of the car doesn’t exactly narrow down the lifetime of Harry Potter. Moving on, then, we can point to the existence of a subway system in London. Well, a quick visit to wikipedia reveals that the London Underground’s first line opened in 1863, and grew over the years. I could dig more deeply into the various lines that are mentioned in the books, but it all falls into place, so we’re making some progress. Now, instead of “anytime after 1672,” we’ve already narrowed down to “after 1863, but before 1983” (based on the lack of cell phones).

As for vehicle bridges in London, several vehicle and foot bridges exist in London, though I’m not sure when the vehicle traffic began on those bridges. Waterloo Bridge opened in 1817, while Westminster Bridge opened in 1862. And since several of London’s bridges have had structural issues causing them to fall over time, any of these bridges could have been the one that the Death Eaters snapped in half during the end of the series. Click Here to read more.

We’ll narrow it down further by the existence of telephone booths, which must have existed in the Muggle world. According to wikipedia, “silence cabinets” were built in the 19th century (to allow callers to hear calls from distant places and shout witho

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Why? Why is it so important for LeBron James to win a championship? Why does Cleveland deserve a championship? Yes, we spend our hard-earned money to go to games and support our teams and cheer them on. And yes, so far, we’ve ended each season not quite on top. So what? LeBron had a bad day and the Cavs lost. We’re down three games to two against Boston instead of having shut down the Celtics and resting up for our next round. We can talk about the Drive, the Fumble, the inglorious history of Cleveland’s sports failures. We can rail on and on about how there is a Cleveland curse. We can even gang up on LeBron and call him out for being a 25 year old spoiled brat that, if he were a true champion – like Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, or even Shaq – he would take the blame on himself.
Well, he’s done that. Time and again, he’s supported the weight of the Cavs success or failures on his shoulders. He’s stepped up and scored 40 points and single-handedly won game after game after game. But ultimately, the team is not called King James and the Cavaliers. He is one of the team. And the burden of getting out of a personal slump and performing at a professional caliber should lie upon the shoulders of each and every player on the team. He is not the only one paid to play a game that people choose to spend money to watch. It is a sport, a form of entertainment, and you know, before buying your ticket, that the outcome is not certain. That’s part of the fun. Spending your money, no matter how much of it you choose to spend, does not entitle you to a particular outcome.
Cleveland has a lot going for it. Not that you’d realize it listening to people today. We are a leader in biotech. We are a bike-friendly city. We have world-class museums, great theaters, and the world-renowned Cleveland Orchestra. We are home to great universities and the “World Class Care” of the Cleveland Clinic. We are a big enough city to have plenty to do, but small enough not to have the crappy traffic that everyone complains about in bigger cities. We have incredible private schools, high-performing public schools, and diversity that enrich our children. Affordable housing, support for small businesses, and a strong sense of community.
And the food here is incredible. We have so many great restaurants all around town to rival the restaurants of bigger cities. Which brings us to Michael Symon. Poor Cleveland hasn’t won any sports championships. But Cleveland’s own Michael Symon, chef extraordinaire, is an Iron Chef. He won that competition, remember? He brought glory to Cleveland, and attention to Cleveland’s restaurant scene.
You know what? You don’t have to watch the game tonight. It’s a form of entertainment, after all, and you can choose to enjoy time with your family instead. Which is absolutely fine. And I may seem hypocritical anyhow, since I long ago vowed to stop spending money on the Browns until they win because the NBA, NFL, etc. are ultimately businesses, and that it seems absurd to spend money on a business without their showing any results (fans will buy tickets even when the Browns don’t win a game).
But ask yourself this: are you as hard on politicians and large corporate CEO’s as you are on LeBron? Here we have a man who has worked hard, is starting his own marketing company, being a great role model for lots of children. The biggest offenses he’s had have been wearing a Yankees cap and failing to apologize for having a bad game. Meanwhile, other “role models” are in the limelight for gun possession, alleged rape, drugs, drunk driving, or being sex-crazed cads. Here’s what isn’t being highlighted today:

• 
  The LeBron James Family Foundation


• The LeBron James ‘King for Kids’ charity bike-a-thon,


• Donating $1 million to Matt Damon’s ONEXONE charity against child hunger
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